Speaker 1: Gary, I got your message and came over as soon
Speaker 1: as I could. Did you get me that audition for
Speaker 1: Sailor Moon on Ice?
Speaker 2: Better?
Speaker 3: Bowden?
Speaker 4: Baby, I'm about to introduce you to the newest sensation
Speaker 4: in the entertainment industry. Moveover TV, say bye bye motion pictures.
Speaker 4: Here comes the podcast.
Speaker 1: The podcast.
Speaker 3: These things are incredible, bo real boff osako. It's exactly
Speaker 3: like radio, but better. Coco invented the whole concept.
Speaker 1: Conan O'Brien did not invent the podcast, Gerry. I've been
Speaker 1: pitching Binging Benson with Boden for years.
Speaker 3: Not Conan O'Brien, the Barbarian guy.
Speaker 1: Coco the Barbarian is not a real person.
Speaker 4: If being a character on a podcast doesn't make you real,
Speaker 4: then I don't know what does?
Speaker 3: All right? Well what am I booked for? Well you're not.
Speaker 3: But maybe when your vampire movie comes out and you've
Speaker 3: got a little.
Speaker 1: Heat, then why did you have me come over here.
Speaker 3: So you can listen to it with me? Here?
Speaker 4: I'll tune the old podcast dial last is not how
Speaker 4: podcasts work.
Speaker 1: Is big and scary.
Speaker 5: Even when you're extraordinary, when life won't.
Speaker 2: Go as planned, we all can.
Speaker 1: Use a hand, But Coco doesn't talk to me.
Speaker 3: Coco doesn't seem to see that he needs a friend.
Speaker 2: Hello everyone, and welcome once again to Coco the Barbarian
Speaker 2: needs a friend. I'm your producer, Matt Curley, and with me,
Speaker 2: as always, our Warrior leader and host, Coco the Barbarian.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Curly. Curly, you shouldn't interrupt me, Mad, I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: as you said, I am Coco the Barbelian. This is
Speaker 3: my show. It's a good show, very you know, it's
Speaker 3: people come on and they want to be my friend,
Speaker 3: so it's very nice.
Speaker 2: And with us as always, of course, Coco's erstwhile sidekick
Speaker 2: and assistant, Red.
Speaker 5: Sona very happy to be here.
Speaker 3: Well, Coco.
Speaker 2: I was reading in a variety today that the podcast
Speaker 2: is starting to make a bit of a mark, make
Speaker 2: a bit of a splash. I don't want to imply
Speaker 2: that you've ever been away, but the headline does read,
Speaker 2: is this Coco's big comeback?
Speaker 3: But yes, a minute's silly. First of all, I don't
Speaker 3: like that I'm in a magazine that is just various things.
Speaker 3: It's just a random sort of variety. They like that
Speaker 3: it should be called maybe like fear some Warrior magazine
Speaker 3: in or magazine for shiny musclemen. That is do Maybe
Speaker 3: they could change.
Speaker 2: It play girl, play girl.
Speaker 3: I think that's what you're thinking of, DearS.
Speaker 5: That's right, but you're not a girl.
Speaker 3: No, but it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2: It's a never mind, you know what print is dead anyway.
Speaker 2: But we are very excited because you know, if this
Speaker 2: podcast continues to gain traction, perhaps we'll be seeing you
Speaker 2: again on the big screen or perhaps a streaming service.
Speaker 3: That's all right. Of course. I sometimes climb big screens
Speaker 3: so that I can make it up to the rafters.
Speaker 3: You know, when you are a hero, you need to
Speaker 3: do that sometimes, and so maybe I would be on
Speaker 3: the big screen. I've never climbed the streaming service before,
Speaker 3: but I would do it.
Speaker 5: Are a very strong swimmer, that's true.
Speaker 3: I could. I could swim in the video stream. But yeah,
Speaker 3: so I haven't gone away everybody. I've been around, and
Speaker 3: I would be coming to a stream near you to swim.
Speaker 2: Do you recognize that when I say streaming service, I
Speaker 2: don't mean a body of water, but I mean like Netflix.
Speaker 3: Well, I haven't heard of that. Is it a river?
Speaker 2: No, it's a how do you get your entertainment Coco.
Speaker 3: Well, what I do is I get my sword and
Speaker 3: then put it on my back, and then I go out,
Speaker 3: and then I go and I raid the villages and
Speaker 3: I destroyed the things that they don't like in the villages.
Speaker 2: You know, we're in North Hollywood right now.
Speaker 3: And now it's really hard to find them.
Speaker 2: A village. Yeah, there's not a ton of it.
Speaker 3: It's really not.
Speaker 5: Very few gestures too.
Speaker 3: I heard of one across on the other side of
Speaker 3: the country. It's called Greenwich Village, and I went there,
Speaker 3: but they couldn't find any thatch roofed houses or you.
Speaker 2: Know, you met a lot of other sweaty musclemen though.
Speaker 3: Well, yes I did, Yes, didn't We saw on the
Speaker 3: wind with me.
Speaker 5: It was. It was a very very sweaty place.
Speaker 3: Not very productive though I brought.
Speaker 5: MyoD, very little stabbing.
Speaker 3: Hardly any at all. Maybe only like two or three
Speaker 3: times did I do stab?
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you know we've tried to talk about
Speaker 2: this before. You know, you are very reluctant to give
Speaker 2: up your sword. Max Security here really and says we
Speaker 2: have to lock them up.
Speaker 3: It's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: It's just that you know, you were in the news recently.
Speaker 2: It's how you came to my attention. I have to
Speaker 2: admit I didn't realize you were still out there doing
Speaker 2: the barbarian thing. And when I.
Speaker 3: Probably don't talk about it. Then if it doesn't come
Speaker 3: up in the variety.
Speaker 2: Well exactly, it had not. It had not been in
Speaker 2: variety until I saw there was an incident with you
Speaker 2: and your sword at the NoHo. In and out.
Speaker 3: Well, sure, I mean it's it says in and out,
Speaker 3: and so you know. Son suggested that you know.
Speaker 5: Are you put the sword in, you put the sort out.
Speaker 3: That's correct. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Speaker 5: And you put it in and then out again, and
Speaker 5: then you get your burger.
Speaker 3: That's what I figured, especially since it is a place
Speaker 3: where people go to eat burgers. I figured that the
Speaker 3: burghers had to be killed somehow with his sword. And
Speaker 3: so I was looking around.
Speaker 5: There were no cows.
Speaker 3: There were no cows there.
Speaker 2: But right into the regional manager.
Speaker 3: Well he would sort of out, his back turned and
Speaker 3: he was wearing a shirt that had like a black
Speaker 3: spot here and the black spot there. I really thought
Speaker 3: that this is just.
Speaker 2: A bipedal cow, Hollywood cow.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean on the plus side, you missed all
Speaker 2: his major orderies, and he he has survived. I know
Speaker 2: there's a pending lawsuit that we're not allowed to discuss.
Speaker 5: Yes, and he never got a burger.
Speaker 3: That's right. I was really upset about it. I mean,
Speaker 3: he's all upset you stabbed me, But I'm the one
Speaker 3: who didn't get the burger. That's true.
Speaker 2: I suppose that is not cons not the greatest customer service.
Speaker 2: I suppose no.
Speaker 3: It's a terrible customer service.
Speaker 2: Now, Couco you you you you know you you fancy
Speaker 2: yourself a king.
Speaker 3: That's why, of course I am.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm curious your in your search for burgers. Have
Speaker 2: you considered burger king?
Speaker 3: I have thought about it, but you know, I've just
Speaker 3: thought it brings up too many questions, such as, well,
Speaker 3: you know, is the burger king? Who are the burger
Speaker 3: king subjects? Is the burger king? The king of burgers?
Speaker 3: It's not very king, No, not a good king, just
Speaker 3: being the king of burgars. Burgers cannot do anything for you.
Speaker 3: They can, you can collect taxes from burgars.
Speaker 5: They won't bout.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's right, that they don't even genuflect.
Speaker 2: I suppose that's true. And so what would the alternative
Speaker 2: be a king made of burgers.
Speaker 3: Well that I thought of that too, But I don't
Speaker 3: really want to be made of burgers right now. I
Speaker 3: am made of muscle, and you know, skin and bones
Speaker 3: and Arthuris and hell and various things. I like being
Speaker 3: made of those things. I don't want to be made
Speaker 3: of burgers because if I'm made of burgers, then how
Speaker 3: I swing my sword?
Speaker 5: You would be too greasy?
Speaker 3: That's correct.
Speaker 2: I mean you're already kind of great. I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't get don't take it the wrong way, but you
Speaker 2: you g listen, you listen what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 3: It's the grease, of course, I do you not know?
Speaker 3: This is a very big difference between the.
Speaker 5: Bad greasy and the good grease.
Speaker 3: Exactly, being of course in the bad Great Viad sometimes yummy,
Speaker 3: but mostly when compared to the king. No, it's not
Speaker 3: a groase for king.
Speaker 2: I don't. I mean, I'm not that familiar with good greecesus.
Speaker 2: I mean Greece one good, Greece two not good.
Speaker 3: Well, that's true, you know, because the kings over the years,
Speaker 3: if they were made with grease too, that's the bad.
Speaker 3: It doesn't go very well, that's true Bog that was
Speaker 3: made had.
Speaker 5: The bad grease King Bog, King.
Speaker 3: Bog of Bogland.
Speaker 2: I'm really I'm not familiar.
Speaker 3: Well, you probably never heard of King Bag because he's
Speaker 3: but I did. Didn't show up in the random list
Speaker 3: of various things. And also because King Bog was always
Speaker 3: coded in bad grease. No one wants to remember King
Speaker 3: Bog smelled bad and was he swings his sword and
Speaker 3: it just we go right out of his hands.
Speaker 2: Yes, hard to hold onto your kingdom that way.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's exactly the problem.
Speaker 3: It's yes, girl of mine, it's it's good.
Speaker 2: Never mind, Well, for those of you who are tuning
Speaker 2: in for the first time, our hope on this show
Speaker 2: is that Coco will be returning to the big screen
Speaker 2: or perhaps the streaming service, even if he doesn't.
Speaker 3: Know what that is.
Speaker 2: So we're bringing different guests onto the show, getting to
Speaker 2: know them and maybe uh Coco and red Sona will
Speaker 2: invite them to be a part of their new franchise
Speaker 2: plans depends.
Speaker 3: We're a very tough duel over here.
Speaker 2: It's true, so far you've you've not selected anyone at all.
Speaker 3: And uh, Matt, are you talking about yourself again? We
Speaker 3: told you Matt. We kind of have a girl man
Speaker 3: on the table.
Speaker 2: It's girly and I just want the producer credit. I've
Speaker 2: said that many times. I don't need to go on
Speaker 2: the adventures. I don't need to be in the adventures,
Speaker 2: but a producer credit would.
Speaker 5: Really do you keep talking about produce? Wet all is
Speaker 5: meat and bread, Yes, and liquor.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 5: We don't need.
Speaker 3: Pro we always have. We already have a meat mongo,
Speaker 3: we already have a liquor mango, and we already have
Speaker 3: well the in and out.
Speaker 5: Maybe we need news, that's true.
Speaker 3: I hadn't thought of that. In and out what's going
Speaker 3: to be?
Speaker 2: But we don't need you, don't you know what. I'm
Speaker 2: not going to bring any protos to the table, but
Speaker 2: let's see what our guest for today brings to the table.
Speaker 2: I'm really I don't know if excited is the word,
Speaker 2: but with us today is the legendary understudy Larry Hastings. Larry, Yes, sir, Hello,
Speaker 2: thank you. This is Larry Hastings, a base baritone, and
Speaker 2: I am effervescent to be Coco the Barbarians. Uh oh line, friend, yeah, yes, friend, friend,
Speaker 2: I am effervescent to be Coco, The Barbarians Friend.
Speaker 3: Hello, Well, effervescence seems pretty good. There's any any Is
Speaker 3: that related to Greece in any way?
Speaker 2: I once, very controversially I played Frenchy in a dinner
Speaker 2: theater production of Grease. I thought it was very good.
Speaker 3: That was it the good grease or the bad grease?
Speaker 5: Well, he said French, So he must have been a
Speaker 5: French fry.
Speaker 3: That's oh okay, that's a good you know. I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's a little on the fence in terms of good
Speaker 3: or bad grease, could go either way.
Speaker 2: I've never played a French fry. I did want spend
Speaker 2: an entire summer playing mister Pibb at a children's amusement park.
Speaker 3: And mister pib is mister Evangela. Then mister pib carry
Speaker 3: an axe or a flell.
Speaker 2: He had a straw coming out of his head.
Speaker 3: He's a cup of soda. It doesn't sound.
Speaker 5: Very very good for stabbing.
Speaker 2: Well, stabbing the children was frowned upon. They made that
Speaker 2: very clean.
Speaker 3: Well, I suppose you don't usually stab the children, but
Speaker 3: sometimes you need to stab the children.
Speaker 5: Misters baritone, we will not hinder your creative energy.
Speaker 2: Well, I can't tell you how refreshing that is to hear. Yes,
Speaker 2: because I I've made most of my career as an understudy,
Speaker 2: meaning I sort of have to copy what other people
Speaker 2: have done, and I really feel that it's limited my
Speaker 2: range range.
Speaker 3: And I suppose you have to do it underneath something.
Speaker 3: You do it under a table where you do the
Speaker 3: studying that is underneath, make.
Speaker 5: It harder to fit with the straw coming out of
Speaker 5: your head.
Speaker 2: The straw, Well, that is a rare case. While I
Speaker 2: was not understanding, but I indeed originated that role as mister.
Speaker 2: But when I'm understudying, well, sometimes I'm under a table,
Speaker 2: I must admit. But other times I'm on the couch
Speaker 2: or walking or standing. Sometimes I'm pretending to be in
Speaker 2: a car. I once did Oklahoma on a pantomime horse.
Speaker 3: That interesting. I like to get on a horse myself. Sometimes,
Speaker 3: very rarely do.
Speaker 2: They let you work with live animals such as a
Speaker 2: horse on the stage, maybe a dog. If you're lucky,
Speaker 2: you'll do Gypsy with a sheep.
Speaker 3: I understand how you feel that. Won't even let me
Speaker 3: bring my sword in here.
Speaker 2: Well, that's that's a front, sir, That is yes, who
Speaker 2: is preventing this man from his his props.
Speaker 3: I don't know, Matt girly man, who is preventing me?
Speaker 3: If I'm bringing in here.
Speaker 2: It's building security, Coco. You can't bring actual These are
Speaker 2: not prop weapons, these are actual sharp.
Speaker 5: Wat's his sword. We will all be more secure.
Speaker 2: Trouble he'll just I always say, look for the good
Speaker 2: guy with the swords.
Speaker 3: That's good. The eyes, I mean sometimes you have to
Speaker 3: look for them so that you can fight them.
Speaker 2: You have to fight the other good guys.
Speaker 3: Sometimes, you know, you gotta be fo I've been there.
Speaker 5: Let me tell you, how else will you get to
Speaker 5: the top.
Speaker 2: I've played Laertes seventeen times.
Speaker 3: Oh, what did you play with Lealtes?
Speaker 2: No? I well, I inhabited the role. I became Leartes. Ah.
Speaker 3: I once did that with the bear a bear. Yes,
Speaker 3: I killed it and then I wore it's cold, and
Speaker 3: I inhabited the bear.
Speaker 2: My goodness. Ah, you know I've been pitching for many
Speaker 2: years a stage production of the Revenant. I think I
Speaker 2: would be great as the bear.
Speaker 3: Ah. Yes, very good. Well, you have to kill a
Speaker 3: bear first and then you can wear it skin.
Speaker 2: I'm not much of a hunter, I must admit.
Speaker 3: Will you know that's okay. There's many different raw os
Speaker 3: that can be played in an adventuring parties that rights on.
Speaker 5: The Yes, there's a hunter, but there's also hmm, the
Speaker 5: car carry our stuff so that we can.
Speaker 2: Do stabic have a lot. I'm sorry, I must, I
Speaker 2: must draw the line there. I am no gopher. I
Speaker 2: have well passed the point.
Speaker 5: Will stab all the gophers if they bother you?
Speaker 2: No, I I am no one's carry boy.
Speaker 3: Ah. That's what I said before too, when they told
Speaker 3: me in the in and outs that I should take
Speaker 3: my stuff and live, I said, I'm not the carry boy.
Speaker 3: They're not carrying my own stuff except for my sword
Speaker 3: that carry that.
Speaker 2: See. I think your mistake there was you just should
Speaker 2: have specified that you wanted to dine in. Ah. Yes,
Speaker 2: Otherwise they they assume you wanted to go. And let
Speaker 2: me tell you, I don't know if this is how
Speaker 2: happened to you, but I've been in many and in
Speaker 2: and out and you forget to say this is for here,
Speaker 2: and they give it to you in a bag, and
Speaker 2: you're like, well, I don't have anywhere to go. I
Speaker 2: don't have a car or a house or a horse,
Speaker 2: and so I want to eat here. So I take
Speaker 2: my to go bag and I sit at one of
Speaker 2: the many booths, and then the manager comes sir, this
Speaker 2: is for dining only. Well, I want to dine in,
Speaker 2: but you've got it to go bag, you must go.
Speaker 2: It's very frustrating.
Speaker 3: That does sounds very frustrating. I myself had issues within
Speaker 3: and out. I feel that they do not like people
Speaker 3: do things that they want to do. They're like the cows, go.
Speaker 5: In and go out.
Speaker 2: Honestly, if they're going to be that strict about it
Speaker 2: should be called in or out.
Speaker 3: That's what I should call it.
Speaker 5: And swords only out.
Speaker 3: Matthew, look like you had something you wanted to say
Speaker 3: about this.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I think that one. I think bringing
Speaker 2: swords in to in in and out or really any
Speaker 2: fast food chain not a great idea. Not a great idea.
Speaker 5: I find that they tend to serve much faster.
Speaker 2: Well that might be the case, but I think you know,
Speaker 2: the people in the in and out typically not your enemies.
Speaker 2: No need to slaughter them. They just want to give
Speaker 2: you a burger and a shake. And I by shake
Speaker 2: I mean a frosty beverage, not They don't actually want
Speaker 2: to physically shake you.
Speaker 3: Well, that's good because I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: Let I believe me. I know they would have.
Speaker 3: A hard time. I'm very greasy.
Speaker 2: Yes, now let me ask you because I have to say, Coco.
Speaker 2: Seeing you in person, you remind me of a young
Speaker 2: bed middler, and she taught me a great secret. I
Speaker 2: wonder if the secret is one that you have as well.
Speaker 2: Peanut oil head to toe before you go on stage.
Speaker 2: Just it just gives you.
Speaker 3: A glisten Peanut oil is in fact, what is that
Speaker 3: on your list, sona of the good oils?
Speaker 5: It's on the list of the okay oils. Some places
Speaker 5: say you can't have peanuts.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's true. You must be careful as so many
Speaker 2: people are allergic nowadays.
Speaker 5: And you know, if we're going to pick peanut oil
Speaker 5: or swords, obviously we're choosing the sword.
Speaker 3: Well that's true. Yes, sometimes you have to choose one
Speaker 3: of the other. But I'll give you my list of
Speaker 3: good oils. You can not. The oil might be towards
Speaker 3: the bottom, but it's there.
Speaker 5: But it's still good, just not just not.
Speaker 3: Right. And I don't know what kind of sword and
Speaker 3: Love was carrying. Maybe there was a you know, one
Speaker 3: that the peanut oil goes well with But you know,
Speaker 3: sometimes people have sort sword allergies that they have to
Speaker 3: have a certain kind of.
Speaker 5: Accidents.
Speaker 2: Seem to recall she was deathly allergic to the rapier.
Speaker 2: I do seem, yes, then I could. But the other
Speaker 2: thing about Bet, and let me tell you, I can
Speaker 2: tell this is absolutely you must have Bet on the show.
Speaker 2: You must have Bet on the show, because when I
Speaker 2: was touring with Beth back in the day, I think
Speaker 2: not not a performance went by that she didn't slit someone,
Speaker 2: you know, uh, navel to head and just wear the skin.
Speaker 5: Girly man. Why have we not had her on the
Speaker 5: show yet?
Speaker 2: Well, she's she's very she's a difficult book, as they say.
Speaker 2: Really she only you know, Bets sort of done what
Speaker 2: Bet needs to do, and you know.
Speaker 5: She then let her come and join a new quest.
Speaker 3: That's true. Slitting someone's from the navel up into the mouth.
Speaker 3: That checks off like ten things on our list, looking like.
Speaker 2: I'll see, but you know her and straisand sort of reclusive,
Speaker 2: but I'll do my best, I promise.
Speaker 3: And allergic Danny swords.
Speaker 2: Probably all of them. Probably maybe you're not going to
Speaker 2: get her to leave the house. You're gonna have to
Speaker 2: go to her anywhere.
Speaker 3: Yes, But you know what you know the.
Speaker 2: Interesting about Strisand she has a whole underground city under
Speaker 2: her house. Yes it's it's a private shopping mall.
Speaker 3: The private shopping mall underneath the house.
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, it's quite legendary. And also she clones.
Speaker 3: All her dogs to eat them.
Speaker 2: No, I think just to cuddle them.
Speaker 3: I don't think we need the house, but I would
Speaker 3: like to inquire about the underground layer. You know, any
Speaker 3: dungeons in there?
Speaker 2: I think. I think all you have to do is
Speaker 2: ask Jane rolling about that, if you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Oh need do? I really?
Speaker 3: So? Lali? I want to Now you know why there
Speaker 3: are the sort of projects that you're working on these days?
Speaker 3: What's exciting in your life?
Speaker 2: Well, the truth is I've not worked in some time.
Speaker 2: There was a incident with one of the Ulsen twins
Speaker 2: that's sort of gotten me banned from around down But
Speaker 2: I am. I have got a couple of engagements coming up.
Speaker 3: I will be uh.
Speaker 2: I will be reprising my role of mister Pibb once
Speaker 2: again this summer at Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom in Allentown. Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2: You can find me at the Freshman stand by steel Force.
Speaker 3: Ah, steel Force was the name of a previous sword
Speaker 3: that I had.
Speaker 2: Really, Yes, perhaps it's this roller coaster forged from the steel.
Speaker 3: Of your steel force. Well, it might be I lost
Speaker 3: steel Force when I was slaying a wild boar.
Speaker 5: What was this kingdom you were talking.
Speaker 2: About, the wild Water Kingdom.
Speaker 3: That sounds like maybe it's the same wild boar wild war.
Speaker 3: I bet that's what it wins.
Speaker 2: You did say you wanted to conquer streaming coincidence, this
Speaker 2: might be the place to start.
Speaker 5: The wild Water Kingdom.
Speaker 2: It's more of a wavepool.
Speaker 3: Interesting.
Speaker 5: I think there's something here though.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'll go to the people and I'll wave with them,
Speaker 3: you know, I pool and maybe they would tell me
Speaker 3: of my sword.
Speaker 2: Well, if you're looking for a good time, I do
Speaker 2: get two guest passes per week. They're only good after
Speaker 2: five o'clock. But please let's let me know. I'd be
Speaker 2: happy to pass you in.
Speaker 3: Well, this is good that we like people who have
Speaker 3: resources and power.
Speaker 5: You can be are are entranceman.
Speaker 3: That's true. We do need an entrance man. And I
Speaker 3: was just saying that when we walked into the in and.
Speaker 5: Out somebody to open doors.
Speaker 2: Well again, I feel like an actor of my stature
Speaker 2: has doors opened for him. I don't open doors for others.
Speaker 3: You already have an entry person, Well, typically it's the
Speaker 3: stage manager, you know.
Speaker 2: They they're very handy. If you don't have a stage
Speaker 2: manager on your little party, I think that's something you
Speaker 2: should look into right away. They're very good at giving
Speaker 2: you your cues, telling who when to move, telling you
Speaker 2: when a light's about to fall on your head when
Speaker 2: that happens more often than I'd like to admit. And
Speaker 2: of course they're very good at reminding you of your lines. Lines.
Speaker 3: All right, Matt, write that down. We need a stage
Speaker 3: manager for our group.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's definitely. It's on the list, Coco, It's
Speaker 2: it's on the list.
Speaker 3: Good, okay, okay. Song on. What questions do you have
Speaker 3: for Larry?
Speaker 5: Well, let's see, Larry, have you ever had to fight
Speaker 5: a mountain goat with your bare hands once?
Speaker 2: Once?
Speaker 3: How did it go?
Speaker 2: Not great?
Speaker 3: Not great?
Speaker 2: But let me tell you that was.
Speaker 3: The mountain goat. It was you.
Speaker 2: It was the wildest production of sound of music I've
Speaker 2: ever been in. I was playing Captain von Trapp and
Speaker 2: It was very experimental production. We were doing it on
Speaker 2: location in Austria, and so there we were on the
Speaker 2: hill with this lonely I've heard this lonely goat herd,
Speaker 2: and let me tell you, you would think when the music starts,
Speaker 2: the goats are going to be like all into it.
Speaker 2: It really frightened them, and it kicked poor Julie Andrews
Speaker 2: right in the gut.
Speaker 3: And I dove in.
Speaker 2: I dove in to protect my my dear Jules as
Speaker 2: I call her. We go way back, Jules and I
Speaker 2: and uh that goat herd and I we locked horns
Speaker 2: and we we ran.
Speaker 5: The entire horn.
Speaker 2: Well I wouldn't know.
Speaker 3: It was just me and the leader.
Speaker 2: You could tell he was the leader to get the
Speaker 2: biggest horn.
Speaker 3: That's smart.
Speaker 2: And unfortunately I don't remember much. About six months later,
Speaker 2: I woke up in the hospital. Julie Andrews by the way,
Speaker 2: nowhere to be seen there. I oh, she was here,
Speaker 2: but then you know, she had to go make a movie.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, sure, sure, Jules. It's all
Speaker 2: it's all peaches and cream when it's late at night
Speaker 2: in a lonely Austrian hotel. But when things get tough
Speaker 2: and old Larry's in a coma for six months.
Speaker 3: Off your pop is Juliangelo's alert Danny Swords. You know,
Speaker 3: I've never asked, now, did you get the goat skin to?
Speaker 2: Did you do Camelot?
Speaker 5: Did you make a crown with his horns?
Speaker 2: Well, I don't really know.
Speaker 5: Did you make a goblet from his skull?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: Again, I none of it. I'm not. I'm sad to
Speaker 2: say I was not the victor in this story.
Speaker 3: This is all remark for you and the Oh dear,
Speaker 3: sorry to say it, but you know, goats are sort
Speaker 3: of like.
Speaker 2: The It's very basically.
Speaker 3: The basic one. The sort of level one of killing
Speaker 3: and wearing the skins is the goats.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is beat Miller all over again. You know,
Speaker 2: fighting goats not really my thing. Although have you had
Speaker 2: Matthew McConaughey on, because I think that's his thing.
Speaker 3: Well, I would have to get them on, girly man,
Speaker 3: add him to the list. That's right. Anyone, anyone who
Speaker 3: fights goats can come on the showers level one. So
Speaker 3: if you can do it, you can come on.
Speaker 2: But my many talents are theatrical nature. Perhaps you would
Speaker 2: need a sluk. We done or a song sang something
Speaker 2: in the bass baritone range.
Speaker 3: Perhaps, well, we do have an opening for a fool.
Speaker 5: Yes we do, we do a fool.
Speaker 3: Eh that's why I sometimes you want.
Speaker 5: To have one a gesture.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's important for your party to have one, because
Speaker 3: you what you do is when you are say you're
Speaker 3: going to be attacking a number of goats, you have
Speaker 3: the fool go stand on the other side and they
Speaker 3: wave around, and the goats's tracked while you come out.
Speaker 3: But you saw it. Then you cut the coats in half.
Speaker 5: And then in the evening when you're drinking from your
Speaker 5: new goat goblets, you need a little entertainment.
Speaker 3: Oh I love it though, Remember that, remember that Jester
Speaker 3: that we had Harelton Harton Harlton was great.
Speaker 2: What what happened to this Harlton?
Speaker 3: Did he?
Speaker 2: Did he get a spin off? Did he get his
Speaker 2: own show?
Speaker 3: Harlton did get his spin off? It span his head
Speaker 3: ride off his shoulders by accident. Yeah, he spawn. I
Speaker 3: was swinging my sword around sort of showing Halt and
Speaker 3: how it worked, and Halton stepped a little two claws.
Speaker 2: So you would be both the star and director of
Speaker 2: this little project.
Speaker 3: Is that?
Speaker 2: What I'm inferring.
Speaker 5: He's the king.
Speaker 3: That's all right. I'm the king, So I do direct people.
Speaker 3: I tell him to go and get my pheasant, and
Speaker 3: you know, different things. But I also what was the
Speaker 3: other thing you said? Direct and something else?
Speaker 2: A star? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes, well right, of.
Speaker 5: Course the king is the son of his king.
Speaker 3: That's why. Yes, so I shine very brightly.
Speaker 2: Well, you certainly certainly listen.
Speaker 3: That's what I do. It's a good grease. The first
Speaker 3: thing in the now.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that Michelle Fiffer won't
Speaker 2: be involved in this. We have a thing. Well, I
Speaker 2: have played the fool once or twice, so if you
Speaker 2: would be willing to have me, well, I would be
Speaker 2: more than happy to come on board.
Speaker 3: I think that. Well, the son and I are going
Speaker 3: to quicker.
Speaker 5: We'll think about it.
Speaker 3: That's why I do think about it, decide, maybe.
Speaker 5: Have some some burgers.
Speaker 3: So the son and I are going to have a
Speaker 3: quick conference to decide. Yeah, I think the out said, Oh, I.
Speaker 5: Mean I think he won't even spend that much.
Speaker 3: But that's true. I don't know, but but it would
Speaker 3: be good to have a fool. I really miss how I.
Speaker 5: Know, I know.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 5: He said he won't carry anything.
Speaker 3: That's true. I do like to make the fool carry
Speaker 3: things fall down sometimes.
Speaker 2: Oh dear, my pants seem to have fallen down.
Speaker 3: I tell you why, Larry, You're welcome to the team.
Speaker 2: Call oh, this is a wonderful Shall we discuss my fee?
Speaker 3: Yeh you mean feet?
Speaker 5: We do you have two of them?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: It's my fools are so far forget what's on my
Speaker 2: contractual fee? Will this be sag minimum? Perhaps a little
Speaker 2: bit more? Larry hasn't worked in a while, could really
Speaker 2: use that health insurance.
Speaker 5: Well, if you feel like you're sagging, we can get
Speaker 5: you a belt.
Speaker 3: It's through Matt.
Speaker 2: What do you think we can definitely get him a belt?
Speaker 2: In fact, I insist on it, Larry obviously. If this
Speaker 2: moved forward, will be in touch. Are you with CIA?
Speaker 2: Are you with WMA? I represent myself currently, so just
Speaker 2: give me a ring a ding? You have my number.
Speaker 2: It's the it's the payphone outside, the in and out.
Speaker 2: But no one ever said being an actor was easy.
Speaker 2: And I'm out here trying to make it on my
Speaker 2: own in Hollywood after many a theatrical exploit, and it's
Speaker 2: not been the easiest time for old Larry, so I
Speaker 2: would really I will work for a belt. True, well,
Speaker 2: loud fantastic.
Speaker 3: That's great that we're going to get you a belt
Speaker 3: and also have some bells on it and saw.
Speaker 5: Some shoes for his feet.
Speaker 3: That's that you forgot about.
Speaker 2: You too have made me the happiest man in the world.
Speaker 3: That's of good fool, happy fool, happy life.
Speaker 2: That's okay, sorry, just one uh one final question?
Speaker 3: Yes, do you validate parking? Well? What did you think?
Speaker 1: That was the most juvenile, nonsensical and base thing I
Speaker 1: have ever heard? You have got to get me on
Speaker 1: that podcast.
Speaker 2: Cocoa the Barbarian Needs a Friend was created, produced and
Speaker 2: edited by J. Michael DeAngelis, Music and sound effects by
Speaker 2: Pete Barry. Executive producers Pete Barry, J Michael deangel John Dawkin,
Speaker 2: and Paige Glenecki. This is a completely real celebrity interview podcast,
Speaker 2: but if it weren't, then Cocoa the Barbarian and Gary
Speaker 2: were played by Bob Killian red Sona was played by
Speaker 2: Ashley Banks. Larry Hastings was played by J. Michael D'Angelis.
Speaker 2: Special guest star Dave Stanger played Bowden Moncrief, I'm Matt
Speaker 2: Gurley and definitely no one else. This has been a
Speaker 2: port Room production. Copyright twenty twenty five Extraordinary Missions Limited.
Speaker 3: Another quality podcast from the port Room.