WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:06.839 From Workhouse Connect and aj Benza fame. Uh he'd liked 2 00:00:06.839 --> 00:00:09.119 to be walked on a leash and play really dirty, 3 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:12.240 kinky sex games. He is, uh the guy put the 4 00:00:12.279 --> 00:00:17.679 cock in the Peacock network. Okay, bitch, hey everybody, aj 5 00:00:17.839 --> 00:00:19.960 Benzi here with famous a bitch. This is your daily 6 00:00:20.039 --> 00:00:23.679 Unfiltered podcast for July twenty ninth, twenty twenty six seven 7 00:00:24.679 --> 00:00:29.640 two two six. A couple of odd numbers. You know, 8 00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:37.840 I hate him and today was a day of volcano 9 00:00:38.679 --> 00:00:43.600 shit all over me. I don't know how to begin 10 00:00:43.719 --> 00:00:46.840 this fucking show, but I'm going to begin it. And 11 00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:50.159 remember I'm doing it even though the news is not great, 12 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:54.000 but this is I'm committed how much I love you guys, 13 00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:58.000 and how much to show means to me. So I've 14 00:00:58.039 --> 00:01:00.280 had a toothache for a long time, an upward upper 15 00:01:01.079 --> 00:01:03.640 jaw to the left, and it's getting worse and worse. 16 00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:06.640 So Rosie said, you know, go to my dentist. He's great. 17 00:01:07.879 --> 00:01:10.359 Let say, yeah, I want to fix these front teeth too. 18 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:11.760 You know, I hate the way it looks. She goes, 19 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:15.159 I'll lay out the money for you, you know, God bless her. 20 00:01:15.239 --> 00:01:17.159 I don't even like that idea. But I go. Look, 21 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:19.480 she had to go for a cleaning. I said, I'll 22 00:01:19.480 --> 00:01:22.840 go with y'all. Sit with a dentist. Well, sitting with 23 00:01:22.920 --> 00:01:27.480 a dentist, great guy, great dentists and great dental assistant. 24 00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:30.400 Took you know, one hundred fucking X rays. Then some 25 00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:33.760 plastic thing got shoved in my mouth and they take 26 00:01:33.879 --> 00:01:38.519 like a three D image of your every tooth, every root. 27 00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:41.319 And by the way, let me just say this right now. 28 00:01:41.640 --> 00:01:44.599 I will never force a woman to go down on 29 00:01:44.719 --> 00:01:48.439 me because I never had something seven inches long in 30 00:01:48.480 --> 00:01:51.079 the back of my throat. It's the most uncomfortable thing. 31 00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:53.439 Porn stars make it look like this is great. I 32 00:01:53.480 --> 00:01:58.280 love it, even ex girlfriends, even wives or boyfriends or husbands. 33 00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:01.079 But don't ever ask me to take anything bigger than 34 00:02:01.120 --> 00:02:05.000 three inches in my mouth. This was I'm gagging. I 35 00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:08.080 have a gag reflex. I'm not Linda Lovelace. I can't. 36 00:02:08.439 --> 00:02:10.240 Every time the dentists got called, I had to shove 37 00:02:10.280 --> 00:02:13.240 him off. But in a nice way. What point is this, Yeah, 38 00:02:13.319 --> 00:02:17.080 you need a root canoun? Okay, I know you're doing 39 00:02:17.080 --> 00:02:18.960 the whole mouth, but I'm not here for that because 40 00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:20.639 I don't have the money for the whole mouth. Just 41 00:02:20.759 --> 00:02:23.719 what can we do to the front four teeth? Well, 42 00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:26.479 we got to do things in order. Bupah bah bah, Okay, 43 00:02:26.599 --> 00:02:30.080 I let him do his thing. Great guy, I'll send 44 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:32.080 that out a pay you know, we'll send you what 45 00:02:32.159 --> 00:02:36.159 a good cost and this, and then what about the implant? Well, 46 00:02:36.199 --> 00:02:38.120 well that's got to go through an oral surgeon. Then 47 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:40.319 I work with He's great, he's ten minutes away. The 48 00:02:40.360 --> 00:02:44.520 guy's twenty five years. Okay, let's talk turkey. Now, Doc, 49 00:02:45.080 --> 00:02:47.520 what's the price of you know, implants in the front 50 00:02:48.039 --> 00:02:51.000 thirty thousand? But if you do this way, the real 51 00:02:51.080 --> 00:02:53.840 properate sixty thousand. I said, okay, forget it. I forget. 52 00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:56.039 I'm not going to put another extension on your house. 53 00:02:56.360 --> 00:03:00.000 This is ridiculous. I have no dental insurance, so let's 54 00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:03.319 just work on the root canal. Tooth calls me back. 55 00:03:03.800 --> 00:03:06.639 It's a root canal fifteen hundred up front and then 56 00:03:06.680 --> 00:03:09.159 eighteen hundred for the crown or cap, whatever the hell 57 00:03:09.199 --> 00:03:11.960 they use. I said, nope, nope, not doing it. What 58 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:14.439 else can we do? We could pull it? Good, let's 59 00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:17.560 pull it. Okay, Well, we'll make an appointment. I'm gonna 60 00:03:17.599 --> 00:03:20.759 give antibiotics before that that's a whole you know, dentists 61 00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:22.280 are they get you in to share and they're thinking 62 00:03:22.280 --> 00:03:24.520 of the next cruise they got to take, especially with 63 00:03:24.599 --> 00:03:28.919 no insurance. But he's again, nice guy, can't complain. He 64 00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:32.680 did everything top notch, great instruments, great, I mean, just 65 00:03:32.919 --> 00:03:35.639 a great guy. So it's not his fault. It's just 66 00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:40.120 the way things are now in dentistry. It's become insane. 67 00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:42.159 I don't even know how many of you have good 68 00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:45.960 insurance that covers dental work, but we all know dental 69 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:50.680 work might as well be plastic surgery. It's beyond comprehension 70 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:55.719 with things thirty thousand dollars to I know, guys just 71 00:03:55.759 --> 00:03:58.919 spent forty grand for all new teeth, uppers and lowers. 72 00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:02.639 Why is his thirty grand for the front floor? My sisters, 73 00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:06.080 God bless her. You know, I want to see you 74 00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:07.879 back on TV. I said, well, I'm not with this 75 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:10.280 fucking mouth. I can't. I'm gonna I'll blay it out. 76 00:04:10.319 --> 00:04:12.680 Don't worry about it. Because she got some money from 77 00:04:12.759 --> 00:04:15.039 Jack Doney just to check, just to arrive today. It's 78 00:04:15.080 --> 00:04:17.319 not the most money in the world, and that's all 79 00:04:17.399 --> 00:04:20.240 she has to hinge Your hopes on going forward beyond 80 00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:24.079 Social Security. So I'm like, I'm not taking that money 81 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:26.000 from you, Rosie. I can't do this. Fuck it. I'm 82 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:29.879 gonna darb with the teeth I have. Okay, So that ends. 83 00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:32.399 I said, I gotta go to the bank. I gotta 84 00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:34.439 write my rent check and over the night to the 85 00:04:34.519 --> 00:04:38.120 landlord and Los Angeles will go to. As we're driving there, 86 00:04:38.160 --> 00:04:40.519 I got a text from Bank of America. Did you 87 00:04:40.600 --> 00:04:44.040 authorize this charge at Walmart for four hundred and fifty dollars? 88 00:04:44.040 --> 00:04:47.480 I says no. The bank calls me. At least I 89 00:04:47.519 --> 00:04:51.079 thought it was the bank because it happened immediately, and 90 00:04:51.319 --> 00:04:53.040 this guy's talking to me. I'm like, yeah, I didn't 91 00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:55.920 authorized It's okay, mister Ben's and we're going through the 92 00:04:55.920 --> 00:04:58.079 whole thing. Rosie's right next to me. The guy was 93 00:04:58.120 --> 00:05:01.800 so smooth and so good. He was going like jumping 94 00:05:01.879 --> 00:05:04.240 your Bank of America app and this and that, and 95 00:05:04.519 --> 00:05:09.839 I see there's some cash apps withdrawals. I said, no, 96 00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:13.319 I didn't send anybody cash. No, that's not me. There's 97 00:05:13.319 --> 00:05:16.040 one for fourteen hundred, one for a thousand, another one 98 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:20.279 for a thousand, one for five hundred. I'm like, no, 99 00:05:20.279 --> 00:05:22.959 none of this is me. I'll on to fix mister 100 00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:24.560 Ben's and we're gonna get this scull and we're gonna 101 00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:26.519 get the money back in your account. So he's getting 102 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:30.560 me through the RIGAMA role was thirty two minute phone call. Now, 103 00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:32.639 I know your account only says you have five hundred 104 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:35.600 in your account, but there's more. Believe me, when you 105 00:05:35.639 --> 00:05:38.160 go to your branch, you'll see that they have the amount. 106 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:41.000 All right. You know, gave me his name, his employer. 107 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:45.639 I d everything was, you know, on the up and up. 108 00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:49.040 I should have said immediately, why isn't your numbers say 109 00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:51.079 Bank of America, But you know, I don't know. People 110 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:54.439 call it they always, you know, get help from other 111 00:05:54.720 --> 00:05:58.319 places in the world America. I don't know. So I 112 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:02.480 listened to the guy if very professional, and apparently he 113 00:06:02.600 --> 00:06:07.040 took four thousand dollars away from me. That's it. I 114 00:06:07.079 --> 00:06:10.720 have five hundred dollars left. Okay, I'm giving you personal information. 115 00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:13.959 And then he says, we're gonna we're gonna take your 116 00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:16.800 debit card. You can still use it in Chicago and La. 117 00:06:16.839 --> 00:06:19.439 I know you're in Chicago now, but you know, once 118 00:06:19.480 --> 00:06:22.600 the new card comes, I'm extraditing it. You'll be able 119 00:06:22.639 --> 00:06:25.199 to you know, the new car will be worked. Okay, fine, 120 00:06:25.319 --> 00:06:28.279 I've been through this before. I've been through fraud three 121 00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:31.720 times since June. So I thought this is insane, you know. 122 00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:35.240 Then I go through care, I go to the bank. No, sir, 123 00:06:35.279 --> 00:06:38.519 you only have five what maybe it takes more time. 124 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:41.399 At the same time, I got to get my paperwork 125 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:43.879 notarized for my pension. I'm sorry, I'm laying this all. 126 00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:46.079 Let me just I gotta begin with this because this 127 00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:48.720 whole oh I didn't tell you this. By the way, Oh, 128 00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:51.680 by the way, on top of the teeth X rays, 129 00:06:52.319 --> 00:06:54.160 they're going way in the back of my throat with 130 00:06:54.199 --> 00:06:59.160 this wand and I'm gagging. But the dentist says, there's 131 00:06:59.199 --> 00:07:03.680 a lesion on the upper palette of your mouth, right 132 00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:07.040 before your throat. That's red. It's like a strawberry color. 133 00:07:07.079 --> 00:07:09.639 It's like a it's like as big as two peas. 134 00:07:10.639 --> 00:07:12.360 I said, what does that mean? I said, I don't 135 00:07:12.399 --> 00:07:14.600 have any paint. He goes, well, you know it's not 136 00:07:14.680 --> 00:07:16.920 a good thing. It's we got to investigate it. Go 137 00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:20.000 to an emails and throat guy. Here's a prescription. You know, 138 00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:23.360 make sure you're referral to the emails. Okay, I know 139 00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:25.560 that's gonna be five six hundred just to see this 140 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:28.879 fucking guy. I'm not gonna I said, Can it be cancer? 141 00:07:28.920 --> 00:07:32.360 He goes, yeah, it could be normally cancers white, but 142 00:07:32.439 --> 00:07:36.480 it can begin pink and then slowly go Okay, great, 143 00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:38.639 So mouth cancer's on the table. He goes, well, let's 144 00:07:38.680 --> 00:07:42.519 not get ahead of things, but let's just investigate it now. 145 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:44.240 I don't want to hear by root canals. I don't 146 00:07:44.240 --> 00:07:47.160 want to hear about anything cleanings. Fuck it. If I'm 147 00:07:47.160 --> 00:07:49.920 gonna die of mouth cancer, then let's just get on that. 148 00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:54.199 But so there comes the fraud phone call. Now I 149 00:07:54.240 --> 00:07:56.279 go to the bank. No, sir, here's only five hundred 150 00:07:56.240 --> 00:07:58.800 bucks your account. What. I'll give it some more time. 151 00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:01.480 In the meantime, let me get this is paperwork for 152 00:08:01.639 --> 00:08:06.319 my pension notarized. I present the paperwork. The lady goes, oh, 153 00:08:06.360 --> 00:08:08.120 you're already signed it. You gotta sign it in front 154 00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:10.560 of me. I'm sorry, can we wipe it out? No, 155 00:08:10.680 --> 00:08:12.120 you got to do it in front of me. How 156 00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:14.519 about my license? This is me I know, but you 157 00:08:14.600 --> 00:08:16.480 got to do it in front of me. Okay, I'll 158 00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:19.120 come back in an hour. We go back home, we 159 00:08:19.240 --> 00:08:21.879 go back to the bank. Here's the form that's got 160 00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:24.879 to be notarized. Well, what's the paperwork before the form. 161 00:08:25.720 --> 00:08:27.759 That's not what they sent me. They just sent me 162 00:08:27.800 --> 00:08:30.759 the form that's got to be notarized. Well I can't notarize. 163 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:33.879 I said, listen, you told me to come back and 164 00:08:33.960 --> 00:08:37.720 not sign my name and not put Los Angeles, California, 165 00:08:37.720 --> 00:08:40.080 because you're gonna do it in Chicago, Illinois. I left 166 00:08:40.080 --> 00:08:42.480 that all blank. No, we told you bring the whole document. 167 00:08:42.559 --> 00:08:45.039 I said, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. Now, Rosea's 168 00:08:45.080 --> 00:08:46.919 going a j let's go, I said no, No one 169 00:08:46.960 --> 00:08:49.080 said bring the whole form. This is bullshit, and the 170 00:08:49.159 --> 00:08:51.840 girl goes, ah, please, I'm nine months pregnant. I don't 171 00:08:51.879 --> 00:08:53.960 need this aggravation. I go, I'm not gonna make you 172 00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:57.559 lose your baby. I'm good, I'm happy you're pregnant. God 173 00:08:57.600 --> 00:08:59.919 bless the baby. But for Christ's sake, this is your job. 174 00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:03.399 Why do you need all the paperwork before the signature form. 175 00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:06.000 No one told me that, Yes, we did, know you did. 176 00:09:06.200 --> 00:09:08.000 Rosie's pulling me out like a drunk at a bar. 177 00:09:08.360 --> 00:09:10.360 All right, I'll come back. I get in the parking line. 178 00:09:10.519 --> 00:09:13.600 I'm not going to see those. Don't get me started. 179 00:09:13.879 --> 00:09:16.879 We go back home and I go back to the 180 00:09:16.919 --> 00:09:20.919 after website. They won't let me find the forms because 181 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:25.039 it's like some kind of bullshit where oh it's invalid. 182 00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:28.000 The RL link is. I don't know. Maybe things disappear 183 00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:31.240 after a few weeks. I don't know. So I gotta 184 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:33.000 call him tomorrow and figure it all out. But this 185 00:09:33.159 --> 00:09:36.639 is the volcano of shit today and tonight. I was 186 00:09:36.639 --> 00:09:39.240 supposed to go on a ride along with Joey on 187 00:09:39.399 --> 00:09:43.480 his rounds as a cop in Lake Zurich, Illinois. Can't 188 00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:46.720 do it because I'm out of my mind. You don't 189 00:09:46.720 --> 00:09:49.279 want to be near me. The root canal tooth is 190 00:09:49.399 --> 00:09:51.919 killing me. He put a temporary filling. It still hurts. 191 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:55.360 I can't chew on that side. This is today, This 192 00:09:55.440 --> 00:10:00.320 is today. But here I am doing the show because 193 00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:03.399 I love his all. Like I always tell you, I'm 194 00:10:03.399 --> 00:10:09.200 not a quitter. Having said that, let me say right now, 195 00:10:09.399 --> 00:10:12.399 I have to admit last week or two weeks ago, 196 00:10:12.440 --> 00:10:16.039 I gave the thumbs down to Life, Liberty and Larry 197 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:19.639 the Larry David Show on HBO. I gave it another 198 00:10:19.639 --> 00:10:21.799 goal because I love his comedy, and I know it's 199 00:10:21.840 --> 00:10:24.879 produced by Baraka Michelle Obama, which pisses me off. But 200 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:28.080 I like Larry David and I saw a few episodes 201 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:30.399 and they were funny. I get his humor. I love 202 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:36.919 his humor. In fact, there was there was one sketch 203 00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:40.559 where it's an old joke of his. They just turned 204 00:10:40.559 --> 00:10:45.759 it into a sketch. But Jonah Salk who got the 205 00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:49.559 vaccine for polio, and the sketch is his mother's hanging 206 00:10:49.639 --> 00:10:52.720 up clothes launched. His Jewish mother's down in the yard 207 00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:55.919 putting clothes on a clothespin. And the neighbor next her, 208 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:59.159 another Jewish old woman, has a son as well, and 209 00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:02.320 Larry David. It's mother who's really Larry David dresten drag? 210 00:11:02.759 --> 00:11:05.440 Did you hear about my son Jonas? He sais a 211 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:08.720 good boy. He got the vaccine for polio. He's curing 212 00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:11.960 the world, my son. And the other woman's like you 213 00:11:12.039 --> 00:11:14.600 told me that last week, whatever name is, Mabel, you 214 00:11:14.679 --> 00:11:18.360 told me, very good. How's your son doing well? My 215 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:24.440 son so fair? My son's the manager Robert Hall suits. 216 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:28.000 That's good. Maybe he can give my son Jonas his suit. 217 00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:31.799 He's always talking in front of Congress. It's crazy. Actually 218 00:11:32.039 --> 00:11:36.240 her name is Dora. Okay, my son didn't make a nickel. 219 00:11:36.600 --> 00:11:39.480 He just wants to make mankind better. It's very funny 220 00:11:39.639 --> 00:11:44.279 two Jewish ladies talking over a fence and arguing. And 221 00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:48.000 it made me remember, I don't know if you guys 222 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:50.759 had this. I know, closed lines with clothespins were a 223 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:53.279 thing back in the day. We had those as well. 224 00:11:53.320 --> 00:11:56.799 But at some point in the backyard of my house, 225 00:11:56.840 --> 00:12:00.679 to the right before the canal, my father mother bought 226 00:12:00.679 --> 00:12:02.720 this thing. It looked like a satellite. It was like 227 00:12:02.759 --> 00:12:05.519 a you know, a piece of metal stuck in the ground. 228 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:10.679 Then like a pentagon pentagram shaped top with a bunch 229 00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:15.080 of plastic. I don't know. Well, you can hang clothes 230 00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:17.559 up with clothes pins and they would dry outside, which 231 00:12:17.639 --> 00:12:20.000 I like. I like clothes drying in the sun. I 232 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:22.879 think that's better than turning on electricity in the dryer, 233 00:12:23.279 --> 00:12:26.879 something you don't need right away. But anyhow, I remember 234 00:12:26.879 --> 00:12:29.840 this thing, this shape. This thing was so oddly shaped. 235 00:12:29.879 --> 00:12:33.200 It looked like that movie District nine, Like what am 236 00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:35.559 I looking at? Like? People could see this when they 237 00:12:35.639 --> 00:12:39.360 drove by a house, did they think, like I know, 238 00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:42.240 in Brooklyn with people like clothes lines from one apartment 239 00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:44.720 to the other. It was very regular. I grew up 240 00:12:44.840 --> 00:12:47.440 like that. But in Long Island, on Long Island, with 241 00:12:47.639 --> 00:12:52.000 this this fucking satellite monster that held like twenty pounds 242 00:12:52.039 --> 00:12:54.840 of clothes. I wish I was old. I was said, man, 243 00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:57.960 don't buy that. What are we doing? But I guess. 244 00:12:58.279 --> 00:13:01.399 I guess because his money was tight. She didn't want 245 00:13:01.399 --> 00:13:05.000 always from the dryer. I don't know, but it's so ugly. 246 00:13:05.080 --> 00:13:06.799 But it made me think of those days of this 247 00:13:07.720 --> 00:13:11.639 horrible thing in the backyard. The other thing in the backyard, 248 00:13:11.639 --> 00:13:14.480 which I think was brilliant, but it is ugly to 249 00:13:14.519 --> 00:13:17.679 look at. I said this before. My father had an 250 00:13:17.720 --> 00:13:22.519 amazing peach tree that bore so much fruit that relatives 251 00:13:22.519 --> 00:13:24.480 came over, friends came by, and we would just give 252 00:13:24.519 --> 00:13:28.080 them peaches because we had peaches everywhere falling on the ground. 253 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:31.600 And Mary made peach muffins, peach pie, peach cobbler. She 254 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:35.559 couldn't stopped the peach by the peach. The juice would 255 00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:42.080 drip down to your elbow. It was delicious. But my 256 00:13:42.159 --> 00:13:44.360 father made his own wine. He made homemade wine in 257 00:13:44.919 --> 00:13:47.919 the garage. He took from the grape barbera. He used 258 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:51.200 the grapes we grew from our house to Rosalie's house, 259 00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:53.399 and he smashed them with his hands, and then they 260 00:13:53.440 --> 00:13:55.559 would bring them to the garage. They'd ferment in these 261 00:13:55.600 --> 00:13:58.799 five gallon bottles, and it was a whole operation, and 262 00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:01.519 we made great red and white wine. My father made 263 00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:04.200 wine at a strawberries. He made wine at a pumpkin. 264 00:14:05.399 --> 00:14:07.600 This is in the seventies when no one was drinking 265 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:09.600 pumpkin wine. My father figured out how to do it, 266 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:16.639 little Albert Einstein. But the peach tree what you could 267 00:14:16.679 --> 00:14:18.759 see from the street, even though it was in the 268 00:14:18.759 --> 00:14:23.720 backyard a side yard. My father ingeniously would take empty 269 00:14:23.720 --> 00:14:27.240 bottles of wine with no labels on it. We'd soak 270 00:14:27.279 --> 00:14:30.559 the bottle, get the label off so it was just naked. 271 00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:33.279 He would take one of the branches of the peach 272 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:34.879 tree that had a little butt on it that was 273 00:14:34.919 --> 00:14:37.840 going to grow into a peach, and he'd push it 274 00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:41.240 down into the bottle. Then duck tape the bottle to 275 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:45.240 a branch. Now, obviously the branch would hang down because 276 00:14:45.240 --> 00:14:49.159 the bottle weighs more than the peach. This happened on 277 00:14:49.240 --> 00:14:53.320 maybe like twelve to fifteen branches. So you drive by 278 00:14:53.360 --> 00:14:55.600 our house in the side yard, if you look to 279 00:14:55.639 --> 00:15:00.000 your right, you would see this horrifyingly scary peach tree 280 00:15:00.080 --> 00:15:02.639 with bottles hanging from it. And the way he did 281 00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:05.360 it was when the peach got big enough past the 282 00:15:05.399 --> 00:15:07.960 neck of the bottle and it was in the full 283 00:15:08.039 --> 00:15:10.919 body of the bottle, he'd cut it. The peach would 284 00:15:10.960 --> 00:15:12.919 fall to the bottom of a bottle. Then he filled 285 00:15:12.919 --> 00:15:15.720 that empty bottle with his homemade wine. So you're drinking 286 00:15:15.799 --> 00:15:19.399 red wine or white wine with a fully developed peach 287 00:15:19.480 --> 00:15:22.360 on the bottom, and you get that juice involved people, 288 00:15:22.759 --> 00:15:25.519 relatives and friends, couldn't get enough of it. And by 289 00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:29.799 the way, it got you drunk quicker than fentanyl. You 290 00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:32.440 it got you feeling good, quicker than any drug you've 291 00:15:32.440 --> 00:15:35.519 ever taken. It was amazing. Matter of fact, when I 292 00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:39.759 was thirteen or so, Christmas Eve dinner, the bottles of 293 00:15:39.799 --> 00:15:41.639 wines run at. The bottles of wine are on the table, 294 00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:44.120 and you can have a wine let at. You have 295 00:15:44.159 --> 00:15:47.919 a little wine, little glass from a welch's grape juice. 296 00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:50.519 Remember those days, I like this, good Dad have a 297 00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:52.600 little more. He kept let me drink it, and I 298 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:56.159 got so sick. I missed Christmas Eve the Presence opening. 299 00:15:56.200 --> 00:15:58.399 I had to go upstairs and puke. The mother threw 300 00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:02.240 a bucket at my bed and said, here, throw up 301 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:05.720 in this. And I woke up Christmas morning and I 302 00:16:05.720 --> 00:16:09.759 opened my Presence alone. It was the worst, but that 303 00:16:09.960 --> 00:16:13.200 was how powerful his wine was. So it looked awful 304 00:16:13.240 --> 00:16:15.080 from the side yard if you drove by a house. 305 00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:19.600 But it's an ingenious thing to do anyhow. That's what 306 00:16:19.639 --> 00:16:23.320 that sketch made me think of. Okay, I'm sixteen minutes 307 00:16:23.360 --> 00:16:26.200 in Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. I had to tell you that, 308 00:16:26.360 --> 00:16:28.240 just so you know I'm not in a bad move 309 00:16:28.279 --> 00:16:32.240 for no reason. Today was a motherfucker of a day, anyhoy. 310 00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:34.600 Last night I'm looking for shit to watch on Netflix, 311 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:39.919 Amazon prom I'm ready to cancel everything, especially today. I 312 00:16:40.039 --> 00:16:43.480 spend more time looking for a movie to watch than 313 00:16:43.559 --> 00:16:47.759 the actual movie length of time, Like I'll spend ninety 314 00:16:47.799 --> 00:16:52.200 minutes looking for a movie. So I'm looking. Okay, oh, 315 00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:55.639 this one, here's one. Olivia Wilde is a vigilante. I'm like, 316 00:16:55.679 --> 00:16:58.879 I like Olivia wild I didn't like Don't Worry Darling 317 00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:00.919 whatever her movie was, but I I know she's talented. 318 00:17:01.159 --> 00:17:03.879 I like to look at her face, although I'll tell 319 00:17:03.879 --> 00:17:05.960 you something. There's a close up off her punching a 320 00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:08.519 heavy bag at the beginning of this movie, and she's 321 00:17:08.519 --> 00:17:10.599 making faces and she's curling the lips up and you 322 00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:14.400 see her teeth. This movie's about five or six years old. 323 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:17.440 I think she had a teeth domb because if these 324 00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:20.079 are the teeth she's still going through Hollywood with, then 325 00:17:20.119 --> 00:17:22.519 she needs to see my dentists because they look ridiculed. 326 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:26.319 They're crooked, they're short, one's taller, one's tiny. Her bottom 327 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:28.799 teeth are awful, but I'm sure she got him fixed 328 00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:31.640 by now. She's run eighty million dollars. I'm sure they're fixed. 329 00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:37.799 But the movie, okay, here's the movie. I lasted six minutes. 330 00:17:38.279 --> 00:17:42.400 She basically beats up men who are domestic abuses of 331 00:17:42.440 --> 00:17:45.720 their wives. And in the six minutes I watched it, 332 00:17:46.640 --> 00:17:50.119 she's in front of a guy, a grown man in 333 00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:52.799 a business suit, in his office and she's telling the guy, 334 00:17:53.400 --> 00:17:57.400 you know your wife needs you gotta give her seventy 335 00:17:57.480 --> 00:18:00.279 five percent of your income. She gets to how she's 336 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:02.400 giving all these details, and the guy's like, who are 337 00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:04.680 you a lawyer? And he stands up to give her 338 00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:08.160 some shit. She karate chops him in the neck. The 339 00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:11.319 guy's like six'. Three she's a pip. Squeak he falls 340 00:18:11.319 --> 00:18:14.720 in his. Chair the next scene is he's at his. 341 00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:17.519 House his wife is in the, background and he's sitting 342 00:18:17.559 --> 00:18:22.640 in the, chair all, bloodied, ears knows. Eyes he's she 343 00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:25.960 beat the shit out of. Him apparently this guy couldn't defend. 344 00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:28.559 Himself like it's a five foot, three one hundred and 345 00:18:28.599 --> 00:18:31.400 three pound. Woman get the fuck out of. Here this 346 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:37.799 is movies. Nowadays he's three times in, size hits a 347 00:18:37.880 --> 00:18:41.799 bit of. THROAT i, CAN'T i can't watch. This the 348 00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:45.440 dining room table had blood on, it and the wife is, 349 00:18:45.480 --> 00:18:47.720 watching all happy Because olivia is gonna get her the 350 00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:50.799 big deal and he's the paperwork to. Sign i'm, SORRY 351 00:18:50.799 --> 00:18:53.680 i can't take this. SHIT i. Can't this doesn't happen 352 00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:56.720 in real. Life why are they whole green lit this. Movie, 353 00:18:58.000 --> 00:18:59.839 oh you're a woman who beats men up because they 354 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:04.079 abuse their. Wives decent, premise but maybe the lead character 355 00:19:04.119 --> 00:19:06.559 should be a man who beats other men, up not 356 00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:09.240 a pip sweet. Girl but you know we're in the 357 00:19:09.240 --> 00:19:14.920 middle of FUCKING, dei so here we go another, day 358 00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:19.079 another well earned victory in the war that has lasted 359 00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:21.880 just as, long if not. Longer, actually it's longer than 360 00:19:21.920 --> 00:19:26.720 The Iran. War it's longer The Dei war and The wokism, 361 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:29.400 war a longer than how long we've been In iran 362 00:19:29.480 --> 00:19:32.720 and pummeling the shit out of those. Dogs don't get me. 363 00:19:32.759 --> 00:19:35.640 STARTED i can't stand The trump's thinking, about, well we'll talk, 364 00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:37.720 again maybe they want to sign a. Deal fuck, them 365 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:41.880 kill them, all kill them. All every person And iran 366 00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:44.400 wants you know people AND I. RAN i don't care 367 00:19:44.440 --> 00:19:46.880 if this sounds like, politics too. Bad i'm on a. 368 00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:49.759 Roll do you know? People AND I ran. FEMALES i 369 00:19:49.799 --> 00:19:51.839 see them On instagram all the. TIME i see them 370 00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:55.839 talking to people who are newscasters In america and they, 371 00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:58.079 say you don't know what you're talking. ABOUT i have 372 00:19:58.279 --> 00:20:02.720 family In. Iran they bb net In. Yahoo they Love Donald. 373 00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:06.079 Trump they want to name cities after these two. Men 374 00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:09.079 don't tell us that what they're, doing What america And 375 00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:12.359 israel doing is bad for. You. Ran we want them, 376 00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:17.480 there but the liberals will tell you. That so having 377 00:20:17.559 --> 00:20:21.039 to deal with this Whole dei walk isn't. Nonsense here 378 00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:25.559 comes the latest, Story Cracker barrel finally came to its 379 00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:30.920 census and fired THE, Ceo Julie Fel's messino hate the 380 00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:35.279 fact that she's Married. Italian she's stepping. Down well maybe 381 00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:37.480 they didn't fire. Her she's stepping down because the writing 382 00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:40.079 was on the, wall because she failed with the walk. 383 00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:44.160 Rebrand WHERE i shear Of Cracker. Barrel she got those 384 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:48.079 big backlass like there's been for other things Like target 385 00:20:48.119 --> 00:20:50.759 and Bud, light all that, shit and she got caught 386 00:20:50.799 --> 00:20:54.720 up in this. Nonsense so a restaurant executive Named David, 387 00:20:54.839 --> 00:20:58.480 deno who used to be A ceo Of Blooming, brands 388 00:20:58.599 --> 00:21:02.240 which Owns Outback, state he's gonna replace. Her let's see 389 00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:05.240 if he's not a liberal. ASSHOLE i can't imagine they'd 390 00:21:05.279 --> 00:21:08.599 hire another. One but they're gonna Keep messino around in 391 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:14.759 an advisory capacity Until. October why she has shit. Ideas 392 00:21:16.359 --> 00:21:20.839 she spent three years there trying to make everything, modernize 393 00:21:20.920 --> 00:21:24.240 and you know what. Happened people who go To Cracker barrel. 394 00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:29.039 Revolted they wanted to modernize this whole. Chain they got 395 00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:32.680 rid Of Uncle, herschel the. Mascot they took away the 396 00:21:32.759 --> 00:21:37.480 chochgees that people see on the shelves At crackerbowl. Restaurants you, 397 00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:40.759 Know cracoball, PRIMARILY i would imagine is a place that 398 00:21:40.839 --> 00:21:45.000 a lot of conservative people like to. Eat i've personally 399 00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:46.799 never eaten at these. Restaurants there used to be a 400 00:21:46.839 --> 00:21:50.400 Cracker barrel at The male WHEN i was a, kid 401 00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:53.079