Speaker 1: So my definition of a best friend is changing. Who
Speaker 1: my best friends are are changing to hi bucket to
Speaker 1: fifty plus. I'm James, not Junior JLJ Media. With my
Speaker 1: recent incident with my friend I just had recently and
Speaker 1: thinking about some of my other longtime friendships and who
Speaker 1: is in my life, I'm realizing the categories are shifting
Speaker 1: as the friendships shift. And if someone will say, well,
Speaker 1: who's your best friend? I think I don't have an
Speaker 1: answer anymore. It's an interesting realization. People I thought my
Speaker 1: best friends, I don't think they are at this point.
Speaker 1: Because definition of a best friend is someone you talk
Speaker 1: to you all the time, someone who looks out for you,
Speaker 1: someone you look out for you. May not do things
Speaker 1: together all the time, but you do get together. They
Speaker 1: put you first. Sometimes you put them first. Sometimes like
Speaker 1: I have a couple I have, well these days, I
Speaker 1: have a couple of friends. I might, I could say possibly.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm their best friends. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonnaynybody's names on here, because well, you're attacking people to
Speaker 1: protect the innocent, of course, but it too people to
Speaker 1: come to mind in my life that I would say
Speaker 1: do that on a regular basis. Here in LA and
Speaker 1: I could possibly say they're my best friends, but I
Speaker 1: don't think they would use that. Well, there's well, there's
Speaker 1: one person. I think we actually let me take that,
Speaker 1: let me take that back. I think we have used
Speaker 1: the word best friend for each other finally the last
Speaker 1: couple of years. Yeah, I think I've used other words,
Speaker 1: but I think we actually have. We don't say it
Speaker 1: all the time, but I think we have. So Okay,
Speaker 1: So I guess, Okay, So there's maybe there's one person
Speaker 1: and either way, I definitely feel it with this person,
Speaker 1: regardless if I'm his best friend or not. I do
Speaker 1: feel this person. And then then I have a couple
Speaker 1: of them. Back to the other couple of friends I
Speaker 1: have that we're very close, and I would think it's close.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm their best friends. I don't
Speaker 1: know that. I don't know. I know I'm in their
Speaker 1: circle of close friends. Because the answer the a story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can have close friends who aren't best friends. I
Speaker 1: have a friend, I have several friends I've known for years,
Speaker 1: and I'm realizing they're just good friends, longtime friends, and
Speaker 1: maybe possibly close friends. But that's like they're like you've
Speaker 1: made them family, So they're family. They're in there. They're
Speaker 1: like family memories. You don't talk to all the time either,
Speaker 1: but you like, you know, you love them and and
Speaker 1: and care about them or anything happen or you see them,
Speaker 1: it's good. So I think I'm getting I'm getting more
Speaker 1: of those and I have people. I think I'm moving
Speaker 1: into that category. There are you know, everyone is changing
Speaker 1: as we get older. And I'm noticing at this age
Speaker 1: group over fifty fifty plus, my people my life were
Speaker 1: in their fifties, sixties, and seventies. There's some mind stuff going.
Speaker 1: Some of it is involuntary, some of it there's some
Speaker 1: stuff growing in your brain and other stuff is you
Speaker 1: really start to see life just so differently than you
Speaker 1: did when you were younger or even middle aged, and
Speaker 1: that informs how you act towards people. Also your life.
Speaker 1: But maybe you're freer now, you have more time, and
Speaker 1: so you get either you get interests, but you get
Speaker 1: so in just yourself, or you're out there all the
Speaker 1: time but spreading around so you know, you know, you know,
Speaker 1: connect with one or two people like you used to anymore.
Speaker 1: I do agree that your your circles to get smaller.
Speaker 1: Some just some because they die literally or just people
Speaker 1: move on and go to other things, or situations pop
Speaker 1: up and they got to live somewhere else, so they
Speaker 1: move closer to their kids, grown kids and things like that.
Speaker 1: But I have one friend. I was thinking about this
Speaker 1: today and I was like, wait a minute. This person
Speaker 1: never puts me first, never comes actually to LA, and
Speaker 1: doesn't find time to see me anymore. Like literally saw
Speaker 1: my mother and I'm four miles away from her and
Speaker 1: couldn't stop by to see me. Comes to town, let
Speaker 1: me know, lets me know. Sometimes it's and I and I.
Speaker 1: But when I go to her town, I always call
Speaker 1: and we usually get together when it's close to home.
Speaker 1: Went in her town, she's totally available for me, But
Speaker 1: when she comes to LA, she's never available for me anymore.
Speaker 1: And I'm actually gonna let myself be offended by that.
Speaker 1: I've been not I've been trying to hold it in
Speaker 1: for so long because she's a nice person and I
Speaker 1: don't and I don't think it's malicious what she's doing,
Speaker 1: but it's like with I'm not holding her accountable though
Speaker 1: I've mentioned it to her, and it's always an excuse.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, so you still do it of a right.
Speaker 1: I have a right to be hurt. I mean, as
Speaker 1: I says I'm talking to you, I'm like, I'm not
Speaker 1: even deeply hurt. I'm not even like angry or upset.
Speaker 1: But but I'm like, I'm tired of just brushing it off.
Speaker 1: It is offensive. Then I can do about it, and
Speaker 1: she's gonna do what she wants to do, and I'll
Speaker 1: keep calling her out on every time actually does it.
Speaker 1: But I guess, I mean, I eventually I'll let it go.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's gonna, it's gonna. I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: I have been kind of letting you off and on,
Speaker 1: but it's just kind of like James, stop brushing it off.
Speaker 1: You do have fee, You're human, you have feelings. You
Speaker 1: know she's a nice person and maybe be trying to
Speaker 1: do on purpose. You let her get away with it, though,
Speaker 1: and there's probably nothing you can do about though, but
Speaker 1: at least for yourself, acknowledge that kind of hurts and
Speaker 1: you feel that's rude, and they just move on to
Speaker 1: the next thing. And I know, So I learned all
Speaker 1: my friends. I lost a couple ex best friends because
Speaker 1: they dumped me when I came to La. So there's
Speaker 1: now where you're dumped. Then I have another person who's
Speaker 1: more like a brother, and I had to you know,
Speaker 1: I'm realizing that he's changing and he's getting old. He's
Speaker 1: older than I am, ten years older than I am,
Speaker 1: and he's changing, and so it's like I gotta go
Speaker 1: along to change. But see, here's what's funny. So somebody
Speaker 1: else in my life we had a rocky couple of years,
Speaker 1: but then we're fine, and now we're fine again. They
Speaker 1: finally got settled where they are and we're actually we're
Speaker 1: actually really okay. So it's like I have another friend
Speaker 1: we had twelve years we didn't speak, go back together
Speaker 1: and we're fine. So I know that people go through
Speaker 1: rough patches in their world and that can affect how
Speaker 1: they relate to you or not to you. And then
Speaker 1: they get through it somehow maybe and they come come
Speaker 1: out the other side they're like, Okay, I'm back, so
Speaker 1: I speak. I'm back, not saying you should brush down
Speaker 1: your feelings, but it's kind of like, well, I have
Speaker 1: to understand anybody. I've gone through some stuff that like
Speaker 1: completely was my whole world, so I'm sure I've done
Speaker 1: to other people. See it's also a thing of where
Speaker 1: I have a couple people who have called me their
Speaker 1: best friend, and I don't the same way. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're a good friend, or yeah, you're a friend, but
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say you're my best friend. You know, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, it's just it's everything is. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like a chessboard. Everything is we're arranging for
Speaker 1: you right now at this stage of my life, and
Speaker 1: they're and you know, I hate it, not like a
Speaker 1: deputy down around these shows, but these are just these
Speaker 1: are just the world. I just I'm very realistic the
Speaker 1: world we live in. It can be very strange in
Speaker 1: terms of communication and people and connection. And I'm learning
Speaker 1: some real truths. I'm seeing it. And right in front
Speaker 1: of me, there are people who you give and give
Speaker 1: and give, and they literally just take it, take a
Speaker 1: take and don't really acknowledge you. There are people who
Speaker 1: who're just out there and they come around and they
Speaker 1: want to come around, and they give you what they
Speaker 1: can give you. And you're taught nowadays to like just
Speaker 1: meet them where they're at. That's the samest thing to do.
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's fine, and sometimes it isn't. I just
Speaker 1: I don't. I but then I hear all these people
Speaker 1: talking about how they they want connections, they want they
Speaker 1: want friendships and relationships, and they feel lonely and but
Speaker 1: they're not doing anything. It's it's yeah, and it also
Speaker 1: could be the city I'm in. I always say I'm
Speaker 1: in La. So that's a whole shit show by itself.
Speaker 1: It was more close knit in Pittsburgh. It was more
Speaker 1: close knit in Sacramento. San Francisco was half close that
Speaker 1: half shit show. Indiana seems very close. So it's like
Speaker 1: when I go to visit Chicago. She so, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's it could be the city. I mean also, which
Speaker 1: affords this? This is an industry town. Everybody's trying to
Speaker 1: get ahead. So so I've never been naive. And I said,
Speaker 1: I knew that my circle of friends would diminish, they
Speaker 1: would go there, would get smaller and smaller. And well,
Speaker 1: my friends asked me, well, what did you know? You
Speaker 1: always told your birthday for a whole month, and so
Speaker 1: what are you doing. I'm like, this year nothing. I
Speaker 1: have one person will take me out. I just have
Speaker 1: to figure that out with her, and I just actually
Speaker 1: make sure I back it out to myself to let
Speaker 1: her know and then but is it No one else
Speaker 1: has offered take me out? One one person took me
Speaker 1: out and treating me really well. He was great. The
Speaker 1: one who I think I think is my best friend
Speaker 1: or one of them, another person I kind of now
Speaker 1: he said, Oh, here's what's funny. So I used to
Speaker 1: be invited to a family member's family celebrations, but they
Speaker 1: stopped inviting me. So I'm like, okay, I guess it's
Speaker 1: not invite anymore. They invited me, but it was like,
Speaker 1: you're invited because my family invited you. They want you there.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, okay, well do you want me there?
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of it was kind of weird. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: you're invited because they asked for me to be there.
Speaker 1: I'm like that's nice. I'm very flattered they had them
Speaker 1: So for them, I'm like, they're looking at they want
Speaker 1: me to come. I'm like, for you or do you
Speaker 1: want me there? Like it was just kind of like
Speaker 1: I didn't ask that, but it was kind of like
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just yeah, I am learning about people
Speaker 1: left and right. So look at you, look at your life,
Speaker 1: look at your relationships. Do you have a best friend.
Speaker 1: Do you have a group of girlfriends? Are they your
Speaker 1: best friends? A group of male friends? Are they your boys?
Speaker 1: Do you have that? Well, if you're younger, but if
Speaker 1: you're over fifty, I'm asking you specifically, do you have that?
Speaker 1: Do you have no friends? You have one kind of friend? Like?
Speaker 1: Are friendship changing for you? I've been I've been really
Speaker 1: asking myself a lot of these questions for these things
Speaker 1: I'm getting. Like I said, they won't be Aubie downer,
Speaker 1: but I'm learning so many things that are just true.
Speaker 1: They're just people. It goes back to that active friendship
Speaker 1: versus passive friendship, like what do you have with people?
Speaker 1: And that's on you and them, not just me too?
Speaker 1: Like what am I giving out? And when am I not?
Speaker 1: This is fifty plus. I'm James lot Junior. Catch you
Speaker 1: next time.