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<v Speaker 1>Imagine the place where you can escape for a day,

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<v Speaker 1>gets immersed in a world of rooms, inspiration, and expertise,

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<v Speaker 1>where you can lay luxury, accommodation, and kids can Fees

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<v Speaker 1>from ninety five sets take Its are free to everyone

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<v Speaker 1>and include all the attractions you've just imagined. A day

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<v Speaker 1>out at the Gia, Tikia, the Wonderful every day.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh hey, it's me again twice in one day. Your

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<v Speaker 2>stepmom who's just doing your damn best kids back, just

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<v Speaker 2>a little more colology, Okay. In the episode with doctor

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<v Speaker 2>Renee Engeln, we talked all about beauty standards and the

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<v Speaker 2>history and the engine that drives the commerce behind it,

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<v Speaker 2>and how appearance and confidence can be linked both for

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<v Speaker 2>better and for worse. And I ask on Twitter and

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<v Speaker 2>Patreon and in the Facebook group for your stories. I

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<v Speaker 2>got almost one hundred emails from you men, women, non

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<v Speaker 2>binary listeners of all backgrounds and opinions, and I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to share your stories. So I'm putting out a second

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<v Speaker 2>extra bonus episode because i want you guys to have

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<v Speaker 2>a voice in this. And I'm admittedly a little scared

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<v Speaker 2>to put these colology episodes out because I'll quote a

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<v Speaker 2>friend I don't want to yuck your youm Beauty culture

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<v Speaker 2>can be fun and empowering and artistic, and it can

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<v Speaker 2>feel kind of like a treat.

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<v Speaker 3>At the end of the day.

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<v Speaker 2>Self care and beauty routines are super intertwined with each other,

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<v Speaker 2>and confidence affects us in life, work, and in personal relationships.

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<v Speaker 2>But beauty standards have also made us turn like a

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<v Speaker 2>pretty harsh and literally distorted, wide angle selfie lens on ourselves.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm just hoping that seeing the mechanisms of keeping

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<v Speaker 2>us questioning our bodies and faces will take away the

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<v Speaker 2>power and leave the choice of how you look up

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<v Speaker 2>to you, not what you think other people expect. So

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<v Speaker 2>I think beauty culture could be kind of like the holidays,

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<v Speaker 2>like it could be a treat, It could give you

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<v Speaker 2>warm feelings, but it could also be a stressful drag

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<v Speaker 2>that drains you of all of your money. And it

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<v Speaker 2>really depends on how much you're trying to match magazines

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<v Speaker 2>and go above expectations that feel natural to you. In

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<v Speaker 2>this minisod solo, we're gonna hear from you will learn

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<v Speaker 2>how beauty culture has affected your lives, because I just

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<v Speaker 2>think most of us think we're alone on this like.

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<v Speaker 2>I have had blackheads since sixth grade, every single day

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<v Speaker 2>of my life since then, and I feel like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>the only person who looks at their dotted nose and

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<v Speaker 2>goes why me. I feel like I'm the only one

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<v Speaker 2>on planet Earth. Also, bur strips don't work on me.

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<v Speaker 2>I've googled all the tips. Nothing works.

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<v Speaker 3>Whatever. I think my teeth look weird.

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<v Speaker 2>I wrestle with my curls, and it has been suggested

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<v Speaker 2>by TV map artists that I get botox and I have.

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<v Speaker 2>In my case, I looked like harat Top and I

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<v Speaker 2>was out like five hundred bucks. It wasn't good. In fact,

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<v Speaker 2>one of the things I love about doing this podcast

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<v Speaker 2>ology so much is that I'm recording this right now

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<v Speaker 2>in no makeup, in my closet. My hair is in

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<v Speaker 2>a bun, no mass era. It doesn't matter, you guys,

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<v Speaker 2>just accept me for like my thoughts and my stupid

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<v Speaker 2>questions and words and curiosity, and not if my hair

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<v Speaker 2>has been straightened and then meticulously recurled, or if my

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<v Speaker 2>face looks symmetrical enough, or if you would like swipe

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<v Speaker 2>a certain way on a dating app with me. So

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast has been really empowering for me because it's

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<v Speaker 2>made me value myself in ways that aren't revoked if

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<v Speaker 2>my gray roots are showing or if I look tired.

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<v Speaker 2>So I've been there. I struggled to with appearance in

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<v Speaker 2>so many ways. And in these episodes, I'm not posing

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<v Speaker 2>any huge solutions, Like it's not realistic for a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of us to just up and go natural and be like,

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<v Speaker 2>fuck you world, But we can get a better handle

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<v Speaker 2>on why we feel the way we do and maybe

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<v Speaker 2>find some power in saying, yeah, no, I see what

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<v Speaker 2>you're doing there. Like you know, when you rent a

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<v Speaker 2>car and then they try to tell you that you

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<v Speaker 2>need a bunch of extra insurance, but really your own

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<v Speaker 2>car insurance covers it. Once you know that, you can

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<v Speaker 2>be like, yeah, no, I see what's happening.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm good things.

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<v Speaker 2>Also, just Ani, I read all of your letters, every

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<v Speaker 2>last one, and I'm including excerpts from as many as possible.

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<v Speaker 2>I left out some details I thought might be too

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<v Speaker 2>hard to hear, but you know, we do hear about

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<v Speaker 2>everything from shaving to body image to mascara and what

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<v Speaker 2>we see on Instagram. Just so you know we're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be talking about that stuff. Your stories were personal, They

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<v Speaker 2>were illuminating. They were super validating, and I hope this

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<v Speaker 2>makes you see that everyone, no matter what their social

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<v Speaker 2>media looks like, or how perfect they appear, or how

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<v Speaker 2>little you think you relate to them, or if they

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<v Speaker 2>look different from your friends, we all have similar insecurities,

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<v Speaker 2>and everyone deserves more kindness and less judgment. The fact

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<v Speaker 2>that any of us have survived the journey from an

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<v Speaker 2>embryo to an actual breathing person is just a fucking

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful miracle of science and molecules and chants. And to

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<v Speaker 2>criticize ourselves for not being replicas of a magazine ad

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<v Speaker 2>selling hair gel is just criminal. So let's hear your perspectives.

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<v Speaker 3>Here we go.

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<v Speaker 2>So, first off, on the topic of social media, listener

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<v Speaker 2>mister Anthony Black of the Love Examiner podcast Delightful I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a big fan of his on social media said, my

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<v Speaker 2>friends and I are always talking about Instagram is ruining

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<v Speaker 2>our lives. We follow people who look impossibly perfect and

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<v Speaker 2>are constantly subconsciously comparing ourselves to them. It's like we're

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<v Speaker 2>not judging ourselves in a mirror anymore. We're judging our

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<v Speaker 2>entire social media narrative on the number of likes we receive.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's a really good point. I think we

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<v Speaker 2>all kind of do that. I mean, amen to that.

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<v Speaker 2>Renee is like just follow dogs, and if you can

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<v Speaker 2>get away with it, it seems like a fine tactic.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe I should just open a secret account and it

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<v Speaker 2>won't be called Schmadvoord von pod Blast. I really might

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<v Speaker 2>just open an account that just follows dogs. First letter

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<v Speaker 2>we're going to start out with is from Radka Vikaria,

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<v Speaker 2>who says I think confidence makes people beautiful. If you

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<v Speaker 2>feel good about the way you look at shows and

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<v Speaker 2>smiles are contagious, you might even cause an epidemic. It's

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<v Speaker 2>kind of like wearing nice underwear for a big day,

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<v Speaker 2>even though you know one's going to see it. So

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<v Speaker 2>we'll have that as our starting thought. Thank you, Ronka.

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<v Speaker 3>Confidence. It's like cool underpants.

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to hear from some people who love makeup

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<v Speaker 2>and who like beauty culture, and Kimberly Hudson wrote in

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<v Speaker 2>and said, Hey, I'm a forty three year old lady

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<v Speaker 2>no brag who's been on a mild year long skincare bender.

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<v Speaker 2>I have sheet masks, clay masks, toners, serums, stuff with

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<v Speaker 2>snail glue and vitamin c and maybe gold. It makes

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<v Speaker 2>me feel better about aging, since I can't stop that

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<v Speaker 2>from happening and botox.

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<v Speaker 3>Creeps me out.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a fan of self esteem, and I think everyone

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<v Speaker 2>is easier to exist with when they like themselves. Paula

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<v Speaker 2>Herrera says, well, I have a lot of strong feelings

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<v Speaker 2>about the pressure women have to wear makeup in society,

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<v Speaker 2>like how a woman wearing makeup will probably get a

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<v Speaker 2>job over a woman not wearing makeup. Ugh, I do

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<v Speaker 2>like the feeling makeup can give me. I work from

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<v Speaker 2>home and I rarely have to go out and see

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<v Speaker 2>anyone during the workday, but I still love getting ready

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<v Speaker 2>in the morning. I don't go full glamor or anything,

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<v Speaker 2>but my mood definitely changes when I finish up my

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<v Speaker 2>morning routine with some fresh my just my quick thoughts

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<v Speaker 2>this morning while I get ready for the day. Caitlyn

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<v Speaker 2>wrote in and said, I think there are a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of unreasonable standards out there for women and men. On

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<v Speaker 2>the other hand, I love makeup. My collection is out

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<v Speaker 2>of control. I've been known to do a full face

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<v Speaker 2>of glam makeup by myself at home on a Tuesday

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<v Speaker 2>night before bed. Of course, it always looks best when

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<v Speaker 2>you aren't leaving the house. She says, what annoys me

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<v Speaker 2>most is the assumption that people think I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>I have to wear makeup.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Eighty percent of the time I look like a swamp monster.

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<v Speaker 2>Doesn't bother me, but I love the creativity and the

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<v Speaker 2>artistry they can.

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<v Speaker 3>Go into makeup. I guess I just wished that people.

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<v Speaker 2>Realize that there's room for everyone to just do what

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<v Speaker 2>they want and what makes them happy. She says, sorry

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<v Speaker 2>if this is ramblying, it's past my bedtimes. Sarah Michelle

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<v Speaker 2>wrote in and said, though I don't wear makeup very

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<v Speaker 2>often myself, I absolutely love it and admire artists who

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<v Speaker 2>can create everything from beautiful, glamorous looks to scary illusions

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<v Speaker 2>and even special effects makeup with like normal everyday beauty products.

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<v Speaker 2>Shout out to glam and Gore on YouTube.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey Girl.

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<v Speaker 2>She says, I spend a lot of money on makeup

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<v Speaker 2>because it's fun to play with and who doesn't like

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<v Speaker 2>to pretend they're making a makeup tutorial in the bathroom

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<v Speaker 2>by themselves at three am.

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<v Speaker 4>No, just me.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I can't speak to anyone else, but in my

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<v Speaker 2>experience as a bisexual girl who is moderately open about

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<v Speaker 2>her sexuality. I do find that some people are surprised

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<v Speaker 2>to learn of my orientation and that I don't look gay.

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<v Speaker 3>It happens.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't get offended by the phrasing myself signed your

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<v Speaker 2>weird stepdaughter who will put any type of leftovers into

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<v Speaker 2>a tortilla, best sign off. Mad's Clement wrote in, and

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<v Speaker 2>they said beauty standards have messed me up for a

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<v Speaker 2>long time. I'm not traditionally attractive, in fat, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>identify with either side of the gender binary. Never in

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<v Speaker 2>my life have I fit the mold of a beautiful person.

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<v Speaker 2>They say mainstream beauty culture for a long time destroyed me.

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<v Speaker 2>It still does, However, I've found a lot of comfort

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<v Speaker 2>and makeup.

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<v Speaker 3>It's expensive.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that the beauty industry prays on people's perceived

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<v Speaker 2>flaws and don't even get me started on racism. But

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<v Speaker 2>makeup is an art form, and I think it's great.

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<v Speaker 2>Humans like to paint things on our body.

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<v Speaker 3>That's cool.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm glad we've continued that tradition. However, I don't think

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<v Speaker 2>there should be an obligation to wear it because you're

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<v Speaker 2>imperfect without it. Makeup is art. It's a choice, and

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<v Speaker 2>people are beautiful with and without it. I was curious

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<v Speaker 2>what dudes thought of beauty culture. I was like, yo,

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<v Speaker 2>dudes right in. Oloff wrote in and said, I generally

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<v Speaker 2>like what women can do and bring out with makeup.

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<v Speaker 2>I partly don't want to know how much time is

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<v Speaker 2>spent on something and the discomforts that go with it.

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<v Speaker 2>I can only hope it's worth it and women gain

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<v Speaker 2>what they would like to gain. If I look at

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<v Speaker 2>it from the perspective of what sparked love that was

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<v Speaker 2>never looks. I also was never attracted to the more

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful girlfriend bye Olof, so Olof is like, don't tell

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<v Speaker 2>me how much it hurts. I don't want to know. Also,

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<v Speaker 2>if I love you, I love you well, okay. Jeffrey

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<v Speaker 2>wrote in and said, as a sis, straight, older, mid

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<v Speaker 2>forties white male, there have traditionally been a few socially

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<v Speaker 2>acceptable modes of physical adornment. One of the few ways

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<v Speaker 2>I can adorn myself with something, in a word, pretty,

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<v Speaker 2>and have that adornment not carry with it A lot

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<v Speaker 2>of societal implications about my sexuality and personality is via tattoos.

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<v Speaker 2>In my experience, take for example, flowers, pretty flowers. Right

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<v Speaker 2>now I have on my body four colorful, pretty p

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<v Speaker 2>andy flowers and one large rose bloom. So sometimes duds

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<v Speaker 2>want to have pretty stuff and they're like, well, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I indeed into my skiin, which is also cool and painful,

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<v Speaker 2>but not as painful as waxig. Rob wrote in and said,

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<v Speaker 2>newly single again, I've been working the various dating apps

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm finding it a bit disheartening when a woman's

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<v Speaker 2>posting specifies only guys over five to ten or no

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<v Speaker 2>one under six feet? Is this height shaming, slash discrimination?

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<v Speaker 2>Or am I being too sensitive? I'd have no issue

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<v Speaker 2>with someone being taller than me, certainly with the whole

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<v Speaker 2>body acceptance thing. Can judging someone by their height still

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<v Speaker 2>be okay? That's a great question, Rob, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I definitely think you should talk to other dudes about it,

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<v Speaker 2>and ladies, if you're hearing this, just think you could

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<v Speaker 2>be missing out on really cool ologites on those apps.

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<v Speaker 2>You'd be like, you want to go on a bug

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<v Speaker 2>hunt with me?

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<v Speaker 3>Think about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Joe wrote in and said, as a man, I would

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<v Speaker 2>really like to have more style choices and have more

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<v Speaker 2>information available on how to take care of my skin

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<v Speaker 2>and things like that. On the flip side, I really

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<v Speaker 2>like for women not to feel like they need to

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<v Speaker 2>compare themselves to impossible beauty standards. In closing, I'd really

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<v Speaker 2>like for everyone to be who they want to be.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone should be allowed to be comfortable with the way

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<v Speaker 2>they look. Yes, Joe Joe for President agreed. Russell wrote

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<v Speaker 2>in and said the closest I came to understanding my

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<v Speaker 2>ego came in college when the website Hot or Not

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<v Speaker 2>was unleashed on the world. I uploaded a few photos

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<v Speaker 2>and got rated as high as seven point five. When

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<v Speaker 2>my ratings fell into the mid sixth range, I felt

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<v Speaker 2>vaguely upset, but also ashamed of being upset. Bob wrote

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<v Speaker 2>in and said, being a straight man, most beauty standards

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<v Speaker 2>don't apply often. That being said, I think women place

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<v Speaker 2>far too much emphasis on their beauty routines. Most men

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<v Speaker 2>I know are really indifferent as to a woman's appearance

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<v Speaker 2>as long as she's clean. And I wrote back, Ha,

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<v Speaker 2>good point. How do you define clean, Bob? And he said,

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<v Speaker 2>at the moment, my standards have been adjusted to just

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<v Speaker 2>not having noticeable body odor. So if you don't stink,

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<v Speaker 2>hit up Bob Dylan wrote in and said I've had

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<v Speaker 2>a bit of debate over whether or not i should

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<v Speaker 2>send this, but in the words of everyone about to

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<v Speaker 2>do something wrong, fuck it, and wrote in high school,

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<v Speaker 2>I always went to school with perfect hair and I

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<v Speaker 2>had an emo fringe. We have all had dark fashion moments.

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<v Speaker 2>I got a letter from Mike who said, I have

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of conflicting thoughts about beauty culture. For reference,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm assists hetero, middle aged, mixed race, polish MCAC dude.

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<v Speaker 2>I think, like everyone, I've been insecure about my appearance,

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<v Speaker 2>both for my ability to attract women and because my

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<v Speaker 2>looks favorite the name side of my family, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>often treated like an outsider and suspected by the white

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<v Speaker 2>majority community. That sucks, and I'm sorry, he writes. Before

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<v Speaker 2>she had cancer, my wife, Melissa was an attorney. She

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<v Speaker 2>had to be extremely careful about what she wore and

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<v Speaker 2>how she presented herself. She had to look professional, to

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<v Speaker 2>appear competent, but not too soft or feminine, because she

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<v Speaker 2>needs to control her often violent, sexist, and crude male clients.

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<v Speaker 3>Since she's been.

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<v Speaker 2>Sick, she's lost her hair twice from radiation, gained a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of weight from steroids and uses a walker to

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<v Speaker 2>get around. She's still the most beautiful woman in the

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<v Speaker 2>world to me, despite my statements to the contrary. She

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<v Speaker 2>still feels that people are judging her for how she looks.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the harm I think our society's emphasis on

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<v Speaker 2>beauty does. She is the strongest, smartest, kindest woman I've

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<v Speaker 2>ever known, but she's been conditioned to feel embarrassed that

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<v Speaker 2>she doesn't look better while fighting a terminal brain tumor.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for sending that, Mike, please hug Melissa for me.

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<v Speaker 3>So yes.

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<v Speaker 2>Plenty of you guys wrote into me saying that you

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<v Speaker 2>hate beauty culture, you feel oppressed and pissed by it,

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<v Speaker 2>and I related to so many of these, which is

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<v Speaker 2>why I'm going to redom. You can hear what other

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00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:17.720
<v Speaker 2>listeners had to say about this. I got a letter

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<v Speaker 2>from doctor Trista Edwards, who says, I feel like I've

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<v Speaker 2>spent a ridiculous amount of time discussing with other female

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<v Speaker 2>friends how much we hate our own appearance and how

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<v Speaker 2>much we spend on trying to change except and improve

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<v Speaker 2>our appearance. Intelligently. I know it's all BS, patriarchy, capitalism, YadA, YadA, YadA.

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<v Speaker 2>So I still don't know why I spend so much

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<v Speaker 2>time hating on myself and my appearance. It's so ingrained

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<v Speaker 2>that the mind beasties always seem to win out over

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<v Speaker 2>what I actually value. I will believe in the narrative

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<v Speaker 2>that without makeup, I look old or tired, unkempt, all

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00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:56.200
<v Speaker 2>of which I know is completely absurd. I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>I could go on endlessly about this, But I love

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<v Speaker 2>that growing me presence of gender fluidity is changing the

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00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:05.919
<v Speaker 2>makeup game. I love that women and folks of varying sizes,

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00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:09.399
<v Speaker 2>body types, color and varying abilities are changing the standards

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00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:11.840
<v Speaker 2>of beauty. But we all have a long way to go,

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00:16:12.039 --> 00:16:15.960
<v Speaker 2>mostly with acceptance for ourselves. Lisa wrote in and said,

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<v Speaker 2>there's the general resentment with how long it takes me

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<v Speaker 2>to get ready for a day of work. I try

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<v Speaker 2>to move faster, but somehow it always takes me about

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<v Speaker 2>an hour to get ready. Meanwhile, my spouse is up

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00:16:26.120 --> 00:16:28.399
<v Speaker 2>and ready in five minutes. That means he ends up

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<v Speaker 2>with more free time to do his own things. Well,

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00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:34.039
<v Speaker 2>my workday is extended, Oh my word. Over the years,

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<v Speaker 2>I've slowly been able to break free, and now I

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00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:40.080
<v Speaker 2>can go on makeup free vacations and weekends, which is

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00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:42.960
<v Speaker 2>such a freeing move. The time back and the break

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<v Speaker 2>from the stupid routine is so excellent. Definitely wish there

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<v Speaker 2>was more parody on this. I would love to see

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<v Speaker 2>more men wearing makeup and women more free to wear less.

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<v Speaker 2>Stephanie wrote in and echoed that and said, I wish

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<v Speaker 2>it was more acceptable to not wear makeup. It's frustrating

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<v Speaker 2>because I just don't care about makeup and I can't

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<v Speaker 2>be bothered to put any on most days. I remember

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<v Speaker 2>reading several articles about how women who don't wear makeup

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<v Speaker 2>were seen as less professional at work than women who

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<v Speaker 2>do wear makeup. On the other hand, for women who

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00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:13.720
<v Speaker 2>do wear makeup, if you wear too much, apparently that

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<v Speaker 2>can limit you professionally. It seems like we're damned if

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<v Speaker 2>we do, damned if we don't. Anonymous wrote in and said,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a forty one year old SIS, a sexual white

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<v Speaker 2>woman who has gained and kept about fifty pounds over

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<v Speaker 2>my doctor's preferred weight from depression treatments. Very uncomfortable appearing

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<v Speaker 2>in public the way I am most comfortable in private.

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<v Speaker 3>Does that make sense?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, girl, you're talking to someone who's not wearing abroad

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<v Speaker 2>and my hair is a bud right now. So yes,

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<v Speaker 2>Anonymous throughout some math, and this is pretty genius. She says,

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<v Speaker 2>my perception is that people who present as female are

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<v Speaker 2>allowed one deviation from the ideal. You are deemed attractive

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00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:54.920
<v Speaker 2>or acceptable with buzzed hair if you're also able bodied, thin, symmetrical,

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<v Speaker 2>and dressed ritually. But you can dress like a slob

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<v Speaker 2>if you're thin, white, young, pretty, etc. Great point. Another

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<v Speaker 2>anonymous wrote in and said, I'm in my mid thirties

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<v Speaker 2>and terrified of getting older. I feel my value depreciating

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00:18:09.279 --> 00:18:12.519
<v Speaker 2>as I age. It's wrong and sad and uncool. I

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00:18:12.599 --> 00:18:15.799
<v Speaker 2>try so hard every day to look pretty with makeup, hair,

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<v Speaker 2>nice outfits. I spend my money on products intended to

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00:18:18.920 --> 00:18:22.559
<v Speaker 2>reduce signs of aging. I keep grayze covered, I shave

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<v Speaker 2>my legs and my junk. It's a lot of work,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm still not what one would consider attractive. She said.

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<v Speaker 2>It's hard because I know that it's with on the

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<v Speaker 2>inside the counts, but it is difficult not to stress

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<v Speaker 2>about appearance and this competitive looks driven society. Jocelyn wrote

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<v Speaker 2>in and said, I have rosetiha and I hate it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to feel pressure to wear makeup when

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<v Speaker 2>I'm at work or at the shops or something, but

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<v Speaker 2>I usually do because it helps me feel normal. How

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<v Speaker 2>is that right? I should be normal as I am,

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<v Speaker 2>without any additions or modifications. Sometimes I enjoy putting on

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<v Speaker 2>makeup and going out, but some days it's a chore

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<v Speaker 2>and I feel like I have to do it. Jordan

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<v Speaker 2>Rurnton And said, I'm a cis woman and I don't

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<v Speaker 2>fit the ideal hourglass pear shaped mold. I've struggled with

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<v Speaker 2>my relationship to my body, and I'm very light skinned,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'm definitely privileged in that sense, but I fall

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<v Speaker 2>prey to the eurocentric beauty standards pushed by our society. However,

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<v Speaker 2>until a few years ago, I spent a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>time and money on makeup and trying to change my

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<v Speaker 2>appearance to meet these standards. I'm not sure how I

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<v Speaker 2>feel about spending so much money, because while it gave

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<v Speaker 2>me more time with myself and a comforting routine, it

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00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:33.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't change my relationship with myself and my appearance. I

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<v Speaker 2>think it's down to someone's choice. Sometimes grooming can be

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00:19:36.119 --> 00:19:39.319
<v Speaker 2>a peaceful ritual, but it can be a symptom of

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00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:42.440
<v Speaker 2>being told we're not enough as we are. We also

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<v Speaker 2>heard from Anne, who mentioned that I was at a

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<v Speaker 2>family gathering a summer or two ago arguing that some

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<v Speaker 2>new Disney movie was misogynistic, and my aunt, exasperated with

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<v Speaker 2>my feminism and overthinking, said well, at least you don't

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<v Speaker 2>have freedom pits, at which point I raised my arms

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00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:03.519
<v Speaker 2>and showed her it was complicated. Though I was proud,

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<v Speaker 2>but later I couldn't help but wonder if I should

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<v Speaker 2>be embarrassed.

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<v Speaker 3>What did all the other.

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<v Speaker 2>Family members think? Why do I feel that people feel

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<v Speaker 2>threatened by women who don't shave? Also, I'd like you

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<v Speaker 2>to know that her email was titled freedom pits. Freedom

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<v Speaker 2>pits are a thing I'm learning so much. I got

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<v Speaker 2>an email from Shannon, who was a model, who said,

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<v Speaker 2>when I was sixteen during the modeling years, one of

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00:20:27.400 --> 00:20:30.000
<v Speaker 2>the things I saw up close and personal was how

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00:20:30.039 --> 00:20:33.799
<v Speaker 2>our bodies in advertising are just to sell a product.

395
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<v Speaker 2>We are no different than a shoe rack selling high

396
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<v Speaker 2>heels or a set table marketing silverware. But I also

397
00:20:41.240 --> 00:20:43.480
<v Speaker 2>saw so many girls in my grade try to be

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<v Speaker 2>the size of the magazine girls, which is barely the

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<v Speaker 2>point of the ads. The shoes are the point, the

400
00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:51.079
<v Speaker 2>money's the point. The photographer probably didn't even know that

401
00:20:51.079 --> 00:20:54.880
<v Speaker 2>girl's name. And I'm sad at how much body sadness

402
00:20:54.880 --> 00:20:57.680
<v Speaker 2>I saw in the industry, when in reality, the designers

403
00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:00.640
<v Speaker 2>don't care about anything other than how a garden falls.

404
00:21:01.200 --> 00:21:04.440
<v Speaker 2>Models may well be plastic. I got a letter from

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<v Speaker 2>a friend, Sarah, who says, as to your question, how

406
00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:10.319
<v Speaker 2>much do I think about all this beauty culture all

407
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:13.200
<v Speaker 2>the time? I can logically look at this dilemma and say,

408
00:21:13.319 --> 00:21:16.039
<v Speaker 2>my appearance has zero correlation to my self worth. I

409
00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:18.440
<v Speaker 2>feel like this is true for everyone. Every person has

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00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:20.920
<v Speaker 2>an intrinsic value that has nothing to do with what

411
00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:23.960
<v Speaker 2>they look like. However, growing up as a girl in America,

412
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:28.079
<v Speaker 2>the idea that what I'm worth is almost entirely based

413
00:21:28.519 --> 00:21:31.000
<v Speaker 2>on what I look like is deeply ingrained in me.

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<v Speaker 2>As much as I call bullshit on this idea, I

415
00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:36.079
<v Speaker 2>can't seem to let it go. The central idea that

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<v Speaker 2>I grapple with is how can I feel good about

417
00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:42.200
<v Speaker 2>my appearance? When I believe feeling good about my appearance?

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<v Speaker 2>Should it matter? Oh, this is a great point. How

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<v Speaker 2>should I treat my beauty routine when I believe it

420
00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:50.920
<v Speaker 2>shouldn't matter. How I usually deal with this dilemma, she says,

421
00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:53.480
<v Speaker 2>is to completely avoid it altogether. I feel so bad

422
00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:55.759
<v Speaker 2>about the way I look that I feel like if

423
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:58.319
<v Speaker 2>I ignore it, I can sort of feel like it

424
00:21:58.400 --> 00:22:02.039
<v Speaker 2>isn't there. Part of what Sarah deals with is alopecia.

425
00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:04.599
<v Speaker 2>She says, part of it is comfort too. I feel

426
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:07.519
<v Speaker 2>uncomfortable wearing makeup, and of course the wig is the worst,

427
00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:10.240
<v Speaker 2>but it's more that I feel so conspicuous when I

428
00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:12.960
<v Speaker 2>dress up. My heart hurts for my daughter that she

429
00:22:13.039 --> 00:22:15.519
<v Speaker 2>will feel even a tenth of the pain I feel

430
00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:18.559
<v Speaker 2>about my appearance. I'm actively working on it, though, I

431
00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:21.200
<v Speaker 2>guess I just wanted to find for myself what it

432
00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:24.160
<v Speaker 2>means to feel beautiful and how much of a beauty

433
00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:25.559
<v Speaker 2>routine would go into it.

434
00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:27.720
<v Speaker 3>Love you, Sarah.

435
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:30.559
<v Speaker 2>I got a few other great emails from moms who

436
00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:34.920
<v Speaker 2>had different perspectives on beauty culture after they popped out

437
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:38.960
<v Speaker 2>some bibbis. Vanessa says, I'm a white, CIS hetero woman. Personally,

438
00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:42.559
<v Speaker 2>my biggest struggle has been with acne. I had cystic acne,

439
00:22:42.599 --> 00:22:45.039
<v Speaker 2>so not only did it look terrible at the time,

440
00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:47.440
<v Speaker 2>but it hurt a lot. My skin is now much

441
00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:49.720
<v Speaker 2>better than it has ever been, but I will never

442
00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:52.640
<v Speaker 2>get peach skin. I mostly avoid wearing makeup since my

443
00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:55.519
<v Speaker 2>skin tends to break out more easily afterward. But since

444
00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:58.920
<v Speaker 2>I've had kids, I'm trying real hard every day to

445
00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:02.000
<v Speaker 2>love myself just the way I am. The most important

446
00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:04.960
<v Speaker 2>thing for me is not deprecating myself in front of

447
00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:08.200
<v Speaker 2>my kids, especially my daughter, who is now seven years old.

448
00:23:08.599 --> 00:23:11.559
<v Speaker 2>Her style can be pretty gender neutral, but even then

449
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:13.480
<v Speaker 2>I see her giving more and more attention to how

450
00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:16.680
<v Speaker 2>she looks, and sometimes I find it hard. She's just

451
00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:18.839
<v Speaker 2>a kid. I don't see my boy in front of

452
00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:21.599
<v Speaker 2>the mirror placing his hair up in the morning. He

453
00:23:21.640 --> 00:23:23.200
<v Speaker 2>goes out the door with peanut butter up to his

454
00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:26.839
<v Speaker 2>forehead without giving a fuck. Clearly, society is sending a

455
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:29.799
<v Speaker 2>toxic message to girls and women or any people identifying

456
00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:33.599
<v Speaker 2>as women, and as a parent, I sometimes feel clueless.

457
00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:36.599
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you want your kids growing up loving themselves,

458
00:23:36.839 --> 00:23:39.079
<v Speaker 2>you want their self esteem to be through the roof.

459
00:23:39.400 --> 00:23:42.559
<v Speaker 2>But yet as a thirty something adult, you still struggle

460
00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:45.079
<v Speaker 2>with all those things. But that's a great point. The

461
00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:48.559
<v Speaker 2>idea that little dudes just leave the house peanut butter

462
00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:51.759
<v Speaker 2>up to their eyebrows. Don't give a fuck. Stephanie also

463
00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:54.519
<v Speaker 2>had a different take on beauty since she became a mom.

464
00:23:54.759 --> 00:23:57.880
<v Speaker 2>She says, anyway, maybe a weird take on your question. However,

465
00:23:57.960 --> 00:23:59.920
<v Speaker 2>over the last year, I've had a complete shift in

466
00:24:00.119 --> 00:24:04.359
<v Speaker 2>how I view beauty, modesty, and the female body in general.

467
00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:08.480
<v Speaker 2>I was raised really conservative, so very modest. Flash forward

468
00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:12.039
<v Speaker 2>to being pregnant with my wee little babers and having

469
00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:15.920
<v Speaker 2>my bod wrecked by pregnancy. Now, in case you didn't know,

470
00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:19.400
<v Speaker 2>pregnancy is rough. Between your body taking on a completely

471
00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:23.119
<v Speaker 2>new shape and at leaking weird fluids constantly, you don't

472
00:24:23.119 --> 00:24:25.160
<v Speaker 2>particularly care what other people think of you, at least

473
00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:28.599
<v Speaker 2>I didn't. I found some hella beauty though, in myself

474
00:24:28.920 --> 00:24:31.759
<v Speaker 2>and the other moms around me, Like women are strong

475
00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:34.359
<v Speaker 2>as hell. When you whip out your tit for the

476
00:24:34.440 --> 00:24:38.160
<v Speaker 2>millionth time in public, you find your own version of beauty,

477
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:41.319
<v Speaker 2>and you find yourself cheering for every single body type,

478
00:24:41.559 --> 00:24:45.000
<v Speaker 2>every single expression of a strong body in whatever form

479
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:48.880
<v Speaker 2>that may take. Now I'm rocking literally whatever the hell

480
00:24:48.960 --> 00:24:51.599
<v Speaker 2>I want to wear, whatever I think looks good stuff.

481
00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:54.359
<v Speaker 2>I was too worried to have people judge me in before.

482
00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:58.000
<v Speaker 2>So moms open in minds over here, and I heard

483
00:24:58.039 --> 00:24:59.640
<v Speaker 2>from a lot of people who dealt not so much

484
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:02.759
<v Speaker 2>with beauty and makeup and lipstick and mascara, but just

485
00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:05.960
<v Speaker 2>being comfortable in their own bodies. Lisa says, I'm a

486
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:09.160
<v Speaker 2>plus sized teenager who's just starting to accept her body

487
00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:11.119
<v Speaker 2>the way it is. Looking back at photos of me,

488
00:25:11.480 --> 00:25:15.079
<v Speaker 2>I now realize how skewed my own perception of myself

489
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:17.480
<v Speaker 2>used to be. I saw myself as a lot bigger

490
00:25:17.480 --> 00:25:19.599
<v Speaker 2>than I actually was, because people tend to taunt you,

491
00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:22.680
<v Speaker 2>whether you have five pounds too much or fifty pounds.

492
00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:25.599
<v Speaker 2>So I'm hopeful for the future as I'm trying to

493
00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:29.440
<v Speaker 2>look past society's beauty standards and find my own. Someone

494
00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:31.440
<v Speaker 2>named Kat wrote in and said I was bullied at

495
00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:34.480
<v Speaker 2>school for being tall and skinny, what many people see

496
00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:37.200
<v Speaker 2>as the ideal. I got teased for looking at her

497
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:40.640
<v Speaker 2>exic when I was just a growing, lean kid. As

498
00:25:40.680 --> 00:25:43.359
<v Speaker 2>I got older, I gained weight and felt pressure to

499
00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:45.920
<v Speaker 2>be skinny. I still feel these pressures today, but I

500
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:48.880
<v Speaker 2>try to remind myself that I should only keep myself

501
00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:51.640
<v Speaker 2>happy and healthy and the rest doesn't matter.

502
00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:52.759
<v Speaker 3>Amen.

503
00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:56.039
<v Speaker 2>Someone named Rachel wrote in and had a similar experience,

504
00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.480
<v Speaker 2>saying that she grew up as a skinny mini should

505
00:25:59.480 --> 00:26:02.160
<v Speaker 2>have strangers come up and ask me with concern if

506
00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:04.359
<v Speaker 2>I was aware that I was too skinny, and she

507
00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:06.839
<v Speaker 2>envied the hell out of real woman who had curves

508
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:10.160
<v Speaker 2>and stretch marks and chubb. I knew our culture said

509
00:26:10.160 --> 00:26:13.559
<v Speaker 2>that my thin frame was the ideal, but I felt

510
00:26:13.640 --> 00:26:16.319
<v Speaker 2>like it was a false equivalent of beautiful, made up

511
00:26:16.359 --> 00:26:19.400
<v Speaker 2>by selfish, greedy people. It was a weird space to

512
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:21.599
<v Speaker 2>be in. Anyway, I've come to like myself a lot

513
00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:23.519
<v Speaker 2>more in the past few years. I've accepted that my

514
00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:26.079
<v Speaker 2>beauty doesn't have to compete with anybody else's, and I've

515
00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:29.920
<v Speaker 2>come to realize what bullshit a lot of beauty standards are. Anyway, Sorry,

516
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:32.359
<v Speaker 2>this turned into a bit of a therapy session. Hey, Rachel,

517
00:26:32.799 --> 00:26:35.799
<v Speaker 2>I loved it. Thanks for opening up. Jay wrote in

518
00:26:35.799 --> 00:26:39.400
<v Speaker 2>to say that her parents' favorite form of shit talking

519
00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:41.920
<v Speaker 2>when they were young was to call other people fat

520
00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:45.119
<v Speaker 2>and ugly. She said, my folks loved me unconditionally and

521
00:26:45.160 --> 00:26:49.079
<v Speaker 2>never said anything unkind to them, but they were brutal

522
00:26:49.119 --> 00:26:52.799
<v Speaker 2>about themselves and other people. And this is from two intelligent,

523
00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:56.720
<v Speaker 2>kind liberal people, so growing up in that environment made

524
00:26:57.200 --> 00:27:00.440
<v Speaker 2>me self conscious about high luck. Obviously, She goes on

525
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:02.160
<v Speaker 2>to say I still won't go out in public in

526
00:27:02.200 --> 00:27:04.000
<v Speaker 2>a sleeve of shirt because I think my arms are

527
00:27:04.039 --> 00:27:06.960
<v Speaker 2>too fat, and the feminist in me is pissed. Who

528
00:27:07.039 --> 00:27:09.400
<v Speaker 2>the hell cares? Love yourself the way you are screw

529
00:27:09.440 --> 00:27:11.680
<v Speaker 2>everyone else. I'd say ninety percent of the time, I'm there,

530
00:27:11.720 --> 00:27:14.039
<v Speaker 2>but it's tough, and it pisses me off because I

531
00:27:14.039 --> 00:27:16.319
<v Speaker 2>could be spending that energy and brain power on about

532
00:27:16.359 --> 00:27:18.960
<v Speaker 2>a million other things that would make me happy or

533
00:27:19.039 --> 00:27:22.440
<v Speaker 2>make the world better. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with beauty

534
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:26.000
<v Speaker 2>in and of itself, but it's all just so fucking exhausting. Anyway,

535
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:28.200
<v Speaker 2>I guess my check for our session will be in

536
00:27:28.240 --> 00:27:30.880
<v Speaker 2>the mail. Super looking forward to this episode. I will

537
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:35.039
<v Speaker 2>not invoice you. I enjoyed your emails tremendously. Liz wrote

538
00:27:35.039 --> 00:27:36.799
<v Speaker 2>in to say, as a person who's always had issues

539
00:27:36.799 --> 00:27:38.559
<v Speaker 2>with my appearance, I feel like there will never be

540
00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:41.480
<v Speaker 2>an end to myself criticism. And although I am often

541
00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:44.039
<v Speaker 2>satisfied with what I see in mirrors when I get ready,

542
00:27:44.079 --> 00:27:47.599
<v Speaker 2>I always feel embarrassed when I see photos of myself.

543
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:50.200
<v Speaker 2>I can't tell what to believe, and I feel like

544
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:53.480
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely have no idea what I look like in

545
00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:57.720
<v Speaker 2>the world. Me personally, I always think of myself as

546
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:01.720
<v Speaker 2>what happens when you open your front facing camera. That's

547
00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:03.799
<v Speaker 2>what I think I look like all the time. So

548
00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:06.119
<v Speaker 2>just the fact that we have front facing cameras that

549
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:10.240
<v Speaker 2>open accidentally is like probably ruining so many people right

550
00:28:10.279 --> 00:28:13.839
<v Speaker 2>now at this moment. We have to just remember that

551
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:16.519
<v Speaker 2>that's not reality. Tracy a guy wrote in to say,

552
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:18.319
<v Speaker 2>for me, having just come out as gay to my

553
00:28:18.519 --> 00:28:21.799
<v Speaker 2>unsupportive parents, a few supportive family members, and a supportive

554
00:28:21.839 --> 00:28:25.200
<v Speaker 2>close family friend, it's hard to write what I desire

555
00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:28.519
<v Speaker 2>as I was never able to openly express who I

556
00:28:28.640 --> 00:28:31.640
<v Speaker 2>truly am. All through high school I was athletics. So

557
00:28:31.759 --> 00:28:34.240
<v Speaker 2>now I'm trying to get comfortable my own skin as

558
00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:37.119
<v Speaker 2>an openly gay male, well openly gay as some and

559
00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:38.640
<v Speaker 2>still working on the rest with.

560
00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:39.359
<v Speaker 3>Love and support.

561
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:42.440
<v Speaker 2>Tracy Anonymous wrote in to say, I would say the

562
00:28:42.440 --> 00:28:44.480
<v Speaker 2>beauty standards are on my mind about eighty percent of

563
00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:46.240
<v Speaker 2>the time. I'm a plus size twenty five year old

564
00:28:46.279 --> 00:28:49.079
<v Speaker 2>woman in the world of beauty, the world in general

565
00:28:49.240 --> 00:28:51.839
<v Speaker 2>doesn't really cater to people like me. For most of

566
00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:54.720
<v Speaker 2>my life. I've had horrible self esteem. My body issues

567
00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:57.039
<v Speaker 2>tend to be very much related to modern standards of

568
00:28:57.079 --> 00:28:59.680
<v Speaker 2>beauty and whether or not I meet them. I think

569
00:28:59.799 --> 00:29:01.599
<v Speaker 2>we as humans have a long way to go when

570
00:29:01.640 --> 00:29:03.880
<v Speaker 2>it comes to kinder beauty standards.

571
00:29:04.359 --> 00:29:06.079
<v Speaker 3>I hear you with that.

572
00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:10.039
<v Speaker 2>I also heard from listeners who struggle with racism in

573
00:29:10.079 --> 00:29:13.519
<v Speaker 2>the beauty industry. Anonymous wrote in and said, Hey, Ali,

574
00:29:13.640 --> 00:29:16.400
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to give some perspective from that of a halfricin.

575
00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:18.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm half black and half white. Being mixed is so

576
00:29:19.160 --> 00:29:22.200
<v Speaker 2>crazy for tons of different reasons. Sometimes you're shunned for

577
00:29:22.279 --> 00:29:25.119
<v Speaker 2>having the good hair like Becky by the black community.

578
00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:28.160
<v Speaker 2>Then there's the of course black men date you because

579
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:30.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm kurby, and why on earth would a white guy

580
00:29:30.519 --> 00:29:33.359
<v Speaker 2>date a curby woman. So I've struggled with body image

581
00:29:33.359 --> 00:29:35.759
<v Speaker 2>of my whole life and why is it socially acceptable

582
00:29:35.880 --> 00:29:37.480
<v Speaker 2>to walk up to someone and ask what are you?

583
00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:40.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm a fucking human. You also having to defend my

584
00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:44.319
<v Speaker 2>answer that I'm mixed and people not believing it is frustrating.

585
00:29:44.599 --> 00:29:46.599
<v Speaker 2>In terms of some of your other questions. I hate

586
00:29:46.599 --> 00:29:48.640
<v Speaker 2>my hair. It's curly and I always want to straighten it.

587
00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:51.680
<v Speaker 2>I've been leaving it natural more often, probably because of humidity.

588
00:29:51.799 --> 00:29:54.200
<v Speaker 2>There's zero point in straightening it. I think I started

589
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:56.880
<v Speaker 2>straightening my hair because of society, though curls were never

590
00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:59.720
<v Speaker 2>a thing that was highlighted growing up. I've no time

591
00:29:59.720 --> 00:30:02.119
<v Speaker 2>for me. That's a going out thing only. But these

592
00:30:02.119 --> 00:30:04.839
<v Speaker 2>are some quick thoughts that came to my mind. Kennedy

593
00:30:04.880 --> 00:30:07.000
<v Speaker 2>from the Patreon page says, it took me a long

594
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:08.960
<v Speaker 2>time to be happy with my curly hair. I used

595
00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:11.640
<v Speaker 2>to straighten it every day for years when I was younger.

596
00:30:11.799 --> 00:30:14.240
<v Speaker 2>Not only was it damaging to my hair, but I

597
00:30:14.279 --> 00:30:16.240
<v Speaker 2>hate to think of all the time I wasted that

598
00:30:16.279 --> 00:30:19.279
<v Speaker 2>could have been spent elsewhere. Caitlin Donald says, I second

599
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:21.920
<v Speaker 2>Kennedy's point about curly hair. My sister is a lawyer

600
00:30:22.119 --> 00:30:25.000
<v Speaker 2>with very curly hair who's been told multiple times to

601
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:28.680
<v Speaker 2>make her hair look a little more professional. And should

602
00:30:28.680 --> 00:30:30.480
<v Speaker 2>I mention her hair is beautiful. She does a great

603
00:30:30.519 --> 00:30:32.000
<v Speaker 2>job of keeping a pull back off her face and

604
00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:34.880
<v Speaker 2>things like that. The only issue is because it's curly.

605
00:30:35.319 --> 00:30:38.480
<v Speaker 2>As a person with curly hair, I get it. Audre

606
00:30:38.519 --> 00:30:41.079
<v Speaker 2>wrote in and said, here are my tidbits on calology

607
00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:45.240
<v Speaker 2>in the adopted from Asia population. I'm adopted from China.

608
00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.200
<v Speaker 2>I grew up in a predominantly white area. Thus I

609
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:52.240
<v Speaker 2>grew up surrounded by American beauty standards. Being born into

610
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:54.599
<v Speaker 2>one culture yet raised in another results in a lot

611
00:30:54.599 --> 00:30:57.559
<v Speaker 2>of pressure and two different sets of standards. Sometimes I

612
00:30:57.559 --> 00:31:01.200
<v Speaker 2>feel like I'm being judged by both simultananeously. I now

613
00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:02.920
<v Speaker 2>just do what I want, But the high school and

614
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:06.839
<v Speaker 2>college years weren't so great. Thanks for listening, Thank you

615
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:10.240
<v Speaker 2>for listening. Audra Hi says, as a Vietnamese American, appearance

616
00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:12.400
<v Speaker 2>pressure in beauty culture is a mixed bag. I've been

617
00:31:12.440 --> 00:31:15.559
<v Speaker 2>overweight since I was a teen. My aunts meanwhile, but

618
00:31:15.640 --> 00:31:18.319
<v Speaker 2>there's always a recommendation on a diet, a tea, or

619
00:31:18.359 --> 00:31:20.880
<v Speaker 2>an exercise routine so that I can lose weight.

620
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:21.599
<v Speaker 3>And be pretty.

621
00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:24.559
<v Speaker 2>My daughter is mixed race and can pass for white.

622
00:31:24.839 --> 00:31:27.799
<v Speaker 2>I've been asked by shop owners if I'm the babysitter,

623
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.559
<v Speaker 2>and I know she'll face hurt for not looking Asian enough.

624
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:35.920
<v Speaker 2>Sorry for the rant, No apologies, Oh dad pod is here,

625
00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:39.680
<v Speaker 2>listen now for all of this pressure to look one

626
00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:42.440
<v Speaker 2>way and wear a makeup. I also heard from a

627
00:31:42.519 --> 00:31:45.839
<v Speaker 2>bunch of people in academia and in the STEM fields,

628
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:49.960
<v Speaker 2>who say it's the opposite. Doctor Tory S. Penson says,

629
00:31:50.200 --> 00:31:54.119
<v Speaker 2>I'm a neuroscientist or a psychopathologist, if you will. As

630
00:31:54.119 --> 00:31:55.559
<v Speaker 2>a woman in STEM, I feel like there are the

631
00:31:55.599 --> 00:31:57.799
<v Speaker 2>same pressures on appearance that you see in the real world,

632
00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:00.839
<v Speaker 2>except they're flipped. I like to wear dress, this jewelry,

633
00:32:00.839 --> 00:32:03.920
<v Speaker 2>and makeup, and have found that having a traditionally feminine appearance,

634
00:32:04.240 --> 00:32:07.720
<v Speaker 2>or putting effort into your appearance, discredits you and leads

635
00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:09.920
<v Speaker 2>to judgment people I meet it quick to tell me

636
00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:12.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't look like a scientist. I've heard faculty members

637
00:32:12.640 --> 00:32:15.640
<v Speaker 2>speaking poorly of women who put effort into their appearance.

638
00:32:15.799 --> 00:32:17.880
<v Speaker 2>It's important to note that this feedback comes from both

639
00:32:17.880 --> 00:32:21.640
<v Speaker 2>men and women, and it's a bizarre, flipped twilight zone

640
00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:24.680
<v Speaker 2>of what we currently think in terms of women's beauty standards.

641
00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:27.079
<v Speaker 2>I heard that from Jordan too, who says, given my

642
00:32:27.119 --> 00:32:30.599
<v Speaker 2>experience in the engineering field, I've never experienced any kind

643
00:32:30.599 --> 00:32:32.759
<v Speaker 2>of expectation for women to wear or makeup at work.

644
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:35.839
<v Speaker 2>I heard from another female scientist who says, throughout my

645
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:38.920
<v Speaker 2>time in science, I had to balance that impossible, no

646
00:32:39.079 --> 00:32:41.960
<v Speaker 2>right answer dilemma of looking good but not too good,

647
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:44.960
<v Speaker 2>Particularly because as a young scientist, so much depends on

648
00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:47.799
<v Speaker 2>your ability to get old white men to tell you things.

649
00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:49.960
<v Speaker 2>They have to be interested and willing to talk to

650
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:52.119
<v Speaker 2>you and teach you stuff, but not so interested that

651
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:54.400
<v Speaker 2>they get handsy. Sam wrote in and said, I've never

652
00:32:54.440 --> 00:32:56.640
<v Speaker 2>cared too much about my appearance, instead being the sort

653
00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:59.400
<v Speaker 2>of person who would rather sacrifice make up application time

654
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:02.240
<v Speaker 2>in the morning for sleep. This has worked out for

655
00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:05.160
<v Speaker 2>me because I am an academic scientist. Often I notice

656
00:33:05.160 --> 00:33:09.160
<v Speaker 2>that there's a sort of reverse beauty standard effect in academia.

657
00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:12.480
<v Speaker 2>If someone, a woman especially, takes what is perceived as

658
00:33:12.519 --> 00:33:15.079
<v Speaker 2>too much time or care in her appearance, often people

659
00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:18.880
<v Speaker 2>conclude that she must be compensating for poor research.

660
00:33:19.640 --> 00:33:20.480
<v Speaker 3>Can you believe that?

661
00:33:21.240 --> 00:33:23.799
<v Speaker 2>Jordan wrote in to say, as an engineer, I do

662
00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:26.119
<v Speaker 2>not hesitate to show up to work make up lists

663
00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:28.599
<v Speaker 2>if I don't feel like wearing it that day. I

664
00:33:28.599 --> 00:33:31.240
<v Speaker 2>have a friend, doctor Crystal Dilworth, who was a neuroscientist,

665
00:33:31.240 --> 00:33:34.359
<v Speaker 2>who did an entire ted talk in very bright high

666
00:33:34.359 --> 00:33:37.400
<v Speaker 2>heels just to prove that women in STEM can also

667
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:40.000
<v Speaker 2>be girly if they want. I will link it in

668
00:33:40.079 --> 00:33:44.039
<v Speaker 2>the show notes. So clearly beauty culture is confusing we

669
00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:47.920
<v Speaker 2>hear you have to look glamorous and perfect. In some cases,

670
00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:51.200
<v Speaker 2>we also hear don't look too glamorous, or else no

671
00:33:51.240 --> 00:33:54.839
<v Speaker 2>one will have any faith in your intelligence. It's a

672
00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:58.440
<v Speaker 2>complete and total mind fuck. And I heard from some

673
00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:02.640
<v Speaker 2>really wonderful tranceless and I feel super privileged to get

674
00:34:02.680 --> 00:34:05.599
<v Speaker 2>their voices in here. And Tay rode in and said,

675
00:34:05.759 --> 00:34:09.400
<v Speaker 2>as a recently out in recently transitioning trans man, I've

676
00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:12.079
<v Speaker 2>been conflicted about the old beauty habits when I presented

677
00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:15.239
<v Speaker 2>as a femme woman. While on principle I support men

678
00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:18.320
<v Speaker 2>wearing makeup. If I do wear makeup or reveal any

679
00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:21.719
<v Speaker 2>of my girly habits, people misgender me more often. I'm

680
00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:24.239
<v Speaker 2>still really into makeup and skincare and all that, and

681
00:34:24.280 --> 00:34:26.760
<v Speaker 2>sometimes I still put on my whole face, but it's

682
00:34:26.800 --> 00:34:31.840
<v Speaker 2>been difficult dealing with the constraints of traditional masculinity. I

683
00:34:31.880 --> 00:34:35.320
<v Speaker 2>also heard from Jake, who is a non binary trans man,

684
00:34:35.440 --> 00:34:40.239
<v Speaker 2>who says I'm an electrologist who an ologist, saying I

685
00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:43.719
<v Speaker 2>remove hair with a cool machine that zaps people's pores.

686
00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:46.079
<v Speaker 2>So it would seem like I'm all about beauty, right,

687
00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:48.719
<v Speaker 2>but it's actually the opposite. I hate beauty culture and

688
00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:51.639
<v Speaker 2>the expectation for women to be hairless. I hate that

689
00:34:51.639 --> 00:34:56.320
<v Speaker 2>there are multiple billion dollar industries devoted to creating and

690
00:34:56.360 --> 00:34:59.960
<v Speaker 2>then profiting off insecurities. I'm not against people want to

691
00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:03.480
<v Speaker 2>feel beautiful. I'm against the industries that have taken a

692
00:35:03.559 --> 00:35:07.440
<v Speaker 2>financial incentive to make people feel ugly. All that gets

693
00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:09.840
<v Speaker 2>a little bit more complicated when it comes to trans people,

694
00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:13.119
<v Speaker 2>and that's why I remove hair, because for some trans people,

695
00:35:13.400 --> 00:35:16.400
<v Speaker 2>hair removal isn't just about beauty. It's a dysphoria and

696
00:35:16.440 --> 00:35:19.639
<v Speaker 2>a safety issue. I'm a non binary trans man and

697
00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:23.000
<v Speaker 2>all of my clients are trans women. The worst beauty

698
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:25.880
<v Speaker 2>standard specific to trans people, in my opinion, is the

699
00:35:25.960 --> 00:35:29.840
<v Speaker 2>expectation to pass or look exactly like CIS people. It

700
00:35:29.960 --> 00:35:34.239
<v Speaker 2>ranges from easy to impossible to achieve. But even if

701
00:35:34.239 --> 00:35:37.400
<v Speaker 2>it's easy, I wish it wasn't necessary. A lot of

702
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:39.679
<v Speaker 2>trans women have facial hair that they wish wasn't there,

703
00:35:39.800 --> 00:35:42.559
<v Speaker 2>and it makes a big quality of life improvement when

704
00:35:42.599 --> 00:35:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I get rid of it. One thing I can comment

705
00:35:45.079 --> 00:35:49.320
<v Speaker 2>on from personal is the terrible expectation for women to

706
00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:52.400
<v Speaker 2>be underweight. Being seen as a guy has been a

707
00:35:52.480 --> 00:35:56.079
<v Speaker 2>huge relief, not just for my dysphoria, but also being

708
00:35:56.199 --> 00:35:59.360
<v Speaker 2>allowed to be bigger. Jake says that they struggled with

709
00:35:59.400 --> 00:36:01.840
<v Speaker 2>diets a kid, and went on to say, there are

710
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:05.239
<v Speaker 2>many people involved in creating and marketing these diets that

711
00:36:05.280 --> 00:36:08.159
<v Speaker 2>have destroyed my life and health and the lives of

712
00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:10.960
<v Speaker 2>tons of other people. And that's my main beef with

713
00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:14.119
<v Speaker 2>the beauty industry. It's hurting people. I love the art side,

714
00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:18.000
<v Speaker 2>but the dark side is much larger and way more profitable.

715
00:36:18.599 --> 00:36:21.440
<v Speaker 2>Anonymous wrote in and said, Hey, Okay, so I guess

716
00:36:21.480 --> 00:36:22.800
<v Speaker 2>my main thing I want to say is that I'm

717
00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:26.119
<v Speaker 2>a trans masculine Korean person adopted by white people. My

718
00:36:26.199 --> 00:36:30.440
<v Speaker 2>identity is complicated, to say the least, and Western culture

719
00:36:30.519 --> 00:36:34.679
<v Speaker 2>definitely feminizes Asian men. The examples of Asian men considered

720
00:36:34.679 --> 00:36:37.639
<v Speaker 2>attractive that I see in media are like K pop stars.

721
00:36:38.079 --> 00:36:41.320
<v Speaker 2>As an Asian person assigned female at birth, it often

722
00:36:41.360 --> 00:36:44.719
<v Speaker 2>feels hopeless. It's really hard thing to navigate as I'm

723
00:36:44.760 --> 00:36:47.320
<v Speaker 2>trying to present myself in a masculine way. I guess

724
00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:50.159
<v Speaker 2>that's all I have to say. Cheers, cheers back at you,

725
00:36:50.440 --> 00:36:53.920
<v Speaker 2>and thank you for emailing me from your vacation. Anna

726
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:56.519
<v Speaker 2>also wrote in and said a bit about me. I'm

727
00:36:56.519 --> 00:36:58.840
<v Speaker 2>a full time trans woman. I'm married to assists woman

728
00:36:58.880 --> 00:37:01.920
<v Speaker 2>who's simply the great. I've been on hormone therapy for

729
00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:04.639
<v Speaker 2>about six months now. I don't pass as female on

730
00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:07.360
<v Speaker 2>any day really, but I do what I can. Beauty

731
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:10.559
<v Speaker 2>standards is a tricky one for me. They're very intertwined

732
00:37:10.599 --> 00:37:14.199
<v Speaker 2>with my transition and self perception. They are all at

733
00:37:14.239 --> 00:37:17.480
<v Speaker 2>once positive and negative. I spend a lot of time

734
00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:20.960
<v Speaker 2>occupied with beauty standards, sometimes painfully, so I'm always comparing

735
00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:24.039
<v Speaker 2>my face and body to CIS gendered women, seeing how

736
00:37:24.079 --> 00:37:27.400
<v Speaker 2>I size up to conventional female beauty. I will get

737
00:37:27.400 --> 00:37:29.800
<v Speaker 2>made up when I'm alone because I feel more feminine

738
00:37:29.880 --> 00:37:32.119
<v Speaker 2>and happier when I see myself in the mirror. I

739
00:37:32.119 --> 00:37:34.719
<v Speaker 2>also wish it was more accepted for CIS men to

740
00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:38.079
<v Speaker 2>wear makeup and just generally for people to be who they.

741
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:38.280
<v Speaker 4>Want to be.

742
00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:41.760
<v Speaker 2>I really think now and historically, the trands in the

743
00:37:41.800 --> 00:37:47.199
<v Speaker 2>queer community has opened doors for CIS gendered and heteropeople

744
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:51.400
<v Speaker 2>to say, is this stereotype of what I'm supposed to

745
00:37:51.400 --> 00:37:53.079
<v Speaker 2>look like or what I'm supposed to behave like?

746
00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:55.159
<v Speaker 3>Is it really fitting well for me?

747
00:37:55.559 --> 00:37:58.000
<v Speaker 2>And so I just want to say a big thanks

748
00:37:58.039 --> 00:38:03.199
<v Speaker 2>to an LGTBQ plus community for opening those doors. I

749
00:38:03.239 --> 00:38:06.000
<v Speaker 2>heard from Corey who says I'm a white, asexual, a

750
00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:08.280
<v Speaker 2>romantic CIS woman in my thirties, and I've never really

751
00:38:08.280 --> 00:38:10.480
<v Speaker 2>cared about makeup. I do wish that makeup and hair

752
00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:12.920
<v Speaker 2>weren't so gendered. I feel like I'm not always taken

753
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:15.719
<v Speaker 2>seriously in business environments because I don't wear makeup, a

754
00:38:15.800 --> 00:38:18.400
<v Speaker 2>hair isn't done. A beauty regime is something you do

755
00:38:18.519 --> 00:38:22.360
<v Speaker 2>for yourself, So mind your own business, everyone. An anonymous

756
00:38:22.360 --> 00:38:23.960
<v Speaker 2>woman also wrote in and said it for a long time,

757
00:38:24.039 --> 00:38:26.199
<v Speaker 2>I was questioning whether or not to describe myself as

758
00:38:26.239 --> 00:38:28.920
<v Speaker 2>a sexual or ace. The people I did talk to

759
00:38:29.000 --> 00:38:31.400
<v Speaker 2>about being a sexual often told me that I couldn't

760
00:38:31.400 --> 00:38:34.039
<v Speaker 2>make that decision because I'm a plus sized woman and

761
00:38:34.079 --> 00:38:37.639
<v Speaker 2>thus men weren't interested in me. My sexuality apparently had

762
00:38:37.639 --> 00:38:40.519
<v Speaker 2>to be tied to how beautiful and attractive other people

763
00:38:40.559 --> 00:38:43.480
<v Speaker 2>found me. The thing is, being a sexual is about

764
00:38:43.599 --> 00:38:46.400
<v Speaker 2>the amount of sexual attraction and or desire you feel

765
00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:49.760
<v Speaker 2>and experience. It is distinctly not about the amount of

766
00:38:49.800 --> 00:38:54.079
<v Speaker 2>sexual attraction or desire other people feel or experience towards you.

767
00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:57.159
<v Speaker 2>That takes away my agency over my own body, takes

768
00:38:57.159 --> 00:38:59.960
<v Speaker 2>away the idea that women are sexual beings without men around,

769
00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:04.519
<v Speaker 2>and disregards that plus size women experience attraction and desire

770
00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:08.679
<v Speaker 2>and are in good relationships. It's pretty offensive, very good point.

771
00:39:09.119 --> 00:39:12.360
<v Speaker 2>Those people suck. Wesley, who signs himself as a baby

772
00:39:12.400 --> 00:39:15.239
<v Speaker 2>Lawyer to Be, says, I'm assist male who's recently lost

773
00:39:15.239 --> 00:39:17.519
<v Speaker 2>some weight. I'm twenty three, I'm young, however, I have

774
00:39:17.599 --> 00:39:20.280
<v Speaker 2>some stretch marks. Stretch marks are something that I feel

775
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:23.159
<v Speaker 2>gay men hide a lot. A bunch of us have them,

776
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:26.400
<v Speaker 2>but no one talks about them or shows them. So Wesley,

777
00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:28.800
<v Speaker 2>Baby Lawyer to Be, where you talk about them the

778
00:39:28.880 --> 00:39:30.559
<v Speaker 2>less people don't talk about them.

779
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:32.800
<v Speaker 3>Does that make sense? Yeah, so way to go.

780
00:39:33.840 --> 00:39:36.440
<v Speaker 2>I really loved reading all of your letters, and I'm

781
00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:39.280
<v Speaker 2>really glad that I put out this episode because giving

782
00:39:39.480 --> 00:39:42.000
<v Speaker 2>voice to all of your thoughts and your different perspectives

783
00:39:42.239 --> 00:39:45.639
<v Speaker 2>is so important to understanding that our specific insecurities might

784
00:39:45.679 --> 00:39:48.519
<v Speaker 2>be different, but they all affect us in really the

785
00:39:48.599 --> 00:39:51.159
<v Speaker 2>same way. We all question whether or not we're good enough.

786
00:39:51.400 --> 00:39:54.440
<v Speaker 2>If you listen to the Froology episode Mary Poff and Roth,

787
00:39:54.519 --> 00:39:56.760
<v Speaker 2>that was like one of her big tenants is we

788
00:39:56.960 --> 00:39:59.000
<v Speaker 2>just worry we're not good enough, and that's what bees

789
00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:02.239
<v Speaker 2>beauty standards to to us. And I really also just

790
00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:06.920
<v Speaker 2>want to put my things out to the LGPDQ plus community.

791
00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:09.159
<v Speaker 2>I said this in the Gynecology episode, but y'all are

792
00:40:09.159 --> 00:40:12.119
<v Speaker 2>on the front lines in terms of changing the way

793
00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:15.800
<v Speaker 2>we look at super binary gender norms. I think those

794
00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:19.000
<v Speaker 2>hurt us a lot, and not only can we all

795
00:40:19.119 --> 00:40:23.800
<v Speaker 2>learn about being who we truly are in accepting yourselves,

796
00:40:23.920 --> 00:40:27.719
<v Speaker 2>you're also helping other people accept themselves. So thank you

797
00:40:27.760 --> 00:40:29.800
<v Speaker 2>for that. One of the last emails I'll read is

798
00:40:29.880 --> 00:40:32.320
<v Speaker 2>from a white CIS woman named Melissa, who says, I

799
00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:33.840
<v Speaker 2>wanted to tell you about what happened when I started

800
00:40:33.880 --> 00:40:35.639
<v Speaker 2>watching RuPaul's Drag Race with my kids.

801
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:36.800
<v Speaker 3>It was my birthday.

802
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:38.559
<v Speaker 2>I really wanted to watch it, so I let my

803
00:40:38.639 --> 00:40:40.960
<v Speaker 2>kids watch along with me, even knowing there would be

804
00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:43.760
<v Speaker 2>a lot of swearing. This first episode and the rest

805
00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:46.320
<v Speaker 2>of the season that we watched together sparked some really

806
00:40:46.360 --> 00:40:52.320
<v Speaker 2>important and interesting conversations about beauty, appearance, gender sexuality. When

807
00:40:52.320 --> 00:40:54.840
<v Speaker 2>we watched Drag Queens Get dulled Up, we had a

808
00:40:54.840 --> 00:40:58.559
<v Speaker 2>conversation about how boys and girls don't have to follow rules,

809
00:40:58.599 --> 00:41:01.679
<v Speaker 2>about how people think they should should dress or behave.

810
00:41:01.920 --> 00:41:03.920
<v Speaker 2>When we saw the drag Queens put on makeup, we

811
00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:05.559
<v Speaker 2>talked about how makeup can be a way to have

812
00:41:05.639 --> 00:41:09.239
<v Speaker 2>fun and express our unique personalities. When we listen to

813
00:41:09.280 --> 00:41:12.519
<v Speaker 2>the drag Queens talk about their sexuality and rejection from

814
00:41:12.559 --> 00:41:16.480
<v Speaker 2>their families, it started a great conversation about accepting people

815
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:19.519
<v Speaker 2>and themselves no matter who they choose to love. And

816
00:41:19.559 --> 00:41:21.840
<v Speaker 2>within a few weeks of watching these episodes, my son

817
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:25.159
<v Speaker 2>decided to dress up as Ruth Bader Ginsberg for a

818
00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:28.320
<v Speaker 2>class presentation on his hero My daughter signed up to

819
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:31.119
<v Speaker 2>be the only girl on her tea ball team and

820
00:41:31.199 --> 00:41:34.880
<v Speaker 2>now proudly proclaims that blue is her favorite color. While

821
00:41:34.920 --> 00:41:37.719
<v Speaker 2>I can't prove it, I suspect that their choices were

822
00:41:37.760 --> 00:41:40.599
<v Speaker 2>due in large part to Drag Race and the conversations

823
00:41:40.639 --> 00:41:44.440
<v Speaker 2>that it prompted. And of course I'm attaching pictures. She

824
00:41:44.519 --> 00:41:48.719
<v Speaker 2>attached pictures of her son dressed as Ruth bader Ginsberg

825
00:41:48.960 --> 00:41:50.920
<v Speaker 2>and her daughter on a t ball team, And I'm

826
00:41:51.480 --> 00:41:54.440
<v Speaker 2>literally crying right now, And she says, ps, I told

827
00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:56.840
<v Speaker 2>my kids about slug penises today and they laugh their

828
00:41:56.840 --> 00:42:01.360
<v Speaker 2>asses off. Alissa, cool mom, dude. In closing, I wanted

829
00:42:01.400 --> 00:42:03.920
<v Speaker 2>to read an email from a listener named Terra Schill,

830
00:42:04.239 --> 00:42:06.679
<v Speaker 2>who had written me one email about her conflicts with

831
00:42:06.719 --> 00:42:09.920
<v Speaker 2>beauty culture, and then sent a follow up email called

832
00:42:09.960 --> 00:42:12.920
<v Speaker 2>Beauty Thoughts Part Two. I realized that I forgot to

833
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:19.559
<v Speaker 2>mention to you what I find beautiful, she says, The Earth, wild, animals, nature,

834
00:42:20.039 --> 00:42:24.119
<v Speaker 2>David Attenborough, my crush for life, love on others, the

835
00:42:24.159 --> 00:42:30.960
<v Speaker 2>eyes of everything, living whales, lions, elephants, rhinos, frogs, Spiders

836
00:42:31.000 --> 00:42:32.280
<v Speaker 2>are a phenomenal creature.

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<v Speaker 3>Birds.

838
00:42:33.639 --> 00:42:36.000
<v Speaker 2>I want to be a bald eagle in my string theory,

839
00:42:36.119 --> 00:42:42.000
<v Speaker 2>universe trees are freaking amazingly beautiful. Innocence, freedom is awesome

840
00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:45.320
<v Speaker 2>and beautiful. The Hubble Telescope and the pictures we make

841
00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:48.880
<v Speaker 2>with it, pictures of the Earth are so beautiful it hurts.

842
00:42:49.559 --> 00:42:54.519
<v Speaker 2>Camping is beautifully gross in temporary spurts. People who are kind.

843
00:42:55.280 --> 00:43:00.639
<v Speaker 2>Science can be beauty. DNA is freakishly gorgeous. Podcast is

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00:43:00.679 --> 00:43:03.920
<v Speaker 2>beautiful because if you and your guests have a beautiful day.

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00:43:04.119 --> 00:43:09.039
<v Speaker 2>Thanks for asking us beautiful fans questions. Thank you listeners

846
00:43:09.400 --> 00:43:11.960
<v Speaker 2>for answering them. My aim with this is to really

847
00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:15.599
<v Speaker 2>make everyone feel seen and heard and included. So if

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00:43:15.599 --> 00:43:18.679
<v Speaker 2>I said anything in language that was wrong. Please let

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00:43:18.679 --> 00:43:19.599
<v Speaker 2>me know because I want.

850
00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:19.960
<v Speaker 4>To do better.

851
00:43:20.119 --> 00:43:23.320
<v Speaker 2>But I hope I covered all the bases. And thank

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00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:25.760
<v Speaker 2>you guys for listening, Thank you for being so curious

853
00:43:26.159 --> 00:43:30.039
<v Speaker 2>and kind. I really love making this and I can't

854
00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:32.519
<v Speaker 2>tell you how much ologies has meant to me in

855
00:43:32.559 --> 00:43:34.880
<v Speaker 2>terms of learning about you guys, and learning about myself

856
00:43:34.920 --> 00:43:39.239
<v Speaker 2>and learning about the world. So go out and ask

857
00:43:39.320 --> 00:43:42.599
<v Speaker 2>smart people dumb questions, and make sure to appreciate the

858
00:43:42.639 --> 00:43:45.719
<v Speaker 2>body that you're in Because old Dad word von podcast,

859
00:43:45.840 --> 00:43:47.639
<v Speaker 2>Thanks it, dope as fuck.

860
00:43:48.920 --> 00:43:55.679
<v Speaker 4>Bye Bye pacadermatology, mombiology, r doo, zoology, lithology and technology,

861
00:43:56.519 --> 00:44:11.320
<v Speaker 4>meteorology and pathology, nathology.

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00:44:12.119 --> 00:44:15.360
<v Speaker 1>Imagine a place where you can escape for a day,

863
00:44:16.199 --> 00:44:20.719
<v Speaker 1>get immersed in a world of rooms, inspiration, and expertise,

864
00:44:21.280 --> 00:44:26.400
<v Speaker 1>where you can lay in luxury accommodation and kids can

865
00:44:26.480 --> 00:44:32.239
<v Speaker 1>feast from ninety five sets. Tickets are free to everyone

866
00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:37.480
<v Speaker 1>and include all the attractions you've just imagined. A day

867
00:44:37.639 --> 00:44:41.559
<v Speaker 1>out at the CAA, the care, the wonderful every day