WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.680 --> 00:00:02.919 This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI 2 00:00:03.080 --> 00:00:05.960 AM six forty, the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show on demand 3 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:09.519 on the iHeartRadio app k I Am six forty. You 4 00:00:09.519 --> 00:00:11.919 have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor 5 00:00:11.960 --> 00:00:14.919 Wendy Waalsh Show. We are on the iHeartRadio app. Just 6 00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:18.519 download the iHeartRadio app, search Doctor Wendy Walsh and hit 7 00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:20.480 that little preset button because then you're always going to 8 00:00:20.519 --> 00:00:22.039 get me, whether you get the show or not. Every 9 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:24.280 Sunday from seven to nine. Hey, everybody, good to see you. 10 00:00:24.719 --> 00:00:26.679 I have been Okay, you can stop that part. Kayla. 11 00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:30.559 Kayla was putting some of that under Instagram. I just 12 00:00:30.600 --> 00:00:35.079 got back from a wedding in Mexico and I have 13 00:00:35.159 --> 00:00:38.399 learned an important lesson. Do you remember last week we 14 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:42.200 talked about how Mexico has finally entered the top ten 15 00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:46.719 list of the happiest countries in the world. America is 16 00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:49.759 down to twenty four. Okay, Finland's still at the top. 17 00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:53.439 Nobody threatening their happiness up there. And what I learned 18 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:57.200 I went to a place called Morelia. Morelia is one 19 00:00:57.240 --> 00:01:00.320 of the oldest cities in Mexico. Rose not have you 20 00:01:00.359 --> 00:01:03.320 been to Morelia. I've been all over every part of Mexico. 21 00:01:03.359 --> 00:01:05.120 Oh you have. Okay, the buildings are like from the 22 00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:07.760 fifteen hundred gorgeous. But they must have bought those Spaniards, 23 00:01:07.799 --> 00:01:09.840 must have brought some like Germans or Swiss with them, 24 00:01:09.840 --> 00:01:12.280 because it's really organized and it's a big city, a 25 00:01:12.319 --> 00:01:15.840 million people and every stone building it was just so gorgeous. 26 00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:20.280 Here's my advice to everybody, Raoul knows. Get out of 27 00:01:20.280 --> 00:01:22.840 the border towns and get off the resorts and go 28 00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:25.120 see the rest of Mexico, and you are going to 29 00:01:25.159 --> 00:01:29.319 meet the happiest, kindest, most wonderful people. We had the 30 00:01:29.319 --> 00:01:31.799 best time. Well, first of all, I was treated to 31 00:01:32.120 --> 00:01:35.079 a as a guest at a beautiful wedding that was 32 00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:38.560 beyond beyond beyond. Go on to my Instagram at Dr 33 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:41.079 Wendy Walsh at doctor Wendy Welsh. I made a little, 34 00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:44.400 you know, a one minute story or something I posted 35 00:01:44.439 --> 00:01:45.840 that's going to disappear if you don't go now and 36 00:01:45.879 --> 00:01:48.719 look at it. That is sort of a recap of 37 00:01:48.760 --> 00:01:50.319 the whole wedding. And yeah, you get to see me 38 00:01:50.439 --> 00:01:53.159 dancing on a lot of tequila at the end. But 39 00:01:53.239 --> 00:01:56.200 the thing I learned the most, you know, Raoul. They 40 00:01:56.239 --> 00:02:00.400 didn't even serve wine with the dinner. They just had 41 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:02.920 at the table. They nominated a dude at the table, 42 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:05.040 one of the guests, and he wore an armband that 43 00:02:05.120 --> 00:02:07.519 said Tequila Captain, and he held a bottle of tequila 44 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:09.919 and he just kept filling shot glasses for everyone all night. 45 00:02:10.400 --> 00:02:12.639 So by the time we did start dancing, there was 46 00:02:12.680 --> 00:02:14.960 a lot of Mexican jumping beans in all of us. Okay, 47 00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:16.800 I was jumping up and down, and there's video of 48 00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:19.479 that too if you want to go on my Instagram. 49 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:24.800 But but the thing I love the most was the 50 00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:27.159 you know how a traditionally it was a full mass, 51 00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:30.960 Catholic Mass. My Julio was so he could not believe me. 52 00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:33.080 I knew when to sit, I knew when to kneel, 53 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:35.400 I knew when to bless myself. I went up, I 54 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:37.840 got the eu Christ. He's like, what are you doing? 55 00:02:38.319 --> 00:02:40.800 I go, you married a Catholic girl. You didn't know that. 56 00:02:41.599 --> 00:02:43.879 You you know, I may not act like that way 57 00:02:44.039 --> 00:02:46.280 around you or in the world, but this is my 58 00:02:46.360 --> 00:02:49.599 formative years, okay, and that is a priest up there. 59 00:02:49.639 --> 00:02:52.000 I'm going to get me some bread all right. So, 60 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:56.319 but you know, at a traditional wedding, when you get to 61 00:02:56.400 --> 00:03:01.280 the reception, they affter the dinner, the groom dances with 62 00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:04.719 his mom, and then the bride dances with her dad. 63 00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:08.159 But they did something I'd never seen before that was 64 00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:11.719 so spectacular and beautiful to me. The groom danced for 65 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:14.319 a few minutes with his mom, and then the two 66 00:03:14.360 --> 00:03:17.439 of them, holding hands, opened their arms to the rest 67 00:03:17.479 --> 00:03:20.879 of his entire family, his siblings, his nieces, his nephews, 68 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:23.800 his dad, and they all hugged each other and they 69 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:27.439 all danced together as one family unit. And the same 70 00:03:27.479 --> 00:03:30.159 thing happened with the bride. She danced with her dad 71 00:03:30.199 --> 00:03:33.439 for a few minutes, the you know, prepared perfect steps thing, 72 00:03:33.639 --> 00:03:35.800 and then they just opened their arms to the rest 73 00:03:35.800 --> 00:03:39.960 of the family, and everybody was crying the tears, and 74 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:44.159 I realized why Mexico is on the list of one 75 00:03:44.159 --> 00:03:46.800 of the ten happiest countries in the world. Research shows 76 00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:50.319 that when you have multi generational families, you have social support, 77 00:03:50.639 --> 00:03:54.199 you have your people, you have your tribe around you, 78 00:03:54.199 --> 00:03:57.520 you're going to have more happiness. And one of the 79 00:03:57.520 --> 00:04:02.759 big flaws with America is American capitalism needed to have 80 00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:07.000 a mobile workforce, and so we ripped people away from 81 00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:10.240 their villages and their tribes and their families and said, 82 00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:12.319 you need the jobs. Are there, Go to Detroit. You're 83 00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:14.840 going to go build cars there. Go there, You're going 84 00:04:14.879 --> 00:04:18.839 to do that right. And we created this false idea 85 00:04:19.600 --> 00:04:24.399 of individualism, that individualism was the most important thing, but 86 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:27.920 it's not. We are tribes at heart, and we are 87 00:04:27.959 --> 00:04:31.199 meant to be with our people, right. And it was 88 00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:34.720 just beautiful to see. I was so happy and honored 89 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:37.720 to get to be part of that amazing wedding. So 90 00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:42.079 Alex and Kathy from Houston. Her family's from Morelia, so 91 00:04:42.120 --> 00:04:44.439 that's why they are near there. And most of the 92 00:04:44.480 --> 00:04:46.879 people at the wedding came from Mexico City. And it's 93 00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:50.480 so funny because nobody's book English, but we all managed right. 94 00:04:50.759 --> 00:04:52.600 And then there was a young girl at our table 95 00:04:52.839 --> 00:04:55.240 who was I found out seventeen, and she was sitting 96 00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:56.800 there clicking on her phone the whole time, and I 97 00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:00.000 knew she was fixing pictures for Instagram and all that stuff, 98 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.639 so I knew she would know what to do. So 99 00:05:01.680 --> 00:05:03.000 I said to her, I was trying to, like in 100 00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:05.560 my broken Spanish, really broken or saying to Julio, can 101 00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:07.879 you ask her? Can you please whatever? And she spoke 102 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:09.519 to me in perfect English. Right, She's like, oh, yeah, 103 00:05:09.519 --> 00:05:11.240 I'll go take a picture your table, no problem. And 104 00:05:11.240 --> 00:05:13.279 then I go, where are you from? She goes, Oh, 105 00:05:13.319 --> 00:05:16.800 it's this place north of Los Angeles, you know where 106 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:19.000 Magic Mountain. It was like, oh, you're from Santa Clarina. 107 00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:22.399 What are you doing here? I go, are there Mexicans 108 00:05:22.439 --> 00:05:26.959 up there? She goes, not too many? Not too many? Anyway, 109 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:29.279 it was a treat and I'm just blessed. We just 110 00:05:29.319 --> 00:05:32.120 got back this afternoon, so I still have to kill 111 00:05:32.160 --> 00:05:34.079 in my veins, just saying I was dancing till wee 112 00:05:34.120 --> 00:05:36.720 hours last night. The other thing I want to talk 113 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:38.360 about briefly, right, well, do I have a few more 114 00:05:38.360 --> 00:05:41.480 minutes left? Is you know I am a news junkie. 115 00:05:41.560 --> 00:05:44.959 I can't stop. I doom scroll. Julio's staying away from it. 116 00:05:45.000 --> 00:05:47.519 He doesn't want to talk about politics. What's going on 117 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:51.439 with the stock market? Anith triffs? He doesn't care. He goes, 118 00:05:51.519 --> 00:05:53.480 just wait, just wait, it's all going to pass. Just wait. 119 00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:56.120 The midterms are common. Just I know, he's mister calm me. 120 00:05:56.360 --> 00:05:59.000 I just read and read and read and read. And 121 00:05:59.079 --> 00:06:01.000 while it was way or just as I was going 122 00:06:01.000 --> 00:06:02.680 to the airport, I think I got a call from 123 00:06:02.720 --> 00:06:06.360 a Wall Street Journal reporter asking me if I had 124 00:06:06.439 --> 00:06:08.800 changed anything in my life because of the tariffs. And 125 00:06:08.839 --> 00:06:11.160 I jokingly but it was the truth, said, well, I 126 00:06:11.160 --> 00:06:13.639 did go on Amazon and emptyed my entire shopping cart out, 127 00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:16.120 and she used the quote in the Wall Street Journal. 128 00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:18.879 But basically, you know how you have Like some people 129 00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:23.079 went in their spare time scroll Tinder, Julio scrolls, classic 130 00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:26.240 Portia sites. There's something called bring a Trailer dot com. 131 00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:27.720 I don't know what that is, but he's always there 132 00:06:27.720 --> 00:06:31.279 looking at old cars. Better the old cars than women, 133 00:06:31.399 --> 00:06:34.720 you know, why not? And I like to go into 134 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:38.279 Amazon and cruise around and shop and throw things in 135 00:06:38.319 --> 00:06:40.959 my cart but not buy them. And then every once 136 00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:42.480 in a while I go in and I examine my 137 00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:44.800 cart and then I get rid of things. Oh I 138 00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:46.439 really didn't want that thing, I just put it in there. 139 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:48.720 But when I heard about the terraffs, I just went 140 00:06:48.759 --> 00:06:49.959 in there and bought everything that was in my cart 141 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:52.600 because I was like, oh, it's all made internationally. The 142 00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:55.560 prices are going to go up. But you know, What 143 00:06:56.000 --> 00:07:00.279 these tariffs are going to impact our interpersonal relationship are 144 00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:05.680 romantic relationships. Because of the potential higher cost of goods 145 00:07:05.680 --> 00:07:09.439 that are coming, We're going to see economic stress in couples. 146 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:14.360 We're going to see unemployment uncertainty. I know one couple 147 00:07:14.680 --> 00:07:16.759 who she lost her job and they have to put 148 00:07:16.759 --> 00:07:19.720 their house on the market. Right, So it's a it's 149 00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:24.560 a it's a real thing that's going to impact people's relationships. Also, 150 00:07:25.279 --> 00:07:28.040 more long distance relationships are going to happen because people 151 00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:30.000 have to go where the jobs are. That mobility that 152 00:07:30.040 --> 00:07:33.399 I was talking about. It's going to impact future plans. 153 00:07:33.639 --> 00:07:35.480 If you were planning on buying a home this year, 154 00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:38.000 you're maybe being a little careful. Maybe you were this 155 00:07:38.040 --> 00:07:39.519 is the year you were going to have a baby, 156 00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:41.040 and you're like, I don't know, can we afford for 157 00:07:41.079 --> 00:07:42.480 one of us to stay home at this point and 158 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:45.519 take care of an infant. Maybe you were planning to retire, 159 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:49.720 and now you're because of the stock market dive, your 160 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:54.199 pension fund has taken a crash. Right, And then there's 161 00:07:54.279 --> 00:07:59.319 also these kind of cultural and political strains. Right, you 162 00:07:59.399 --> 00:08:01.120 might be in a real relationship with somebody who has 163 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:04.360 really different political views, and you know it didn't matter. 164 00:08:04.439 --> 00:08:06.560 You know, opposites a tract. You guys got along just 165 00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:10.199 fine for a while. But now it's reached a crescendo 166 00:08:10.639 --> 00:08:13.519 because there are some real world things happening that are 167 00:08:13.560 --> 00:08:18.439 impacting people's lives. If I can say anything, it's that, yes, 168 00:08:18.519 --> 00:08:21.199 what happens at the top will have ripple effects that 169 00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:24.279 will come into all of our lives. We must all 170 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:28.040 remember that we are all in this together. I've said 171 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:30.519 this before, I'm going to say it again. There's a 172 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:34.200 reason why this administration won. There's a huge chunk of 173 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:38.679 America who we haven't listened to, who have needs, important 174 00:08:38.720 --> 00:08:42.120 needs and a voice. And we have to be open 175 00:08:42.200 --> 00:08:47.159 to hearing each other, understanding each other. And I do 176 00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:50.799 believe this too will pass. And before we go, producer, Kayla, 177 00:08:51.039 --> 00:08:52.720 did you see Corey Booker stand there and I go 178 00:08:52.759 --> 00:08:54.120 to the bathroom for twenty five hours? 179 00:08:54.279 --> 00:08:55.000 I did? 180 00:08:55.080 --> 00:08:56.639 Okay, Like, how do you do that? And he didn't 181 00:08:56.679 --> 00:08:57.320 have a diaper on. 182 00:08:57.919 --> 00:08:59.200 Not our heroes wear capes. 183 00:08:59.240 --> 00:09:01.080 Okay, if you don't know what IM talking about, you 184 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:04.480 can google it. But he did a filibuster and that 185 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:07.639 he had to beat the record of I can never 186 00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:10.080 say his name, I always say Storm, but it's Strom 187 00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:15.559 Thermon right, who did a twenty four hour filibuster against 188 00:09:15.919 --> 00:09:21.639 civil rights. So Senator Corey Booker did the opposite. He 189 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:25.759 had fifteen binders. It was a real speech. He wasn't 190 00:09:25.799 --> 00:09:28.039 stumbling around you to see clips. He streamed it live 191 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:31.159 for millions of people on TikTok. But I was mostly 192 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:33.639 interested because you know, I'm a professor of health psychology 193 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:36.759 and it is not good to not drink fluid for 194 00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:40.240 twenty four hours. But he he literally dehydrated himself before 195 00:09:40.279 --> 00:09:44.240 he began, and he fasted for two days. So he's like, uh, 196 00:09:45.240 --> 00:09:47.639 he's a very fit man to be able to do that. 197 00:09:47.639 --> 00:09:51.480 That is amazing. Anyway, kudos to Senator Corey Booker for 198 00:09:51.559 --> 00:09:54.039 getting through that one. Hey, when we come back, there's 199 00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:58.639 a new kind of romancing. It's called micromancing. Uh huh. 200 00:09:58.679 --> 00:10:01.039 It's a way to get somebody into you, not in 201 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:03.240 a big way, in a little way. And there's some 202 00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:06.960 interesting things you can do to micromance. When we come back, 203 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:09.279 you're listening to the Doctor Wendywall Show on KFI Am 204 00:10:09.320 --> 00:10:11.799 six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. 205 00:10:12.200 --> 00:10:16.399 You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI 206 00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:17.519 am six forty. 207 00:10:18.360 --> 00:10:20.799 I am six forty. You have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. 208 00:10:20.919 --> 00:10:28.200 This is the Doctor Wendy Wall Show. All right, micromancing? 209 00:10:28.679 --> 00:10:30.840 Can we talk about what this is? Do you know 210 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:34.480 what micromancing is? Producer Kayla, I don't. Okay, So it's 211 00:10:34.720 --> 00:10:38.559 like romancing. But you know those gen xyz s or 212 00:10:38.600 --> 00:10:41.919 whatever they always have think they get this new language 213 00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:45.000 for stuff, and they think that there's a new way 214 00:10:45.080 --> 00:10:47.840 to court somebody, right, so they try to change things around. 215 00:10:48.279 --> 00:10:51.960 It's actually the old stuff done a different way almost 216 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:56.759 every single time. Right, So let's talk about what grand 217 00:10:57.279 --> 00:11:03.000 romancing is, not micro romance. Grand romancing, of course, are 218 00:11:03.159 --> 00:11:07.559 those big, huge gestures. It tend to happen in heterosexual 219 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:14.000 relationships where a male would try to woo a female 220 00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:19.120 and he would do that by buying her a dozen roses, 221 00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:25.720 of getting a fancy bottle of champagne, taking her out 222 00:11:25.759 --> 00:11:29.679 for a cruise in a sports car, of course, nice dinners, 223 00:11:30.519 --> 00:11:33.759 maybe a three or four or five course dinner. That's 224 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:36.919 called romancing. And that's the old fashioned thing. We have 225 00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:40.480 a problem now, we now have a surging supply of 226 00:11:40.519 --> 00:11:44.799 women who can bama on flowers. They can take care 227 00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:50.559 of those needs themselves because they're economically independent. So how 228 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:53.519 is a guy going to show a woman that he's needed. Remember, 229 00:11:53.799 --> 00:11:57.360 a relationship is an exchange of care, right that care 230 00:11:57.399 --> 00:12:00.440 can take many forms. It can be financial care, sexual care, 231 00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:05.559 instrumental care when someone's sick. It can be intellectual stimulation. 232 00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:09.000 Care could be childcare, It can be domestic responsibility care. 233 00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:14.000 Taking care of each other is what an interpersonal relationship 234 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:17.879 is about. So if there are more women in America 235 00:12:17.919 --> 00:12:21.000 in the workforce right now, there are more women in 236 00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:25.919 the workforce than men. There are more college educated women 237 00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:29.399 than men in the workforce. There's a lot of talk 238 00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:33.759 about men feeling less than like their entire masculine identity 239 00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:37.039 is linked to how much money they can make, and 240 00:12:37.080 --> 00:12:40.039 they're just not making what their fathers and grandfathers made 241 00:12:40.080 --> 00:12:43.559 in comparison to what the women are doing. Right, So 242 00:12:45.320 --> 00:12:49.639 what can guys do? They can show women how they 243 00:12:49.639 --> 00:12:51.519 can make their life better. I'm going to tell you 244 00:12:51.559 --> 00:12:54.840 a story. So I was a single mom for twenty years. 245 00:12:55.639 --> 00:13:00.720 I was a everything, a nurturer, caregiver, provide everything. I 246 00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:04.279 had one hundred percent custody, zero dollars child support. And 247 00:13:05.159 --> 00:13:08.080 I had two people living in my house, my kids, 248 00:13:08.759 --> 00:13:12.399 who did not very much around the house. Okay, I'm 249 00:13:12.440 --> 00:13:14.159 a bad single mother, and I'll tell you why I'm 250 00:13:14.200 --> 00:13:17.080 a bad single mother, rather because I was so exhausted 251 00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:20.559 from working, rather than me taking the time to insist 252 00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:23.000 that they do their chores or pick up. No, we 253 00:13:23.039 --> 00:13:27.080 can't watch TV until we clean up, clean up everybody everywhere. 254 00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:29.679 That's the party's song. I didn't have the patience for that. 255 00:13:29.720 --> 00:13:31.240 I was exhausted. I want to get into bed. It 256 00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:33.759 was like a book bath bed. Let's go. I'll tidy 257 00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:36.480 it up so I could do things faster and more efficiently. 258 00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:38.200 As a result, they kind of have two lazy kids, 259 00:13:38.279 --> 00:13:41.039 all right. They're not now that they're young adults and 260 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:44.039 out on their own and it's their own space, they're 261 00:13:44.120 --> 00:13:46.360 keeping it nice and neat and tidy. But they shir 262 00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:48.759 didn't in my house, so they didn't bring any income 263 00:13:49.240 --> 00:13:52.159 and they didn't do any chores. Now, I have a 264 00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:56.200 husband who pays his share of life fifty percent of 265 00:13:56.240 --> 00:13:59.200 his life, and he does a ton of domestic stuff. 266 00:14:00.080 --> 00:14:03.519 Dishes are his favorite, folding, laundry, you know, I always 267 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:05.919 try to help, but he tells me I'm doing it wrong. 268 00:14:07.759 --> 00:14:09.960 So as a result, I sit back after dinner with 269 00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:11.559 my glass of wine and watch them do the dishes. 270 00:14:12.360 --> 00:14:16.879 So what are these micromances? They're small ways of romancing 271 00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:19.759 a woman and letting her know that you can be 272 00:14:20.120 --> 00:14:23.679 valuable in her life. It's a new dating trend. It's 273 00:14:23.679 --> 00:14:29.320 called micromancing, and it reflects today's culture of young singles, 274 00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:31.960 where many women are simply making more money than their 275 00:14:31.960 --> 00:14:34.759 male peers, and maybe they're exhausted. So it might include 276 00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:39.799 things like just thoughtfully making a playlist for somebody, or 277 00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:42.679 just remembering their coffee order and pinging them on the 278 00:14:42.720 --> 00:14:44.840 way over. Hey, I'm stopping the scar Starbucks, going to 279 00:14:44.840 --> 00:14:47.720 get you that latte you like right, offering to walk 280 00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:52.360 their dog right now. I will say that if the 281 00:14:52.440 --> 00:14:56.759 old fashioned kind of grand romancing involved sacrifice, usually sacrifice 282 00:14:56.759 --> 00:14:59.879 of money, you have to show that you're sacrificing. 283 00:15:00.080 --> 00:15:00.279 Bit. 284 00:15:00.360 --> 00:15:04.399 If you're micromancing right, things might not cost as much 285 00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:09.559 money as those old fashioned romantic gestures. But maybe it's 286 00:15:09.559 --> 00:15:13.200 something like driving really far to meet her for a date, 287 00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:16.600 not meeting halfway. Going no, no, no, I'll meet at 288 00:15:16.639 --> 00:15:18.799 the little beast show by your apartment. I'll get there. No, 289 00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:23.519 I don't mind driving, right, That shows the sacrifice. Maybe 290 00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:26.919 offering to hand wash her car on a sunny Sunday afternoon. 291 00:15:27.320 --> 00:15:28.879 Can I come over. I'd love to wash a car 292 00:15:28.919 --> 00:15:29.200 for you. 293 00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:29.879 Right. 294 00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:34.240 So many men out there are finding really smart ways 295 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:39.200 to show their value to women that they're courting, and 296 00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:40.960 I do want to say that some of this is 297 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:45.679 on women. Women have to understand that micromancing is romancing, 298 00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:50.240 that micromancing is a way of showing their value, of 299 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:53.480 showing sacrifice, of showing that they care. 300 00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:54.120 Right. 301 00:15:55.039 --> 00:15:59.200 And so if you're stuck in the dark ages and 302 00:15:59.240 --> 00:16:02.679 think like if a dude shows up with some inexpensive 303 00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:05.679 roses from Trader Joe's. They're good quality roses, Okay, they 304 00:16:05.720 --> 00:16:08.399 do last good five six days, but they're Trader Joe's, 305 00:16:08.440 --> 00:16:13.120 so they're twenty bucks, right, and you think that's romance 306 00:16:13.519 --> 00:16:16.120 compared to the guy who's going to figure out what 307 00:16:16.159 --> 00:16:17.639 you need? Can I run a few errands where he? 308 00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:20.279 Can I do your car? Can I? I mean? Which 309 00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:24.279 really feels more authentic? Right now? One of the things 310 00:16:24.279 --> 00:16:27.320 when I talked about micromancing earlier, somebody asked me, well, 311 00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:30.480 isn't that lower the bar? Doesn't that lower the bar 312 00:16:30.840 --> 00:16:39.000 on love? No, Because if you sacrifice your time, your labor, 313 00:16:39.639 --> 00:16:43.480 your talents, I think that's an even bigger indicator of 314 00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:46.720 how a man can be a great partner in the future. 315 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:49.600 And again I got to say it's on women. They 316 00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:52.279 have to understand that this is what men are doing. 317 00:16:52.279 --> 00:16:58.039 They're doing what they can, so forget about the old 318 00:16:58.240 --> 00:16:59.360 trappings of love. 319 00:16:59.600 --> 00:16:59.960 Producer. 320 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:02.600 Okay, if you can, you think of the nicest thing 321 00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:05.079 a guy ever did for you that didn't cost any money, 322 00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:07.319 but you were really I had a guy once come 323 00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:11.079 over and just hook up a dryer hose because I 324 00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:12.680 didn't even know how to hook up that gas hose. 325 00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:16.039 I thought that was really cool. Another guy asked if 326 00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:18.240 he could borrow my car so he could upgrade the stereo, 327 00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:20.559 like he had a friend who did car stereos, and 328 00:17:20.559 --> 00:17:22.279 he puts some better speaker in it or something. 329 00:17:23.480 --> 00:17:26.160 I love that those are both of me. I remember 330 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:29.079 a man not counting that he flew to La but 331 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:32.799 he did cook me breakfast and clean my entire kitchen 332 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:34.359 and grocery shop for me. 333 00:17:34.599 --> 00:17:38.240 That's see, women need to understand that that's not a 334 00:17:38.279 --> 00:17:42.319 sign of weakness or quote unquote feminine man. My husband 335 00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:45.160 Julio likes to call himself a feminine man. I don't 336 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:48.720 know why we ascribe the words masculine and feminine to 337 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.880 various roles or behaviors. So, women, I'm really talking to 338 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:56.960 you because the guys out there, the nice guys out there, 339 00:17:57.000 --> 00:18:01.000 are trying to woo you. They might not have the 340 00:18:01.079 --> 00:18:04.680 money that some of those quote unquote alpha males have 341 00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:07.240 that you're all, there's this small group of guys at 342 00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:10.039 the top that all the women are vying for, and 343 00:18:10.119 --> 00:18:13.160 the rest of the guys are suck. Many of them 344 00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:16.119 could be such good partners. Not all, you still got 345 00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:18.160 to audition them in some way, but many of them 346 00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:21.079 could be such good partners. I just think it's important 347 00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:25.359 that women open their mind and open up their hearts 348 00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:28.559 to understand that giving is giving and trying to impress 349 00:18:28.559 --> 00:18:31.000 a woman is a really big thing. So when we 350 00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:34.480 come back, there's another trend in dating that's happening a 351 00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:38.680 lot lately. It's called loud looking, and I want to 352 00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:42.799 speak again directly to women, and specifically women who are 353 00:18:43.240 --> 00:18:47.720 looking to have a long term commitment in a heterosexual relationship. 354 00:18:47.880 --> 00:18:48.519 Heyle is that you? 355 00:18:48.519 --> 00:18:50.079 By the way, are you looking to have a long term, 356 00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:51.880 committed relationship. 357 00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:53.440 In a heteros Yes, yes, yes. 358 00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:55.640 And so I'm going to teach you how to loud look. 359 00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:58.400 Do you know what loud looking is? I will learn today. 360 00:18:58.440 --> 00:19:02.599 It's gonna be very loud. And then after that I'm 361 00:19:02.599 --> 00:19:04.160 going to be taking your calls if you have a 362 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:07.720 relationship question. Not the next segment, but a segment after that. 363 00:19:08.039 --> 00:19:09.559 I'm just throwing out the number now so you can 364 00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:11.400 write it down. It's one eight hundred and five two 365 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:13.920 zero one five three four. That's one eight hundred five 366 00:19:13.920 --> 00:19:16.720 two zero one KFI. But first let's talk about laud looking. 367 00:19:17.319 --> 00:19:20.039 Right now, you're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show 368 00:19:20.119 --> 00:19:24.519 on KFI AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. 369 00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:29.920 You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI 370 00:19:30.119 --> 00:19:31.079 AM six forty. 371 00:19:32.440 --> 00:19:35.279 KFI AM six forty, you have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. 372 00:19:35.319 --> 00:19:37.480 This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. I'd like to 373 00:19:37.480 --> 00:19:40.200 welcome my TikTok audience. I'm on TikTok Live now. If 374 00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:41.880 you'd like to come in the studio and see what 375 00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:45.240 we're doing here. Come on on to TikTok as long 376 00:19:45.279 --> 00:19:47.559 as TikTok's around. Looks like TikTok's going to be around 377 00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:49.200 for a really, really long time. They were a big 378 00:19:49.240 --> 00:19:53.680 sponsor of President Trump's golf tournament in Florida this week. 379 00:19:54.079 --> 00:19:57.160 So and also, he now has forty one million followers 380 00:19:57.160 --> 00:19:59.839 on TikTok, so why would he make TikTok go away? 381 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:04.680 And this week he announced that he has extended the 382 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:07.799 deadline about when he wants them to have to sell 383 00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:11.039 out to an American company. So I think we're good. TikTok. 384 00:20:11.079 --> 00:20:14.519 We're around. So just come on to TikTok at doctor 385 00:20:14.519 --> 00:20:16.519 Wendy Walsh and you can come on into the studio 386 00:20:16.519 --> 00:20:16.880 with us. 387 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:17.640 All right. 388 00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:21.240 I've been talking a lot about the rise of women 389 00:20:21.400 --> 00:20:25.400 economically and how that has impacted our love lives at 390 00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:28.319 our dating lives. I mentioned that there are more women 391 00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:31.920 in the American workforce than men. For the last twenty years, 392 00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:35.480 we've seen a huge feminization of college campuses. For every 393 00:20:35.880 --> 00:20:39.119 woman that graduates from for every man that graduates from college, 394 00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:41.640 there are two or three women I happen to teach 395 00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:44.720 on a college campus cal State Channel Islands Go Dolphins, 396 00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:49.400 where we have almost seventy percent female on our campus. 397 00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:51.920 So it's very obvious to and it's been this way 398 00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:55.720 consistently for the last decade. So women are surging ahead 399 00:20:55.759 --> 00:21:00.359 in some ways. But yet many women have this I 400 00:21:00.440 --> 00:21:03.720 call it patriarchy swimming in their brains. They have this 401 00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:09.079