1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 1: Caloroga Shark Media from Poolside. I'm Johnny mag with your 2 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:14,800 daily commedy news. Jhanny Mag are ree poolside again. Yeah man, 3 00:00:14,839 --> 00:00:17,760 it's August now. A month from now, you know it'll 4 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:21,359 be cooler and I'll be teaching my college class about podcasting. 5 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,719 And you know you gotta enjoy these moments while you can. 6 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:28,480 Trevor Noah is back involved with the South African tourism industry. 7 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:33,240 They've launched a second international marketing campaign featuring comedian Trevor Noah. 8 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,200 They are seeking to attract more foreign visitors at a 9 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,960 time when the country's global reputation has been dented by 10 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:44,280 renewed xenophobic tensions and anti illegal immigration protests. The Tourism 11 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,719 Business Council of South Africa and Tourism Marketing South Africa 12 00:00:47,799 --> 00:00:50,840 unveiled the Tourism in South Africa with Trevor Noah campaign. 13 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:53,560 The campaign is titled didn't Say We didn't tell you. 14 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,759 Let's let Trevor Noah tell you about it. Hi. 15 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,799 Speaker 2: There, I'm Trevor Noah, still South African, still a comedian, 16 00:00:59,079 --> 00:01:02,320 and still getting from all over the world about South 17 00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:05,000 Africa because I guess apparently I'm the only South African 18 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,280 people can ask why not ask black coffee Charlease Elon? 19 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 1: Okay, maybe don't ask Elon. 20 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 2: But the point is I've decided to come to our 21 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:18,120 tourism headquarters to answer your questions head on, questions like this, 22 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,200 Why didn't anyone tell me there were so many climates? 23 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,959 I only pecked for the beach. Well, English been three 24 00:01:26,079 --> 00:01:28,000 to six, then South Africa we have it all. 25 00:01:28,079 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 1: You can explore. 26 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 2: Majestic mountains has skating waterfalls, desert dunes and boundless savannah plains. 27 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 1: You get the idea. Now, as it turns out, I've 28 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,200 got a whole bunch of travel vacation e type things 29 00:01:40,239 --> 00:01:43,200 to tell you about today. Chelsea Handler laid out her 30 00:01:43,239 --> 00:01:47,159 strict rules for family vacation. She spoke to People magazine 31 00:01:47,159 --> 00:01:49,159 about this, and she said, if you want a vacation 32 00:01:49,319 --> 00:01:52,560 with me, these are the rules. Okay, what are the rules? 33 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,200 Chelsea Handler? By the way, if you want to hear 34 00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:59,519 just how relatable Chelsea Handler is, pay attention here. In 35 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,120 her twenty twenty five book I'll Have what She's having, 36 00:02:02,159 --> 00:02:05,480 she wrote a letter to her extended family establishing proper 37 00:02:05,599 --> 00:02:08,719 vacation etiquette after she paid to take them on a 38 00:02:08,719 --> 00:02:12,400 trip one year. That's nice. She observed a quote shortfall 39 00:02:12,439 --> 00:02:15,639 of manners and left feeling quote embarrassed and taken advantage 40 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:19,879 of after they visited her homes in this is very relatable. 41 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,520 Los Angeles, okay, fine, Majorca in Spain, and Martha's Vineyard 42 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,319 in Massachusetts, because you know everybody has those kind of places. 43 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,520 Her first request were for her family to say hello 44 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,240 to all the people working in the home. We are 45 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,680 told they didn't need to have long conversations with the housekeepers, 46 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,400 but they do need to acknowledge their existence out of 47 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,879 decency and respect. Chelsea Handler asked that her family be 48 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,520 thoughtful of others when it comes to food and drinks. 49 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,599 Clean your plates after a meal and put them in 50 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:50,680 the dishwasher, and do not consume copious amounts of alcohol. 51 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,639 Wait until everyone's been served before grabbing more food. And 52 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,080 when I make a picture of Martaritez, don't finish the 53 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,280 picture unless you're willing to make another. She expects her guests, 54 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,759 especially younger relatives, to remain engage during family activities like 55 00:03:03,759 --> 00:03:06,599 a game, movie, or dinner. She says they can sacrifice 56 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:08,479 their phones and video games to be present for an 57 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,800 hour or two at night. Sounds like a lot of 58 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,319 fun hanging out with Chelsea Handler. She requires a contribution 59 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,000 from her guests. A contribution does not mean financial, it 60 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,400 means what pleasantness are you planning to bring on vacation. 61 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,520 It's not a free for all. I don't care how 62 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,360 much our family annoys you. It's the only one we've 63 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:27,439 got and we're stuck together for life. She sounds fun. Meanwhile, 64 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,240 Rob Beckett spoke to the Guardian. You know Rob from 65 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,439 last one laughing at uk. Rob Beckett's till the Guardian. 66 00:03:33,879 --> 00:03:35,919 We do a lot of Disney theme park holidays. When 67 00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:38,120 my wife turns into some sort of army sergeant. She's 68 00:03:38,199 --> 00:03:40,080 up at the crack of dawn, backpock on, hair done 69 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,479 and pigtails, hat on. Kids ready to go. That's how 70 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,879 you gotta do Disney, dude. You got to be there 71 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,280 the second the gates open and make a b line 72 00:03:47,319 --> 00:03:49,960 for space mountain. Beckett said, when you have kids, they 73 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,680 basically ruin holidays because you're not relaxing. You're parenting and 74 00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:55,199 more danger hotter, with less sleep. And then they get 75 00:03:55,199 --> 00:03:56,439 to an age where they're big enough to play in 76 00:03:56,479 --> 00:03:58,319 the pool, but they're also having their own separate holiday. 77 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,120 They'll be in the pool playing with each other, so 78 00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:01,680 you're getting in for a bit, but they don't want 79 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:03,240 you to play, and then they play with some mates 80 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,439 they've met, Whereas when you go to Disney, it feels 81 00:04:05,439 --> 00:04:07,599 like you're on holiday with them as mates because you're 82 00:04:07,639 --> 00:04:09,560 going on the rides together, eating together, you go to 83 00:04:09,639 --> 00:04:11,120 bed at the same time you wake up, so it 84 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,280 feels like you're on holiday with them. A different vacation. 85 00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:17,000 Rob Beckett said, we went to Spain last year after 86 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,920 being really busy five nights in a row. The whole 87 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,480 family slept for ten hours. We just did nothing and 88 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,879 then basically we go to breakfast five minutes before it ends. 89 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,360 He would not like traveling with me. My family makes 90 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,439 fun of me. I have a full day itinerary, and 91 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,879 I mean full day now. Their brains are an autopo 92 00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:34,319 that I'm like, hey, we got to be here, we're 93 00:04:34,319 --> 00:04:36,759 doing this activity. Here's your passes. I have a folder. 94 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,040 If I get hit by an asteroid, somebody else can 95 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,560 run the vacation. It's all laid out. Here's all the vouchers, 96 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,759 here's everything, here's the schedule, Here's where you get the bus, 97 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,560 all that, But I don't go on vacation to see 98 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,759 the hotel room. I want to see the destiny. Also, 99 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,759 as much as I love the beach, I don't go 100 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:54,800 to the beach on vacation because I'm like eh, and 101 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,120 go to the beach around here, like when I was 102 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,240 in Australia. Believe me, Australia has got awesome beaches. And 103 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:02,040 I did one one half day on Bandai Beach, which 104 00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:04,439 was just amazing. But I was like, you know, I 105 00:05:04,439 --> 00:05:06,879 could sit on the beach at home. I can't climb 106 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,360 the Sydney Harbor Bridge, which is a real thing I did, 107 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,560 which I highly recommend a lot of fun. I can't 108 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,759 do that at home. I digress. Rob Beckett said, I'd 109 00:05:14,759 --> 00:05:16,920 sleep forever. I was so relaxed that one time I 110 00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:19,439 was on the balcony It's like around five o'clock. The 111 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:21,720 kids were out of the bath chilling and lou was 112 00:05:21,759 --> 00:05:24,360 getting ready for the night. I was sort of josing 113 00:05:24,399 --> 00:05:26,480 and I said to myself, if I die now, that's fine, 114 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,680 I'm all right. And he laughed at that notion. Different vacation, 115 00:05:29,759 --> 00:05:31,279 I went to Seville with my wife and a couple 116 00:05:31,319 --> 00:05:34,560 of friends and that was amazing. We watched real Ba tiasplay. 117 00:05:34,639 --> 00:05:36,879 I love football, so Ville is amazing for eating and drinking, 118 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,399 so that was really nice. Go in August. If they're 119 00:05:39,399 --> 00:05:41,120 having a bit of a cold week, book a last 120 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,040 minute deal because the hotels will be cheap. It's really 121 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,120 quiet and empty because it's too hot for most people 122 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,360 to go. But if you keep an eye on it, 123 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,319 you get cheap accommodation and cheap flights at the temperature drops. 124 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,319 That's interesting. Spain is awesome. Beckett says, we're going to 125 00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:54,399 do a road trip through Europe, which we've never done before. 126 00:05:54,399 --> 00:05:56,600 We're going to drive through France in the Champagne region 127 00:05:56,639 --> 00:05:58,519 and then end up at Europa Park at theme park 128 00:05:58,519 --> 00:06:00,920 in Germany. I do love a hotel room with the 129 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,360 family because I feel you're just war relaxed, and the 130 00:06:03,439 --> 00:06:05,879 kids love breakfast. They go down and absolutely demolish it, 131 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,399 and then you set them up for the day. Keenan 132 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:13,439 Thompson has some car buying tips. Now this is an advertorial. 133 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,680 He was being paid to share these tips, but let's 134 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,759 roll with it. Keenan Thompson has some must have car 135 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:24,920 essentials for parents. Number one hand sanitizing wipes Keenan Thompson says, 136 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,079 definitely wipes. You gotta have wipes when you have kids. 137 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,800 Number Two hand sanitizer. He keeps hand sanitizer nearby for 138 00:06:31,879 --> 00:06:34,639 quick cleanups after snacks, playground trips, and busy days on 139 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,319 the go. He also keeps napkins on hands just in case. 140 00:06:37,759 --> 00:06:40,360 You know. I use the middle console thing in my 141 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,519 car and I always have napkins in there until my wife 142 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,560 gets in the car and boys, she goes through all 143 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,720 the napkins. I don't know what she's doing over there. Shotgun. 144 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,879 A lot of napkins disappear, and then I have to 145 00:06:48,879 --> 00:06:51,439 go to Wendy's and get new napkins. Keenan said, I 146 00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:53,079 try to keep my car pretty clean and not a 147 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,560 lot of clutter, you know. So I've done that. Then 148 00:06:55,639 --> 00:06:57,920 my not the car i'm driving now, my last car, 149 00:06:58,079 --> 00:07:00,680 this Hyundai Tucson that I got out when the kids 150 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,360 were young, and I decided this car I'm not going 151 00:07:03,399 --> 00:07:05,600 to be precious about. There's a line I like that 152 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,480 said that battleships aren't meant to sit in dry dock. 153 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,120 They're meant to go out and get in battle. So 154 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,079 I took that attitude with my Hyundai Tucson, which served 155 00:07:14,079 --> 00:07:15,839 me really well. I got to two hundred and five 156 00:07:16,079 --> 00:07:18,519 thousand miles and then the transmission broke and I wanted 157 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,600 to save it, and my and my mechanic that I've 158 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,839 been using for years look me, and I was like, don't. 159 00:07:24,639 --> 00:07:26,079 So I had to let that one go. But anyway, 160 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,399 with that car, I decided, this is the car that's 161 00:07:28,399 --> 00:07:30,279 going to go to soccer games and to the beach, 162 00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:31,800 and it's going to get sand in it, and it's 163 00:07:31,839 --> 00:07:34,040 gonna get dirty, and that's okay. And that's what that 164 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,199 car did, and I loved it. Before starring on SNL, 165 00:07:37,279 --> 00:07:39,600 Keenan Thompson was saving up for his first car, a 166 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,720 Toyota four Runner. He said it was my prize possession 167 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,720 because I bought it with my own hard earned cash. 168 00:07:44,759 --> 00:07:46,680 It wasn't gifted to me. It was something I earned. 169 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,920 My favorite feature was that the backglass window would roll down. 170 00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:51,959 I thought that was really cool for a hatchback kind 171 00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:55,360 of truck. I thought this was fun. From Deadline, it's 172 00:07:55,399 --> 00:07:58,480 called the laugh List. It is a list of the 173 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:03,720 year's best unproduced to comedy screenplays. Deadline explains it is 174 00:08:03,759 --> 00:08:07,560 a new ongoing survey recognizing the year's most promising unproduced 175 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:11,399 comedy screenplays. Unveiled in association with Just for Last Montreal, 176 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,439 The list has ten screenplays that emerge from a field 177 00:08:14,439 --> 00:08:16,959 of more than forty nominated projects. The scripts are in 178 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,439 various stages of development, somewhat studios attached and some not. 179 00:08:21,319 --> 00:08:25,720 Here is the list. Number one. Daniel Bennett Needs a Friend. 180 00:08:26,079 --> 00:08:29,040 The world's richest and loneliest man funnels his near infinite 181 00:08:29,079 --> 00:08:32,960 resources into making one friend. I could see Steve Carell 182 00:08:33,039 --> 00:08:36,279 in that Couldn't You? Yeah? The Flu Game during the 183 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,399 nineteen ninety seven NBA Finals, pretty specific, four desperate Utah 184 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,399 Jazz fans bet their life savings against the Chicago Bulls 185 00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:47,480 and hatch an idiotic plan to poison Michael Jordan, accidentally 186 00:08:47,519 --> 00:08:50,840 creating the infamous and very real Flu Game. That sounds amazing. 187 00:08:50,919 --> 00:08:53,200 Let's get that made right now. Who should we cast 188 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:57,840 in that as Utah Jazz fans? Maybe like Ben Marshall 189 00:08:57,879 --> 00:09:00,600 from the Police. Don't destroy guys, Marcelo Hernandez. Let's reunite 190 00:09:00,639 --> 00:09:03,799 everybody from the seventy two hours movie. Why not? Next up, 191 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,240 it's I'd like to speak to your manager, Jake, really, 192 00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:10,799 really wants to return those stupid little paper towels. I 193 00:09:10,799 --> 00:09:12,919 don't have any ideas for that one. How about Island Man, 194 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,600 after heroically sacrificing himself to save a hijack plane and 195 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,919 spending five years on a deserted island. This already screams Sandler. 196 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,799 A roguish doctor returns from near death to reunite with 197 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,519 the love of his life, only to discover she's married 198 00:09:25,519 --> 00:09:28,399 a totally normal dude named Jake. But this isn't the 199 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,559 hero story. It's Jake's and Jake is so eft that 200 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,679 could be Sandler right. Next up, it's pistols at three 201 00:09:34,879 --> 00:09:38,039 forty five. After a petty online feud between two local 202 00:09:38,039 --> 00:09:41,399 councilmen goes viral, the politicians are pressured by their small 203 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,000 town into a real life gun duel, leaving them both 204 00:09:44,039 --> 00:09:45,840 desperately trying to figure out how to get out of 205 00:09:45,879 --> 00:09:48,960 it without looking like a woos Well. Ferrell popped into 206 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,840 mind as I read that to you. In Rush, a 207 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,879 college student is sexually assaulted by frat guy that's not funny, 208 00:09:53,879 --> 00:09:57,080 who faces no consequences. She and her best friend rushes 209 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,759 fraternity undercover to get revenge, only to I'm the unlikely 210 00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:03,720 stars of Delta Iota Kappa's pledge class and get in 211 00:10:03,759 --> 00:10:06,840 way too deep, too complicated for me to work out. 212 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,559 How about this could be our night after the release 213 00:10:09,639 --> 00:10:11,360 of a crush list, there is the final night of 214 00:10:11,399 --> 00:10:13,600 high school and a chaos. Two best friends must sneak 215 00:10:13,639 --> 00:10:16,440 out to a wild graduation party so one of them 216 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,120 can hook up with her longtime crush. How about the 217 00:10:19,159 --> 00:10:22,360 accidental scroll. A man is recording his podcast next to 218 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,679 the pool when suddenly his mouse jumps and moves the 219 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:26,519 script at Now that's not a real movie, although we 220 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:30,320 could make that where worry the planet is effing awesome, 221 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,080 except they actually use the naughty F word in the title. 222 00:10:33,159 --> 00:10:35,279 Not sure that's going to make it to the theatrical release. 223 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,559 That might be a working title anyway. Twenty years after 224 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,759 their best friend went missing, a group of stoner friends 225 00:10:40,879 --> 00:10:43,159 or zapped to a fun party planet where they find 226 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,720 him alive. They must race across the planet before the 227 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,399 only portloald or home closes forever. I don't know about 228 00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:51,159 that one. That sounds like one episode of Rick and Morty. 229 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:56,360 Next up, it's untitled erotic teen fan fiction movie eighteen 230 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,960 writing erotic fiction online must collaborate with her schools. Primisky 231 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,200 was quarterback when asked to write about her non existent 232 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,879 love life for a publisher, I'll pass on that. And 233 00:11:04,919 --> 00:11:08,440 then there's Witch Please. Two black wannabe viral ghost hunters 234 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,480 are transported back to sixteen hundreds, Massachusetts to defend a 235 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,039 little white girl's mother who's been accused of being a witch. 236 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,480 That one does have a producer attached Kevin Hart's heartbeat. 237 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,519 That is your comedy news on a summer Sunday. We'll 238 00:11:20,519 --> 00:11:21,399 see you tomorrow.