Speaker 1: You guys, you guys, welcome back. Did you get yourself
saying that you guys, you guys, welcome back to this
episode of Talkin' Schmidt. It's me Mother. Hello, Hello, I've
missed you, besties. What is going on? Before I dive
into the episode, I want to let you guys know
about some upcoming shows I have January seventh. I'm in Portland, Oregon,
January eighth, Seattle, Washington, January twenty seventh, Rallied, North Carolina,
January twenty eighth, Austin, February thirteenth and fourteenth, Jansville, Wisconsin,
March thirtieth, London March thirty first, Berlin, March twenty second, Amsterdam.
I am so excited to get back on the road.
I'm releasing a new special by the time this episode's out,
it'll be out. It's called Sorry Dad. You can get
it on my YouTube. And I'm so excited to be
working on my new hour and see you guys out
on the road. How are you, guys? I missed you.
I feel like episode I kind of just you know,
I had Santino on and we just kind of blew
past the fact that I'm moving out of La we
didn't really give it any proper attention. So I want
to talk to you guys about that this episode. Uh,
mister Manhattan and I are moving to Palm Beach, Florida.
He is putting me in a fucking home. He is
retiring my ass. Uh No, we're moving to Florida. He's
opening a bagel shop there. It's called two and two Bagel. Bagel.
I can't say bagel.
Speaker 2: It's like Bagel's Wisconsin of.
Speaker 1: You, Bagel, Bagel two one two bag He's like it's
a literal fucking hate crime against his company that I
don't know how to say bagel to bagel, Bagel, Okay,
two one two bagel co. So anyway, he's opening a
bagel company. I said it wrong again, bagel company. Fuck.
Fuck fuck. This is not gonna go well. And I'm
going to be spending all of twenty twenty six learning
how to say bagel. Uh. So, yeah, we're moving. We're
moving to Palm Beach. I'm so excited, you guys. I've
lived in LA for nearly fifteen years. I love it here.
It is the only place I've really ever felt at home.
It took a very short amount of time between me
moving out of Wisconsin and into La before. I felt
like when I got on a plane to come back
to La, La was home. La was a place that
when I was ten, my mom took me to Disneyland
and I saw palm trees in the sunshine and the
people in the ocean and the vibes, and I was like,
Oh my god, people live like this. This is so
special and incredible. And my goal in life was always
just to live in La. My goal was never to
be a comedian. My goal was I never really had
career goals. It was just La was the goal. And
then I got here and I had a really great,
big life and I'm so grateful for everything that I've
done here. You know. I had a big career in advertising,
and I started comedy here, and I you know, bought
my first house here, and I lost my first lost,
and I got married for the first time, and I
got divorced for the first time. I listen, a lot
of my life has happened here. I got Biggie Small's
the dog here and I've had him for twelve years
and I left him so much. He's coming with me
to Palm Beach. The co parenting will commence in January.
My ex husband got a new dog already, and Biggie
is coming with me to Florida, and he's probably gonna
come on the road with me a lot, because mister
Manhattan is gonna be busy making bagels for Palm Beach
and he is not going to have time to help
take care of a doggie. And plus, I don't know
big he's getting older, and I just every time I
leave him, I get so deeply sad because I'm just like,
I don't want to leave him. I don't want to
miss any part of his life. Like I don't know.
He's just so sweet and wonderful and if you ever
meet him, you're so lucky. You know. Is he a
perfect dog? No, but he's prey good. I'm talking like this.
He's on my lap and I just want him to
hear how much I love him. He's in a guccie
hoodie because it's getting cold out. But anyway, yeah, I'm moving,
and I you know, I it's very bittersweet for me.
And you know, I drive around and I look at
the foliage and the greenery and the city. It's a
city that I love so much, and there's so much here.
That's wonderful, but you know, for the past few years
I've felt pretty untethered living in LA. I would say
probably post divorce, you know, after I lost the house
and just didn't have the stability of the marriage anymore.
And you know, I'm on the road all the time
as a touring comedian, so I come back and you know,
my friend's circle has shrunk here and it feels like
there's less for me here, and I don't want to
base my life around a city anymore, especially when I
met a partner that I'm really excited about, and I'm
really excited to start a life with him, and I
think we just want to do that. You know, there
was a world where I waited and I waited out
my tour and then I moved to Palm Beach. But
you know, I don't like doing long distance. It's been
really challenging for me. And when he and I are together,
it's really easy. And we've co existed together enough. You know,
I've spent two weeks in New York, he spent two
weeks in LA. We've had enough solo time together living
in each other's space to know that when we co
exist together we're gonna be good. And listen. I know
that I might have got behind a mic less than
a year ago and said I'll never fucking live with
a man again, and I did. I say things all
the time and I really mean them, and then I change.
And I think that is the beauty of being human,
is that we have permission to change. And I changed
my mind. And I'm going to move to Florida with
my Mayan, and I'm really excited. I'm excited to build
a home with him and to build a life with him.
And I'm so excited for jaw renovations to come to
our place out there. I am very sad to leave
my place behind. It's, you know, so stunning, and I
really have enjoyed living here, but like I said, I
just feel emotionally untethered to this town. I haven't felt
like you know, yeah, I do. I do spots and
I and I work here, and Mike is here.
Speaker 2: Mike I travel not well, We're cheap, I travel Mike.
Speaker 1: I I'm heartbroken to be leaving Mike behind. I want
to bring him with me to Palm Beach, but I
can't afford that now. So whenever I can, I will
I'll get him out there.
Speaker 2: But yeah, bagel shop number two pops.
Speaker 1: Off, Yeah, exactly, once we once the once the dough
starts rolling in jokes like that, I know, jeez. Okay, anyway,
so that's what's going on in my life. I feel
really chaotic right now, if I'm being honest. I decided
to make December the busiest month of my year, which
is crazy because this is the month where most people
wind down. But I, you know, launched the pod, which
I you know, have saw some of your comments, and
I'm so excited to have you guys all here with me,
and your love does really truly mean the world to me.
Like I said, I knew this was going to be
a smaller party than the one we were at before,
but I'm happy for those of you who showed up
this time. And if you don't like it, I'm sorry
that I'm not your cup of tea. Solo, I totally
get it. It's a different vibe when I'm you know,
talking into the ether, and it might feel a little
chaotic or disjointed, because you know, first times are weird,
and this is my first time doing a solo podcast,
and it's a little weird talking to yourself. It's a
little bit of a mental illness, a little bit of
a net. You can diagnose it somewhere on the DSM
for sure. So yeah, I launch a podcast. I'm launched
as special and I'm moving out of the state, across
the country to a brand new place where I don't
really know anyone, and I'm excited. I'm excited for what
lies ahead. Although you know, listen all the stereotypes about Florida,
A little scared about those. We'll see, We'll see what
it's like. I don't, I don't really know. I've been
to Miami a bunch. I love Miami. I I'm moving
for love, Guys, I don't. I don't. I don't know
what else to say. That's the truth, you know. The
reality of my job is I can do it from anywhere.
I can podcast from anywhere, and I can travel to
my stand up gigs from anywhere. So I am going
to do that and it's going to be chaotic and crazy,
and Mama's going to be stressed for the next couple
of weeks. But the good news is there is no
good news.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: The good news is. The good news is there's absolutely
no good news. So now I'm I'm happy, I'm excited.
I'm ready for a change of pace. I'm ready for
a slower life. I've been saying that for a while.
LA is still a fast life, even though it's a
slow life. In terms of a city, it doesn't feel
like New York.
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 1: It was in the cards for a little while. Mister
Manhattan and I were talking about him getting a place
in Palm Beach and then USh sharing a place in
New York so that I could go do comedy and
do shows. And then, you know, when we realized the
reality of him, like I fully wrapped my head around
the fact I was moving to New York. I went
there and I was trying to enjoy it. But that
city greats on me. There's so much energy, there's so
much noise pollution, there's constantly a siren, there's constantly interference
from someone walking directly at you. It's a really I
think it truly is a city for young people. And
I'm not saying that I'm not young, because I'm a
young baby girl, but I'm just saying like young, like
twenty somethings, like when I was on you know, coke
and fucking partying that would have been my city, but
that's not my life anymore. I think it would have
been a really tough place for me to relax in.
Like even mister Manhattan now because he's got rid of
his place there and when he goes back, he's like, WHOA,
this is really jarring, and he grew up there, like
he's been there his whole life. New York is it's
a different city. It's for a different breed, and I'm
not that breed, you know. It's for a tough, tough motherfucker.
And I'm like a little too sensitive, and I meditate
too much to not be affected by the noise and
the chaos and the commotion and everything that's going on.
And it is a city full of hustlers and there's
a ton of energy, and there's a lot of great
social life and food and wonderful things about New York.
But I think for me, ultimately, Florida feels a lot
more aligned with what I like to do and how
I like to feel. And I'm excited for the sunshine
and like the warm winters and boat rides and just
kind of enjoying my life a little more. And I am,
like I said, excited to build a life with mister Manhattan.
So that is the tea you guys. I'm sorry that
I just blew past it on the last episode, but
Santino was on a roll and you know, I wanted
to let them cook. So that's what's going on with me.
I will be moving, don't worry. The podcast won't be
taking a break. I'm going to be banking some episodes,
so you guys are fully fed while Mama is moving.
But yeah, there's some big changes going on in my
life and everything I do, I'm kind of enjoying it
like this might be the last time I do it.
You know. I'm doing my little night walks down Rodeo,
which I love because you know Rodeo during the day.
I've talked about it before. I don't like it. I
think it's hectic. I think that there's a lot of
dark energy there, and I think there's a lot of
people that are, you know, selling themselves in their bodies
for purses and bags, and there's a lot of people thinking,
if I buy this bag, I'm going to feel like
I belong in Da Da Da Da da Da. Like
there's a lot of really dark energy there. But at
night it's just a bunch of really pretty stores. I'll
lit up and I like to go walk down it.
I actually did see something recently that said seventy five
percent of luxury spending comes from the middle and lower class,
which is crazy. I just think that's a crazy statistic,
and I think that kind of reinforces something that I've
said before, which is that our people are kind of
spending outside of their means to get things that make
them feel like, maybe for two minutes, that they're that
they made it, or that they belong to, you know,
a higher tier of individuals. I've gotten to a point
in my personal journey and I'm not a fashionista, so like,
I don't take any fashion advice for me or any
advice for me ever at all, because I'm not anybody's
I shouldn't be anybody's hero. But I've gotten to a
place where brands have started to give me the ick,
like to like people that wear brands a lot, I'm like,
what are you trying to prove? And too who? And
like I understand there are people who genuinely love fashion,
and those brands elevate their wardrobes and they know what
they're doing. But I think brands for the sake of
brands have really given me the ick. Also the amount
of like fake shit that's that's clearly everywhere. I don't know.
I think it's it's a more of a psychological thing
for me. I'm like, what are you trying to prove
and to who by wearing this thing? And listen, I
have one purse that I love and it has a
big ghost why I sell like bronze logo on it
and I won't get rid of it because I love
this bag. It's the bag I got for myself after
I got divorced. I think it's beautiful. I think it's
doning whatever. So I'm talking out of both sides of
my mouth right now. But I just I think I've
gotten to a point where I see brands and I go,
I don't like I don't like it. I don't like it.
What are we doing? Why are we doing it? And
then like when all the studies come out about not studies,
all the facts come out about And this was really
illuminated when Trump slapped tariffs on everything and all of
the Chinese manufacturers were like, here, we'll sell you the
ship for what you know the stores are paying for it,
and it's like, you're paying five thousand dollars for a
bag that cost twelve is just kind of dumb. But anyway,
to each their own. If you love a gooch, if
you love a praduct, if you love a YSL, you go, girl, Like,
I want to empower you to do what makes you happy.
I think I'm just sharing where I'm at in my
journey with that. But yeah, all that to say, like,
every time I'm doing anything in La right now, I'm like,
this might be the last time I do it. I
took Biggie and a long walk down the boardwalk in
Venice Beach the other day, and I'm like, this might
be the last time you get to see, you know,
a homeless guy on a unicycle with machete, Biggie, So
take it in, Take it in because this is the
good stuff, you know, this is what people pay the
big bucks for. But no, I'm so excited to be
on a beach again. I'm so excited to be on
a warm beach. Biggie loves a beach. He sprints like
a motherfucker down the sand. So I'm excited for my
new life and a new chapter and everything that comes
with it, and I'm excited to bring you guys along
with me on the journey. And I, you know, I
just I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good. I'm reading a
lot again, which is making me happy. I noticed myself
going down the brain rot of like the social media
reels and tiktoks, and I was just like, oh, I
can feel my brain falling out of my fucking ears.
So I just started reading again. I started rereading and
redoing The Artist's Way, which is a fantastic book and
guidebook for those of you who haven't ever used it
or heard of it. The Artist's Way is basically something
that gets creative out of their stuckness, like if you're
feeling stuck or if you're feeling in a rut, it
kind of breaks everything free. It's a nine week course,
like each chapter. After each chapter there are little homework
assignments and stuff you do with it to kind of
free your creative self. Like one of them is taking
yourself on an artist date, which is like going to
the movie by yourself, turning your phone off, watching the movie,
going to an art gallery, buying painting, something like just
doing stuff that makes you happy and kind of working
with your inner child and your inner creator. I think
it's so easy for all of us to get kind
of stuck in our ways of you know, of just
like our routine. We wake up, we go to work.
Some of you guys have kids, God bless you. It
couldn't be me at this point in my life, for sure,
but you know, you get so stuck in the routine
of like, but for next year when I have a kid. Yeah, No, listen,
Like I said, all I do is get on this
mic and contredict myself. So I'm sure I'll probably be pregnant.
No I want. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not
gonna put that into the universe, but I'm sure listen,
at some point I might have a kid, But right
right now is not that point. All I was saying
is that I admire people who do life and also
have kids because I find doing life hard enough, you know.
But anyway, all that to say, we get stuck in
a mundane routine, and in order to kind of break
out of it, this book is Mike, have you ever
done the Artist's Way?
Speaker 2: No, I live the artist's life. Go to movies alone,
do all this shit by yourself.
Speaker 1: All day okay, okay, Well, I mean I have done
the Artist's way a few times. And after I did
it the first time I wrote a book, I wrote
my book. After I did it the second time, I
wrote my movie. And then I'll let you know what
happens after this time, I'll kill myself. Da da da.
And for I'm just kidding, But there was there was
a chapter in this not a chapter, it's there's something
in the book that really stood out to me that
I want to bring to your guys' attention. And it says,
this is all from the book. So this is from
the artist's way. You guys can read it yourself. But
I'm just pulling some things that resonated with me. The
essential element in nurturing our creativity lies in nurturing ourselves.
Through self nurturance, we nurture our interconnection with the Great Creator.
Through this connection, our creativity will unfold. Paths will appear
for us. We need to trust the Great Creator and
move out in faith. Repeat. The Great Creator has gifted
us with creativity. Our gift back. Wait. Our gift back
is our use of it. Do not let friends squander
your time. Be gentle, but firm, and hang tough. The
best thing you can do for your friends is to
be an example through your own recovery. Do not let
their fears and second thoughts derail you. So this is
talking about like when you're trying to be creative and
friends or people in your life will kind of put
their fears or their perception of being creative on you.
They'll be like, oh, you can't be in you know,
you can't make money by writing a book, you can't
make money by doing da da da da da. You know,
they'll they'll try and tell you, and I think ultimately
it's an act of preservation and they're trying to you know.
I think I think that they're trying to save you
from yourself, to not feel embarrassed or a failure like
a failure later. But I think a lot of us
don't do what we're supposed to do because we're afraid.
And I think, honestly, like, fuck fear. If there's something
you want to do, I think you should do it.
Life is really fucking short, and being creative the moments
in my life when I've been genuinely creative have brought
me the most joy. So I just want to encourage
you guys to you know, if there's anything you want
to do, if they're like when you were a kid,
if you like to paint, or if you like to act,
or if there's anything that you did until you know
the adults told you like you need to grow up.
I think we need to ungrow up. I think we
all need to be kids again. I think we all
need to play more. I think we all need to
take care of ourselves a little better because I think,
you know, the world is tough and it's grading, and
I think there are a few things that can kind
of let the pressure out of the tire a little bit.
And I think one of those things is being creative.
So if any of you have ever wanted to go
on this journey of being a creative in any capacity,
I really encourage you to get the book The Artist's Way.
It's really special. And then there's something in this book
about crazy makers. And like I said, I've read this
book three times before. This has resonated with me every
single time i've read it, but this time especially so so.
Crazy makers are those personalities that create storm centers. They
are often charismatic, frequently charming, highly inventive, and powerfully persuasive
and for a creative person in their vicinity, they are
enormously destructive. You know the type. Charismatic but out of control,
long on problems and short on solutions. Crazy makers are
the kind of people who can take over your whole
life to fix our uppers. They are irresistible, so much
to change, so many distractions. If you are involved with
a crazy maker, you probably already know it. So I
have had a pattern of attracting crazy makers into my life,
and I think this pattern stems from the og crazy
maker that was my mom and I you know, I've
I've talked about this at length before. This is not
a surprise to anyone. My mom had borderline personality disorder.
She was the definition of a crazy maker. Like she
was the original gangster crazy maker. She never had a
day of peace in her life.
Speaker 4: She made one.
Speaker 2: Huh, she made one.
Speaker 1: She made a crazy maker.
Speaker 2: She made you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're saying I'm a crazy maker.
Speaker 2: She made a crazy person because she's a crazy maker.
It was a joke that flew. I missed. I missed everybody.
Speaker 1: Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, you were You're You're great.
I'm I'm not firing on all cylinders today. I have
a friend living with me right now who's going through
a divorce, and she's wonderful and I love her. She
has a big dog. But there's there's a lot going
on in my apartment and my life, and so my
brain is a little like fuzzy right now. So I'm
sorry that I missed a joke. I will be better. No,
but crazy makers, I've done this my whole life. I've
always attracted crazy makers because of my mom. And I
always wonder when I'm getting stuck in my professional life,
especially creatively, I should be able to identify the pattern
by now that creatively, when I'm getting nothing done, Like
I'll look at a year and be like, why has
nothing gotten done this year? It's like, oh, yeah, because
I gave all of my attention to this, this situation
outside of myself, you know. Like I had a friend,
a really good friend in college for a long time
who was not borderline bipolar, actually bipolar and actually one
of the craziest people I've ever met in my life.
Like there was no stability within our friendship, and I
was always trying to maintain some sort of like peace
or like is this going to be predictable and trying
to like maneuver my way through this. And I always
felt like I was walking on eggshells. And I've had
a few of those friendship since then, and I think,
I think, I think we're out of I think we're
out of that portion of my life. I hope. But yeah,
it's just something to be cognizant of and aware of.
Like people can come into your life and kind of
hijack your energy and then you no longer belong to
yourself because you belong to the crazy storm that they're creating.
And I've done this a lot. This is my fault.
I think maybe it's a way to keep myself from
myself and like my highest potential. I think it's a
self sabotaging habit that I have. But I look forward
to not having that habit anymore and to not welcoming
anymore crazy makers into my life. So I just feel
I don't know, I feel good, I feel excited. I
don't know exactly what's coming up. I think my whole life.
You know, there isn't a ton of stability in my life,
like not with my career. It's nice to have feel
grounded again and partnership. I don't know what's on on
the horizon for me, and I think that's kind of exciting.
I just am going to keep creating and putting stuff
out and seeing, you know, throwing shit at the wall
and seeing what sticks. I hang on pause for water.
I have a dry throat from my babe.
Speaker 2: It's fine. I've been restraining from seeing I'm walking on
egg shells?
Speaker 1: Who I'm walking on eggshell Also, that's another great book
you guys should read. I tried to. I reached out
to the author of Walking on Eggshells. She didn't get
back to me. That's fine. I wanted to have her
on the podcast. But I reread Walking on Eggshells recently,
which is a book about dealing with people with borderline
personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. It is a meaty,
fucking book, and I really encourage you guys. If you've sorry,
I keep him. I'm like telling you guys to read.
I'm like, welcome to my podcast. Go read books like No,
it's a really meaty book out borderline personality disorder, the
traits of people with borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder,
the traits of people with that and how they can
overlap and what that looks like. And I remember the
first time I read that book was the first time
I felt like I wasn't alone because I had no words.
I had no language to put to my relationship with
my mom. No, I didn't understand what was going on.
I was in I was her child, so I was
in it. I didn't have the you know, the not
the hindsight, but the I couldn't zoom out enough to
look at things for like, Okay, this is what this
person is doing, these are symptoms of this personality disorder.
I didn't have that language until I've read this book.
This book profoundly changed me. And if you guys are
dealing with anyone with borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder,
read this book. It will profoundly change you because it
tells you basically what you can do to help these people.
And when you have to protect yourself, step away and
create boundaries. And I think it's really important to just
not feel alone and feel a bit more empowered on
your journey. And you know, dealing with these personalities is
the toughest thing I've ever had to do in my life.
It's something I've done more than once. And yeah, I
think that's a great book and if I can, you know,
I might hunt down that author a little harder and
try and get her on here. But if not, you
guys should all go read it anyway. Okay, with that,
we do have a guest on today's episode, But before
we get into the guest, I am going to bring
back badvice and confession corner, which is kind of a
new part of badvice. Like, I want you, guys to
be able to tell me the bad thing that you
don't want to say out loud to your friends, to
your family, to your therapist, say it to me and
let me ruin your life. No, just kidding, No, I
want you to be able to speak freely to me
if you guys want advice on anything. And like I
said a million times over, I am not a perfect
person and I am not perfectly sober, I am not
perfectly in a relationship, I am not perfectly anything. Ever.
I will never be perfect and I'm never gonna pretend
to be. That's the thing about me. All I know
is that I know nothing at all, and all I
can share is you know kind of what I've been
through and my POV and things, So let's dive into
bad ad vice. My best friend is pregnant. I hate
her husband. He's very controlling and not fun or nice
or anything redeeming. Really, I feel horrible, but I wish
she wasn't having this baby. I feel like I lost
her to him, and now I will fully lose her
to the baby. Any advice on how to navigate this.
You gotta have a mental funeral for her every time.
Every time one of my friends gets pregnant. I'm just like,
rest in peace, rest in peace. No, but like, truly,
I think it's normal to mourn a time in your
life when you guys both had lives that were more
similar than not, you know, and there's always going to
be a time when that road forks and one of
you goes one way and one of you goes another way,
and it's heartbreaking, but it is really just the reality
of growing up is that people are going to continue
to change and grow, and you have to give them
space to do so. The other thing, you hate her husband.
That fucking sucks, Like I have been there before where
and I don't like a partner's husband or or I
don't like a best friend. Let me rephrase that. I
have been there before where I don't like a friend's partner.
But you just have to kind of just shut your
mouth and let them make their decisions and respect them
enough as a person to know that they're doing what
they think is truly best for them. And if they're
not willing to see that it's not, or if maybe
they don't truly in their bones don't believe that it's
not what's best for them, you just have to let
people live their lives and make their mistakes and get
through their first marriage. You know, you got to just
like let people fuck up. And it's so hard when
you love someone so much to just let them kind
of walk into the fire because you want to save
them from it because that's your best friend, that's your
home me, and you don't want them to make those mistakes.
But you have to let them make those mistakes. You know,
you have to let people pick the wrong partner. You
gotta just let people do what they're gonna do. And
then babies are tough because like that is like on
every single level, their life is about to change. Their
priorities are going to shift. Like everything is going to
be different from them, and your friendship is going to
be like if it was number two on the list before,
it's gonna be twenty. Like it's not even fucking close.
And that's why I say, like I'm joking, but I'm
not joking, like mental funerals for my friends with kids,
Like when my friends like I got pregnant, I'm like, congratulations,
I am so happy for you if that's what you wanted.
Or do you want me to drive you to the clinic?
You know, what do we do when you're what's the
I'm a little too old now for anyone to want
to go to the clinic. They're like, you know, we
were trying, and I'm like, ah, that's scary, spooky, but no,
I think you gotta just let people go. You gotta
you gotta let people live their lives and trust that
they will come back to you when the time is right.
And you know, it's okay to mourn. Uh, It's okay
to mourn the piece of you that's losing your best friend,
because it's you're not losing them. They're not, you know, dying.
Even when they do die, you don't lose them. They're
still fucking here. But no, you're not really losing or
I think you might be losing a part of yourself.
And it's hard. It's it's hard to watch friends kind
of pivot, and especially pivot into a direction where you
don't feel welcome and you don't want to hang out
with their partner and now there's a kid, and yeah,
it's kind of a fucking mess, but like, it's a
mess you can get through and and uh, and I
believe in you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I've
been through this before where I'm like, ah, another one
bites the dust, and another one goes, and another one
goes and another one bites, Like when Yeah, but then again,
like I, like Mike just said, vibe soon, no, not soon,
Eventually I might have a kid and then I'll be
that person going in that direction. So I think you
got to just let people go on their own timelines
into the fucking into Dante's seventh circle. Having kids does
not seem fun, honestly, I just it doesn't seem fun.
I don't think anyone's is anyone doing it because it's fun,
maybe because it gives your life purpose.
Speaker 2: But people who don't have fun people who don't have
fun all dates.
Speaker 1: Ye have kids, yeah, I you know, I do things
and they're tough enough, and I'm like, I'd imagine if
there's a fucking kid here.
Speaker 2: Well there's an era of people who used to like
have a kid to save a marriage.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Doesn't that sound like the worst?
Speaker 1: That's the worst idea, that's the worst idea. Okay, numero dosse.
I'm thirty six, Hey girl, Hey, still unmarried, struggling, dating,
and ready to give up any advice, give up, give up.
The second you give up is when he's gonna come.
You know, I was like all last year, I was
if you fucking heard me, I was keyking on here.
I was like, I am intentionally dating, and I went
up my partner and then I was like, fuck this,
this fucking sucks. I'm gonna go to New York and
I have a one night stand with a young guy
and that's what I'm gonna do. And that's where I
met my man. You really, I think there is an
energy about wanting something too much and this sucks because
it's like, this is our life. Of course we want partnership,
of course, we want like, of course aren't we allowed
to want things. But it's like the two times that
I decided definitively I am done dating. I am not
gonna do this. Literally the two times I met a
long term partner after that, Like, I had a really
bad breakup before I started dating Chris. I had a
really bad breakup with this guy who, by the way,
I knew the whole time I was in the relationship.
I knew he was gay. I knew he was gay.
He was doing he had a live in roommate that
would like wear his clothes and never, I mean, they
were always together, and I was just like, there's something
going on here, but whatever. I was drunken on coke,
so I didn't really fucking care. We were just partying.
But I knew this man was gay, and he did
some horrible thing to me. Oh I remember we were
gonna go out, So I was like, oh, I ran
to your apartment and I dropped biggie off, and he
fucking lost his mind on me. He's like, you can't
just drop biggie off in my apartment whenever you want to.
You're like crossing a boundary. And then I was like, okay,
are we still meeting up? And then I didn't hear
from him for like two days, and then I was like, okay,
well and then I just like dropped his shit off,
and I was like, I'm done. I'm done dating this
man's gay. I got to get the puckata here, and
I'm gonna I was like, it's the Year of Brittany.
I moved two blocks away from the Hollywood improv. I
was like, I'm gonna go do comedy every single night.
Literally two weeks later, Chris and I started dating. So yeah,
listen every time I've made a decision. Oh and by
the way, that guy, this is just like a little
vindication moment. He just got caught soliciting male prostitution and
doing coke and he had a big old job and
he lost it. And he had a twenty four year
old wife and a kid and he lost that, and
just another episode of Karma doesn't miss a doorstep.
Speaker 4: I knew.
Speaker 1: I knew, and a bunch of people texted me about it.
They're like, JUICYE this happened, and I was like, ha ha, bitch,
ha ha. So anyway, no, I hear your frustration. I
know thirty six can feel old, but it's young. Like
I sometimes joke that I'm old. I sometimes joke that
I'm young. I don't know how I feel always, but
it's like you are still young and someone is coming. Also,
where do you live? Are you in your hometown? Have
you gone through the whole dating pool? Like I need
more information to give you bad advice, and to give
you the bad advice you're looking for. I get it.
It's tough, like I I, like I said, I was
ready for partnership, and I was like trying to call
it in and I allowed some dating coach to tell
me my profile was terrible and really hurt my feelings
and like kind of was one kind of be a
fucking cunt about it. But yeah, like I allowed, you know,
I allowed myself to I was really trying to put
myself out there. And when I finally was like fuck this,
fuck all of this, I am actually going unhinged just
to have a one night stand, my intention changed. And
like my point there is that I think the universe
can feel it. And it's like the law of attraction, right,
when you go too close to something, it pulls away,
And so I was doing that. My the vibes I
was putting out were not the right vibes to attract
what I was looking for. And then when I finally detached,
you know, mister Manhattan came along and and yeah, it's
like the second meaningful partnership I've ever had in my
entire life. Well, I know, baky, I'm so it's the
third year. The first. Chris was the second, mister Manhattan
is the third. Anyway that Okay, so those two are
bad byes. This one I need to talk about it
because it's so fucking crazy. But I don't know how
to call this down. This girl rode in and it's
really long, So I'm gonna do my best year. I
have a little tea for you. I'm freshly divorced. Actually,
you know what, I'm gonna just recap this because it's
really really long. Okay, So she's newly divorced. She found
out her ex husband was cheating on her with a
trans woman, and that incited some homophobia in her. She's like,
I've never been homophobic before, but all of a sudden,
I'm feeling things I've never felt before, and I don't
know how to deal with these emotions. But it sounds
like this man was just her husband. Her ex husband
was gaslighting, He was sending her nudes to other people
without her permission, he was asking her to go on
only fans and to share her with other guys and
like to do all this stuff that made her really uncomfortable.
And then as an aside, she randomly also told me
that he they had three dogs and two cats, and
one of the dogs ate one of the cats, and
then he was supposed to rehome the dog and instead
of rehoming the dog, he shot the dog. And it
was like, it's such a trauma dog.
Speaker 2: Criminal. Huh pretty criminal?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's illegal. I don't know where she lives. She
could be in the South or somewhere where that's not
Is there anywhere that's not illegal?
Speaker 2: I don't want to google it.
Speaker 1: I don't. It's also like whatever, we don't even care
that you're shooting loads in a trans guy's ass. You
can't shoot a load and a dog like we can't.
You can't unload a clip and a dog. It's fucking crazy,
Like that's some that's that that made me like jump
I I I do. This man's transgressions in terms of
his sexuality in his marriage takes such a fucking back
seat to what he did to the dog like this
is a bad man. That is a bad fucking person,
and listen, like there are extreme cases where dogs do
need to be put down. When I was in my
first marriage, we had a bloodhound that bit people, bit
me in the face, bit another girl in the face,
broke skin, bit my boss in the face, and literally
her lip from right beneath her nose to the bottom
of her lip was torn wide open. We had to
call the ambulance. Any other person probably would have sued
the fucking socks off of us, but that woman was
so kind to not But we did have to put
that dog down. But you put the dog down, you
don't take the dog into the yard and shoot it
like that is so inhumane and disgusting. And girl, I
am just so sorry that you went through all of this.
I haven't even addressed like the trans stuff, because like,
I don't know how to, I don't have any advice.
I have no idea how I would feel if my
partner was cheating on me with men and trans women,
and I don't. I just am sending you so much love.
I feel so sad for you, but I also feel
so happy for you that you got out of this
situation because it sounds like you were married to a
fucking dirt bag, and I'm just really happy that. I'm
really happy that you got out because that's horrific and
nobody should be going through what you're going through, yourself
and your animals included. Okay, this episode, you guys, I'm
so excited to have one of my dear friends, Frankie
kem Yonez on the podcast. He is an actor and
a comedian and just one of the funniest, loveliest people
I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Please enjoy this
episode of Talking Schmidt. Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm
here with all fourteen of my hairs on my head
to Berber hair Oil. I am so excited to have
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you know a.
Speaker 4: Co you know, kind of like like salty vet like women.
She was cool, like what's chubby?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 4: You know, she was late, she looks like she had
been through some things. Her hair was tattered, Ok, you know,
but she was kind of you know, an Uber drive
for extra ship.
Speaker 1: Do you see now? Uber has you can request a
woman driver really for women obviously, like if you don't,
because so many women are getting abused by Uber drivers, yeah,
or passengers Uber pass No Uber passengers are getting abused
by Uber drivers. There's like a new thing going around
where the Uber drivers are putting like drugs in the
water and taking advantage of them. So Uber has a
new thing now ship. Yeah, you can request a woman
driver and then just getting a car accident instead.
Speaker 4: Yeah, hear about. Yeah, Christmas decoration is getting taken out
of story the big plans for today. Hey women, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a it's a different kind Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, that's so funny. I didn't know they could
do that. I always felt like, well, they have all
your ship, Uber has all your information. So I was fools,
act shady, you know, right, But but it's happening. I
guess I have one homie though. He just looks like
Johnny Depp and my homiest that hear me say this,
they're going to know exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah,
he's single, but he's he's kind of a nympho. Also,
I won't say his name's I'm sure he's probably probably
good at it. Yeah, but it looks like he's like,
we'll go to like bars and like the last time
I was with him, like, we're at this bar and
one of the girls at worked there just walked up
to him and slipped piece of paper like her number,
Like I never see that happen. You know, and he's
just and he's just all stone in the corner like
you know, but he was uber driving and this, uh,
I think it was a couple. Actually maybe it was.
He's had sexual encounters of multiple passengers, just like they
invite him in and then they end up sucking. And
then there was one that was a couple and the
dude was like was it when he just wanted to
watch dude crazy homie like right there, like right when
they gave the ride. It wasn't like hitting me up later.
Speaker 1: Come in now. Yeah, that's a good gig for him.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And then it was like, my my homie was
like I told him, he's like, dude, I thought you
were like because you know, he would hook a couple
of like really hot chicks, but then also like just
down for whatever and he had to three someone like
these two like big homegirls and you respected it at
the same time, like wow, you're like you know, you're
willing to share it with whoever. And my homie was like,
I thought you were like a player, but now I
realize you're an infomania.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is diagnosable. Yeah, this is a little that's
cool a little.
Speaker 4: Bit, you know, it's also like all right, cool, Like
you know, it's cool for those big homegirls.
Speaker 1: Yeah, listen, big girls love too they do. What have
you been up to me?
Speaker 4: Just you know, I just got back from Montreal and
then I know you're probably like what do you got?
When I got that texture you You're like, fucking this
motherfucker's probaking to cancel on me. He's like bought you off.
And I was like, no, I'll be back, but what
were you doing? I showed up thirty seven minutes later, it.
Speaker 1: Was forty one minutes, Like, it's all right.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, you say dinner or whatever else?
You take care of the homie right here or whatever.
Speaker 1: You're good. You're running on brown time. I told my
twelve thirty. I told you twelve.
Speaker 4: Really no, I was like, fuck, dude, yeah, yeah, what's
what was? But yeah? Was that?
Speaker 1: What were you doing up there?
Speaker 4: There's that show DMV. It's like a new show, so funny.
It's the East Hollywood DMV, but they shoot in Montreal, Canada.
Of course that's the name of the game.
Speaker 1: That show got picked up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's already airing.
Speaker 1: It's like was it has it been going on?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean never mind. I thought this was a new show.
Weren't you shooting a pilot for a new show? Uh?
Speaker 4: No, that was in that didn't get picked up. Yeah
that was and yeah that was the Native American Community
Center in Oakland. That was shot in Portland.
Speaker 1: Right, but you guys, Hollywood, is it real? I the burstrip?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not what it used to be. It's all
in Canada now, in Portland and Atlanta.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You grew up in LA though, right, yeah?
Speaker 4: And there, well, you know, I lived in in LA
so I was like a you know, I was still
pretty young. And then we moved to Ventura County and
then I moved and then I lived in the Bay
for like ten years. That's where I started doing stand
up and I moved back to LA and uh twenty thirteen,
I think, yeah, about twenty thirteen I moved back to.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize you started in the Bay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. Everybody, So I was like everybody from
LA was like, you know, I was like this the
Mexican comic from the Bay. Yeah, but I was really
from LA. But I started doing stand up up there.
I was already living up there for like four or
five years, and then I started hitting, hitting the open.
Speaker 1: Mics and what means you get into comedy And what
was the trauma that triggered?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah whatever, physical abuse, sexual abuse, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: You know it.
Speaker 4: They went to the ring room. But uh yeah, my
mom and dad were die hard stand up fans, you know,
like when they were dating, they would go to the
you know, comedy store, Lave Factory, Hollywood.
Speaker 1: And did they come to your shows?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Oh I bet they love that.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: My dad could give a funk about comedy you care
at all? And then he watched his mind and he's like, really,
he seems.
Speaker 4: So supportive in the photos I see it.
Speaker 1: He is, but he's like, you know, he's like, you know,
I would think it was funny if I weren't your dad.
Like he's like, I don't want to hear about an end.
Speaker 4: Player, Like that's not because you go hard funny as
Yeah I love that, Like yeah yeah yeah for a father. Yeah,
I mean it's tough for my dad to see some
of the ship.
Speaker 1: I do too, so yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but he's like, all right, it's funny though, Yeah
it is.
Speaker 1: That's all that matters. This last special I named it, Sorry.
Speaker 4: Dad, Oh that's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then he was there the whole time. I
couldn't make contact with him. I was like, no, don't look,
so I can't do it.
Speaker 4: Did you did you get any shots at him in
the audience?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we actually had a dad cam on him.
So while he's I'm like talking about giving people chemydia,
He's like, yeah, he's just sitting.
Speaker 4: There like that's my daughter, my princess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, common street trash.
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, I love it. That's my baby. I'm so
proud of her.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love you. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 4: Nah, you know I love you too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're the fucking dog. It's funny because I never
ran into you in comedy. I found you, I know.
Speaker 4: I mean I knew who you were and then yeah,
and then we met and then you call me in
and we had like a really deep connective conversation. And
after that conversation, I was like, all right, that's the homie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, well then we're in this bitch so
yeah yeah yeah, Well I mean you came and you
shared some really poignant stuff, some very vulnerable stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. I was like it was funny
because I was like I would like hold, you know,
suppress all that stuff all night. And then finally I
got to a point and I was like I got
all out and then I was like, all right, I
pulled back now. Yeah yeah, you know that first part
was it with some crazy shit and they're like all right,
like calm down, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you gotta get it out. The flood gates
got to open, you know, because I think the reality
is do you mind me saying where we met? No,
I don't know, Okay, So we met in the rooms
of AA And I think the reality of addiction is that,
like we drink and use because of the circumstances of
our lives, you know, drinking and using at that demon
and if you never let that demon out, it just
grows bigger and bigger, and then it starts to control
you and then it kills you. So it's like, I
feel like you were in a position where you were
finally getting honest about some abuse that had happened to
you in your life, and it did kind of all
just like pour out. But it needed to, didn't it
feel good? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it did that definitely. I agree one thousand percent
that needed to happen for sure, And uh, yeah, the
support that I found from people, and then that phone
call that you gave me was like, especially at that time,
it was like I really needed that, you know. And
I was just like just hearing your story like in
an into it. I was like, you know it just
I was a psych had so much respect for it,
and I just related to it so hard, and I
was just like, damn, homie, Yeah, if I would have
I would have never known that about you, you know,
like if I well, right, and then you were like
offering help or just offering a you know, to be
a friend to me, and I was just you know,
on that level TOOHI just like crazy because people don't
understand that or can't relate to it.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, right, yeah, And I think you know, I
don't have any direct experience with what you went through,
but my mom, you know, yeah, my mom was abused,
and it's like the the ripple effect of abuse within
family systems is so dangerous and so not talked about,
you know. I think there's so much shame around it.
And then also within family systems, people often protect abusers,
and I think there's just a lot of shame around
even bringing light to it. So I was so proud
of you that you were able to kind of look
at that wound for the first time and you know,
maybe realize that was the genesis of the addiction. And
I think since you've been more open about it, both
with yourself, in the rooms, with your friends, with whoever,
the healing started happening.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, like you're a different person now than
the Frankie I met over a year ago.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Like I was a hot mess.
Speaker 1: We're hitting the skids, babe, you come in.
Speaker 4: I can't relapse And I was just like trying to
get I was trying to get ahold of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you've got some time now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a year, next month? Crazy? No, not even building
even a weed gum. Yeah, let's burnt some ship down.
Bring out the plus.
Speaker 1: And that's what I've been saying, that's what this whole
show is about. Bring out the motherfucking But yeah, well, yeah,
what was the Do you want to talk about the darkness?
Do you want to talk about the Yeah?
Speaker 4: I mean out there, everyone.
Speaker 1: Has a different experience with their recovery and what they
went through and what they're willing to talk about. So
if there's anything I say that you want to cut out.
Speaker 4: We can, but like noah, I mean I yeah, I've
said I said a lot. I got pretty vulnerable on
my on my special yeah.
Speaker 1: Which, by the way, fucking like I can't watch stand
up specials because we do this all the time. I
watched yours start to finish in one s. I was like,
I was like, that's my fucking dog. That's yeah, it's
just so lovable on stage. It's such a like bright
light and you're so and I just was like.
Speaker 4: Oh, thank you for for saying that. I know, like
I was pumped. Like The Decider did like a review
on it, and they mentioned that they're like you could
see that he's like reached a point of like it's
coming through the screen like that he's healed and he's happier. Now, Yeah,
he got that he got through something. And you know, oh,
that's crazy that you could sense that, Like, yeah, you
could sense that.
Speaker 1: And I could also so sense that you were excited
to be there. Yeah, yeah, you were, like it was
a moment for you, like you know, like you were
like stepping into something new. Whereas like you know, you
can see sometimes comics like I watched myself back and
I'm like does she hate herself and every joke? She said,
because I.
Speaker 4: Said, I hate watching myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hate watching myself back, but when I watched you,
I felt like the joy and the excitement of just
being there, and that was so special because I think
you don't see that with a lot of comics. There's
like just this this ultimate composure that can come off
as like like you watch Jessel Nick or someone like that,
who's a genius and he's brilliant, but it's just like,
are you enjoying yourself? You know?
Speaker 4: All right next to joke anyway, spoiler? I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it. It's fucking He was like when I
started stand up, I was like he was someone that
I very much looked up to, and I think he's
a brilliant writer and performer. But I'm just saying there's
like a lack of connection, and I felt like you
were so connected to the audience and to yourself in
that moment, and I think probably being sober for that
was a huge part of it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, that was one of my markers of you know,
because it was like January fifteen was the last I
had a mescal on the rocks that morning to take care.
Speaker 1: I always remember the last drink.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, homie, I and I felt it. I was.
Speaker 1: I think this was a fucking mimosa.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what a bitch.
Speaker 1: But it was because I was hungover. You know.
Speaker 4: That's that's why my life. Yeah, after this mosa and
you did that's crazy. I'm going to go out with
a bang bitch. Let him know the champagne.
Speaker 1: Fucker. I'll show you, bottomless bitch, fourteen bottles fucking champagne.
Speaker 4: Later.
Speaker 1: They're like, all right, the bottom of is over. It's Monday.
The bottomlesssas are first.
Speaker 4: If I saw you, Like, if I just saw that,
I'd be like cool, another white girl having ASA. And
they're like, not knowing all the layers that actually come with.
Speaker 2: Man, we've been serving you orange juice for the past
two hours.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's fine, I'm doing Mollie. I'm putting Bali
in the.
Speaker 4: Love of money.
Speaker 1: So a mess call on the rocks. That was your
last stress?
Speaker 4: Yeah? After, you know, I was. I had partied the
days before though, so it was just like that.
Speaker 1: Last January fifteenth. And then when did you film the special?
Speaker 4: Uh? When was it? Say? No, no, no, no, it
was later. It was like, I want to say, June,
June or July.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you had some time?
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, And so I set up a marker. I
was like, yo, just stay sober until you record the special, right,
But then, you know, I started working the program, doing
the thing. And then once I made it to the
special and I had you at, homies sent me, hey,
you're gonna party now. And then it was like, not
not that they wanted me to go off the rail,
but because they heard me say that, like I'm in
a party after I record a special. But then I
was like, no way, I don't want to go back,
you know, to that. I mean, I was a hot mess, homie,
you know, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's also like it's such a funny thing as alcoholics,
we do this reasoning with ourselves, like I'm gonna get
it to this milestone and then I'm gonna burn it
to the fucking like I'm gonna get this fucking awesome
thing that I've been working my whole life for and
then I'm gonna burn it to the ground.
Speaker 4: I mean, it helps in the beginning, That's what helped me,
because the cravings are so strong, like I just want
to get a head changed. I want to fucking take
a shot, do a line, pop up, like do ecstasy,
like fucking whatever. You know you want it, so then
you like, no, don't do it. Yeah, but I always
tell myself like, hey, tomorrow, ho mare, I promise you,
we're gonna get a fucking bottle the Keila, We're gonna
get some Molly's. It's gonna be sick tomorrow, I promise you,
And I would just do it. Do that again the
next day. I promise you tomorrow tomorrow, and then and
then eventually, you know, and it got better. You're like, no,
I don't need that. It can be high on lifetter.
Speaker 1: You come in the door smoke blowing it. You're like,
I got the fucking cards, dude.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just you know, you still think about it.
Obviously I love to party, but yeah, I just but
that train left, you know. It's just like, yeah, oh,
it got so bad getting getting willed out of the
fucking ANDAs the hotel next sort of the comedy store,
it was just like, fuck on man, Yeah, that was.
Speaker 1: Definitely what was that a three day bender?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I started so I remember I was I was
filming like the second season of this full I was,
and then I went to Jersey to do this Walking
Dead spin off, and then I and then I went
to Toronto to do uh what we do in the shadows.
And then I went to to Austin do some shows,
and I went to Vegas, took my mom and dad.
We went to see Santana and then I flew them home.
I kept extending my stay there and then fucking get
the EMTs called them on me at the Vegas airport
and fucking how did that happen? So I had been
I I hadn't slept in like a while, and then
and then I was like, fin, I gotta get home.
I extended as much as I could, so I take
a Xanax bar to chill myself out, you know, for
the fire fly. And I made it to the airport.
I made it through security everything, and I was like,
I need to eat something. Let me go to Jimmy Johns.
I'm already at my terminal and get to Jimmy John's
and I just started falling out. Bro, I don't buy
black out, you know, I don't even remember. I guess
I was like falling on this lady next to me,
and I had like a bag of like munchies at
like Humbo bag of chips, like it has like son
chips and like pretzels and other shit in there. And
I guess like my AirPods fell into the bag and
I'm trying to eat my AirPods and I'm just like
and I remember the security they have, like these undercovered
dudes at the airport. They just wear like a polo
shirts so they're not like strapped up all security vibes
that they're like undercover. And I remember seeing the guy
sit across from me and you're just looking at me
and it's like a little black polo and I know
I recognize those dudes. I'm like, fuck, homie. They say good,
you know, but I was fucking I don't remember the
they call the EMTs on me. They come and fucking
put the lights in my eyes. They checked my vitals.
They're like all right, like you know, he's okay, but
like he's like, you know, we're gonna come back and
check on them a little bit. But we have like
four other situations. Because it was the weekend of EDC,
I didn't go to EDC, but I guess they're fulls
of shit. Was popping off, like medical.
Speaker 1: Wise, Yeah, yeah, no, everyone's over.
Speaker 4: They put me on the no fly list all this shit, right,
oh no, and I'm fucking I wake up on me
and I had slept, I guess for like a couple hours,
and I go and he's a restroom and I come
back and I realized all everything that happened. And then
these dudes that from Texas they recognized me, like, hey, bro,
you good, and I was like yo, like they're like, homie,
fucking the EMTs were here. We caught this couple trying
to film you, like they knew who you were, and
we fucking checked them on me. We're like hey, the
fuck and they're like, oh, I sorry, like fucking assholes,
you know.
Speaker 1: The private moment airport, public airport, Like what the and
I get barred the fuck out America. This is a
freak country.
Speaker 4: What the fuck is this? So I was like all right,
I was like I thank these guys, you know, but
I went to the restroom. I came back and I
really just just needed some sleep. And then I was fine,
and I was talking like this, all right, that's what
I felt that was. And I go find the like
supervisor lady that put me on the no fly list,
and she's like, I talked to her just for a
little bit. She's like, I can't believe I'm talking to
the same person from a couple of hours ago. I
was like, I just needed some sleep. I was like,
I had been working a lot, but also, you know,
I was raging. I was like, look, I had been
working a lot, I've been partying in Vegas. I just
needed some sleep. She's like, fuck a right, you look good,
and she put me back on the fly list, printed
out my tickets. I go to Burbank Airport and my
bags were already there. Because I checked my bags, there's
drugs in there that I was still having to go
to my condo. I saw a party I couldn't stop.
I was on a train that just like my body
was like keep it coming, keep it going in and
then so I sober up, and then like that weekend,
I had some sets at the laugh Factory in the
Comedy Store, and then after it was a Saturday night,
I was like, fuck, I'm gonna get a sweet homie
at the ANDAs you know, just fucking and then I
get a sweet like the fucking balcony. I think I'm
the guy and shit and then I just keep extending
the same thing from Saturday night. And then and then
I get like paranoid with these people that are in there,
even though they weren't up to no good. I was
just like everybody, get out, you know, like not all aggressive,
but I was like, hey, you know, I got a
jam soon. And so then I was just solo, and
I remember thinking like, fuck, the homies are right there
in the parking lot next door at the comedy store.
Like I could just tell them, like, yo, come over here,
like I need help or something. But I was like, ah,
fuck it, you know. And then and then I remember
like finishing like the drugs and then being like, you know,
getting all emo about it, like this is probably it.
I'm probably not gonna wake up, you know, take my
xanax bars, wash it down with a bottle royal, get
all emotional. I was like, probably not gonna wake up,
Like sorry, sorry everybody, Thank God for my time on earth,
like you know. And then dude, I guess I was
supposed to check out, you know, that Tuesday, and they
go in there and I don't know, they probably thought
it was dead, like my I guess my head. My
head was against a headboard. I'm just wearing a robe
like my blue my dicks all out and that was
pre embarrasing because I'm a grower, so it's probably like
a little all drugged out, like tucked in, like just
you know.
Speaker 1: You got an idiot.
Speaker 4: And they were like yeah, they're like and I wake
up and they're like, yo, you know, the paramedics are here,
and I was like what. I was like no, Like
it took me a little while to realize, like, oh fuck,
I woke up, like I'm still here. And I didn't
see it as like an attempt to like in my life.
I just was like I partied myself to to the end,
you know, like this is it. And then yeah, they
were like I was like no, I'm okay, and they're like,
oh man, we're here, we gotta take you and d D.
So you know, I was like all right, you know,
I got to get my shit together, but get up,
I get a hospital, go home, and two hours later
I'm partying again. And then that's when my sister was
like finally got a hold of me. Do her and
Chris Estrada were in the lobby of that hotel trying
to get up to my room. But they're like, we
can't let you up. He has to let you up.
Like the only thing you do is call the cops.
And Estrada told my sister like like, yo, I'm not
trying to get this full arrested. At least we know
where he is. Yeah, and just like fuck man, I
m I sister trying a baby at the house. I
put him through it. Man, my family, and it's just
like and you know you're not doing it intentionally. You
think you're just doing it to yourself because you're such
in a cloud and a fucking tunnel of just like
you know with all the drugs. You're like, this is it.
This is a path God laid out for me as well.
Die like get off fucking selfish like that. But but yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I always thought when I was growing up, I
was like I won't see thirty. That was never the plan, right,
I didn't think I would. I just was like, I know,
I'm in a party as hard as I can until
I die. And that was the plan. That was like
the whole plan.
Speaker 4: I have to still be alive bottom bless Molly mos.
Speaker 1: Like most girls are like by this age, I'm going
to have a husband and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: I was like, I'll have.
Speaker 1: A casket right and I'll be in that bitch like
that was the whole plan. So getting sober really threw
a fucking wrench and everything because I'm just like, well, no,
I gotta be alive.
Speaker 4: No, but you're better sober for sure. No, no, no,
I gotta be alive. I guess.
Speaker 1: I just stay in this bitch.
Speaker 4: Yeah. The I remember the first four or five because
you know, my sister wrote me a letter like how
it would play out for each family member if I died.
Right after this time, she finally got a hold of me.
She's like, motherfucker, you promise me you're going to get
help for me if anything. I'm like, okay, yes, thousand
percent agreed. I was like all right, I'll do it.
And then she wrote me a letter of how it
would play out if I died for each family member.
And that's when like she tapped into something that was like,
you know, the lights came on. I was like, oh,
this ain't just about me. I'm affecting all these people
around me, you know what I mean, and they just
like fuck on me. And then so then it just
came like all right, how do I get away from
this ship because you know, we're sick. Like people don't
realize like that aren't addicts, Like there's a fucking part
of our brain that is like you need these chemicals
in your body right now. And you're like that's how
your brain's been wired, you know, because you're escaping whatever,
trying you need to.
Speaker 1: Get away from yourself. Yeah, you can't be in here
with everything that's happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was fun. I remember the first four or
five days I was at rehouse site. Fuck, I could
have just got it because it was expensive, and I
was like I could have got an Airbnb and Joshua
Tree and locked myself up in there. And but then
but then I started doing it.
Speaker 1: I could have been there with Molly momsa these pills.
After these pills start to freaking out, take a couple.
Speaker 4: Of these, I was like, I'm glad we didn't party together, yeah,
because that was my jam too, like just you know,
Molly's and isolation and just like yeah.
Speaker 1: I was just like, yeah, I was.
Speaker 4: I wasn't doing anything that exciting.
Speaker 1: No, I mean that's the thing. At the end of
the day, it's like the party's fun, you know, when
you're younger, it's fucking fun and it's an escape. And
then as you age and continue to do it and
your body gets more tired, it's like not that fun.
It's like pretty fucking dark, and you're like smoking a
cigarette watching the sun come up, and you're like, is
this my life? That's not what anyone intended. I'm not
supposed to be smoking a cigarette with this homeless person.
Speaker 4: Dude, I've put some shady characters.
Speaker 1: Be Yeah, no, I know, I know it's funny to
think about, but I'm so happy you are almost out
a year and you're on the other side. It does
seem like listen, it's one day out of time and anything. Yeah,
but I'm happy for you. Do you think that when
you got more success and more money it got worse yet?
Speaker 4: For sure? Yeah, it put my shirt on steroids, especially
when the pandemic hit, you know, yes, because work would
kind of keep me, you know, be able to manage
my you know, vendors and stuff like that. And then
people knew that I partied, But even to this day,
they're like, I don't think we're that bad because I
did the worst of it in isolation, you know, just yeah,
and uh, but you know, if I didn't have any money,
I wouldn't party. I never got you know, I've tried math,
heroine all that, and it never got me. It was
like so I was never like stealing out of my
grandma's person, nothing like that. Like if I didn't have
money to party at then I would. I would only
party as much as I could afford. So like, you know,
I was thirty five, sleeping on my homies couch, chasing
this stand up dream, so like I wasn't gonna you know,
but I would still party like when I could. My
whole thing was once a month. That was my like
whatever my uh you know method or whatever. Yeah, yeah,
prisons myself and that would be very calculated. I'm like, oh,
it's been thirty days, you know, and I or like
finding an event or like a DJ and then and
then find some homies kicking and then I would get
my my pills or whatever, get my XA next for
the landing year when I was done, and I would
go on a bender like once a month, and then
I was very very calculated. I had to do it
every thirty days, and I'd be like, all right, that's
my stress release. And I was able to step away though,
But then it started getting into the you know, weekdays
and all that. And then when I started making money
and had idle time, it was just like it's probably
like I didn't you know, I didn't own anybody, no money,
only I'm paid my bills. It's like, what's up? You
can't tell me? Shit, Yeah, I'm like I'm gonna get
fucked up on me, you know, like I earned this ship,
you know. And then it just during the pandemic, it
just I turned into a labrat. Yeah, it's fucking just
a little creature. Like, yeah, I remember so one time
I was so strong out. Sorry I'm probably rambling on.
I was. I had been up for days during the
pandemic and and I was like all paranoid and ship
and I heard my I have like a little front
gate that goes into the front porch area, like you know,
each of our units has that. And I heard that
gate click and then open, and I'm like, funck on me.
They called the cops on me. It's probably like they're
here and it's over. I don't like either my neighbors
call the cops or maybe my family or something. They're
gonna come. I got all these drugs here like it's over,
They're gonna come in here, like just my mind just
went there like that. I'm like crawling on my living
room floor so they don't like see me or my
shadows just like tweaked out. I'm like crawling like like
Navy seal styles, like you can see me.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like a little creature of my old living room floor.
And and it was somebody going to the gate, but
it was it ended up being the gardener, you know,
and I'm like, fuck me, it wasn't the swat team
was invite party with you don't blow my cocaine away
with that blow. But yeah, it was fucking dude. The
ship that you know that I did on drugs is
so wild.
Speaker 1: But I'm also impressed that you were able to maintain
like your career.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. That's why a lot of people are like,
you know, there was a period where it was like
I'd be out in public and people are like, oh,
congratulations and killing it. In my head, I'd be like, dude,
I'm fucking I'm dying homi. Yeah, you know, I need help.
I was like spinning out of control. But it's like
I said, I did a good job of like doing
it in isolation, you know, like I would be fucked
up in public, but when I would really go overboard
was just being alone, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, but that's the that's the juxtaposition that
fucks you up, Like when everything looks great on the
outside and then on the inside you're fucking dying, like
you can't. There's no other explanation for it than addiction,
you know what I mean, Because it's like on paper,
you're making money, you're on TV, you're selling out comedy clubs,
you're doing X, Y and Z, you're living your dreams,
and then you're just dead inside.
Speaker 4: Inside and you don't and you feel like you can't
express that or like you get you don't want to
like complain to other people, especially other comics that are
trying to make it in this game, and you don't
want to be like, but I hate my wife right now. Yeah,
but comedy clubs, And you say, because it's you, we're like,
you know, because we're contract workers. So once I fulfill
that contract or do my weekend at a club or
film a show, once I'm done, it's like all right,
you know, and I got a little window of time
like if I had like three four days, especially like touring,
you know, you get home on Monday from the weekend,
then you know, you know, you're good until like Wednesday, Thursday.
It was always like those Monday, Tuesday Wednesdays started getting
worse and worse for me. You know, it was like, yeah, boy,
what a ship show, homie.
Speaker 1: Yeah truly, but you're on the other side.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank god, I was like, because I was like
thank god. I was like, it was starting to definitely
affect my work. But the worst came of it in
the pandemic when they're you know, I was doing just
like mostly a lot of voiceover work and stuff like that.
Stuff that was keeping me afloat. And then you know,
but you can wear a mask and like hide your
fucking party.
Speaker 1: Oh god, you just have cocaine in the mask.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I remember one time I was like.
Speaker 4: We had a they had like a COVID test like
scheduled for me for like an upcoming project, and I
was like, I totally forgot about it, and I had
been up all I hadn't slept doing lines and ship
and then I got the text like, hey, reminder of
your COVID test today and yeah, and I'm just like
the go up there to swap, take a shower, and
do another line. I try to blow my nose as
much as I can, and then I gotta go to
the fucking the lot, the studio a lot and I
take an UBER obviously, and I'm just like like a
lotter in the backseat. Uber show up on me and
there's like a line, you know, and they're like, Frankie,
but you got the mask and then you got to
pull it down and hold me.
Speaker 3: This the dude doing the COVID test, he like gets
it there and he pulls out this fucking like glob
a fucking party mucus, Like fucking oh.
Speaker 4: It was like red and it was like kind of
bloody and slimy, and you just like, oh, all right.
He just puts it in the thing and I was.
Speaker 1: Like give me that.
Speaker 5: But I was like, oh yeah, you know, I got
a little cold, but positive, but I past the tesla
like COVID.
Speaker 1: For you, I have COVID. I have all the other problems.
I have other illnesses.
Speaker 4: It's so nasty, dude, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I feel like, for as successful as you are, you're
one of the most humble people.
Speaker 4: I know, oh you know, people tell me that, but like,
thank you for saying that, But yeah, I don't know.
My definitely my mom and dad instilled that in me.
Speaker 1: But because they're like you ain't ships.
Speaker 4: My mom definitely still talks ship to me, like you this,
and I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: But my dad always says, humble yourself before God does
it for you, right right, It is like you got
to live with a healthy amount of fear, but you
go to the next level. Like we had a lunch
maybe six months ago, whatever it was, and I was like,
how are you what's going on? Like, how have you
been to da We fucking caught up for an hour
and a half, great lunch. I go on Instagram and
I saw that the night before you were hosting the
Emmys and this, well, doesn't even fucking tell me.
Speaker 4: Just presented some awards.
Speaker 1: Whatever whatever whatever presented. But still, yeah, that slipped the
catch up. But I was like, that would have been
the first and only thing I talked about for the.
Speaker 4: Entire guess what I.
Speaker 1: Did last night, but that you definitely didn't do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, no, yeah, I don't know. I've never yeah,
I've never been like that, and I don't knock anybody
who was proud of, you know, their accomplishments and constantly
announcing it and stuff like that. But I'm just like,
you know, people see it. I did it, so I
don't know.
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm your friend. And you could have
also been like, hey, all.
Speaker 4: Right, now I'm gonna call you last night, bitch I
have and you don't. But yeah, but I was nervous
as hell to do that.
Speaker 1: Whoof I mean, you did great, but you did it
as creeper.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was. That was dope that they asked me
to because they switch it up like the day before.
They were like, yo, would he be willing to do
it as creeper? They asked my manager or whatever, and
I was like what me. I was like, dude, that'd
be I was like hell yeah. And they they're the
ones that got me, like the they gotta they had
those made like the black tank top that creepers but
with a tuxedo print like the Emmy producers had that maide.
So I was like sick and so it helped out.
But dude, I was so nervous because I thought I
was gonna have like you know, staging time or time
of the Green. They told me it's gonna be a
little while, so I thought, okay, you know, you know
how they do. Sometimes they call you in and you
end up waiting a couple of hours. But showing up
and being on the red carpet, I was like, oh shit,
I was this gonna go. But like mad people, even
white people were like, hey, we love your word. And
they're like in gowns and ship and like tuxedos and
I'm just in my cutof So it's like, thank you.
Speaker 1: My manager is obsessed with you. And and Creeper he
couldn't stop talking about it.
Speaker 4: Turn on.
Speaker 1: It's like I love Creeper. I'm like, okay, we get it,
but I I talk.
Speaker 4: You about it. I wear my cutoffs next time.
Speaker 1: But where did Creeper come from?
Speaker 4: Yeah? My I mean my dad first and foremost. He
was like my dad was always like Chuck Taylor's Dicky,
especially when I was younger, you know, low low rider
car club guy, just like he had the you know,
he used to have a sixty five and pollo up
the little chain steering wheel. And then his best friend,
my Nino John, my godfather, he baptized me. Uh. He
was president of this car club called me Heatho's Car
Club for like thirty three years. So I was always
around like the positive side of the culture. And my
dad's like one of the most positive people, you know,
especially when as he got older he kind of softened up.
And uh but even when I was younger, he'd just
be like, you know, you'd be driving me literally practicing
his lowrider like a mehole. You know, work hard, but
true people will respect and dah da dah that's what's up. So, yeah,
he can't. I mean, my dad's not a fitness instructor,
but yeah, you know I used that to tap into
the the thing. But yeah, yeah, Creeper was a yeah,
just an extension of that, you know, some influences from
other family members, cousins and stuff like that, because he
is a kind of like a over the top character,
but he's still very grounded at the same time, like
a lot of people, especially for my community, like Noah, Creeper,
you know, that's like so and so or whatever. Yeah,
so I didn't expect it to like blow up how
it did. But I remember we made that first trollo
fit video. Most of it was improv and I thought
we thought it was funny, but I didn't know, and
it was literally like, you know, we put it out
and the whole thing happened. Like I wake up the
next day, I had messages from Thailand and Australia and
Canada and all these places, all just like what the hell?
You know? I was like, even people that didn't know
what a trollo was, they still gravitated towards Creeper for
whatever reason. So then it was like then I started
touring and then it.
Speaker 1: Was like, yeah, just you freaking.
Speaker 4: That's but yeah, that was that was that was dope,
and it was yeah, change, let's change everything for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Screeper. But for those of you listening who aren't
familiar with Creeper, go check out Frankie's Instagram page. He's
got all sorts of little videos of his home.
Speaker 4: We get on the program.
Speaker 1: How are you feeling after the Hulu special?
Speaker 2: Good?
Speaker 4: Good?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good feedback.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was good. Well, because you know, how do
I mean you just did one. It's just like, you know,
the crazy thing and you know, me and Ali were
talking about that. It was like the crazy thing about
filming a special is it's like you set the date
you know, and you're gonna have you're gonna have the
production there that day and da da D or whatever
weekend or whatever. For us, it was just that one
night we did two shows. And you know how stand
up is like, sometimes you're having a good week. Sometimes
you're having a mediocre week. Sometimes you're in the zone
on stage. Sometimes you're like, you know, it's just that
that riode homie, that's why you got to respect it.
Sometimes the stars do on the line and you know,
you're doing the same jokes that crushed two days before
or whatever the case is. And so you just hope
that you're having a good week that week or a
good day on the stage that day, because you're you're
gonna shoot it that day. There's no moving it because
you're having an off week. So it's almost like catching
lightning in a bottle, you know. You just hope you're
feeling good and uh, you know. And I was like
doing all my work, being on point with everything, and
my family flew up to Portland, everything, I flew my
sponsor up there with me. I was just like feeling good,
you know. And you know when you get to that
place like spirituales in a good place where I was like, look,
no matter what happens, man, you're doing good. I'm proud
of you. Most important thing is you're sober, You're alive,
and and so let's just do this, you know. And
so and then so we did the first show and
I felt okay. It was a you know, it's funny
doing stand up with with all the because you know,
on baldeas they gotta put a lot of anti shine
and so you feel kind of caked up up there.
And I was like, well, this feels you're not you know,
I work makeup when I filmed, but like on stage,
I feel like I was wearing like a little helmet
or something.
Speaker 1: I was like this, lady f Then I'm like, you know.
Speaker 4: Then you're I was like, am I yelling right now? Da?
Speaker 1: Da da?
Speaker 4: But the show went. The show went good. Interestingly, the
early show was a little rowdier than the later show.
But but I was like, fuck, did that go good?
And I got off stage, and you know, and Ali Wong,
who was directing it, she was like, that was great.
And then the producers came out there like that was great,
and I was like, was it? It was like I felt
like I was young and I was like, was I sweating?
I didn't want to like keep patting my head with
the towel on camera from from like sweating it or
like you know, or just I just didn't want that
on camera. Bus But and I was like, do I
look sweaty? And then my makeup artist Homegirl, Aaron Blynn,
I love her. She was just like she was like, look,
I'm not going to let you look like that, Like
if you're looking on sweaty, I will ask them to
stop ship like we're filming. The audience knows we're filming,
like da da da. And then Ali was like, come here,
I want to show you some playback. And she showed
me the playback and it looked great, sounded great, you know,
the jokes were hitting, the crowd was great. And she's like,
we got it yeah, and she's like this next one
is just fucking have fun, like we already got it
so and I was like fuck yeah, so, like you know,
this kind of weight comes off you. So I went
in the second one like just letting my balls hang
and dah da da. And then like well then the
first thirty I would say, the first like minute or two,
I just felt everything just like, line up on me,
and I'm like, and I remember thinking, like about two
minutes into the set, I thought in my head, I
was like, thank you guy, this is it, homie. It's
the stars are aligning right now and it's time to
just get it. And then I was like, I just
was crispy my stage presence. I was feeling every movie
part in my face, every movie like, I was feeling
the audience, the energy in there. I was just like, dude,
when I got off stage, I couldn't help my physically,
couldn't stop myself from just yelling like yeah, you know.
I was like, we did it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was just like, that's it, you know. I did.
I did everything I could. I prepared as much as
I could. I gave it my all and that's that's it,
you know. So it's just like onto the next now. Yeah.
But I felt good.
Speaker 1: Though. Is there anything you're working on now that you're
excited about?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm really excited about the movie that I shot
with Sigora and with Tom s Agora and Luke Wilson's
in It boy Tim Baultz next year. Sometimes yeah, they're
they're in post production right now. But that ship was
so fun because I just been I love like a
rated R hard comedy and I feel like, you just
we don't get many of those anymore, you know. And
even if I wasn't in it, I'd be like, hell, yeah,
I want to watch this. But the fact that I
got to be in it was was cool and it
was just so fun and same thing. Everything kind of
just aligned. The chemistry with the cast was great. Uh,
Genesis Rodriguez was on it. She she's like on Lioness,
you know, Wich is definitely not a comedy. It's like
she's such a great actress. So there's that like balance
of like people that can do drama well and then
helps the jokes hit harder. I mean, I play a
coked out cartel leader, right, just so dude. It was
so funny too, because like my first day on set,
you know, they put they make like a vitamin mix
that looks like cocaine, and then they'll put like they
dip the straw in like honey on the inside so
that you still could snort it, but most of it
gets stuck in the money, right, and then you're just
snorting vitamins. But it was funny because of one of
the ladies was like, what are the producers like, yo,
do you want to watch a quick tutorial on how
to you know, sell doing cocaine on camera? Like you know,
because they wanted to look real like.
Speaker 1: And I was twenty years of field research.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I've been to rehab twice. And
she goes, oh, okay, yeah I got this.
Speaker 1: She's like, so you're.
Speaker 2: If you need me to teach any other actress, we
could do it right here.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. So yeah, yeah it was a lot
of fun. But yeah, it was like I did a
couple of episodes of Saint Dennis Medical. I think my
episode just aired, like I mean I think I know
a couple of weeks ago. And then I just did
that that d m V thing.
Speaker 1: But and then we're going to get our show made.
Speaker 4: Yes, we're going to get I don't know if I
was allowed to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we can talk about it. I mean whatever. I'm
just like I read a highlot called Degenerates and it's
about to rehab and I wrote a role for Frank.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then and I was like yeah rehab, hell yeah,
right up my alley. But yeah, I remember I was
like I read the the script and I was like
hell yeah, and then you know, and we're now we're yeah,
then we're.
Speaker 1: Shopping it around. It takes time. The ship takes time.
Very annoying.
Speaker 4: Well then you went on your like world tour with
you know, okay, I don't know, allowed to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was like, damn girl, like we're on your Instagram,
like what the fuck like ocean Front Bella. I'm just.
Speaker 1: When you text me like next time you go somewhere,
let me come bags. We're going to Italy next to me.
Speaker 4: I was so happy for you. It did.
Speaker 1: It sucked what it went horribly wrong? It tits up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we got with your man.
Speaker 1: No no, no, we got catfished by a hotel and
then we went oh.
Speaker 4: It was like how does those you know, the videos
go like I get away? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was supposed to be like this wellness retreat where
it's like you get facials and massages and there's these
pools that you like. What we got there, it was
just like mobbed with Russians. It was the worst massages
we've ever had in our lives. And we're like, we
looked at each other and we're like, we got to
get the fuck out. Of here, and then we went
to Milan and then Milan's kind of just a gray,
shitty dumb have you ever been.
Speaker 4: I've never been to Milan, but I've been. I've been
to Italy, you know, I've been to like Rome, Naples,
Mafi Coast was cool.
Speaker 1: Maas is great. I think if to go in the summer,
we went in the fucking winter.
Speaker 4: Okay, going to Chicago and winter.
Speaker 1: Obviously, I'm I'm admitting that we fucked up.
Speaker 4: It's all good. It was like a fire face.
Speaker 1: A fire festival. It was a character building trip for
our relationship.
Speaker 4: Oh hell yeah, hey, maybe that's what was in the plan.
Speaker 1: Are you dating?
Speaker 4: I'm trying. I recently started, like they, you know, also
focused on work and and well sobriety number one. Yeh,
work and then you know, not dying right and then uh,
you know, and then they're like, oh, you know, you
got to wait a year before you start thinking about that.
You know, I was in a relationship to who you know,
I still got you know, I still love that person
very much, but.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we the door open there.
Speaker 4: I don't I don't know, it's like, you know, I'm
definitely open to it, but like and we're still you know,
cool with each other, but you know, I don't to
press the issues, especially after what I put her through
of disappearing, you know. And but uh yeah, we broke
up like last October, so like just over a year ago.
And then recently I was like, all right, because you know,
my fuckers get lonely and shit, and it's like or
you just want somebody to hey, let's go to dinner,
like yeah, take you know. And then uh so I
started going on dates recently, and it reminded me how
much I fucking hate going on dates. You know.
Speaker 1: It's just like because you know in two seconds whether
or not you want to have the dinner with that person,
but then like oftentimes the answer is no, and then
you still have to you have to.
Speaker 4: I mean, luckily it wasn't like that. I was like,
all right, there was nobody that I'm like, and I
haven't been on that it literally been like on three days.
But it was like there was nobody that I was like,
I got to get the fuck out of here. But
it was definitely like, all right, this person's cool, but
you know, it's probably it's not my vibe or whatever
the case, but it's just that first initially, So you
like hiking, how many siblings you have?
Speaker 1: Where to grow up?
Speaker 4: Saying you have to do all those things?
Speaker 1: I want to kill myself. I feel like you go
on an icebreak, like I want to get to the
fucking kicking.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what's up, Let's go do this thing or whatever?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah? Are you d ms open? Because
my my girls will fucking but the little listeners are gone.
Speaker 4: I got enough to take you to dinner, Red Lopster.
Treat you right, girl, do that Red Lobster and ingle Wood.
Speaker 1: You're so funny. Well, thank you so much for coming on.
I love seeing you, I love talking to your success.
Speaker 4: You're the homegirl, Bradany, I got mad love for you.
Speaker 2: I think you should teach him the word of the
week before he goes, oh.
Speaker 1: My god, word of the week. I do word of
the week because I'm trying to keep people smart. Okay,
do you want to pick a word or should I
pick one?
Speaker 4: Now? You pick one? Okay, wait, keep people smart? Are
you gonna tell me what that word means?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I'm going to be Okay, we're teach me a word.
Speaker 1: We're all getting smart together. Okay, Yeah, I just want
a bigger vocabulary. I feel like mine is not that.
Speaker 4: Great talk with an English accent, so will it feels smarter?
Speaker 1: Like? Okay, ardent? Do you know what ardent means?
Speaker 4: I've heard the word. I've definitely heard the word before.
Fun it means now you your girl listener is gonna
be like fuck stupid.
Speaker 1: They're gonna be like perfect, we can take a change.
Speaker 4: I get all his money.
Speaker 1: Ardent intense, passionate, devoted, characterized by high emotion. Ardent people
show great enthusiasm for causes and people close to them.
Barbara an Ardent stamp collector. Ardent stamp collector.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, it was like I thought it was, oh yeah,
that's my vibe, and then it's like Stamps.
Speaker 1: Stamp has the most impressive collection of French stamps in
the school. I hate that example. Ardent intense passionate. Frankie
is an Ardent cokeyser. Yeah, past tense, okay, Ardent whatever.
I don't know what I'm ardent about. What am I
ardent about? Really nothing? I'm kind of I'm the opposite
of ardent. I'm the opposite of Ardent. I'm like, uh,
You're I'm apathetic.
Speaker 4: You're ardent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not really ardent.
Speaker 4: Know what do you mean? I feel like you're art
about comedy here.
Speaker 1: I do comedy. I do comedy because I'm decent at
it without trying too hard.
Speaker 4: Taking care of yourself. You do a good job of that. Oh,
thank you well, because you know you go to all
the places and the spas and the treatments and things.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: I think that.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend I was talking about botox the other day.
He's like, you don't get botox. I was like, yeah, like,
why do you think I like.
Speaker 4: The fillers?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh yeah, they get the killer blindness.
Speaker 4: What is that? She explained it to me. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was just like, because it looks like golf balls
in the cheek.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they just get in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Fuck that's wild. Yeah, not knocking it.
Speaker 1: It was just, you know, it is. It's crazy what
we do to look three days younger. It's crazy what
we do to look like we slept last night. All right,
You're amazing. I love you so much. Tell everyone where
they can follow you find you all that shit.
Speaker 4: H yeah, you find me at at Frankie and you
probably can't spell that, so just google comedian Frankie Q.
Please watch Creeperscrib Live from my Compas garage on YouTube.
And then please watch Damn That's Crazy. It's on Hulu,
director by my homegirl, Ally Wong. That's my comedy special.
And then be on the lookout for me and Britney
Show coming to you soon. That's what's up.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, I love you so much, Love you too,
Thank you for being here. All right, you guys, thank
you so much for tuning into this episode of Talking Schmid.
Go follow us on YouTube, and us is just me
and Biggie Small, so it's not just man here. Follow
us on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts,
and we will see you next week. Besties, M