Speaker 1: Welcome to Dad's on day clok.
Speaker 2: Parental discussion is advised mature content beyond this point.
Speaker 3: So you guys, A guy sits down at a bar,
Speaker 3: is everything okay? The bartender ass my wife and I
Speaker 3: got into a fight. She isn't going to talk to
Speaker 3: me for a month. Bartender says, well, maybe that's a
Speaker 3: good thing, a little peace and quiet, right, Yeah, today's
Speaker 3: the last day though, m h, what better way? What
Speaker 3: better way to do a long dad joke for something
Speaker 3: that hasn't happened since August of twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1: Welcome fucking back.
Speaker 3: I thought you were just gonna lead with welcome, like
Speaker 3: you're welcome.
Speaker 4: We back, bitches.
Speaker 3: I had to check Spotify for this one. His Dad's
Speaker 3: on Dequil, Episode one eight.
Speaker 4: I'm none, I'm dope, I'm stone baby.
Speaker 3: All fucking three of us. This is so stupid. I
Speaker 3: don't know why we're doing this.
Speaker 1: This is not so it is retarded, does.
Speaker 3: In not true dad fashion. We actually came back from this.
Speaker 3: We thought about it, oh, for a long time. For
Speaker 3: a long time.
Speaker 4: Oh, I got one of us, got the milk. I
Speaker 4: forgot that shit.
Speaker 3: So uh anyway, Dads on Daquel is back. I guess
Speaker 3: we just kick right off with what the fuck we've
Speaker 3: been doing. How about let's start with the guy who
Speaker 3: hasn't been podcasting, literally not. He's podcasts twice since the
Speaker 3: last episode of Dad's on dayquel. He podcasts one time
Speaker 3: with the Bleach Bros. Which no longer exists. That was
Speaker 3: our football trip that Stone couldn't make it too, And
Speaker 3: then he podcasts one time with the Raunchy Regret Podcast.
Speaker 3: We'll get into that in a minute, but most of
Speaker 3: you listening probably at least listen to one or more
Speaker 3: episodes of that. But domb, what the fuck you've been
Speaker 3: up to working a lot?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's pretty much it. I forgot. Uh. I've got
Speaker 1: a couple stories that we'll get into in later episodes.
Speaker 1: Many it's down down the road. But yeah, you guys.
Speaker 1: You guys kind of went on your path and your
Speaker 1: journey and I went online. Mine took me away from
Speaker 1: home for quite some time, which was shitty in its
Speaker 1: own right. So it's good to be back now. I'm
Speaker 1: back at home for the duration. I've got more of
Speaker 1: an office work life balance from my home office instead
Speaker 1: of a field office, which is really cool. Wouldn't trade
Speaker 1: the experiences I had out in the field for too much,
Speaker 1: other than maybe more time with my family, which is
Speaker 1: why I'm back. So and but with that, with being home,
Speaker 1: came the opportunity to set up, Yes, set up my
Speaker 1: studio again. So here's hoping nice.
Speaker 3: Well, it's I mean, we've heard your voice. I hear
Speaker 3: your voice all the time. We've probably talked more in
Speaker 3: the last month than we talked in the last like
Speaker 3: six months. Yeah, I the last month, Like every day
Speaker 3: when I get off work, I'm calling you for like
Speaker 3: the last week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's good to be available, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like when I'm on the road, it's it's
Speaker 1: difficult that I've got a lot of shit to do.
Speaker 1: There's paperwork out the wazoo. So working weird hours, yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: I'm working five to five and then I come home,
Speaker 1: I get some food, and then I'm working another four
Speaker 1: or five hours again. God, so I barely have enough
Speaker 1: time to touch myself. John make a.
Speaker 3: Voote call, so four minutes and he was already talking
Speaker 3: about his penis fucking a so stoned. Last time we
Speaker 3: recorded the Dads on day quill Uh, the stone wasn't
Speaker 3: with us because he was in college, and in true
Speaker 3: Van Wilder fashion, he's still in college. Mind you, I'm
Speaker 3: just making it sound like it's a long time, but
Speaker 3: it hasn't been that long. But but we all know
Speaker 3: Stone's been around podcasting. We we snuck him back in
Speaker 3: after a little while. But for those maybe that haven't
Speaker 3: listened to anything but the Dad's on day, well, we
Speaker 3: thank you, We appreciate you for coming back.
Speaker 4: Stone.
Speaker 3: What have you been up to?
Speaker 4: A lot of school, a lot of work, a lot
Speaker 4: of avery, and now that I got a girlfriend, m m,
Speaker 4: a lot of that too. But yeah, life's been pretty good.
Speaker 4: I'm graduating college in August with my degree in finance
Speaker 4: and just raising avery. She's in kindergarten now, and it's wild,
Speaker 4: insanely wild. When we started this, she was a year
Speaker 4: and a half old. Yep, man, she was a year
Speaker 4: and a half old and was a little spunkball energy
Speaker 4: and now she's still has spunk all energy, just now
Speaker 4: fully forming sentences and telling me how she dislikes her classmates.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, damn, kid, bring out that sasas, let's
Speaker 4: hear that.
Speaker 1: Tea spill it baby.
Speaker 4: But yeah, other than that, it's been a quite a
Speaker 4: journey without Dads, And holy fuck, am I so glad
Speaker 4: that I'm here with you two gentlemen right now.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: It's uh, it's funny because we never we never had
Speaker 3: a goodbye episode because we never quit, right, We just
Speaker 3: like Stone stepped away. But that was that was announced.
Speaker 3: It was on an episode. I can't tell you what
Speaker 3: number it is. Ask Cryst Labar. You know, he'll probably remember.
Speaker 3: We love you, King.
Speaker 4: It's glad to your bed, you King.
Speaker 3: But then Dome and I just stopped recording, like shit
Speaker 3: wasn't working out. And then he was kind of already
Speaker 3: getting in the weird work funk, and then I was
Speaker 3: in a weird work funk, and it just went away,
Speaker 3: you know, And and then it was we just stopped.
Speaker 3: And then next thing, I know, I was like whatever,
Speaker 3: And and then you know, we started another podcast just
Speaker 3: because it was like Dads wasn't doing anything, and and
Speaker 3: Stone came back. And then and then the funny part
Speaker 3: was how this all got resparked was in true fashion
Speaker 3: of us, Dome sends me a video on Instagram and says, hey,
Speaker 3: try this for your stupid faggot podcast, which my exact
Speaker 3: response to him was listen, just because you went am
Speaker 3: Frank on us doesn't mean that you get to talk
Speaker 3: shit about me, okay. And then he was like, hey,
Speaker 3: I wanted to restart this thing. And then we got
Speaker 3: into the discussion and then he's like, no, for real, though,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be done working and I'll be at home
Speaker 3: for a solid four months or so, and the hope
Speaker 3: is for you know, future, So let's let's redo this.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, are you fucking you're sure? Like redo this?
Speaker 3: And then so I, you know, reached out to Stone,
Speaker 3: even though we're doing a podcast together. I reached out like, hey,
Speaker 3: do you want to rejoin dads? Do we want to
Speaker 3: restart this? And it was just a simple fuck, yeah,
Speaker 3: let's go and it's so yeah. And then I changed
Speaker 3: the logo on our Facebook page just to see if
Speaker 3: anything would happen, and it was within within the hour,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, within the hour, we were all receiving texts
Speaker 3: and dms and shit about people saying you guys coming
Speaker 3: back yep. And it made the validation even if there's
Speaker 3: ten right, it made the validation that people haven't heard
Speaker 3: this in a year and a half and they're like,
Speaker 3: let's fucking go.
Speaker 1: There were people that I hadn't talked to in seven
Speaker 1: eight months, you know, not even like comments on Facebook
Speaker 1: posts to nothing communication like I didn't even know they
Speaker 1: still existed, right, that were coming around like, hey, is
Speaker 1: this real? Is this going on?
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, we.
Speaker 1: Are happy to say that we are here and this
Speaker 1: time we are here to stay. So dads aren't going
Speaker 1: anywhere for a while.
Speaker 5: Well now, well me, the last time we recorded, my
Speaker 5: wife was pregnant still so since the last time we recorded,
Speaker 5: we've had a baby.
Speaker 3: The babies had a first birthday, like it feels like forever.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I did, uh if those of you that
Speaker 3: listen to the Raunchy Regret podcast don't. And I did
Speaker 3: that with b Word from formerly the Breach Bleach Bros.
Speaker 3: And now b Word has hung up his headphones, so
Speaker 3: he's now just a fan of the show of shows.
Speaker 3: I should say and shout out to Beasy and then Bezy,
Speaker 3: that fucking crazy, stupid son of a bitch Texan that
Speaker 3: we love, needs.
Speaker 1: To hang up his love for the fucking cowboys.
Speaker 3: That's b word. Now Bez's worse B word. At least
Speaker 3: you can respect B words. Bez's a mahomes fan Mahome.
Speaker 1: That's disgusting, right right. I'm glad I never got to
Speaker 1: know him.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so that show. That show also coincided with
Speaker 3: the re kindling of this show starting again, was because
Speaker 3: Beward decided to he was done podcasting, so we all
Speaker 3: just decided. Like me, I was like, well, I'm good,
Speaker 3: Like we can just scrap this show because it's not
Speaker 3: what it is. If it's not gonna be everybody who
Speaker 3: started it, then let's just stop it, right, And so
Speaker 3: that's what we did, and we actually had a going
Speaker 3: out show and and now here we are so we're
Speaker 3: trying the damn thing and having some fun again and excited.
Speaker 3: We got a new logo that looks fucking sick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what the fuck are you wearing?
Speaker 4: Aj What am I wearing?
Speaker 3: It looks like a like a like a park it's
Speaker 3: an I didn't even bat an eye until you said that,
Speaker 3: And then I was like, does he just have a
Speaker 3: blanket wrapped around him?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It looked it looked like he had like he was
Speaker 1: wearing a hoodie, but he didn't put it all, like
Speaker 1: all the way over his body. He just stuck his
Speaker 1: arms in it. And then the rest of it was
Speaker 1: just like laying on his chest. He probably actually throw
Speaker 1: it over his head.
Speaker 3: He probably found that ship in a box at the house,
Speaker 3: like that ship, probably from two thousand and two.
Speaker 4: Ship.
Speaker 3: I used to have a Ninja Turtle snuggie. That's back
Speaker 3: in the day. Yeah, towards the end of high school.
Speaker 1: Do you remember those wrestling the w W E wrestling
Speaker 1: like pillows.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I had that. I had a hul Cogan,
Speaker 3: a macho man same, and I think I might have
Speaker 3: had an Ultimate Warrior. I had Jake the Snake. I
Speaker 3: didn't have Jakes had Jake.
Speaker 1: Yeah. They were ver fucking badass.
Speaker 4: I used to.
Speaker 1: I used to jump off of my dresser and fucking
Speaker 1: elbow drop them on my bed until I broke my bed.
Speaker 1: I got in trouble.
Speaker 3: I did the same. My futon was in the shape
Speaker 3: of a V. I'm doing wrestling move on it. I
Speaker 3: had a belt. I'd be watching fucking raw and like
Speaker 3: recreating moves like I grab a pillow and stun it
Speaker 3: and ship. Yeah. My just had a fucking Yeah. It's terrible.
Speaker 3: It was terrible. But anyway, so so a little bit
Speaker 3: of Dad's I guess that we can say is we're
Speaker 3: gonna try some new things. We're gonna bring back lots
Speaker 3: of the normal what made everything so fun, like all
Speaker 3: the ship that's real dads. You know, we had Dad Feud,
Speaker 3: we had Dad Jeopardy, Dad's Advocate. I'm sure we'll make
Speaker 3: a comeback. We are going to adopt some different things
Speaker 3: that we did with other shows, you know, maybe down
Speaker 3: the road, maybe whatever. But all the Dad classics will
Speaker 3: be here. But I think we may try who knows,
Speaker 3: We'll see how this goes. We may try and split
Speaker 3: it up so you get two episodes per week. I
Speaker 3: guess you'll find out on this episode if it's one
Speaker 3: episode or two. We haven't decided yet, but we'll find out.
Speaker 3: See how the flow goes. But yeah, Channelty News, I'm
Speaker 3: sure he'll be making a comeback real soon. So the
Speaker 3: classics will be here with a bunch of new shit.
Speaker 1: Let's get it into the first segment.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you want to let a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, let's do it all.
Speaker 3: Right, So we're gonna we already did our Dad stories.
Speaker 3: It took less time than I thought it would take.
Speaker 3: But sure, I don't know, but yeah, so let's do
Speaker 3: some Da fails of the week. So don't let's go
Speaker 3: with you.
Speaker 4: We got dad fails, Is that right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Dad fails of the week. So this segment is a
Speaker 3: new one for the show. Yep, and just kind of
Speaker 3: self explanatory. It could be self a self story, it
Speaker 3: could be something you've read online, something Dad related. So
Speaker 3: let's go with that.
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, I got this Reddit post I found. I
Speaker 4: thought it was pretty damn funny. This guy posted and said,
Speaker 4: I just thought i'd share my funny fail, and I'm
Speaker 4: looking forward to other people's funny stories. My oldest, three
Speaker 4: years old, is in the phase where he says hello
Speaker 4: to everyone and everything he sees until someone acknowledges it
Speaker 4: back to him. We read the splash pad and this
Speaker 4: little girl was using a purple fish turret to spray
Speaker 4: other kids, and her mother was nearby. My oldest was
Speaker 4: trying to say hello to the fish until someone acknowledged
Speaker 4: it and the girl. However, he pronounces the f and
Speaker 4: fish as a bee for some reason, so he's saying fish.
Speaker 4: I put down my youngest and I run over to
Speaker 4: the girl's mother saying, oh, he's saying fish, fish, it's fish.
Speaker 4: He doesn't really know how to say that word too well,
Speaker 4: leaving my youngest fifteen months old, to get dumped on
Speaker 4: by a big bucket of water with no support. He's
Speaker 4: a good sport, but he fell down and was definitely
Speaker 4: not happy. I like it nice, I like it. I
Speaker 4: just imagine that little baby just getting dunked on. Oh dude, kid.
Speaker 1: That is something I've always wanted to see in person,
Speaker 1: because I've been to quite a few water parks and
Speaker 1: you always get that one bucket, you know, or even
Speaker 1: at splash pads. Some of your local splash pads have him. Now,
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to see somebody just get absolutely demolished
Speaker 1: by that water, and unfortunately I've never seen it in person.
Speaker 1: Seen tons of videos online, but never in person. What
Speaker 1: the algorithm does, what the algorithm wants, man, go ahead. So, uh,
Speaker 1: my dad fail story is a personal dad fail story
Speaker 1: that happened a couple months ago. And I get this
Speaker 1: text message from my ex and it says, hey, we
Speaker 1: need to talk. That's it famous words, right, Hey we
Speaker 1: need to talk. I'm like, great, what fuck's this about?
Speaker 1: So we need to talk about your eldest daughter. She
Speaker 1: has a problem and she doesn't know how to tell you.
Speaker 1: She doesn't know I'm coming to you, so please keep
Speaker 1: this between you and I. She is embarrassed, like, great,
Speaker 1: all right, something happened at school. There's maybe a boy
Speaker 1: or a girl in the picture. This is where we're going, right,
Speaker 1: have you met me?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: So your daughter has a problem with staying at your house, like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, what's going on? Well, when she's there, she
Speaker 1: feels like she's just gonna constantly hear you and Brandy
Speaker 1: having sex. I was like, well, there's two things wrong
Speaker 1: with that. One got the word constantly.
Speaker 3: She's constantly on her fucking period, is what you.
Speaker 1: Meant to say, So that's first and foremost. Secondly, what
Speaker 1: the fuck are you talking about? And she's like, well,
Speaker 1: she she confided in me that she has heard you
Speaker 1: and Brandy having sex before. Did she did? She say?
Speaker 3: Hey, what's it sound like? Oh yeah, I hear dad
Speaker 3: saying that constantly, and Brandy's just like, he shut the
Speaker 3: fuck up.
Speaker 4: Listen.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna do that, well you take get to
Speaker 1: the fucking bathroom. I don't want to watch it. And
Speaker 1: so we get into the conversation of what actually happened,
Speaker 1: and evidently there was this moment where she had heard us.
Speaker 1: She heard something, and so now every time she sleeps
Speaker 1: in her bed she has a afraid that she is
Speaker 1: going to be woken up by the sounds.
Speaker 3: Again.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh my god, m n shovel on movie.
Speaker 4: The kid's getting woken up by the streams sounds in
Speaker 4: the night.
Speaker 1: So I had to have this like, of course, dude,
Speaker 1: it's me Like, I'm not gonna not fucking say something.
Speaker 3: Get the hell out of here.
Speaker 1: So I approached Callie and I'm like, hey, so can
Speaker 1: we have a conversation. Can we talk? So, like a dumbass,
Speaker 1: I take her out to dinner to talk to.
Speaker 4: Her about it.
Speaker 1: So we're in public. We're in public, We're at Chili's,
Speaker 1: nothing special. She's fucking crying at the table. She's pissed
Speaker 1: off at her mom, at me, and uh so she
Speaker 1: finally tells me the truth. She's like, yeah, She's like
Speaker 1: I heard you one night. She was loud, the bed
Speaker 1: was the bed was banging against the wall, and I
Speaker 1: just I can't get over it. I was like, okay, we.
Speaker 3: Were home that night. It was grandma O.
Speaker 4: No, Grandma, dude.
Speaker 1: That thing is dustier, the jar that is dustier than
Speaker 1: an Egyptian fucking museum, so you can fucking unwrap a
Speaker 1: pharaoh's tomb. So this conversation that it was such a
Speaker 1: fucking awkward conversation with my daughter.
Speaker 4: We're back, baby, Okay, this cup is powdered.
Speaker 3: Jesus God, because the intrue fashion of us being sucked up.
Speaker 3: The only taking picture, I'm sorry, Josh, is your mom's
Speaker 3: spread legs. Just squirt squawk.
Speaker 1: She on target one of those snow machines look like
Speaker 1: Lebron James.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You come over to my house at Christmas for the decorations.
Speaker 1: It's just my mom's fread eagle in the front yard.
Speaker 3: Do you think the minor gets blown out during its
Speaker 3: take crazy nights?
Speaker 1: Her side jumps working at the fucking bakery.
Speaker 2: Oh god, my white who wearing a Bash's uniform?
Speaker 4: I think a job I might throw up? Oh no,
Speaker 4: a ball blue way. No, it's just grandma, Grandma.
Speaker 3: Listening to poison in the back seat.
Speaker 4: Cou'd be your other side jump?
Speaker 1: Is the fucking window decal the Christmas wind show?
Speaker 3: Paint it.
Speaker 4: Go in the house.
Speaker 1: She's gonna she got a door to door business where
Speaker 1: she frosts your tree.
Speaker 3: This is what happens when this is what happens when
Speaker 3: stone infuses the world.
Speaker 4: Yes, joy to the world, baby, Well that's great.
Speaker 1: I want to give us your story, yes man, oh god, Okay, okay, let's.
Speaker 3: Wrangle it in all right. So I have two stories.
Speaker 3: Min'll bring it back down a little bit.
Speaker 4: Uh So.
Speaker 3: The first one is actually personal data. Actually happened tonight.
Speaker 3: So you get home foods. Food's not done yet, not
Speaker 3: that that's a problem, but so I offered help and
Speaker 3: it required bacon, which wasn't thawed. So I just said
Speaker 3: fuck it. I asked my daughter, my oldest daughter. I
Speaker 3: asked her, do you want tacos or burgers for dinner?
Speaker 3: So she said, are you making the burgers? And I
Speaker 3: said no. I thought she's gonna mac on me because
Speaker 3: she's an asshole like that. And she said, then tacos.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, we do taco She goes, no, no, cheeseburgers.
Speaker 3: So I anyway, I go get in and out and
Speaker 3: she's gonna go with me. I said, okay, well let's
Speaker 3: go potti before you go. She goes, no, I don't
Speaker 3: have to go. And in opposite dad fash, I said
Speaker 3: all right, cool, let's go.
Speaker 4: Let's roll.
Speaker 3: Fast forward to we're one car behind the first window,
Speaker 3: in and out waiting to pay, with about seven cars
Speaker 3: behind us, and she's yelling at me that she has
Speaker 3: to peek and then like like the guy in Super Troopers,
Speaker 3: I'm like, we're all we're already pulled over, can pull over?
Speaker 3: An I'm yelling at her like we have nowhere to
Speaker 3: go at this point, I'm just like, just pe your pants.
Speaker 4: Like.
Speaker 1: At the window, Hey, can I have a large cup
Speaker 1: real quick?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no soda, no soda, just a cup, no lid,
Speaker 1: just a cup. Uh.
Speaker 3: So, anyway, she actually made it though. We made it
Speaker 3: through the drive through, and I said, are you able
Speaker 3: to make it home or do you want me to?
Speaker 3: You know, pull into a spot and we can go inside.
Speaker 3: So we went inside. She's wearing a Princess Tiana dress
Speaker 3: with uh with fuzzy slippers.
Speaker 4: Perfect.
Speaker 3: We weren't going to go inside.
Speaker 1: Oh you unicorn dress? Here? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 3: Sorry. So what happens when you sit down and talk
Speaker 3: at your house?
Speaker 1: You just forget ship.
Speaker 3: That's also my amo, it's my way to come back.
Speaker 3: I forget shit all the time. If you really know me. Secondly,
Speaker 3: this one happened this morning to me as well. Uh,
Speaker 3: and it's just an ironic story. So last week I
Speaker 3: had a rep bring in food, and so I told
Speaker 3: somebody that on Friday, if there was still stuff there,
Speaker 3: you could take it home if you want. Well, they
Speaker 3: didn't take it home, so I'm clearing it out to him.
Speaker 3: I take it out to the dumpster. Sois Mexican food.
Speaker 3: It's like hold tray rice, whole tray beans, two giant
Speaker 3: like tubs of salsa, a couple of styrofoam containers. So
Speaker 3: I'm just walking and multiple people ask me do I
Speaker 3: want help? No, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. I
Speaker 3: get out there, I step up next to the dumpster
Speaker 3: and I just PLoP it in like that, and you
Speaker 3: know the motion like I have to go with it
Speaker 3: and upshoots salsa and sprays me in the face like
Speaker 3: I'm a fucking porno flick right in my fucking eye,
Speaker 3: Like salsa right into the fucking eyes. So I just
Speaker 3: close it. It's burning like a motherfucker. So I have
Speaker 3: to walk inside, and all I could think about is
Speaker 3: somebody who works in the fucking eye field just got salsa.
Speaker 3: In there from doing the dumbest fucking thing possible, and
Speaker 3: now I'm gona have to explain this to some fucking
Speaker 3: doctor that I gotta go see, right because his side
Speaker 3: notes to my beginning story because I quit my other
Speaker 3: job because fuck those assholes, and now I'm working for
Speaker 3: a different job. But I don't work with the doctor
Speaker 3: all the time because I'm working at a surgery center.
Speaker 3: So long story short there. But yeah, so it was
Speaker 3: funny that I just got sausage is sprayed in my
Speaker 3: eye like a fucking wanker.
Speaker 4: That's also was like surprise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the fucking Mexican cum shot baby, that's right, And
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 3: Anyway, So yeah, that was That was my story. But
Speaker 3: that doesn't top the fucking powdered sugar that destroyed the
Speaker 3: rest of this episode. You are all welcome. Dad's on
Speaker 3: Dapo's back.
Speaker 1: So your story reminds me of something that happened with Grayson.
Speaker 1: So I'd asked Grayson to take the trash out and
Speaker 1: I was like, this is uh a couple of months
Speaker 1: ago as well, and he was pissed off. He didn't
Speaker 1: want to stop doing what he was doing. He was aggravating.
Speaker 1: I was like whatever. Dude, like, it's just take the
Speaker 1: trash out. It's fucking twenty feet across the street. I
Speaker 1: already pulled it out. I already pulled the bag out
Speaker 1: of the can. All you gotta do is just walking
Speaker 1: across the street. Your slippers are right there by the door.
Speaker 1: It's easy. He gets frustrated. He's like ah, and he's
Speaker 1: mumbling under his breath. And so I opened the door
Speaker 1: and I was like, listen, if you're gonna be a
Speaker 1: smart ass, I'll lock the door behind you and just
Speaker 1: kind of veil threat. Wasn't gonna do it right. He
Speaker 1: gets pissy, and as I turn around to walk away,
Speaker 1: I see him get get that extra emotion that like,
Speaker 1: you know, that one little bite that catches you. And
Speaker 1: he grabs the bag and starts to swing it. And
Speaker 1: before I could say anything, he swings this bag around
Speaker 1: and up over his head, and the bag rips and
Speaker 1: trash goes everywhere. And so I'm standing there and you
Speaker 1: could see him. You could see the moment because he
Speaker 1: just freezes like fuck, and I'm just waiting for it.
Speaker 1: I was waiting for that loud cussword to come out
Speaker 1: of his mouth. And he turns around and he goes,
Speaker 1: will you help me? I went and nope. It's like
Speaker 1: you got pissed, you got pissed off, and you did
Speaker 1: what you did. Now you got to fix it. He's like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to touch this. He was out there
Speaker 1: puke it, gagging, trying to pay. I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: just come in and get some gloves. I don't know
Speaker 1: why you're doing this with bare hands. Come in, grab
Speaker 1: some gloves, and then finish cleaning it up. So he did.
Speaker 1: He like a like a trooper. He actually finished while
Speaker 1: he was puking, finished cleaning up the trash that he
Speaker 1: had so uh aggressively thrown over the neighbor's yard.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's amazing. Yeah, that's just amazing.
Speaker 1: Kid. The kid's a fucking trip. I've read so many
Speaker 1: stories for later episodes that since we've been gone, just
Speaker 1: from him. Yeah, not to mention the the you know,
Speaker 1: the one that where Lily tried to kill.
Speaker 3: Him, the dads on Diggle being gone on for over
Speaker 3: a year, there's there's lots of stories to make up.
Speaker 3: You know. It's like, oh, yeah, it's it's wild. It's
Speaker 3: fucking wild, Like like when we when we left recording,
Speaker 3: Like I said, the last time Stone record, or when
Speaker 3: when we started, Stone's daughter was a year and a half.
Speaker 3: Now she's like six, right going on seven. This here, Yeah,
Speaker 3: my daughter, the last time we recorded was oh, two
Speaker 3: years she wasn't quite three years old yet. She was
Speaker 3: two years old. Now she's four years old. Other daughter
Speaker 3: that was born is now a little.
Speaker 4: Over a year old.
Speaker 3: My four year old rules the fucking nest with an
Speaker 3: iron fist, with an iron fucking fist. Oh, she's she's
Speaker 3: a true I say this with love.
Speaker 1: She is a bitch. When we were over there the
Speaker 1: other the other weekend, I have lost control. When we
Speaker 1: were making pizza. She she grabs the broom. She brings
Speaker 1: the broom outside. Me and Jordan are outside doing this pizza.
Speaker 1: He's got this really cool pizza oven for Christmas. Uh
Speaker 1: pellet pizza oven, badass thing. And she grabs the broom
Speaker 1: and she's outside with the broom and I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: it's time to go in. And we were done, we
Speaker 1: were going inside. She's like no, like, no, no, no, it's
Speaker 1: time to go in, Like put the broom down, it's
Speaker 1: time to going. We're all going inside. We're done. We're
Speaker 1: gonna finish eating. No, no, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: No, I'll stay out here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll stay out here. I'm okay. I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: put the fucking broom down.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, Dom hasn't figured out that he's out there arguing
Speaker 3: with the four year old. I've already walked away. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I know how this story ends. HOMEI I'm going to
Speaker 3: eat some food, enjoy.
Speaker 1: So sit outside fighting with this little fucking terrorist and
Speaker 1: uh she, I mean she won for a minute, but
Speaker 1: in the end we came inside. I don't remember how
Speaker 1: I bribed her, but I bribed her someway, get her
Speaker 1: inside do something. So I don't know, but she's a fighter, dude,
Speaker 1: for sure. It's a good thing she's got that.
Speaker 4: She gets whatever the award is, and she's like, sucker, Yeah.
Speaker 3: What a loser.
Speaker 4: Right. She just looks at all of you and goes easy. Yeah,
Speaker 4: easy she.
Speaker 1: Dude, when you talk to her, she is definitely she
Speaker 1: is definitely right now playing life on easy mode.
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably a hundred you can see it. Yeah, So
Speaker 3: that sums that one up.
Speaker 4: So I can't wait to see her and her like
Speaker 4: path of destruction into sports, because you know, she's gonna like,
Speaker 4: she's gonna cause some to the top.
Speaker 3: I feel like she'll be the girl when you go
Speaker 3: Like as a as a father who has a son,
Speaker 3: if your son has played soccer, and the very first
Speaker 3: couple of years of playing soccer, it's mixed boys and girls, right,
Speaker 3: and the girls always fucking dominate the boys because they're
Speaker 3: ahead of the game at that age, right, They're faster,
Speaker 3: they're stronger, they're bigger. They just dominate. And I remember
Speaker 3: that when my son was little, And now I have
Speaker 3: that girl that like, if I put her in soccer,
Speaker 3: it's gonna be a problem because she's she has no
Speaker 3: like she's sweet, like if you're hurt, like she'll pick
Speaker 3: you up, but she will be the one to knock
Speaker 3: you down first and then pick you up.
Speaker 1: And I wholeheartedly expect her to be wearing a tutu
Speaker 1: of some sort or a dress of some sort. Yeah,
Speaker 1: along with her uniform, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure like it. If if there,
Speaker 3: if we if Stone and I could convince his daughter
Speaker 3: and my daughter to go to the same college, they
Speaker 3: would probably spend their nights doing recreational roller derby just
Speaker 3: to fuck just to fuck other people.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Like yeah, the other night, Avery got like
Speaker 4: really upset and I was like techling her, and she
Speaker 4: like came at me and I was like, are you
Speaker 4: really coming at me right now? And so I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: gotcha turned her around and she was like ah, and
Speaker 4: I was like we are you? Okay? What's going on?
Speaker 4: And then she like stormed off and I was like,
Speaker 4: what's up? And I came over. She's tearing up, and
Speaker 4: she was like I don't like to be tickled. And
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, oh damn, really, I'm sorry again,
Speaker 4: my bad? Okay, Yeah, I just I don't know, I
Speaker 4: just don't like it anymore. And I was like, it's okay,
Speaker 4: you're growing up, you know. It's we used to something
Speaker 4: we used to do when you were little. But at
Speaker 4: a certain point, you know, I guess nobody likes anymore.
Speaker 4: So we've hit that threshold, you know, you're growing up.
Speaker 4: She's like, okay, I got really mad at you right there,
Speaker 4: and I like, I got really mad, and I was
Speaker 4: like you did.
Speaker 3: She goes back to your room like Billy Madison and
Speaker 3: crosses your name off the name.
Speaker 4: Out But yeah, like that was the really first moment
Speaker 4: where us I Avery got like really mad, really mad.
Speaker 4: I was like, I was like, damn dude, and and yeah,
Speaker 4: like I think given enough confidence on roller blades and
Speaker 4: having Avery understand that she could take her hangro ound
Speaker 4: on something, I think roller derby her and Ellie.
Speaker 3: And Lily too.
Speaker 4: I could see Lily like kicking some ass too. Brother,
Speaker 4: one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Like the rolling tickler.
Speaker 4: Give her the h the old crazy moon, all right,
Speaker 4: she gets crazy on the full moon. Baby your eyes.
Speaker 1: Okay, Jordan, you're good. Yeah?
Speaker 5: Good?
Speaker 1: Now moving into the next segment, No, I can't.
Speaker 3: Actually, but hey, I was at the office barbecue and
Speaker 3: I grilled the medium rare steak for my boss. He said,
Speaker 3: I like it, well done. I said, thanks. That means
Speaker 3: a lot. Jesus Christ, Jesus had nothing to do with
Speaker 3: that joke. Fucking jew all right. Speaking of jew, uh,
Speaker 3: we got some dad jokes. We have done a dad
Speaker 3: joke face off.
Speaker 1: Before we have.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure we did it with all three of
Speaker 3: us back in the day. And I know you and
Speaker 3: I had done a couple of different joke offs underneath
Speaker 3: the table when we record, or did in person by ourselves.
Speaker 3: So when the dad joke off lasted longer. Dome's mouth
Speaker 3: just does wonders. So let's do a dad joke face off.
Speaker 3: So I said, let's bring in six jokes each. That
Speaker 3: way we face each other. You'll face each other host
Speaker 3: three times. So I figured the way this goes is
Speaker 3: Stoned and Dome are gonna face each other. First, you
Speaker 3: guys will each say a joke. I will pick the winner,
Speaker 3: and then I'll have to face the winner. So then
Speaker 3: the person always sitting out picks who they're going against
Speaker 3: until we're all done with our jokes. Makes sense, Let's
Speaker 3: do it, Stone, Dome, commence the suckond cock.
Speaker 1: You first?
Speaker 4: All right, but uh, what's the difference between a piano
Speaker 4: and a fish? M hmm, you can't tune a fish?
Speaker 1: All right? All right, what do you say if you
Speaker 1: lose twenty five percent of your roof?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: Oof?
Speaker 4: You guys, I think it might be one of my
Speaker 4: favorite dad jokes I've ever heard. Is so good. It's
Speaker 4: so good. I'm like three, I'm like three levels.
Speaker 3: I that is tough, because damn those are both great.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with Dome.
Speaker 4: You should.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were both so good. Though I thought this
Speaker 3: is so good. All right, Dom you take? You get
Speaker 3: to go first this time against me?
Speaker 1: Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth.
Speaker 1: It's past your eyes before you can even see it.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: You know I wrote down that you could be clean
Speaker 3: or dirty, and I feel like I'm the one that
Speaker 3: should have just stuck with just the plain dad jokes. Uh,
Speaker 3: how do you not get pulled over by a Jewish policeman?
Speaker 3: M m you're driving the toll lane? Mm hmmmm.
Speaker 1: It looks like you're drinking a fucking cup of moonshine.
Speaker 3: It does, it really does, just because it's a mason jack. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that stone you get to pick, buddy.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go with Deme on this one.
Speaker 3: Dome too, And oh got one more joke left here?
Speaker 4: It is? Okay?
Speaker 1: Am I going first again?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Winner goes first?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 1: What are the most important numbers? Ones with death because
Speaker 1: there's a point to them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't this is my turn. I'm lost, like lost
Speaker 4: right now? That's great ship. What does Jeff Bezos do
Speaker 4: before he goes to bed?
Speaker 1: I bet it's amazing.
Speaker 4: He puts his pajamas on mmmmm.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with Stone this one.
Speaker 3: It's so stupid. Go first, buddy.
Speaker 4: How much does a chimney cost on average? Nothing? It's
Speaker 4: on the house.
Speaker 3: M hm mm hmm. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Speaker 3: Hm hmm open toad.
Speaker 4: M m hmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Stone, I think he croaked on this one.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to go with the note.
Speaker 4: I think so too.
Speaker 3: All right, Just for you, my friend, these are not
Speaker 3: tailored to you by any means. It's just random look
Speaker 3: of the draw.
Speaker 4: Thanks.
Speaker 3: What do you call a thousand Jews on a train?
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ?
Speaker 3: No, that's not what you call them. But you call
Speaker 3: them anything you want. They ain't coming back? Is that
Speaker 3: what you call him? Call him anything you want, they
Speaker 3: ain't coming back.
Speaker 1: Is that a joke? I can't tell that to my kids.
Speaker 3: Here, you get have you met your kids?
Speaker 4: Fair enough?
Speaker 3: Ellie wrote that joke? What are you talking about.
Speaker 1: Right after she got done reading mind comp What do
Speaker 1: you call friends you like to eat with taste buds?
Speaker 4: That's adorable? Adorable?
Speaker 1: No, you got to pick a winner.
Speaker 4: Yeah that one? Okay?
Speaker 3: What has a spine but no bones? Hm our producer
Speaker 3: Randy with an eye.
Speaker 6: Oh oh, why didn't the pepper practice archery?
Speaker 3: Why is that because.
Speaker 4: They didn't have an etto.
Speaker 1: Stoned?
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm?
Speaker 1: Oh ship, And I've got two more? Stone, d're up?
Speaker 1: Are you out all right?
Speaker 4: No? No, I'm just one.
Speaker 3: I have one?
Speaker 4: So who is the king of the pencil pouch the ruler?
Speaker 1: How much does a rainbow? Way? Not much? It's pretty light.
Speaker 4: Unless there's blue hair, and then generally this was blue hair.
Speaker 3: Jes don't go with you. Do you have one more?
Speaker 1: I have one more?
Speaker 3: Okay, last one for you?
Speaker 4: Go ahead.
Speaker 1: Did you know that rain doesn't fall rain drops?
Speaker 3: M hmm.
Speaker 4: My head.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna stick to the theme of not dad
Speaker 3: jokes with you. What's the difference between a boy and
Speaker 3: a church?
Speaker 4: Oh? Fuck?
Speaker 3: The church doesn't scream when the pastor enters.
Speaker 4: Hey, oh good god.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Stone, you just get to pick me even if
Speaker 3: dome winds, because it's you and I buddy. Do you
Speaker 3: have two left? Because I have two left?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Perfect, I'll go first. What's the worst part about being
Speaker 3: bisexual and single? You play for both teams and you're
Speaker 3: still a loser?
Speaker 4: Mm? Yeah? Or her names a j I don't know,
Speaker 4: all right, how do mountains see?
Speaker 3: Tell me?
Speaker 4: They peak.
Speaker 1: Like me and your mom's window.
Speaker 3: A little sneaky sneaky.
Speaker 1: Christmas in July.
Speaker 4: Baby, that's gonna be the name of this episode's powered sugar.
Speaker 3: Alright, last one stone?
Speaker 4: Go ahead?
Speaker 1: Oh god? Who?
Speaker 4: Alright? Why does a duck have tail.
Speaker 1: Feathers to protect its asshole?
Speaker 4: To protect it's but quack?
Speaker 3: On the right track, When does a joke become a
Speaker 3: dad joke.
Speaker 4: When it becomes apparent?
Speaker 3: No? I know, when it leaves, it never comes back.
Speaker 1: O M.
Speaker 3: Suck on them titties. Well, let's just jump right into
Speaker 3: the next topic. Yeah, let's grill talk. So we've we
Speaker 3: we the three of us, although we have not recorded
Speaker 3: in a long time for this show right before this
Speaker 3: last episodes, we do lots of grilling, lots of smoking.
Speaker 3: So I figured, like, let's just open it up, Like,
Speaker 3: what's what's new on the HAPs for everybody? Grilling wise?
Speaker 3: What what do you think? Don't what's the best way
Speaker 3: uh like to cook? When it comes to grill, like grilling,
Speaker 3: smoking those new flattop grills? What do you got?
Speaker 1: All right? So the best the best way to grill
Speaker 1: is with charcoal. Okay, grow back, So listen, when you
Speaker 1: break it down, you get extra flavor, you get a
Speaker 1: good crispy crust. And charcoal is the true way to grill.
Speaker 1: You get a little bit of chemical going from the charcoal.
Speaker 1: You get a little bit of all that lighter, fluid,
Speaker 1: cancerous flavor. Right. Nothing like a fucking hot dog on
Speaker 1: the fourth of July that is burnt to shit because
Speaker 1: your uncle got fucking drunk on the grill.
Speaker 3: Or are spangled hammered.
Speaker 4: Yeah, listen.
Speaker 1: I also do like wood fire. I do like woodfire grilling,
Speaker 1: but that's that's a lot harder, it's more time consuming.
Speaker 1: So my my best is kind of an overall wrap.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: Grilling with charcoal is convenient, it's quick enough. You you
Speaker 1: get very good flavor, very good texture. There are other
Speaker 1: there are other ways that are good, right, but it's
Speaker 1: an overall top way. It's charcoal.
Speaker 3: That would be your favorite way to consume barbecue food
Speaker 3: is off of a charcoal grill, correct, Okay, okay, Stone.
Speaker 4: It really depends on what I'm making, because to be honest,
Speaker 4: it really is different depending on what it is like
Speaker 4: for steak or generally any meat that is purposed for tacos.
Speaker 4: I want a grill for pulled pork, for ribs. I
Speaker 4: want a smoker for chicken. I want charcoal for being
Speaker 4: a loser. I want those flat top grills like I
Speaker 4: don't know, like the Sky's Love directions microd No, you
Speaker 4: know which one I really want to get, like so bad.
Speaker 4: I want to get the Santa Maria grill. Have you
Speaker 4: ever seen those? Yeahs the steakhouses they raising lower yeah,
Speaker 4: into like charcoal or wood fire.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I thought they were hood grills.
Speaker 4: That was the one with the friar that you sent video. No, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: he converted that Santa Maria and yeah, but that's a
Speaker 4: Santa Maria grill.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: Those are pretty cool. They haven't been They have him
Speaker 1: here at Centennial Park. You can rent that.
Speaker 3: Well, that's right, they do. Yeah, it's right over by
Speaker 3: the toptball fields.
Speaker 1: You can make those pretty easy.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: It just takes a police system and some bars and
Speaker 1: pieces of metal and then just brick. Yeah, probably cost
Speaker 1: you a couple of hundred bucks.
Speaker 3: Maybe tops, you know, let's cost you a couple hundred bucks. Agree,
Speaker 3: got you? Yeah, I agree with Stone on this one.
Speaker 3: It depends on what I'm having, because I would much
Speaker 3: rather have steak off of a grill than.
Speaker 4: I I know.
Speaker 3: Listen, I just say I like his breakdown. I still
Speaker 3: have an answer, but I do really like the breakdown
Speaker 3: of it depends what it is.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 3: If I'm gonna choose, oddly enough, it'll be chosen what
Speaker 3: was started from this podcast, which is smoking smoking only
Speaker 3: because as crazy as it sounds like, I'll still smoke
Speaker 3: like a try tip or I'll still smoke a steak
Speaker 3: because on the smoker I can get the temp up.
Speaker 3: On the electric ones, at least get the temp up
Speaker 3: where I can open the grate and then still grill
Speaker 3: it at the end to reverse seir it right. Other
Speaker 3: than that, like everything else I want is on the smoker.
Speaker 3: I want my ribs on the smoker, my pull pork
Speaker 3: on the smoker. I want my chicken on the smoker.
Speaker 3: But I will say that for my wife and I's
Speaker 3: anniversary last year, it was the year where you give
Speaker 3: iron and she remember she's got a little upset because
Speaker 3: her she said her present was late, and then it
Speaker 3: was like a day or two late. And then I
Speaker 3: remember like ups came and dropped off. I got the
Speaker 3: ring notification, I go out there to pick it up,
Speaker 3: and I was like, what in the fuck is this?
Speaker 3: Like it is a like two foot by one and
Speaker 3: a half foot package and it says thirty pounds on it,
Speaker 3: and I have no clue what it is. So I
Speaker 3: open it up and it's actually a flat top welded
Speaker 3: grill that you put on top of a gas grill.
Speaker 3: So she got the measurements and then found this company
Speaker 3: that makes them, and so you put the flat top
Speaker 3: on the grill so that you could have your regular
Speaker 3: grill or the flat top two and one right, And
Speaker 3: I don't even use the regular grill part anymore because
Speaker 3: the flat top just fucking kicks ass.
Speaker 1: Like it's tops are pretty nice.
Speaker 3: When it comes to chicken breast. The chicken breast is
Speaker 3: amazing on that thing because it's so good. And making
Speaker 3: smash burgers, it's so much arne.
Speaker 1: Grilled cheese sandwiches. You can make grilled chees sandwiches and
Speaker 1: done that. Yet you can make eggs and bacon and
Speaker 1: hash browns on those. You can make pancakes on those. Dude,
Speaker 1: wait till you make pancakes on pancakes.
Speaker 3: See that's The other problem, though, is I have a
Speaker 3: flat top griddle that's electric and we've had it for
Speaker 3: seven years.
Speaker 4: That real flavor, though, yeah.
Speaker 1: A little smoke flavor.
Speaker 3: Does this look like charcoate from nineteen seventy ninety?
Speaker 1: Well when you do, when you make the pancakes, just
Speaker 1: let me know and I'll have moc them over so
Speaker 1: you can get some powdered sugar.
Speaker 3: You say funnel cakes, that we're doing.
Speaker 4: Shit and brought the fuddle cakes two taps in the shoulder.
Speaker 3: Randy's been on a rag for a month. I've been
Speaker 3: saving up the strawberry syrup. I's gonna sugar to these
Speaker 3: and dust them off at the end.
Speaker 4: Oh no, the strawberry syrup. H the irony, little clumpy, Oh,
Speaker 4: the irony.
Speaker 3: Unlike a period. That joke will never get old.
Speaker 4: Uh. And we ended it like one.
Speaker 1: Hey, listen, as long as they keep coming, we're good.
Speaker 3: Any changes to barbiecuing since last time though we were
Speaker 3: there like something that you just are fucking like maybe
Speaker 3: the last time we were together that you love, but
Speaker 3: now now it's something else, like you're hooked on something else.
Speaker 1: I want to buy one of those pizza ovens that
Speaker 1: you have.
Speaker 3: Yes, I want one outside of outside of the first attempt.
Speaker 1: That was good. They should have instructions that fucking tell
Speaker 1: you to bake the dough first, all right.
Speaker 3: I should have made that. My dad feel the week.
Speaker 1: M Yeah, we can talk about that another time.
Speaker 3: Yeah. The one funny part though, is Dom and I
Speaker 3: split split a gummy patch pat, and so later on
Speaker 3: we're sitting there locking eyes of the counter like we're
Speaker 3: about to whip dicks out and just gay and.
Speaker 1: Laughing at each other like we had an entire conversation
Speaker 1: without opening our mouths.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much one of those. And uh my wife
Speaker 3: walks by in true fashion and hollers and she's like, oh,
Speaker 3: I don't know it just only said pre baked three
Speaker 3: to five minutes on the fucking boxing. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: we were pre baked about an hour ago. Now we're
Speaker 3: fully baked. It's good. It was good. Love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, dude.
Speaker 3: And actually that that leads me into that that leads
Speaker 3: me in the next thing, the last the last segment,
Speaker 3: which is that's why I wrote it, because I wrote
Speaker 3: it on later on my notes Dad approved life lessons
Speaker 3: example of not needing instructions to build something So in
Speaker 3: my essence was I followed the instructions to build it,
Speaker 3: but then I didn't follow the instructions of cooking because
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, that's for a normal My exact
Speaker 3: response to my wife, No, no, no, you don't need
Speaker 3: to pre bake it. That's for a normal oven. This
Speaker 3: thing cooks in like three minutes. There's no pre baking.
Speaker 3: I go to put my pizza in the pizza oven
Speaker 3: and it just flops like a fucking calzone, fucking face
Speaker 3: onto the stone, chars itself, it fall yelling me.
Speaker 1: Over instantly, almost instantly, This fucking oven's like five hundred
Speaker 1: and sixty degrees. Yeah, dude.
Speaker 3: But once we got it down, once we actually listened
Speaker 3: to the instructions, it went great. So with some tweaks,
Speaker 3: with some tweaks, yeah, some dad tweaks. Yeah, got Jimmy
Speaker 3: rigged a little bit, but they didn't tell you to
Speaker 3: throw a bunch of flour down, and so that was
Speaker 3: so than we created.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that first one was a fail.
Speaker 3: But by the end of the night it turned out
Speaker 3: really good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh it was fantastic. It was. It was up
Speaker 1: there with every pizza I've ever had.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's not true, but it was really good. It
Speaker 3: was good and sold me.
Speaker 4: I was like, that was so sincere. Wow.
Speaker 3: And then Stone comes to visit I make the pieces.
Speaker 3: He's like the man dome sucktarted? How high was he.
Speaker 4: The only dough? I liked this in my ice cream?
Speaker 4: What the fuck is this?
Speaker 3: Stones? Like me that original cal zone?
Speaker 4: What is this?
Speaker 1: We saved it. It was so gonna, We saved it
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 4: It was frozen, frozen thought, Oh, it's not burn, it's
Speaker 4: all good.
Speaker 3: What do you got, Stone?
Speaker 4: I got? I wrote all these like a Bible verse
Speaker 4: kind though.
Speaker 3: All right, let's hear.
Speaker 4: Him, you know, learn the ancient art of smoking meat.
Speaker 4: It'll hide the ancient smell of smoking lettuce for twenty
Speaker 4: six nine pitch yeah, one hundred. It smells like you've
Speaker 4: got a fire going outside, Like I'm going outside. I
Speaker 4: had that ship.
Speaker 1: Let's go.
Speaker 4: It works, or so I think it works. Everyone else
Speaker 4: is just like, what the fuck is wrong with that asshole?
Speaker 4: Jesus Now he smells like a campfire and the devil's lettuce.
Speaker 3: My god, my god, oh Jesus Christ, I was speaking
Speaker 3: of that. I would have never made it as as
Speaker 3: a as a bloodhound we get home all the time.
Speaker 3: This will make sense in a second. We get home
Speaker 3: all the time, and anytime we get home that makes
Speaker 3: no sense. Anytime we get home. In our neighbors, you
Speaker 3: get home at the same time. They're younger than us,
Speaker 3: maybe by four or five years, right, but they are
Speaker 3: younger every time. Summer's like man reek of pot and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I never smell it ever, Like it has
Speaker 3: to be lit in front of me for like me
Speaker 3: to smell it. Really, I just I have a horrible
Speaker 3: nose when it comes to that shit. Always have. I
Speaker 3: always have. Like at concerts, I can smell it, but
Speaker 3: it's usually like right next to you, right, and people
Speaker 3: are lighting it up. But it's everywhere. Yeah, but right,
Speaker 3: and it's everywhere. But if if I'm just walking by
Speaker 3: and somebody smells like weed that had smoked, I would
Speaker 3: never smell it.
Speaker 1: You just think it's your fucking cologne.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I just don't smell it. I do
Speaker 3: not have a good nose.
Speaker 1: That's weird. Normally that comes from doing too much coke.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not all of us can smell pennies before they're made. Okay, dum,
Speaker 3: what do you gonta don't.
Speaker 1: Smell them, dude. I can smell fucking quarters, dimes and
Speaker 1: nickels and pennies across the parking lot. It's a fucking talent.
Speaker 1: It's not. It's not an exaggeration, dude. There have been
Speaker 1: so many times where I've been walking in and out
Speaker 1: of stores and I'll like point to point somewhere and like, hey,
Speaker 1: can you go pick that up? And my daughters or
Speaker 1: my son's like what and they're looking around and like,
Speaker 1: oh okay, and they just fucking within seconds they scan
Speaker 1: the whole parking lot. They're they're fucking Judar goes off
Speaker 1: and they're like shit, they go into fucking predator mode
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, there it is, got it?
Speaker 4: Now? Would you say they trained for this or would
Speaker 4: that be now they're.
Speaker 1: Born with it?
Speaker 3: Maybe it's maybe maybe it's it's like fucking not.
Speaker 1: That hasn't been Mabel since I was sixteen.
Speaker 3: What do you have any dad? Life lessons? Approved life lessons? Dumb?
Speaker 1: Yeah. Don't ship where you eat? Hmm okay, don't ship
Speaker 1: where you eat?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: Oh do I have to explain it?
Speaker 3: No? No, I think I think that's self explanatory. You
Speaker 3: don't ship at your kitchen table pretty much right?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, after you're done wiping, don't fucking smell your
Speaker 1: hand unless you're Vince McMahon.
Speaker 3: It looks like shit to you.
Speaker 4: I guess he does.
Speaker 1: Like ship where Oh it's true. Here's one for you.
Speaker 1: Whenever you're cutting halapenos, wear gloves.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's uh yeah. Always there's a good life.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, another good life lesson for you. Whenever
Speaker 1: you're done having butt sex, you wipe your appendage off
Speaker 1: with a towel. Uh, don't hang it up. Oh no,
Speaker 1: there's a throwback.
Speaker 3: For you, the o geez I remember that one? Oh man,
Speaker 3: that's good stuff. Did you have more stone you said
Speaker 3: you had written out like a Bible verse?
Speaker 1: Or is just that one? It's okay?
Speaker 4: Yeah it wasn't. The wasn't commands. Yeah, that was the
Speaker 4: only one I wrote. I liked. Delete.
Speaker 3: Are you sure you want to delete the next thirty
Speaker 3: six pages?
Speaker 4: Next thirty six? Yes? Shit, it's the same burn everything.
Speaker 3: This file is too large to put in your recycle,
Speaker 3: but would you like to just delete instead?
Speaker 4: Wow? I was told the same thing most Tuesday.
Speaker 1: I got I got one for you. I got one
Speaker 1: for you, teach teach your kids. Teach your kids that
Speaker 1: it's okay not to follow instructions as long as you
Speaker 1: are willing to accept the consequences.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 1: That's a good one, meaning they can think outside the box.
Speaker 1: It's good to think outside the box. It's good to
Speaker 1: not conform sometimes, but you just have to be prepared
Speaker 1: for what happens when you do that, plain and simple.
Speaker 1: You have to be willing to accept what comes of
Speaker 1: those actions. Also, teach your kids had the tie your shoes.
Speaker 4: Teach your kids had a wife their ass.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, dude, I'm not gonna lie. I went back
Speaker 1: to the gym the other day and I was fucking sweating,
Speaker 1: and I mean, like, dude, cause it's been it's been
Speaker 1: a hot minute, right, it's been like two months, and
Speaker 1: so I'll sweat my fucking ass off. And I had
Speaker 1: these shorts on that were kind of this color and
Speaker 1: they were a little thinner, and about halfway through my workout, I.
Speaker 4: Was like, fuck, this is a problem.
Speaker 1: And I I could have swore that I had that
Speaker 1: swast line going, that fucking butt crack ass looking shit line,
Speaker 1: and I started getting self conscious about it, and I
Speaker 1: ended up going into the fucking I ended up going
Speaker 1: into the bathroom and like looking at my ass in
Speaker 1: the mirror, Look, I look gay as hell.
Speaker 4: I was fucking well, if you're gonna do it, that's
Speaker 4: the place to do it.
Speaker 1: But I need it. I needed to make sure that
Speaker 1: I wasn't walking around the gym with a ship's looking
Speaker 1: stain on my fucking pants on my shorts.
Speaker 4: I don't want to be on looking at those crisp
Speaker 4: white st Oh yeah. Fuck.
Speaker 1: Luckily it was just sweat and there wasn't peeking through.
Speaker 1: But it's scary for a minute.
Speaker 4: That dude has the ship. How do you know ship
Speaker 4: in his pants? You've never had.
Speaker 1: He doesn't do it yet, but he's gonna. You've never
Speaker 1: had the fucking accidental Leakageyah?
Speaker 4: You know, no, No, I can't at the gym, can't
Speaker 4: say no.
Speaker 3: I think the worst I've had is that you get
Speaker 3: the you get the itchy ass crack and you know,
Speaker 3: you know there's some ship to wipe because you thought
Speaker 3: you got it all, but somehow some like three dingleberries
Speaker 3: you know, hidden the bushes, you know, and and haven't
Speaker 3: gotten deported yet, and so next thing you know, you
Speaker 3: got itchy ass crack and you're like, well, I gotta
Speaker 3: go fucking wipe again because it's like it's it's like
Speaker 3: an evil. It won't stop.
Speaker 4: You know, the moral of this story, this is something
Speaker 4: to teach your kids, is a washy lash. Yes, please
Speaker 4: got nasty.
Speaker 1: Dude. Grayson got out of the shower, uh like a
Speaker 1: week ago maybe less, and uh yeah it was the
Speaker 1: only shower he took.
Speaker 4: But no.
Speaker 1: He gets out of the shower and I look. I
Speaker 1: look at him and I'm like, okay, Like his hair
Speaker 1: is still kind of wet, and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: did you brush your hair? No? And as he comes
Speaker 1: closer to me, I realized that he doesn't have socks on.
Speaker 1: It looked like he had socks on when he got
Speaker 1: out of the shower because his feet were so fucking dirty.
Speaker 1: And I was like, dude, did you wash your feet?
Speaker 1: He's like, uh huh, like how with the water run
Speaker 1: down well? And he looks at me like he looked
Speaker 1: at me like I was stupid. I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: did you put soap on your hands or a towel
Speaker 1: that's in there? Like there's just like hand towels, there's washcloths,
Speaker 1: and did you didn't put it on your foot. Well no,
Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, you have to wash your feet. They
Speaker 1: were disgusting, disgusting. They were black. His fucking feet were black. Like, dude,
Speaker 1: get back in the shower, and of course, in grays
Speaker 1: and fashion, he gets pissed off.
Speaker 3: Fucks cup and puts it in a drawer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, fucking dude.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, yeah, I mean ship. So, like, I
Speaker 3: was listening to some of our back catalog just for
Speaker 3: old time's sake, right, and like one of the first
Speaker 3: episodes I pull up because I just did random, right,
Speaker 3: and it was a story about Grace and spilling spilling
Speaker 3: a drink on himself twice at a restaurant. After twice
Speaker 3: you were asked if you want to live for him
Speaker 3: and you said no both times, And I was just like, man, this,
Speaker 3: I just forgot the stories of Grace, and like how
Speaker 3: that guy embodies so many stories of this podcast is wild.
Speaker 1: He's a trip. So he's a trip, and he's getting
Speaker 1: into he's getting into video games right now. He's I
Speaker 1: bought him Elder scrolls. He wanted to, he wanted to
Speaker 1: try it. He's like, I want to challenge Can I
Speaker 1: have it? I know it's hard, and if anybody knows
Speaker 1: video games, Elder Scrolls is a Dark Souls type game.
Speaker 1: It's one of the hardest games you can get, right,
Speaker 1: it's hardest games you can play. It's a fantastic game.
Speaker 1: But for a ten year old who has anger issues,
Speaker 1: I was a little hesitant did it anyway, But the
Speaker 1: kid spent two days, not consistent, two days, but you know,
Speaker 1: two different times, playing in two different days trying to
Speaker 1: beat this boss. And he finally did it. And when
Speaker 1: he did it, he was so proud of himself and
Speaker 1: he was so excited, and he came up and he
Speaker 1: gave me a high five, and he's like, thank you
Speaker 1: for not letting me give up, because he wanted to
Speaker 1: give up a couple of times. And I was like,
Speaker 1: just keep trying, dude, you know, just don't don't give up.
Speaker 1: That's why you play games. Games are hard so they
Speaker 1: can be rewarding. It's you'll be fine, It'll be all right.
Speaker 1: Just keep going. And so he did, and he and
Speaker 1: every oup and he ended up he ended up beating him,
Speaker 1: which is cool, and then he got his ass stumped
Speaker 1: by the next one.
Speaker 3: So love it, hell yeah, love it well, Stone, You
Speaker 3: want to close this out, you know, however, you want
Speaker 3: to close this out, do your thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, motherfucker's out in the world, in the universe. We here,
Speaker 4: We fucked up. We had a great time tonight and
Speaker 4: it is so beautiful to pop this out back to
Speaker 4: our dad's ondqual listeners. God damn the beautiful motherfuckers. We
Speaker 4: missed you, Papa kiss.
Speaker 3: All right, this Dad's on dag. We'll catch you next week.
Speaker 3: Peace out.
Speaker 1: Later, that's hope. Hey, guys, what's the difference between a
Speaker 1: priest and SpongeBob. SpongeBob at least asks if you're ready first.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: I thought it was because SpongeBob already came with holes
Speaker 4: b