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Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.

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Speaker 2: I'm Chris, and I died recently and my eternal punishment

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is to do this podcast where we interview everyone in

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the afterlife. And I'm joined as always by Satan's younger brother, Clayton,

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though his more formal title is both podcaster and the

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Secretary of War with the upcoming War with Heaven.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Chris, Chris, put this on. Put this whole wardrobe on.

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Speaker 2: What this is like a Is this a dress?

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Speaker 3: No, Chris, it's a tunic. Okay, haven't you played Zelda idiots?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, strap this belt on, all right, put

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these pants on. Try these boots. These boots fit too small?

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Too small?

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, all right.

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Speaker 3: How do I look.

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Speaker 2: Kind of look like a medieval car salesman?

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Speaker 3: Perfect? Perfect? That is exactly what I'm going for.

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Speaker 2: Dare I ask why we are dressing up in? Are we?

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Are we going to a medieval fair?

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Speaker 3: So we're not going to medieval times? Well, I mean

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we are kind of going to medieval times, but not

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like the ones that serve you know, like chicken legs,

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and you know you get to go there in A

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ten year old.

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Speaker 1: Is having his birthday.

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Speaker 2: The well, I think they're super fun. I just want

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to say that if we did go there.

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Speaker 3: Well you would you would be the type of guy

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that would like costplay as a stormtrooper to a Renaissance festival.

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But no, we're going to like the real, actual like

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fantasy world, like medieval times, if you know.

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Speaker 4: What I mean.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like like where that fawn and the.

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Speaker 3: Faun riisinger and where his ilk come from? Yes, basically, Chris,

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I'm gonna shoot you straight. Ah yeah, Okay, well you're

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gonna shoo in more than one way. We're super behind

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on recruitment for Hell's Army. I mean we're we are

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not at the number that I was hoping we would

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be at in preparation for the upcoming battle.

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Speaker 2: So well what number should we be at?

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Speaker 3: We we would like to be in like the upper

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one hundred millions slash lower billions.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And.

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Speaker 3: What do we have?

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Speaker 2: I mean, these are like new troops besides what Hell

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already has.

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Speaker 1: I'm just talking total total troops.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, right now we're sitting at about thirteen.

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Speaker 2: And a half. Thirteen and a half what troops we have?

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Speaker 3: Thirteen?

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Speaker 2: That's it, that's it. What about Hell's Army? I don't know.

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I mean, does the hell have an army?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 3: Do you see the thing about Hell's Army is we

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we dishonorably discharged pretty much all of them, most of

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them out of a cannon. You know. We just we're

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just kind of lobbing troops up to Heaven and then

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hoping to be like an angry bird situation where we'd

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kind of pick apart Heaven one at a time.

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Speaker 2: Uh huh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that didn't work out.

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Speaker 2: No, I wouldn't imagine it would.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so thirteen and a half and a half. What's

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the he Greg, he's gotten half thirteen and a half?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. Okay, well that doesn't seem very good.

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Speaker 3: No, great, great, No it doesn't. You're right, Chris, Although

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I on the up side, we do have a top

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line sponsor. Hell's Army is brought to you by Chili's.

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Speaker 2: So by Chili's.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so we got that going for us, just like Chili's,

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like the restaurant. Yeah yeah, they agreed to sponsor Hell's

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Army for the upcoming battle.

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Speaker 1: So against against Heaven.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so we got lots of access to Austin blossoms.

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They're delicious old timer burgers. They got milkshakes, all that

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good stuff. So thank you Chilies. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, look there's a lot of coupons.

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Speaker 1: Yeah half off, yeah, half off.

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Speaker 3: If we win the battle, that's that's oh yeah, so

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we hopefully we will hopefully will win.

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Speaker 2: It is an interesting, uh choice for Chili's to side

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with Satan and the evil of the underworld versus like,

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I don't know, Heaven, but I think thematically it works.

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Speaker 3: You know, they're all about ices. You know, they have

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a giant pepper as their logo.

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Speaker 2: Kind of to me, yeah, yeah, that's true. No, yeah,

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I get it. Okay. So, and and we're going to

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what like Middle Earth?

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Speaker 3: Yeah basically, so, yeah, we're gonna be we're gonna be

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going down there, and we're just gonna be tapping into

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all of the different races to see who will join

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us in our glorious fight against Heaven. So yeah, I mean,

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we're just gonna tellport right on out there and see

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what we find. Hopefully we'll run into some kings and

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some emperors and just well we'll raise some troops. I

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have faith that we'll get a couple million. Yeah, okay, Chris,

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are you ready to get.

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Speaker 2: Going, Yeah, do I need to like, like do any

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like tat my heels? You do?

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Speaker 3: Actually? Yeah, with those those are your magic boots. So

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go ahead, tap your heels together three times?

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Speaker 2: Uh huh one two, three?

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Speaker 3: Okay, that wasn't actually what we had to do. All right,

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hold tight, Okay, here we are. Oh, looks like you

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lost your feet. That's that's unfortunately. Should tap your heels

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like that?

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Speaker 1: Chris? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Well, uh?

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Speaker 2: Should I just like walk on the stumps?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you'll be fine. You'll be fine. You

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just have an extraordinary short legs, extraordinarily long arms.

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Speaker 1: But you know, you look go gay, you look good.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's like the city. It's like a is that

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an elf? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this is Boulder Ray and that is an elf.

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Let's let's let's even flog him over. Hello, Hello, sir fairer,

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sir elf. Might I have a word with thee? He

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spit on my shoe? Okay, he spit on my shoe.

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He's flipping us off, he's walking away. Great, this is

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going good. Good start so far.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if l's are really like would join

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with the forces of evil? Yeah, you get to kind

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of hit I think you got to hit up one

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of those like you know, in between you know, races like.

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Speaker 3: Oh look that like that guy were there like a halflings?

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That's a halfling? Right?

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Speaker 4: Are my ears tangling? Or are you talking about me?

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Speaker 1: Oh? Hello, hello, sir halfling?

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Speaker 3: What might your name be?

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Speaker 4: Gentlemen, welcome, welcome to Boulderay, I am the mayor of

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this fine town. My name is bart oh the mayor.

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Speaker 1: Well that's good luck for us. We were looking for

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the leadership of this this village.

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Speaker 4: Well you found him in the flesh.

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Speaker 2: It looked like you were cleaning the trash cans, yeating

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the trash.

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Speaker 4: You know, it's a very tight knit community here in Bouldrey.

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You know everyone, No one's above anyone else. We're all

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we're all equal here, you know, I.

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Speaker 1: Know, you know you just straight up the little howked

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to loogie on my shoe.

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Speaker 4: That's a that's a form of greeting here in Bouldray.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, in that case, thank you.

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Speaker 3: Yep, Chris, you get one too, Thank you and back

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to you. No, well you talk about Tom Yeah, that's right,

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I snatched it. Jedi reflex.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Griff, you're doing great.

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Speaker 3: Chris.

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Speaker 4: Okay, hello crisp uh Chris, Chris Well, Bart, Crisp.

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Speaker 3: And I are here because we have a huge offer.

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All right, we got a great deal for anyone who's interested.

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Are you interested?

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Speaker 4: I mean, I'm always interested.

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Speaker 1: Would you say you're you're all ears because you have

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big ears.

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Speaker 4: I'm very offended that you would point that out. I'm

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very insecure about them.

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Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry forgive me.

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Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing.

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Speaker 3: We're we are looking for the most grand military okay

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for my land. Hell and do you have a battle

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coming up? It's against an enemy. They're probably going to

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be pretty easy, so you know, I mean, it's it's

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really gonna be smooth sailing if you join us. But

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I mean there's so many opportunities when we win the battle.

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I mean yeah, So I mean is that something that

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you'd be interested in?

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Speaker 2: Low Hybrid Wold.

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Speaker 4: Well, I have no idea what your friend said to me.

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But he is a money good looking I like that.

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He's my height too.

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Speaker 1: He is your height, that's right. He is also a halfling,

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is he not, Chris?

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Speaker 4: Uh yeah, well that really sweetens the deal, I must say.

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But uh, you know, we do have a lot of

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mighty fighters around here. Myself included. Uh but uh maybe

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for a price.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what are we talking here?

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Speaker 3: Because I got you know, we've got some funds we

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get back this up.

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Speaker 4: You like Chili's, I actually love Chili's. I love their

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bloomin onion.

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Speaker 3: I see, Chris, it's chili.

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Speaker 2: That's a blotham you're thinking of, uh out buck, thank you?

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Speaker 1: You are thinking about out bocks steak health.

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Speaker 4: I've never heard of that.

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Speaker 2: Autum blothem like a magical thing.

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Speaker 3: Auten blotham is something that transcends all the dimensions, Chris,

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Everyone loves awesome blossoms no matter where you come from,

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even heaven. That's the one thing we can agree with

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on heaven. It's awesome. Blossoms are indeed awesome.

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Speaker 4: Well as awesome as those blossoms are. I actually have

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something that I've been meaning to uh proquire for myself.

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Speaker 3: Oh what that might that be?

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Speaker 4: So I have a buddy here. His name's Kayborg. Okay,

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he's got this robotic metal arm that I've had my

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eye on for quite some time.

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Speaker 3: Sounds cool, sounds handsome, all right?

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Speaker 1: Go on, So if we.

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Speaker 4: Could uh maybe do a little deal where I could

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acquire said object and maybe a couple of goal pieces,

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and maybe a night with Chris here, you know, I

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might consider.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I could definitely give you that night with Chris.

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In fact, you could have several nights.

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Speaker 2: You could have.

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Speaker 3: Years with Chris if you wanted to.

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Speaker 2: That's okay with me?

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Speaker 4: Yeah all together?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Perhaps?

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Speaker 2: Well, Hey, I'm from Hell. I already died though I

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kind of stuck for I push.

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Speaker 1: But see, that's something else we can offer, you know, youth.

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Speaker 2: I thought they said that we couldn't have a little

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boy fight.

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Speaker 3: In the wall. Ah.

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Speaker 4: Hey, hey, I'm not a little boy. I just am

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short and I'm very muscular and very strong, but I'm

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not little.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I thought. Sorry, the myth understanding.

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Speaker 4: The myst understanding.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, myth myth understanding. Yeah, I mean that that'll

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it's pretty doable, right.

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Speaker 4: And maybe one other thing actually before I finish. Okay,

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go ahead, you must also make me mayor of Boulder

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a by any means.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, I thought you were the mayor. Are you not?

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Speaker 4: Well? I will be. I have intentions of being and

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so you know, you know what they say about manifesting,

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If you just say things enough, they come true. So yeah,

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you know, I want to be the mayor.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, Chris, this could work out for us, man,

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I mean, friends in high places and such.

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Speaker 1: This guy's the mayor.

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Speaker 3: I mean, think about all the recruits we could get. Yeah,

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but I don't it's not the mayor. We'd have to

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make him the mayor in order to get those. I mean,

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but once, once he's the mayor, though, then we get

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more recruits because then he can draft all the people

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in his town that he is the mayor of.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but couldn't we just talk to the actual mayor.

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Wouldn't that be quicker?

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Speaker 4: Ella's time's ticken, Chris?

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Speaker 3: Why would we need to talk to a baby horse?

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That doesn't make any sense? Okay? Anyways, Yeah, yeah, Bart, yes,

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I think we can do that. I'm pretty sure we

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can pull that off for you. Okay, all right, I.

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Speaker 4: Like the sound of that. Mayor, Bartholomew Finn.

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Speaker 3: How many recruits do you think and we can get,

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you know, with you being the mayor and such.

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Speaker 4: M I would say a hundred minimum, give one hundred thousand, no,

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like like one zero zero hundred.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well that does boost our army by about seven times. Good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not bad you're welcome.

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Speaker 3: So thanks smart. So, I mean, are there any other

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like local tribes or any other places that you think

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we could find more recruits. I mean we're really looking

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for quantity over quality here. I mean we'll take anybody

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right right.

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Speaker 4: Well, lucky for you, I actually have an end with

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the Orcs, and if you want some people on your side,

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it's it's definitely the Orcs.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, absolutely, they got a great look, real evil,

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big tusks, not very smart.

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Speaker 1: Where can we find these guys? You can just point

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us right in the direction.

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Speaker 4: Why don't I take you over there? I actually got

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this horse over here which we could ride on, and

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I'll take us right to the village.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, this bougie wagon.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, this is great. All right, we'll hop in here.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, hop in. It's a tight fit off to sit

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on your lap.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that's fine.

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Speaker 1: The really beautiful village you got here, Barton.

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Speaker 3: I gotta say, this is one of the nicest horse

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drawn carriages I've ever been in.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you. That's actually, uh, now that you

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mentioned it's something that you might want to add onto

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the pile of things that I would be rewarded with

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for joining you wait.

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Speaker 1: This is your horse drawn carriage.

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Speaker 4: It will be right.

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Speaker 3: Okay, looks like that's the Orc village ahead. It looks

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like they have a lot of human skulls on spikes hung.

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Speaker 1: Up around the perimeter of their camp.

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Speaker 3: That's for both.

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Speaker 4: You might want to put your wallet in your front pocket.

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Speaker 3: Okay, right, we'll do. Excuse me, mister Orc, hey kill

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you mind if we let us through that gate?

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Speaker 1: There no no inter no, okay.

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Speaker 4: No inter These guys often need a bit of a bribe,

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a bribe u offering of some sort.

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Speaker 3: What do we have of value? Do you take Chris's Chris? Yes, Chris?

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Speaker 1: Would you like a Chris? Yes?

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Speaker 4: Me like Chris?

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Speaker 1: Okay, you liked Chris? All right, Chris?

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Speaker 3: There you go?

300
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Speaker 2: Wait wait wait what No, no, no.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like code check, but it's it's Chris check.

302
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Speaker 4: So yeah, you'll let me, fine, don't worry.

303
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Speaker 3: Yeah, go ahead, go ahead with a nice mister workman.

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Speaker 4: They'll take good care of you.

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Speaker 2: All right, Well, are you gonna come back? You know

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when you're done?

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Speaker 3: Maybe? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: All right, we'll see you later.

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Speaker 4: Christ by Chris, I barely knew you, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, bart, let's take take me to the orc leader.

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Speaker 3: Well, we're going to have to talk to somebody high

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up so we can really, you know, get straight to

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the leadership and get recruitment underway.

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Speaker 4: You got it. Let me let me make this guy

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go faster. Mush uh mooshh smush. There we go.

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Speaker 3: Your horse doesn't seem to be listening to you very well.

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Speaker 4: And we're here. It was only a couple feet away

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from the entrance.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's convenient.

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Speaker 4: Here, let me help you off the carriage. Oh thank you, milady.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm not a lady. This hut looks like it's

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the one to go to. It's the one that has

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the most skulls on display. I think we're in the

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right place here. Well, barn, thanks to the ride. I

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think I got it from here. I'm just gonna go

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talk to the leader real quick.

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Speaker 4: You might need me for interpretation, you know, it's a

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00:14:21,919 --> 00:14:24,440
These guys don't speak the same language as you. I'd

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00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,039
be happy to help for a price.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, well name it.

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Speaker 4: I'll take that hut that we're about to go into,

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and a stack of awesome blossom coupons.

333
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,080
Speaker 3: Oh I mean this is this is all the awesome

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blossom coupons that I have in your jacket.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's a lot of coupons.

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Speaker 3: But okay, I'll see if I can get the hut,

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00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,440
don't you know. But I can definitely promise the awesome

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00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,360
blossom coupons. Yeah, the coupons will be a down payment.

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Speaker 4: All right, I can handle that.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, well lead the way, okay for our listeners.

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00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,960
That there's a extremely large orc and he has a

342
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very very large axe, and he's just kind of staring

343
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at the wall. Bart, can you can you get the

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00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,720
introductions underway? Can you? Can you tell him?

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Speaker 4: I said hello, all right, gum gum, this is my friend.

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He says, Hello, Hello, gum Gum.

347
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Speaker 1: I am here to recruit an army.

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Speaker 4: He says, Hello, gum Gum. I am here to recruit

349
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:26,720
an army.

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Speaker 2: An army of what?

351
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Speaker 1: An army of your bravest warriors.

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Speaker 3: I need orcs, half orcs, any warrior that you can

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offer us.

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Speaker 4: I need. I need an army of some cool people,

355
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some brave guys, you know, the whole she bang.

356
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,039
Speaker 2: Oh you want bangs?

357
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Speaker 3: No, No, I don't want bangs.

358
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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: Actually, Bart, I really appreciate you wanting to help, But

360
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,519
I think I can handle this. It seems like we

361
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speak the same.

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Speaker 1: Language, so gum gum. Yeah, yeah, No, I don't need bangs.

363
00:15:56,559 --> 00:16:01,519
Speaker 3: I just need dudes with spears orcs, muscle or you know,

364
00:16:01,639 --> 00:16:02,720
fighters and such.

365
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:06,399
Speaker 2: But I don't understand. What does he say?

366
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:10,200
Speaker 4: Listen, Clayton, Uh, you're really gonna have to go through me.

367
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,600
He just doesn't understand you.

368
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,480
Speaker 3: Wow, that's really gonna drag out this episode. But okay,

369
00:16:15,159 --> 00:16:17,240
you tell him what I said. I just need warriors

370
00:16:17,279 --> 00:16:18,200
with big muscles.

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00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, gum gum. He's looking for some tough guys to

372
00:16:21,279 --> 00:16:24,120
you know, make boom boom bang bang on some people

373
00:16:24,159 --> 00:16:24,759
he doesn't like.

374
00:16:25,279 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 3: Oh I like boom boom bang bang.

375
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, he likes boom boom bang bang.

376
00:16:30,159 --> 00:16:34,039
Speaker 3: Well, no, he's putting his finger into his other hand.

377
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,240
That is making a circle. I don't think. Yeah that

378
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,159
is the right boom boom bang bang. Is that not?

379
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 4: Is that not what you've been asking for this whole time?

380
00:16:40,559 --> 00:16:43,759
Speaker 3: No, I need like like fist in hand, like boom

381
00:16:43,799 --> 00:16:44,759
boom bang bang, Like.

382
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,240
Speaker 4: I have fist in hand. Yeah, that's what we're talking about.

383
00:16:47,279 --> 00:16:52,399
Speaker 3: Oh no, bart, no, gum gum, I need fighters, warriors.

384
00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:55,159
Speaker 4: Killers, he he wants people to kill people.

385
00:16:55,519 --> 00:16:56,559
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll kill him.

386
00:16:56,919 --> 00:17:02,080
Speaker 4: Okay, no, wait, gum gum, gum gum.

387
00:17:01,879 --> 00:17:05,000
Speaker 1: No down, okay, good.

388
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,480
Speaker 4: Okay, what do we what do we talk about using

389
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:13,240
our inside voices and anger management?

390
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,039
Speaker 2: Can it get up now?

391
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:22,880
Speaker 4: Yes? Slowly? Okay, okay, sorry about that, Clayton.

392
00:17:23,039 --> 00:17:23,599
Speaker 3: It's okay.

393
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,799
Speaker 1: I you know, I really do like this guy spunk.

394
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:26,599
If I could just.

395
00:17:27,039 --> 00:17:30,559
Speaker 3: You know, direct that anger and that that that fighting

396
00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:33,960
spirit towards angels, that I think that that would work.

397
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,799
So so tell gum gum that I want to recruit

398
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,400
his people to fight heaven.

399
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 4: All right, all right, gum gum Clayton wants you to

400
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:49,079
recruit your peephole. I'm not sure what that means.

401
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:50,559
Speaker 2: People.

402
00:17:51,039 --> 00:17:54,559
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, not people, your tribe, your group,

403
00:17:54,799 --> 00:17:56,079
your your posse.

404
00:17:56,759 --> 00:17:59,240
Speaker 4: He wants to do something to poop and your pussy.

405
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:03,400
Speaker 1: No no, oh my god, I do not have it yet.

406
00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:05,799
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, I'm sorry.

407
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:10,799
Speaker 4: It's okay, wild allergic to cats, so.

408
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:18,519
Speaker 3: Ye, yeah, okay, I tell gum gum here here here,

409
00:18:18,839 --> 00:18:19,880
I'll visualize it.

410
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:20,279
Speaker 1: Okay.

411
00:18:21,519 --> 00:18:25,079
Speaker 3: I take this sword and then I swing it up

412
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:30,599
in the air. Okay, because we're fighting angels. We're fighting God.

413
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:31,720
You see heaven.

414
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:32,880
Speaker 1: He wants to fight.

415
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:33,759
Speaker 2: Okay, let's fight.

416
00:18:33,839 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no, no. Put out your sword,

417
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,359
put out your sword. Okay, tell them to put out

418
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:38,720
his sword.

419
00:18:39,599 --> 00:18:42,240
Speaker 4: Gum Gum down, Okay them down?

420
00:18:42,279 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 3: Okay, good, stay stay okay, Bart, How can I communicate

421
00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:50,599
to gum Gum? I mean, are you are you sure

422
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:51,400
that he's the leader?

423
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 4: By the way, Oh absolutely, he's the smartest of the bunch.

424
00:18:55,119 --> 00:19:01,160
Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, oh okay. How do we get.

425
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 3: His people to just join my army? I mean, what

426
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,680
do we need to say or do?

427
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:07,400
Speaker 2: So?

428
00:19:07,799 --> 00:19:09,920
Speaker 4: I think probably what we need to do is make

429
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,920
a gum Gum co mayor of the city. Okay, if

430
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:18,160
we could get that organized pronto, we'll need a brand

431
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,200
new mansion from my friend here, gum Gum. He likes

432
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,680
to live in luxury.

433
00:19:21,759 --> 00:19:22,200
Speaker 1: Okay.

434
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,599
Speaker 4: You could see that he's quite fancy, very.

435
00:19:25,519 --> 00:19:28,880
Speaker 3: Based on the rat hides that he's made most of

436
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:29,680
his furniture out of.

437
00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, gum Gum, show if you're outfit.

438
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:36,400
Speaker 1: I have a hat, it's a magic hat, and I

439
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,079
got a rat.

440
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,079
Speaker 2: CAPE made a rat.

441
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,319
Speaker 4: He thinks he's a wizard.

442
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 3: That's nice.

443
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,759
Speaker 4: A wizards need castles, you know, right, sure.

444
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:48,680
Speaker 3: Gum gum, Yes, we can make you co mayor of

445
00:19:48,799 --> 00:19:53,920
bould Array. We just need all of your people, all

446
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,480
of your warriors to join my side. That's that's all

447
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,480
we need. So like you can they mark? Can?

448
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:00,759
Speaker 2: They can?

449
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:03,319
Speaker 1: They just like follow me back to the.

450
00:20:03,279 --> 00:20:03,920
Speaker 2: Portal to Hell?

451
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 4: All right, gum gum. What what Clayton here needs is

452
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:12,440
all of our friends to come with him for a surprise.

453
00:20:13,599 --> 00:20:17,400
Speaker 2: Oh, I like surprises. Where's the surprise?

454
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:26,279
Speaker 3: The surprise is hand to hand combat with invincible angels?

455
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:27,519
Speaker 1: How do I?

456
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,119
Speaker 3: How do I say this?

457
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:30,640
Speaker 1: Gum gum?

458
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:31,319
Speaker 4: Do you?

459
00:20:32,519 --> 00:20:39,599
Speaker 3: Yeah? And your people want to fight for evil against

460
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:46,119
good and kill a bunch of unkillable angels who will

461
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:52,559
probably in turn murder you dead. You know, coming out

462
00:20:52,559 --> 00:20:54,599
of my mouth, I don't know that he's gonna go

463
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:58,279
for that. Bart That sounded pretty okay, all right, well

464
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,759
let's do it, would fight okay?

465
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 1: Great?

466
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,559
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, you did it?

467
00:21:05,559 --> 00:21:07,519
Speaker 2: Okay, let me get let me get.

468
00:21:07,319 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 3: Everyone, okay, all right, Well well he's out doing that,

469
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,519
uh you guy? Okay?

470
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 4: Oh here they come.

471
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,279
Speaker 1: Hey guys, we're going to go fight.

472
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,079
Speaker 3: Is it possible?

473
00:21:20,839 --> 00:21:24,839
Speaker 1: War? And we will kill everyone.

474
00:21:25,839 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 3: They sounds stoked with not.

475
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 1: Everyone, because we will die and no one will die.

476
00:21:31,279 --> 00:21:32,079
Ready to fight.

477
00:21:33,799 --> 00:21:36,039
Speaker 4: He's really got a handle on it. Huh.

478
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:37,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great leadership.

479
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 1: He's gonna do good as.

480
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,519
Speaker 4: Ko mayor Boulteret, what I tell you.

481
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, this guy's great. All right, well, gum gum.

482
00:21:44,319 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you guys want to follow me, I mean

483
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,240
that that pretty much takes care.

484
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,759
Speaker 1: Of it all. Uh. I'll open up the portal.

485
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 3: You know, we can get going. Uh yeah, come on

486
00:21:53,319 --> 00:21:57,000
right this way, all right, everyone join me.

487
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 2: Oh there they go court.

488
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:02,799
Speaker 3: Where's twice?

489
00:22:03,079 --> 00:22:03,759
Speaker 1: Where are they going?

490
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,319
Speaker 4: Oh, they're going into town.

491
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 1: No, this is the portal that the portal is right here.

492
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,160
They need to go through the portal.

493
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 4: Oh well, what must you like? They're all following gum gum,

494
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,359
there's no turning back at this point.

495
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 3: They're okay, well, it looks like they are heading to

496
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:21,880
Bulderray and they are several fires started. They're they're just killing. Well,

497
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,960
that helf that's spit on me earlier, he's dead, so

498
00:22:24,079 --> 00:22:27,000
I guess that's nice. But yeah, wow, they're they're killing

499
00:22:27,039 --> 00:22:28,519
all of the troops that I thought you were going

500
00:22:28,599 --> 00:22:29,480
to be bringing to the battle.

501
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 4: So yeah, you know, I think, uh, I think one

502
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:35,279
of our flaws is we didn't really specify where this

503
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,440
battle was, and they just probably thought it was the

504
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:39,559
closest place to us.

505
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 3: You know, Barta's mayor, you're acting very calm. You might

506
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,799
want to do something because that is your town they're attacking.

507
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 4: Well, you know, it looks like this is actually working

508
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,440
out because that's the mayor's office on fire over there.

509
00:22:51,519 --> 00:22:53,759
It's kind of you're you're holding up your end of

510
00:22:53,799 --> 00:22:55,319
the bargain. So a deal's a deal.

511
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 3: Well, bart I'm glad it all worked out for you

512
00:22:58,559 --> 00:23:01,039
and not for me. I'm gonna get going. Do you

513
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,119
see Chris anywhere?

514
00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:03,319
Speaker 2: Uh?

515
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:03,559
Speaker 1: Oh?

516
00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 4: I see an arm.

517
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:10,880
Speaker 3: Oh, and I see a foot some hands there is.

518
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 2: You could just leave.

519
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,039
Speaker 4: You could leave that with me if you want. I

520
00:23:15,039 --> 00:23:15,759
can take care of that.

521
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,160
Speaker 3: No, you can take his hand.

522
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take I gotta take his head back, all right.

523
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 4: Well, huh thanks for giving me your hand.

524
00:23:23,759 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, very funny part.

525
00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 2: Uh.

526
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,920
Speaker 3: Well, guys, a little bit of a setback with Hell's Army,

527
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,920
but I'm still feeling good that we're gonna win. Tune

528
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,799
in next week to hear us kick some angels asses

529
00:23:33,839 --> 00:23:36,160
because we got some great plans, great strategies.

530
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 1: All right, Well, Hill Clayton.

531
00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:48,119
Speaker 2: Thank you to Barbara Dunkleman for once again coming on

532
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:52,480
to Good Morning from Hell. This is our special kind

533
00:23:52,519 --> 00:23:53,759
of crossover episodes.

534
00:23:54,880 --> 00:24:01,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, so me, Blaine and Barbara, as well as a

535
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,599
couple other our friends, all have a D and D

536
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:08,200
podcast called Tails from the Steaky Dragon, which is it's

537
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,680
a full radio play. It's comedy, it's fun. You don't

538
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,319
need to know anything about D and D to listen

539
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:18,319
to it, because we don't. Yeah, I would highly recommend

540
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,599
you go listen to it and give it a subscribe.

541
00:24:20,759 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 2: It helps support us. But the character I was actually

542
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,119
gum Gum and Barbara was bart the Bard.

543
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,799
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Chris, you were gum gum all along.

544
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 4: Gum A peek behind the curtains?

545
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 3: Where did Chris go? And where'd he come? Come again?

546
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,079
Speaker 2: It wasn't behind a curtain, it was behind a tint.

547
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yeah, it's a great show. I also

548
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,440
play Kyborg, who's a elf, and it's fun. But Barbara,

549
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,039
outside of Tails from the Stinky Dragon and one of

550
00:24:48,039 --> 00:24:50,200
my favorite shows, what else are you working on these days?

551
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,160
And how can people find you?

552
00:24:51,319 --> 00:24:51,640
Speaker 2: Ah?

553
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 4: Well, I'm all over the place, as always have been

554
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:55,960
for the last ten years on the internet, but you

555
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,279
could find me on my personal social at b Dunkleman,

556
00:24:58,559 --> 00:25:00,920
all over on Instagram are all the places.

557
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,839
Speaker 2: But thank you so much Barbara for coming on. And yeah,

558
00:25:05,039 --> 00:25:07,440
I know we've said it a lot, but goes into

559
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,519
tails from Stinky Dragon. Yes, it's a good time to jump.

560
00:25:10,319 --> 00:25:11,519
Speaker 4: In and thanks for having me.

561
00:25:12,279 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 2: Yeah bye, bye bye