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Speaker 1: I don't like spiders. I don't like it when they

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bunched themselves up so their legs look like tangled wires.

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I don't like it when they spread themselves out like

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the radial spokes on a wheel. It was bad luck

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that when I met my wife, we discovered we were

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both scared of them. As the man, I just kind

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of wound up taking over spider killing duty. At first,

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this meant squealing or trying to lob as shure at

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one of them from a distance. But as the ears

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went on, I kind of just got tired of the

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stress and anxiety. Fear is exhausting, so is the pageantry

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of it, jumping up and shouting in lots of running around.

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Over time, I found myself having less and less of

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a fear reaction to them. Don't get me wrong, I

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don't want one crawling on my face, but it wasn't

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like they had me running away in fear every time.

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Lily was never great with them, either, but it wasn't

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what I call worthy of therapy. For the first ten

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years I knew her, she was a fairly run of

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the mill a rachnophobe. Things only got bad after this

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one night when we'd just come back in from an

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evening with friends. There'd been a storm outside, windy as hell.

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I remember putting the keys down on the table by

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the door, and when I looked back, she was pulling

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down the hood of her coat. She let out a sigh,

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ran her hands through her hair, and she looked a

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little puzzled by what she felt. When she lifted her

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hand away, there were thin black legs poking out from

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between her fingers. It took a second for her to

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react to what was all bunched up inside her cupped hand.

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Then she screamed and threw it on to the ground.

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I saw it for only a second, it was so fast.

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Then it was off under the nearest door, and my

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number one concern became comforting my wife, who was having

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a full blown panic attack. Get it off, Get it off,

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Get it off, she screamed, while slapping at her neck

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and hair. I hugged her, tight checked her hair, and

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then checked it again when she asked me to. Then

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she stripped the top off to make sure nothing else

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was clinging to her clothes before I took her into

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the kitchen and we had a cup of tea while

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she kept scratching at the back of her head. Little asshole.

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She half cried, half laughed. I can't believe it. Did

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you see it? It was huge, one of the biggest yet,

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I said, truthfully, I only had half glimpse memories of

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it scuttling away, But it had been big, large enough

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that a pine glass wouldn't have fit over its darting legs.

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Just seeing it had left me feeling anxious, but at

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the time I ignored my own discomfort. After all, I'd hardly

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been the real victim and it got away. She cringed.

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Oh God, it's still in this house somewhere, isn't it.

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I wanted to lie, but thought better of it. Somewhere, yeah,

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I said, But we'll spider prove the bedroom tonight and

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i'll go looking in the morning. Thank you, She smiled mournfully. Geez,

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I just know I'm going to have a hard time

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sleeping tonight. She made me strip the bed before she

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got in, and all night she kept flicking at a

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fringe and the hair on the back of her neck.

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I felt so bad for her. If that had been me,

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I can't say I would have react did much better.

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Neither of us slept that well, but I was mostly

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just worried about her. When you love someone, it's tough

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to see them suffer. But it wasn't just that one night.

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The second one was much the same, the third, fourth,

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and so on. It petered out a little in the

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second week, but then she saw a spider on some

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TV show and the anxiety came back full force. Every

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night was the same. I had to strip the bed

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of everything, lift the mattress, and check for spiders. She

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even got rid of a bedside table so they'd be

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less hiding places for one. In the meantime, I was

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on hunting duty. In her own words, I had to

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find the monster or she'd never feel safe in that

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house again. It's funny, but in hindsight, I can't really

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say what I saw ghosts scuttling under that doorway that

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first night, but I do know I didn't try all

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that hard to find it. I remember finding some webs

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under the living room sofa that were real oard like

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the fakes that they bring out on Halloween, and I

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had to peel them off the carpet like Velcrow. I

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found a couple of these nests throughout the house, but

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I never mentioned them. One of them hid in a

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hole in the floor. That really should have alarmed me,

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but I just ignored it. I ignored a lot. Actually. I

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found dead mice spun up in cocoons, and something bore

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a hole through one of the kitchen cupboards and filled

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it with silk. Nothing normal about that, but I covered

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it up with some cans and moved on. The behavior

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I find hard to explain in hindsight. Maybe my attention

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was elsewhere. Lily wasn't in a great place, and she

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was slowly getting worse. She cried a lot, and any

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little thing that touched the skin would result in lots

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of panicked yelling. She could eat a meal without slapping

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her arms and neck every few seconds. Things got real

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bad when I came back one night to find a

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shaving a head. She told me she got tired of

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mistaking the feeling of her own hair for a spider.

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So this was the simplest way to feel clean and safe.

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If you've ever lived with anyone who's had a break down,

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there's usually this moment where your heart sinks as you

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realize that what you're dealing with has trescended the norm.

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It's quite frightening, actually, reminded me of when my mom

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found a lump. It's a very isolating sort of fear.

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I remember lying awake in bed that night and just

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thinking about how I'd found Lily bent over the bath

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shaver in hand with a head like that dull from

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toy story. When she looked over her shoulder at me

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and smiled, and her eyes were so wide, I felt

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like I wasn't looking at my wife anymore. Have you

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ever missed someone while you still live with them, made

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them coffee and breakfast and chatted about your day, but

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it's like nobody's there. Every day was the same. I'd

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tell her about work, and she'd tell me about how

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she scrubbed the bedroom topp to bottom looking for spiders,

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or started pulling up the bathroom tiles to check the nest.

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At one point, I realized she'd taken a lot of

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time off work, but she wouldn't give me a straight answer,

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so I had to call her office. They wouldn't even

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answer my calls, which I had to take as a

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pretty bad sign. It came as a relief when she

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got sectioned. Everything came out all at once. She tried

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putting a hammer to one of the walls to find

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what was behind it, not realizing that it was just

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a neighbour's living room on the other side. I was

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at work during all this, but things clearly escalated pretty quickly,

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and the police arrived to find a partially bold woman

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screaming about spiders in the walls. By the time I

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got home, they had already taken her to be assessed

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at the local hospital. I rushed the visitor, but in

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the meantime I had to call her parents. And it

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was well because I wasn't alone anymore. Other people knew

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what was going on, and that made it a little

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easier for me to navigate. Until then, I'd been afraid

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to mention it to anyone. I guess I was a

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little embarrassed. Well, maybe just not sure what the etiquette

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was for discussing someone else's mental health. She was only

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gone about a night, not even twelve hours. Really. The

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neighbors agreed not to breast charges if I paid for

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all the repairs and Lily got therapy. Lily's parents are

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quite well off, so they helped us out with that.

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They found this clinic that she stayed at for a

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couple of weeks. It specialized in exposure therapy, which really

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just means getting a person used to their phobia. Don't

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like water, spend hours every day in a pool, don't

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like maths, step into a room with thousands of them.

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This is over simplification, of course. It's a special program

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that involves gradual increases in the nature of the exposure.

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First night, she called me and told me they'd had

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a looking at pictures of a spider while talking about

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her experience. They were literally just cartoony drawings, but she

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told me she found it hard anyway. She cried, and

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I cried too. She was only a few hours drive away,

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but I didn't want to be away from her, and

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everything had happened so suddenly. It was only six weeks

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between that night with the storm and her ending up

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in that clinic. But in that short period of time,

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I felt like the ground had fallen from beneath my feet.

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Two weeks she was in there, I don't remember them well.

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There were phone calls every night. She was getting better,

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she told me, and the doctor confirmed as much. Hard

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going for sure. There to Sedata the day she graduated

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from cartoons to actual photos of spiders. Apparently she scratched

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an orderly up, real bad. My time in the house

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was lonely, a little weird too, if I'm honest. I

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woke up at one point with cobwebs in my hair,

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and at some point I realized that I hadn't seen

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a spider in my home for a long time, not

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even a little money spider. I briefly wondered about what

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the hell had been leaving cobwebs around the place, but

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never followed up on it. It's hard to get my

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thoughts straight. I do remember finding more dead mice al

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webbed up in the back of that kitchen cupboard. One morning,

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I came down to find a starling cocooned on the

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outside of the kitchen window. No sign of what did

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it though. I just stared at it and sipped my coffee.

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Then I left for work, and when I came back

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it was gone. Probably not a good time to tell

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you I was diagnosed with a kind of dementia some

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time ago. I guess they're supposed to help makes sense

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of things, right, I don't know. Doesn't feel like it

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makes sense to me. It's not like Alzheimer's runs in

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the family. They say the neurons of a human brain

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with Alzheimer's look like a cobweb that has hole spoked

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in it. That's a good way to describe how my

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mind feels to live in thoughts travel along a given

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route and then just drop off. Lily's therapy progressed nicely,

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though I remember that quite clearly. The phone calls and

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the sound of a voice real, vivid. Jeez. I missed

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it so bad during this time. I hate being overly sentimental,

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but it had been a tough and lonely six weeks,

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and hearing us sound increasingly happy and confident with each

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new phone call was like a shot of pure happiness

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right into my veins. I missed her and I want

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to her back. And when she told me, giggling with joy,

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that she held a spider on day ten, I burst

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out crying right with her. I felt pride at her accomplishment,

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and I felt relief that things might be getting back

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on track for us, like the nightmare was finally going

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to be over. It wasn't so simple. When I saw

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her in person, she came back looking like the war wounded.

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I should say she looked beautiful, but I want to

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be honest. I smiled when I saw her but it

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didn't reach my eyes because the woman who got into

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the car looked like a lifetime apart from the woman

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who'd been living with me just a few months ago.

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She was thin as a rake, with ashy, pallid skin

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and a shaved head that made her look like a matchstick,

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and her eyes, the look in them wasn't right, but

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she was smiling, So I swallowed the funny feeling I

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had in my stomach and pretended everything was okay. There

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was no work for her to go back to, and

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I managed to get some time off after speaking to

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my boss. It was just us, and that can be

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a weird feeling for a couple used to working nine

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to five. I was on edge, didn't know what to expect.

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She smiled a lot, tried her best to reassure me,

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and I asked a lot about what therapy was like,

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and she told me it was fantastic. Showed me photos

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of her sitting next to big house spiders, some as

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wide as a palm. Had to fight back my own

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fear while looking at them. She told me that was

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day thirteen, but when I asked what happened on day fourteen,

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she said it was mostly packing up and saying good bye.

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There was a dark and uncomfortable truth to relationships, and

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it's that time only flows in one direction. My wife

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hadn't done anything wrong, and I didn't really feel any

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ill will towards her, but a distance had been placed

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between us. All the best will in the world couldn't

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undo it. She changed, being changed, I guess at the time,

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I didn't know how to understand any of it, but

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I wasn't sure how the treat. When I kissed her,

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it was on the cheek. When I held her, it

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was like hugging a female coworker. I didn't know what

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my own feelings were, and I wouldn't until I found

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her one morning in the kitchen, tapping away at a

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pink glass and giggling like a toddler. It wasn't the

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light and airy laughter of a woman I was used to.

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It was more like the lad after a bunch of kids,

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00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:06,480
egging on a fight or cheering on her nasty bully.

240
00:16:06,679 --> 00:16:09,720
She didn't speak when she looked at me. She just

241
00:16:09,799 --> 00:16:14,519
turned back to the glass and kept laughing, flicking it

242
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,679
gently with her fingers. When I walked around the table

243
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:24,320
and saw it under there, a very large house spider.

244
00:16:26,759 --> 00:16:29,399
I don't know what is normal for people around the world,

245
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,159
but a UK house spider is big if its legs

246
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,519
are wider than the palm of your hand. This thing

247
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:40,039
was even bigger, with legs bundled up against the side

248
00:16:40,039 --> 00:16:44,360
of the glass like spools of segmented wool, and seeing

249
00:16:44,399 --> 00:16:48,919
it made me jump way back. I realized I hadn't

250
00:16:48,919 --> 00:16:52,600
seen another spider since the night of the storm, and

251
00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:56,159
that thing all called up with legs as thick as hairpins,

252
00:16:56,759 --> 00:17:00,360
was a real shock to my system. I cried out,

253
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:07,200
and my wife she started howling with laughter. I mean,

254
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:10,839
it was like a toddler discovering cartoons for the first time,

255
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:16,400
manic and weird and just so damn happy. But in

256
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,279
a way, there was a little alien because I didn't

257
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,640
understand the thoughts and feelings that went into the ear

258
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:28,759
splitting cackle, and it was all wrong coming from her.

259
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,119
I waited for her to say something, but she didn't.

260
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:37,720
She just laughed until something in her got tired and

261
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:42,039
she slowly stopped giggling, but she still didn't say anything

262
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:47,519
even after she'd gone quiet. In the end, it was

263
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:51,119
me who broke the silence. I didn't have a clue

264
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,599
what to say. The whole time she was staring at

265
00:17:54,599 --> 00:17:58,359
me with a patchy hair and gleeful, teary eyes, and

266
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,359
I got so desperate to break the stand off that

267
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:09,599
I stammered out the words He's a big one, ain't he.

268
00:18:09,599 --> 00:18:13,920
Her face relaxed, her shoulders slumped. She slipped out of

269
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:18,759
the crazy like it was only ever an outfit. They'll

270
00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:23,680
get bigger, she said, and then she lifted the glass,

271
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:29,160
snatched the spider up, and stuffed it into her mouth.

272
00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:35,799
I didn't see it, not fully, but I stood frozen

273
00:18:35,839 --> 00:18:39,039
in terror and watched the muscles in a boldly shaved

274
00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:43,720
head tense and relaxed as a jaw worked away crushing

275
00:18:43,759 --> 00:18:49,200
those hardened legs. Jeez, the sounds were bad enough. But

276
00:18:49,319 --> 00:18:52,200
when she was done, she looked over a shoulder at

277
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:56,440
me and smiled, and her teeth was smeared green and black,

278
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,480
with little bit of legs and kiting that still stuck

279
00:19:00,559 --> 00:19:07,720
between the gums. I'm not entirely sure what happened next,

280
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,519
but now I knew I had felt so different around

281
00:19:10,559 --> 00:19:14,240
her since she'd come back. I was afraid of her,

282
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,839
like a kid around an abusive parent. I just didn't

283
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,880
know what I was going to get. There was always

284
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,759
this energy in the room that had me on edge.

285
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,400
I'd sit there watching TV, but I wasn't really watching.

286
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:33,480
Couldn't have told you what was on half the time. Instead,

287
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:38,799
every ounce of my being was focused on her, every breath,

288
00:19:39,039 --> 00:19:42,440
every motion. When she got up to use that toilet,

289
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,839
I watched her intensely to see what she was going

290
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,559
to do, the fact that she rarely did anything except

291
00:19:49,599 --> 00:19:53,359
carry on as normal was all the more unsettling, because

292
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,799
I knew something was wrong, and I couldn't stop remembering

293
00:19:56,839 --> 00:20:02,559
the way she'd laughed with that thing under the glass.

294
00:20:03,279 --> 00:20:06,640
Nights were bad. A lot of the time. I'd wake

295
00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:09,359
up and get the feeling she'd just been watching me,

296
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,839
but she was usually fast asleep, or at least that's

297
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:18,119
how it looked. Sometimes there were furtive movements, like she

298
00:20:18,319 --> 00:20:22,599
just rolled over. I got used to it, thought it

299
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,160
was probably just in my head. But then one night

300
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:30,640
I woke up and she was right there, face inches

301
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:35,440
away from mine. I cried out. I couldn't help it,

302
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,440
shuffled backwards while trying to avoid touching her, and wound

303
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,680
up falling off the bed. When I looked up from

304
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:47,920
the floor, She had a completely blank expression. She was

305
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,039
just looking at me, like a cat watching her fly.

306
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,359
What are you doing? I cried out, unable to stop

307
00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:03,799
the irritation from bleeding into my voice. She shrugged, just watching.

308
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:12,079
Then she rolled over like nothing had happened. That night,

309
00:21:12,799 --> 00:21:17,799
I slept on the sofa. She didn't ask why, didn't

310
00:21:17,799 --> 00:21:20,000
say a word as I grabbed my things and left

311
00:21:20,039 --> 00:21:23,480
the room. I wasn't sure I would manage to fall

312
00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:28,519
asleep after that, but I did, and when I woke

313
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:36,039
up I had cobwebs in my hair. I was lucky

314
00:21:36,279 --> 00:21:38,279
if I slept more than a few hours a night

315
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:43,519
after that. It came fitfully, if at all. I work

316
00:21:43,599 --> 00:21:46,240
up too many times to the feeling of something tickling

317
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:50,000
my face and chest, a sensation like someone running a

318
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,079
feather over me. Every time I'd come to in a panic,

319
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:59,440
but I never found anything except nearly invisible silk clinging

320
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:04,119
to my skin. In life without sleep was difficult, and

321
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:08,880
I struggled to hide my dislike for Lily. Over time,

322
00:22:09,039 --> 00:22:13,960
our habits and routines diverged even further apart. I stopped

323
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:19,839
going upstairs almost entirely, just didn't need to. I had work,

324
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:23,440
and the sofa and the kitchen, and the days when

325
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,240
I came back and barely saw Lily at all were

326
00:22:26,279 --> 00:22:31,880
fine by me. I preferred being away from her, something

327
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:36,200
that kind of broke my heart, if I'm honest. There

328
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,480
were times I wanted to reach out, but looking at

329
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:43,599
her gave me the funniest feeling in my stomach. I

330
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,200
didn't want to change things, didn't want to get closer.

331
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,519
If anything, I wanted to run away. And I don't

332
00:22:52,559 --> 00:22:55,000
mean that I wanted to flee my life and adult

333
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,440
responsibilities in some abstract way. I mean I felt a

334
00:22:59,519 --> 00:23:03,640
powerful urged to quite literally run away from her. It

335
00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:07,039
was horrible feeling that way about my wife, and just

336
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,400
trying to understand those emotions was enough to give me

337
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:16,880
a headache most days. I became real forgetful during this time,

338
00:23:17,759 --> 00:23:20,599
and it was a long time before I realized I'd

339
00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:24,240
forgotten to pay for the repairs to the wall. I

340
00:23:24,279 --> 00:23:28,559
think it slipped my mind. Emphasis on think, because I

341
00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:32,559
don't remember what I have and haven't forgotten. I just

342
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:36,759
nailed to plywood over and left it. And three months later,

343
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,319
one day, out of the blue, it occurred to me

344
00:23:41,039 --> 00:23:45,160
I should probably have done something more about it. I

345
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,480
did find a tool kit in the kitchen that wasn't mine.

346
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,440
I might have called someone out for a quote, I

347
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,160
don't know, But when I remembered that I'd never actually

348
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,680
fixed the hole, I was filled with this shame and embarrassment,

349
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,480
and I decided I did the best thing to do

350
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,759
was to face it head on and go apologize to

351
00:24:04,839 --> 00:24:09,400
my neighbor. I never knew a lot about the guy.

352
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,519
He was an older man who liked his football and

353
00:24:12,599 --> 00:24:16,119
had a nose like a tomato, and spent most nights

354
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:20,079
in the pub. I knew he lived alone, though, and

355
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,279
when I knocked his door and there was no answer,

356
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,400
it wasn't too strange. At least, they didn't seem out

357
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,559
of the ordinary until I went back inside my house

358
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,880
and heard footsteps on the other side of the wall.

359
00:24:35,319 --> 00:24:37,839
So I went back and knocked a couple more times,

360
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,359
figuring maybe he hadn't heard me, but there was still

361
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:49,240
no answer. I found this weird. He didn't seem like

362
00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:51,119
the kind of guy who would avoid the neighbor. He

363
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,559
didn't like he'd just opened the door and tell you

364
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:59,440
to get lost. I went back and looked, but couldn't

365
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:03,079
see anything through his windows, and all I could see

366
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:06,160
looking through his letter box was a gray sheet across

367
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:10,960
the opening. When my fingers came away, covered in sticky thread,

368
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,519
I had this terrible feeling in my stomach. I couldn't

369
00:25:15,559 --> 00:25:19,039
have possibly explained how, but I was convinced that Lily

370
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:23,480
had done something. After all, it was him calling the

371
00:25:23,519 --> 00:25:27,519
police who'd gotten her into trouble. But it wasn't like

372
00:25:27,599 --> 00:25:30,359
I could kick his door down to check, and I

373
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:35,960
wasn't going to go scrambling through any half open windows. Fortunately,

374
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:40,000
we shared a fence in the back garden. It was

375
00:25:40,079 --> 00:25:43,359
easy enough to jump, and from there I checked the

376
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:47,039
windows on that side of the house. He left the

377
00:25:47,079 --> 00:25:51,759
kitchen blinds open, and at first what I saw baffled me.

378
00:25:53,519 --> 00:25:57,039
For a moment, I wondered if he was decorating, because

379
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:01,680
everything inside was covered by a thin translution sheet. But

380
00:26:01,759 --> 00:26:05,440
I only had to pay close attention to realize that

381
00:26:05,519 --> 00:26:10,359
didn't make sense. When painting a ceiling, you don't throw

382
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,599
tarp over half drunk cups of coffee and plates of

383
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,680
moldy food. And the material that covered everything was cloudy

384
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,680
and made of thread and obviously some kind of silk.

385
00:26:23,279 --> 00:26:25,319
It took a lot of effort to control the earths,

386
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,079
to just hop the fence back and pretend like I

387
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,640
never saw a damn thing. But if he needed some

388
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,799
kind of help, then I knew I had to at

389
00:26:34,839 --> 00:26:39,480
least try. I looked briefly at the stoop by the

390
00:26:39,519 --> 00:26:42,759
back door. There was the lighter on the ground where

391
00:26:42,799 --> 00:26:47,319
someone had dropped it. It was strangely conspicuous and made

392
00:26:47,319 --> 00:26:49,960
me think that whoever had left it there had done

393
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,440
so in a hurry. Didn't make sense that someone would

394
00:26:53,559 --> 00:26:57,279
drop it there and not notice, not unless they'd been

395
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:03,119
otherwise occupied. I picked it up and winced when it

396
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:08,119
came from the floor with a sticky tearing sound. It

397
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:15,000
was covered in barely visible silk threads. God, I wanted

398
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,319
that back door to be locked. Couldn't think of anything

399
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:22,119
worse than having to push ahead. But I tried the

400
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:26,960
handle and he went down. The door popped open with

401
00:27:27,039 --> 00:27:29,799
barely any effort, and I got a good look at

402
00:27:29,839 --> 00:27:32,759
how every last inch of that place was covered in

403
00:27:32,839 --> 00:27:36,640
pale cobwebs. I got thicker and thicker as my eyes

404
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:41,119
drifted deeper inside the house. I couldn't help but wonder

405
00:27:41,319 --> 00:27:44,480
if they were strong enough to trap a person. Was

406
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:49,160
my neighbor in there. Somewhere, somebody was I knew that

407
00:27:49,279 --> 00:27:52,319
much from the sounds I'd heard, but I couldn't see

408
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:56,279
him in the kitchen. I wanted to cry out for him,

409
00:27:56,799 --> 00:27:59,759
maybe even go marching into the house and look for myself,

410
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,319
but the hallway out of the kitchen had been turned

411
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:08,440
into a weblind tunnel, no straight lines, just the dark,

412
00:28:08,599 --> 00:28:13,480
silky womb, whose rounded funnel walls fluttered gently in the breeze.

413
00:28:15,039 --> 00:28:18,480
I stared intently into that darkness, try my best to

414
00:28:18,559 --> 00:28:21,160
see if there was the shape of a man's corpse

415
00:28:21,279 --> 00:28:27,160
cocooned somewhere in that pale white silk. I leaned forward,

416
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,480
my head and shoulders, just moving past the door frame,

417
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:36,720
when the blackness in the tunnel grew. Legs, dark carapace

418
00:28:37,079 --> 00:28:41,519
and segmented limbs exploded towards me so fast it was

419
00:28:41,559 --> 00:28:44,000
almost in the kitchen before my heart had time to

420
00:28:44,039 --> 00:28:48,240
skip a beat. And then it stopped half way into

421
00:28:48,279 --> 00:28:53,319
the room, standing perfectly still and brazen in the fading daylight.

422
00:28:54,759 --> 00:28:58,759
A bundle of legs the size of a horse, A

423
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:07,559
real life monster. I didn't move, jeez. It took me

424
00:29:07,599 --> 00:29:10,079
another minute for my brain just to process what I

425
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,960
was looking at on a conscious level, my nervous system

426
00:29:14,039 --> 00:29:17,920
was quicker. Sure. It was like a blanket of disgust

427
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:22,119
and terror was thrown over me. My stomach plunged to

428
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,519
the floor, my skin crawled, my heart felt like it

429
00:29:25,559 --> 00:29:32,200
was going to explode, But my actual mind was blank, white, noise, ecstatic.

430
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:38,039
The creature was huge, so big its legs could just

431
00:29:38,119 --> 00:29:41,559
about fit in the hallway behind it, but in the

432
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,119
kitchen with a little more room, those front limbs and

433
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:49,359
mouthy feelers spread out like tendrils and gripped the doorway.

434
00:29:50,599 --> 00:29:53,440
It was ready to pounce on whatever had sent disturbances

435
00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:58,400
throughout its web. I've read that spiders can be a

436
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:02,519
little like venus fly trap. They don't always pounce on

437
00:30:02,559 --> 00:30:07,480
a single trigger. They need multiple hits. When I looked

438
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,599
down at my feet, I saw that I'd taken just

439
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:14,400
one step inside, but that was all it needed to

440
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:19,960
be alerted. Now it approached the initial alarm, and half blind,

441
00:30:20,559 --> 00:30:23,920
it waited for another hint of something trapped inside its web.

442
00:30:25,759 --> 00:30:31,240
I had to wonder, with lifting my shoe count, did

443
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:36,119
I have a choice. I couldn't stay there looking how

444
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,160
the damn thing was bringing me closer and closer to

445
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:43,559
a full blown panic with every passing second. I had

446
00:30:43,559 --> 00:30:45,839
to do something, and I had to do it with

447
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:53,079
some semblance of control. I slid my foot backwards. The

448
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:57,160
spider didn't move. As soon as both feet were outside,

449
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,839
I let go of the door handle and felt something

450
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:06,799
sticky detach from my palm. It feels like an exaggeration

451
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,839
to say that lightning moves slower. I'm not sure I

452
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,319
have the worst to describe how fast it was. I'm

453
00:31:14,359 --> 00:31:16,799
sure most of you have seen a nature documentary with

454
00:31:16,799 --> 00:31:19,920
one of those fish, or maybe even a trapdoor spider.

455
00:31:20,759 --> 00:31:26,440
Oh damn, that was quick. But this thing, maybe it

456
00:31:26,519 --> 00:31:29,799
was just because it was coming right at me. I've

457
00:31:29,839 --> 00:31:33,480
never seen anything like it, except for when videos get edited.

458
00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:38,279
All of a sudden, it was just there, and before

459
00:31:38,319 --> 00:31:41,440
I knew it, thick wooly paps were pinning me to

460
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,440
the ground, and I was looking into a pink slit

461
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,039
of a mouth framed by fangs as long as my forearm.

462
00:31:49,839 --> 00:31:53,440
They moved independent of each other, and something about the

463
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,960
sight of all those wheel spoke legs and segmented joints

464
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:02,200
clung together in its thorax said my mind. I said

465
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,359
at the beginning of this that a lifetime of exposure

466
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:12,880
had helped curb my ragnophobia, But there are limits. I

467
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:19,599
blacked out. When I woke up, it was dark all

468
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,079
around me. I didn't know it at the time, but

469
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,839
the belly of the beast was my neighbour's former living room.

470
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,839
It wasn't actually pitch black, but it did take a

471
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,480
few terrifying minutes for my eyes that were just well

472
00:32:33,599 --> 00:32:36,119
enough just to be able to see my own body

473
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,480
stuck and wriggling beneath me. I was wrapped up tight.

474
00:32:41,279 --> 00:32:44,160
And if you've ever heard the refrain that spider silk

475
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:48,240
is stronger than steel and doubted it, well, trust me

476
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:53,759
it's true. A few thin threads doesn't give you a

477
00:32:53,799 --> 00:32:57,160
proper sense of it. But I was wrapped in what

478
00:32:57,279 --> 00:33:00,119
must have been half an inch of the stuff. I

479
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,759
felt like I was wearing ten layers of lycra that

480
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,480
was too small. There was a tiny bit of give,

481
00:33:07,359 --> 00:33:10,200
enough to let me move fingers or toes or even

482
00:33:10,279 --> 00:33:16,400
bend aneach, just a fraction, but that was it. It

483
00:33:16,559 --> 00:33:21,680
was horrifying. I'm not exactly clostrophobic either, for what it's worth,

484
00:33:22,359 --> 00:33:26,319
but given the circumstances I found myself panicking as I

485
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,119
tried to get some purchase. I kept thinking, if I

486
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,079
could get a finger hugged into it, then maybe I

487
00:33:33,119 --> 00:33:37,680
could start tearing away. I was desperate, but the more

488
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:43,039
I fought, the more I realized it was hopeless. The

489
00:33:43,119 --> 00:33:46,240
silk was elastic and strong, and covered in a thick,

490
00:33:46,599 --> 00:33:50,720
stodgy glue that only further limited my movement, as everything

491
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,640
I did spread it around until I was gumbing my

492
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:58,359
legs and hands together was an until exhaustion caught up

493
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,119
to me and I was forced to take a short break,

494
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:07,759
and I realized I wasn't alone. There was another cocoon

495
00:34:07,839 --> 00:34:13,159
beside me. My neighbor had been a big man in life,

496
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:17,280
podgy with a large potbelly and a head like a thumb,

497
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,960
but in the dim light of that room, he looked

498
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,760
like a skeleton wrapped in skin that had been found

499
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:28,199
half decayed in an ancient, forgotten tomb, so thin and

500
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,280
desiccated you could hug a finger under the tendons in

501
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:35,679
his neck and jaws. I nearly cried when I realized

502
00:34:36,039 --> 00:34:40,239
I'd risked everything to save a dead man, but that

503
00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:45,599
wasn't actually true. The error in my thinking became apparent

504
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:50,480
when he opened his eyes and glanced at me with pure,

505
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:56,239
unbridled terror. He opened his mouth, and I was convinced

506
00:34:56,239 --> 00:35:01,519
he was about to scream, when instead he coughed and gagged,

507
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,320
and something wet and brown dribbled out of his mouth.

508
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,719
It flopped down his chin and came to rest on

509
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:14,440
the floor between us. It resembled a hair band encased

510
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:19,159
in bile and vomit, and I was momentarily stumped until

511
00:35:19,199 --> 00:35:24,480
I saw a thin brown leg unfurl from the tangled mess.

512
00:35:25,559 --> 00:35:31,000
Hit okay, my neighbor's entire body relaxed, his face vacant

513
00:35:31,039 --> 00:35:35,239
and confused as Lily knelt down beside me and stroked

514
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:41,639
my head. Lily, you've got to get me, sh she said,

515
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:46,440
pressing a single finger to my lips. Hits okay, it's

516
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:53,920
going to be okay. Behind her, a shadow appeared. It

517
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,239
had legs as thick as my wrist, and they reached

518
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:01,239
from the floor to the ceiling. It won't be much

519
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:05,079
longer now, she added, as the darkness behind her grew.

520
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:11,400
Probably best just to keep you here, Lily, What the help?

521
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:16,079
I told you? They get bigger, she said, nodding towards

522
00:36:16,079 --> 00:36:18,719
the spider. My neighbor had just spat under the floor.

523
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,920
He won't be any real help. She touched my neighbor's head,

524
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:28,800
but he barely responded. He just gazed vacantly as she

525
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,800
rolled him over so that he was facing away from me.

526
00:36:33,599 --> 00:36:37,239
For such a clever animal, she added, as she parted

527
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:43,960
his hair, I'm always curious about just how much you miss.

528
00:36:44,599 --> 00:36:47,599
Something was clamped around the back of his head, a

529
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:51,840
throbbing bulb of mottled brown skin and hair. It looked

530
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,880
like a spider without legs. That's what I thought it was,

531
00:36:55,199 --> 00:36:57,960
and to my wife ran a finger playfully along its back,

532
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:03,400
and my neighbor let out a gut wrenching squill of pain. Slowly,

533
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,760
the shape seemed to wriggle and writhe, and a long,

534
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,639
thin leg emerged from beneath its body, and I realized

535
00:37:10,679 --> 00:37:13,719
I was looking at a spider wrapped tight around his skull,

536
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,039
its legs buried beneath the skin and muscle of his scalp.

537
00:37:19,679 --> 00:37:22,360
For a moment, it playfully curled the leg in the

538
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:26,239
air before returning it to the incision and sliding it

539
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:31,440
back into place, every inch, disappearing with a gruesome wet sound.

540
00:37:32,639 --> 00:37:35,800
It displays muscle and hair, and when it came to rest,

541
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:40,280
I realized just how misshapen his skull had become from

542
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:45,159
all those legs wrapped tight around his head. What the hell,

543
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:49,360
I gasped, Do you ever find it weird that you

544
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,440
can't remember what it looked like? The thing that came

545
00:37:52,519 --> 00:37:56,440
running out of her hand, she asked, before reaching over

546
00:37:56,519 --> 00:38:03,199
to stroke my head. Her hand came away covered in cobwebs.

547
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:08,519
Something about a touch revolted me. It sent strange shivers

548
00:38:08,519 --> 00:38:12,519
coursing through my body. A deep, primordial need to get

549
00:38:12,559 --> 00:38:17,199
away came over me, that strange revulsion all over again,

550
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,960
the same one that had taunted me over and over

551
00:38:21,039 --> 00:38:25,480
again over the last few weeks. Without even meaning to,

552
00:38:26,079 --> 00:38:29,679
I found myself convulsing and panicking, my body trying to

553
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,719
thrash violently, but with every limb constricted by that silk,

554
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,199
I could do nothing except wrther a round on the floor.

555
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,000
I tried with everything I had to move my hands

556
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,960
to get some purchase on the silk and tear away

557
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,719
at it to free myself, but there was no use.

558
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,840
I could do nothing except glare at my wife and

559
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,719
the enormous shadow behind her, the one that towered above us,

560
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:59,920
both its great legs clustering around the floor and ceiling.

561
00:39:03,519 --> 00:39:06,639
At some point, I grabbed onto my trousers and clenched

562
00:39:06,679 --> 00:39:11,880
my fist and felt something small than hard, the lighter.

563
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,920
I knew there was a great risk in using it,

564
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,639
but I had no choice. I managed to worm my

565
00:39:19,679 --> 00:39:23,280
hand into my pocket and find it with my fumbling fingers.

566
00:39:24,199 --> 00:39:26,559
My wife seemed oddly aware of what I was doing,

567
00:39:27,119 --> 00:39:29,400
and she seemed a tilt her head like a curious

568
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,519
dog as I clenched my fist around the small object

569
00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:35,719
and used every ounce of will power I had left

570
00:39:36,159 --> 00:39:39,119
to fight the violent seizures that racked my body and

571
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:44,639
thumbed the trigger. The web went up in flames immediately.

572
00:39:46,079 --> 00:39:49,280
It must have been the glue, but the flames exploded

573
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,239
across the silk like they had been soaked in kerosene.

574
00:39:53,079 --> 00:39:55,519
Before I even realized that it had weakened enough for

575
00:39:55,599 --> 00:39:58,320
me to free one arm, the tongues of fire were

576
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,920
already spreading across the floor where they found my poor neighbor.

577
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:06,119
The burning sensation that crawled across my legs and chest

578
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:11,199
hurt like nothing I could imagine, but I was finally free.

579
00:40:12,639 --> 00:40:15,840
I rolled over and began to push myself up, already

580
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,119
desperately patting at my body to try put out the flames.

581
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,960
And when I looked around me, my wife and the

582
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:28,119
shape that followed her were gone. For a moment, I

583
00:40:28,199 --> 00:40:32,159
considered helping my neighbor, but his body thrust too violently,

584
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,239
and although his eyes were wide open, spiders were pouring

585
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,320
from his mouth, and I could not summon the courage

586
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:43,280
to take another step towards him. All I could think

587
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:48,960
of was escape. The house was going up like a

588
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,719
tinder box. It wasn't far to the kitchen, but the

589
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:56,880
fire had already beat me there. Smoke billowed upwards, and

590
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:00,320
trapped by the ceiling, started to fill the air with

591
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:04,000
a choking soot. The only escape was the back door,

592
00:41:04,559 --> 00:41:07,320
and I stumbled towards it, but was stopped at the

593
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,800
last moment by the side of my wife standing there.

594
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:16,199
You really are just a fascinating spit. I barrowed past her,

595
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:22,239
but to my surprise, she offered no resistance. I merely

596
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:26,079
emerged into the open air, my lungs gasping desperately for

597
00:41:26,199 --> 00:41:30,000
clean air. As I collapsed onto the long, unkempt grass,

598
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:34,559
I looked over my shoulder and saw orange tongues of

599
00:41:34,639 --> 00:41:37,800
fire were already leaping out the windows on the upper floor.

600
00:41:39,079 --> 00:41:42,840
Left uncontrolled, the fire would rage and consume the entire

601
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:47,000
row of terrace houses. I felt a moment of remorse,

602
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:50,920
but there were already sirens in the distance, so I

603
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,639
knew someone had noticed and done the right thing. But

604
00:41:57,119 --> 00:42:01,320
it was an over Lily was sitting on the fence.

605
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,440
I don't know how she got there, but she looked

606
00:42:05,519 --> 00:42:11,159
completely undisturbed. I never once imagined that when the wind

607
00:42:11,199 --> 00:42:14,360
blew me into a home, I'd find such an interesting

608
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:18,440
pair of people, she said, What a fun mind to

609
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,519
sink my legs into. I really had no idea what

610
00:42:21,599 --> 00:42:25,679
I was going to find. Let her go, I gasped,

611
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:31,039
I have, she said, with a shrug. I did months ago.

612
00:42:31,159 --> 00:42:35,519
As a matter of fact, there were some incompatibilities, and

613
00:42:35,639 --> 00:42:39,880
it just made sense to move homes. She pointed at

614
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:44,280
me and smiled, I've enjoyed living inside your head quite

615
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:50,039
a bit. Struggling to make sense of her words, but

616
00:42:50,199 --> 00:42:54,920
still somehow aware of their terrifying implications, I placed one

617
00:42:55,000 --> 00:43:00,440
hand on the back of my neck and felt it her.

618
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,159
The mere touch was enough to fill my mouth with

619
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,440
a coppery taste, while my vision blurred at the edges.

620
00:43:08,599 --> 00:43:12,039
Something beneath my skin shifted and I felt a terrible

621
00:43:12,079 --> 00:43:16,079
pressure behind my eyes. I had to get rid of her,

622
00:43:17,079 --> 00:43:22,880
and I only knew of one weakness. Oh well, she said,

623
00:43:23,079 --> 00:43:27,000
as she watched me fumble desperately for the lighter. Not

624
00:43:27,159 --> 00:43:33,800
every relationship has to last forever to be meaningful. I

625
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:38,679
lit my hair on fire. My last memories were of

626
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:43,679
the heat and the sudden release of pressure. I couldn't

627
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:49,320
possibly describe it, not really. Something slid out of my skull,

628
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,719
and Lily waved at me from the fence before she

629
00:43:52,760 --> 00:44:00,280
seemed to blink out of existence, and then nothing, not

630
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:08,079
even darkness, just total absence. I wouldn't regain a sense

631
00:44:08,119 --> 00:44:13,360
of self until the hospital several weeks later. There was

632
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,480
nothing left of either house, but they did manage to

633
00:44:16,519 --> 00:44:20,639
control the fire before it spread to the others. I'm

634
00:44:20,679 --> 00:44:24,000
sure there was still some damage, and to this day

635
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:28,039
I feel guilty about it. I think I was charged

636
00:44:28,079 --> 00:44:32,719
with arson, maybe more. I vague memories of being wheeled

637
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:36,119
into a courtroom. The doctors have agonized over me for

638
00:44:36,199 --> 00:44:41,599
a long time, and one mentioned amateur trepanation. He said

639
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:44,480
I must have practiced it on my wife, at least

640
00:44:44,559 --> 00:44:46,719
based on the body they found in my neighbour's house.

641
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:52,039
But I can't really be sure of anything. I am

642
00:44:52,079 --> 00:44:56,599
forever dipping in and out of reality. Writing this down

643
00:44:56,639 --> 00:45:01,480
has been difficult. I'm not entirely aware of where I

644
00:45:01,519 --> 00:45:05,599
am right now. One doctor told me I might make

645
00:45:05,679 --> 00:45:09,079
some kind of recovery if it was just normal brain damage,

646
00:45:09,679 --> 00:45:12,800
but he never seen anything like it, so he couldn't

647
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:16,880
be sure. Feels like it's a different doctor every time

648
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:21,800
I see them. Then again, I don't always recognize myself

649
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,400
when I look in the mirror. Of course, that could

650
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:29,239
just be the burns, but I reckon even then, I

651
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:34,159
still look a fair bit older than I should. There

652
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,920
is one orderly who stuck around long enough to get

653
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:40,679
to know me. He knows me by name, smiles a

654
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,320
lot when he sees me, talks to me about all

655
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:47,480
sorts of things. It seems genuinely interested in me, and

656
00:45:47,559 --> 00:45:51,079
what I remember. I called him in once to get

657
00:45:51,159 --> 00:45:53,320
rid of a spider that had spun a web on

658
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,840
the window outside, and he did so with a warm smile.

659
00:45:58,159 --> 00:46:01,360
I told him I was deathly afraid of them, and

660
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:05,000
he said he already knew that, but I shouldn't be worried,

661
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,119
because he was going to keep an eye on me

662
00:46:07,679 --> 00:46:13,480
and make sure nothing bad happened. I'm glad he's around.

663
00:46:14,159 --> 00:46:17,719
Ever since he started working here, I haven't seen many

664
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:22,480
of the nasty little things hanging around my room. I

665
00:46:22,519 --> 00:46:25,920
guess he's not that bothered by them, at least not

666
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:34,000
if the cobwebs in his hair is anything to go by.

667
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:43,000
I hadn't been back to the house in almost two years,

668
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:47,559
not since I left for college. The siding was more

669
00:46:47,559 --> 00:46:51,119
weather worn than I remembered, and the porch steps creaked

670
00:46:51,199 --> 00:46:57,199
louder under my weight. Everything about it looked smaller, sun faded,

671
00:46:57,400 --> 00:47:03,760
and tired. Parents didn't live there anymore after the divorce.

672
00:47:04,119 --> 00:47:07,280
They held on to it out of some quiet mutual guilt,

673
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,280
neither one wanting to be the one to let it go.

674
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,880
But now that I was technically an adult, they said

675
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:20,000
it was time. I was only there to collect what

676
00:47:20,199 --> 00:47:24,559
was mine, a few boxes, maybe a crate of old clothes,

677
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,760
some books, and whatever junk I had left behind in

678
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:34,039
the attic. The idea was simple, go in, pack, leave,

679
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:41,199
but nothing about stepping through that door felt simple. The

680
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:44,760
living room still had that hollow smell, a mix of

681
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:48,920
dust and old couch fabric. Most of the furniture was

682
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,480
already gone, but my feet still knew where to walk

683
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:58,000
when not to. I climbed the attic ladder slowly, not

684
00:47:58,159 --> 00:48:01,199
because it was steep or broken, but because I didn't

685
00:48:01,199 --> 00:48:04,679
want to see what was up there. The attic had

686
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:10,079
always felt stuck in time. Boxes were stacked along the walls,

687
00:48:10,599 --> 00:48:14,719
all of them labeled in my mom's handwriting winter clothes,

688
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:20,119
kitchen stuff. There was one that just said toys. The

689
00:48:20,159 --> 00:48:23,320
marker had bled into the cardboard from years of moisture.

690
00:48:24,599 --> 00:48:31,320
I peeled it open and sifted through it lazily. The

691
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:35,679
first thing I saw was an odd set of plastic binoculars,

692
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,760
bright green, with one cracked lins and a faded strap.

693
00:48:41,039 --> 00:48:43,559
I remember using them in the back yard with Daniel

694
00:48:44,199 --> 00:48:48,360
calling out, but ten sightings of exotic animals shouting through

695
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:53,000
the brush like we were explorers. Beneath them, I found

696
00:48:53,039 --> 00:48:56,480
a handful of scratched hot wheel cars, still chipped in

697
00:48:56,519 --> 00:49:00,480
the exact same places I remembered. I wouldn't puzzle with

698
00:49:00,559 --> 00:49:04,599
a few pieces missing. Our old rubber snake, the one

699
00:49:04,679 --> 00:49:07,079
Daniel used to hide under my pillow when he wanted

700
00:49:07,079 --> 00:49:10,880
to mess with me. My throat caught for a second,

701
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:17,360
and I smiled without meaning too. But then I saw it,

702
00:49:17,599 --> 00:49:21,199
buried under a pile of action figures and a plastic dinosaur.

703
00:49:22,159 --> 00:49:27,360
Was the old walky talkie. My hand froze before I

704
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:31,960
even touched it. I didn't know why. It was just

705
00:49:32,039 --> 00:49:37,840
a piece of scratched metal, dusty, long since broken, but

706
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:43,760
my stomach twisted anyway, my mouth went dry. I hadn't

707
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:49,840
thought about it in years, not since Daniel. I picked

708
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:52,800
it up. It wasn't as heavy as it used to

709
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,719
be when we were kids, or maybe I'd just grown

710
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:59,840
that much. The antenna was bent sideways, and the entire

711
00:50:00,079 --> 00:50:04,119
thing was a mess. But something in my chest folded

712
00:50:04,199 --> 00:50:08,719
inward the second I held it. There was no reason

713
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:11,519
for the panic that came with it, no reason for

714
00:50:11,559 --> 00:50:16,039
my hands to start sweating. I sat with the walkie

715
00:50:16,079 --> 00:50:19,840
talkie for a long time, cross legged on the attic floor,

716
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:25,119
staring at it in my palm. A memory floating up

717
00:50:25,159 --> 00:50:31,559
without warning, Daniel's voice coming through the static of foggy recollections.

718
00:50:32,679 --> 00:50:37,400
This is Eagle too, de base over. His voice was

719
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,800
always too excited for the game I used to roll

720
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:44,119
my eyes at how seriously he took it, but I

721
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:48,280
never told him to stop. I'd play along, ducking behind

722
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:52,800
trees and whispering into my own walkie talkie, pretending I

723
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,800
couldn't see him, even when he was in plain sight.

724
00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:00,960
Our games of pretend worked so well because we believed

725
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:05,760
each other. We spent hours out there in the woods

726
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,840
behind the fence, where the trees grew close and the

727
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:12,800
ground was soft with old leaves. There was never a

728
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:16,639
question of what to play. We always went straight for

729
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:22,199
the woods, always with walky talkies. We were explorers and soldiers,

730
00:51:23,199 --> 00:51:29,239
but most importantly we were brothers. I remember his laugh

731
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:38,480
carrying through the branches. Then came the accident. I don't

732
00:51:38,519 --> 00:51:42,559
let myself think about it. Daniel snuck off into the

733
00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:47,519
woods alone, maybe chasing a bird, maybe just playing by himself.

734
00:51:49,159 --> 00:51:51,800
My parents always wondered why he'd go off on his own.

735
00:51:53,119 --> 00:51:56,159
He slipped near the creek, fell into the water, and

736
00:51:56,239 --> 00:52:00,360
couldn't get out. He died of hypothermia some time in

737
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:03,920
the early hours of the morning, before anyone noticed who

738
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:09,119
was missing. I say it the same way every time,

739
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:14,079
even though my voice gets tighter with each telling. My

740
00:52:14,199 --> 00:52:18,679
parents were shattered. They held it together for me, but

741
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:24,440
it was never the same. After the funeral, everything felt quieter.

742
00:52:26,079 --> 00:52:29,519
Nobody used the word haunted, but I felt it in

743
00:52:29,559 --> 00:52:32,199
the way they looked at the woods. In how no

744
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:37,000
one ever stepped past the back fence again. I put

745
00:52:37,039 --> 00:52:39,679
the one I found in my backpack and climbed back

746
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:43,400
down the ladder. I didn't look back at the box.

747
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:51,119
I didn't want to see anything else. The drive wasn't long,

748
00:52:51,679 --> 00:52:55,639
but my head felt heavy the entire way. I kept

749
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:59,440
glancing at my backpack in the passenger seat, half expecting

750
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:03,559
to hear some from it. The walky talkie hadn't left

751
00:53:03,599 --> 00:53:06,280
my mind since I pulled it out of that attic box.

752
00:53:07,679 --> 00:53:12,920
I couldn't explain why. I dropped the keys on the counter,

753
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:15,840
kicked off my shoes, and sat on the edge of

754
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:19,960
the couch with a walkie my hands. Again, it looked

755
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:24,119
even older under the apartment light. I flipped the switch

756
00:53:24,159 --> 00:53:28,119
on out of habit. No power, it seemed at first,

757
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:32,719
but when I held the talk button down there was

758
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:37,000
a faint hiss of static. It buzzed for a second,

759
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:43,079
then cut off. I let go, pressed it again, same thing,

760
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:50,039
just a faint buzz. The batteries should have been dead.

761
00:53:51,159 --> 00:53:54,159
That was the first thing I thought. I opened the

762
00:53:54,159 --> 00:53:57,800
back panel and slid them out. The battery compartment was

763
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:01,119
corroded a sort of green. The white crust fell out

764
00:54:01,119 --> 00:54:05,280
of the battery compartment. I let the batteries out, but

765
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:09,559
out of some weird curiosity, I pressed the talk button

766
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:19,480
again static. It was quiet and broken, but it was there.

767
00:54:21,719 --> 00:54:24,679
My thumb hovered over the button again, but I didn't

768
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,679
push it. I just set the thing down on the

769
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:32,519
edge of my desk and rubbed my eyes. Maybe the

770
00:54:32,559 --> 00:54:36,159
walkie was damaged in some way, feeding on leftover static

771
00:54:36,159 --> 00:54:40,719
from nearby frequencies. I didn't want to think about it

772
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:44,960
too much. I didn't know. I didn't care to dig

773
00:54:45,039 --> 00:54:48,599
deep into it. It was just a ghost of a toy,

774
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:54,920
nothing more. I left it on the shelf near the window.

775
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:59,320
That night, I brushed my teeth, plugged in my phone,

776
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:03,679
and got into bed. The room was quiet, except for

777
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:06,800
the occasional cars outside and the hum of the fridge

778
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:11,360
in the kitchenette. I was drifting when I heard it,

779
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:20,119
a low crackle, just for a second. I sat up, listened.

780
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:25,880
Nothing followed it. I didn't even press the talk button,

781
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:30,840
this time still. I laid back down and tried to sleep.

782
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:38,039
I told myself not to overthink it. I woke up

783
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:45,519
to static, not loud, but enough to stir me. I

784
00:55:45,639 --> 00:55:48,519
turned my head and saw the walky talkie still on

785
00:55:48,559 --> 00:55:54,159
the shelf, right where I'd left it, a thin, shallow hiss.

786
00:55:54,639 --> 00:55:59,920
Again I hadn't touched it. I sat up and stared

787
00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:03,760
it for a minute, thought about unplugging it, even though

788
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:07,920
it wasn't plugged into anything. I laughed to myself as

789
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:11,039
I reached over and dropped it into the top drawer

790
00:56:11,119 --> 00:56:15,679
of my desk, closed it gently, out of sight, out

791
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:23,440
of mind. I tried to start my day. Classes were fine.

792
00:56:23,559 --> 00:56:27,840
I half listened to lectures and nodded in the right places.

793
00:56:28,679 --> 00:56:31,440
I didn't want to admit it, but the sorrow of

794
00:56:31,519 --> 00:56:36,159
losing Daniel was hitting me all over again. I met

795
00:56:36,199 --> 00:56:39,880
up with friends in the afternoon, hung around campus, grabbed

796
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:43,480
drinks at a place near the quad. I laughed at

797
00:56:43,559 --> 00:56:47,360
jokes I didn't fully hear. By the time we were

798
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:50,760
stuffing our faces with greasy sandwiches from a cart that

799
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:54,400
only opened after the dark, I'd nearly forgotten about the

800
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:59,679
walkie talkie altogether. I stumbled back into my apartment just

801
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:03,280
before or midnight. I dropped my bag, kicked the door

802
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,000
closed on my heel, and leaned against the wall to

803
00:57:06,039 --> 00:57:11,519
get my balance. Everything felt hazy, in that warm way

804
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:16,800
that comes with drinking. Then before I could even get

805
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:24,559
my thoughts straight, I heard it again. The drawer was closed,

806
00:57:25,039 --> 00:57:29,920
but I heard the crackle. This time. It wasn't soft.

807
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:34,519
It had an edge to it, a sharpness, like something

808
00:57:34,639 --> 00:57:38,599
was trying to come through. I stood there and listened

809
00:57:38,599 --> 00:57:42,119
with a focus I didn't know I could have. While inebriated.

810
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:48,079
The sound shifted, the static dipped and broke apart, like

811
00:57:48,199 --> 00:57:54,000
wind through a microphone. There was something else under it,

812
00:57:54,199 --> 00:57:58,440
just a murmur, something too soft to make out, but

813
00:57:58,559 --> 00:58:04,079
too exact to just ignore. I practically ran over to it,

814
00:58:04,559 --> 00:58:09,039
opened the drawer and stared down at it. The walky

815
00:58:09,159 --> 00:58:12,840
talkie was cold in my hand. The noise didn't stop.

816
00:58:13,639 --> 00:58:18,679
It might have even gotten louder. It whispered under my fingers.

817
00:58:19,559 --> 00:58:23,360
I crept it tighter, waiting for something more, but it

818
00:58:23,639 --> 00:58:27,800
just kept crackling. I put it back in the drawer

819
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:30,719
and went to the bathroom to splash water my face.

820
00:58:32,199 --> 00:58:34,800
I tried my face with a towel and leaned against

821
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:39,400
the bathroom sink. My head was buzzing, but not from

822
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:44,000
the drinks. Something about that sound from the drawer had

823
00:58:44,039 --> 00:58:50,199
stuck with me. I hesitated before stepping back into the

824
00:58:50,239 --> 00:58:55,480
main room. The apartment was so quiet it felt loud.

825
00:58:56,639 --> 00:58:59,480
I closed the bathroom door behind me and walked back

826
00:58:59,519 --> 00:59:05,280
toward the The drawer was still shut. I stared at

827
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:08,599
it for a long second, then turned away to grab

828
00:59:08,639 --> 00:59:14,480
a bottle of water from the kitchen. That was when

829
00:59:14,519 --> 00:59:25,800
I heard it, clearer than anything before. Jackie. My heart stopped.

830
00:59:27,239 --> 00:59:32,039
I came from the drawer through the static, a child's voice,

831
00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:39,239
soft but watery. I froze in the middle of the room,

832
00:59:39,639 --> 00:59:44,760
bottles still in my hand. My name. No one called

833
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:50,639
me that anymore, not since I was a kid. I

834
00:59:50,719 --> 00:59:54,920
took one slow step toward the desk. The voice didn't

835
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:59,320
repeat itself. The crackle faded, but the echo of the

836
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:03,800
word was still alive in my mind. I opened the

837
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:08,639
drawer and stared down at the walkie talkie. It hadn't moved, obviously,

838
01:00:09,239 --> 01:00:13,199
and even the static was not present anymore, but I

839
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:18,920
swear the air around it felt different. I reached in

840
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:25,599
picked it up, and almost immediately dropped it. It wasn't hot,

841
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:29,960
but it felt wrong in my hand, off, like it

842
01:00:30,039 --> 01:00:34,840
remembered something I didn't. I sat down and just stared

843
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:38,800
at it on the floor. My pulse was hammering now,

844
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:44,760
and I still gave myself a million excuses. Old electronics

845
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:49,119
did weird things. It was probably feeding off static interference

846
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:54,039
or some forgotten frequency band, maybe even a neighbor's baby monitor. Somehow,

847
01:00:55,880 --> 01:01:00,079
I put the walkie talkie back in the draw. It

848
01:01:00,159 --> 01:01:06,679
didn't stop. Every time I was alone, the sound came back.

849
01:01:07,679 --> 01:01:11,880
Sometimes it was faint static, barely audible unless the room

850
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:17,159
was silent. Sometimes it was louder, the crackle building into

851
01:01:17,159 --> 01:01:21,480
a voice, just at the edge of understanding. I'd be

852
01:01:21,519 --> 01:01:25,000
brushing my teeth or pouring coffee, and I'd hear it

853
01:01:25,079 --> 01:01:34,599
behind the door, a soft, rising hiss. Then sometimes words

854
01:01:36,039 --> 01:01:43,719
why that one came through clear. I stood frozen in

855
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:47,760
my kitchen when I heard it. The voice didn't sound angry,

856
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:56,159
it didn't even sound confused, just hurt. After that, I

857
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:59,519
moved it to the hall closet. I didn't want it

858
01:01:59,599 --> 01:02:08,119
near me when I slept after it sobbed quiet and fragile.

859
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,400
I stood outside the closet and listened to the sound

860
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:16,320
of a child crying through layers of static. Not sure

861
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:20,719
if I wanted to open the door or run, I

862
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:24,400
didn't do either. I just pressed my hand to the

863
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:29,840
wood and stayed there. One night, I walked past the

864
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:33,320
closet to get to the bathroom and heard it again,

865
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:44,960
soft and unmistakable. I'm scared. I didn't go back to

866
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:50,679
sleep After that. I needed to shut it out. I

867
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:53,599
picked up extra shifts of the coffee shop. I went

868
01:02:53,679 --> 01:02:58,880
out whenever I could. I stayed in motion, worked through lunch,

869
01:02:59,199 --> 01:03:01,960
met up with friends in the evenings, smoked when I

870
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:06,360
was alone, drank when I wasn't. I told jokes, I

871
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:09,480
laughed harder than I felt. I hooked up with someone

872
01:03:09,639 --> 01:03:12,679
I didn't really want to see again, just so I

873
01:03:12,719 --> 01:03:17,159
wouldn't be alone in bed. But every time I came home,

874
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:22,760
the apartment felt heavier. I would avoid the hallway, wouldn't

875
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:26,519
even glance at the closet when I walked by. It

876
01:03:26,639 --> 01:03:30,679
was now constantly mumbling. I could hear it through my

877
01:03:30,719 --> 01:03:34,760
front door before I even entered. Not loud enough to

878
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:41,800
make out, but constant, always there. I couldn't even tell

879
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:45,760
anyone about it. What would I tell them I was

880
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:50,960
hearing children through a walky talkie. I wanted to throw

881
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:53,320
it out. I wanted to drive to the edge of

882
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:57,320
town and leave it in a ditch. But I couldn't

883
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:02,320
because it was ours. Because no matter how broken it is,

884
01:04:02,599 --> 01:04:07,119
no matter how wrong it felt, it still held pieces

885
01:04:07,159 --> 01:04:12,679
of him. We loved those walky talkies. I remembered him

886
01:04:12,719 --> 01:04:16,360
carrying his everywhere. I remembered the look on his face

887
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:21,519
when we got them. I still loved him, I always would.

888
01:04:23,599 --> 01:04:27,599
So I left it there, even though I knew something

889
01:04:27,719 --> 01:04:32,440
was wrong, even though I could feel it getting worse.

890
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:46,760
The dream started again without warning. I hadn't dreamt about

891
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:51,960
the forest in years, but now every night it pulled

892
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:56,480
me back there. The trees were always tall and imposing.

893
01:04:57,119 --> 01:04:59,960
They leaned inward, bending in ways that made the sky

894
01:05:00,039 --> 01:05:05,440
I vanish. I heard rushing water, constant and fast, but

895
01:05:05,519 --> 01:05:09,159
I could never see the creak. At first, I would

896
01:05:09,199 --> 01:05:14,719
just wonder aimlessly until it came into view. Daniel lay

897
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:19,119
in the middle of it, face down, motionless. The water

898
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,960
moved around his legs, dark and fast, tugging at the

899
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,599
hem of his soaked shirt. His arms hung stiff at

900
01:05:26,599 --> 01:05:31,559
his side, elbows slightly bent, fingers bent in unnatural ways.

901
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:36,519
The skin on his hands looked swollen, loose around the knuckles.

902
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:44,400
Eventually he would lift his head. His face was pale

903
01:05:44,519 --> 01:05:47,920
and sunken in strange places, as if parts of it

904
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:52,559
had softened and slipped beneath the surface. His cheeks bulged

905
01:05:52,599 --> 01:05:56,159
around the edges, pockets of water pressing under the skin.

906
01:05:57,320 --> 01:06:00,840
His eyes were clouded, no light in them, just a

907
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:05,199
dull gray sheen with no focus. His lips were split,

908
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:09,559
stretched back from the gums, teeth showing through like they

909
01:06:09,599 --> 01:06:14,280
hadn't been clenched for hours. Small pieces of hair clung

910
01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:18,519
to his forehead in wet clumps, plastered flat against his skin.

911
01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:25,079
Sometimes his jaw would shift slightly, twitching as if he

912
01:06:25,199 --> 01:06:30,840
was trying to speak, but couldn't remember how. Other times

913
01:06:31,519 --> 01:06:36,960
he would scream, The sound didn't match the motion. His

914
01:06:37,079 --> 01:06:40,360
mouth would barely move, yet the noise came out loud

915
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:46,079
and sharp, tearing through the forest. One night, when he

916
01:06:46,159 --> 01:06:51,039
finally did speak, it was a whisper pressed against my ears.

917
01:06:52,519 --> 01:06:59,920
It's not funny anymore. I woke up gasping, drenched in sweat.

918
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:04,119
My sheets were damp, my hands were clenched into fists

919
01:07:04,239 --> 01:07:08,079
so tight I had to pry them open. I left

920
01:07:08,079 --> 01:07:11,599
the lights on for the rest of the night. Still

921
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:17,840
I could hear the water sometimes, not just in my dreams.

922
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:22,199
The thing that would forever change me happened after a

923
01:07:22,239 --> 01:07:27,400
long night out, not long after the dream started. I'd

924
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:30,679
stayed at a friend's place too late, drank too much,

925
01:07:31,119 --> 01:07:34,199
and talked to people I barely remembered by the next morning.

926
01:07:35,519 --> 01:07:38,719
I wanted to feel normal again. I wanted to laugh

927
01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:44,400
and pretend things were fine that night. I almost pulled

928
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:48,360
it off, but when I got back to the apartment,

929
01:07:49,039 --> 01:07:54,760
something felt off, worse than usual. The hallway light was on,

930
01:07:55,840 --> 01:08:00,519
though I couldn't remember leaving it that way. Walked past

931
01:08:00,559 --> 01:08:04,000
the closet and paused, half expecting to hear the usual

932
01:08:04,079 --> 01:08:12,880
quiet mumbling. Instead, the walky talkie started screaming, not a voice,

933
01:08:13,199 --> 01:08:20,000
not words, just screaming, raw and wet. It sounded full

934
01:08:20,039 --> 01:08:25,439
of water, full of pain, stretched thin across static. My

935
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:30,039
knees buckled. I opened the closet, reached in and grabbed

936
01:08:30,079 --> 01:08:34,760
it without thinking. The sound poured out of it, too

937
01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:39,760
loud for something that small. I slammed it against the wall.

938
01:08:41,520 --> 01:08:47,399
The screaming stopped. I stood in the middle of the

939
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:51,359
hall with my chest heaving. I felt sober in a

940
01:08:51,399 --> 01:08:55,079
way that made my skin itch. Bits of plastic and

941
01:08:55,159 --> 01:08:59,840
wire scattered across the floor. The casing was cracked into

942
01:09:00,079 --> 01:09:08,840
one half, still buzzing faintly. I couldn't sleep. I felt guilty,

943
01:09:09,159 --> 01:09:13,000
and so with shaking hands, I picked up the pieces

944
01:09:13,319 --> 01:09:16,880
and brought them back to my bedroom. I taped the

945
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:20,680
body back together, wrapped the antenna with duct tape, did

946
01:09:20,720 --> 01:09:24,640
whatever I could to make it whole again. It didn't

947
01:09:24,680 --> 01:09:30,439
take much. The second had held shape, even loosely. The

948
01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:41,199
speaker crackled. Then came the voice, please come back, Jackie,

949
01:09:41,439 --> 01:09:46,279
and the screaming started again. It blared through the speaker

950
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:50,960
so loud I nearly dropped it. Not words, just the wet,

951
01:09:51,199 --> 01:09:56,680
broken scream stretched until it didn't sound human. It tore

952
01:09:56,800 --> 01:10:00,439
through the room and pushed into my skull, the sound

953
01:10:00,479 --> 01:10:04,000
of someone drowning with her mouth open. I tried to

954
01:10:04,039 --> 01:10:07,960
turn the knob, nothing happened. I flipped the switch off

955
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:16,920
and on again. No change. It kept screaming. I stumbled backward,

956
01:10:17,199 --> 01:10:20,880
clutching the thing like it might burn me. The scream

957
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:25,359
dipped for a moment, then shifted. It didn't stop, but

958
01:10:25,439 --> 01:10:33,000
it changed into something worse. Where are you Danny? The

959
01:10:33,119 --> 01:10:37,079
voice was sharp, now, a child's voice trying to speak

960
01:10:37,119 --> 01:10:42,560
through water. The speaker gurgled with every syllable. My hands

961
01:10:42,560 --> 01:10:46,439
were shaking so badly I could barely hold the walkie.

962
01:10:46,960 --> 01:10:49,479
I set it down on the desk, but the noise

963
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:56,800
didn't stop. I'm scared, it said again. I'm scared again,

964
01:10:57,399 --> 01:11:02,800
I'm scared. I packed away. My shoulders hit the edge

965
01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:06,840
of the door frame. My chest felt tight. I could

966
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:11,119
hear my own breathing rising over the static, but the

967
01:11:11,239 --> 01:11:22,239
voice kept going. Then everything stopped silence. Three slow knocks

968
01:11:22,239 --> 01:11:27,479
against my bedroom door, my bedroom, just inches from where

969
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:34,000
I stood. The knocks came again, slower this time. Then

970
01:11:34,239 --> 01:11:39,039
came the dripping, A soft, steady tap tapping on the

971
01:11:39,079 --> 01:11:43,920
floorboards right outside the door. I couldn't see it, but

972
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:48,920
I could hear it, and somehow that was worse. I

973
01:11:48,920 --> 01:11:53,319
imagined bare feet standing on soaked wood. I imagined water

974
01:11:53,479 --> 01:11:57,000
running down the other side of the door. I stared

975
01:11:57,039 --> 01:12:02,359
at the handle, convinced it would start turning, And right

976
01:12:02,399 --> 01:12:06,039
before I felt it would, the memories all came back

977
01:12:06,079 --> 01:12:09,279
in a rush, not as a clean memory or a

978
01:12:09,279 --> 01:12:13,079
full scene, but as a sinking way to my chest,

979
01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:16,399
a sharp crack in the middle of my thoughts that

980
01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:24,399
forced everything else to fall through. We had snuck out

981
01:12:24,439 --> 01:12:28,960
that night. I was the one who planned it, the

982
01:12:28,960 --> 01:12:32,000
one who whispered the idea had crossed the room while

983
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:36,600
her parents slept behind the wall. Daniel had been hesitant,

984
01:12:37,319 --> 01:12:40,720
always more careful than I was. But when I showed

985
01:12:40,760 --> 01:12:43,439
him the flashlights and told him it would just be

986
01:12:43,479 --> 01:12:46,119
a few minutes, just a quick game in the woods,

987
01:12:47,079 --> 01:12:53,680
he nodded and smiled and followed me without asking any questions.

988
01:12:54,479 --> 01:13:01,000
He always followed me, even when he shouldn't have. We

989
01:13:01,039 --> 01:13:03,720
went through the back fence the way we always had,

990
01:13:04,199 --> 01:13:07,399
through the loose panel near the shed, and stepped into

991
01:13:07,439 --> 01:13:11,039
the woods, with our lights flicking ahead of us, our

992
01:13:11,079 --> 01:13:14,359
sneakers pushed through wet grass and the sound of night

993
01:13:14,479 --> 01:13:18,359
pressing in from all sides. I remember the way his

994
01:13:18,479 --> 01:13:22,079
laugh bounced between the trees, how it made everything feel

995
01:13:22,159 --> 01:13:25,600
safe for a little while. He and I loved the

996
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:30,600
idea of sneaking out. Being mischievous. He kept his walkie

997
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:34,479
talkie pressed to his mouth, calling out dumb nicknames trying

998
01:13:34,479 --> 01:13:38,239
to sound official, trying to make it into a real mission.

999
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:42,640
I teased him for it, tell him he needed to

1000
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:49,760
stop acting like a baby. He just laughed again. At

1001
01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:53,159
some point I told him we should play hide and seek,

1002
01:13:53,760 --> 01:13:56,399
that he'd counter thirty and he had to find me,

1003
01:13:56,960 --> 01:14:00,720
and that we wouldn't leave until he did. Promised I

1004
01:14:00,720 --> 01:14:04,399
wouldn't make it too hard for him. He grinned at

1005
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:07,720
the idea and bolted into the underbrush with his flashlight,

1006
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:12,119
swinging side to side, shouting I'm going to start counting now.

1007
01:14:12,760 --> 01:14:17,359
As his voice disappeared behind the trees, I turned off

1008
01:14:17,359 --> 01:14:21,760
my flashlight and walked in the opposite direction, not into

1009
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:26,560
the woods, but out through the fence, across the yard,

1010
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:31,399
and straight into the house. I wanted to mess with him,

1011
01:14:32,039 --> 01:14:35,560
just a little. I wanted to scare him, let him

1012
01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:38,880
call through the walkie talkie and get no response, let

1013
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:41,119
him think I was hiding from him while I lay

1014
01:14:41,159 --> 01:14:47,680
warm in my bed. At the time, it felt harmless, funny,

1015
01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:51,680
even I remember thinking I was teaching him something that

1016
01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:57,239
he needed to toughen up. I left him out there.

1017
01:14:58,640 --> 01:15:01,960
I climbed into bed, pulled the covers over my head,

1018
01:15:02,319 --> 01:15:06,159
and waited for him to break character. I expected to

1019
01:15:06,199 --> 01:15:09,399
hear the door creak open, hearing come stomping in with

1020
01:15:09,439 --> 01:15:12,560
fake anger in his voice. I thought i'd hear the

1021
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:16,439
walkie talkie chirp with one of his goofy catchphrases, some

1022
01:15:16,600 --> 01:15:24,199
dramatic line about how he'd survived the mission. Instead I

1023
01:15:24,279 --> 01:15:29,760
heard static. The walkie talkie was in my hands, turned

1024
01:15:29,760 --> 01:15:34,359
to his frequency. It was just fuzz at first, cutting

1025
01:15:34,479 --> 01:15:39,840
in and out, but then something else pushed through and

1026
01:15:39,840 --> 01:15:43,199
I couldn't make out the words. Then it didn't sound clear,

1027
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:48,199
just wet and broken, full of wind and distance, her

1028
01:15:48,279 --> 01:15:54,760
voice trying to climb through a storm. I fell asleep

1029
01:15:55,119 --> 01:16:00,000
listening to it. I don't remember when the sound stopped,

1030
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:03,479
only that I was holding the radio when the sun

1031
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:08,520
came through the blinds now standing in my room, with

1032
01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:11,720
a dripping still faintly echoing from the other side of

1033
01:16:11,760 --> 01:16:14,680
the door, and the walky talkie pulsing with heat in

1034
01:16:14,760 --> 01:16:19,720
my hand. I understood exactly what it had been saying.

1035
01:16:21,279 --> 01:16:25,000
Those broken phrases, the things I had been hearing for weeks.

1036
01:16:26,479 --> 01:16:31,560
They weren't new. I had heard them that night. I

1037
01:16:31,640 --> 01:16:37,840
had just chosen to forget. I didn't realize I was

1038
01:16:37,880 --> 01:16:41,359
crying until my voice cracked so hard it collapsed in

1039
01:16:41,439 --> 01:16:44,680
my throat. I dropped to the floor with the walk

1040
01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:48,399
He pressed against my mouth and shouted into it. I

1041
01:16:48,479 --> 01:16:51,560
screamed until spit filled the corners of my mouth, and

1042
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:55,359
my voice came out hoarse and shaking. I screamed his

1043
01:16:55,520 --> 01:16:59,479
name over and over. Told him I was sorry, told

1044
01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:02,840
him I was coward, told him he didn't deserve what

1045
01:17:02,960 --> 01:17:05,960
I did. Told him I never stopped thinking about him,

1046
01:17:06,279 --> 01:17:09,640
even when I tried to forget. I told him I

1047
01:17:09,680 --> 01:17:12,800
was wrong, that I knew I was wrong, that I

1048
01:17:12,880 --> 01:17:15,960
left him there because I thought I was better, thought

1049
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:21,520
I was clever, thought it was just a joke. My

1050
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:26,359
face was soaked, my cheeks, my chin, my neck. Snot

1051
01:17:26,439 --> 01:17:29,279
ran from my nose without stopping, and I didn't wipe

1052
01:17:29,319 --> 01:17:33,920
it away. My chest ached, my stomach folded in on itself,

1053
01:17:34,960 --> 01:17:39,079
and I kept crying until I couldn't breathe right. I

1054
01:17:39,119 --> 01:17:41,920
clutched the walkie like you could hear me better if

1055
01:17:41,960 --> 01:17:45,760
I held it tighter. I held it until my knuckles

1056
01:17:45,760 --> 01:17:50,239
were pale and to my palms started to cramp. Every

1057
01:17:50,319 --> 01:17:54,560
apology came out heavier than the last. Every word spilling

1058
01:17:54,600 --> 01:17:58,720
through clenched teeth, my body shaking under the weight of it.

1059
01:18:01,479 --> 01:18:08,840
The walkie talkie went quiet, and outside the door the

1060
01:18:08,960 --> 01:18:15,119
drippings stopped. I sat there in that silence, gasping for air,

1061
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:19,119
pulling it in through teeth, as if oxygen could push

1062
01:18:19,199 --> 01:18:22,680
down the guilt, as if saying sorry one more time

1063
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:28,119
could rewind anything. I don't know how long I stayed

1064
01:18:28,199 --> 01:18:33,840
like that, minutes, maybe hours. Time didn't move the same.

1065
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:38,880
I didn't notice when the world went still. I only

1066
01:18:38,960 --> 01:18:46,680
knew I hadn't moved and didn't want to. But I

1067
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:52,159
kept speaking. I kept whispering into the walkie even after

1068
01:18:52,239 --> 01:18:56,720
the sound died. I whispered apologies until my throat gave out.

1069
01:18:57,399 --> 01:19:00,399
I said his name until the word didn't sound real anymore.

1070
01:19:01,279 --> 01:19:04,079
I begged him not to hate me. I begged him

1071
01:19:04,079 --> 01:19:07,399
to believe I didn't mean it, even though I had

1072
01:19:07,399 --> 01:19:11,840
walked away on purpose. The tears kept coming until I

1073
01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:16,279
had nothing left, until the words stopped forming. My lips

1074
01:19:16,319 --> 01:19:20,000
moved without sound, my head slumped forward against the floor,

1075
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:27,720
and somewhere in that endless, awful stillness, I fell asleep.

1076
01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:37,319
When I woke up, my eyes were crusted shut, and

1077
01:19:37,359 --> 01:19:40,359
the light bleeding through the window was cold and gray.

1078
01:19:41,520 --> 01:19:45,239
My mouth was dry, my back stiff, and the walky

1079
01:19:45,319 --> 01:19:50,720
talkie was still pressed between my fingers. I sat up, slowly,

1080
01:19:51,359 --> 01:19:54,159
wiped my nose with a sleeve form my shirt, and

1081
01:19:54,319 --> 01:19:59,079
stared at the bedroom door. I didn't want to open it,

1082
01:20:00,439 --> 01:20:07,159
but I did. Right outside the threshold, the wood floor

1083
01:20:07,319 --> 01:20:12,960
was soaked. A single puddle stretched across the boards. No trail,

1084
01:20:13,279 --> 01:20:20,359
no sauce, just water, clear, still and shining faintly under

1085
01:20:20,399 --> 01:20:24,880
the morning light. I wiped the morning from my eyes

1086
01:20:25,600 --> 01:20:31,319
and finally decided to confront it all. I went back

1087
01:20:31,439 --> 01:20:37,119
to our family house one more time. I didn't turn

1088
01:20:37,199 --> 01:20:40,800
any lights on. When I stepped inside, the air was stale,

1089
01:20:41,239 --> 01:20:44,479
and the carpet still held as scent of whatever candles

1090
01:20:44,479 --> 01:20:48,279
my mum used to burn near the holidays. I walked

1091
01:20:48,319 --> 01:20:51,439
through the quiet halls, past the photos on the wall,

1092
01:20:51,840 --> 01:20:55,039
past the coat hooks that held nothing, and into the

1093
01:20:55,079 --> 01:20:58,840
living room, where the furniture had already been taken out.

1094
01:21:00,319 --> 01:21:03,279
The only thing left was the echo of what used

1095
01:21:03,279 --> 01:21:08,000
to be there. I sat down on the hardwood floor,

1096
01:21:08,920 --> 01:21:12,439
my legs ached from the walk, my chest heavier than

1097
01:21:12,479 --> 01:21:15,800
it had been in days. I set the walky talking

1098
01:21:15,880 --> 01:21:20,640
on the floor in front of me. I'm sorry, Danny,

1099
01:21:21,680 --> 01:21:26,479
I was a fool. I walked out into the woods

1100
01:21:26,520 --> 01:21:30,319
the next morning. The fence behind the shed was still loose,

1101
01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:34,239
the boards still slightly detached where we used to sneak through.

1102
01:21:35,359 --> 01:21:38,520
It hadn't changed, though the yard behind me had turned

1103
01:21:38,520 --> 01:21:42,920
brown from neglect. I slipped between the trees with the

1104
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:47,199
walkie in my coat pocket, stepping over fallen branches and

1105
01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:53,720
patches of soft, sun choked moss. I found the spot easily.

1106
01:21:55,279 --> 01:21:57,760
I pulled the walkie out and held it for a

1107
01:21:57,760 --> 01:22:02,239
while without saying anything. The plastic had softened from the

1108
01:22:02,279 --> 01:22:06,279
cracks the tape holding it together, beginning to peel at

1109
01:22:06,319 --> 01:22:11,399
the edges. I looked down at it and said his name.

1110
01:22:13,239 --> 01:22:19,640
Then I said I was sorry, one last time, as

1111
01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:25,000
if he heard me. The static finally stopped, and it

1112
01:22:25,039 --> 01:22:30,640
felt like it had stopped for good. I knelt and

1113
01:22:30,720 --> 01:22:33,840
dug a small hole beneath the root of a tree,

1114
01:22:34,279 --> 01:22:38,760
not deep, just enough to place the walking inside. I

1115
01:22:38,840 --> 01:22:42,159
covered it with soil, pressed the dirt down with my hands,

1116
01:22:42,800 --> 01:22:45,520
and sat there with my back against the tree trunk.

1117
01:22:47,319 --> 01:22:54,680
There were no prayers or closure, only silence. A wind

1118
01:22:54,840 --> 01:22:59,239
moved through the branches. The leaves overhead swayed gently, the

1119
01:22:59,359 --> 01:23:03,199
sound brush the top of the trees. I sat there

1120
01:23:03,720 --> 01:23:06,279
until I couldn't feel the weight in my chest anymore,

1121
01:23:07,039 --> 01:23:14,920
and everything inside of me emptied out. I go back

1122
01:23:14,920 --> 01:23:19,840
there sometimes, not for guilt or out of fear. I

1123
01:23:19,920 --> 01:23:23,359
sit with a tree and the dirt, the same ground

1124
01:23:23,439 --> 01:23:30,000
where we once played. And I talked to him, And

1125
01:23:30,079 --> 01:23:47,439
when I do, I imagine he's somewhere close by, listening. My

1126
01:23:47,520 --> 01:23:50,680
mom's flight was at six am, and she was already

1127
01:23:50,720 --> 01:23:54,359
running late. I was half asleep in the passenger seat,

1128
01:23:54,439 --> 01:23:58,760
with the backpack crammed between my knees. She sped down

1129
01:23:58,760 --> 01:24:02,640
the dark back roads. The sky was on fire. Her

1130
01:24:02,640 --> 01:24:06,520
phone kept buzzing with worky mouths lighting up the dash.

1131
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:11,680
She didn't even glance at them. Just a couple of nights,

1132
01:24:12,159 --> 01:24:15,319
she said, for the third time, more to herself than me.

1133
01:24:16,399 --> 01:24:22,720
I'll be back Monday. Be good for Grandma. Okay, I grunted.

1134
01:24:23,880 --> 01:24:27,720
I was sixteen, not exactly in need of a babysitter,

1135
01:24:28,239 --> 01:24:33,560
but apparently Grandma insisted. She said he was important that

1136
01:24:33,680 --> 01:24:38,800
she misses you. Her fingers tightened on the wheel, and honestly,

1137
01:24:39,479 --> 01:24:43,560
I didn't have a lot of other options. That last

1138
01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:47,960
part rang truer. Since the divorce, it had just been

1139
01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:51,239
the two of us, Mom juggling two jobs and a

1140
01:24:51,279 --> 01:24:57,119
thousand stress headaches. Grandma's place had always been the full back, quiet,

1141
01:24:57,479 --> 01:25:01,680
old out in the sticks. My biggest gripe was no

1142
01:25:01,840 --> 01:25:05,439
Wi Fi, just trees and the sound of wind that

1143
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:10,000
never quite felt like wind. We pulled into the gravel

1144
01:25:10,079 --> 01:25:14,439
driveway just after dusk. The porch like buzzed above the steps,

1145
01:25:14,840 --> 01:25:19,920
flickering once like it always did. Grandma's house hadn't changed

1146
01:25:19,960 --> 01:25:23,840
from the outside. It had the same old wooden siding.

1147
01:25:24,359 --> 01:25:27,520
The paint faded to a memory of blue. The wind

1148
01:25:27,600 --> 01:25:30,640
chimes clinked on a breeze that didn't touch the trees.

1149
01:25:32,159 --> 01:25:34,760
Mom sat in the car a moment longer than usual.

1150
01:25:36,720 --> 01:25:41,800
She's been acting a little different lately, she said, not

1151
01:25:41,920 --> 01:25:50,279
looking at me. Probably nothing, just humorer. Okay. I raised

1152
01:25:50,279 --> 01:25:56,560
an eyebrow, like dementia different or emminent death different. My

1153
01:25:56,640 --> 01:26:00,760
mother gave me a sour look. Be nice, was all

1154
01:26:00,880 --> 01:26:06,600
she said. We didn't bring much, just a backpack with clothes,

1155
01:26:06,880 --> 01:26:11,119
my toothbrush, and my charger. When Grandma entered the door

1156
01:26:11,199 --> 01:26:14,600
in her usual house slippers, cardigan, and her hair in

1157
01:26:14,640 --> 01:26:18,079
a loose bun. She hugged me tight and smelled like

1158
01:26:18,199 --> 01:26:23,840
mothballs and lavender, as expected. But when I stepped into

1159
01:26:23,880 --> 01:26:28,520
the living room, something felt wrong. I couldn't place it.

1160
01:26:28,560 --> 01:26:32,680
At first. The furniture was all where it belonged, though

1161
01:26:32,680 --> 01:26:36,000
maybe shifted slightly, like someone had tried to memorize the

1162
01:26:36,079 --> 01:26:41,439
layout but got a few inches wrong. Then I saw

1163
01:26:41,479 --> 01:26:47,079
the wall above the fireplace was a square outline, paler

1164
01:26:47,119 --> 01:26:51,199
than the surrounding paint, the mark something leaves after hanging

1165
01:26:51,239 --> 01:26:58,079
in one spot for years. Weird but not alarming. When

1166
01:26:58,119 --> 01:27:00,920
sitting down to eat, I went to get some cutlery.

1167
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:05,600
The kitchen had plastic forks in the drawer, no spoons.

1168
01:27:06,119 --> 01:27:10,399
Anything metal was gone. Even the sink forcet was wrapped

1169
01:27:10,399 --> 01:27:14,239
in tape, dulling the shine. The knob on the cabinets

1170
01:27:14,239 --> 01:27:18,239
had been replaced with these strange wooden ones, screwed and crooked.

1171
01:27:19,640 --> 01:27:23,399
I asked if she needed help finding a fors She

1172
01:27:23,600 --> 01:27:28,640
just looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

1173
01:27:28,680 --> 01:27:33,760
These work fine, she said, handing me a bent plastic spark.

1174
01:27:35,680 --> 01:27:39,079
I waited for her to laugh or smile some kind

1175
01:27:39,079 --> 01:27:43,640
of joke, but she just went on preparing tea, humming

1176
01:27:43,720 --> 01:27:48,159
tunelessly under her breath, like this was a normal behavior

1177
01:27:48,399 --> 01:27:56,560
over a quiet meal. Dinner was edible, something gray with

1178
01:27:56,680 --> 01:28:00,000
peas in it, not the usual home cooked meal made

1179
01:28:00,119 --> 01:28:04,520
with love. She asked me questions about school, but kept

1180
01:28:04,520 --> 01:28:08,199
forgetting the answers I'd just given. She called me by

1181
01:28:08,199 --> 01:28:12,560
my uncle's name once, even though he'd been dead for years.

1182
01:28:13,319 --> 01:28:17,239
I led it slide. I figured she was just getting

1183
01:28:17,239 --> 01:28:22,479
old or tired. But that night, after brushing my teeth,

1184
01:28:23,199 --> 01:28:26,479
I looked up, expecting to see myself in the bathroom mirror,

1185
01:28:28,600 --> 01:28:34,439
except there wasn't one. A wooden board had been nailed

1186
01:28:34,479 --> 01:28:38,840
over it, cleanly cut to fit the frame, smooth and sanded,

1187
01:28:39,359 --> 01:28:44,039
no sign of damage. It stared back at me, flat

1188
01:28:44,079 --> 01:28:49,399
and blank, as if daring me to ask questions, and

1189
01:28:49,520 --> 01:28:59,159
I did, just, not out loud, not yet. I woke

1190
01:28:59,239 --> 01:29:01,720
up early than it next morning, the way you do

1191
01:29:01,840 --> 01:29:06,520
in a house that isn't yours, disoriented automatically, trying to

1192
01:29:06,520 --> 01:29:08,960
figure out where the creaky spots and the floor are

1193
01:29:09,159 --> 01:29:12,720
so you don't wake anyone. The sun was just barely

1194
01:29:12,800 --> 01:29:16,319
leaking in through the blinds, casting a sickly yellow tint

1195
01:29:16,479 --> 01:29:21,079
over everything. I wondered the house a little, half out

1196
01:29:21,119 --> 01:29:26,720
of boredom, half looking for breakfast. After that mission proved fruitless,

1197
01:29:27,319 --> 01:29:30,279
I flopped on the old living room couch, flicking through

1198
01:29:30,319 --> 01:29:33,920
my phone, trying to ignore the growing knees in my chest.

1199
01:29:35,199 --> 01:29:37,439
I thought about taking a selfie, just to send a

1200
01:29:37,520 --> 01:29:43,000
mom proof of life, but I didn't. I just couldn't

1201
01:29:43,039 --> 01:29:46,000
bring myself to like I'd be lying if I said

1202
01:29:46,000 --> 01:29:51,000
things were all right. Instead, I tried to entertain myself

1203
01:29:51,079 --> 01:29:54,199
with whatever I'd saved in my camera roll. Since all

1204
01:29:54,239 --> 01:29:58,680
the apps were just spinning circles without Internet, my brain

1205
01:29:58,760 --> 01:30:01,680
must have been numbing from bord them, because when I

1206
01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:06,319
rolled over, my phone slipped from my hand. It bounced

1207
01:30:06,319 --> 01:30:09,600
on the soft carpet and slid partly under the couch.

1208
01:30:11,399 --> 01:30:13,680
I lay down to try catch's edge in the gap,

1209
01:30:14,079 --> 01:30:16,800
hoping my fingers would be thin enough to slide it out,

1210
01:30:17,640 --> 01:30:20,279
but I ended up just pushing it further in each

1211
01:30:20,359 --> 01:30:25,039
time I tried. I didn't want to move the whole thing,

1212
01:30:25,920 --> 01:30:29,319
so I found a long, thin stick to sweep under

1213
01:30:29,359 --> 01:30:36,159
and scoop it out. However, alongside my phone, a penny

1214
01:30:36,479 --> 01:30:39,199
and a few old pieces of stale popcorn popped out.

1215
01:30:40,319 --> 01:30:43,560
I pulled out a small shoud of something curved and dusty.

1216
01:30:45,079 --> 01:30:48,840
It was the corner of a smashed mirror. The reflection

1217
01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:52,920
in it was warped and smeared. It must have slid

1218
01:30:53,000 --> 01:30:55,880
under there when the living room mirror was removed and

1219
01:30:56,000 --> 01:30:59,920
stayed hidden. But I could see myself in the reflection,

1220
01:31:00,079 --> 01:31:04,840
and just for a split second, I thought I saw

1221
01:31:04,920 --> 01:31:08,800
something else behind me too, something standing in the hallway.

1222
01:31:10,199 --> 01:31:15,760
But when I looked up, the hallway was empty. I

1223
01:31:15,880 --> 01:31:23,239
decided to hide the shard just in case. That afternoon

1224
01:31:23,359 --> 01:31:27,279
she made lunch, if you could call it that. It

1225
01:31:27,399 --> 01:31:30,680
was a bowl of pale broth, thin and gray, like

1226
01:31:30,720 --> 01:31:34,520
something strained from boiled bones. The meat floating in it

1227
01:31:34,560 --> 01:31:38,119
looked pink in place, as it shouldn't be. I poked

1228
01:31:38,119 --> 01:31:42,000
it with a spark and asked what it was. She

1229
01:31:42,079 --> 01:31:49,920
just smiled and said the usual. I didn't push, just

1230
01:31:50,039 --> 01:31:52,720
pretended to eat and flushed most of it when she

1231
01:31:52,840 --> 01:31:57,479
wasn't locking. The rest of the day passed slowly quiet.

1232
01:31:58,560 --> 01:32:05,039
I tried texting Mom, but she didn't answer, probably busy still,

1233
01:32:05,560 --> 01:32:10,960
I caught myself checking every Fifteen minutes later, we sat

1234
01:32:11,000 --> 01:32:15,159
together in the den. The TV was still covered, and

1235
01:32:15,199 --> 01:32:18,439
when I asked if we could watch something, Grandma just

1236
01:32:18,479 --> 01:32:23,880
shook her head. Oh, Jerry, I thought you hated television,

1237
01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:32,039
She said, Jerry, it's not my name. That was my father.

1238
01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:40,840
I blinked, you mean me, I'm not. She tilted her head.

1239
01:32:41,479 --> 01:32:46,319
Of course, of course you're not. Her eyes stayed on

1240
01:32:46,399 --> 01:32:49,079
me too long after that, like she was trying to

1241
01:32:49,119 --> 01:32:54,680
remember something she never really knew. That night, at dinner,

1242
01:32:55,279 --> 01:32:59,640
she said Mom had just been by yesterday, dropped off

1243
01:32:59,640 --> 01:33:04,000
a bast she told me, motioning toward a countertop that

1244
01:33:04,119 --> 01:33:11,239
was very obviously empty. You didn't see her. I didn't

1245
01:33:11,239 --> 01:33:14,920
say anything, just nodded and looked at the dry tile

1246
01:33:15,039 --> 01:33:19,319
where the basket definitely hadn't been. Not to mention the

1247
01:33:19,359 --> 01:33:23,399
fact that my mom had flown away. She couldn't just

1248
01:33:23,479 --> 01:33:29,000
drop by. I started watching her more carefully, notice the

1249
01:33:29,000 --> 01:33:32,439
way she shuffled down hallways, like she was tracing steps

1250
01:33:32,439 --> 01:33:37,079
she'd memorized. It was around eleven p m. When I

1251
01:33:37,159 --> 01:33:43,039
finally turned in. I locked my door, just being cautious,

1252
01:33:44,359 --> 01:33:49,359
That's what I told myself. But at some point I

1253
01:33:49,439 --> 01:33:53,720
woke up. Where you're still mostly in a dream, but

1254
01:33:53,800 --> 01:34:01,520
I heard something breathing right outside my door. It was

1255
01:34:01,560 --> 01:34:08,159
steady and slow, like someone waiting. I didn't move. The

1256
01:34:08,239 --> 01:34:12,239
sound stayed for a long time. Then the floor creaked once,

1257
01:34:14,399 --> 01:34:20,159
and it was gone. I slid the cracked mirror shard

1258
01:34:20,199 --> 01:34:22,640
from where I hid it, wrapped it in a shirt,

1259
01:34:22,920 --> 01:34:26,800
tucked it under my bed. I waited until she was asleep.

1260
01:34:27,560 --> 01:34:31,720
At least I hoped she was asleep. I crept through

1261
01:34:31,720 --> 01:34:34,079
the house with a mirror shard hidden in my sleeve,

1262
01:34:34,680 --> 01:34:38,560
careful not to let it catch too much light. Every

1263
01:34:38,640 --> 01:34:42,800
floorboard grow louder than I remembered, and every shadow stretched

1264
01:34:42,800 --> 01:34:46,720
too long. When I moved, the living room was first.

1265
01:34:47,920 --> 01:34:51,279
I stood in the center and slowly tilted the shard

1266
01:34:51,359 --> 01:34:58,760
to glance over my shoulder. The air shifted in the shard.

1267
01:34:59,159 --> 01:35:06,640
The room locked wrong, same layout, same furniture, but it

1268
01:35:06,720 --> 01:35:10,319
was like someone had re drawn it from memory badly.

1269
01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:15,039
The angles didn't add up. The wallpaper curled in ways

1270
01:35:15,039 --> 01:35:20,359
that defied gravity. The ceiling van hung limp unmoving, even

1271
01:35:20,399 --> 01:35:24,720
though I could feel it turning above me. No sound

1272
01:35:24,840 --> 01:35:29,279
came through the glass, like the reflection was holding its breath.

1273
01:35:31,000 --> 01:35:33,760
In the dining room, the chairs were all facing the

1274
01:35:33,760 --> 01:35:38,000
wrong direction. I spilled glass of water, sat frozen mid

1275
01:35:38,039 --> 01:35:41,840
splash on the table. The windows were smeared with something dark.

1276
01:35:43,319 --> 01:35:48,119
I kept moving, checking each space, quick glances into the shard.

1277
01:35:48,199 --> 01:35:52,560
As I moved. The hallway was narrower in the reflection,

1278
01:35:53,199 --> 01:35:57,479
lined with doors that weren't there before, stacked and stacked

1279
01:35:57,479 --> 01:36:02,399
and stacked, some of them slightly jar. I never dared

1280
01:36:02,399 --> 01:36:05,119
to look too long at any of them, and sure

1281
01:36:05,159 --> 01:36:09,600
of how I'd even do so. In the upstairs guest room,

1282
01:36:10,039 --> 01:36:13,159
the reflection showed all the toys in the closet turned

1283
01:36:13,159 --> 01:36:18,079
toward the door, as if waiting. The bathroom had no mirror,

1284
01:36:18,119 --> 01:36:21,600
of course, but in the shard, the wall where the

1285
01:36:21,640 --> 01:36:24,640
mirror used to be pled light from behind the wood,

1286
01:36:25,279 --> 01:36:30,600
as if it was straining to come through the entire time,

1287
01:36:30,720 --> 01:36:35,439
I moved quietly, listening for her, But the house was

1288
01:36:35,479 --> 01:36:41,560
dead silent. That only made it worse. There was only

1289
01:36:41,600 --> 01:36:48,560
one place I hadn't checked, the basement. Grandma never went

1290
01:36:48,600 --> 01:36:52,239
down there. The door was always locked, and the key,

1291
01:36:52,880 --> 01:36:57,079
a rusted, old skeleton key, hung above the fridge. I

1292
01:36:57,159 --> 01:37:00,960
waited until I was sure I wouldn't be heard, then

1293
01:37:01,239 --> 01:37:06,239
slid it free. The door creaked louder than anything else

1294
01:37:06,279 --> 01:37:15,039
in the house. I winced, waited nothing. I opened it

1295
01:37:15,199 --> 01:37:20,199
and slipped down into the dark. The basement was cold,

1296
01:37:20,840 --> 01:37:24,640
it smelled like wet wood and mildew. But more than that,

1297
01:37:25,399 --> 01:37:27,479
it fell off in a way the rest of the

1298
01:37:27,560 --> 01:37:32,800
house hadn't wrong in the way it felt arranged, very

1299
01:37:32,840 --> 01:37:35,760
similar to the oddities I saw in the reflections around

1300
01:37:35,760 --> 01:37:41,560
this house, but now I was standing in it. There

1301
01:37:41,600 --> 01:37:43,640
was a wooden chair in the center of the room,

1302
01:37:43,920 --> 01:37:47,800
with nothing else around it, just the chair and frayed

1303
01:37:47,880 --> 01:37:51,760
ropes still wrapped loosely around the arms and legs. Deep

1304
01:37:51,840 --> 01:37:55,239
grooves scratched into the floor beneath it, like someone had

1305
01:37:55,239 --> 01:38:01,600
been struggling recently. But in the mirror shap god an

1306
01:38:01,840 --> 01:38:07,199
ordinary looking basement. Boxes were stacked neatly along the walls.

1307
01:38:07,600 --> 01:38:12,000
The paint wasn't peeling. It was a quiet, normal basement,

1308
01:38:12,880 --> 01:38:16,600
a version of the room that should have been. I

1309
01:38:16,640 --> 01:38:20,760
pulled the shower down and looked again, still the same

1310
01:38:20,920 --> 01:38:26,079
rotted room. The reflections had all been twisted versions of

1311
01:38:26,199 --> 01:38:30,199
my world, but the basement was the only one where

1312
01:38:30,199 --> 01:38:34,000
the reflection looked real, like this version of the basement,

1313
01:38:34,359 --> 01:38:39,439
the one I was standing in was the fake. I

1314
01:38:39,479 --> 01:38:42,680
stuffed the mirrorshard into my pocket and quietly made my

1315
01:38:42,760 --> 01:38:45,880
way to the front door. I didn't even bother with

1316
01:38:45,960 --> 01:38:51,640
my shoes, just wanted air space, a normal tree, something

1317
01:38:51,680 --> 01:38:55,359
that didn't twist when I wasn't looking at it. I

1318
01:38:55,399 --> 01:39:03,279
gripped the handle, turned it and nothing. It wasn't locked.

1319
01:39:03,840 --> 01:39:09,039
The mechanism clicked normally, but the door wouldn't move, like

1320
01:39:09,119 --> 01:39:13,079
something was holding it. Shot from the outside, it didn't

1321
01:39:13,079 --> 01:39:17,119
even rattle when shaken. I looked out of the side window.

1322
01:39:18,720 --> 01:39:24,720
The world beyond the glass rippled faintly but unmistakably, like

1323
01:39:24,880 --> 01:39:30,039
heat haz only thicker. The tree trunks shimmered, warping at

1324
01:39:30,039 --> 01:39:33,520
their edges. The leaves fluttered in loops that didn't match

1325
01:39:33,560 --> 01:39:37,479
the wind. I couldn't feel. It looked exactly like the

1326
01:39:37,560 --> 01:39:41,439
house did in the mirror shard. I pressed my forehead

1327
01:39:41,479 --> 01:39:45,960
to the glass and looked up. The sky was wrung too,

1328
01:39:46,239 --> 01:39:49,239
slightly off collar like it had been painted just the

1329
01:39:49,399 --> 01:39:53,159
shade too gray, and the clouds had forgotten how to move.

1330
01:39:55,520 --> 01:40:00,159
I realized I hadn't heard a single bird, no passing cars,

1331
01:40:00,359 --> 01:40:09,000
no wind, just the house and her Grandma had started

1332
01:40:09,079 --> 01:40:13,239
humming again. She was in the kitchen, standing with her

1333
01:40:13,279 --> 01:40:17,680
back to me. I hadn't heard her wake up. She

1334
01:40:17,800 --> 01:40:20,800
was stirring something that smelled like burnt honey and rust.

1335
01:40:22,039 --> 01:40:26,520
The song was slow and broken, half melody, half moan,

1336
01:40:27,239 --> 01:40:30,079
a tune that worms into your head and makes your

1337
01:40:30,159 --> 01:40:34,880
teeth itch. She didn't move like she had the other day.

1338
01:40:35,560 --> 01:40:39,159
Her limbs were stiff, swinging wide like a puppet trying

1339
01:40:39,199 --> 01:40:43,760
to remember how to walk. Her feet dragged, scuffing hard

1340
01:40:43,760 --> 01:40:47,359
against the floorboards. The back of her neck twitched every

1341
01:40:47,399 --> 01:40:53,279
few seconds, like she was suppressing a shudder. She hadn't

1342
01:40:53,319 --> 01:40:56,560
asked me how I slept, hadn't asked if I was hungry.

1343
01:40:57,760 --> 01:41:01,560
It was like she didn't need the act anymore. She

1344
01:41:01,760 --> 01:41:06,479
knew I was stuck. So now it was letting the

1345
01:41:06,600 --> 01:41:10,439
masks slip, letting me see the wrongness that had been

1346
01:41:10,479 --> 01:41:16,600
growing the whole time. I backed away, slowly, careful not

1347
01:41:16,720 --> 01:41:22,560
to draw her attention. Whatever that thing was in the kitchen,

1348
01:41:24,640 --> 01:41:36,760
it wasn't my grandmother. I went back to the basement

1349
01:41:36,960 --> 01:41:40,279
as quietly as I could, because I couldn't stop thinking

1350
01:41:40,319 --> 01:41:44,000
about what I'd seen. Every other room in the house

1351
01:41:44,079 --> 01:41:47,920
twisted in the sharp reflection. The basement was the only

1352
01:41:48,000 --> 01:41:52,520
place that felt like an opposite to me. This meant something,

1353
01:41:53,640 --> 01:41:56,399
I hoped the fin a solution who read the very

1354
01:41:56,479 --> 01:42:02,000
least answers just at the top of the basement stairs

1355
01:42:02,239 --> 01:42:07,279
made my stomach clench. I crept down slowly, one hand

1356
01:42:07,319 --> 01:42:10,680
gripping the rail, the other wrapped tightly around the mirror shard.

1357
01:42:11,920 --> 01:42:16,159
When I reached the bottom, the air hit me and

1358
01:42:16,199 --> 01:42:22,279
it was worse, damp and metallic. The chair was still

1359
01:42:22,319 --> 01:42:26,399
there in the center of the room, empty ropes hanging

1360
01:42:26,439 --> 01:42:30,600
off the arms like wilted vines. I stood there for

1361
01:42:30,680 --> 01:42:34,920
a long moment, steadying myself, then lifted the mirror shard

1362
01:42:35,199 --> 01:42:41,960
and angled it toward the chair. My breath fogged the glass.

1363
01:42:42,680 --> 01:42:47,600
Within the normal looking basement in the reflection, a woman

1364
01:42:47,920 --> 01:42:51,840
sat tied to the chair. Her hair was a little

1365
01:42:51,920 --> 01:42:56,520
shorter than I remembered, her face thinner, but there was

1366
01:42:56,640 --> 01:43:04,199
no mistaking her. It was her mother, the real one.

1367
01:43:04,560 --> 01:43:08,239
She wasn't screaming, or if she was, the Shah didn't

1368
01:43:08,279 --> 01:43:12,840
carry sound. Her head drooped forward, like she'd exhausted herself

1369
01:43:13,000 --> 01:43:17,800
hours ago. But when I stepped closer, she lifted her face.

1370
01:43:19,800 --> 01:43:24,920
Her eyes locked on mine. I didn't know how that

1371
01:43:25,079 --> 01:43:28,359
was possible, how could she see me from that place?

1372
01:43:29,680 --> 01:43:33,720
But she did, and she tried to speak. Her lips

1373
01:43:33,720 --> 01:43:37,880
strained against the invisible ropes of silence, forming a single word,

1374
01:43:38,119 --> 01:43:49,159
again and again. Break. Her mouth formed it with desperate precision. Break, Break, Break.

1375
01:43:51,680 --> 01:43:54,199
A chill ran through me so fast it felt like

1376
01:43:54,279 --> 01:43:57,960
my bones cracked. I lowered the shard and looked at

1377
01:43:58,000 --> 01:44:01,640
the basement. I was in the dusty one around me.

1378
01:44:02,760 --> 01:44:05,760
The ropes on the empty chair hung in the exact positions.

1379
01:44:05,760 --> 01:44:09,680
They wrapped around a wrist in the reflection. I raised

1380
01:44:09,720 --> 01:44:14,319
the shard again. Her eyes didn't blink. She kept mouthing

1381
01:44:14,359 --> 01:44:19,920
the same word, urging me, but to what I didn't know.

1382
01:44:21,720 --> 01:44:28,760
I swallowed hard. Grandma, My voice sounded tiny. Can you

1383
01:44:28,840 --> 01:44:37,239
hear me? No answer? Her expression tightened, urgency, sharpening her features.

1384
01:44:38,439 --> 01:44:43,239
Her eyes flicked towards something over my shoulder and widened.

1385
01:44:45,319 --> 01:44:53,079
I froze footsteps upstairs, slow, heavy, like someone placing each

1386
01:44:53,199 --> 01:44:59,479
foot intentionally, carefully, as if savoring the sound. My heart

1387
01:44:59,600 --> 01:45:03,399
hammered my throat. I ducked behind an old shelving unit

1388
01:45:03,600 --> 01:45:07,279
stacked with dusty paint cans and Christmas ornaments from decades ago.

1389
01:45:08,399 --> 01:45:12,560
I curled in tight, trying to steady my breath. The

1390
01:45:12,600 --> 01:45:16,600
footsteps reached the top of the basement stairs, The door

1391
01:45:16,760 --> 01:45:25,680
groaned open, and then she came down, a silhouette stretched

1392
01:45:25,720 --> 01:45:29,199
along the wall before her body did slightly bent at

1393
01:45:29,199 --> 01:45:32,920
the joints, like she'd been rearranged and hadn't quite settled.

1394
01:45:33,920 --> 01:45:38,479
She hummed that awful almost lullaby again, each note bending

1395
01:45:38,600 --> 01:45:42,479
upward at the end, like a question in the reflection.

1396
01:45:42,840 --> 01:45:46,760
She wasn't there. The basement was still empty except for

1397
01:45:46,800 --> 01:45:50,399
my grandmother, tied to the chair, silently pleading with me.

1398
01:45:51,800 --> 01:45:55,960
Two basements, two truths out of sync with each other,

1399
01:45:56,880 --> 01:46:01,279
and I was stuck in the wrong one. I pressed

1400
01:46:01,319 --> 01:46:04,279
the shower to my chest, praying it wouldn't catch any

1401
01:46:04,359 --> 01:46:10,039
stray light. The fake Grandma drifted past my hiding spot, humming,

1402
01:46:10,439 --> 01:46:13,520
tilting her head left and right like she was smelling

1403
01:46:13,600 --> 01:46:17,359
the air for me. She paused so close I could

1404
01:46:17,359 --> 01:46:20,800
have reached out and touched the nightgown, but I didn't

1405
01:46:20,880 --> 01:46:26,479
dare breathe didn't dare think. After a long moment, she

1406
01:46:26,640 --> 01:46:30,439
turned and climbed the stairs again, the door click shut

1407
01:46:30,520 --> 01:46:36,680
behind her. Firm and final I didn't move for a

1408
01:46:36,760 --> 01:46:40,720
full minute, maybe more, just listening to the thudding of

1409
01:46:40,800 --> 01:46:48,000
my own heart. Trapped. There was no way out, just

1410
01:46:48,039 --> 01:46:51,520
the shard, the cold, and the chair in the center

1411
01:46:51,560 --> 01:46:54,880
of the room, and the knowledge that something real was

1412
01:46:54,920 --> 01:47:00,840
still in there somewhere. I forced myself up, legs shaking,

1413
01:47:01,239 --> 01:47:04,399
and looked again through the shard. The chair and the

1414
01:47:04,479 --> 01:47:10,039
reflection was whole, upright clean, the ropes still tied tightly

1415
01:47:10,079 --> 01:47:14,560
around my grandmother's wrists and ankles. My grandmother was still

1416
01:47:14,600 --> 01:47:20,159
staring at me, tears streaking down a face. Break, she

1417
01:47:20,319 --> 01:47:26,119
mouthed again. Break. I stared down at the empty chair

1418
01:47:26,159 --> 01:47:30,199
in front of me, empty flecks of old, frayed rope

1419
01:47:30,359 --> 01:47:34,920
still curled around the arms like a memory. I pulled

1420
01:47:34,920 --> 01:47:37,720
out the box cutter that was lying in the storage bin.

1421
01:47:38,800 --> 01:47:42,920
My hands were sweating now. I turned back to the shard,

1422
01:47:43,359 --> 01:47:46,239
lined it up just right so the mirror version of

1423
01:47:46,279 --> 01:47:50,840
the chair overlapped the real one. Heart pounding, I brought

1424
01:47:50,840 --> 01:47:54,760
the blade to the ropes and the reflection. It was

1425
01:47:54,800 --> 01:47:56,680
hard to cut because of the angle. I had to

1426
01:47:56,720 --> 01:48:00,119
work her. More often than not, I found myself of

1427
01:48:00,239 --> 01:48:03,279
scoring the side of the chair's arm, or slipping across

1428
01:48:03,319 --> 01:48:08,720
the top, but eventually I cut through the fraying rope.

1429
01:48:08,960 --> 01:48:12,279
I did this three more times before it all fell loose.

1430
01:48:13,840 --> 01:48:17,520
I didn't know what I expected, a sound as shift

1431
01:48:17,560 --> 01:48:23,880
in the air, magic, Nothing happened. I stood there like

1432
01:48:23,920 --> 01:48:28,119
an idiot, feeling sick, the shard fogging with my breath,

1433
01:48:30,199 --> 01:48:37,319
and then movement, the ropes and the reflection loosened. She

1434
01:48:37,479 --> 01:48:43,119
was standing shakily. Tears were in her eyes. She mouthed

1435
01:48:43,159 --> 01:48:50,239
something again, too fast to catch, and leaning closer. She

1436
01:48:50,319 --> 01:48:59,279
looked past me and pointed behind me. I spawn instinctively

1437
01:48:59,479 --> 01:49:04,520
raising the shit, sharred and came face to face with

1438
01:49:04,640 --> 01:49:11,239
her on all fours, elbows bent wrong, neck twisted like

1439
01:49:11,279 --> 01:49:15,720
a broken hanger, face split by that same smile, glinting

1440
01:49:16,159 --> 01:49:20,319
even without light. Her voice came out like a purr

1441
01:49:20,640 --> 01:49:26,199
and a rasp layered together. Looks like you found her.

1442
01:49:28,960 --> 01:49:34,840
She didn't scream. That somehow made it worse. Her jaw

1443
01:49:35,039 --> 01:49:39,720
just split open too fast, unhinging like wet paper peeling

1444
01:49:39,760 --> 01:49:44,520
away from bone. No sound, just avoid where a face

1445
01:49:44,520 --> 01:49:47,800
should be, and a neck that twitched like a marionette

1446
01:49:47,800 --> 01:49:55,000
string had just snapped. She plunged. I didn't think I

1447
01:49:55,079 --> 01:49:59,159
threw myself backward, ducked under a reaching arms, those long,

1448
01:49:59,319 --> 01:50:04,039
vainy things, and sprinted for the stairs. Her hands scraped

1449
01:50:04,039 --> 01:50:07,199
the floor behind me, the nails clacking on the concrete

1450
01:50:07,239 --> 01:50:10,960
like hoofs. I reached the top step just as she

1451
01:50:11,079 --> 01:50:14,359
let out a noise, like a drain choking on blood.

1452
01:50:15,439 --> 01:50:18,640
I burst into the hallway, grabbed the door, and slammed

1453
01:50:18,680 --> 01:50:22,039
it shut behind me. I yanked over a nearby chair

1454
01:50:22,279 --> 01:50:25,760
and jammed it under the knob. Something hit the door

1455
01:50:25,800 --> 01:50:30,199
a second later, hard enough to rattle the hinges. The

1456
01:50:30,279 --> 01:50:36,800
chair groaned but held. I backed away, hard, jack hammering

1457
01:50:36,840 --> 01:50:43,920
in my throat. The hallway was wrung. The wallpaper patterns

1458
01:50:43,920 --> 01:50:47,560
had shifted into jagged shapes. The family portraits on the

1459
01:50:47,560 --> 01:50:52,399
wall were crying, black oily streaks dribbling from painted eyes.

1460
01:50:53,279 --> 01:50:57,159
One of the frames bubbled like it was boiling. Every

1461
01:50:57,239 --> 01:51:03,159
window pulsed in and out, like lungs breathing. I staggered

1462
01:51:03,159 --> 01:51:08,720
into the living room. Everything was worse here. The furniture

1463
01:51:08,840 --> 01:51:12,640
sagged inward. The floorboards curled slightly at the edges, as

1464
01:51:12,680 --> 01:51:17,439
if trying to turn themselves over. I needed something real,

1465
01:51:17,840 --> 01:51:21,680
something to ground me. My hands fumbled for the mirror

1466
01:51:21,720 --> 01:51:25,239
shard in my pocket, fingers trembling as I angled it

1467
01:51:25,520 --> 01:51:30,159
just right. It took a second to focus. The glass

1468
01:51:30,279 --> 01:51:35,920
was smudged, but I saw it the real living room,

1469
01:51:37,119 --> 01:51:41,880
the warped wallpaper, the melting windows, all gone in the reflection,

1470
01:51:43,199 --> 01:51:49,319
just the quiet house, my grandmother's reel house, and then

1471
01:51:49,680 --> 01:51:54,600
my grandma, the real one. She was standing in the

1472
01:51:54,640 --> 01:51:59,560
hallway of the reflection, outside my bedroom door. She wasn't

1473
01:51:59,560 --> 01:52:04,000
tied in anymore. It looked like my cutting had worked, though,

1474
01:52:04,079 --> 01:52:07,359
looking at the red seeping across the sleeves, I was

1475
01:52:07,399 --> 01:52:11,600
horrified at the ramifications of my miss cuts. I had

1476
01:52:11,600 --> 01:52:14,760
no time to dwell on that though. She looked at

1477
01:52:14,800 --> 01:52:18,680
me through the shard, straight into my eyes, and then

1478
01:52:18,720 --> 01:52:22,960
she mouthed something I couldn't hear, but I felt it.

1479
01:52:25,319 --> 01:52:32,800
There's still time. The moment she pointed, I moved. I

1480
01:52:32,840 --> 01:52:37,520
didn't hesitate. I couldn't. The house was breathing too loud now,

1481
01:52:37,960 --> 01:52:41,800
the shadows bending in strange directions. The slamming on the

1482
01:52:41,800 --> 01:52:45,720
basement door rattled the chair loose with each bang. I

1483
01:52:45,840 --> 01:52:49,239
ran for the hallway closet, the mirror shard gripped so

1484
01:52:49,359 --> 01:52:52,399
tightly in my hand that the edges dug into my palm.

1485
01:52:53,600 --> 01:53:01,920
I yanked the door open. Just coats, dusty limp things

1486
01:53:02,039 --> 01:53:06,960
hanging from plastic hangers, a clapsed umbrella, her floor scattered

1487
01:53:06,960 --> 01:53:15,439
with old shoes. Nothing else. A stairwell, wooden narrow leading

1488
01:53:15,520 --> 01:53:21,560
down into shadow. No way. I whispered and pressed the

1489
01:53:21,600 --> 01:53:25,920
shard closer to the gap between the coats in the glass.

1490
01:53:26,560 --> 01:53:30,680
The coats didn't exist, just a hollow like the closet

1491
01:53:30,840 --> 01:53:35,800
was never used for storage at all. I reached inside.

1492
01:53:36,439 --> 01:53:41,439
My fingers touched the back panel, solid, no way through,

1493
01:53:42,720 --> 01:53:45,279
but I turned to look at my Grandma, trying to

1494
01:53:45,319 --> 01:53:49,680
see if I was missing something, and she was insistent.

1495
01:53:51,399 --> 01:53:55,279
So I turned round, pushed my back into the back panel,

1496
01:53:55,760 --> 01:54:01,840
navigating with the shard, and slipped past it. A faint

1497
01:54:01,880 --> 01:54:05,359
hiss of cold air rushed out, dry and stale, like

1498
01:54:05,359 --> 01:54:09,640
a crypt. The coats rustled on their own. I pushed

1499
01:54:09,640 --> 01:54:15,359
them aside and dugged in. It was tight, barely enough

1500
01:54:15,479 --> 01:54:19,920
room to crawl. The woods scraped my shoulders. Yes, smelled

1501
01:54:19,960 --> 01:54:24,840
like wet stone and rust. But I kept going, guided

1502
01:54:25,159 --> 01:54:30,239
only by what the mirror showed. No more normal, just

1503
01:54:30,359 --> 01:54:34,359
that staircase and the strange quiet that came with it.

1504
01:54:35,800 --> 01:54:39,720
The further I went, the colder, it got cold, you

1505
01:54:39,840 --> 01:54:44,000
feel in your bones, not your skin. I turned the

1506
01:54:44,039 --> 01:54:47,720
shard to check behind me. The fake house still warped

1507
01:54:47,760 --> 01:54:56,000
and snarling, but ahead, the stairs were getting clearer. Half

1508
01:54:56,039 --> 01:54:59,119
Way through the passage, the mirror started matching what I

1509
01:54:59,199 --> 01:55:02,159
was seeing. The house in the shard became the real

1510
01:55:02,239 --> 01:55:07,199
house again, reality snapping back into alignment like I'd stepped

1511
01:55:07,319 --> 01:55:14,840
out of a lie. Finally I emerged, wooden steps beneath me,

1512
01:55:15,479 --> 01:55:21,840
smooth concrete floor. Ahead, the real basement. I could feel it,

1513
01:55:22,039 --> 01:55:31,319
still damp, cold, but real. And there it was, the chair, empty,

1514
01:55:32,199 --> 01:55:36,159
frayed rope ends hanging off the arms, red smeared along

1515
01:55:36,199 --> 01:55:41,279
the wood, the seat indented, faint marks of dust, shoes

1516
01:55:42,119 --> 01:55:49,800
smaller than mine. She'd been here. The last place I

1517
01:55:49,840 --> 01:55:53,119
saw her was the hallway, so I had to make

1518
01:55:53,199 --> 01:55:56,840
my way back up. The stairs creaked under my feet

1519
01:55:57,039 --> 01:56:00,760
like they hadn't been stepped on in years. Moved slowly,

1520
01:56:01,279 --> 01:56:05,319
breath shallow, expecting the walls to shift again, for the

1521
01:56:05,399 --> 01:56:09,960
floor to fall out beneath me, but everything was still.

1522
01:56:12,279 --> 01:56:19,239
When I reached the top, I smelled something familiar, pine cleaner, coffee, grounds,

1523
01:56:19,680 --> 01:56:27,000
dry air warmed by a radiator. Home, and there, standing

1524
01:56:27,119 --> 01:56:30,119
in the living room, blinking like someone pulled her from

1525
01:56:30,119 --> 01:56:39,760
a deep sleep, was Grandma. She looked different, smaller, fragile

1526
01:56:39,840 --> 01:56:44,039
in a way I didn't remember. Her sweater was on backwards,

1527
01:56:44,279 --> 01:56:47,600
her hands were shaking, blood still fresh on her wrists

1528
01:56:47,640 --> 01:56:57,199
and ankles. Sweetheart, she said, her voice rasping, are you okay?

1529
01:56:57,239 --> 01:57:01,279
Never mind me. I shot back to welling in my eyes.

1530
01:57:02,640 --> 01:57:06,920
I stepped closer, heart pounding. She looked up at me

1531
01:57:07,199 --> 01:57:14,239
and smiled the way I remembered true sincerity. But I

1532
01:57:14,279 --> 01:57:20,000
didn't get to approach because I heard the sound a dragging,

1533
01:57:20,279 --> 01:57:25,560
wet scrape from the hallway behind me. I turned, and

1534
01:57:25,640 --> 01:57:30,680
it was halfway through the closet, crawling, pulling itself forward

1535
01:57:30,720 --> 01:57:33,600
like a spider forcing its way through a crack in

1536
01:57:33,640 --> 01:57:38,560
the world. Its skin shimmered like tar. Its face flickered

1537
01:57:38,600 --> 01:57:47,640
between her face and something unfinished. Its hands gripped the frame, long,

1538
01:57:47,880 --> 01:57:54,079
thin fingers, splintered nails, jaw unhinged. I got back up.

1539
01:57:54,880 --> 01:58:00,479
Grandma clutched the arm of a chair its back. She whispered.

1540
01:58:02,119 --> 01:58:07,720
I didn't answer. I reached into my pocket. The mirror

1541
01:58:07,760 --> 01:58:11,319
shard still warm from gripping it in the crawl space.

1542
01:58:13,000 --> 01:58:15,720
I couldn't get the thought out of my head. How

1543
01:58:15,720 --> 01:58:19,279
I noticed all the reflective surfaces were removed from the house.

1544
01:58:20,000 --> 01:58:22,600
How I'd got this far only by the shard that

1545
01:58:22,640 --> 01:58:28,279
I'd found reflections were the key. So I did the

1546
01:58:28,319 --> 01:58:32,039
only thing I could think of. I held it up

1547
01:58:32,399 --> 01:58:38,840
towards the thing. It hissed, a pressure, a shriek behind

1548
01:58:38,840 --> 01:58:44,800
my eyes. It recoiled, arms cracking backward at wrong angles,

1549
01:58:45,199 --> 01:58:48,640
its eyes locked on the shard, a blur bouncing from

1550
01:58:48,720 --> 01:58:52,760
it to the shard like a recursive loop. It opened

1551
01:58:52,760 --> 01:58:55,640
its mouth wider than it should have. It's more a

1552
01:58:55,720 --> 01:59:02,760
tunnel of static. It reached again. So I stepped forward,

1553
01:59:03,439 --> 01:59:09,359
held the shard higher, and things intensified. It wasn't light

1554
01:59:09,479 --> 01:59:13,119
that came out, more like the absence of everything behind me.

1555
01:59:13,960 --> 01:59:16,720
Like it was staring into a doorway. It wasn't meant

1556
01:59:16,800 --> 01:59:22,039
to see. Air searched backward, photos fell off the wall.

1557
01:59:22,520 --> 01:59:26,960
The hallway twisted. It clawed at the floor, trying to stay,

1558
01:59:27,640 --> 01:59:34,439
but its limbs started folding backwards inward. Undone. It turned

1559
01:59:34,439 --> 01:59:38,279
to ash in slow motion, like paper burning without flame.

1560
01:59:40,279 --> 01:59:49,079
Then silence. The mirror shads split down the center hairline.

1561
01:59:49,119 --> 01:59:53,880
Cracks wept through it, and then it crumbled, finer sand

1562
01:59:54,239 --> 02:00:05,880
through my fingers, gone completely behind me. Grandma started to cry.

1563
02:00:11,279 --> 02:00:16,079
The house was still, the hallway was quiet, the mess

1564
02:00:16,079 --> 02:00:19,399
from the encounter was strewn about. The mirror was still

1565
02:00:19,439 --> 02:00:22,720
missing from the wall, the kitchen full of plastic forks,

1566
02:00:23,159 --> 02:00:26,239
That blank wooden boards still bolted to the bathroom wall.

1567
02:00:27,159 --> 02:00:30,079
Like the world had snapped back, but the echo of

1568
02:00:30,119 --> 02:00:35,479
her choices remained. Grandma was there, standing where I'd last

1569
02:00:35,479 --> 02:00:38,680
seen her. Her eyes flicked to mine as I entered,

1570
02:00:40,000 --> 02:00:48,279
and for a second I saw something recognition, grief, then relief,

1571
02:00:48,920 --> 02:00:53,680
sharp and overwhelming. I quickly rushed to get a first

1572
02:00:53,680 --> 02:00:56,479
aid kit I knew she had in the kitchen, and

1573
02:00:56,520 --> 02:01:00,760
when I came back, tended to a wounds cut on

1574
02:01:00,840 --> 02:01:04,960
her wrists and ankles where my slicing went awry. But

1575
02:01:05,720 --> 02:01:11,079
she didn't seem to hold it against me. Oh, she whispered,

1576
02:01:11,600 --> 02:01:15,079
like she'd been holding her breath for years. Thank God,

1577
02:01:15,119 --> 02:01:21,039
it's over. I nodded, try to answer, but it caught

1578
02:01:21,079 --> 02:01:26,359
in my throat. It was like a bad dream, she said,

1579
02:01:27,000 --> 02:01:31,239
voice barely louder than the wind outside. I remember going

1580
02:01:31,239 --> 02:01:35,279
about my daily business, cleaning up for when you arrived.

1581
02:01:35,880 --> 02:01:40,159
But my reflection caught Fanny. Next thing I know. I

1582
02:01:40,199 --> 02:01:45,439
couldn't move, couldn't speak. But then I saw you in

1583
02:01:45,479 --> 02:01:50,800
the mirror. I knelt beside her, unsure of what to say.

1584
02:01:51,960 --> 02:01:57,439
Her hand found mine. You were so brave, she said,

1585
02:01:57,920 --> 02:02:03,039
I always knew you would be. I swallowed hard. The

1586
02:02:03,119 --> 02:02:08,359
lump in my throat didn't budge Grandma. I said, quietly,

1587
02:02:09,560 --> 02:02:18,000
you're safe, now, that's all that matters. She nodded, eyes glassy.

1588
02:02:18,359 --> 02:02:24,319
You saved me. We sat there for a long time,

1589
02:02:24,880 --> 02:02:30,399
just breathing, relishing the quiet, while the sun kept rising.

1590
02:02:34,159 --> 02:02:36,760
The days after it all ended were quiet in a

1591
02:02:36,760 --> 02:02:41,039
way i'd never noticed before. Grandma and I didn't talk

1592
02:02:41,079 --> 02:02:46,640
about what happened, not directly, but something unspoken passed between us.

1593
02:02:46,920 --> 02:02:49,279
Every time I handed her a new mirror to hang,

1594
02:02:49,920 --> 02:02:53,920
or helped peel the privacy film from the windows, She'd

1595
02:02:53,960 --> 02:02:56,560
watched the sunlight come in, like it was a guest

1596
02:02:56,640 --> 02:03:00,000
she hadn't seen in years, Like she didn't trust it

1597
02:03:00,119 --> 02:03:04,960
to stay, but she hugged me more, made real food again,

1598
02:03:05,800 --> 02:03:10,600
still a little overcooked, still too much dill. But I

1599
02:03:10,680 --> 02:03:14,880
didn't mind. I swept out rooms that hadn't been opened

1600
02:03:14,920 --> 02:03:19,359
in years, helped to replace knobs, scrub tape off old faucets,

1601
02:03:20,000 --> 02:03:23,800
and rehang a new mirror in the hallway. When I

1602
02:03:23,840 --> 02:03:27,880
stepped back and looked to the glass, I didn't flinch.

1603
02:03:29,199 --> 02:03:36,520
I saw myself, just me, and behind me. She smiled,

1604
02:03:37,479 --> 02:03:44,600
the real one. On the last morning, she made me pancakes,

1605
02:03:45,279 --> 02:03:49,520
real syrup, real butter. She didn't call me the wrong name.

1606
02:03:49,600 --> 02:03:55,399
Once life was back to normal. When Mom pulled up outside,

1607
02:03:55,920 --> 02:03:58,800
I loaded my bag into the trunk and hugged Grandma

1608
02:03:58,960 --> 02:04:03,399
a little longer than I ever had before. She whispered,

1609
02:04:04,920 --> 02:04:14,119
you come back soon, Okay, I nodded, I will. My

1610
02:04:14,239 --> 02:04:17,800
Mom noticed the bandages on Grandma's wrists, but we both

1611
02:04:17,840 --> 02:04:22,680
stuck to the story it was a kitchen accident, nothing more.

1612
02:04:25,159 --> 02:04:28,199
We were halfway down the road when Mom glanced at me.

1613
02:04:29,920 --> 02:04:33,399
Thanks for being good for her, she said, I know

1614
02:04:33,439 --> 02:04:37,800
it's never your favorite place, but I appreciate it. Maybe

1615
02:04:37,840 --> 02:04:40,000
next time I'll see if one your friends can have

1616
02:04:40,079 --> 02:04:43,720
you over instead, you know, let you do something fun.

1617
02:04:46,239 --> 02:04:51,239
I looked out the window. Trees blurred past, ordinary and soft,

1618
02:04:52,039 --> 02:04:58,760
no oil, slick shimmer, just the world, no I said,

1619
02:04:59,159 --> 02:05:03,880
I'm okay with staying at Grandma's. Mum raised an eyebrow.

1620
02:05:05,119 --> 02:05:10,600
Really yeah, I said, Plus she could use the help.

1621
02:05:12,800 --> 02:05:19,199
She smiled, surprised but pleased. Well that's really kind of you.

1622
02:05:21,520 --> 02:05:25,560
I nodded, but didn't say anything else, just kept looking

1623
02:05:25,640 --> 02:05:30,560
out of the window, watching the woods roll by. I

1624
02:05:30,640 --> 02:05:35,279
felt a new fan responsibility for Grandma, and if anything

1625
02:05:35,479 --> 02:05:53,079
ever happened again, I'd be ready. I've been surrounded by

1626
02:05:53,119 --> 02:05:57,039
conspiracy theories my whole life. I don't mean that I

1627
02:05:57,119 --> 02:06:01,119
believe in them. Most of them are ridiculus us. Some

1628
02:06:01,159 --> 02:06:05,520
of them are dangerous. I only ever got into that

1629
02:06:05,560 --> 02:06:10,159
stuff because of my uncle. When you grew up visiting

1630
02:06:10,199 --> 02:06:12,720
a man who owns more black and white photocopies of

1631
02:06:12,800 --> 02:06:16,479
underground based schematics than he does shirts, it starts to

1632
02:06:16,560 --> 02:06:20,359
rub off on you. I never cared much about Bigfoot,

1633
02:06:21,079 --> 02:06:25,119
but more people and pigeon robots. It was interesting to

1634
02:06:25,199 --> 02:06:30,920
listen to my uncle. Warren was that relative, the one

1635
02:06:31,039 --> 02:06:34,479
everyone keeps at arm's length during the holidays, the one

1636
02:06:34,600 --> 02:06:38,600
people warn their kids about before they visit. He didn't

1637
02:06:38,640 --> 02:06:42,680
do anything wrong, not ever, but there was always something

1638
02:06:42,720 --> 02:06:48,000
about him that made others uncomfortable. He had a disorder.

1639
02:06:48,840 --> 02:06:52,560
It had warped his jaw since birth. His teeth jotted

1640
02:06:52,600 --> 02:06:56,760
out at an angle, like a row of warped fence posts.

1641
02:06:57,399 --> 02:06:59,880
He had to wear these weird rubber mouthguards at night

1642
02:07:00,359 --> 02:07:03,840
just to stop them from cutting into his cheeks. He

1643
02:07:03,920 --> 02:07:08,279
also had diabetes, and that was a constant battle for him.

1644
02:07:08,720 --> 02:07:11,359
He kept sugar tabs in his shirt pocket and always

1645
02:07:11,359 --> 02:07:15,880
smelled of insulin and peanut butter crackers. He wore shirts

1646
02:07:15,880 --> 02:07:19,279
that had been washed until the graphics faded into pale ghosts,

1647
02:07:19,800 --> 02:07:23,359
jeans with cracked belt loops, and a windbreaker that had

1648
02:07:23,399 --> 02:07:28,079
probably been navy blue twenty years ago. His glasses were

1649
02:07:28,079 --> 02:07:31,359
too large for his face. His hair had receded before

1650
02:07:31,359 --> 02:07:35,880
I was even born. Most people didn't give him a

1651
02:07:35,880 --> 02:07:41,880
second chance. The ones who did usually looked away. But

1652
02:07:42,000 --> 02:07:48,640
to me, he was great. He wasn't just a family weirdo.

1653
02:07:49,279 --> 02:07:53,800
He was brilliant. He knew how to fix things, build things,

1654
02:07:53,960 --> 02:07:57,640
explain things. He could talk about sub sonic weapons and

1655
02:07:57,680 --> 02:08:00,600
hollow earth theories in the same breath. He walked me

1656
02:08:00,640 --> 02:08:05,119
through fixing a blown capacitor. He was patient, He had

1657
02:08:05,159 --> 02:08:08,760
time for me. I didn't get that from many people

1658
02:08:08,800 --> 02:08:13,960
growing up. His house felt like some kind of time capsule.

1659
02:08:14,920 --> 02:08:19,479
Old wallpaper, flickering fluorescent lights, carpet that had gone stiff

1660
02:08:19,479 --> 02:08:23,039
at the edges. But what always pulled me in was

1661
02:08:23,079 --> 02:08:28,279
the back room. He called it his workshop. No one

1662
02:08:28,359 --> 02:08:32,159
else ever went back there. I think my mom saw

1663
02:08:32,239 --> 02:08:37,399
it once and refused the step inside again. It was

1664
02:08:37,479 --> 02:08:40,479
cramped and packed wall to wall with shells full of

1665
02:08:40,479 --> 02:08:45,079
scrap parts, tools, plastic tubs, and print outs that had

1666
02:08:45,159 --> 02:08:49,680
yellowed into brittle curls. It had cathoed monitors stacked on

1667
02:08:49,680 --> 02:08:53,640
top of a filing cabinets, each one hooked into something different.

1668
02:08:55,199 --> 02:08:57,680
One of them looped footage from a cave in Turkey,

1669
02:08:58,239 --> 02:09:02,600
another displayed seismic g reeder. Else, I'd sit at his

1670
02:09:02,680 --> 02:09:06,760
workbench while he soldered or rewired something. The smell of

1671
02:09:06,840 --> 02:09:10,439
burned plastic and machine oil always stuck to my clothes.

1672
02:09:10,560 --> 02:09:15,000
After I left. He had this Motorola flip phone with

1673
02:09:15,039 --> 02:09:18,359
a thick black antenna. He clipped it to his belt

1674
02:09:18,399 --> 02:09:21,439
like it was a badge. I once asked him why

1675
02:09:21,439 --> 02:09:24,039
he didn't just get a smartphone, and he looked at

1676
02:09:24,039 --> 02:09:26,319
me like I had asked him to put a tracking

1677
02:09:26,399 --> 02:09:31,000
device in his skull. The only thing about him that

1678
02:09:31,039 --> 02:09:36,439
I found strange was his obsession with mole people. He

1679
02:09:36,520 --> 02:09:40,199
didn't picture them as cartoonish or green or wearing goggles.

1680
02:09:41,119 --> 02:09:45,640
He imagined them as pale, sightless things, humanoid but not

1681
02:09:45,920 --> 02:09:49,960
entirely human, adapted to a place where light never touched.

1682
02:09:51,159 --> 02:09:54,439
He had theories about how their society worked, what tools

1683
02:09:54,479 --> 02:09:57,479
they used, how they might hear our movement from beneath

1684
02:09:57,479 --> 02:10:03,079
the crust and respond with coded viber. He rarely even

1685
02:10:03,119 --> 02:10:06,039
wanted to use light outside of his home, and that

1686
02:10:06,199 --> 02:10:09,560
really shined through the time I went camping with him.

1687
02:10:10,199 --> 02:10:13,359
I tried to set up a fire. I had gathered kindling,

1688
02:10:13,680 --> 02:10:17,359
stacked it carefully, even brought a fire starter cube because

1689
02:10:17,399 --> 02:10:21,760
I was proud of thinking ahead. He stopped me the

1690
02:10:21,840 --> 02:10:26,000
moment I could light it. He didn't yell, He just

1691
02:10:26,039 --> 02:10:28,920
stared at the pile for a long moment, then told

1692
02:10:28,960 --> 02:10:34,760
me gently to leave it alone. He said fire draws attention.

1693
02:10:35,760 --> 02:10:39,760
He said some things can't handle sudden brightness, that it

1694
02:10:39,840 --> 02:10:44,319
confuses them, hurts them, that when you're near their domain

1695
02:10:44,920 --> 02:10:50,119
you should respect their rules. I didn't understand at all,

1696
02:10:50,840 --> 02:10:55,640
but I just let it go. Months passed after that

1697
02:10:56,560 --> 02:11:00,000
we fell out of touch for a while. I got busy.

1698
02:11:00,800 --> 02:11:04,800
Life crept in as it does slowly at first, then

1699
02:11:04,880 --> 02:11:10,039
all at once when you start working full time. Checking

1700
02:11:10,079 --> 02:11:13,479
in on your eccentric uncle doesn't always top the list,

1701
02:11:14,800 --> 02:11:18,119
but I still thought about him, especially when I saw

1702
02:11:18,159 --> 02:11:21,880
something odd on TV or read a weird headline online.

1703
02:11:23,039 --> 02:11:26,600
I always think Warren would have something to say about that.

1704
02:11:28,800 --> 02:11:33,319
Then one day I heard from my mom that he

1705
02:11:33,439 --> 02:11:38,199
was gone. She said it offhand, like it wasn't worth

1706
02:11:38,239 --> 02:11:42,199
more than a sentence. Oh, by the way, your uncle

1707
02:11:42,239 --> 02:11:45,239
hasn't been home in weeks. Your cousin Todd went to check.

1708
02:11:45,640 --> 02:11:51,640
He wasn't there. That was it. No missing person flies

1709
02:11:51,760 --> 02:11:55,479
or searches, just the call to the authorities and a

1710
02:11:55,520 --> 02:12:00,039
casual shrug passed around the family group chat everyone. I

1711
02:12:00,039 --> 02:12:04,279
had an explanation ready. He'd probably gone off chasing one

1712
02:12:04,319 --> 02:12:07,840
of those rabbit holes. He did that once years ago,

1713
02:12:08,119 --> 02:12:10,800
spent three weeks in New Mexico because he thought the

1714
02:12:10,840 --> 02:12:15,239
government was digging under old reservations. Turned out he just

1715
02:12:15,279 --> 02:12:20,000
wanted to try desert photography. But even then he'd told

1716
02:12:20,039 --> 02:12:25,199
me before he went. Todd had apparently driven over walked

1717
02:12:25,199 --> 02:12:28,840
around the house once tried the door, peered through the blinds,

1718
02:12:28,920 --> 02:12:36,800
then left said everything looked fine. That was enough for them,

1719
02:12:36,840 --> 02:12:41,239
But something about it sat wrong with me. I couldn't

1720
02:12:41,279 --> 02:12:44,479
explain it. I hadn't seen him in months, and I

1721
02:12:44,479 --> 02:12:48,720
had no reason to assume the worst. But I knew him.

1722
02:12:49,319 --> 02:12:52,079
He wouldn't vanish for weeks without at least leaving a

1723
02:12:52,159 --> 02:12:54,960
note taped to the door or a voicemail filled with

1724
02:12:55,079 --> 02:13:02,600
static and obscure hints. He was weird, not care, so

1725
02:13:02,640 --> 02:13:06,920
I went. I didn't tell anyone. I got in my

1726
02:13:07,000 --> 02:13:10,079
car early one morning and drove out to his place.

1727
02:13:11,399 --> 02:13:17,600
The further I got, the heavier it felt. When I

1728
02:13:17,640 --> 02:13:20,600
pulled up to the house, it looked the same as always.

1729
02:13:21,680 --> 02:13:24,399
I went up to the mailbox to retrieve the spare key.

1730
02:13:25,399 --> 02:13:27,840
Uncle had told me about where he kept it in

1731
02:13:27,840 --> 02:13:30,079
case I need to grab something from his workshop when

1732
02:13:30,079 --> 02:13:34,800
he's sleeping or away. His car was parked in the driveway,

1733
02:13:35,479 --> 02:13:39,079
right where it always sat, but the porch light bulb

1734
02:13:39,119 --> 02:13:43,000
had burned out. I noticed that as I climbed the steps,

1735
02:13:44,279 --> 02:13:48,680
a tiny bulb dead and cold in its fixture. I

1736
02:13:48,720 --> 02:13:52,640
unlocked the door and stepped inside. I moved through the

1737
02:13:52,640 --> 02:13:56,279
living room slowly. My shoes made no sound on the

1738
02:13:56,319 --> 02:13:59,840
old carpet. Something in me didn't want to break. What

1739
02:14:00,079 --> 02:14:04,039
of a spell was holding the place in suspension. I

1740
02:14:04,079 --> 02:14:08,319
stepped into the kitchen. That's when I saw his medication.

1741
02:14:10,199 --> 02:14:13,840
It sat in its organizer on the counter, color coded,

1742
02:14:14,239 --> 02:14:20,359
labeled by day Sunday through Saturday, each compartment still full.

1743
02:14:21,880 --> 02:14:24,600
His blood sugar monitor was next to it, turned off.

1744
02:14:25,399 --> 02:14:29,920
The testing strips were still sealed. I stared at it

1745
02:14:29,960 --> 02:14:33,920
for a while. My uncle had never missed the dose

1746
02:14:33,960 --> 02:14:37,239
in his life. He treated his condition with an almost

1747
02:14:37,319 --> 02:14:43,000
ritualistic precision. It had been drilled into him. Skipping insulin

1748
02:14:43,159 --> 02:14:50,159
wasn't just irresponsible, It could kill him. I followed the

1749
02:14:50,159 --> 02:14:53,359
faint electric buzz toward the back of the house, a

1750
02:14:53,520 --> 02:14:57,239
sound I knew well. It was always there when I visited.

1751
02:14:58,600 --> 02:15:02,640
The workshop ran in its own circuit, something he wired himself.

1752
02:15:04,079 --> 02:15:07,359
Even when he wasn't home, He left certain things running.

1753
02:15:08,560 --> 02:15:11,439
The world doesn't pause just because I step out, he

1754
02:15:11,600 --> 02:15:18,680
used to say. Across the threshold and stepped inside. The

1755
02:15:18,720 --> 02:15:22,600
air inside was heavy with solder and paper. The whir

1756
02:15:22,840 --> 02:15:26,159
of a low powered van came from the corner. Dust

1757
02:15:26,279 --> 02:15:29,760
hung in shafts of afternoon light, filtering through the narrow window.

1758
02:15:31,359 --> 02:15:36,319
My eyes moved across the space, automatically, picking up old landmarks,

1759
02:15:37,079 --> 02:15:41,199
the metal rack of spools and wires, the blinking VHS converter,

1760
02:15:41,319 --> 02:15:45,039
and the shelf above the filing cabinet. The digital thermometer

1761
02:15:45,239 --> 02:15:49,920
whiged between two brakes on the floor. But something was

1762
02:15:50,000 --> 02:15:57,439
different this time, the sound a beeping. I moved toward it,

1763
02:15:57,920 --> 02:16:01,439
but I didn't reach for it yet. My eyes caught

1764
02:16:01,479 --> 02:16:07,600
something else first. The chalkboard covered almost the entire wall.

1765
02:16:08,520 --> 02:16:11,479
He had bolted it directly into the studs years ago.

1766
02:16:12,439 --> 02:16:15,560
I remember watching him do it, sweating through his shirt,

1767
02:16:15,880 --> 02:16:19,319
mumbling about how dry wall was the enemy of permanence.

1768
02:16:20,720 --> 02:16:26,000
Now it was covered in layers of overlapping diagrams, notes, sketches,

1769
02:16:26,199 --> 02:16:31,479
and pin photographs. The usual chaos was there, but this

1770
02:16:31,680 --> 02:16:37,959
time it was all focused. Everything pointed to one subject,

1771
02:16:39,600 --> 02:16:45,799
more people. There were diagrams of hand structures, claw curvature,

1772
02:16:46,200 --> 02:16:51,079
and comparative models against known borrowing mammals. There were skeletal

1773
02:16:51,120 --> 02:16:54,319
projections showing how a human spine would have to evolve

1774
02:16:54,639 --> 02:16:59,399
to function primarily in a crouched lateral motion. Heat mapping

1775
02:16:59,479 --> 02:17:04,360
charts said overlaid with seismographic readings with annotations in read ink.

1776
02:17:05,639 --> 02:17:10,200
He'd written detailed estimates on hearing ranges, potential hive networks,

1777
02:17:10,520 --> 02:17:15,239
and low frequency signal behavior. Pinned to the center of

1778
02:17:15,280 --> 02:17:21,280
the board was a photo black and white grainy taken

1779
02:17:21,360 --> 02:17:26,479
from above a depression in the earth. The soil looked

1780
02:17:26,479 --> 02:17:32,600
compressed inward with unnatural symmetry. Below it, he'd written a date,

1781
02:17:33,360 --> 02:17:39,479
a coordinate, set a single phrase too consistent to be weather.

1782
02:17:41,920 --> 02:17:45,239
I scanned the rest of the wall. A long timeline

1783
02:17:45,280 --> 02:17:50,479
stretched across the upper edge, all of it converged. He

1784
02:17:50,520 --> 02:17:55,559
had found something. I realized he had gone to find proof.

1785
02:18:00,319 --> 02:18:03,840
Grew louder as I moved toward the bench. It was

1786
02:18:03,879 --> 02:18:08,399
coming from a handheld GPS receiver. The screen was small

1787
02:18:08,440 --> 02:18:12,639
and monochrome. A single blinking dot pulsed on the display.

1788
02:18:14,360 --> 02:18:18,000
Next to it was a folded piece of paper, torn

1789
02:18:18,040 --> 02:18:23,239
at the edge, written in sharp block letters. I recognized

1790
02:18:23,239 --> 02:18:28,639
this handwriting immediately. I'll assume you'll be the one to

1791
02:18:28,680 --> 02:18:33,360
find this, nephew. I knew it'd be you. I finally

1792
02:18:33,399 --> 02:18:36,879
found something, and I want you to see it. Follow

1793
02:18:36,959 --> 02:18:44,200
the signal. I'll finally prove myself right to you. I

1794
02:18:44,239 --> 02:18:49,479
picked up the GPS. The signal was holding steady, still transmitting.

1795
02:18:50,920 --> 02:18:54,559
I took a breath. My throat felt dry. I took

1796
02:18:54,600 --> 02:18:58,719
the medicine into my bag, pocketed the GPS unit, and

1797
02:18:58,879 --> 02:19:03,200
walked out the front door. Or The GPS coordinates pointed

1798
02:19:03,239 --> 02:19:06,799
somewhere deep in the northern range, far beyond cell towers

1799
02:19:06,879 --> 02:19:10,639
or road markings. I had to stop twice to recheck

1800
02:19:10,719 --> 02:19:15,879
the route, and once to talk myself into continuing. I

1801
02:19:15,959 --> 02:19:24,440
backed carefully, water, flashlight, the insulin, extra batteries, snacks. I

1802
02:19:24,479 --> 02:19:27,440
stared at the receiver for ten minutes before I even

1803
02:19:27,520 --> 02:19:32,600
turned the ignition. There was no deadline, but it felt

1804
02:19:32,639 --> 02:19:37,319
like I was already running behind. I couldn't tell if

1805
02:19:37,319 --> 02:19:41,479
it was guilt or something heavier. Maybe I'd waited too long,

1806
02:19:42,239 --> 02:19:46,040
maybe I had already missed him. But if he was alive,

1807
02:19:46,799 --> 02:19:49,440
if he was just stranded or hurt, or waiting for

1808
02:19:49,479 --> 02:19:53,079
someone to show up, then I couldn't waste any more time.

1809
02:19:56,000 --> 02:19:59,520
The last stretch of road turned to gravel, then gravel

1810
02:19:59,600 --> 02:20:03,719
gave out entirely. I parked beneath a canopy of thin,

1811
02:20:03,920 --> 02:20:07,559
brittle trees, the leaves scorched from a summer that had

1812
02:20:07,639 --> 02:20:11,799
lasted too long. The signal still blinked on the handheld.

1813
02:20:13,479 --> 02:20:16,760
I walked for over an hour, boots crunching through rock

1814
02:20:16,799 --> 02:20:21,879
and shale, the sky dimming above me. When I finally

1815
02:20:21,959 --> 02:20:25,600
reached the destination, I thought at first I had gone

1816
02:20:25,639 --> 02:20:30,360
the wrong way. There was nothing there, just a low

1817
02:20:30,479 --> 02:20:33,760
ridge of broken stone and a slope that dropped off

1818
02:20:33,799 --> 02:20:38,280
into a dry gulch. The quarry was just beyond it,

1819
02:20:38,479 --> 02:20:43,000
old and half reclaimed by mass and brush. I almost

1820
02:20:43,040 --> 02:20:46,559
turned back to double check the coordinates, but something caught

1821
02:20:46,639 --> 02:20:51,360
my eye. A seam in the cliff side. It was

1822
02:20:51,360 --> 02:20:54,040
in a cave mouth. It was more of a split

1823
02:20:54,120 --> 02:20:59,360
between two walls of stone, vertical and narrow. Someone could

1824
02:20:59,399 --> 02:21:04,879
walk past the and never notice. I stepped closer, shining

1825
02:21:04,879 --> 02:21:09,360
the light into the space. The beam hit nothing just

1826
02:21:09,479 --> 02:21:16,200
there that meant depth. The crack was just wide enough

1827
02:21:16,200 --> 02:21:19,559
to squeeze through. I just did the strap of my

1828
02:21:19,639 --> 02:21:24,520
bag and stepped forward. The walls pressed close around my shoulders,

1829
02:21:24,920 --> 02:21:29,000
rough and uneven. Bits of stone scraped at my sleeves.

1830
02:21:29,959 --> 02:21:32,280
I kept one hand on the rock and the other

1831
02:21:32,479 --> 02:21:36,680
around the flashlight, angling it downward to avoid blinding myself.

1832
02:21:38,200 --> 02:21:41,079
I could get through without too much issue, but a

1833
02:21:41,120 --> 02:21:44,079
small laugh bottled out of me as I thought about

1834
02:21:44,159 --> 02:21:48,600
Uncle squeezing through here. My chest tightened as the gap

1835
02:21:48,680 --> 02:21:55,319
narrowed further. But then after about twenty paces, it opened,

1836
02:21:57,280 --> 02:22:02,760
not completely, but enough to stand comportably. The space beyond

1837
02:22:02,799 --> 02:22:06,959
the crack was colder still. The sound of my boots

1838
02:22:07,000 --> 02:22:12,319
echoed softly, bouncing from surface to surface, dust coat to

1839
02:22:12,399 --> 02:22:15,559
the floor in a thin layer, disturbed only where my

1840
02:22:15,600 --> 02:22:19,319
footprints had cut through. I saw the first one just

1841
02:22:19,360 --> 02:22:26,079
ahead of me, a bootprint, then another, the heel worn unevenly.

1842
02:22:28,920 --> 02:22:33,200
The flashlight being trembled in my hand. I steadied my breath,

1843
02:22:33,479 --> 02:22:40,639
tried to listen. Nothing, just the hum of air deep underground.

1844
02:22:41,079 --> 02:22:46,000
A breast on Following the prince, they curved inward, deeper

1845
02:22:46,200 --> 02:22:50,319
into the passage. The air grew heavier. The light from

1846
02:22:50,360 --> 02:22:54,760
the entrance had disappeared entirely. My flashlight was now the

1847
02:22:54,840 --> 02:23:00,559
only thing keeping the dark from swallowing me. The tunnel

1848
02:23:00,559 --> 02:23:05,319
widened slightly, then narrowed again. The ceiling dropped just enough

1849
02:23:05,360 --> 02:23:10,040
to make the duck. I moved slowly, scanning every inch

1850
02:23:10,120 --> 02:23:15,440
with the light. Something crunched beneath my boot. I crouched

1851
02:23:15,639 --> 02:23:23,159
brushing away dust. A plastic wrapper torn open, corners folded inward,

1852
02:23:23,840 --> 02:23:28,200
dust clinging to the sugar residue. I picked it up

1853
02:23:29,280 --> 02:23:33,559
one of those glucose shoes he always carried strawberry flavor.

1854
02:23:34,680 --> 02:23:37,479
He used to say they tasted worse than cardboard, but

1855
02:23:37,639 --> 02:23:43,239
they worked fast. A few steps later I saw the glove,

1856
02:23:44,479 --> 02:23:48,239
fingers stiff with dirt. The wrist strap was still cinched.

1857
02:23:49,799 --> 02:23:53,760
I turned it over. A tear had opened across the palm,

1858
02:23:54,079 --> 02:23:57,639
the kind that comes from bracing a fall. The ground

1859
02:23:57,680 --> 02:24:02,000
here was uneven and covered in a loose stonees. His

1860
02:24:02,120 --> 02:24:05,680
phone was much further from there. It sat balanced on

1861
02:24:05,760 --> 02:24:09,079
a ledge of rock, screen glowing faintly in the dark.

1862
02:24:10,159 --> 02:24:13,200
The plastic casing was scuffed, and the rubber and tenor

1863
02:24:13,319 --> 02:24:17,399
leaned slightly to one side. The signal bar pulse gently,

1864
02:24:17,920 --> 02:24:23,120
battery at twenty three percent. I reached for it and

1865
02:24:23,200 --> 02:24:26,559
stared at the home screen. I held the phone for

1866
02:24:26,600 --> 02:24:31,719
a moment longer before slipping it into my pocket. Now

1867
02:24:31,840 --> 02:24:35,680
I know for sure he was here. I stood still

1868
02:24:35,760 --> 02:24:43,799
and called his name once, then again, louder. I saw

1869
02:24:43,840 --> 02:24:47,159
it just past the bend in the tunnel, tugged against

1870
02:24:47,159 --> 02:24:51,399
a stone wall, where the cave curved. The sleeping bag

1871
02:24:51,440 --> 02:24:56,040
looked old, almost sunken into the ground, but I recognized

1872
02:24:56,040 --> 02:25:01,559
it immediately, faded green canvas with a broken zipper. He

1873
02:25:01,639 --> 02:25:05,319
had owned it for decades. I remember him using it

1874
02:25:05,360 --> 02:25:07,399
in the woods when I was still too young to

1875
02:25:07,479 --> 02:25:11,000
carry my own pack. He used to say that newer

1876
02:25:11,040 --> 02:25:16,680
ones trapped too much moisture. I moved fast, boots scraping

1877
02:25:16,719 --> 02:25:22,200
against loose grit, My chest tightened with something close to hope.

1878
02:25:22,719 --> 02:25:26,879
My voice came before I even reached him, Uncle Warren.

1879
02:25:27,479 --> 02:25:30,799
I heard myself say, it's me. I brought your meds.

1880
02:25:31,079 --> 02:25:35,440
What the hell are you doing down here? The beam

1881
02:25:35,479 --> 02:25:38,559
of the flashlight wavered slightly as I knelt beside him.

1882
02:25:39,680 --> 02:25:43,120
He hadn't moved. The top half of the bag was

1883
02:25:43,159 --> 02:25:46,879
pulled up to his shoulders, his arms resting across his chest,

1884
02:25:47,520 --> 02:25:51,399
hands tucked beneath the flap. His head leaned against the

1885
02:25:51,440 --> 02:25:54,959
cave wall at a slight angle. His glasses were still

1886
02:25:55,000 --> 02:25:58,120
perched on his forehead, pushed up the way he always

1887
02:25:58,159 --> 02:26:02,600
wore them when working on something in close range. I

1888
02:26:02,680 --> 02:26:07,639
reached out and touched his shoulder. The fabric was damp.

1889
02:26:10,959 --> 02:26:13,879
My throat closed before I could call his name again.

1890
02:26:15,120 --> 02:26:18,239
I shifted the light downward, trying to get a better look.

1891
02:26:20,159 --> 02:26:22,399
That was when I saw the color of the fabric

1892
02:26:22,479 --> 02:26:28,479
change from green to black, stained through the canvas. Wasn't

1893
02:26:28,520 --> 02:26:34,239
folded in at his stomach, it had collapsed. I gripped

1894
02:26:34,239 --> 02:26:37,479
the zipper and pulled it back. His chest had carved

1895
02:26:37,479 --> 02:26:41,280
in where the sleeping bag had dipped. Flesh and bone

1896
02:26:41,360 --> 02:26:45,079
had been torn apart. His torso was still whole above

1897
02:26:45,120 --> 02:26:49,760
his ribs, skin pale and drawn, but everything below that

1898
02:26:49,920 --> 02:26:53,799
had been opened, not by a blade. There was no

1899
02:26:53,920 --> 02:26:59,760
clean line. The wounds looked jagged, pulled apart. His adomen

1900
02:26:59,799 --> 02:27:04,360
had been torn open in wide uneven ridges. Muscles and

1901
02:27:04,440 --> 02:27:07,879
viscera were exposed beneath the shredded fabric of his shirt.

1902
02:27:09,040 --> 02:27:11,719
The blood had soaked into the bag long enough to

1903
02:27:11,760 --> 02:27:16,200
turn it thick at the seams. The skin along his

1904
02:27:16,319 --> 02:27:20,360
side had deep indentations when something had clamped down or

1905
02:27:20,440 --> 02:27:25,040
hooked in. I saw striations in the torn flesh, shallow

1906
02:27:25,079 --> 02:27:29,440
grooves shaped and arcs too round to be teeth. His

1907
02:27:29,559 --> 02:27:32,520
hands were still crossed at his chest, but the one

1908
02:27:32,600 --> 02:27:36,120
to his left was missing its pinky. The stump had

1909
02:27:36,159 --> 02:27:41,479
gone gray. The air around me changed. Then the smell

1910
02:27:41,719 --> 02:27:48,040
reached me, rot, first sharp and acidic, then iron, thick

1911
02:27:48,159 --> 02:27:54,440
enough to taste behind it something else, a damp sweetness,

1912
02:27:55,000 --> 02:27:57,639
the scent of compost that had been turned too late

1913
02:27:57,680 --> 02:28:01,479
in the season. I climbed a hand over My mouth

1914
02:28:01,920 --> 02:28:07,040
turned and doubled over. My stomach clenched, and bile forced

1915
02:28:07,040 --> 02:28:10,319
its way up. Before I could stop it. It hit

1916
02:28:10,360 --> 02:28:15,399
the rock floor in a splash. I stayed bent over, gasping,

1917
02:28:15,879 --> 02:28:20,559
a flashlight shaking in my hand. I couldn't look back

1918
02:28:20,600 --> 02:28:26,159
at him, not yet. I closed my eyes and tried

1919
02:28:26,200 --> 02:28:29,120
to breathe through my nose. I tried to hold onto

1920
02:28:29,159 --> 02:28:33,639
something else, anything else, but all of it was drowning

1921
02:28:33,840 --> 02:28:36,639
under the smell and the sound of my own pulse

1922
02:28:36,799 --> 02:28:41,280
pounding in my ears. I forced myself to step back

1923
02:28:41,319 --> 02:28:45,000
from the body. My legs moved, but my eyes didn't

1924
02:28:45,040 --> 02:28:48,000
want to leave him. I had to blink a few

1925
02:28:48,040 --> 02:28:51,399
times to break whatever spell I had fallen under. The

1926
02:28:51,440 --> 02:28:54,680
flashlight trembled in my hand. I wiped the back of

1927
02:28:54,680 --> 02:28:57,520
my wrist against my mouth and breathed through my teeth.

1928
02:28:59,520 --> 02:29:04,280
Then I heard a faint scrape something against the rock.

1929
02:29:05,799 --> 02:29:10,079
The sound came again, then another higher, pitched from a

1930
02:29:10,120 --> 02:29:15,479
different direction. I froze, my grip on the flashlight tightened.

1931
02:29:16,719 --> 02:29:23,040
I turned slowly, shining the beam toward the sound. Nothing.

1932
02:29:24,920 --> 02:29:30,000
I took one step back, the beam shifted. I was

1933
02:29:30,040 --> 02:29:33,680
when something darted across the far wall, just outside the

1934
02:29:33,760 --> 02:29:38,959
edge of the light, a blur, gray and low. I

1935
02:29:39,040 --> 02:29:43,760
turned the light quickly, but it was already gone. Another

1936
02:29:43,879 --> 02:29:48,399
shape followed, cutting across the dust ahead of me. My

1937
02:29:48,520 --> 02:29:55,760
eyes couldn't track it fast enough. There was more than one.

1938
02:29:56,440 --> 02:29:59,319
I kept my feet planted, trying to count the echoes

1939
02:29:59,360 --> 02:30:05,479
of movement, three maybe four. None of them made a

1940
02:30:05,520 --> 02:30:09,440
sound I could identify, just the soft scrape of nails

1941
02:30:09,799 --> 02:30:13,959
and the drag of their limbs brushing loose gravel. With

1942
02:30:14,120 --> 02:30:17,600
these the things that had done this to Uncle, I

1943
02:30:17,600 --> 02:30:22,040
couldn't know for sure. I crowed slightly and angled the

1944
02:30:22,120 --> 02:30:26,399
light across the walls. They weren't climbing, but they were

1945
02:30:26,440 --> 02:30:30,799
getting closer, hugging the edges of the chamber, staying just

1946
02:30:30,920 --> 02:30:37,079
outside the illumination. Wherever they were, they didn't want to

1947
02:30:37,079 --> 02:30:41,840
be seen. I thought of something Warren once told me.

1948
02:30:43,440 --> 02:30:46,799
Most animals don't want to fight if you scare them.

1949
02:30:47,000 --> 02:30:52,799
They wait, but if you run, they chase. It had

1950
02:30:52,840 --> 02:30:55,399
been drawing a story about a coyote that followed him

1951
02:30:55,440 --> 02:31:00,959
for two miles. I remembered the way he had spoken, then, calm,

1952
02:31:01,000 --> 02:31:03,520
like it was more important to think than to react.

1953
02:31:05,239 --> 02:31:09,600
I could hear scuttling again, louder now, so I stayed

1954
02:31:09,639 --> 02:31:15,399
calm and tested my theory. I flicked the flashlight off.

1955
02:31:17,319 --> 02:31:23,040
The darkness was instant, complete, just pressure and sound. The

1956
02:31:23,079 --> 02:31:28,760
scratching grew sharper closer. I could feel them now, small

1957
02:31:28,840 --> 02:31:33,000
displacements in the air, loose pebbles shifting near my boots.

1958
02:31:34,120 --> 02:31:39,159
Clenched my jaw, counted silently to four, and snapped the

1959
02:31:39,200 --> 02:31:44,000
beam back on. The light cut through the dark like

1960
02:31:44,040 --> 02:31:49,680
a blade. One of them froze mid movement. For a

1961
02:31:49,760 --> 02:31:56,120
split second, I saw it. It had crept within six

1962
02:31:56,159 --> 02:31:59,920
feet of me, crouched low, body compressed in a tense art.

1963
02:32:01,159 --> 02:32:03,959
It skittered off when the light hit it, Its limbs

1964
02:32:04,000 --> 02:32:07,159
locked in place for a fraction of a second. Muscles

1965
02:32:07,200 --> 02:32:11,120
coiled but frozen. The skin on his back was patchy

1966
02:32:11,120 --> 02:32:16,520
and raw, hairless, pink and gray. The skin across the

1967
02:32:16,559 --> 02:32:20,680
skull had been stretched. It looked almost human from the silhouette,

1968
02:32:21,280 --> 02:32:25,639
but it had no eyebrows or cheekbones. The flesh sat low,

1969
02:32:26,200 --> 02:32:30,360
sagging slightly under its weight. It reminded me of moles

1970
02:32:30,360 --> 02:32:33,840
we used to see in the garden, but wrong in proportions.

1971
02:32:34,760 --> 02:32:38,360
The head was too large, the jaw too wide. The

1972
02:32:38,440 --> 02:32:43,399
eyes were small, swollen and dark with the sclarer had

1973
02:32:43,520 --> 02:32:48,399
watery gleam. They didn't reflect the light. They resisted it.

1974
02:32:50,040 --> 02:32:55,760
I watched as the pupils constricted into pinholes. It shrieked,

1975
02:32:56,200 --> 02:33:00,600
not loud, but high and shaking. Then it turned and

1976
02:33:00,719 --> 02:33:03,920
vanished into the rock behind it, slipping through a narrow

1977
02:33:03,959 --> 02:33:09,280
gap I hadn't seen before. A moment later, another shape

1978
02:33:09,280 --> 02:33:14,479
followed it, then another. My hands were soaked in sweat,

1979
02:33:15,000 --> 02:33:18,600
even through the fabric of my sleeves. My heart hammered

1980
02:33:18,639 --> 02:33:23,559
so loud I almost missed the next sound. I turned

1981
02:33:24,600 --> 02:33:30,280
and ran. All those quiet lessons about staying calm and

1982
02:33:30,319 --> 02:33:36,440
holding your ground evaporated. Every animal documentary, an educational video

1983
02:33:36,479 --> 02:33:40,479
i'd ever watched, crumbled under the sound of claws skittering

1984
02:33:40,520 --> 02:33:45,559
against stone. I ran hard, light swinging in frantic arcs

1985
02:33:45,559 --> 02:33:49,760
across the tunnel walls. The beam flickered against rock and dust,

1986
02:33:50,040 --> 02:33:53,559
and things I could not name. My bag clipped the

1987
02:33:53,559 --> 02:33:58,159
side of the cave. I stumbled, caught myself, and kept moving.

1988
02:33:59,520 --> 02:34:03,040
I heard them hissed behind me. A sharp click followed

1989
02:34:03,360 --> 02:34:08,399
close to my left, then another above. One of them

1990
02:34:08,520 --> 02:34:12,079
was moving across the ceiling. I heard the scrape of

1991
02:34:12,079 --> 02:34:15,879
its limbs and the dull thood of its body repositioning overhead.

1992
02:34:17,440 --> 02:34:20,639
I couldn't look. I didn't want to see how close

1993
02:34:20,680 --> 02:34:25,760
it was. My lungs burned, my throat felt raw. The

1994
02:34:25,840 --> 02:34:28,559
air was heavy and damp and thick with the scent

1995
02:34:28,639 --> 02:34:33,239
of something. I could see the narrow path ahead, the

1996
02:34:33,280 --> 02:34:36,600
one I had come through the tunnel. I never felt

1997
02:34:36,639 --> 02:34:40,200
so long. The beam of my flashlight hit the rock

1998
02:34:40,479 --> 02:34:47,479
just ahead. That was when one lunged. It came from

1999
02:34:47,520 --> 02:34:50,559
the dark on my right, a blur of pale limbs

2000
02:34:50,559 --> 02:34:54,840
and teeth. I turned just enough to avoid it. Its

2001
02:34:54,959 --> 02:34:58,000
claws raked the cave wall and sent a cascade of

2002
02:34:58,079 --> 02:35:02,559
dust across my shoulder. I threw my weight forward, pushed

2003
02:35:02,600 --> 02:35:08,040
off the ground, and ran harder. Then another dropped from above.

2004
02:35:09,479 --> 02:35:15,319
I screamed. It missed barely. It hit the floor behind

2005
02:35:15,360 --> 02:35:21,079
me and skidded, claws dragging I didn't stop. I knew

2006
02:35:21,120 --> 02:35:23,680
they were closing in. I felt the weight of them

2007
02:35:23,719 --> 02:35:30,559
behind me, pressing the air forward, shrinking the distance between us.

2008
02:35:31,079 --> 02:35:36,120
Then claws wrapped around my leg. My body slammed into

2009
02:35:36,159 --> 02:35:39,479
the ground. The impact drove the air from my lungs.

2010
02:35:40,079 --> 02:35:42,959
The flashlight bounced out to my grip and rolled across

2011
02:35:42,959 --> 02:35:47,159
the stone. The beams swung wildly, strobing through the cave

2012
02:35:47,200 --> 02:35:52,799
in broken fragments. I kicked my heel caught something. The

2013
02:35:52,840 --> 02:35:57,319
grip on my leg tightened, pulling. I clawed at the ground.

2014
02:35:57,920 --> 02:36:02,040
My fingers found nothing but dust and up gravel. Another

2015
02:36:02,079 --> 02:36:05,879
shape moved in from the left, crawling, low, eyes leaking,

2016
02:36:06,920 --> 02:36:10,479
its jaw clicked open, saliva dripping from the mouth of

2017
02:36:10,520 --> 02:36:16,239
a mole. A distorted melody, warped by decades of overuse,

2018
02:36:16,840 --> 02:36:22,040
blasted through the cave, mechanical static layered over digital tones.

2019
02:36:24,040 --> 02:36:28,319
The motor roller it had slid from my jacket pocket

2020
02:36:28,360 --> 02:36:31,840
when I hit the floor. The antenna stuck at an angle.

2021
02:36:32,319 --> 02:36:36,840
The screen glowed. We were close enough to the surface.

2022
02:36:36,879 --> 02:36:45,319
Now it had found a signal. Everything it had missed. Calls, voicemails,

2023
02:36:45,440 --> 02:36:51,680
alerts had come through at once. Dozens, maybe hundreds the

2024
02:36:51,719 --> 02:36:56,600
speaker vibrated against the stone. Every sound echoed through the tunnel,

2025
02:36:56,920 --> 02:37:02,760
magnified tenfold. I'd always marked the ring tone, a broken

2026
02:37:02,799 --> 02:37:07,719
remix of old midiphiles, layered with sirens and overlapping voice prompts.

2027
02:37:08,639 --> 02:37:13,399
It sounded awful. The thing on my legs shrieked and

2028
02:37:13,479 --> 02:37:16,760
let go. Its arms snapped up to shield its head.

2029
02:37:17,680 --> 02:37:21,159
The one crawling towards me recoiled, clawing at its skull.

2030
02:37:22,280 --> 02:37:25,360
Both of them backed away from the phone, their bodies

2031
02:37:25,399 --> 02:37:30,639
twisting against the walls, trying to escape the sound. One

2032
02:37:30,680 --> 02:37:34,520
slammed into the rock so hard dust exploded from the ceiling.

2033
02:37:35,319 --> 02:37:39,200
Another scraped at its own ears, tearing shallow furrows into

2034
02:37:39,239 --> 02:37:43,319
the sides of its head. The ring tone kept playing,

2035
02:37:44,120 --> 02:37:48,719
the cave vibrated with it. Loops of distorted melody collided

2036
02:37:49,040 --> 02:37:54,360
with incoming alert and static gridden voicemails. I pushed myself

2037
02:37:54,440 --> 02:37:57,440
up and grabbed the flashlight. The beam caught one of

2038
02:37:57,479 --> 02:38:02,559
the creature's mid turn, breamed, and scrambled back into the dark.

2039
02:38:04,399 --> 02:38:07,600
The crack of the cliff side was ahead. I threw

2040
02:38:07,680 --> 02:38:12,639
myself through it, shoulders, slamming into the stone on either side.

2041
02:38:12,879 --> 02:38:15,639
The cold air outside hit my face in chest like

2042
02:38:15,680 --> 02:38:19,280
a tide. I dropped to my knees on the gravel

2043
02:38:19,319 --> 02:38:27,760
slope just beyond the entrance, but above me sunlight. I

2044
02:38:27,840 --> 02:38:33,680
lugged up and saw the sky. I never found the

2045
02:38:33,719 --> 02:38:36,799
courage to go back. I wish I could say I

2046
02:38:36,840 --> 02:38:41,239
went back in there retrieved my uncle's body, but I

2047
02:38:41,360 --> 02:38:46,000
was scared. I gave an anonymous tip to the police.

2048
02:38:46,239 --> 02:38:49,760
I found the body, and later the cave was sealed

2049
02:38:49,799 --> 02:38:54,760
off because it was deemed too dangerous. The official story

2050
02:38:55,280 --> 02:38:58,280
was a lonely hermit losing his life in a cave.

2051
02:39:00,799 --> 02:39:13,079
But I knew better. I used to tell people I

2052
02:39:13,200 --> 02:39:18,920
enjoyed teaching. It wasn't true, not really, but it sounded

2053
02:39:18,959 --> 02:39:22,520
better than admitting that the job just kept me busy.

2054
02:39:24,000 --> 02:39:26,280
Most of the staff thought I had my life sorted.

2055
02:39:27,200 --> 02:39:30,239
They didn't see how I lingered in my classroom after hours,

2056
02:39:30,600 --> 02:39:33,120
were tending to grade so I didn't have to go

2057
02:39:33,239 --> 02:39:36,159
home to a flat that felt like a holding cell.

2058
02:39:37,440 --> 02:39:41,760
People see what makes them comfortable. I never corrected them.

2059
02:39:44,399 --> 02:39:49,079
That Monday started like any other. Rain streaked across the windows,

2060
02:39:49,520 --> 02:39:52,719
a steady drizzle that made the whole building feel half asleep.

2061
02:39:53,719 --> 02:39:56,600
My students filed in with their usual mix of muttering

2062
02:39:56,799 --> 02:40:01,920
and half hearted chatter, jacket stripping trainers, squeaking on the laminate.

2063
02:40:03,280 --> 02:40:07,239
I didn't have the energy for anything ambitious, so I

2064
02:40:07,360 --> 02:40:12,479
opened with a simple warm up exercise. Draw a character

2065
02:40:12,600 --> 02:40:16,040
you'd like to write about. This term doesn't matter who.

2066
02:40:16,200 --> 02:40:24,239
Someone from a story, someone from imagination. Ten minutes, pencils scratched.

2067
02:40:24,799 --> 02:40:28,399
A few kids argued over colored pencils. One boy tried

2068
02:40:28,399 --> 02:40:31,040
to draw a dragon so massive it took up the

2069
02:40:31,239 --> 02:40:38,840
entire page. Normal chaos, comforting. Even then my eyes drifted

2070
02:40:38,879 --> 02:40:43,520
to the back row. Joel Watkins sat hunched over his desk,

2071
02:40:44,040 --> 02:40:49,559
shoulders tight, tongue caught between his teeth and concentration. He

2072
02:40:49,719 --> 02:40:53,040
was a quiet kid. The saw too, apologized when he

2073
02:40:53,079 --> 02:40:57,680
hadn't done anything wrong. I expected something gentle from him,

2074
02:40:58,000 --> 02:41:02,959
a cartoon mascot, maybe, But when he slid the paper

2075
02:41:03,040 --> 02:41:06,799
to the edge of his desk, almost shyly, something in

2076
02:41:06,879 --> 02:41:14,760
my chest went cold. The face he drawn wasn't fantasy.

2077
02:41:15,959 --> 02:41:18,799
It was familiar in a way that made my breath stall.

2078
02:41:20,399 --> 02:41:23,680
It had white, brown eyes and hair that fell unevenly

2079
02:41:23,760 --> 02:41:27,959
across the forehead. A small dark mark along the right

2080
02:41:28,079 --> 02:41:33,799
cheekbone a more. Caleb spent years trying to hide in photos.

2081
02:41:34,559 --> 02:41:39,079
Caleb was my younger brother. We fought like brothers do,

2082
02:41:39,920 --> 02:41:42,520
but I always told myself i'd look out for him.

2083
02:41:43,760 --> 02:41:46,559
That night in the woods was just another argument that

2084
02:41:46,639 --> 02:41:50,719
went too far, another moment I replayed so often it

2085
02:41:50,840 --> 02:41:56,680
lost its edges. And that was the last time I

2086
02:41:56,719 --> 02:42:02,000
saw him. Twenty years since i'd last seen my brother's face,

2087
02:42:03,559 --> 02:42:07,000
and here it was, in pencil on loose leaf paper,

2088
02:42:07,559 --> 02:42:11,360
sketched by a boy who wasn't even born when Caled disappeared.

2089
02:42:12,959 --> 02:42:18,520
I forced myself to speak, keeping my tone steady interesting.

2090
02:42:19,280 --> 02:42:25,680
Who's this meant to be? Joel hesitated, His pencil hovered

2091
02:42:25,799 --> 02:42:29,440
over the drawing. Then he wrote a title in small

2092
02:42:29,479 --> 02:42:36,399
block letters above the head, the Boy in the Leaves.

2093
02:42:38,559 --> 02:42:42,799
Something crawled up the back of my neck. Where'd you

2094
02:42:42,840 --> 02:42:47,920
get the idea? I asked. He looked up at me,

2095
02:42:48,520 --> 02:42:55,040
uncomplicated and earnest, as if the answer were obvious. He

2096
02:42:55,200 --> 02:43:01,719
told me to draw him, he said, so you'd see,

2097
02:43:02,000 --> 02:43:05,959
And just like that, the rain outside felt louder, the

2098
02:43:06,040 --> 02:43:09,719
room colder, and the years I'd spent burying my brother's

2099
02:43:09,760 --> 02:43:14,760
memory shifted, as if something beneath them had just begun

2100
02:43:15,079 --> 02:43:21,280
to move. I spent the rest of the day convincing

2101
02:43:21,360 --> 02:43:26,200
myself it meant nothing. Kids drew weird things. They copied

2102
02:43:26,200 --> 02:43:30,520
each other, They absorbed stray details from conversations they shouldn't

2103
02:43:30,520 --> 02:43:34,000
have been listening to. It was easier to believe in

2104
02:43:34,040 --> 02:43:38,959
coincidence than to even touch the possibility of something intentional.

2105
02:43:40,719 --> 02:43:43,719
By the next morning, I'd built a neat little wall

2106
02:43:43,760 --> 02:43:48,520
around it. One drawing wasn't an omen it was just

2107
02:43:48,600 --> 02:43:54,639
a drawing. Then the class turned in their free write assignments.

2108
02:43:55,319 --> 02:43:58,399
I was flipping through them during silent reading when I

2109
02:43:58,479 --> 02:44:01,360
noticed the short piece from a girl who normally wrote

2110
02:44:01,360 --> 02:44:08,399
about princesses and ponies. This time she described quote, a

2111
02:44:08,479 --> 02:44:13,479
boy who stood under the trees, smiling, a lopsided smile

2112
02:44:13,600 --> 02:44:17,760
that revealed a chipped front tooth. I couldn't help but

2113
02:44:17,799 --> 02:44:20,879
think about the chip Caleb hadgotten from falling off his

2114
02:44:20,959 --> 02:44:25,840
bike at age seven. My throat tightened. I set it

2115
02:44:25,879 --> 02:44:31,159
aside and grabbed the next Another story, another boy. This

2116
02:44:31,319 --> 02:44:35,159
one described the way he laughed quote, like he couldn't

2117
02:44:35,200 --> 02:44:40,399
quite catch his breath. That was Caleb, too. He used

2118
02:44:40,399 --> 02:44:44,760
to wheeze when he laughed hard enough. Third assignment wrote

2119
02:44:44,799 --> 02:44:48,000
about a boy who walked funny, like he had a

2120
02:44:48,040 --> 02:44:52,000
stone in his shoe, Caleb at one leg slightly shorter

2121
02:44:52,120 --> 02:44:55,479
than the other, but only my family ever noticed it.

2122
02:44:57,280 --> 02:45:00,520
I felt my pulse climbing, but he wasn't Fear that

2123
02:45:00,600 --> 02:45:06,360
hit me first. It was irritation, a sour hot flare

2124
02:45:06,399 --> 02:45:11,280
of anger. Someone had to be behind this, some older

2125
02:45:11,319 --> 02:45:14,600
kids spreading a cruel story, Maybe a sibling at home

2126
02:45:14,680 --> 02:45:18,040
feeding their younger brothers and sisters. Details about my family.

2127
02:45:19,399 --> 02:45:25,600
Kids could be thoughtless, sometimes their parents were worse. And

2128
02:45:25,719 --> 02:45:32,120
beneath that irritation was shame, an old familiar shape that

2129
02:45:32,280 --> 02:45:36,239
whispered I was being ridiculous for carrying this much, that

2130
02:45:36,360 --> 02:45:41,879
I was overreacting, that it shouldn't matter anymore. While silent

2131
02:45:41,959 --> 02:45:45,879
reading ended, I closed the stack of assignments and addressed

2132
02:45:45,920 --> 02:45:51,040
the class as lightly as I could. These stories you've written,

2133
02:45:51,719 --> 02:45:54,280
I said, a lot of you seemed to have chosen

2134
02:45:54,319 --> 02:45:58,239
the same character this week. Did someone plan that or

2135
02:45:58,239 --> 02:46:03,799
did you talk about it beforehand? They all shook her head.

2136
02:46:04,120 --> 02:46:09,159
A few exchange confused glances. No one told us to.

2137
02:46:09,879 --> 02:46:16,280
One girl said, well, we just saw him, saw him.

2138
02:46:17,520 --> 02:46:20,639
I kept my voice casual, but my chest felt tight

2139
02:46:22,000 --> 02:46:26,040
in our dreams. Another kid said it was the same boy.

2140
02:46:26,600 --> 02:46:33,479
The third added, as if clarifying something obvious. I swallowed, okay,

2141
02:46:33,520 --> 02:46:40,799
but why him? Why that face? Silence settled. Then one

2142
02:46:40,840 --> 02:46:44,040
of the boys, a small, nervous kid who chewed the

2143
02:46:44,079 --> 02:46:48,360
sleeves of his jumper, raised his hand halfway, then put

2144
02:46:48,399 --> 02:46:54,000
it down again. I coaxed him gently, his voice wavered.

2145
02:46:55,760 --> 02:46:58,840
He said to me that he used to be a brother,

2146
02:46:59,760 --> 02:47:05,120
but he's different now. He hesitated, I starting to the floor.

2147
02:47:06,879 --> 02:47:13,639
He wants you to find him. The room seemed to

2148
02:47:13,680 --> 02:47:18,319
hold its breath. I forced the tight smile, muttered something

2149
02:47:18,399 --> 02:47:22,760
about imagination and recurring themes, and dismissed them for break.

2150
02:47:23,719 --> 02:47:27,600
But my mind was already sliding in motion, gears turning

2151
02:47:27,639 --> 02:47:34,239
the way they hadn't in years. This couldn't continue. If

2152
02:47:34,239 --> 02:47:37,840
someone was spreading stories about my family. I needed to

2153
02:47:37,959 --> 02:47:42,040
know if someone was manipulating these kids. It had to

2154
02:47:42,079 --> 02:47:46,520
stop before it became a full blown rumor mill. So

2155
02:47:47,159 --> 02:47:52,360
I decided to investigate. Quietly, ask around, check for older siblings,

2156
02:47:52,920 --> 02:47:56,120
see who had started the boy in the leaves idea.

2157
02:47:58,200 --> 02:48:04,399
But deep down, thing colder whispered that this had already spiraled,

2158
02:48:05,719 --> 02:48:13,600
and I was catching it too late. I didn't want

2159
02:48:13,639 --> 02:48:17,399
to go to my mother's house. I never did. Being

2160
02:48:17,440 --> 02:48:21,079
there meant brushing up against memories. I spent years smoothing

2161
02:48:21,120 --> 02:48:25,440
into something manageable. But after the drawings at school, the

2162
02:48:25,520 --> 02:48:29,239
whispers about dreams, I couldn't talk myself out of it.

2163
02:48:30,760 --> 02:48:34,159
The drive felt longer than it was. My mother lived

2164
02:48:34,200 --> 02:48:37,719
only twenty minutes away, but every mile dragged as my

2165
02:48:37,840 --> 02:48:42,479
mind raised. When I pulled into the driveway, I was

2166
02:48:42,559 --> 02:48:46,639
struck by how much smaller the house looked, or maybe

2167
02:48:47,000 --> 02:48:50,639
I'd just outgrown it while she stayed frozen in her grief.

2168
02:48:52,239 --> 02:48:55,760
She opened the door before I knocked. She always did,

2169
02:48:56,159 --> 02:49:01,440
like she spent the days waiting for someone who never came. Evan,

2170
02:49:02,239 --> 02:49:05,600
she said, giving a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes.

2171
02:49:06,680 --> 02:49:09,319
The lines in her face had deepened since I last visited,

2172
02:49:10,239 --> 02:49:16,639
Grief calcified into bone structure. We exchanged the usual awkward pleasantries,

2173
02:49:17,399 --> 02:49:22,120
neither of us addressing why I was really there. When

2174
02:49:22,120 --> 02:49:26,079
the conversation ran out, as it always did, she led

2175
02:49:26,120 --> 02:49:30,440
me down the hall. Caleb's room was still preserved the

2176
02:49:30,479 --> 02:49:34,079
way she kept it since the week he vanished posters,

2177
02:49:34,120 --> 02:49:39,440
pale from sunlight, trophies, untouched bedding smoothed as if expecting

2178
02:49:39,520 --> 02:49:43,799
him to slip under it any minute. I stood in

2179
02:49:43,840 --> 02:49:47,040
the doorway, half expecting to see some sign that the

2180
02:49:47,040 --> 02:49:51,120
intruder from school had been here too, But the room

2181
02:49:51,200 --> 02:49:57,639
was unchanged. That should have comforted me instead, and left

2182
02:49:57,639 --> 02:50:02,600
a knot in my stomach, little disappointment. I hated myself

2183
02:50:02,600 --> 02:50:07,680
for feeling if something had been moved, tampered with, displaced,

2184
02:50:08,520 --> 02:50:13,280
at least it would have meant I wasn't losing my grip. Oh,

2185
02:50:13,520 --> 02:50:17,920
something came, my mother said, suddenly, Turning toward a dresser,

2186
02:50:19,760 --> 02:50:22,159
she pulled an envelope from a drawer and handed it

2187
02:50:22,159 --> 02:50:30,799
to me, no return address, just this. Inside it was

2188
02:50:30,840 --> 02:50:37,600
a drawing crayon, rough, unsteady lines. It was of Caleb,

2189
02:50:37,959 --> 02:50:43,600
stood in our old backyard, smiling, same uneven haircut, same

2190
02:50:43,680 --> 02:50:46,959
bright eyes, same way he tilted his head like he

2191
02:50:47,079 --> 02:50:53,680
was listening. My throat tightened. You sent this, didn't you,

2192
02:50:54,479 --> 02:51:01,959
she asked, quietly, some kind of apology, No, I whispered.

2193
02:51:03,399 --> 02:51:06,840
I couldn't take my eyes off the picture. The timeline

2194
02:51:06,879 --> 02:51:11,239
clicked into place A week ago was exactly when the

2195
02:51:11,280 --> 02:51:16,079
students claimed the dreams began. But something else snagged at me,

2196
02:51:16,760 --> 02:51:21,079
a detail I couldn't immediately place. I stared at the

2197
02:51:21,159 --> 02:51:24,399
yard behind Caleb in the drawing, at the clothes line,

2198
02:51:24,639 --> 02:51:30,319
the fence, and the sloping hill. Then it hit me.

2199
02:51:31,799 --> 02:51:36,520
The hill was wrong. In the drawing, the ground behind

2200
02:51:36,600 --> 02:51:42,000
him dipped sharply, a small steep drop. But our backyard

2201
02:51:42,000 --> 02:51:46,159
never had that, not the way it was drawn. It

2202
02:51:46,239 --> 02:51:49,959
looked like the slope from the woods, the embankment, the

2203
02:51:49,959 --> 02:51:53,479
one from the night he vanished, the one I've spent

2204
02:51:53,600 --> 02:52:01,600
twenty years remembering as gentle, forgettable, harmless. But here in crayon,

2205
02:52:02,280 --> 02:52:06,959
it looked exactly as it truly had, a sudden drop,

2206
02:52:07,840 --> 02:52:15,159
a fall that could hurt a child. My stomach twisted, Evan,

2207
02:52:15,879 --> 02:52:20,799
My mom asked, what is it. I folded the drawing

2208
02:52:20,879 --> 02:52:25,040
before she could see my face. Whoever was sketching Caleb

2209
02:52:25,360 --> 02:52:30,879
wasn't remembering the past. They were remembering my past, the

2210
02:52:30,920 --> 02:52:35,319
real one, the one I'd never said out loud. They

2211
02:52:35,399 --> 02:52:41,040
knew the place I'd spent twenty years pretending didn't exist.

2212
02:52:44,200 --> 02:52:48,040
By the next morning, whatever thin veneer of professionalism I'd

2213
02:52:48,079 --> 02:52:52,079
been clinging to had worn down to threads. I wasn't

2214
02:52:52,120 --> 02:52:55,319
thinking like a teacher anymore, nor was I thinking like

2215
02:52:55,360 --> 02:53:00,280
an adult. I just needed answers, and the only people

2216
02:53:00,319 --> 02:53:03,120
who seemed to have any with twelve year olds who

2217
02:53:03,120 --> 02:53:06,440
should have been worrying about lunch room seating arrangements, not

2218
02:53:06,559 --> 02:53:10,479
the last night my brother was alive. I called Joel

2219
02:53:10,479 --> 02:53:15,040
in first. He shuffled into the empty classroom, looking smaller

2220
02:53:15,079 --> 02:53:18,280
than usual, like he knew he shouldn't be part of

2221
02:53:18,319 --> 02:53:25,159
this conversation. I closed the door behind him, Joel, I said,

2222
02:53:25,479 --> 02:53:29,000
keeping my tone, even, I need you to tell me

2223
02:53:29,120 --> 02:53:32,159
where you heard about that boy, the one in your drawing.

2224
02:53:34,399 --> 02:53:37,440
He stared at his shoes. His hands were tucked into

2225
02:53:37,520 --> 02:53:43,840
his sleeves, knuckle whitened through the fabric. I didn't hear it,

2226
02:53:44,600 --> 02:53:51,520
he said, He showed me my jaw tightened, showed you

2227
02:53:51,639 --> 02:53:59,079
how in a dream. A hesitant nod, Joel, it's important

2228
02:53:59,159 --> 02:54:03,639
you're honest. If another student told you about my about

2229
02:54:03,639 --> 02:54:09,520
the boy. He flinched before I finished the sentence. He

2230
02:54:09,639 --> 02:54:14,000
doesn't like when you ask about him, he whispered. He

2231
02:54:14,079 --> 02:54:19,239
wants you to remember on your own, and chill swept

2232
02:54:19,239 --> 02:54:26,319
through me, quick and sharp. Remember what, Joel, shook his

2233
02:54:26,399 --> 02:54:33,000
head rapidly. He told me not to say that part, Joel.

2234
02:54:34,280 --> 02:54:38,079
My voice snapped harder than I intended. He recoiled, and

2235
02:54:38,159 --> 02:54:43,440
I forced myself to soften. What did he mean? The

2236
02:54:43,479 --> 02:54:47,680
boy's eyes filled with a nervous, glassy sheen. He looked

2237
02:54:47,680 --> 02:54:50,440
past me, as though checking the corners of the room.

2238
02:54:52,120 --> 02:54:57,719
He said. His voice shrank to a thread. He said,

2239
02:54:58,159 --> 02:55:05,959
you were there night he changed. My stomach collowed. No

2240
02:55:05,959 --> 02:55:08,440
one knew I'd been with Cale of the night he disappeared.

2241
02:55:09,159 --> 02:55:13,079
I spent years telling the polished version. I hadn't seen

2242
02:55:13,120 --> 02:55:16,760
him after dinner, we argue the day before. I wished

2243
02:55:16,799 --> 02:55:22,120
him good night, A clean lie, a safe lie. I

2244
02:55:22,159 --> 02:55:24,680
had never told a soul that I was the last

2245
02:55:24,719 --> 02:55:29,120
person to see him breathing. Oh do you know that

2246
02:55:30,000 --> 02:55:35,079
I breathed? Joel squeezed his eyes shut, like he expected

2247
02:55:35,120 --> 02:55:40,040
to get in trouble for simply repeating it. Because he

2248
02:55:40,200 --> 02:55:44,479
told me he remembers you, he remembers what you did.

2249
02:55:45,200 --> 02:55:51,479
But he said you remember it wrong. My pulse thudded

2250
02:55:51,559 --> 02:55:57,000
in my ears. Someone something was feeding these kids details

2251
02:55:57,319 --> 02:55:59,959
pulled straight from the memories I'd locked away, too dead

2252
02:56:00,360 --> 02:56:07,399
to go my truth. The one I spent years suffocating, Joel,

2253
02:56:08,040 --> 02:56:14,799
I managed. Did he say anything else? The boy nodded, trembling.

2254
02:56:14,840 --> 02:56:21,479
Now he said he's coming to school today. He wants

2255
02:56:21,520 --> 02:56:26,280
to watch you teach. The words hung in the room

2256
02:56:26,399 --> 02:56:31,440
like smoke. I dismissed him quickly, but I couldn't focus

2257
02:56:31,479 --> 02:56:35,479
on anything. Every time I looked up from my desk,

2258
02:56:36,200 --> 02:56:42,280
my eyes dragged toward the window. By midday, curiosity curdled

2259
02:56:42,360 --> 02:56:48,879
into dread. I finally stood and walked to the glass outside,

2260
02:56:49,360 --> 02:56:52,479
beyond the football pitch, just at the border where the

2261
02:56:52,479 --> 02:56:59,079
school grounds met the first line of trees, stood a figure, small,

2262
02:56:59,639 --> 02:57:08,239
still facing the building, facing me, watching, And though I

2263
02:57:08,239 --> 02:57:11,399
couldn't make out his face through the distance and the glare,

2264
02:57:12,440 --> 02:57:15,639
I knew, with a kind of bone deep certainty that

2265
02:57:15,760 --> 02:57:23,920
bypasses logic, that it was him, Caleb. I don't know how,

2266
02:57:25,600 --> 02:57:33,719
but he was back. By lunchtime, the figure of the

2267
02:57:33,760 --> 02:57:37,159
tree line had vanished. I stood at the edge of

2268
02:57:37,159 --> 02:57:40,879
the football pitch, staring into the woods, half convinced I'd

2269
02:57:40,920 --> 02:57:45,120
imagine the whole thing. The teachers smelling around didn't notice

2270
02:57:45,120 --> 02:57:50,159
anything unusual. Kids shouted, laughed, and kicked balls across the

2271
02:57:50,239 --> 02:57:58,040
damp grass. Everything looked painfully normal, but the trees looked expectant.

2272
02:57:59,040 --> 02:58:04,000
Leaning in as if listening, I told myself I was

2273
02:58:04,040 --> 02:58:08,680
being ridiculous that I needed sleep. Yet my feet carried

2274
02:58:08,719 --> 02:58:11,840
me forward anyway, toward the place where I had seen

2275
02:58:11,920 --> 02:58:17,280
the silhouette. The closer I got, the quieter the world became.

2276
02:58:18,360 --> 02:58:22,680
The kid's voices dissolved, the wind flattened, even the rustle

2277
02:58:22,719 --> 02:58:27,000
of branches dimmed, replaced by a subtle shift of leaves,

2278
02:58:27,520 --> 02:58:31,440
a slow spiraling motion on the forest floor, as if

2279
02:58:31,520 --> 02:58:34,719
whatever had been standing there had only just slipped back

2280
02:58:34,760 --> 02:58:41,959
into cover. My throat tightened. I knew this place, not

2281
02:58:42,079 --> 02:58:45,760
this exact spot, but the feeling of it, the sense

2282
02:58:45,799 --> 02:58:50,280
that the trees were watching, holding their breath. The forest

2283
02:58:50,319 --> 02:58:53,040
where Caleb and I had our last argument didn't look

2284
02:58:53,159 --> 02:58:57,520
like this. It had always seemed smaller in my memories, thinner,

2285
02:58:57,959 --> 02:59:05,159
less oppressive. But memories simplify things, especially when they're hiding something.

2286
02:59:07,520 --> 02:59:10,360
A flash of that night came back sharp enough to sting.

2287
02:59:11,360 --> 02:59:15,000
Caleb's face flushed with frustration, the way he threw his

2288
02:59:15,079 --> 02:59:17,479
hands up and said he was sick of me bossing

2289
02:59:17,520 --> 02:59:21,479
him around, Me spinning away from him, Fueled by resentment

2290
02:59:21,559 --> 02:59:25,440
I didn't want to admit. I carried his footsteps behind me,

2291
02:59:26,159 --> 02:59:31,399
my own anger smothering the thought of turning back, and

2292
02:59:31,440 --> 02:59:37,200
then nothing, just empty air where he'd been for years.

2293
02:59:37,639 --> 02:59:42,200
I clung to the comforting lie Caleb ran away, or

2294
02:59:42,239 --> 02:59:46,799
some one took him, or something else intervened, anything to

2295
02:59:46,879 --> 02:59:53,719
avoid acknowledging the truth that I left him. I stepped

2296
02:59:53,799 --> 02:59:57,920
into the trees, leaves cushioning the ground, forming a gentle

2297
02:59:58,000 --> 03:00:01,920
slope toward a shallow dip in the air. At first

2298
03:00:02,159 --> 03:00:05,360
I thought it was natural, a hollow left by a

2299
03:00:05,399 --> 03:00:09,520
fallen log or the weather. But the shape was wrong,

2300
03:00:10,280 --> 03:00:14,159
a depression the size of a child, curled on their side,

2301
03:00:14,559 --> 03:00:21,719
fresh and undisturbed. Something had been lying here recently, or

2302
03:00:21,760 --> 03:00:28,239
still was just beneath the surface. I crouched, heart hammering,

2303
03:00:28,719 --> 03:00:32,559
and hovered my hand above the leaves. The air felt warm.

2304
03:00:33,799 --> 03:00:37,399
Then a whisper rose from the hollow, thin and fractured,

2305
03:00:37,799 --> 03:00:45,920
drifting up through soil and roots. You left me my

2306
03:00:46,040 --> 03:00:51,399
legs nearly buckled. It wasn't Caleb's voice exactly. It was

2307
03:00:51,479 --> 03:00:55,239
stretched and frayed, as if passed through too many mouths,

2308
03:00:55,719 --> 03:01:00,760
too many years of abandonment. I didn't think. I just

2309
03:01:00,879 --> 03:01:03,719
lunged forward and began tearing through the leaves with my

2310
03:01:03,799 --> 03:01:08,680
bare hands, dragging them aside in frantic handfuls. Dirt under

2311
03:01:08,680 --> 03:01:12,600
my nails, sweat to my forehead, a pounding in my skull,

2312
03:01:12,760 --> 03:01:16,319
screaming that whatever I was about to find, I couldn't

2313
03:01:16,360 --> 03:01:24,239
walk away again. My fingers brushed something smooth paper. I

2314
03:01:24,319 --> 03:01:29,520
pulled it free, a drawing crayon on cheap printer stock,

2315
03:01:30,000 --> 03:01:35,559
fresh and unwrinkled, not a lick of weathering. Caleb's face

2316
03:01:35,639 --> 03:01:39,959
stared back at me, but the proportions were wrong, the

2317
03:01:40,040 --> 03:01:44,319
eyes too large, the smile too wide, stretching past the

2318
03:01:44,399 --> 03:01:48,440
limits of human comfort. The head ankled at a tilt

2319
03:01:48,760 --> 03:01:54,440
no child ever held, but he looked older, not groan.

2320
03:01:54,760 --> 03:02:01,959
Just continued, evolved in the wrong direction, and beneath the

2321
03:02:02,000 --> 03:02:13,479
image an uneven lettering, I'm closer now. By the time

2322
03:02:13,520 --> 03:02:16,479
I left the forest, my hands were shaking hard enough

2323
03:02:16,760 --> 03:02:20,000
that I kept them shoved in my pockets. I told

2324
03:02:20,079 --> 03:02:23,719
myself it was just adrenaline, the remnants of a panic attack,

2325
03:02:24,280 --> 03:02:26,920
the shock of finding a child size hollow, and the

2326
03:02:27,040 --> 03:02:31,600
leaves with a drawing. I had no explanation for what

2327
03:02:31,680 --> 03:02:35,399
I didn't want to admit was simpler. The ground I

2328
03:02:35,440 --> 03:02:38,600
stood on in that clearing matched the terrain I'd spent

2329
03:02:38,719 --> 03:02:42,959
two decades trying not to remember. It looked nothing like

2330
03:02:43,000 --> 03:02:47,319
the softened version I described the police, the gentle incline

2331
03:02:47,360 --> 03:02:51,879
i'd said. I'd convinced myself for that lies so thoroughly

2332
03:02:52,399 --> 03:02:55,879
that finding the truth rendering crayon felt like having the

2333
03:02:55,959 --> 03:03:00,319
floor pulled out from beneath me. The walk back to

2334
03:03:00,360 --> 03:03:04,079
the school blurred again. My breath kept snagging on something

2335
03:03:04,079 --> 03:03:09,639
I couldn't name. When I stepped into my classroom, everything

2336
03:03:09,760 --> 03:03:18,280
looked normal. Kids chatting, pages turning, the scrape of chairs, normal, normal, normal.

2337
03:03:19,440 --> 03:03:23,159
I convinced myself the morning had been an episode e lapse,

2338
03:03:23,719 --> 03:03:28,879
something my mind could fold away. Then a boy at

2339
03:03:28,920 --> 03:03:32,360
the front, the one who hadn't been involved in the drawings,

2340
03:03:32,719 --> 03:03:37,000
muttered to a friend under his breath, he always slowed

2341
03:03:37,040 --> 03:03:44,079
me down. My chest constricted. That was my line from

2342
03:03:44,079 --> 03:03:49,280
that night. Before I could process it, another student parroted,

2343
03:03:50,440 --> 03:03:53,959
I'm not your babysitter in the middle of a conversation

2344
03:03:54,079 --> 03:03:57,760
about football practice. Then at the back of the room,

2345
03:03:57,959 --> 03:04:04,399
someone dropped a pencil and muttered, just go I felt

2346
03:04:04,399 --> 03:04:09,920
my stomach twist. These weren't Caleb's words, they were mine.

2347
03:04:10,879 --> 03:04:14,479
These children are repeating phrases I'd shoved so deep inside

2348
03:04:14,479 --> 03:04:19,360
myself that I'd believe they no longer existed. The walls

2349
03:04:19,360 --> 03:04:22,520
and my constructed narrative, the version of the story I

2350
03:04:22,639 --> 03:04:26,319
rehearsed and told them it it felt true, buckled around me.

2351
03:04:27,479 --> 03:04:31,280
This wasn't about the kids, and it wasn't about dreams.

2352
03:04:31,879 --> 03:04:35,600
Something was bleeding through the cracks in my memory, dragging

2353
03:04:35,639 --> 03:04:40,360
the truth with it. Then a girl who rarely spoke,

2354
03:04:40,639 --> 03:04:44,360
raised her hand slightly. She didn't wait for me to

2355
03:04:44,399 --> 03:04:47,920
call on her. Her eyes when focused, as though she

2356
03:04:48,000 --> 03:04:52,479
were listening to something I couldn't hear. In her own voice,

2357
03:04:52,840 --> 03:04:57,079
but with an inflection too measured, too deliberate, she asked,

2358
03:04:58,840 --> 03:05:04,520
do you remember push him? My vision blurted, the edges

2359
03:05:04,920 --> 03:05:08,079
my knees almost gave out. I had to grip the

2360
03:05:08,159 --> 03:05:13,040
edge of my desk to stay upright. She blinked, confused,

2361
03:05:13,600 --> 03:05:16,399
as if she had no idea she said anything at all.

2362
03:05:18,479 --> 03:05:22,799
That was the moment I knew the problem was me.

2363
03:05:24,639 --> 03:05:28,559
Something in the forest wasn't haunting me. It was peeling

2364
03:05:28,600 --> 03:05:31,559
me open, forcing me to look at the memory I'd

2365
03:05:31,600 --> 03:05:36,479
sealed shut twenty years ago. I couldn't keep pretending the past.

2366
03:05:36,479 --> 03:05:40,399
There's something that happened to me. It was something I did,

2367
03:05:41,360 --> 03:05:46,440
and something out there wanted me to stop lying about it.

2368
03:05:55,479 --> 03:05:58,799
I wasn't going back to the forest. I told myself,

2369
03:05:58,840 --> 03:06:02,280
I'd take the day off, call and sick, do anything

2370
03:06:02,479 --> 03:06:07,360
except fee the madness that had started tearing through my life.

2371
03:06:07,600 --> 03:06:11,000
But morning came and my body moved before my mind

2372
03:06:11,040 --> 03:06:17,639
could protest the desire for answers, overtaking all senses. I

2373
03:06:17,760 --> 03:06:20,239
parked at the edge of the woods, like someone drawn

2374
03:06:20,319 --> 03:06:26,040
by instinct rather than decision. The trees felt tighter, as

2375
03:06:26,079 --> 03:06:30,399
if they had grown inward overnight. The forest floor swallowed sound.

2376
03:06:30,440 --> 03:06:34,040
The moment I stepped off the grass, there was just

2377
03:06:34,079 --> 03:06:38,360
the faint hum of something waiting. I found a large

2378
03:06:38,440 --> 03:06:43,319
depression easily in my memory. It had just looked child sized.

2379
03:06:44,360 --> 03:06:48,959
Today it was deeper, wider, curled into the shape of

2380
03:06:49,040 --> 03:06:54,200
grief I carried for years. I crouched, expecting the faint

2381
03:06:54,239 --> 03:07:01,120
whisper I heard before, but the ground was silent. A

2382
03:07:01,239 --> 03:07:07,280
sound drifted from above, a voice, light and uncertain weaving

2383
03:07:07,360 --> 03:07:11,879
between branches, trying to be a boy's voice, trying to

2384
03:07:11,920 --> 03:07:19,280
be Caleb, except it wasn't right. The pitch wavered, the

2385
03:07:19,360 --> 03:07:23,559
rhythm stuttered, the tone slid from soft to hollow, as

2386
03:07:23,559 --> 03:07:27,840
if the speaker didn't understand what emotion went where It

2387
03:07:27,959 --> 03:07:32,079
was in imitation, built from scraps, stitched together by something

2388
03:07:32,399 --> 03:07:36,159
that understood the shape of a child, but not the soul.

2389
03:07:37,760 --> 03:07:42,760
I froze, staring up into the interlocking limbs. Nothing moved,

2390
03:07:43,120 --> 03:07:48,600
but I felt eyes studying me, practicing me. The memory

2391
03:07:48,680 --> 03:07:54,040
didn't return cleanly. It surfaced in fragments, each one fighting

2392
03:07:54,079 --> 03:07:58,239
against the version I'd rehearsed for years. I saw my

2393
03:07:58,319 --> 03:08:03,319
younger self shove Klee, a hard, frustrated motion meant to

2394
03:08:03,479 --> 03:08:08,920
end the argument, not his life. I clung to that justification.

2395
03:08:09,920 --> 03:08:15,319
I didn't mean harm. I just snapped brother's fight, kid's fall.

2396
03:08:16,040 --> 03:08:20,799
It wasn't It couldn't have been that bad. But the

2397
03:08:20,879 --> 03:08:26,280
next fragment shattered that excuse. Caleb stumbled over the embankment,

2398
03:08:26,760 --> 03:08:29,879
hit the ground with more force than I remembered enough

2399
03:08:29,959 --> 03:08:34,479
the Jarri's breath into a sharp startled gasp. His hand

2400
03:08:34,600 --> 03:08:38,559
grabbed at the leaves, reaching for balance. Long after momentum

2401
03:08:38,559 --> 03:08:42,200
had left him. I felt an old thought. Try to

2402
03:08:42,239 --> 03:08:47,479
surface the one I buried the deepest. He'll get up.

2403
03:08:48,159 --> 03:08:51,799
He always gets up. You don't have to deal with this,

2404
03:08:52,520 --> 03:08:56,680
Just walk, breathe leave it alone. He would get up

2405
03:08:56,719 --> 03:09:01,920
and follow me, like he always did. And then I

2406
03:09:01,959 --> 03:09:07,200
saw when I spent twenty years refusing to acknowledge. I

2407
03:09:07,280 --> 03:09:13,000
turned away because it was easier, because anger had hollowed

2408
03:09:13,040 --> 03:09:17,360
out every instinct except the desire to be free of responsibility,

2409
03:09:18,159 --> 03:09:22,520
Because I told myself distance would make everything less. My fault.

2410
03:09:24,120 --> 03:09:28,200
The memory didn't condemn me outright. It simply showed the

2411
03:09:28,280 --> 03:09:33,639
truth without commentary, and that honesty hurt far more than judgment.

2412
03:09:35,440 --> 03:09:39,319
I felt hollow, a vacancy. The forest seemed eager to

2413
03:09:39,399 --> 03:09:43,879
fill my breath left me in a rush. My vision

2414
03:09:43,959 --> 03:09:48,399
dimmed around the edges from a strange dissociation. I recognized

2415
03:09:48,399 --> 03:09:53,239
too well, the same numbness I cultivated my entire adult

2416
03:09:53,280 --> 03:09:59,360
life to avoid touching this truth. The forest responded to it.

2417
03:10:00,239 --> 03:10:03,360
The leaves rustled with a sound too deliberate to bewind.

2418
03:10:04,159 --> 03:10:08,879
Roots groan softly shifting beneath the soil like mussels waking.

2419
03:10:09,639 --> 03:10:13,200
The boundary between my memory and this place felt thin

2420
03:10:13,319 --> 03:10:19,000
enough to tear. Something caught my eye, a scrap of

2421
03:10:19,000 --> 03:10:23,159
paper pinned to a tree by a sharpened twig. I

2422
03:10:23,239 --> 03:10:29,760
approached slowly. It was another crayon drawing. Caleb lay curled

2423
03:10:29,760 --> 03:10:33,639
in the leaves, knees drawn up the same way. I

2424
03:10:33,719 --> 03:10:38,280
now remembered him lying after the fall. But behind him,

2425
03:10:38,719 --> 03:10:43,520
half emerged from the earth, was a long, pale arm

2426
03:10:44,159 --> 03:10:52,479
stretching toward him, cradling him, comforting him. I pressed a

2427
03:10:52,520 --> 03:10:57,040
hand against the tree to steady myself. The bark felt warm.

2428
03:10:58,879 --> 03:11:03,159
I started to cry, an ugly, shaking sob that dragged

2429
03:11:03,200 --> 03:11:05,520
out of me, as if it had been waiting two

2430
03:11:05,600 --> 03:11:10,239
decades for his chance. The trees echoed it back to me,

2431
03:11:11,440 --> 03:11:15,959
and when the last echo faded, I realized it wasn't

2432
03:11:16,040 --> 03:11:23,840
just copying my sorrow, it was learning me, preparing for something.

2433
03:11:27,440 --> 03:11:31,120
By the time I reached my house, the shaking hadn't stopped.

2434
03:11:31,799 --> 03:11:35,719
My clothes were streaked with dirt. I kept expecting the

2435
03:11:35,760 --> 03:11:41,120
panic to settle into something familiar, numbness or denial, the

2436
03:11:41,159 --> 03:11:45,200
emotional toolkit that had carried me through the last twenty years.

2437
03:11:45,799 --> 03:11:49,399
But the truth was too loud, now echoing through every

2438
03:11:49,479 --> 03:11:53,000
part of me. I closed the door behind me and

2439
03:11:53,120 --> 03:11:57,479
leaned against it. Breath dragged. My brain scrambled for an

2440
03:11:57,600 --> 03:12:01,120
escape route. I could hear myself of trying to rebuild

2441
03:12:01,120 --> 03:12:05,639
the same excuses I'd lived behind all my adult life.

2442
03:12:05,840 --> 03:12:08,959
I'm not required to go back into those words. Nothing

2443
03:12:09,000 --> 03:12:12,600
is forcing me. People live with secrets all the time.

2444
03:12:13,360 --> 03:12:17,719
I already did. I can do it again. But saying

2445
03:12:17,719 --> 03:12:21,840
the words out loud only made them sound cheap, flimsy.

2446
03:12:23,200 --> 03:12:27,360
I didn't believe them anymore, and the house, with its

2447
03:12:27,440 --> 03:12:32,559
suffocating quiet, seemed to know it too. I wondered from

2448
03:12:32,600 --> 03:12:35,239
room to room, rubbing my arms, the chase of a

2449
03:12:35,360 --> 03:12:39,639
chill that wasn't physical. The knowledge I carried, the truth

2450
03:12:39,680 --> 03:12:43,680
I'd avoided for two decades, pressed heavier than any whisper

2451
03:12:43,799 --> 03:12:49,079
or drawing or distorted voice in the forest. I stopped pacing.

2452
03:12:49,920 --> 03:12:54,639
My thoughts split between two clear paths, both terrible in

2453
03:12:54,760 --> 03:13:00,399
different ways. One was the path I knew best students.

2454
03:13:01,200 --> 03:13:04,319
Pack a bag, get in the car, drive until the

2455
03:13:04,360 --> 03:13:07,559
forest was a rumor in the rear view mirror, seal

2456
03:13:07,680 --> 03:13:11,520
the truth back inside, and let time do the bearying again.

2457
03:13:13,000 --> 03:13:18,200
The second path fell like stepping into fire. Accountability, go

2458
03:13:18,319 --> 03:13:22,760
back face what I did accept whatever waited for me

2459
03:13:22,959 --> 03:13:27,920
in those trees. My pulse stooded against my ribs as

2460
03:13:27,920 --> 03:13:32,239
I stood there weighing them. The first option glittered with

2461
03:13:32,360 --> 03:13:36,319
false safety. The second burned with everything I'd spent twenty

2462
03:13:36,399 --> 03:13:44,079
years running from. Then the tapping started, a gentle rhythm

2463
03:13:44,200 --> 03:13:48,920
on the back door. Three light knocks, a pause, then

2464
03:13:49,000 --> 03:13:52,719
one more. A pattern I hadn't heard since I was

2465
03:13:52,760 --> 03:13:57,479
a teenager, Caleb's pattern, the way he asked me to

2466
03:13:57,559 --> 03:14:00,280
walk with him to the bathroom at night, the way

2467
03:14:00,280 --> 03:14:06,760
he told me, without speaking that he was scared. The

2468
03:14:06,840 --> 03:14:11,000
sound froze me where I stood. I knew what waited

2469
03:14:11,000 --> 03:14:14,280
on the other side couldn't truly be Caleb. I knew

2470
03:14:14,280 --> 03:14:18,760
it was an echo, a mimicry, but the message inside

2471
03:14:18,799 --> 03:14:28,680
the sound was clearer than anything supernatural. Choose. I slid

2472
03:14:28,680 --> 03:14:32,159
down the wall and onto the floor, body shaking as

2473
03:14:32,200 --> 03:14:36,639
the weight of the choice crossed against my chest. I

2474
03:14:36,719 --> 03:14:41,879
can't leave him again, I whispered, My voice cracked. Saying

2475
03:14:41,920 --> 03:14:44,440
it out loud made it real in a way nothing

2476
03:14:44,440 --> 03:14:51,000
else had. I can't do that twice. I wiped my

2477
03:14:51,079 --> 03:14:53,840
face with the heel of my hand and forced myself

2478
03:14:53,879 --> 03:14:58,479
to stand. My legs felt unsteady, but willing, as if

2479
03:14:58,520 --> 03:15:01,200
some part of me had fired, he stopped resisting the

2480
03:15:01,280 --> 03:15:05,879
direction my life had always been pushing me toward. I

2481
03:15:05,959 --> 03:15:09,360
opened the back door. The night air met me like

2482
03:15:09,399 --> 03:15:14,360
a held breath released. No creature waited there, no shadow,

2483
03:15:14,600 --> 03:15:19,159
no beckoning hand. It was just the forest in the distance,

2484
03:15:19,760 --> 03:15:28,120
patient and waiting. I stepped outside, choosing, and as I

2485
03:15:28,200 --> 03:15:32,680
reached the tree line, pale moths drifted down from the branches,

2486
03:15:33,120 --> 03:15:37,360
spiraling into a luminous path that well deeper into the woods,

2487
03:15:38,639 --> 03:15:46,120
marking the way forward. Walking into the forest felt different

2488
03:15:46,159 --> 03:15:51,120
this time. It wasn't like trespassing. It was like returning

2489
03:15:51,159 --> 03:15:55,440
to a place I had abandoned. Mid sentence, the fear

2490
03:15:55,600 --> 03:15:59,879
was still there, humming under my skin, tightening the back

2491
03:16:00,159 --> 03:16:04,280
my throat, But that wasn't the thing guiding me anymore.

2492
03:16:05,840 --> 03:16:10,600
Responsibility was heavier than fear, and for the first time

2493
03:16:10,680 --> 03:16:14,159
in twenty years, I didn't try to set it down.

2494
03:16:15,920 --> 03:16:19,360
The trees parted as I moved deeper, adjusting around me

2495
03:16:19,559 --> 03:16:24,600
in slow, deliberate shifts. The forest wasn't hiding anything tonight.

2496
03:16:25,799 --> 03:16:32,360
It was preparing a path, an invitation. The embankment appeared

2497
03:16:32,399 --> 03:16:37,239
through the darkness lit by a strange sourceless glow, despite

2498
03:16:37,280 --> 03:16:41,040
the absence of a moon. The sight of it punched

2499
03:16:41,079 --> 03:16:46,000
the breath out of me. Even without the imitation of light,

2500
03:16:46,840 --> 03:16:50,120
I would have known it. My body had remembered this

2501
03:16:50,239 --> 03:16:55,120
place long before my mind ever dared to there. It

2502
03:16:55,319 --> 03:16:59,959
was the hollow, the ground, shaped by a small body,

2503
03:17:00,440 --> 03:17:04,719
lying curdled into itself, her memory pressed into the earth

2504
03:17:04,840 --> 03:17:11,239
like a fossil. A voice drifted from the depression, soft

2505
03:17:11,319 --> 03:17:20,280
and trembling. You remember me now. My throat tightened. The

2506
03:17:20,360 --> 03:17:27,399
cadence was almost perfect, almost a half echo of a

2507
03:17:27,520 --> 03:17:32,120
voice I'd spent years refusing to replay. I sang to

2508
03:17:32,120 --> 03:17:35,920
my knees before I even realized I was falling. The

2509
03:17:36,000 --> 03:17:39,360
confession came out of me, like something being mined from

2510
03:17:39,440 --> 03:17:44,000
deep inside my ribs, each word scraping on its way up.

2511
03:17:45,559 --> 03:17:51,200
I pushed you, I said I was angry. I wanted space, freedom,

2512
03:17:51,840 --> 03:17:55,360
a moment where I wasn't the only one responsible for everything.

2513
03:17:57,559 --> 03:18:02,040
My hand dug into the soil, clinching it like a lifeline.

2514
03:18:02,239 --> 03:18:06,600
I heard you cry out, and I left anyway. I

2515
03:18:06,680 --> 03:18:10,639
walked away because I convinced myself you'd be fine, Because

2516
03:18:10,639 --> 03:18:14,479
it was easier than facing what I'd done, and then

2517
03:18:14,520 --> 03:18:19,120
I lied for years, to Mum, to the police, to everyone,

2518
03:18:20,680 --> 03:18:26,959
to myself. Most of all, the forest responded. The branches

2519
03:18:27,120 --> 03:18:32,159
overhead untwisted, the way someone relaxes their shoulders after carrying

2520
03:18:32,239 --> 03:18:38,200
weight for two long. Roots shifted beneath my knees, grounding themselves.

2521
03:18:38,360 --> 03:18:42,799
Now that the truth had been spoken, the air itself loosened.

2522
03:18:44,719 --> 03:18:49,600
It had been waiting for this. Movements stirred in the hollow.

2523
03:18:50,200 --> 03:18:54,479
Leaves parted as a small figure rose slowly from the depression,

2524
03:18:55,680 --> 03:19:02,239
child sized, fragile. My breath hit. The clothes were familiar,

2525
03:19:03,200 --> 03:19:06,680
or trying to be. The hair, the tilt of the chin,

2526
03:19:08,440 --> 03:19:15,360
and the face God, the face almost broke me, familiar

2527
03:19:15,479 --> 03:19:19,479
enough to ache, close enough to believe, far enough from

2528
03:19:19,559 --> 03:19:25,319
perfect that the distortions hid like tiny knives. The arms

2529
03:19:25,360 --> 03:19:29,520
hung a bit too long. The joints moved with liquid smoothness,

2530
03:19:29,559 --> 03:19:33,200
bending in ways that made my skin crawl. The eyes

2531
03:19:33,280 --> 03:19:36,120
called the glow of the forest, not on the surface,

2532
03:19:36,920 --> 03:19:40,760
but from some depth behind them, like lanterns shifting through

2533
03:19:40,840 --> 03:19:46,840
frosted glass. But even with all that, he looked like Caleb,

2534
03:19:48,000 --> 03:19:55,559
and that was enough to undo me. Caleb, I whispered.

2535
03:19:57,200 --> 03:20:00,920
The name trembled out, Coated in years of dust and guilt.

2536
03:20:02,200 --> 03:20:08,719
It felt raw, vulnerable, naked. The vigor tilted its head

2537
03:20:09,280 --> 03:20:13,799
that exact tilt, that curious soft motion. I hadn't realized

2538
03:20:13,840 --> 03:20:20,440
I remembered until I saw it recreated perfectly. I waited

2539
03:20:20,520 --> 03:20:25,920
for you, it said. The voice was gentle, no accusation

2540
03:20:26,079 --> 03:20:29,840
or bitterness, just the truth, spoken with all the sincerity

2541
03:20:29,879 --> 03:20:34,840
of a child who spent too long alone. Tears blurred

2542
03:20:34,840 --> 03:20:41,040
my vision, my chest cracked open. For one fragile moment,

2543
03:20:42,120 --> 03:20:46,360
I believed I had finally done something right, that by

2544
03:20:46,399 --> 03:20:51,000
telling the truth, coming back, not running, I had earned this,

2545
03:20:52,079 --> 03:20:58,399
maybe even forgiveness, the chance to say goodbye properly. I

2546
03:20:58,440 --> 03:21:05,719
lifted a shaking hand, an offering a plea. Caleb reached out.

2547
03:21:07,200 --> 03:21:11,680
Its skin was warm, human warm. Its fingers curled around

2548
03:21:11,719 --> 03:21:18,840
mine with careful pressure, and then it smiled. Caleb smiled

2549
03:21:19,120 --> 03:21:24,200
exact a memory made flesh. I lead out of breath.

2550
03:21:24,239 --> 03:21:27,559
I didn't know i'd been holding. Relief washed through me.

2551
03:21:29,200 --> 03:21:37,200
Maybe I really was forgiven. Maybe the forest dropped into silence.

2552
03:21:38,600 --> 03:21:42,479
It didn't feel peaceful. It felt like a predatory silence,

2553
03:21:43,120 --> 03:21:47,319
one that falls when something stops talking because it's finally

2554
03:21:47,639 --> 03:21:53,000
ready to strike. Caleb didn't let go of my hand,

2555
03:21:53,479 --> 03:21:59,360
and its smile didn't fade. It only widened just a

2556
03:21:59,479 --> 03:22:07,760
fraction too far. The forest around us reacted. The branches stiffened,

2557
03:22:08,000 --> 03:22:11,479
the light sank lower, as if pulled into the creature's chest.

2558
03:22:13,680 --> 03:22:18,239
You remember me, now, it murmured again, But the voice

2559
03:22:18,319 --> 03:22:23,680
was slipping, not entirely calebs anymore. There were tones beneath it,

2560
03:22:24,440 --> 03:22:31,959
older layered. He cried for you, it whispered, leaning close

2561
03:22:32,079 --> 03:22:35,799
enough that I felt its breath against my cheek. A

2562
03:22:35,920 --> 03:22:39,239
tremor ran through its arm, like a memory excited it.

2563
03:22:40,799 --> 03:22:50,719
I tasted everything he felt. His pain was delicious. My

2564
03:22:50,799 --> 03:22:55,680
stomach twisted. Then, with something almost like affection, it murmured,

2565
03:22:57,239 --> 03:23:07,600
But you, yours, has aged into something exquisite. I stumbled back, instinctively,

2566
03:23:08,000 --> 03:23:12,399
yanking my hand free. The creature stepped forward, and with

2567
03:23:12,440 --> 03:23:17,360
each movement the mimicry fell apart a little more. Its

2568
03:23:17,479 --> 03:23:22,600
arms lengthened by inches, stretching smoothly like softened wax. Its

2569
03:23:22,680 --> 03:23:26,479
joints hinged backward for a split second before snapping forward again.

2570
03:23:27,440 --> 03:23:32,600
Its eyes brightened from within the pupil and A seam

2571
03:23:32,840 --> 03:23:36,479
appeared along the center of its face, but it wasn't

2572
03:23:36,479 --> 03:23:41,000
the line of an opening mouth, a split, vertical and

2573
03:23:41,079 --> 03:23:47,319
clean opening, with a soft, wet sound. From within that scene,

2574
03:23:47,520 --> 03:23:54,120
the true appendage emerged, long, thin, almost elegant in its wrongness.

2575
03:23:55,280 --> 03:24:00,399
A proposis like a mosquito's hollow, tipped, widening, an arrowing

2576
03:24:00,399 --> 03:24:04,760
in tiny pulses. It curled in the air, tasting it,

2577
03:24:05,280 --> 03:24:10,639
searching for something beneath my skin. Clicks came from inside it,

2578
03:24:10,959 --> 03:24:15,719
like an insect reading itself to pierce. I didn't think.

2579
03:24:16,600 --> 03:24:21,040
I ran, crashing through the underbrush with the forest shifted

2580
03:24:21,120 --> 03:24:25,520
with me, branches bending, roots rising, guiding the creature in

2581
03:24:25,559 --> 03:24:29,399
a straight line toward me. It dropped onto my back

2582
03:24:29,440 --> 03:24:33,120
a moment later. The impact knocked the air out of me.

2583
03:24:33,840 --> 03:24:37,040
Fingers clamped around my wrists, pinning my arms behind me.

2584
03:24:38,120 --> 03:24:41,520
Its knees dug into my ribs, forcing me into the

2585
03:24:41,520 --> 03:24:48,959
cold dirt. Its breath trembled, marred with triumph. Let me

2586
03:24:49,120 --> 03:24:54,000
drink everything he left inside you, and whispered against my neck.

2587
03:24:55,079 --> 03:25:01,120
The proposes stabbed into my forearm. A white top exploded

2588
03:25:01,159 --> 03:25:04,760
through my arm. But the real horror wasn't the puncture.

2589
03:25:05,799 --> 03:25:11,280
It was the sensation that followed. Something was being pulled

2590
03:25:11,280 --> 03:25:18,360
from me, ripped from within, siphoned and drained, And it

2591
03:25:18,520 --> 03:25:24,000
wasn't just blood but memories. The first tugged or at

2592
03:25:24,040 --> 03:25:28,600
the nightcreb fell, his cry echoing inside my skull. The

2593
03:25:28,680 --> 03:25:32,639
second ripped a decades of guilt, thinning it into threads.

2594
03:25:33,559 --> 03:25:36,280
The necks pulled out who I thought I was, my

2595
03:25:36,479 --> 03:25:42,719
sense of myself unraveling like fabric, fraying under strain. Grief

2596
03:25:42,799 --> 03:25:46,239
drained out of me in hot waves. My identity blurded

2597
03:25:46,280 --> 03:25:51,680
the edges, my mind hollowed. I felt my limbs weakening,

2598
03:25:52,079 --> 03:25:58,040
turning slack. My fingers twitched uselessly in the dirt. The

2599
03:25:58,120 --> 03:26:04,840
creature shuddered above me, pleasure rolling through it invisible waves,

2600
03:26:04,959 --> 03:26:09,239
so much more than the boy. It breathed, so much

2601
03:26:09,399 --> 03:26:17,440
richer matured. My vision blurred, black, edges closed inward. I

2602
03:26:17,440 --> 03:26:23,040
could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness, into non existence. I

2603
03:26:23,079 --> 03:26:32,440
couldn't tell then movement through the haze. I saw something

2604
03:26:32,479 --> 03:26:38,920
behind the creature, small hands, small arms, wrapping around its torso,

2605
03:26:39,879 --> 03:26:45,559
then pulling. The creature shrieked a sound too sharp and

2606
03:26:45,680 --> 03:26:49,479
layered to be human. It clawed to the ground, refusing

2607
03:26:49,520 --> 03:26:53,520
to break its hold on my arm. The probuses stretched painfully,

2608
03:26:53,840 --> 03:26:58,079
still embedded in my flesh. The arms around it tightened,

2609
03:26:59,399 --> 03:27:04,399
Then yeah, and the proposes tore free. A spray of red,

2610
03:27:04,440 --> 03:27:09,520
following a surge of agony, lit up my arm. I screamed,

2611
03:27:09,760 --> 03:27:15,040
collapsing onto my side. Through the blur, I saw a small,

2612
03:27:15,280 --> 03:27:20,639
child sized silhouette holding the creature back. The creature thrust wildly,

2613
03:27:21,079 --> 03:27:26,959
limbs flailing, trying to crawl toward me, but those small arms,

2614
03:27:27,399 --> 03:27:34,479
those familiar, heartbreakingly small arms, held it fast. I saw

2615
03:27:34,719 --> 03:27:38,879
only the top of the child's head. Hair I recognized instantly,

2616
03:27:39,680 --> 03:27:43,879
hair eye had washed and brushed on school picture mornings.

2617
03:27:44,559 --> 03:27:49,879
I never saw the face. I didn't need to go.

2618
03:27:50,959 --> 03:27:55,479
The small voice strained out. I staggered under my feet,

2619
03:27:55,879 --> 03:28:02,000
half blind, half conscious, blood soaking my sleeves, mind in tatters,

2620
03:28:02,680 --> 03:28:07,680
and I ran. Branches whipped my face, my legs threatened

2621
03:28:07,680 --> 03:28:12,920
to buckle. Every few steps behind me, the two voices rose,

2622
03:28:13,719 --> 03:28:20,280
one monstrous, furious, shrieking my name, and beneath it, small

2623
03:28:20,319 --> 03:28:29,239
and strained go. I did, and I didn't look back.

2624
03:28:33,799 --> 03:28:37,760
I didn't remember getting home. One moment I was staggering

2625
03:28:37,760 --> 03:28:41,280
through the tree line, lungs burning arm, pouring blood down

2626
03:28:41,319 --> 03:28:45,079
my elbow. The next I was collapsing through my back

2627
03:28:45,159 --> 03:28:48,760
door and hitting the kitchen floor hard enough to rattler chair.

2628
03:28:50,360 --> 03:28:53,879
For a long time, I just lay there, half curled,

2629
03:28:54,239 --> 03:28:59,239
trembling uncontrollably. My arm throbbed with a creature. It pierced

2630
03:28:59,280 --> 03:29:03,079
it with. The physical pain was nothing compared to the

2631
03:29:03,120 --> 03:29:07,879
emptiness spreading through my chest, A hollowness so deep if

2632
03:29:07,920 --> 03:29:12,360
I like wind can blow straight through me, not metaphorically.

2633
03:29:13,360 --> 03:29:19,959
Something was gone, memories, feelings, pieces of myself. I could

2634
03:29:20,000 --> 03:29:24,440
feel the absence, like missing teeth in my mind. I

2635
03:29:24,520 --> 03:29:29,760
pushed myself upright against the cabinet, gasping. My thoughts stuttered,

2636
03:29:30,079 --> 03:29:33,799
skipping like stones and water. I tried to remember the

2637
03:29:33,879 --> 03:29:37,559
exact order of things, what the creature said, how it looked,

2638
03:29:38,120 --> 03:29:42,239
the way it fared. But every attempt ended in a

2639
03:29:42,280 --> 03:29:46,360
smear of fog, like someone had reached inside and plucked

2640
03:29:46,479 --> 03:29:52,479
the sharpest thoughts away. But the truth of it that stayed,

2641
03:29:53,559 --> 03:29:56,799
the truth I'd spent two decades bearing, had sunk its

2642
03:29:56,840 --> 03:30:02,040
claws into me, too deeply to be taken. Something fed

2643
03:30:02,079 --> 03:30:06,000
on Caleb fed on his fear. The night I left him,

2644
03:30:06,319 --> 03:30:09,000
on his grief, as he waited alone in the dark,

2645
03:30:09,719 --> 03:30:16,639
fed on his abandonment. I created that understanding, crushed harder

2646
03:30:16,959 --> 03:30:21,440
than any promises ever did. I pulled my knees up

2647
03:30:21,479 --> 03:30:27,120
to my chest, shaking, my breath hitched on every inhale.

2648
03:30:27,280 --> 03:30:32,719
I'm sorry, I whispered. It came out jagged, barely audible.

2649
03:30:33,680 --> 03:30:38,200
But once the words started, more followed, quiet and broken,

2650
03:30:38,799 --> 03:30:43,760
unraveling from somewhere deep and rusted inside me. I'm so

2651
03:30:43,920 --> 03:30:47,399
sorry I left you. I left you there. I didn't

2652
03:30:47,440 --> 03:30:49,920
look back. I should have come back. I should have

2653
03:30:51,239 --> 03:30:54,639
my voice cracked. I pressed my forehead to my knees.

2654
03:30:55,799 --> 03:30:58,840
The apology wasn't to the creature or to the forest,

2655
03:31:00,200 --> 03:31:03,399
to the boy. I failed, the boy who cried out

2656
03:31:03,639 --> 03:31:07,680
after falling and waited for a big brother who never returned.

2657
03:31:10,879 --> 03:31:15,399
For a long while, that was all there was pain

2658
03:31:15,799 --> 03:31:20,399
and silence. But then a thought rose through the fogged

2659
03:31:20,399 --> 03:31:26,719
out places in my mind. Uninvited those arms, those small

2660
03:31:26,920 --> 03:31:30,760
arms wrapped around the creature's torso, holding it back with

2661
03:31:30,920 --> 03:31:35,399
everything they had, the familiar hair falling across a forehead

2662
03:31:35,520 --> 03:31:41,120
shaped by childhood, the way the silhouette pulled, strained, refused

2663
03:31:41,120 --> 03:31:45,239
to let it reach me again. If that was Caleb,

2664
03:31:45,680 --> 03:31:48,959
or even just some fragment of him, some last echo,

2665
03:31:49,079 --> 03:31:54,239
the creature hadn't devoured. Then he did something I never did.

2666
03:31:55,440 --> 03:32:02,000
He came back, fought for me, He saved me. The

2667
03:32:02,079 --> 03:32:07,000
realization hit like a fresh wound opening, equal parts unbearable

2668
03:32:07,120 --> 03:32:13,559
and blinding. My guilt didn't evaporate, It sharpened, grew clearer.

2669
03:32:14,479 --> 03:32:18,079
But beneath it, something else bloomed in a way I

2670
03:32:18,200 --> 03:32:27,159
wasn't ready for a possibility, a terrible, fragile possibility. Did

2671
03:32:27,280 --> 03:32:36,040
Caleb forgive me? Even after everything? I didn't know. I

2672
03:32:36,120 --> 03:32:38,559
didn't know of the arms that held the creature with him,

2673
03:32:39,120 --> 03:32:41,600
nor did I know if forgiveness was something a boy

2674
03:32:42,000 --> 03:32:46,520
swallowed by a foresting could still offer. But I knew this.

2675
03:32:47,840 --> 03:32:54,200
I wasn't alone in that clearing, not entirely. I sat

2676
03:32:54,280 --> 03:32:58,000
on the kitchen floor until my breathing steady, listened to

2677
03:32:58,040 --> 03:33:00,639
the hum of the fridge and the blood ripping from

2678
03:33:00,639 --> 03:33:04,159
my arm onto the tiles. The silence and the house

2679
03:33:04,159 --> 03:33:07,959
felt different, now, less like a trap, more like a

2680
03:33:08,079 --> 03:33:13,719
question waiting to be answered. Dusk shifted through the windows,

2681
03:33:13,959 --> 03:33:19,479
and I closed my eyes. That was when I heard it,

2682
03:33:19,680 --> 03:33:24,079
faint and distant, coming from the forest far beyond my backyard,

2683
03:33:25,639 --> 03:33:32,799
a gentle tapping, soft and hesitant, yet familiar, the same

2684
03:33:32,920 --> 03:33:36,319
rhythm cale abused when he was scared and wanted his

2685
03:33:36,360 --> 03:33:42,440
big brother to come back. My breath caught. The tapping

2686
03:33:42,600 --> 03:33:50,559
continued just once, twice, three times before fading into the night,

2687
03:33:53,600 --> 03:34:15,799
and I didn't know if it meant forgiveness, Oh goodbye.