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<v Speaker 1>So my definition of a best friend is changing. Who

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<v Speaker 1>my best friends are are changing to hi bucket to

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<v Speaker 1>fifty plus. I'm James, not Junior JLJ Media. With my

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<v Speaker 1>recent incident with my friend I just had recently and

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about some of my other longtime friendships and who

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<v Speaker 1>is in my life, I'm realizing the categories are shifting

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<v Speaker 1>as the friendships shift. And if someone will say, well,

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<v Speaker 1>who's your best friend? I think I don't have an

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<v Speaker 1>answer anymore. It's an interesting realization. People I thought my

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<v Speaker 1>best friends, I don't think they are at this point.

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<v Speaker 1>Because definition of a best friend is someone you talk

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<v Speaker 1>to you all the time, someone who looks out for you,

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<v Speaker 1>someone you look out for you. May not do things

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<v Speaker 1>together all the time, but you do get together. They

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<v Speaker 1>put you first. Sometimes you put them first. Sometimes like

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<v Speaker 1>I have a couple I have, well these days, I

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<v Speaker 1>have a couple of friends. I might, I could say possibly.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I'm their best friends. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>gonnaynybody's names on here, because well, you're attacking people to

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<v Speaker 1>protect the innocent, of course, but it too people to

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<v Speaker 1>come to mind in my life that I would say

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<v Speaker 1>do that on a regular basis. Here in LA and

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<v Speaker 1>I could possibly say they're my best friends, but I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think they would use that. Well, there's well, there's

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<v Speaker 1>one person. I think we actually let me take that,

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<v Speaker 1>let me take that back. I think we have used

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<v Speaker 1>the word best friend for each other finally the last

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<v Speaker 1>couple of years. Yeah, I think I've used other words,

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<v Speaker 1>but I think we actually have. We don't say it

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<v Speaker 1>all the time, but I think we have. So Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So I guess, Okay, So there's maybe there's one person

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<v Speaker 1>and either way, I definitely feel it with this person,

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<v Speaker 1>regardless if I'm his best friend or not. I do

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<v Speaker 1>feel this person. And then then I have a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of them. Back to the other couple of friends I

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<v Speaker 1>have that we're very close, and I would think it's close.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I'm their best friends. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know that. I don't know. I know I'm in their

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<v Speaker 1>circle of close friends. Because the answer the a story. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you can have close friends who aren't best friends. I

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<v Speaker 1>have a friend, I have several friends I've known for years,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm realizing they're just good friends, longtime friends, and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe possibly close friends. But that's like they're like you've

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<v Speaker 1>made them family, So they're family. They're in there. They're

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<v Speaker 1>like family memories. You don't talk to all the time either,

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<v Speaker 1>but you like, you know, you love them and and

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<v Speaker 1>and care about them or anything happen or you see them,

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<v Speaker 1>it's good. So I think I'm getting I'm getting more

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<v Speaker 1>of those and I have people. I think I'm moving

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<v Speaker 1>into that category. There are you know, everyone is changing

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<v Speaker 1>as we get older. And I'm noticing at this age

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<v Speaker 1>group over fifty fifty plus, my people my life were

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<v Speaker 1>in their fifties, sixties, and seventies. There's some mind stuff going.

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<v Speaker 1>Some of it is involuntary, some of it there's some

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<v Speaker 1>stuff growing in your brain and other stuff is you

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<v Speaker 1>really start to see life just so differently than you

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<v Speaker 1>did when you were younger or even middle aged, and

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<v Speaker 1>that informs how you act towards people. Also your life.

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<v Speaker 1>But maybe you're freer now, you have more time, and

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<v Speaker 1>so you get either you get interests, but you get

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<v Speaker 1>so in just yourself, or you're out there all the

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<v Speaker 1>time but spreading around so you know, you know, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>connect with one or two people like you used to anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>I do agree that your your circles to get smaller.

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<v Speaker 1>Some just some because they die literally or just people

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<v Speaker 1>move on and go to other things, or situations pop

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<v Speaker 1>up and they got to live somewhere else, so they

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<v Speaker 1>move closer to their kids, grown kids and things like that.

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<v Speaker 1>But I have one friend. I was thinking about this

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<v Speaker 1>today and I was like, wait a minute. This person

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<v Speaker 1>never puts me first, never comes actually to LA, and

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't find time to see me anymore. Like literally saw

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<v Speaker 1>my mother and I'm four miles away from her and

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't stop by to see me. Comes to town, let

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<v Speaker 1>me know, lets me know. Sometimes it's and I and I.

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<v Speaker 1>But when I go to her town, I always call

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<v Speaker 1>and we usually get together when it's close to home.

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<v Speaker 1>Went in her town, she's totally available for me, But

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<v Speaker 1>when she comes to LA, she's never available for me anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm actually gonna let myself be offended by that.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been not I've been trying to hold it in

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<v Speaker 1>for so long because she's a nice person and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't and I don't think it's malicious what she's doing,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's like with I'm not holding her accountable though

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<v Speaker 1>I've mentioned it to her, and it's always an excuse.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm like, so you still do it of a right.

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<v Speaker 1>I have a right to be hurt. I mean, as

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<v Speaker 1>I says I'm talking to you, I'm like, I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>even deeply hurt. I'm not even like angry or upset.

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<v Speaker 1>But but I'm like, I'm tired of just brushing it off.

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<v Speaker 1>It is offensive. Then I can do about it, and

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<v Speaker 1>she's gonna do what she wants to do, and I'll

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<v Speaker 1>keep calling her out on every time actually does it.

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<v Speaker 1>But I guess, I mean, I eventually I'll let it go.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's gonna, it's gonna. I mean, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I have been kind of letting you off and on,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's just kind of like James, stop brushing it off.

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<v Speaker 1>You do have fee, You're human, you have feelings. You

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<v Speaker 1>know she's a nice person and maybe be trying to

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<v Speaker 1>do on purpose. You let her get away with it, though,

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<v Speaker 1>and there's probably nothing you can do about though, but

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<v Speaker 1>at least for yourself, acknowledge that kind of hurts and

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<v Speaker 1>you feel that's rude, and they just move on to

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<v Speaker 1>the next thing. And I know, So I learned all

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<v Speaker 1>my friends. I lost a couple ex best friends because

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<v Speaker 1>they dumped me when I came to La. So there's

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<v Speaker 1>now where you're dumped. Then I have another person who's

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<v Speaker 1>more like a brother, and I had to you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm realizing that he's changing and he's getting old. He's

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<v Speaker 1>older than I am, ten years older than I am,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's changing, and so it's like I gotta go

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<v Speaker 1>along to change. But see, here's what's funny. So somebody

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<v Speaker 1>else in my life we had a rocky couple of years,

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<v Speaker 1>but then we're fine, and now we're fine again. They

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<v Speaker 1>finally got settled where they are and we're actually we're

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<v Speaker 1>actually really okay. So it's like I have another friend

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<v Speaker 1>we had twelve years we didn't speak, go back together

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<v Speaker 1>and we're fine. So I know that people go through

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<v Speaker 1>rough patches in their world and that can affect how

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<v Speaker 1>they relate to you or not to you. And then

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<v Speaker 1>they get through it somehow maybe and they come come

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<v Speaker 1>out the other side they're like, Okay, I'm back, so

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<v Speaker 1>I speak. I'm back, not saying you should brush down

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<v Speaker 1>your feelings, but it's kind of like, well, I have

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<v Speaker 1>to understand anybody. I've gone through some stuff that like

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<v Speaker 1>completely was my whole world, so I'm sure I've done

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<v Speaker 1>to other people. See it's also a thing of where

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<v Speaker 1>I have a couple people who have called me their

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<v Speaker 1>best friend, and I don't the same way. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>you're a good friend, or yeah, you're a friend, but

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't say you're my best friend. You know, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I mean, it's just it's everything is. It's

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<v Speaker 1>like it's like a chessboard. Everything is we're arranging for

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<v Speaker 1>you right now at this stage of my life, and

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<v Speaker 1>they're and you know, I hate it, not like a

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<v Speaker 1>deputy down around these shows, but these are just these

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<v Speaker 1>are just the world. I just I'm very realistic the

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<v Speaker 1>world we live in. It can be very strange in

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<v Speaker 1>terms of communication and people and connection. And I'm learning

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<v Speaker 1>some real truths. I'm seeing it. And right in front

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<v Speaker 1>of me, there are people who you give and give

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<v Speaker 1>and give, and they literally just take it, take a

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<v Speaker 1>take and don't really acknowledge you. There are people who

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<v Speaker 1>who're just out there and they come around and they

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<v Speaker 1>want to come around, and they give you what they

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<v Speaker 1>can give you. And you're taught nowadays to like just

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<v Speaker 1>meet them where they're at. That's the samest thing to do.

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<v Speaker 1>And sometimes it's fine, and sometimes it isn't. I just

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<v Speaker 1>I don't. I but then I hear all these people

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<v Speaker 1>talking about how they they want connections, they want they

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<v Speaker 1>want friendships and relationships, and they feel lonely and but

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<v Speaker 1>they're not doing anything. It's it's yeah, and it also

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<v Speaker 1>could be the city I'm in. I always say I'm

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<v Speaker 1>in La. So that's a whole shit show by itself.

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<v Speaker 1>It was more close knit in Pittsburgh. It was more

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<v Speaker 1>close knit in Sacramento. San Francisco was half close that

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<v Speaker 1>half shit show. Indiana seems very close. So it's like

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<v Speaker 1>when I go to visit Chicago. She so, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's it could be the city. I mean also, which

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<v Speaker 1>affords this? This is an industry town. Everybody's trying to

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<v Speaker 1>get ahead. So so I've never been naive. And I said,

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<v Speaker 1>I knew that my circle of friends would diminish, they

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<v Speaker 1>would go there, would get smaller and smaller. And well,

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<v Speaker 1>my friends asked me, well, what did you know? You

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<v Speaker 1>always told your birthday for a whole month, and so

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<v Speaker 1>what are you doing. I'm like, this year nothing. I

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<v Speaker 1>have one person will take me out. I just have

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<v Speaker 1>to figure that out with her, and I just actually

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<v Speaker 1>make sure I back it out to myself to let

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<v Speaker 1>her know and then but is it No one else

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<v Speaker 1>has offered take me out? One one person took me

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<v Speaker 1>out and treating me really well. He was great. The

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<v Speaker 1>one who I think I think is my best friend

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<v Speaker 1>or one of them, another person I kind of now

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<v Speaker 1>he said, Oh, here's what's funny. So I used to

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<v Speaker 1>be invited to a family member's family celebrations, but they

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<v Speaker 1>stopped inviting me. So I'm like, okay, I guess it's

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<v Speaker 1>not invite anymore. They invited me, but it was like,

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<v Speaker 1>you're invited because my family invited you. They want you there.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm like, okay, well do you want me there?

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<v Speaker 1>Like it's kind of it was kind of weird. It's like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>you're invited because they asked for me to be there.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like that's nice. I'm very flattered they had them

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<v Speaker 1>So for them, I'm like, they're looking at they want

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<v Speaker 1>me to come. I'm like, for you or do you

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<v Speaker 1>want me there? Like it was just kind of like

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't ask that, but it was kind of like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just I'm just yeah, I am learning about people

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<v Speaker 1>left and right. So look at you, look at your life,

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<v Speaker 1>look at your relationships. Do you have a best friend.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have a group of girlfriends? Are they your

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<v Speaker 1>best friends? A group of male friends? Are they your boys?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have that? Well, if you're younger, but if

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<v Speaker 1>you're over fifty, I'm asking you specifically, do you have that?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have no friends? You have one kind of friend? Like?

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<v Speaker 1>Are friendship changing for you? I've been I've been really

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<v Speaker 1>asking myself a lot of these questions for these things

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<v Speaker 1>I'm getting. Like I said, they won't be Aubie downer,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm learning so many things that are just true.

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<v Speaker 1>They're just people. It goes back to that active friendship

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<v Speaker 1>versus passive friendship, like what do you have with people?

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<v Speaker 1>And that's on you and them, not just me too?

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<v Speaker 1>Like what am I giving out? And when am I not?

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<v Speaker 1>This is fifty plus. I'm James lot Junior. Catch you

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<v Speaker 1>next time.