Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast.
Speaker 2: This is spoil Me covering Dungeon Crawler Carl chapters six
Speaker 2: through twelve. I always sort of debate on whether to
Speaker 2: read any of the chapter titles or anything like that,
Speaker 2: and it always just kind of gives me like a
Speaker 2: warm glow when an author doesn't even bother giving titles
Speaker 2: to the chapters. I appreciate it personally. In this section,
Speaker 2: we made our first boss and it's like, so horrible.
Speaker 1: It's so much worse.
Speaker 2: In every sense than I was expecting. Welcome to spoil Me.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the show everyone. I am Natasha. Thank you
Speaker 2: very much to Michael for commissioning this episode. I don't
Speaker 2: see you here in the chat, Michael, but hopefully you
Speaker 2: will be able to join us. So, my friends, this
Speaker 2: you know, I'm going to jump right to talking about
Speaker 2: the boss. Okay, I will go back, I will look
Speaker 2: at other things, and we'll talk about stuff in the
Speaker 2: beginning of this section, I absolutely will. You know, there's
Speaker 2: a plenty of other good stuff. But here's here's something
Speaker 2: that I actually kind of had a like one of
Speaker 2: those moments where you feel unexpectedly a wash of profound
Speaker 2: relief because when we first.
Speaker 1: Meet this boss.
Speaker 2: It's just like the way that this woman her body
Speaker 2: is described because she's fat, is really awful. And you guys,
Speaker 2: I have talked about this on some other podcasts that
Speaker 2: I've done, and we don't completely escape this here, but
Speaker 2: there is a real tendency when you are making like
Speaker 2: villain characters and you make them fat to have whatever
Speaker 2: their magical boss ability is be dependent on something regarding
Speaker 2: their mouths or food or throwing up. Uh.
Speaker 1: It's just such a thing.
Speaker 2: There's like video games where the bad guy turns people
Speaker 2: into food and then he eats them, then he throws
Speaker 2: up bile and that burns you. There's another one where
Speaker 2: it's like an obese woman in a like one of
Speaker 2: those scooters, you know, and and she throws up on you,
Speaker 2: and it's just like, it's just so deeply offensive in
Speaker 2: so many ways. So when this villain is introduced, my
Speaker 2: very first reaction.
Speaker 1: Was, oh shit, okay, okay, I just gotta I just
Speaker 1: gotta get through this.
Speaker 2: And eventually bugs are coming out of her mouth and
Speaker 2: it's feeling like we're really on track.
Speaker 1: But then.
Speaker 2: Once you realize that this had been a real person,
Speaker 2: that this was being done to her, it humanized everything
Speaker 2: so immediately that I took it all back. And I
Speaker 2: am sure that there are other people who read this
Speaker 2: section and they would have the same hang ups about
Speaker 2: how fat people are depicted in media as I do,
Speaker 2: and they would not be able to let it go.
Speaker 2: They would feel still the same way they did to
Speaker 2: begin with. That's totally valid. We all draw the line
Speaker 2: in the sand about certain things in different places, and
Speaker 2: you know, there's just there's really no right or wrong
Speaker 2: way to react despite what a lot of people might think,
Speaker 2: as long as you have some awareness surrounding the issue.
Speaker 2: I think that's the important part. But I just appreciated that,
Speaker 2: like it felt the author was doing this thing, and
Speaker 2: then it went it like Jiggs left and it was like, no,
Speaker 2: the aliens are doing this gross thing to a fucking
Speaker 2: actual human being. And so what starts off as this
Speaker 2: really like grim dark humor seeming moment turns into like
Speaker 2: an actual scene from a horror movie. It's so awful,
Speaker 2: you guys. I Like there's a point later on where
Speaker 2: Carl thinks to himself how he couldn't understand anything she said,
Speaker 2: and he was glad because he had enough trouble sleeping
Speaker 2: at night, and I'm you know, I am sure plenty
Speaker 2: of you as well. As you're reading you can tell
Speaker 2: what she's saying and it's fucking heart wrenching. So anyway,
Speaker 2: I just wanted to get that out of the way.
Speaker 2: So let's start with chapter six. As Carl is going
Speaker 2: through his you know, all of his lute and whatnot.
Speaker 2: The Goblin past thing does indeed do what I was suspecting,
Speaker 2: but also it makes you look like you're with the goblins,
Speaker 2: which results in you getting more damaged done to you
Speaker 2: by creatures who don't like them. Enchanted night Gaunt Cloak
Speaker 2: of Stoutness plus four in a constitution resistant to poison
Speaker 2: and ice attacks, anti piercing, resistance to all armor. It
Speaker 2: also makes you look like a dollar store batman. If
Speaker 2: a night Gaunt spies you wearing this, they probably won't
Speaker 2: be too happy with you, which is interesting. And then
Speaker 2: Troll Skin shirt of Pummeling. The wearer gains plus seven
Speaker 2: to the regeneration skill. In addition, all melee based damage
Speaker 2: debuffs such as stun, knock back, disarm, and out of
Speaker 2: breath are negated. The shirt is also quite stylish. A
Speaker 2: lady troll might just want to haul you away for
Speaker 2: some one on one time if they see you in this.
Speaker 2: So Mordecai tells him for tanking, this is one of
Speaker 2: the best undergarments. A level seven regeneration skill means you're
Speaker 2: back to full health pretty quickly in as little as
Speaker 2: two minutes. That is something that would be in a
Speaker 2: platinum or legendary box. So he puts that on. And
Speaker 2: the toe ring also, which is uncomfortable, but it's a
Speaker 2: enchanted toe ring of the splatter skunk plus three strength
Speaker 2: plus three to skill powerful strike.
Speaker 1: So this like the the I was sort of hoping
Speaker 1: that the toe.
Speaker 2: Ring would maybe become like make his foot more durable,
Speaker 2: and I was a little disappointed that it seems like
Speaker 2: his foot is just as prone to being hurt as
Speaker 2: it ever would be. I think later he he might
Speaker 2: step on glass at some point. So, yeah, wish that
Speaker 2: there was something more to that, but what can you do.
Speaker 2: So he fiddles around with skills, and as he's doing this,
Speaker 2: he hears a voice, Really, Carl, if you're going to
Speaker 2: insist on wearing that hideous cloak, you might want to
Speaker 2: do yourself the dignity of putting pants on first. I
Speaker 2: just can't fathom why Miss Beatrice hired you in the
Speaker 2: first place. And it's donut and she can talk. I
Speaker 2: really really loved that she doesn't transform into a person,
Speaker 2: because I kind of thought that might be what we
Speaker 2: were getting.
Speaker 1: It's great that she's still a cat.
Speaker 2: I was hoping that there might be something involving communication,
Speaker 2: but I thought maybe it would be mental. I didn't
Speaker 2: think that she would speak out loud that everybody would
Speaker 2: be able to hear her, but honestly, that would make
Speaker 2: for much less interesting TV. So I had to focus
Speaker 2: on what they would want to film. And yeah, she
Speaker 2: she the stats, you guys, strength eleven, intelligence eleven, constitution
Speaker 2: two dexterity eight, charisma twenty five. You should have heard
Speaker 2: the snort that I let out when I was listening
Speaker 2: to this audiobook and he said charisma twenty five.
Speaker 1: I lost my mind for a second. I had to
Speaker 1: pause it. There was just.
Speaker 2: Something like, I genuinely didn't know we could go that high.
Speaker 2: He was so low on the scale for everything that
Speaker 2: I assumed that this was a out of five metric.
Speaker 2: So finding out that there's double digits and shit, and
Speaker 2: then she's like in the twenties, amazing and Mordecai is like, ah,
Speaker 2: now I have to start that tutorial over because she's
Speaker 2: like a regular crawler. And she's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I heard everything you said to my manservant. So this
Speaker 2: is all stuff that I think, like you know, is
Speaker 2: very tropy that we have seen before.
Speaker 1: The animal that views.
Speaker 2: The person who cares for it as their servant, and
Speaker 2: they think a whole lot of themselves and you guys,
Speaker 2: she gets tomb of the Magic Missile and then the
Speaker 2: legendary box enchanted crown of the Sepsis Whore. This is
Speaker 2: a fleeting item. This is a unique asterisk item in
Speaker 2: viuswear with plus five intelligence plus five to the good
Speaker 2: first Impression skill. All attacks, including magical have a fifteen
Speaker 2: percent chance to inflict the Sepsis d buff warning. And
Speaker 2: this is supposed to be something you read before you
Speaker 2: put it on, but she saw that it was a
Speaker 2: crown and put it on instantly. As I understand personally,
Speaker 2: I might also be tempted to do. Placing this crown
Speaker 2: upon your head permanently places you within the royal line
Speaker 2: of succession for the Blood Sultanate on the ninth floor
Speaker 2: of the World Dungeon, removing this item will not remove
Speaker 2: this status. Royal members of the Blood Sultanate will be
Speaker 2: required to slay the Salt and all other members of
Speaker 2: the Royal family before ascending descending to the tenth floor.
Speaker 2: You'll only want to wear this if you're a bloodthirsty,
Speaker 2: raging psychopath.
Speaker 1: So I don't know.
Speaker 2: Plus five intelligence, plus five to good first impression and
Speaker 2: fifteen to sepsist debuff, and in exchange, that becomes your
Speaker 2: new like side quest.
Speaker 1: Is it just mirror? Does that not feel like that
Speaker 1: pays off nearly enough to put it on? It's like cool.
Speaker 2: I don't know, Maybe I'm just underestimating what those stat
Speaker 2: amplifiers like, how good they really are, But it just
Speaker 2: seems to me that item doesn't feel like something I
Speaker 2: would see like most people encouraging players to use if
Speaker 2: we were in a video game, you know, I feel
Speaker 2: like most people would be sort of like, this isn't
Speaker 2: why would I ever do this, you know, unless you
Speaker 2: were playing one of those like, you know, some people
Speaker 2: enjoy doing a game where they're a bad guy and
Speaker 2: they just fucking kill everybody. But anyway, Princess Donut has
Speaker 2: named your party the Royal Court of Princess Donut. Princess
Speaker 2: Donut has changed your title to Royal Bodyguard. Princess Donut
Speaker 2: has changed her title to Grand Champion Best in Jungeon.
Speaker 2: She have the highest combined stat total, so she's a
Speaker 2: designated party leader. As such, she has more control over
Speaker 2: the party than you. Don't worry, the titles don't mean anything.
Speaker 2: Listen up, kids, She's quite a bit more powerful than
Speaker 2: you are right now. So you'll want to stick together
Speaker 2: at least until you get to the ninth floor. That
Speaker 2: will be a challenge. You can always leave the party.
Speaker 2: That crown is on her head, not yours.
Speaker 1: So this is when they.
Speaker 2: Set out, and Mordecai is like a by the way
Speaker 2: other training guilds. You're always going to be coming back here.
Speaker 2: I'm your guide now, so you know anytime you're just
Speaker 2: gonna run into me, you'll lose access to me once
Speaker 2: you hit the fourth floor. Good luck out in the
Speaker 2: universe once this is over. Mordechai looked at me sadly. Yeah,
Speaker 2: good luck to you too. He grasped a jacket and
Speaker 2: met my eyes and then whispered, It's not worth it,
Speaker 2: no matter what they tell you. Not until floor twelve,
Speaker 2: and even then negotiate as much as you can. Remember
Speaker 2: that he slammed the door, and my mind reeled. What
Speaker 2: did that mean? Was he saying it was better to
Speaker 2: die than to take whatever exit they offered on floors
Speaker 2: ten and eleven? Did that even matter floor ten? Who
Speaker 2: was Mordecai kidding? Three million people had died in this
Speaker 2: place in the very first hour. I wasn't expecting to
Speaker 2: survive until the next floor opened up. So I really
Speaker 2: took this to mean, like the way that Mordechai is
Speaker 2: looking at him, and the sadness this moment of having
Speaker 2: helped a person, getting to know them just enough to
Speaker 2: maybe like them a little bit, and then sending them
Speaker 2: out there and knowing full well that you may not
Speaker 2: see them again, and this being your job that you
Speaker 2: do all the time, probably fucking wears on your soul.
Speaker 2: And I don't know exactly how the contract works, the
Speaker 2: agreement that he made, but it occurred to me that
Speaker 2: I don't really know how time works in this universe
Speaker 2: with the aliens involved. And it may be when he said, like,
Speaker 2: my world isn't open to me anymore, that it's just
Speaker 2: gone because so much time has passed that it's been
Speaker 2: like stripped and the planet is essentially not like they're anymore,
Speaker 2: or maybe enough time has passed that it's just changed
Speaker 2: so fundamentally, you know. But it just really kind of
Speaker 2: once I stopped and considered how little I knew about
Speaker 2: so many different factors, I realized that, like, this could
Speaker 2: be such a terrible deal if you don't look at
Speaker 2: the fine print and find out yourself how things work
Speaker 2: with the aliens, because you know, they're gonna say a
Speaker 2: thing and we're gonna probably take a lot of things
Speaker 2: at face value for the way they work for us
Speaker 2: as humans from planet.
Speaker 1: Earth, and then if it's not that way, they can
Speaker 1: just be like, well, we never said that.
Speaker 2: You just assumed that, which is valid that you know,
Speaker 2: it's like making a deal with a fay. So my
Speaker 2: concern is like a combination of just these contracts taking
Speaker 2: place over much longer periods than I had previously considered,
Speaker 2: and also potentially that they are trick contracts that it's
Speaker 2: like you almost can't get out of at all once
Speaker 2: you've on the papers. But I don't know, it's just
Speaker 2: like for me, it really felt in that moment that
Speaker 2: he was looking at Carl as they were leaving really
Speaker 2: kind of like I just don't know, man, if I'm
Speaker 2: going to see you again, and saying like it's.
Speaker 1: Not worth it.
Speaker 2: I think he is sort of showing a little bit
Speaker 2: of what's optimism, I guess by being like, I think
Speaker 2: you will probably get that far. But I am very,
Speaker 2: very eager to find out what it is that Carl
Speaker 2: gets offered as he gets further on, because that is
Speaker 2: always something that I find really fun when somebody is
Speaker 2: tempted with an offer and there really isn't a right
Speaker 2: answer to the offer, and it's just about like what
Speaker 2: your priorities are versus what theirs are, or if you
Speaker 2: have like more anxiety about things going a certain way
Speaker 2: than another way, and it can be very fun to
Speaker 2: sort of debate what to choose. So I'm really really
Speaker 2: interested in that. So they have twenty nine hours before
Speaker 2: the television show begins, and Donut is like, we really
Speaker 2: need to do something amazing, but the first thing we
Speaker 2: need to do is get you pants, and Carl points
Speaker 2: out she isn't wearing pants either, and she says, nor
Speaker 2: am I wearing a cloak that makes me look like
Speaker 2: I want a participation trophy at the Special needs Comic
Speaker 2: con Carl, we could just not do the ableism.
Speaker 1: We could just not do it.
Speaker 2: That'd be cool if we just cut that, make that
Speaker 2: anything else. You know, you could make it like a
Speaker 2: participation trophy in a fifth grade costume contest, you know,
Speaker 2: something to indicate. But let's just not That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2: It's surprising to me that line is under line so
Speaker 2: many times, and yet I guess it's not surprising.
Speaker 1: Sigh.
Speaker 2: So at this point, she's being so pushy and domineering
Speaker 2: with him that finally Carl is like, you know what, bye,
Speaker 2: good luck, and she's genuinely, I think, like, doesn't even
Speaker 2: get what he means. And finally he's like, look, I
Speaker 2: think you're probably going to be okay.
Speaker 1: You've got a lot going for you. But if I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get killed, then I'll just get it over with.
Speaker 2: Most of the time we put up with the fact
Speaker 2: that cats her assholes because we can't hear every fucking.
Speaker 1: Thing you say.
Speaker 2: But I can, and it's not worth it. Thank you, no,
Speaker 2: thank you, And she actually apologizes. Have you ever woken
Speaker 2: up from a long dream one where you're one thing,
Speaker 2: and now that you're awake, it takes you a moment
Speaker 2: to realize that's not who you really are. Which personally, yes,
Speaker 2: I have the most intense, realistic dreams, and I wake
Speaker 2: up disoriented frequently. I do not recommend it. Also, depending
Speaker 2: on the dream, it doesn't even feel like you got rest,
Speaker 2: because it feels like.
Speaker 1: You were awake all night.
Speaker 2: When I woke up back there, I had all my
Speaker 2: memories of all my time being me, of sitting in
Speaker 2: that window looking outside, watching television, all the hours, and
Speaker 2: the carrier, and then suddenly my mind looked back on
Speaker 2: all of it and I understood what had happened. I
Speaker 2: am a grand champion, I'm supposed to act a certain way.
Speaker 2: But sitting in your lap watching you get fragged over
Speaker 2: and over in Call of.
Speaker 1: Duty, I like that too.
Speaker 2: I mean, you really suck at that game, but you
Speaker 2: keep playing. I didn't realize it at the time, but
Speaker 2: I liked that. So what are you saying that you're
Speaker 2: not a crazy, stuck up asshole princess. Oh I am
Speaker 2: a princess, Carl, But I'll try not to be too
Speaker 2: much of an asshole. And I need you and you
Speaker 2: need me. Okay, Look, I'm really scared here. I don't
Speaker 2: want to be alone, and I know you and you
Speaker 2: don't want to be alone either. I saw you the
Speaker 2: other day looking at the map on your computer and
Speaker 2: then those apartments on Craigslist. What do you mean, I asked,
Speaker 2: but I knew exactly what she meant. There was that
Speaker 2: day when the passes were clear. You could have taken
Speaker 2: me back to Miss Beatrice's parents, but you didn't want to.
Speaker 2: You were looking at apartments, making sure they allowed cats.
Speaker 2: You were thinking about catnapping me. I just looked at her.
Speaker 2: It's exactly what I had been doing, but I hadn't
Speaker 2: even admitted it to myself. When she says there was
Speaker 2: that day when the passes were clear, I don't know
Speaker 2: what she means by that. I think maybe it was
Speaker 2: like the weather had been preventing him. He had been
Speaker 2: using the fact that he was snowed in or something
Speaker 2: like that. Yeah, but anyway, Yeah, so.
Speaker 1: I love this.
Speaker 2: The fact that he was even considering it is delightful.
Speaker 2: It wouldn't have worked, by the way. Her dad would
Speaker 2: have got me back right away, I sighed, that was
Speaker 2: true too. Bee's dad was a lawyer out of Yakima, okay.
Speaker 1: I said, let's keep moving.
Speaker 2: And it's interesting because he asks her why didn't why
Speaker 2: did she jump out the window when she did, and
Speaker 2: they get interrupted. So I think this adds fuel to
Speaker 2: my theory that she felt something was wrong and jumped
Speaker 2: out there purposely. I feel like we're getting this interruption
Speaker 2: because there's a real answer and we don't get to
Speaker 2: have it yet. But I'm pretty sure we're going to
Speaker 2: find out about something with this later. And there's this
Speaker 2: thlumping sound. Two bolts shot out of donuts eyes, one
Speaker 2: after the other. They were like laser blasts from a
Speaker 2: sci fi movie. I was so surprised that I almost
Speaker 2: fell backward. Instead, I just stumbled a little. I remembered
Speaker 2: that she had that magic missile spell. I adore that
Speaker 2: she fires laser beams from her eyes. Fantastic, perfect, No
Speaker 2: notes it does like require a cool down period though,
Speaker 2: So there is a point later where she is pressed
Speaker 2: and they have to wait for it to recharge.
Speaker 1: So then we get the bad Lama. I cracked up.
Speaker 2: Look, guys, I said before, not all the jokes are
Speaker 2: gonna be winners. Writing comedy is hard, but more than not,
Speaker 2: they are working for me so far, And I think
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what I'm not trying to take anything
Speaker 2: from the author at all, but I really do want
Speaker 2: to give a lot of the credit to how well
Speaker 2: the jokes land, to the audiobook narrator and whoever produced
Speaker 2: the audiobook the way that they make it interesting by
Speaker 2: changing up the voices of the AI that he is
Speaker 2: interacting with the timing of the way the lines are read,
Speaker 2: which is crucial. So it's just a really perfect combination
Speaker 2: that makes jokes that I think if I just read
Speaker 2: this joke, it wouldn't It's not that it wouldn't be funny,
Speaker 2: but I just feel like I am getting a lot
Speaker 2: more out of this listening than I would just reading it.
Speaker 2: It just feels more cinematic because of the way it's produced.
Speaker 2: So so I uh, because I'm going to mention this
Speaker 2: in the discord as well, but I'm sorry, I can't
Speaker 2: remember who it was, but somebody was saying that people
Speaker 2: should listen to the audiobook, and another person was saying,
Speaker 2: I don't think I would want to sit through hearing
Speaker 2: all of the loot drop stuff. That's some of the
Speaker 2: best stuff. The audiobook is done in such a way
Speaker 2: that those parts are really entertaining, So I feel like
Speaker 2: give it a chance and see how you feel about it,
Speaker 2: because I could see why you would think that, and
Speaker 2: I might also if I hadn't listened before I started
Speaker 2: doing the text. And I just think, as much as possible,
Speaker 2: I'm just going to do audiobook for this because some
Speaker 2: books I have to mix it up a little bit.
Speaker 2: I have to go back and forth, and you know,
Speaker 2: depending on what the subject matter is, it's easier for
Speaker 2: me to absorb in text.
Speaker 1: But this is something that.
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking really really benefits from the sound design
Speaker 2: and the narrator. So bad Lama level three. It's a lama,
Speaker 2: but it's bad. If he were human, he'd be covered
Speaker 2: in prison tattoos and would be hanging out in front
Speaker 2: of the circle k hitting on fourteen year old girls.
Speaker 2: They might be willing to sell you something. If you
Speaker 2: have good stuff to trade, you won't want to get
Speaker 2: hit by their spit. And eventually, when they kill the lama,
Speaker 2: he drops a bag of trailer park a grade meth.
Speaker 1: Sorry two bags. He doesn't does he add them? Does
Speaker 1: he take the math?
Speaker 2: No? Yes he does, because he gets food items and
Speaker 2: pharmaceuticals added to his menu. I do enjoy that it's pharmaceuticals.
Speaker 2: But yeah, this fight, I mean, the lama isn't impossible.
Speaker 2: It's just shocking. I think, you know, I felt bones crunch.
Speaker 2: My left hand exploded in pain, and I didn't know
Speaker 2: if the crunching bones were in the lama's face, in
Speaker 2: my hand or both.
Speaker 1: Probably both.
Speaker 2: And it the spit that it shoots is lava. The
Speaker 2: creature dropped like a sack of hammers. It tried to
Speaker 2: cry out, but nothing but gurgling came out.
Speaker 1: You guys, I don't know if I could punch a lama.
Speaker 1: I don't know, guys.
Speaker 2: It really depends making some of these baddies animals. That
Speaker 2: might be the death of me. That might be where
Speaker 2: I die, you know, I don't know. So because Donut
Speaker 2: det seventy one percent of the damage, she gets the
Speaker 2: first pick of loot. Poor lama. Skin uncooked lama steaks
Speaker 2: bag of trailer park grade meth, and he takes the
Speaker 2: steaks of the meth. I had a couple new achievements,
Speaker 2: one for looting a corpse and one for sharing experience.
Speaker 2: I received a pair of Bronze Adventurer boxes. That was
Speaker 2: no good, sloppy.
Speaker 1: You can't be.
Speaker 2: Injuring yourself every time you get into a minor tussle.
Speaker 2: Minor tussle. We need to be more cautious. We can't
Speaker 2: just blindly stumble around. No, we need to level up,
Speaker 2: and we need to do it quickly. I'm starting to
Speaker 2: think this main road is not the best choice for
Speaker 2: traveling or fighting. So eventually they get off of the
Speaker 2: main road and there's like sounds that he can hear,
Speaker 2: but he never actually runs into anyone, which I think
Speaker 2: makes sense because earlier Mordecai tells them that the map
Speaker 2: isn't connected to every other place in the world, so
Speaker 2: it's not like you can run into somebody who's from
Speaker 2: the other hemisphere just if you walk far enough, because
Speaker 2: it doesn't work that way. So I'm assuming that because
Speaker 2: it was so cold and there were so few people outside,
Speaker 2: that is why this place has like such a thin
Speaker 2: n number of human beings. But maybe not, maybe just
Speaker 2: like more people just opt not to go in at all.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: The bathrooms, he eventually figures out every time you open
Speaker 2: the door, it's the same bathroom and it doesn't matter,
Speaker 2: So that's kind of fun. When Donut opens it, she
Speaker 2: finds a litter box, so she runs in there and
Speaker 2: we find out, like, let's see, what I really needed
Speaker 2: to do was sleep. The toilet thing and the fact
Speaker 2: that when she opens it something different is in there
Speaker 2: delights me a lot.
Speaker 1: So then we get level two. Rats.
Speaker 2: The cat was definitely making an effort to be less abrasive,
Speaker 2: but she was still a cat. She had a reckless
Speaker 2: streak and a quick mouth, often making quips before realizing
Speaker 2: what she'd said. But she was also showing very cat
Speaker 2: like signs of affection too. One time I leaned up
Speaker 2: against a wall to rest, and she spent the time
Speaker 2: purring and rubbing up against my legs. I looked down
Speaker 2: at her, and she returned my gaze.
Speaker 1: What she said. I thought that was adorable.
Speaker 2: So I hit three levels and gained a skill called
Speaker 2: foot Soldier and a second one called Smush. Foot Soldier
Speaker 2: increased damage I dealt by kicking smush. You, guys, when
Speaker 2: I talk about the audiobook narrator, this is this is
Speaker 2: not an easy thing to pull off, My friends.
Speaker 1: I'm debating if I even want to attempt it. Smush
Speaker 1: skill level three, killing with your feet, your bare, beautiful feet.
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't. It goes on and on.
Speaker 2: I remembered the weird message I'd received before when I
Speaker 2: jumped in on the Goblin Engineer. I thought it was
Speaker 2: just to throw away joke, like most of the descriptions,
Speaker 2: but it seemed the AI or whatever it was, really
Speaker 2: did have some sort of foot fetish.
Speaker 1: It was fucking weird. I guess we're not getting you shoes.
Speaker 2: Dona said, yes, we are. It sounds to me like
Speaker 2: the computer fancies you or your feet. At least we'll
Speaker 2: need to take advantage of that. If a system likes us,
Speaker 2: then maybe it'll go easier on us. It makes me uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: I said, being eaten by a bugbear makes me uncomfortable. Carl,
Speaker 2: So if your boyfriend goggling your tootsies keeps these easy
Speaker 2: ps bugs coming at us instead of more of those
Speaker 2: lava spinning lamas, then you better buck up, get over
Speaker 2: your human male privilege and take one for your princess.
Speaker 2: I loved it, like there's so many times where women
Speaker 2: are told to just deal with a guy being a
Speaker 2: fucking creep, and it was very, very nice to see
Speaker 2: a guy you have to deal with that. You know
Speaker 2: is you all don't know how much we are trained
Speaker 2: to ignore throughout our lives. It's like there's always moments
Speaker 2: of why didn't you say something when a guy was
Speaker 2: being a fucking creep? But the thing is, if we
Speaker 2: said something every time anybody was a creep to us, like,
Speaker 2: we would never get anything done. It just like it
Speaker 2: starts to just kind of roll off you in a
Speaker 2: way that's not healthy because you just expect everybody to
Speaker 2: be this way, you know. So that's one of the
Speaker 2: nice things. Like even though getting older, gaining weight, and
Speaker 2: just like aging in general sucks in many ways, I
Speaker 2: miss being cute like I used to be. I will
Speaker 2: say that not having a creepy factor like dealing with
Speaker 2: that that is really nice.
Speaker 1: It's like such a relief.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm into it, and I think that playing
Speaker 2: this angle, they should definitely lean into it, in my opinion.
Speaker 1: So then we go.
Speaker 2: To the first rest area and it's set up to
Speaker 2: look like a kind of McDonald's, but instead of red
Speaker 2: and yellow, it's white and blue. They had taken a
Speaker 2: complete intact fast food restaurant from some random country in
Speaker 2: place to here underground. We'd come in through a main
Speaker 2: entrance and there's a thing on the wall that says
Speaker 2: countdown until the premiere twenty three hours, forty two minutes
Speaker 2: remaining crawlers four million, three hundred and twenty two thousand,
Speaker 2: three hundred and ninety five. It had been ten million
Speaker 2: just a few hours before. As I watched, the number
Speaker 2: just kept getting lower and lower. Ooh, sorry, guys, I
Speaker 2: had an interruption from a call.
Speaker 1: There, my bad.
Speaker 2: And there's going to be a leaderboard that they can see,
Speaker 2: which hadn't really occurred to me. The you know, I've
Speaker 2: talked a lot about the alignments with like Hunger Games,
Speaker 2: with this, but what is sort of interesting is the
Speaker 2: fact that you are going to be able to see
Speaker 2: who is ahead in what way. In hunger Games, you
Speaker 2: can only tell how people are doing based on whether
Speaker 2: they're still alive and whether it seems like they have
Speaker 2: enough food, and you just really are kind of guessing.
Speaker 2: But you don't necessarily know what they're getting from patrons
Speaker 2: or you know, you can assume they had to have
Speaker 2: gotten something to get this far, but you never really
Speaker 2: here you're going to be working with like more information,
Speaker 2: and later on, Mordecai says something about how they'll like
Speaker 2: take you out of the game sometimes to interview you,
Speaker 2: and that is also something that does not happen in
Speaker 2: the Hunger Games, but I really like because this is
Speaker 2: a game that goes on a lot longer obviously Hunger Games.
Speaker 2: You know it's meant to be like a few weeks,
Speaker 2: and this is based on the timing of things. I
Speaker 2: feel like it goes on a couple of months minimum, right,
Speaker 2: So the fact that you get pulled out to be
Speaker 2: interviewed is really fascinating because like, there's so many ways
Speaker 2: that that could be played, both as an author writing
Speaker 2: the scene and both as a character being pulled out.
Speaker 2: Do you rage at the people who did this to you?
Speaker 2: What is it like to see aliens? Do they just
Speaker 2: look like characters from the game? Do they look like people?
Speaker 2: You know? Are you going to be able to set
Speaker 2: aside your anger at what's happened to play to the
Speaker 2: crowd and get things or are you going to be
Speaker 2: so overwhelmed with disgust that you just come across as
Speaker 2: surly and angry.
Speaker 1: Both things can work for you, you know, like.
Speaker 2: There's not just one way to play it, but also
Speaker 2: are you going to be treated super well or just
Speaker 2: like shuffled in and out when you come out? Do
Speaker 2: you get given like a lovely bath and a change
Speaker 2: of clothes and bottle of champagne. Or do they grab
Speaker 2: you out with a fucking like sheep hook, pull you
Speaker 2: out onto stage, blinking under the lights, ask you a
Speaker 2: few questions and shove you back out the fucking door again. Like,
Speaker 2: there's a lot that I am curious.
Speaker 1: About with this.
Speaker 2: So this is when we meet Bopka, who, unfortunately, it seems,
Speaker 2: is not going to be the guy that we meet
Speaker 2: we see every time. I am very curious whether or
Speaker 2: not he is responsible for how good the food is
Speaker 2: or if this is part of the way things are built.
Speaker 2: But he asks for the rat little he is a
Speaker 2: rat looking little guy, right am, I let's see. No,
Speaker 2: he's a dwarf. The rat's Mordecai. But Mordecai Carl asks
Speaker 2: him to make something he recommends, which I thought was
Speaker 2: taking a real fucking risk.
Speaker 1: I will tell you what. I was just full on like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing, dude?
Speaker 2: So imagine my surprise when he gets a lovely vindaloo.
Speaker 2: It was really what a relief. And he says his
Speaker 2: spice tolerance is four, which I wish. I am such
Speaker 2: a whimp when it comes to spices.
Speaker 1: Swear to God.
Speaker 2: So he gives some yogurt too, and there's a mention here. Also,
Speaker 2: I just want to say this, Uh Taly knows you
Speaker 2: are new here. This dungeon has just opened. It opened
Speaker 2: without warning, so Tally is not ready. This is also
Speaker 2: what Mordecai said that he wasn't ready, which makes me
Speaker 2: wonder if there is a budget problem, Like it just
Speaker 2: seems like they're used to things being a lot more organized,
Speaker 2: and something seems wrong. So if there's something wrong, that's
Speaker 2: something that is exploitable, and I would like more information
Speaker 2: on that. I'm wondering if like Mordecai, because obviously they
Speaker 2: have to be careful what they say because they are
Speaker 2: being filmed. I wonder how much info Mordecai can give
Speaker 2: Carl if he starts to find out things. He's got
Speaker 2: to be real careful though. If you don't see him
Speaker 2: after like level four two, then you.
Speaker 1: Just lose that source. Eh. Eh, it's tough.
Speaker 2: So he has some water that is wonderful, and uh
Speaker 2: Donut gets a bell talisman of the slate butterfly. He
Speaker 2: is annoyed about the jingling of it because he feels
Speaker 2: like that's going to make it impossible to sneak. Those
Speaker 2: who are who remember and commemorate the sad tape of
Speaker 2: the slate butterfly are given a boon by the fairies
Speaker 2: of the world. That story even made me cry. Adds
Speaker 2: plus four to the light on your feet skill and
Speaker 2: plus one two intelligence. Winged fairies will no longer be
Speaker 2: automatically hostile toward you, which is nice because we had
Speaker 2: the thing with his goblin stamp that would make fairies angry.
Speaker 2: Maybe this will even it out. It's difficult to say
Speaker 2: because it's on two different people. He's the one with
Speaker 2: the thing, so the fairies might be like super nice
Speaker 2: to her and total assholes to him, which would be
Speaker 2: pretty funny. So this is when Tally comes out and
Speaker 2: he has this vindaloo. I apologize, I do not have lamb.
Speaker 2: They took my lamb for a mob in preparation for
Speaker 2: the second floor.
Speaker 1: Don't like that.
Speaker 2: Also, your Royal Highness, I have special ordered a fresh
Speaker 2: salmon for your meal upon waking. I will have it
Speaker 2: properly prepared and diced and garnished for you later. I
Speaker 2: love that he calls her your Highness, and Carl's so irritated,
Speaker 2: and She's just like whatever, what's not my fault. He
Speaker 2: thinks a thing, and he takes a bite, and he says,
Speaker 2: it was literally the most delicious thing I had ever tasted.
Speaker 2: I'd never been a huge Indian food fan, but holy shit,
Speaker 2: which personally I don't.
Speaker 1: Get people who don't like Indian food.
Speaker 2: Like, I feel strongly that I could live on it
Speaker 2: for the rest of my life and I would probably
Speaker 2: never get tired of it.
Speaker 1: I love it so much.
Speaker 2: It's just a it's a pain to prepare, it can
Speaker 2: be very expensive eating it out, like, so I don't
Speaker 2: have it as often as I would like.
Speaker 1: And it's also very rich, a lot of it, but
Speaker 1: mouth's water and just thinking about it. Love it so.
Speaker 2: He and there's a moment where he's I thought the
Speaker 2: urge to lick the plate, and I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: sure if you just ad asked him, he would just
Speaker 2: make you another one, Carl.
Speaker 1: Like, probably you should eat too.
Speaker 2: You're gonna be using a lot of calories in the
Speaker 2: coming days. You probably want to, like carbol load get
Speaker 2: some protein in there. Like, maybe you should start asking
Speaker 2: for like particular nutritional profiles for your meals to optimize
Speaker 2: your performance.
Speaker 1: I'm just singing, is.
Speaker 2: It possible for you to ask this guy for some
Speaker 2: like gatorades, you know, uh, maybe get a little like
Speaker 2: Camelback Water dispenser something. Just thinking out loud here, Oh
Speaker 2: my god, I'm so sorry. I'm just seeing Rob was
Speaker 2: commenting in the chat, and I like missed a bunch
Speaker 2: of them, he says. I'll say this for Dinneman. The
Speaker 2: stuff he writes is horrific, but every time he writes
Speaker 2: political it generally feels nuanced and reasonably well researched. I
Speaker 2: can't remember everything in the series, but there was nothing
Speaker 2: that particularly made me go ah man. Turns out this
Speaker 2: guy is a secret Wiener from the Secret Wiener is
Speaker 2: going in my lexicon.
Speaker 1: That is very useful. It's just very evocative, you know.
Speaker 2: I love it horrific in the sense he's clearly a
Speaker 2: horror writer, and this is satire that really points out
Speaker 2: the horror of our current zeitgeist. Once you finish the series,
Speaker 2: there are videos of Jeff Hayes doing cold reads, and
Speaker 2: if I could alternate between Indian and Vietnamese slash tie,
Speaker 2: I'd be so good.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love thie as well, but it really depends because
Speaker 2: some places do it very sweet and that is all
Speaker 2: Owen has ever had. So he thinks he doesn't like
Speaker 2: Thai food. Sorry, he's going by Marshall. Now I'm adjusting
Speaker 2: my husband. But yeah, so he thinks he doesn't like
Speaker 2: Tay food, and I think if he got good stuff
Speaker 2: he would.
Speaker 1: But there isn't a place like around here. But agree
Speaker 1: on that.
Speaker 2: Vietnamese have only had like a couple things, and I
Speaker 2: liked them both. But I'm not enough to feel confident
Speaker 2: about it. Okay, so let's see. We need to come
Speaker 2: up with a snappy way to kill them. Something exciting
Speaker 2: yet cute, something with zest.
Speaker 1: I want on that show.
Speaker 2: Carl, we're not getting on that show. Were you paying attention?
Speaker 2: Millions of followers? Loot boxes? We need to get on
Speaker 2: that show. Maybe we need a catchphrase. I do really
Speaker 2: love that we had to put somebody in here who
Speaker 2: gave a shit about the competition aspect of it. Carl
Speaker 2: is clearly very fatalistic about it and doesn't really see
Speaker 2: himself getting to this point.
Speaker 1: And she has a.
Speaker 2: Totally different experience with like competitive stuff, so it's very
Speaker 2: fun to see how completely confident she is. Plus or
Speaker 2: charisma stats are insane. So I am really looking forward
Speaker 2: to eventually them getting interviewed, hopefully.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 2: He is able to the rooms that they go into. Thankfully,
Speaker 2: there's not the kind of like time crunch yet where
Speaker 2: I'm worried about him sleeping through the level closing up,
Speaker 2: you know, but I have to assume that is something
Speaker 2: that becomes a problem a little bit later. So the
Speaker 2: temperature in the rooms is chili, just how he likes it.
Speaker 2: And he is able to get a.
Speaker 1: Shower, and.
Speaker 2: I don't think he gets like fresh clothes, right, because
Speaker 2: otherwise he would be able to get pants.
Speaker 1: That's not how that works. And he doesn't get.
Speaker 2: To launder the stuff that he was wearing. But let's see,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to find the spot. Oh right, okay, showers
Speaker 2: with soap and shampoo dispenser's cheap disposable razors.
Speaker 1: I had.
Speaker 2: There were no towels, however, and I had to drip dry,
Speaker 2: which I thought was weird. And again, is this because
Speaker 2: things didn't Like, there wasn't the warning that they normally
Speaker 2: get do they normally have towels, but they just aren't
Speaker 2: stocked up with everything yet because it opened without warning.
Speaker 2: Like I'm very very curious about this. So he eats
Speaker 2: his incredible breakfast. She has salmon patay, and he talks
Speaker 2: to Tally about personal spaces in the safe rooms, and
Speaker 2: he says, well, it transfer from level to level. Yes,
Speaker 2: it will, and from safe space to safe space. Also,
Speaker 2: it's best to buy all the accessories as soon as
Speaker 2: you can. Some of the items only upgrade when it
Speaker 2: goes down a level. So if you wait several levels
Speaker 2: before you purchase a crafting table, it won't get as
Speaker 2: strong as one purchased earlier, which is uh. I can't help,
Speaker 2: but wonder that's not part of like the tutorial in
Speaker 2: the guild. Carl found that out because he asked the
Speaker 2: right question, And I wonder how many people aren't going
Speaker 2: to ask the right questions and thus don't know about
Speaker 2: these little advantages, you know what I mean, Like just
Speaker 2: the kinds of things that if somebody doesn't really give
Speaker 2: a shit about their job, maybe they just don't tell you,
Speaker 2: and then you wind up with shitty equipment later because
Speaker 2: you weren't warned about these things. So let's see Scatterer
Speaker 2: brood Guardian level four cockroaches that had been baptized in
Speaker 2: rage and monster energy drinks, and.
Speaker 1: He like the whole fight with them.
Speaker 2: I am going to jump right past the way that
Speaker 2: these bugs explode.
Speaker 1: It's horrible.
Speaker 2: We ended up killing a dozen more of the level
Speaker 2: four US before we reached the door. Every once in
Speaker 2: a while the scatterer would get inflicted with sepsis, and
Speaker 2: when that happened, it would turn and try to run off,
Speaker 2: would usually collapse and die after It took about thirty steps.
Speaker 2: Both Dona and I were level five when we got
Speaker 2: to the door. So the door says no entrar, don't enter,
Speaker 2: or then the Centro de Salouth, which is by order
Speaker 2: of the health department or health center. And I thought
Speaker 2: that this was going to be like, maybe the door
Speaker 2: isn't relevant. Maybe they just did this because this is
Speaker 2: what it said on a door and they grabbed a
Speaker 2: random door. But it seemed because like earlier, he's talking
Speaker 2: about the bathrooms and they all have signs on them
Speaker 2: from different countries. Some say men or women on them,
Speaker 2: but obviously they aren't gender specific because he can use
Speaker 2: any one of them. So I was thinking maybe this
Speaker 2: like it's looking freeky, but it's not free hey, you know.
Speaker 1: And he sends in.
Speaker 2: Donut to check things out, and she says that she
Speaker 2: can see a bunch of cockroaches and something that she
Speaker 2: can't tell what it is. It smells like that bag
Speaker 2: you take with you on those days. That other guy
Speaker 2: comes over to the apartment and he's like, are you
Speaker 2: fucking serious? Just finding out that his girlfriend didn't just
Speaker 2: start doing shit when she went on this cruise or
Speaker 2: whatever it was, which makes me kind of think she
Speaker 2: might be alive, but that she had been fucking around
Speaker 2: before that, And this is how he finds out.
Speaker 1: That is very embarrassing. That is so humiliating.
Speaker 2: I felt like an idiot. I also suddenly felt very reckless.
Speaker 2: The Goblin dynamite, This stuff is especially volatile. It's so
Speaker 2: volatile you probably don't even need to light the stick
Speaker 2: to set it off. It's so volatile even loud noises
Speaker 2: might set it off. Keep it in your inventory until
Speaker 2: you're ready to use it. Be gentle and don't squeeze
Speaker 2: too hard, or else you might get the The AI
Speaker 2: didn't speak for a good two seconds. Boom, the AI
Speaker 2: shouted that last word in my head, and I almost
Speaker 2: pissed myself. You are a fucking asshole, I whispered up
Speaker 2: at the air. So he lights it. He throws it.
Speaker 2: I prayed it wouldn't blow when it hit the ground.
Speaker 2: Chapter eleven. It blew when it hit the ground. My
Speaker 2: vision flashed and I received a danger low health warning,
Speaker 2: but it quickly abated. How much would it suck if
Speaker 2: he didn't have those buffs and he just killed himself
Speaker 2: right here with his own thing, that would be I mean,
Speaker 2: at least he's not being filmed. I guess at this
Speaker 2: point that's the one thing. Ahem. So they go in there,
Speaker 2: and you know, there's all of these dead buff and
Speaker 2: it's feeling like maybe we dealt with everything with this dynamite.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's fine, but there's a lot of garbage. There's
Speaker 2: piles of it that are stacked. There's a smell to everything,
Speaker 2: and I'm not getting what's happening here. I'm curious if
Speaker 2: anybody reading was starting to sense what we were doing.
Speaker 2: But finally.
Speaker 1: They hear music.
Speaker 2: New achievement, Boss, Babe, you've struck a blow against a
Speaker 2: dungeon boss and cause damage. Here's a fun fact. For
Speaker 2: crawlers who make it through the tutorial, this achievement is
Speaker 2: by far most often the last achievement they ever receive.
Speaker 2: Isn't that interesting?
Speaker 1: Reward.
Speaker 2: Let's wait a few minutes before we decide on whether
Speaker 2: or not a whether or not to waste a prize
Speaker 2: on you. The door opens and a woman comes out.
Speaker 2: You have discovered the layer of a neighborhood boss. The
Speaker 2: AI was louder than usual. He sounded like the announcer
Speaker 2: at a monster truck rally.
Speaker 1: Doughnut wants out.
Speaker 2: But it turns out that almost you can almost never,
Speaker 2: like just leave a boss fight. I don't know if
Speaker 2: they can with this one, but it's usually not possible.
Speaker 2: So a woman appeared, reaching into the air, screaming as
Speaker 2: she rocketed up like she'd been shot out of a cannon.
Speaker 2: A human woman about thirty five, enormously fat. She wore
Speaker 2: a filthy and ripped T shirt and no bra, and
Speaker 2: her skin was covered in open sores and scabs. A
Speaker 2: blue pair of sweatpants with the word Pink along the
Speaker 2: leg appeared to be stretched to their limits. Her black
Speaker 2: hair clung to her head in clumps, like me.
Speaker 1: She wore no shoes.
Speaker 2: She was also fifteen feet tall. And they all freeze
Speaker 2: and they get dungeon Crawler Carl Donut versus the Hoarder
Speaker 2: Level seven neighborhood boss.
Speaker 1: God, this is awful.
Speaker 2: Half of the woman's face was burned to hell. She
Speaker 2: had a health bar over her head and it was
Speaker 2: already three quarters gone. I cheated the boss fight, killing
Speaker 2: her minions and hurting her before it even began. I
Speaker 2: you noodul. This means, please help me. I don't know
Speaker 2: what's happening. I have a stomach ache. I don't know
Speaker 2: where I am. Please, I'm scared.
Speaker 1: You guys, this is so sad. This was like it
Speaker 1: was just it was horrible. It maybe like just reading
Speaker 1: that makes me so sad. I hate this.
Speaker 2: And he says, I like we should help her, and
Speaker 2: Donut says, yeah, that'll be a no. And eventually she
Speaker 2: starts throwing up more of these bugs and that's what
Speaker 2: she's saying, like, I have a stomach ache. This they
Speaker 2: did this to her. They put bugs in her stomach.
Speaker 2: That's actually happening. That is not a fun graphic. That's
Speaker 2: clearly been done to a person, which is the grossest thing.
Speaker 2: And I just can't imagine not knowing what's going on,
Speaker 2: and you start vomiting bugs, like, oh my god. Okay,
Speaker 2: the woman was scared, disoriented, and she obviously didn't want
Speaker 2: to be here, but she was also vomiting killer cockroaches.
Speaker 1: Our only real choice was to take.
Speaker 2: Her out, and honestly, I wanted to find an alternative
Speaker 2: for a moment, but then I was like, there's nothing
Speaker 2: good coming for this woman if they did this to her,
Speaker 2: like get get her dead. It's a favor at this
Speaker 2: point after everything they have done. So oh god, I'm sorry, guys.
Speaker 2: I keep getting these calls and I do not I
Speaker 2: can't answer them obviously, and I usually don't get calls
Speaker 2: because I have do not disturb set. So he comes
Speaker 2: up behind her and eventually he manages to get like
Speaker 2: a chain around her throat, and Dona is very afraid
Speaker 2: of actually fighting. She only wants to use her missiles
Speaker 2: because that's a ranged attack, but she doesn't want to
Speaker 2: get up in there because and like, honestly, I feel.
Speaker 1: Like she had pretty low.
Speaker 2: Stats in terms of like her own durability. But he
Speaker 2: is just like, can you please even pretend to make
Speaker 2: an effort? You know, the horder lay on her back,
Speaker 2: her health bar was all but empty. LUCIENTO if mala persona,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if I was a bad person. No Kiia
Speaker 2: Jsse and Fermara. I didn't want my daughter to be sick.
Speaker 2: No kio l n el inferno. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: be in the fire. And vime a Jesus, please bring
Speaker 2: me to Jesus or send me to Jesus.
Speaker 1: Send me to Jesus.
Speaker 2: She's basically saying, kill me. And I don't know that
Speaker 2: I didn't want my daughter to get sick. I maybe
Speaker 2: they were threatening her daughter, this is what Maybe that
Speaker 2: was the deal that she agreed to, like be this
Speaker 2: character so that they wouldn't hurt her.
Speaker 1: Kid, which U uh yikes.
Speaker 2: Talking about her getting sick and also the fire, it
Speaker 2: feels like there's a lot of horrible things, like choices
Speaker 2: that people have to make. I'm wondering if this is
Speaker 2: maybe some of the deals on the like later levels,
Speaker 2: play a certain character, and if you survive and win,
Speaker 2: you get out. You know, if you're a boss that
Speaker 2: somebody can't beat, you win your way out. But you
Speaker 2: really reach a point where it's like, how much do
Speaker 2: I believe they would even honor that agreement? I don't really,
Speaker 2: there's nothing for me to base that trust in, you know.
Speaker 2: So twelve, it's after this is over and they're talking
Speaker 2: to Mordecai about the whole thing, and he explains about
Speaker 2: the bosses and you know, just in general how they work,
Speaker 2: which is pretty typical. And finally, Carl says, the one
Speaker 2: we fought was obviously a person from our world. Is
Speaker 2: it always going to.
Speaker 1: Be like that?
Speaker 2: No, this was interesting. Mordecai didn't answer for several moments,
Speaker 2: like he was trying hard to think of a proper response,
Speaker 2: which feels to me like he's not allowed to say
Speaker 2: certain things. No, not always, he said, finally, there will
Speaker 2: be a lot of recycling from previous iterations of the game.
Speaker 2: Some will be human stock, but most won't be or
Speaker 2: even human from this world, or they will be human,
Speaker 2: but it won't be as obvious.
Speaker 1: And I just want to.
Speaker 2: Know what the hell he wasn't saying, because it just
Speaker 2: felt like he was parsing his words quite a bit there,
Speaker 2: and that no, not always is doing a lot of work,
Speaker 2: and I want to know what the fun that was about.
Speaker 2: So Donut is not pleased that they get a bronze
Speaker 2: level boss box. She feels like this is not good enough.
Speaker 2: And let's see, there's torches, pet biscuits, and she finds
Speaker 2: a spell book and immediately applies it and then gets
Speaker 2: angry once she realizes that it's kind of a shitty spell.
Speaker 2: Now I say shitty because that's what she thinks. I
Speaker 2: personally think this is a good spell. Mordecai laughs and
Speaker 2: is like, you really do need to read shit before.
Speaker 1: You use them.
Speaker 2: But this is a useful spell. It's called torch. It
Speaker 2: makes a curl of light follow you around. The more
Speaker 2: she uses it, the more powerful it'll become.
Speaker 1: Which I played.
Speaker 2: I played Starry Valley for the first time in November
Speaker 2: when I got really sick with COVID and I could
Speaker 2: do basically nothing else. And I have never played a
Speaker 2: game where if you didn't have a light source, you
Speaker 2: just couldn't see the screen. But it was pretty like
Speaker 2: because I had never played, and I wasn't looking at
Speaker 2: tutorials or anything, it took me a little while to
Speaker 2: figure out that you could make a torch and like
Speaker 2: carry it or put it down somewhere. So y'all don't
Speaker 2: know how frustrated I was at first. I couldn't see shit.
Speaker 2: And I think that you've like this is a key element.
Speaker 2: You've got torches, which are clearly usable items. You're gonna
Speaker 2: run out of those potentially, but if she just has
Speaker 2: light with her, that is very helpful. So yeah, you've
Speaker 2: gained a skill level iron punched level three and he
Speaker 2: gets Tomb of Wisp armor, more dynamite, gunpowder, scroll of
Speaker 2: confusing fog, enchanted spike, kneepads, potion of iron skin, and
Speaker 2: the wisp arm sounds really cool. So it lasts five
Speaker 2: minutes plus one minute per level of spell. Five minute
Speaker 2: cool down costs five manuta. Surrounds your body with tendrils
Speaker 2: of light. While ineffective against physical attacks, this spell negates
Speaker 2: seventy five percent of incoming damage from magic based attacks.
Speaker 2: That's a lot like you almost never see those kinds
Speaker 2: of numbers.
Speaker 1: When I say almost never.
Speaker 2: What I am basing a lot of this on is
Speaker 2: playing Skyrim, and I know that there are so many
Speaker 2: other games out there. I've played a few, but Skyrim
Speaker 2: was probably like the RPG I played the longest, and
Speaker 2: so I'm comparing a lot of this to that. And
Speaker 2: you know, the kneepads adds ten percent damage, reflect cancels
Speaker 2: all momentum a.
Speaker 1: Tax, which is kind of fun.
Speaker 2: And I'm trying to find the confusing file here it
Speaker 2: is filled the room with the myths that could only
Speaker 2: the mobs could see. And the iron skin potion raised
Speaker 2: my physical armor by one hundred percent for five minutes, which, like, granted,
Speaker 2: five minutes isn't a super long time, but one hundred
Speaker 2: percent for five minutes, I mean that could save your
Speaker 2: life a few times.
Speaker 1: In a row. Like, that's really really good.
Speaker 2: So even though Donah sniffed and put her nose up
Speaker 2: at the level of box, all things considered, they've done
Speaker 2: pretty fucking well. At this point, Dona asks Mordecai, is
Speaker 2: there were Worst Dressed award for the Dungeon And this
Speaker 2: is when he talks about they might take you out
Speaker 2: to do interviews, like when they win boss fights. Sometimes
Speaker 2: that's when they pull people out. It's a commentator program.
Speaker 2: The show is almost as popular as the official program,
Speaker 2: though they'll never let you watch this one.
Speaker 1: And this made me.
Speaker 2: Think of like like the Watching Dead. For those who
Speaker 2: were around for the original Walking Dead airing, they had
Speaker 2: a show that would air directly after that, hosted by
Speaker 2: now canceled Chris Hardwick. And it was wild to me
Speaker 2: how popular it was considering how nothing it was. But
Speaker 2: it's just that it had the cast on for interviews,
Speaker 2: and it was always so funny because they'd basically just
Speaker 2: like repeat summaries of what it just happened in the
Speaker 2: previous episode. It was the most pointless shit. So I
Speaker 2: think it's going to be different because it's like sounding
Speaker 2: much more like a Joan Rivers, like red carpet commentary
Speaker 2: sort of thing, where maybe there's some snarkiness happening or
Speaker 2: good Morning America type, you know. But I really do
Speaker 2: look forward to them getting on one of those at
Speaker 2: some point because I'm so curious how Karl is going
Speaker 2: to respond versus Donut. Also, Donut calls like, is like,
Speaker 2: we need to get on there, and he says it's
Speaker 2: not how it works, and I'm not your agent, and
Speaker 2: she says, no, no you're not. Miss Beatrice is my agent,
Speaker 2: and once we reunite with her, she'll make sure I
Speaker 2: get on that show. But she's halfway around the world.
Speaker 2: I figure we'll have to wait until the fifth or
Speaker 2: sixth floor before the dungeon shrinks enough for us to
Speaker 2: find her. I really hope we don't have to wait
Speaker 2: much longer than that. I exchanged a look with Mordecai Sure,
Speaker 2: I said, finally, now let's get back out there.
Speaker 1: And clearly they look at each other because.
Speaker 2: They are both definitely assuming that Beatrice is likely dead.
Speaker 2: If she's not, that she will be, so this perfect
Speaker 2: trust that Donut has that Beatrice is still alive. I'm
Speaker 2: not sure how much Donut really understands what happened. Like
Speaker 2: she was there, but I don't know how much she
Speaker 2: really absorbed, and it doesn't seem like they've really had
Speaker 2: time to talk about that very much. He clearly doesn't
Speaker 2: want to, like warn her that Beatrice is likely dead,
Speaker 2: And there's almost a part of me that's like, maybe
Speaker 2: her and Beatrice have some sort of like connection and
Speaker 2: she can tell that she's still alive. Maybe Beatrice is
Speaker 2: still alive and there's something in her that knows that.
Speaker 2: And it's sort of a funny thing because like, I
Speaker 2: like the idea of eventually meeting Beatrice after having only
Speaker 2: heard shit about her, because I'm super curious. You know,
Speaker 2: it might be the sort of thing where she is
Speaker 2: just as shitty as she sounds secondhand when you only
Speaker 2: hear about the bad things she did. It might be
Speaker 2: something where you're like, nah, she's cool as fuck. I
Speaker 2: kind of get why you liked her. Actually it might
Speaker 2: be the sort of thing where you like find out
Speaker 2: what was going on in their relationship and you're like, dude, no,
Speaker 2: wonder she cheated on you? What an asshole? Like?
Speaker 1: Who knows?
Speaker 2: But I feel like her still being alive is kind
Speaker 2: of more interesting, so I'm down. But also if she
Speaker 2: is not still alive, that's also fine. I'm you know,
Speaker 2: I'm not married to and I'm just saying, sometimes just
Speaker 2: doing the more interesting thing, even though might be more
Speaker 2: complicated or difficult, maybe.
Speaker 1: You should still do it. So Okay.
Speaker 2: That is the end of chapter twelve, and I am
Speaker 2: really really enjoying this so far. Once again, encourage everybody
Speaker 2: to check out the audiobook if you haven't already. Thank
Speaker 2: you so much to Michael for commissioning this one. Really
Speaker 2: really appreciate it. And thank you Rob for keeping me
Speaker 2: company in the chat. It's always nice to feel like
Speaker 2: there's somebody here with me, you know. I've done a
Speaker 2: few almost all of my recordings at least one person,
Speaker 2: but sometimes there's nobody, and it's really remarkable how different
Speaker 2: my energy is when there's nobody there.
Speaker 1: I just feel like, does.
Speaker 2: This even matter that I'm talking? Who's going to listen?
Speaker 2: To this, you know, even though I know people will
Speaker 2: listen to the recording later. So I appreciate you being here.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, he says, don't read this. Oh he's giving
Speaker 2: me advice on Vietnamese food. Ha ha, my pleasure. I look
Speaker 2: forward to hearing more. Yes, five thirty Central time, Remember sir,
Speaker 2: just put that in your old planners. Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Speaker 2: All right, everybody, thank you again for joining me, and
Speaker 2: until next time, to the Loo, motherfuckers. That was an
Speaker 2: Unspoiled Network podcast