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Speaker 1: It's always the women. I see this so much, the

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women that are doing well, that have it, that are

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come for money, that are wealthy. I have people in

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my life right now that are doing so well for themselves,

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and you know what they say. I don't care that

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he's not a high earner. I don't care that he cares.

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That is the thing. You don't care that he doesn't

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have the money. But he cares and he will always care,

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which is why you should care. You cannot give a

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man a fish who's not a fisherman. You try to

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build him a website, he resents you. You try to

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help him get a job, you try to give him

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six months of figuring him, he's going to resent you.

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Let me tell you this. If you build a man up, okay,

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he is going to want to see the He's going

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to want to be with the woman who never saw

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him down. I'm not telling you what I'm I'm telling

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you what I know. If you build a man up,

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once he's up and he potentially stays up, he's going

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to want to be with the woman who never saw

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him down. Hey, y'all, welcome back to Dear to See.

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You were jumping right into it. We have a couple

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of subscription reminders. Follow dear to see you on Apple

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and Spotify, leave us a five star review, subscribe to

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a relationship restored, and our dear to see a YouTube

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channel which is under to see a XBS twenty. We

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are trying to get to ten K. I already know

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y'all go home again. I'm not even I'm not even

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sweating no more. I already know that we're gonna get there. Now.

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We're gonna introduce our pinut gallery Guez. Mister Fernando, tell

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the people about you to us. Fernando.

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Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Fernando. I'm a relationship and finess coach, and

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I teach men how finessed women so they don't finesse you.

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I ain't telling you what I heard. I'm telling you

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what I do, and if I am lying, don't tell

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my business people. Between us, I'm playing. I'm playing. I'm playing.

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Thank you for having me here. Appreciate the opportunities to

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see you, looking forward to the conversation.

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Speaker 1: That means my tagline is working because people know it

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the off the dumb okay, that means it's working.

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Speaker 3: Who are you all right?

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Speaker 2: So, Fernando, I am a frequent traveler, content creator, part

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time actor, and one time competitor on Ready to Love Potomac,

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and that's where I had the opportunity to meet the

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beautiful to see you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Yes, So y'all know always tell you how

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I'm at the Peanut Gallery. Yes, and that we still

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have to come up on our name. We're supposed to

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give give our guests something a cute little now we

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have to figure that out. But Fernando and I are

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co castmates. I did the DC season, he did Ready

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to Love Potomac and our casts are just locked in.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 1: The DMV area is just very small and we always

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support each other. I just have my ten year d

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m V anniversary, Fernando okay to my little pajama party

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and just random shows that I'll have and everything. So

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we just we just now we're just locked in, locked

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in to the area. So anyways, y'all, great post.

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Speaker 3: Is know that you do it. The best party is

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the best events, so it's always.

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Speaker 1: A pleasure, always a time. We on to our listener

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review Comfort Show to see uh thank you for the content,

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amazing show and my comfort show as a single hopeless romantic.

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Your advice is Golden Thank you queen, keep being amazing.

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Speaker 5: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: It's Katie, Thank you girl. Okay, voicemail number one, dear

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to see you. He left the day after Christmas.

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Speaker 4: Dear to see him. I hope you don't mind me

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reaching out. I've been following your content for a while

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and would really appreciate how direct round on adult for

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your advices. So I recently ended up four year relationship

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with my fiance. He wasn't my son's father, but he

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has been my son's life since the age five. My

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son just turned nine last month. We were engaged. We

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moved to a different state together, We got an apartment together,

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he got my name tattooed. We built a shared life together.

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When I say this ended abruptly, I mean literally, like

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today is December twenty nine, twenty twenty five. This man

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left the day after Christmas. My son and I took

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my mother to Disney for Christmas, and I'm looking at

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my phone literally on Christmas Day, and I'm seeing like

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a lot of notifications from my camera in the house.

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I'm like, what is going on? So I go to

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my note I go to my camera app and I

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see that it's him. He's packing up his stuff and

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which is not a lot because it's like a double bag,

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you know. So I'm freaking out. I'm like, oh no,

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we gotta go.

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Speaker 5: We go.

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Speaker 4: We come back home the next the day after Christmas,

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and I'm like, what is going on? Like why are

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you packing your stuff out? And he's like I'm leaving,

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Like that's it. That's literally it. So throughout my relationship,

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if I can be honest, there's always been a financial

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struggle on his end. He's older than me by over

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a decade. I'm in my thirties, and you know, he

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just felt like he wanted to do him he wanted to,

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you know, better himself. He wants to be an actor, writer, producer, writes,

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you know, write songs. And he feels like I'm hindering him.

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I don't know how because there were times where, you know,

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again like I'm successful in my career. I work in

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law and I'll leave it at that. And he's kind

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of you know, he has a job, but it's not

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concrete like mine. And that's no problem. It's never been

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an issue.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: There were times where I said, hey, you know, like

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for six months, don't even work, start your own business.

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You know, do what you need to do for yourself,

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and he didn't take an advantage of that, you know,

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like I helped him. I created a website, flyers, business cards,

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business phones, you know, and he didn't do the max

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of what he should have done with an information. So

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I said, you know what, I think that you need

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to go back to work because this is not going

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to work. I cannot keep paying the bills for someone

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who's doing minimum effort on something that's maximum when it's

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been working for themselves. So there was a lot of

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financial struggle on his end. He was laid a couple

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of times on rent, and as a man, I can

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understand you don't want that, but that just says a

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lot like do what you need to do to improve

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and make yourself happy. I mean, you knew that when

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you met me that you didn't have it and I

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didn't have it. I'm not going to come off off

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my high horse, you know, like level up. As a man,

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you should want to level up. But I never threw

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money in his face. It's just the fact that he

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knew that I had money come for money bothered him.

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So he threw it in my face, like you have money,

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you have this. I don't have that, But again, he

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knew this when he met me, so I asked him

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to stay, you know, like we can still you can

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still live here, don't be on the street. He's right

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now on the street outside with the Duffel bag. That's it.

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No family here in the States. So right now, I'm

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just trying to process this in a healthy way and

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would love to, you know, really value your perspective on

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a few things. What does a decision like this say

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about him as a man? Okay, what does it to

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say about me and the dynamically created together? How do

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I take accountability for my part without care, responsibility for

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the part that isn't mine? And most importantly, how do

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I move forward intentionally when I still want to partnersh

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marriage and possibly another child. I'm not looking to rutch

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on anything or repeat patterns. I just want to heal

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correctly and date with clarity when the time is ripe.

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Any insight would be truly appreciated, And again, thank you

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for the work that you do.

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Speaker 1: There are so many things here. First, ladies, you never

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date older and you make more money than them. This

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man is ten years older than you and you were

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paying the bills, he had no job, struggling. You thought

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you were gonna give him a career, getting building him

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a website. That's not why you go older. Y'all are

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embarrassing yourselves. You never you got engaged. And I'm gonna

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tell you this, it's always the women. I see this

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so much, the women that are doing well, that have it,

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that are come for money, that are wealthy. I have

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people in my life right now that are doing so

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well for themselves, and you know what they say. I

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don't care that he's not a high earner. I don't care.

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That's not he cares. That is the thing. You don't

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care that he doesn't have the money. But he cares

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and he will always care, which is why you should care.

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You cannot give a man a fish who's not a fisherman.

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You try to build him a website, he resents you.

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You try to help him get a job, you try

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to give him six months of figuring him, He's going

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to resent you. Let me tell you this. If you

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build a man up, okay, he is going to want

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to see the He's going to want to be with

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the woman who never saw him down. I'm not telling

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you what I heard I'm telling you what I know.

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If you build a man up, once he's up, and

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he potentially stays up, he's going to want to be

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with the woman who never saw him down. We talked

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about this our last seven when my homegirl Anita was

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on here. It was like a couple segments ago, and

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she said, the girlfriend of the student is never the

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wife of the professional. Y'all are doing life sentences and

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time and bids for these men that are never going

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to wife you. You don't care about the money, but

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the man cares about the money. No man wants to

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be with a woman unless he literally has ill intentions

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and he's just not well, Okay, he wants to be

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with a woman who's constantly pushing him and investing in

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him and telling him you can have a big baby.

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Just go do what you want to do and go

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out there and be great. You try to give him

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a life. It never works like that. He's going to

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resent you. And I'm telling you, when you build him up,

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he's going to want to be with a woman who

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never saw him doing bad like that. I'm telling you

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I've seen it with my own two eyes. Okay, I've

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seen it with my own sel Eyes. Please chime in

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on this, Please chime heard.

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Speaker 2: Nothing good yet about the person she's talking about, this

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man four years and fiance. But what did he bring

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to the table Financial struggles, difficulty making rent, issues with

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having the buildings own business, didn't keep up with the business,

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and had no integrity to try to make the business work.

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Why do you care so much? I mean, I'm thank

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you for the time and effort in what do you

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He don't have it for you.

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Speaker 3: He's not the one.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you, Fernando. I see this all the time.

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It's the women that don't worry about money. They are

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the first people to skip through reflax with men. I

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am telling you women that don't have financial worries, right,

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they're gonna tell you that they dated the men with

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the money and they didn't treat them well. And then

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they go date men who are not making as much money,

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but they treat them better than these other men. But

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you know what happened them niggas starting that shit that

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they're going through. Living up under you, walking, watching you

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be a boss lady, watching you go and provide and

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go out and get the you know, get the bacon,

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and come back in they start tossing and turning that night.

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They start looking at other friends in the face. They

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start looking at their homeboys, and they know that they

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are not at the standard that they should be and

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there's nothing you can do about it. The women that

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are high earners that are set in life, they either

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come for money, they've built wealth on their own and

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they do not care about money. They date men that

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treat them well, but they are not a high earner,

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and it never ends well. Why because the men end

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up resenting them. Men want to feel powerful, they want

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to feel in charge, they want to feel like a leader.

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And you women, that's saying money doesn't matter. You can't

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change him. Internally, he's going to care because guess what

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society says. Society, we didn't make the rules, we just

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planned by them. And women are trying to change the

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side the rules. You're trying to make it seem like

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money is not that important. All he has to do

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is be a good person. But then the societal standards

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hit his ass in the head at night. That's why

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his ass got up and left in the dust. Okay,

241
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because it's eating him alive. I'm telling you, even if

242
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you don't care, about the money. They care about the money.

243
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The amount of times, Fernando, that I have met women,

244
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I have coach women. I have women in my chat

245
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that say that they never cared about money, but the

246
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men kept bringing it up. The men made this, were

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gas lighting them. The men kept gnack and whining about it.

248
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And also just like kind of like reverse psychology, Well,

249
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I don't have those things. Must be nice that you

250
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don't have to worry about. Must be nice that your

251
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daddy came home. Must be nice that you don't saying

252
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you had a warm meal on the table them because

253
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I didn't grow up in the projects. And you know

254
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what I'm saying, I didn't have to heat my house

255
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with the stole all of a sudden, they have a

256
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problem with it. And ladies, it doesn't matter if you

257
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don't care about it. And I'm gonna tell you this,

258
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you not caring about it is a big problem. I

259
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,519
don't care what nobody says. As a woman, you should

260
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always care about a man's ability to provide for himself.

261
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People could call it you a gold digger, they could

262
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call you superficial, they could call you materialistic as a woman,

263
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And I'm gonna tell you this, let the data show

264
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that every time that you never cared about the money

265
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and the finances, the shit never fucking worked out. It

266
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never works out the moment that you don't care. And

267
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I'm telling you they want to be with a woman

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that considers being a provider and a high earner like

269
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a respect thing, because that's the thing. Man's bottom line

270
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is respect, And when you don't care about money, it

271
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in turns communicate to them that you don't respect them.

272
00:14:01,519 --> 00:14:04,120
I'm telling you, I didn't seen this story a million times.

273
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,919
I didn't play this game. Do not pass go, do

274
00:14:06,039 --> 00:14:09,159
not collect two hundred dollars. I didn't personally play this game.

275
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,080
But y'all be cool out there, y'all be safe out Yeah.

276
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,440
I didn't play this guy. Y'all know that's a game

277
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,759
I don't play. Never played it. Even when I was

278
00:14:14,759 --> 00:14:17,399
saying the man that was a ups driver he was

279
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,960
handing his check over, I never played that game. But

280
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:24,360
I'm telling you this, even if you don't think it matters,

281
00:14:24,639 --> 00:14:28,600
the man always thinks it matters. Is always going to

282
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,279
matter to him, and he's gonna look up and say,

283
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,200
she must really just don't have a lot of respect

284
00:14:36,279 --> 00:14:38,840
for me, that she is going to make the number one,

285
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,440
my number one societal standard just a wash.

286
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Speaker 3: I mean, he feels less than in that situation. He

287
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,720
can't provide what she provised.

288
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Speaker 2: She can't he can't do what she does. And the

289
00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:49,320
fact that he listen to the story, he had a

290
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,600
double bag in the house, that's all he had. So

291
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,399
what did y'all what were 'a building over the past

292
00:14:53,399 --> 00:14:55,080
four years that y'all move out of state and all

293
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,000
he has his duffle.

294
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Speaker 1: Bag and got him up in there with your child.

295
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:02,639
That's why left say this and huh, let's talk about

296
00:15:02,679 --> 00:15:05,879
it included her nine year old son. Let me tell

297
00:15:05,879 --> 00:15:08,879
you this, sweetheart, you better be glad that man disappeared

298
00:15:08,879 --> 00:15:11,039
and walked his ass out of there because you got

299
00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:15,679
a man. What are you showing your son? Okay, that

300
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,200
you will move a man into the house that can't

301
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,320
provide and that packed up and you saw this nigga

302
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,799
moving out on the ring camera. You women are so

303
00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:30,159
desperate to build a relationship that not only will you

304
00:15:30,399 --> 00:15:33,919
force the relationship like that ponytail, but you also will

305
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:38,840
force the whole dynamics of the relationship of him getting

306
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,840
a job, him finding his passion, him You have the

307
00:15:42,919 --> 00:15:46,480
relationship is all you doing all the work, and you

308
00:15:46,639 --> 00:15:49,720
have not even given this man space and time to

309
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:52,200
create a life for himself that he's going to be

310
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,879
proud of, and then you reap the benefits of that.

311
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Let men instead of trying to help them find a job,

312
00:15:58,879 --> 00:16:00,919
instead of trying to give them a job, instead of

313
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,879
calling your uncle and your daddy, instead of writing his resume,

314
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,279
instead of buying him a button down shirt and a tie.

315
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,600
So go to the job interview. Let this man hit

316
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:15,120
his face on the ground and experience hard times and

317
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,399
build a life that he feels proud of, and you

318
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,679
will automatically reap the benefits of that.

319
00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:23,919
Speaker 2: He's in his forties, financially stable, unwilling me. You're giving

320
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,000
me six months to build a business and he couldn't

321
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,519
do anything with it. He's not what you see in

322
00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:30,240
the future with him. He's never going to be a

323
00:16:30,279 --> 00:16:32,279
person that's going to be reliable, that's going to bring

324
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,120
to the table what you need. You're always going to

325
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,679
be helping him out, getting taking care of him. So

326
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,279
the fact that he left, let him go. He did't

327
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,679
have a heart to tell you. You're spoke about him leaving,

328
00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:43,919
but you should have known leading up to that he

329
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,639
was leaving. Things should have been seen. You should have

330
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:47,559
recognized signs and clear you've been ignoring all the red

331
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,519
flash from the beginning. But something you should have known

332
00:16:49,559 --> 00:16:51,240
that by the time you got back he was leaving.

333
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,519
All that he's packing up while you're gone. That's crazy.

334
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,759
Speaker 1: And then she said that I asked him to stay.

335
00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:04,200
You are This is with love? Okay, this is pathetic behavior.

336
00:17:04,519 --> 00:17:07,519
I always say, there's a certain type of man that

337
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,839
can do a certain type of thing to me. The

338
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:14,079
niggas that I was out here heartbroken crying over there

339
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:18,640
was the specific kind of package that they presented a

340
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:22,240
man that's ten years older than me, that I'm paying

341
00:17:22,279 --> 00:17:26,039
his bills, I'm doing all the work I am providing,

342
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:29,519
can get me to ask him to stay. Y'all don't

343
00:17:29,559 --> 00:17:33,200
have enough pride and enough ego and enough wherewithal. This

344
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,640
is embarrassing. You are the breadwinner to a man that's

345
00:17:37,759 --> 00:17:42,359
ten years of Imagine, y'all ain't talking to my good

346
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:47,039
homeboy a war. He said, if you go white, go rich,

347
00:17:48,039 --> 00:17:51,720
and if you go older, go wealthy. Who the hell

348
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,440
is dating a man ten years older than you? That

349
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,359
you're providing for and then you're trying to give him

350
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,559
a life. I said this on another episode. If you

351
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,640
give a fish to a man that's not a fisherman,

352
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,480
he will come back and ask you for more fish.

353
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,000
You try to give him a life, give him a career,

354
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,799
give him a job, give him passion and determination, which

355
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,480
has to be in you. You try to make a

356
00:18:15,519 --> 00:18:18,559
man a hustler that's not a hustler that is in you.

357
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,119
It can't be bought, it can't be taught. You try

358
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,960
to give him a fish, and what did he do?

359
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,200
Came back and asked for more fish. The man still

360
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,000
ain't got a job, and then got your Dadncy to

361
00:18:29,079 --> 00:18:32,160
move out while you were gone like a coward girl.

362
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:37,200
You should be glad he disappeared. Glad he disappeared. I've

363
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,720
already read out to you the red flags older than you,

364
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,200
not financially stable, and you talking about something you don't

365
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,920
care about finances. You should care about finance. Stop shaming

366
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:51,079
what you should care about finances. It's showed there are

367
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:55,839
people that are successful have tangible skills that people that

368
00:18:55,920 --> 00:19:00,119
are not successful don't have. When you say you care

369
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,680
about how much a man earns, you care about how

370
00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:07,240
smart he is. You care about how disciplined he is.

371
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,759
You care about his ability to problem solve and know

372
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,000
how to get a return on his investment. Those are

373
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:18,799
tangible skills that people that are not successful do not have,

374
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,240
and we have to stop shaming women for one of

375
00:19:21,279 --> 00:19:24,240
those things. You should absolutely care in your thirties if

376
00:19:24,279 --> 00:19:27,400
a man is doing well for himself, absolutely positively you

377
00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:29,880
and you're not getting no award, baby, I don't know

378
00:19:30,519 --> 00:19:33,519
attention to all the women. You're not getting no award

379
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:39,279
for loving a man with no money. There's no damn

380
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:43,480
honoraby award coming your way. Okay, I don't really care

381
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,759
about money. All I care about is love. They're the

382
00:19:45,799 --> 00:19:48,799
ones crying now, All of my friends that married for

383
00:19:49,079 --> 00:19:53,960
and God's relationships for love and not money, they're crying.

384
00:19:55,839 --> 00:19:57,160
You want to cry in the Honda, you want to

385
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,039
cry in the Rose Royce. This is ridiculous. Thirty something

386
00:20:01,079 --> 00:20:05,240
and you're ten years older Fernando, ten years and nine.

387
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,039
Speaker 3: Year old at that. Like he's a poor example.

388
00:20:07,079 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 1: That is a poor example. Shaming yourself. Lock the door,

389
00:20:11,519 --> 00:20:17,880
change the locks. Y'all ever seen lean on me? Close

390
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:22,480
the doors? Lock him down? You need to lock it down.

391
00:20:22,599 --> 00:20:25,039
Do not let this man back in your house. He

392
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,640
I hope he long have left. It's a good thing

393
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,759
for him to be walking around homeless outside of the

394
00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:31,359
double bed. Maybe it'll give him a little bit more hustle,

395
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,039
maybe'll give him some determination. You've been patting it and

396
00:20:35,039 --> 00:20:38,039
and crippling this man this whole time. You should be

397
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,680
glad he disappeared. And I always say, if you talking

398
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,079
to somebody and this person just completely ghost you, sometimes

399
00:20:44,079 --> 00:20:46,319
that's God's way of saying, Oh, you're not gonna listen.

400
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,519
You're not gonna break up with him. You're not gonna

401
00:20:49,559 --> 00:20:51,240
leave that. I'm gonna have him break out of break

402
00:20:51,319 --> 00:20:54,880
up with you out of nowhere. You didn't you never listen.

403
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,680
You gotta get up out of there.

404
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 3: At the minimum, Why do you want? Somebody don't want you?

405
00:20:59,079 --> 00:20:59,759
Did somebody leave?

406
00:20:59,799 --> 00:21:03,440
Speaker 1: By bye? And you and my shit in my house?

407
00:21:03,759 --> 00:21:07,079
No way, jose y'all gotta stop. Anyways, boys, when I

408
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,200
was told you're to see you, he called me a

409
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,839
gold digger after I said no, we had a lot

410
00:21:11,839 --> 00:21:13,079
of financial powers.

411
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,519
Speaker 5: These Thanks Merry Christmas. First of all, I am a

412
00:21:15,599 --> 00:21:17,880
twenty six year old woman and I recently ended a

413
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,400
relationship with a man my age after we were dating

414
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,079
for about four to five months. At first, he was

415
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,880
really sweet, picking me up from work, getting me flowers,

416
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,920
paying for the dates, doing all the things a girl

417
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,960
would love. Early on in our relationship, his sister passed

418
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:35,119
and I did my best to support him emotionally without

419
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,319
draining myself. As time went on, though, the dynamic changed.

420
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:42,599
He became emotionally inconsistent, financially stingy, and he wasn't very

421
00:21:42,599 --> 00:21:45,720
supportive of me, especially when I was in the process

422
00:21:45,759 --> 00:21:47,960
of getting a new job. He also said he wanted

423
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,000
to keep our relationship private and didn't want to post

424
00:21:51,079 --> 00:21:54,160
about us, even though he had posted excess in the past.

425
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,599
He would often get upset if I took random pictures

426
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,200
or videos of us, and over time I realized I

427
00:22:00,279 --> 00:22:02,720
was just shrinking myself to keep the peace. During our

428
00:22:02,759 --> 00:22:06,319
breakup conversation and only after I pressed him, he admitted

429
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,039
that because of past relationship trauma, he was afraid to

430
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,720
fully love and couldn't reciprocate what I needed from him,

431
00:22:13,759 --> 00:22:15,920
and after the breakup, I felt really sad, so I

432
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,799
reached out. In this conversation, I jokingly suggested a parting gift.

433
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,000
His response was saying that we could have sex instead,

434
00:22:23,079 --> 00:22:25,359
and when I declined it and said that I don't

435
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,640
have sex with men that I'm not committed to or

436
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,880
at least with, he then said that he wasn't going

437
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,440
to spend money on a woman he wasn't pursuing. He

438
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:34,720
called me a gold digger and said that is why

439
00:22:34,759 --> 00:22:37,640
he couldn't commit to me. And after this, I lost

440
00:22:37,759 --> 00:22:40,200
all respect for him. In that moment, I just ended

441
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,519
the conversation for good and got myself together. Now that

442
00:22:43,559 --> 00:22:46,319
I'm focused on myself and moving forward, I really want

443
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,799
some advice on how to avoid emotionally broken men altogether.

444
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,119
How do I recognize the signs when someone hasn't fully

445
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,039
healed yet, even if they seemed kind, sweet and self

446
00:22:56,079 --> 00:22:59,319
aware at first, And how do I stop myself from

447
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,960
staying one I see the signs. Thank you so much

448
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,880
for your insight. I love your podcast and I hope

449
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:04,519
you get back to me.

450
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:14,079
Speaker 1: This, to me, is a prime example of man like.

451
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:17,680
There's a difference between a man not being healed and

452
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:22,720
that that trauma turning into hatred. Have you seen this

453
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:26,079
where the men are at the birthday dinner and a

454
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,039
woman is not my birthday, and a man don't even

455
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,920
crack a smile. These men hate you. And when a

456
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:36,319
man it's not just he's getting upset that you're taking videos.

457
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,039
He doesn't like you, he doesn't want your company, and

458
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:44,680
he actually has a deep seated hatred towards women. And

459
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:49,119
it sounds like a very strong statement, but now you're

460
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,559
getting this revealed to you that because of the women

461
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,839
in the past, he's finding it hard to commit and

462
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,920
all of these other things that type of hurts a

463
00:24:00,079 --> 00:24:04,440
and disappointment. Real relationships not working out could very well

464
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:09,160
turn into like I'm talking about, so like harsh discontent

465
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:16,119
and hatred for women like his His heart can definitely

466
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,440
soften up, but I feel like he's in a space

467
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,359
where he just literally just doesn't like you. Somebody that's

468
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,319
a joy stealer where you're like, oh my god, baby,

469
00:24:25,319 --> 00:24:27,319
you know, and you're taking a video and this person's

470
00:24:27,319 --> 00:24:31,640
getting upset that you're taking a video. I think that

471
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,400
that is like there's something about the love that you

472
00:24:35,519 --> 00:24:38,559
all are sharing, sharing and the relationship that they have

473
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:44,720
resentment about, and it stems from hatred. It's not necessarily you,

474
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:49,359
but it's the companionship it's the failures, it's the disappointment.

475
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,599
It's the women that he loved that didn't that got away.

476
00:24:52,839 --> 00:24:55,359
A lot of men, I'm telling you, a lot of

477
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:59,440
men are mean to you because the woman that he

478
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:02,920
fucking won't, he fumbled, or there is a one that

479
00:25:03,039 --> 00:25:06,079
got away, and so they're trying to get over it,

480
00:25:06,279 --> 00:25:10,119
and you're getting the short end and resentment of the

481
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,720
short end of the stick and all the resentment. There

482
00:25:12,759 --> 00:25:17,200
are men that are mean to you because the woman

483
00:25:17,319 --> 00:25:19,759
that he wants to be with he does not have

484
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,799
access to. And he's already talked about his past and

485
00:25:22,839 --> 00:25:25,599
how these women ain't you know whatever. And I think

486
00:25:25,599 --> 00:25:28,160
that that's a big reason why he's just unsettled in

487
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,440
a relationship. I don't think he ever really was fully in.

488
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 2: It, Like maybe he was even almost in his mind

489
00:25:35,039 --> 00:25:37,400
selling with her because she wasn't a girl that he wanted.

490
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,440
You know, she's trying to get a job and everything else.

491
00:25:39,519 --> 00:25:41,079
So he was like, you know, his ex, so hepy

492
00:25:41,079 --> 00:25:42,359
he was done with before she was this.

493
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: She was that posted them. Did you hear her say

494
00:25:44,519 --> 00:25:45,920
that he posted them?

495
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:46,079
Speaker 3: So?

496
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if it's a look sting

497
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,119
or if it's a style thing or what is keeping

498
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,079
him from posting you. But that's a clear sign that

499
00:25:53,079 --> 00:25:54,279
he don't want to post you and he don't want

500
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:55,599
these pictures, he want to have videos.

501
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:56,839
Speaker 3: He don't want to cherish these moments.

502
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:01,559
Speaker 1: Yes, so thanks you, and again it's not you like

503
00:26:01,799 --> 00:26:05,960
what you represent is just a place that he does

504
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,480
not want to be. Like you said, a lot of

505
00:26:08,519 --> 00:26:12,119
these men, they the woman that he wants to be

506
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,559
with he's not with, so he's with you to kind

507
00:26:16,599 --> 00:26:19,279
of get over it and to present as he's not

508
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,599
hurt and trying to move forward with another woman. And

509
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:27,440
you will see so many microaggressions and mean behavior, like

510
00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:29,920
why you taking a video of us? Because he don't

511
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,319
want to be with you. He wants to be with

512
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,079
the woman that either they broke up, that distim that

513
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,960
went on and found somebody else. There's a woman that

514
00:26:38,039 --> 00:26:40,720
he wants access to that he can't have. He's trying

515
00:26:40,759 --> 00:26:42,960
to get over it by being with you, and in turn,

516
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,440
he actually hates you. He hates the whole relationship. And

517
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,720
there's a lot of men out here like that. They

518
00:26:48,799 --> 00:26:51,400
want to be with somebody else, and you are getting

519
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,640
the meanest version of them. Because the woman that he

520
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,680
wants he can't be with.

521
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,319
Speaker 2: And it's the fact that he don't want to have

522
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:00,440
videos and pictures. Is that those are man memories that

523
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,559
I want to cherish. I want to remember those things.

524
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,400
He don't want to remember you. He don't want to

525
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,400
keep you forever. He don't have idea of you forever.

526
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:07,720
That's why you don't have pictures and videos.

527
00:27:07,799 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 3: She's good.

528
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: It's just like, no, how do you spot emotionally unavailable

529
00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:21,079
or unheald men before you're attached. I think that even

530
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,680
after the breakup, when she reached out, she said, we

531
00:27:24,839 --> 00:27:30,279
could give each other a parting gift, y'all I have

532
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:35,000
I have never seen such a desperate quest for love, y'all.

533
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,519
And this is with love friend, a parting gift. After

534
00:27:38,559 --> 00:27:40,640
you reached out and you were kind of hurt about

535
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,000
it and he said we can have sex instead, you

536
00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:47,880
took You wanted again, you wanted a memory, You want

537
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,400
a loving, romantic moment with him, and he was like, oh,

538
00:27:51,519 --> 00:27:55,680
we can go to Poundtown on the way out. You've

539
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,359
seen this behavior before and you didn't listen. I'm telling you,

540
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,920
a man, the amount of women that I hear that

541
00:28:02,039 --> 00:28:04,240
say he was so nice, and he was so sweet,

542
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,880
and he courted me before, and he was just and

543
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,359
then all of a sudden, it never was all of

544
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,880
a sudden. You miss the small, minuscule things. It never

545
00:28:14,039 --> 00:28:16,680
was all of a sudden. How do you stop ignoring

546
00:28:16,759 --> 00:28:19,440
red flags in real time and leave when it's time?

547
00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:23,400
I think that you have to have a commitment to yourself.

548
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,240
How do you when you ignore red flag and you stay?

549
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,960
That is just you telling yourself that number one, you're

550
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,559
hoping for a change, or you're hoping for an outcome

551
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:38,559
that hasn't even you have no inclink of seeing. Never

552
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,839
let your eyes lead you, but never let your mind. No,

553
00:28:43,359 --> 00:28:45,559
Never let your heart lead you to a place your

554
00:28:45,559 --> 00:28:49,519
eyes haven't seen. A lot of women have let their

555
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:54,079
heart lead them to a place their eyes have never seen.

556
00:28:54,559 --> 00:28:57,799
Your heart is leading you in love and like and

557
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,559
lust and romance with a man who has no rest.

558
00:29:01,599 --> 00:29:04,480
You literally have never seen where your heart is. Already,

559
00:29:06,039 --> 00:29:08,920
you gotta see it. You have to see this person's

560
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,559
behavior and their consistency and how they're showing up for

561
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:16,000
you before you let your heart go. I always say

562
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,960
I don't like you till you love me. Okay, I'm

563
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,960
a see first where we're going before I get deep

564
00:29:23,079 --> 00:29:26,079
down involved, and a lot of y'all, your heart has

565
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,160
led you to a place. You have no receipts, You

566
00:29:29,279 --> 00:29:32,920
have no actual visuals of what this man is capable

567
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,640
of doing. And again, this is where you went. The

568
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,119
dates and dates aren't enough. You need hard times, You

569
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:43,440
need grief, You need things happening. You need somebody losing

570
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,279
their job, somebody angry. You need to see them in

571
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,960
road rage. You need to see them when all of

572
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:53,000
these scenarios and your heart five steps ahead, and you

573
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,960
don't actually have receipts on who this person is.

574
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,519
Speaker 2: Yes, she needs once she knows it, let him know

575
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,440
what her birth is, and then stand on your worth.

576
00:30:01,599 --> 00:30:04,599
If he's not treating you as such, leave That's when

577
00:30:04,599 --> 00:30:07,000
you know. If be so confident in yourself, know what

578
00:30:07,079 --> 00:30:09,519
your work, know what's owed to you, know what you deserve.

579
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,000
If you're not receiving it, let it go and don't

580
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,880
gilt yourself for wanting better for yourself or expecting better,

581
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:15,759
because you deserve better.

582
00:30:15,799 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 3: That's how you should move.

583
00:30:17,039 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: The amount of women that don't communicate boundaries because they

584
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,960
think that they're going to lose the person. Y'all, the

585
00:30:24,319 --> 00:30:28,559
biggest trick in the book is to actually communicate your

586
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,799
standards and stand on them. I promise you you make

587
00:30:31,839 --> 00:30:35,200
these men more curious about you. The amount of men

588
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,319
that have been like, oh, you know, hey, well can

589
00:30:37,359 --> 00:30:39,920
you meet me at this restaurant, for example, and I'll

590
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,640
be like, hey, you know, it would be nice if

591
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,759
you could either pick me up or send me a car.

592
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,200
I don't ever get a man to say that says no.

593
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,279
But even if they were to come back and be

594
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,519
like you ain't got no car, or you don't drive,

595
00:30:53,799 --> 00:30:56,279
or you know why I gotta why we can't just

596
00:30:56,319 --> 00:30:59,119
meet there, I'll just be like, hey, no worries, that's

597
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,559
just not gonna work for me. The amount of times

598
00:31:01,599 --> 00:31:04,519
I have pulled this scenario where I'm willing to let

599
00:31:04,599 --> 00:31:08,079
it go anything that don't serve me or is not

600
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,039
what I want to do. If I willing to walk away,

601
00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:13,720
I promise you those men always come back when I'm

602
00:31:13,759 --> 00:31:16,160
just like, no, I'm good out there, I'm cool, that's

603
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,400
not something I'm interested in, that's not any something I

604
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,279
want to do. I'm not I'm not gonna deal with that.

605
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,880
They always come back when I stand firm on it,

606
00:31:24,079 --> 00:31:27,960
and I'm literally like, I feel no kind of way

607
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:33,319
that that what they're presenting would exit my life. They alway,

608
00:31:33,559 --> 00:31:36,079
I promise you. It could be two weeks, it could

609
00:31:36,119 --> 00:31:38,680
be two months, it could be two years. The men

610
00:31:38,759 --> 00:31:42,759
always text me back. Men are curious about women that

611
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,880
stand on what they say and that they just like, okay, cool,

612
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,519
because I think men are used to bullying women with

613
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,279
what they're gonna do, and when you meet a woman

614
00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:58,039
that's just like, no, I'm cool, okay, no no problem,

615
00:31:58,079 --> 00:32:01,200
no problem at all. That's just not gonna work for me.

616
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,119
I always end up getting it anywhere, I always end

617
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,160
up getting it. I'm telling you, if you want to

618
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,240
walk away, that man gonna belying. Who is Wait a

619
00:32:10,279 --> 00:32:13,279
minute now, who is that? I wish more women knew that.

620
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,839
Y'all give up too soon, y'all, do not run the play.

621
00:32:17,119 --> 00:32:20,880
Run the play. You have to run the play. These

622
00:32:21,039 --> 00:32:23,519
men will give you what you They're testing you. It's

623
00:32:23,599 --> 00:32:27,039
just a test, y'all. Just feel the test. Stuff front anyways,

624
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,279
voice my number three, there to see you, the sweet

625
00:32:30,279 --> 00:32:34,440
spot between nice and blunt, There to see you.

626
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 6: I'm noticing that when I like a guy, I'm usually

627
00:32:38,359 --> 00:32:41,319
very very extremely nice. I mean, at least for the

628
00:32:41,359 --> 00:32:44,680
first few months until I get in really good. But

629
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:48,359
then I realized, once I get in good, the real

630
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,920
me comes out and I can be kind of mean.

631
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,680
Not mean in a way I'm hitting on them, being

632
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,440
abusive or anything like that, but just very much blunt

633
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,880
boundary setting, which is something I know I should do

634
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,759
from the very beginning. However, I notice when I'm that

635
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,519
mean girl, I can kind of get what I want

636
00:33:08,519 --> 00:33:10,440
out of it. How do I keep that going without

637
00:33:10,519 --> 00:33:14,440
being a bitch all the time? How do I find

638
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:18,200
a middle ground, kind of like a sweet spot.

639
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:27,039
Speaker 1: I think that the mean girl thing is a sweet spot.

640
00:33:27,279 --> 00:33:30,799
I genuinely think that it is. I also want to

641
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,400
say that I think that what she's doing is manipulative.

642
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,920
I think that what you're doing is manipulative, and you

643
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:44,160
have to grow up right. I think that the men

644
00:33:44,519 --> 00:33:49,839
that like the honeysweet person that you're presenting and then

645
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,720
you flip and turn. If this was a man doing this,

646
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,160
y'all would be y'all will be screaming to the mountaintops.

647
00:33:56,519 --> 00:34:00,880
This is very manipulative to present swa girl and then

648
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,960
turn into a bitch overnight. You cannot do that. What

649
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,159
you should do is put on your big girl panties

650
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,719
and if you if you're the real you, is the

651
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,360
see what you catch with the real you. Don't get

652
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:20,079
somebody hooked on you by being presenting a false representative

653
00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:26,519
and then turn like it's so gas lighty. It's so

654
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:32,039
manipulative because now you have somebody emotionally involved and they're like,

655
00:34:32,079 --> 00:34:36,079
oh my god, she's so sweet, and then they're waiting

656
00:34:36,119 --> 00:34:42,239
for that person to return. It's very, very, very manipulative,

657
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,000
and you have to stop. I also would implore you

658
00:34:46,079 --> 00:34:49,639
to look at why are you why you present the

659
00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:53,199
sweet girl? First? What is that about? Is it that

660
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,880
you can't be the real you? Is it that you

661
00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,840
are subliminately trying to manipulate these mean?

662
00:34:58,960 --> 00:34:59,079
Speaker 5: Like?

663
00:34:59,159 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 1: What is it as to why you're not your entire self?

664
00:35:04,559 --> 00:35:06,679
Speaker 3: I mean just I mean what am I missing? Friend?

665
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,079
Because make it make sense?

666
00:35:08,159 --> 00:35:10,079
Speaker 2: If you sit down and say when you're meaning to them,

667
00:35:10,079 --> 00:35:12,480
when you're bold, and when you're that way, they actually

668
00:35:12,519 --> 00:35:13,519
like you more, they do more.

669
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 3: Then why not just do that? From the jump, Well, that's.

670
00:35:15,679 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 1: The real you. Hello with the real eminem still, please,

671
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,360
real slum shiny, please stand.

672
00:35:20,199 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 3: Up we want you to come as you.

673
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 2: I don't want to come at a representative of you,

674
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:25,719
this nice, sweet girl that ain't really you. And I

675
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:27,440
got to switch switch and learn this other person. Now

676
00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:29,039
I can do with this other person, the other style

677
00:35:29,079 --> 00:35:30,519
of you. And like you said, waiting to come, wait

678
00:35:30,559 --> 00:35:31,840
for the cute girl to come back, wait for the

679
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,559
nice girl to come back. Sound stuck with this itch?

680
00:35:34,599 --> 00:35:35,519
And I don't want to do it with the itch.

681
00:35:35,599 --> 00:35:38,079
I don't, and I don't, but I don't get why not?

682
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,760
Why don't you want to be yourself from the beginning,

683
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,559
Because it should be easier to be yourself in the beginning,

684
00:35:42,559 --> 00:35:44,360
It should be more comfortable for you, and then you

685
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,559
all can grow organically being each other, being each other's natural,

686
00:35:47,639 --> 00:35:48,559
genuine selves.

687
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think also too. I think you're right.

688
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:56,000
It's something there, because if you know that you get

689
00:35:56,159 --> 00:35:59,119
more of what you want when you are your true self,

690
00:36:01,519 --> 00:36:11,239
why aren't you being that person? I personally think to me,

691
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:16,320
it's that women do that when they can actually get

692
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,079
the caliber of man that they want. And that is

693
00:36:19,119 --> 00:36:21,840
a hard truth to swallow, But a lot of times,

694
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,599
when you can't actually get the caliber of men that

695
00:36:24,639 --> 00:36:28,320
you want, you play sweet and then you big dog them,

696
00:36:28,559 --> 00:36:30,199
and then it seems like, oh, I can get this

697
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,679
man to do whatever. I won't always say it don't

698
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:34,440
count if it's a lame or a nigga that you

699
00:36:34,519 --> 00:36:36,440
don't like. It don't count that you're getting a man

700
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,280
to fly you out if you don't really like him.

701
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,360
But he got one leg and one eye. So it's

702
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:44,960
like you plan sweet to these mediocre dudes and then

703
00:36:45,039 --> 00:36:47,639
you coming in and you're like, oh, I'm getting him

704
00:36:47,679 --> 00:36:52,559
to do everything? Well, was he a big fish? I

705
00:36:52,599 --> 00:36:55,079
feel like women do that when it's not really a

706
00:36:55,119 --> 00:36:57,719
big fish, when they know that the guy is kind

707
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:01,920
of like already like them more than they like. Then

708
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,800
she likes him and then they play sweet and then

709
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,000
kind of one up them, and now it's giving the

710
00:37:07,159 --> 00:37:10,440
illusion that, like, girl, he'll drink my dirty bath. No,

711
00:37:10,559 --> 00:37:14,960
you found a goldfish in a pond that you big dog,

712
00:37:15,159 --> 00:37:16,719
and now you're trying to make it seem like you

713
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,440
just you just got him at your back and call.

714
00:37:18,679 --> 00:37:20,280
I feel like, try that ship with a man that

715
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,840
you actually want to be with. Try that with a

716
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,239
man that you like. Oh my gosh, this is my

717
00:37:25,519 --> 00:37:27,559
entire list that I want on paper. A lot of

718
00:37:27,559 --> 00:37:30,039
women act like that when they know that they're playing

719
00:37:30,079 --> 00:37:33,079
those games on men that they wouldn't really take seriously

720
00:37:33,559 --> 00:37:35,599
or that that's not their ideal men.

721
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 2: Now you can manipulate mediocre effort in somebody that's actually

722
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,880
like a real man, a real boss, a real leader

723
00:37:43,159 --> 00:37:43,519
with him.

724
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:45,559
Speaker 4: Them.

725
00:37:45,679 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that it's really comes from women that

726
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:55,880
literally like these men are not their ideal they're not

727
00:37:56,159 --> 00:37:59,400
the men that they would actually want to be with.

728
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:04,480
The are like lukewarm contenders, right, they're like, oh, he

729
00:38:04,519 --> 00:38:06,800
ain't half bad, but he's not really my type or

730
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:10,039
he's not and then they like she said, they're sweet,

731
00:38:10,559 --> 00:38:13,360
flip nice, and then it gives a flip me and

732
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,920
then it gives the illusion that they just got him

733
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,679
doing whatever, and it's like you didn't really go for

734
00:38:20,079 --> 00:38:23,280
the real guy that you wanted, and now it makes

735
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,719
it seem like you have a lot more control and

736
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:30,199
power than you actually do. I think it's immature. I

737
00:38:30,199 --> 00:38:33,679
think it's very petty. I think it's manipulative. I think

738
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:41,320
that it is we don't we don't talk enough about

739
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:47,239
women that are narcissists, But there are, y'all, there are

740
00:38:47,519 --> 00:38:52,400
women that are narcissists and this it's giving real narky,

741
00:38:52,639 --> 00:38:57,239
real narky vibes, okay, narco vibes, And you gotta check that.

742
00:38:57,679 --> 00:39:00,360
You have to check that. I think that I think

743
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,400
that you should go pay the lady about this, and

744
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:08,840
I think that you really have to Don't be scandalous, okay.

745
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,480
I always say for women, there's a difference from being

746
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,800
a city girl and having fun and running up that

747
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:18,159
dinner tab when you don't plan on being with them

748
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,920
or whatever. That's just kind of like the nature of

749
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:25,159
the game. But you don't want to be scandalous to

750
00:39:25,199 --> 00:39:30,239
the point that you're changing somebody's nervous system. And now

751
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:33,519
other women are meeting this man beat up tatter because

752
00:39:33,559 --> 00:39:35,360
they fell in love with a sweet girl that turned

753
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,039
out to be a bitch that had no intentions on

754
00:39:37,119 --> 00:39:41,119
being with him. Don't be scandalous. City girl and scandalous

755
00:39:41,199 --> 00:39:43,079
is two different things. And I think that a lot

756
00:39:43,159 --> 00:39:45,159
of women have to check theirselves. There are women out

757
00:39:45,159 --> 00:39:47,239
here that are dragging men through stuff that they don't

758
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,559
have to go through. They shouldn't. You have to grow up.

759
00:39:49,599 --> 00:39:52,599
You have to be responsible. Somebody has to have the

760
00:39:52,639 --> 00:39:55,480
social responsibilities to say, hey, I think you're a little

761
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,000
bit more in this than I am. And I've had

762
00:39:58,039 --> 00:40:00,559
to have those conversations men that I you like me

763
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,119
way more than I will ever like them. And I

764
00:40:03,159 --> 00:40:05,000
had to be the one because I have the social

765
00:40:05,039 --> 00:40:09,119
responsibility to say like, I don't think we're in alignment here,

766
00:40:09,519 --> 00:40:11,159
and I don't want to waste your time. And I

767
00:40:11,199 --> 00:40:13,320
want you to find somebody that's the person for you.

768
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,760
Stop faking it if this person is not the one

769
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,119
for you, and you being a mean girl is what

770
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,440
you get the most out. Go find a man that's

771
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:23,599
in your league.

772
00:40:23,519 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 2: Almost like an opportunist, just because he's he's willing to

773
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,119
be manipulated, manipulated him. You played them because you could

774
00:40:29,119 --> 00:40:29,480
play him.

775
00:40:30,199 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 1: Don't do that. People. You gotta grow up. System, you

776
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,280
gotta grow up. And it's very manipulousy of what you're doing.

777
00:40:37,599 --> 00:40:40,719
And I'm telling you karma. Karma is a real one.

778
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,840
You gonna find a man that you actually love, love love,

779
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,679
love love, and he gonna do the same shit to

780
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,639
you that you did to the men. I'm telling you

781
00:40:47,639 --> 00:40:50,159
what I heard, I'm telling you what I know. Anyways,

782
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:55,559
on to my beat. You smell good segments, perfect, thank

783
00:40:55,639 --> 00:41:01,760
you this is by number nine. I don't think I

784
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,800
know this for them number nine. Now y'all know how

785
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:08,639
I feel about this line. I have some hits and

786
00:41:08,679 --> 00:41:12,119
I have some missus. Okay, I have probably like six

787
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:21,800
from this collection. I don't have. Oh, I don't have

788
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,639
any fragrance from Bond number nine that if I die

789
00:41:24,679 --> 00:41:27,480
tomorrow I would ask to put in my casket. But

790
00:41:27,559 --> 00:41:29,800
here we are. This is another one that I want

791
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:33,360
to love. I want to love Bond number nine as

792
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,400
a fragrance house. But I feel like for the price

793
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,480
and the projection, we have a problem. He overpeat, price

794
00:41:43,519 --> 00:41:47,679
over projection. We have a problem. Okay, So, but I'm

795
00:41:47,679 --> 00:41:50,559
a consumer. I want to love it. I like the

796
00:41:50,559 --> 00:41:53,400
way it looks, you know, the reputation of ay here

797
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,360
I am anyway, this is no leader, all right, I've

798
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,599
gotten a lot of compliments from men while wearing this.

799
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,639
I will will say this. This is a fresh floral,

800
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:07,920
woody musk. The top notes are tangerine freezer, a fresh,

801
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,000
juicy citrus floral burst that feels vibrant and uplifting right away.

802
00:42:12,199 --> 00:42:16,440
The middle notes are Jasmine's sandback lily rose, and the

803
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:22,000
bass notes are amber sandalwood musk warm, central dry down

804
00:42:22,039 --> 00:42:25,559
with woody and cozy, creamy elements. Okay, I would say

805
00:42:25,599 --> 00:42:27,079
on skull of one and ten, this is like a

806
00:42:27,159 --> 00:42:30,360
six in my collection, like not the worst, not the best,

807
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:34,679
but I've been spraying it. Okay, let's just say that. Okay,

808
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:38,199
so Fernando and now I'm gonna try it. Let's see

809
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:43,599
what we got. Let me use the other arm. The

810
00:42:43,679 --> 00:42:44,199
men love this.

811
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 3: Honestly, I can definitely see my woman wearing this.

812
00:42:48,599 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 1: Again. I think, y'all. I think that it's just you know,

813
00:42:52,079 --> 00:42:55,639
I'm not a fresh, fruity floral girl, but I think

814
00:42:55,679 --> 00:42:59,559
that this actually has depth, Like this is a grown scent.

815
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:04,199
It's I'm giving bathroom body works. It's not giving like

816
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:08,360
this has. The scent profile is very intricate, and you

817
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:12,000
can tell that it has it has been blended. Well. Anyways,

818
00:43:12,519 --> 00:43:18,079
I would actually recommend this fragrance. It's it's pretty low down,

819
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:23,400
like we kind of low on the it's low down, No, Lita,

820
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,800
I could swing it. I could swing it. I've used

821
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,920
this quite a lot, y'all. I would say again, this

822
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:34,480
is probably six or seven in my collection. If I

823
00:43:34,519 --> 00:43:36,079
die tomorrow, would I take it with me?

824
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 5: No?

825
00:43:37,679 --> 00:43:41,760
Speaker 1: But while I'm alive. I'm spraying it, y'all, got it?

826
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:42,400
Speaker 6: You with it?

827
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:44,199
Speaker 3: They're gonna smell it.

828
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: You walking the room, You're gonna smell. That's what I'm saying.

829
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:49,159
This skis has be smol This is a cousin of

830
00:43:49,199 --> 00:43:52,679
a b smoll fragrance. Even though it's fresh and floral,

831
00:43:53,039 --> 00:43:56,800
it does have longevity. It does have projection, it does

832
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,039
has ciage, and I do think that it is a

833
00:44:00,199 --> 00:44:06,159
sexy fresh fragrance. There is grown. I would not give

834
00:44:06,199 --> 00:44:09,920
this to my eighteen year old goddaughter. This is I'd

835
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,519
be like, hold on now, who think you are? Step

836
00:44:12,599 --> 00:44:15,000
back like you can this. This is a little bit

837
00:44:15,039 --> 00:44:17,039
out of your league, and that's a good thing for me.

838
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:20,199
Like I like to wear adult fragrances. So this is

839
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:22,480
an adult fresh floor.

840
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 3: That's a good woman smell right now.

841
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:30,519
Speaker 1: Grown woman smell. Okay, red flag reports, no ring, no paperwork,

842
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:36,079
Oh my gosh, no real security. I got a glimpse, y'all.

843
00:44:36,119 --> 00:44:37,880
I don't actually like to read and read it before

844
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,960
I get on because I like my raw reaction. Okay,

845
00:44:40,199 --> 00:44:43,800
red flag report, no ring, no paperwork, no real security.

846
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,159
After nearly a decade of presenting as husband, and wife.

847
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:53,000
When DC's Harris just confirmed when many love and hip

848
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,559
hop fans suspect it, he and Yandy Smith were never

849
00:44:57,639 --> 00:45:02,719
legally married and now they're no longer together. We're not together.

850
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,519
We never legally married. It was Yandy's idea, Mendc shared

851
00:45:07,559 --> 00:45:10,440
on the streets ninety four point five, adding that due

852
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:14,239
to his legal issues, they had two ceremonies but never

853
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:19,079
signed the papers. The two first had their lavish televised

854
00:45:19,119 --> 00:45:22,760
wedding in twenty fifteen and for years built a blended family,

855
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:26,039
co parented and publicly operated as a unit, but in

856
00:45:26,079 --> 00:45:29,079
the end, no documents were ever signed and no divorce

857
00:45:29,119 --> 00:45:33,960
would be required. Even mend C's acknowledged that Yandy changed

858
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,719
him as a man, describing her as someone who helped

859
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:41,599
him mature, see family differently, and open up emotionally, but

860
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:46,519
ultimately we just couldn't get on the same page. Meanwhile,

861
00:45:46,599 --> 00:45:51,159
Yandy hasn't commented directly, but her cryptic social media posts

862
00:45:51,199 --> 00:45:56,400
suggests emotional betrayal, disappointment, and boundary setting. Let's unpack it.

863
00:45:57,679 --> 00:46:04,239
Nine years, two kids, public appearances, no legal protection. Was

864
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:09,000
this emotional commitment with our legal commitment or emotional labor

865
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:14,639
with our legal recognition. If you're doing all of the

866
00:46:14,679 --> 00:46:18,400
work of a marriage but never make it official, are

867
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:23,800
you protecting your heart or avoiding true accountability? First of all,

868
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:30,719
I love Yandy. Paul's fool stop. I love Yandy. I

869
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:34,559
got Yandy on a text. I've met her many times.

870
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,280
I was just in Ghana with Yandy. I didn't get

871
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,119
to catch up with her, but we both were texting

872
00:46:39,199 --> 00:46:41,840
while we were in Ghana. I have a lot of

873
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:45,079
respect for Yandy, and I love Yandy. I really wanted

874
00:46:45,079 --> 00:46:48,119
this to work. Okay, let the record show. Let the

875
00:46:48,159 --> 00:47:02,320
record say that I think that we I don't think

876
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:07,280
I liked how I don't like men that run to

877
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:15,760
the mic, you know. I think that she kept it.

878
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,760
She kept it hush, you know, And a lot of

879
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:23,039
the things that he did and how she orchestrated her

880
00:47:23,199 --> 00:47:26,519
union with me in DC's was all because Andy's a

881
00:47:26,559 --> 00:47:33,239
business woman first. I think that that's just in her nature.

882
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,679
I think that she's a business woman first. And it's

883
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:37,840
not to say that she didn't love him the same

884
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,960
or it takes away for how much she loved him.

885
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,880
But I think that there are women that can see

886
00:47:46,119 --> 00:47:52,679
the can see overarching without getting into the neck of

887
00:47:52,679 --> 00:47:55,360
the woods and weeds. And I'm actually somebody like that,

888
00:47:56,000 --> 00:48:00,000
I don't care how much I love you, miss you,

889
00:48:00,119 --> 00:48:02,719
want to be with you. I'm somebody that's a full

890
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,840
picture kind of person. And I think that the fact

891
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,840
that they didn't have papers and they weren't legally married

892
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:13,000
makes it seem like they weren't really committed. But I

893
00:48:13,039 --> 00:48:17,760
think that Yandy just saw things overarching. She saw his

894
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:24,480
legal sticky shit happening with the legalities of Mendc's and

895
00:48:24,559 --> 00:48:27,679
I think it put restrictions on what they thought was

896
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:32,320
feasible moving forward, in terms of assets, in terms of accounts,

897
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:35,039
in terms of finances, and things like that. And so

898
00:48:35,199 --> 00:48:39,559
I think that overarching she was she led with her

899
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,119
her brain and not with her heart. Not that her

900
00:48:43,119 --> 00:48:46,480
heart lacked less than her brain, but overarching things just

901
00:48:46,599 --> 00:48:49,440
made more sense, probably not to put things on paper.

902
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,159
And that is just an assumption that I am making.

903
00:48:53,119 --> 00:48:57,440
What I will say is that I don't know exactly

904
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:04,239
what inspired but I'm gonna tell you this. The day

905
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:11,360
I married my husband, and we go through ten years,

906
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:17,119
I pray that there is some type of mutual respect

907
00:49:18,039 --> 00:49:22,599
of some sort that we want to keep the dignity

908
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,880
in the case that it ends. Please don't let me

909
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,199
get a fucking mic master that wants to run and

910
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:33,719
talk about like you took the first fucking podcast opportunity

911
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,760
that you had. Were not together? Did you see that shit?

912
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:37,440
Speaker 4: You see that interview?

913
00:49:38,159 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 1: Did you see it?

914
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:39,320
Speaker 3: Watch it?

915
00:49:39,679 --> 00:49:39,840
Speaker 5: Oh?

916
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 1: I did so, so so so what's what's going on

917
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:44,280
with you and Yandy?

918
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:45,039
Speaker 3: Oh?

919
00:49:45,199 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 1: Oh we're not together right now? It's just like he

920
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,840
didn't even there was no couth, right, Like, I want

921
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,599
a man that's like, keep your shit tight, even if

922
00:49:54,599 --> 00:49:56,880
you don't fuck with me, right, you gotta watch the

923
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,400
person that you marry is not the person that you divorce.

924
00:50:00,119 --> 00:50:02,480
I want to be with a man that like, even

925
00:50:02,519 --> 00:50:05,280
on my worst day, that he has a level of

926
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:08,199
respect for me, that he has a level of tight

927
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:11,119
lip that that it's like, oh, not not me and

928
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,280
not not on me in mine that's so the mother

929
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,920
your children, right, not not for me and my family. Like,

930
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,480
I want to be with the man that even when

931
00:50:19,519 --> 00:50:23,760
I divorce him, that he handles me with respect and

932
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:27,039
dignity and he don't want me to be trashed by

933
00:50:27,039 --> 00:50:29,840
the media. Some of this shit be like, were y'all

934
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,679
even married? The way, y'all take it to hell so fast,

935
00:50:35,079 --> 00:50:37,719
pat post and remy scene.

936
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:39,760
Speaker 2: He said, and like and why are exposed? Like why

937
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,360
is the man coming out? That's just a weird thing.

938
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,920
It's like why the men talking like that's a woman

939
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:45,679
think women and gospel sort of for the men to

940
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,400
run to do. It's almost like trying to avoid fault

941
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,119
or trying to point to blame first. So before she

942
00:50:49,119 --> 00:50:50,320
can say it, I'm gonna say it first.

943
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,199
Speaker 3: It's like no respect for your units.

944
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 2: I'll built all these years spent you throwing it down,

945
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:57,559
You're wasting it like this, you crying about it on nah, bro,

946
00:50:58,360 --> 00:50:59,159
Like keep.

947
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 3: It to yourself, keep between y'all, y'all together, no more.

948
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,599
That's cool. Why ain't nobody else business?

949
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:08,519
Speaker 1: It's so there are men out here that walked away

950
00:51:08,639 --> 00:51:10,840
and people didn't know their side of the story, where

951
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,000
people thought that they were the villain, that they were

952
00:51:13,039 --> 00:51:15,199
the bad guy, that they were the one that broke

953
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,360
it off, that they were the one that cheated and lied,

954
00:51:17,599 --> 00:51:21,000
and they never told their story right. And it's automatically

955
00:51:21,159 --> 00:51:26,840
a public empathy for the woman. Lord, please let that

956
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:28,880
kind of man find me, Like that's the kind of

957
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,480
and again not and I want to be the woman

958
00:51:31,519 --> 00:51:34,519
for him where I'm just like, not too much. I

959
00:51:34,559 --> 00:51:37,000
know we're not together right now. I know that we're

960
00:51:37,039 --> 00:51:41,840
getting a divorce, but not too much. I don't want

961
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,880
to take it to hell. After I've been married and

962
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,440
with somebody for years and years and years and then

963
00:51:47,519 --> 00:51:50,639
we separate and now it's just the gloves are off.

964
00:51:51,199 --> 00:51:52,599
I don't want to be I don't want to be

965
00:51:52,639 --> 00:51:54,559
with that kind of person. And I feel like it

966
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,400
just was a cheap shot for you to go on

967
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:01,280
a podcast and be like, you know, together right now,

968
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,760
and you told the churches been like and it's just like,

969
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:09,760
come on, man, like again, I don't know who hurt who.

970
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:12,320
I don't know what was lost. I don't know who cheated.

971
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:15,840
I don't know. I don't quite know. But I still like, ma'am,

972
00:52:16,559 --> 00:52:19,639
for better or for worse, I want to be with

973
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:23,960
somebody that still holds me. You know what I'm saying

974
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,639
with a certain level of respect that they don't want

975
00:52:28,639 --> 00:52:30,480
to they want to burn into hell, even if I

976
00:52:30,559 --> 00:52:32,400
was the one that was wrong, even if I did

977
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:35,480
them wrong, right that they have a and maybe that's

978
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:39,519
a really high expectation, right, but man, you gotta watch

979
00:52:39,599 --> 00:52:41,599
who you marry, because that's not going to be the

980
00:52:41,599 --> 00:52:42,679
person that you divorced.

981
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,079
Speaker 2: Like somebody that control their emotions and their feelings, they

982
00:52:46,119 --> 00:52:47,760
don't have to run to the media, to run to

983
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:49,559
the internet to let people know what happened. They will

984
00:52:49,639 --> 00:52:51,159
to own the break up. They can live in that

985
00:52:51,199 --> 00:52:52,960
break up and be okay with it. But somebody has

986
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:54,800
to run to tell the whole world. That's why that

987
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:55,159
you want.

988
00:52:55,199 --> 00:52:58,519
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying. Like there, listen, I have

989
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:04,280
friends who parents are married. They haven't slept in the

990
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:09,000
same bed for twenty fucking years. But guess what, you

991
00:53:09,079 --> 00:53:11,519
stay run as a unit. You see me, you see her,

992
00:53:11,519 --> 00:53:14,559
you see her, you see And I'm not saying that

993
00:53:14,559 --> 00:53:18,440
that is a healthy way. But again, this new school shit,

994
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,639
well now everybody's a podcaster, y'all still better watch my shit.

995
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:26,360
Everybody's a podcaster. Everybody got a mic, everybody got a

996
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:31,159
public platform, and you can release information so quickly and easily.

997
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:35,559
I want old school love. I want you barely even

998
00:53:35,599 --> 00:53:39,639
knew people. It's people kids now to this day don't

999
00:53:39,639 --> 00:53:41,920
even know that their parents divorced. You know what I'm saying, Like,

1000
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:45,079
they don't even know that this, and even after they divorced,

1001
00:53:45,159 --> 00:53:47,559
the man and the husband and wife's still coming around

1002
00:53:47,599 --> 00:53:49,840
like it's all cool. You can't even tell that they

1003
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:53,119
send me that. Okay, Please, I don't want the new

1004
00:53:53,159 --> 00:53:56,199
school stuff. Lord, please tap me out. I'm not your

1005
00:53:56,239 --> 00:54:00,480
strongest soldier. Please put me in with a person that

1006
00:54:00,559 --> 00:54:05,559
has like old school og old school values that even

1007
00:54:05,639 --> 00:54:08,320
on our worst day, they're not gonna go telling the business.

1008
00:54:08,599 --> 00:54:09,280
Speaker 3: And he was honest.

1009
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,280
Speaker 2: I appreciate him saying the fact about you know, she

1010
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,320
changed him as a man, made him a better father

1011
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:16,039
or family person. Things like that nature Okay cool. But

1012
00:54:16,079 --> 00:54:18,880
on the other side, right, I'm just saying, don't beat

1013
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:22,480
me up. I don't like the cryptic post online either,

1014
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:27,440
because you're dropping breadcrumbs to people to question what's going on.

1015
00:54:27,639 --> 00:54:30,360
They're like, something's some different between what's going on and

1016
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:31,679
they want to be search and dig into it.

1017
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:33,679
Speaker 3: How't do people the opportunity to do that at all? Done?

1018
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 2: Given that reason, Just if y'all done, y'all done, just

1019
00:54:37,039 --> 00:54:39,559
move on, But don't do things to kind of create

1020
00:54:39,599 --> 00:54:41,960
this idea that things are wrong to now.

1021
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,320
Speaker 3: It brings the public eye to look to see what's going.

1022
00:54:44,199 --> 00:54:46,280
Speaker 1: On and he did say that on the show. Again,

1023
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,280
I'm just a spectator. I'm watching on everybody else. I'll

1024
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:53,320
have no front row insight to that, to their dynamic

1025
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:56,519
and their marriage, but I did see that he I

1026
00:54:56,559 --> 00:54:58,920
do watch Love and Hip Hop, and he said that

1027
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:02,400
Yandy really cares about the public image, and she cares

1028
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:04,599
a lot about what people think.

1029
00:55:04,679 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 5: And so.

1030
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:09,079
Speaker 1: Maybe she was just trying to clear the air a

1031
00:55:09,119 --> 00:55:12,440
little bit after all of that or even before, just

1032
00:55:12,599 --> 00:55:18,199
like making sure it didn't you know, it didn't sway

1033
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:20,880
either way, because you know, there were things came out

1034
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:24,760
that like she had had an emotional affair, and then

1035
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,039
like you know, they said he was with about five

1036
00:55:27,079 --> 00:55:29,519
to other people, and everybody was coming out saying that

1037
00:55:29,639 --> 00:55:32,760
he was doing stuff. I don't know either way what

1038
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:38,199
happened with that, but it just seems that, man, you

1039
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:40,760
don't just wish it would go better than that. This

1040
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:46,000
sign note y'all know, y'all know, uh, Christy Sarah, y'awn,

1041
00:55:46,159 --> 00:55:47,880
Christy Sarah and Danceman. You know I'm talking about join

1042
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:56,360
you're falling around Christy Sarah and Danceman. Yeah, she said,

1043
00:55:56,360 --> 00:56:00,440
it's a real asylible. There's no way some some relations

1044
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:04,679
you'd be like God, damn, I was rooting for y'all.

1045
00:56:05,519 --> 00:56:07,840
I was rooting for y'all some and I think Man

1046
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:11,000
Yandy and and DC was one of them. And I

1047
00:56:11,039 --> 00:56:15,039
still have hope. He just said we're not together right now.

1048
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:19,199
Y'all could be together in a month or so, who knows.

1049
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,840
I'm praying for y'all, and I really do. I really

1050
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:26,800
do hope that. I really do hope that y'all making work.

1051
00:56:27,039 --> 00:56:30,159
I truly truly do, and I'm praying for, you know,

1052
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:36,000
reconciliation for them. Man black love Man, y'all could do it,

1053
00:56:36,119 --> 00:56:40,000
Yandy and and d C. Just y'all been in too long.

1054
00:56:40,199 --> 00:56:42,360
You can do it. You can do it. You can

1055
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,360
do it. Just go back to the drawing board and

1056
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,239
keep off the Internet and keep people out. Y'all business.

1057
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:51,239
Get y'all a good tribe of people that's solid and

1058
00:56:51,360 --> 00:57:15,960
lock in. Anyways, that's all, folks, Thanks for joining us.