WEBVTT 1 00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:20.839 Yeah, Camels the cigarette that's first in the service presents 2 00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:26.079 the Abbot and Costello program. 3 00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:26.719 What it is? 4 00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:29.239 A complete Stephens and his Orchestra, the songs of Connie 5 00:00:29.320 --> 00:00:30.600 Haynes and the Camel Quintet. 6 00:00:30.879 --> 00:00:31.719 Tonight's guest Ms. 7 00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:34.200 Volna Dietrich and starring Butt. 8 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:44.759 Abbott and Little Costello. 9 00:00:46.079 --> 00:00:48.960 Oh Costello, Oh do you stop that noise? What are 10 00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:51.240 you doing here in the studio dressing your bathing suit? Well? 11 00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:52.719 I spent all day trying to get my car out 12 00:00:52.759 --> 00:00:53.479 of the swimming pool. 13 00:00:53.799 --> 00:00:54.719 What was he doing there? 14 00:00:54.840 --> 00:00:56.920 Don't you read the paper's abboit The governments say you 15 00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:57.799 have to pull your car. 16 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:03.359 No, you dummy, They mean share the ride. 17 00:01:03.560 --> 00:01:05.840 You have to pick up people. Oh I did that yesterday. 18 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:08.120 I picked up Hell and Mary, Rosie and Josie. With 19 00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:11.000 your car holds more than that, Yeah, but now they 20 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:15.840 only allow you four goals a week. You can't get it. 21 00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:19.200 Well, never mind that Casteller. Where have you been all week? 22 00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:20.159 What have you been doing? 23 00:01:20.239 --> 00:01:20.400 Oh? 24 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:22.000 Boy? If I been having a fund of Conny Haynes, 25 00:01:22.040 --> 00:01:23.439 No kidding, L's sun thing. I took it to a 26 00:01:23.439 --> 00:01:26.359 football game? What a game? What excitement? 27 00:01:26.439 --> 00:01:27.560 And he passes no. 28 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:32.000 Her mother was with us, and theother thing happened. There 29 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:33.319 was a man sitting next to us with a six 30 00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:36.000 months old baby. All after noon, the kid was crying, 31 00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:37.920 he was so hungry. 32 00:01:37.959 --> 00:01:39.599 Well, it didn't the bather bring a bottle? 33 00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:44.400 Yeah, but the kid wanted milk. Final. If you shut 34 00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:45.400 the kid up, I give him a. 35 00:01:45.319 --> 00:01:47.000 Penny where I keep him quiet? 36 00:01:47.159 --> 00:01:49.599 Yeah, but he kept waving the penny in front of 37 00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:52.200 my binoculars. He ruined the game? How did a ruin 38 00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:55.719 the game? All after noon? Lincoln was playing in the backfield. 39 00:01:57.879 --> 00:01:59.359 Well, forget the football game? 40 00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:00.560 Much better than set it on her? 41 00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:02.879 Yes, yes, yes, a lot better. We've got We've got 42 00:02:02.879 --> 00:02:04.000 other things to worry about. 43 00:02:04.200 --> 00:02:06.400 You know, our announcer Ken Niles is complaining because he 44 00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:08.800 didn't have enough to do last week. Isn't that right, Ken? Yes? 45 00:02:08.840 --> 00:02:09.159 It is? 46 00:02:10.439 --> 00:02:14.039 After all, I could give the program a lift. I'm 47 00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:15.039 a shot in the arm. 48 00:02:15.159 --> 00:02:18.719 You said it, You're a dough I don't be silly. 49 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:20.400 Costella. Niles is very popular. 50 00:02:20.439 --> 00:02:20.879 Why sure? 51 00:02:20.919 --> 00:02:23.000 Right after the broadcast last week, a lot of women 52 00:02:23.080 --> 00:02:25.439 chased me up Hollywood Boulevard, and one of them caught 53 00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:26.879 me and threw her arms around my neck. 54 00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:29.439 I saw that you did, Yeah, why did you snatch 55 00:02:29.479 --> 00:02:32.759 her pocket book? I'll cut it out, Costello. 56 00:02:33.080 --> 00:02:36.000 Now I talked to Ken's wife, and she says he 57 00:02:36.039 --> 00:02:37.000 should have more lyne. 58 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:40.080 She says he's got talent. She says he's terrific. She 59 00:02:40.120 --> 00:02:41.039 says he's colossal. 60 00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:41.680 She says this. 61 00:02:41.919 --> 00:02:44.319 She says that I don't care what his wife says. 62 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:44.960 Well I do. 63 00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:46.680 My wife is a wonderful person. 64 00:02:46.759 --> 00:02:49.840 She says, necessary to me as an umbrella in a rainstorm. 65 00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:51.840 I'll take the umbrella. It's easier to shut up. 66 00:02:53.800 --> 00:02:56.199 Why don't you be reasonable, Costella. Missus Niles is a 67 00:02:56.360 --> 00:02:57.280 very sweet girls. 68 00:02:57.360 --> 00:02:57.639 She is. 69 00:02:57.759 --> 00:02:59.479 You know, she's a great deal like Sonia Henny. 70 00:02:59.719 --> 00:03:03.560 You mean you have to keep it on nicee? Are 71 00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:04.240 you folks hearing? 72 00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:04.360 No? 73 00:03:04.759 --> 00:03:07.639 Wait a minute, just a minute now, that isn't fair, Costella. 74 00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:09.240 Let's get together here. 75 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:11.439 Give him ten a chance to show what he can do. 76 00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:15.000 Okay, thanks, Bud. I'd like to read a little tidbit 77 00:03:15.080 --> 00:03:16.680 that I could just happen to bring along. 78 00:03:16.960 --> 00:03:18.439 Oh this is gonna merdy. 79 00:03:18.520 --> 00:03:22.520 In one night, as I sat rocking, rocking on my 80 00:03:22.599 --> 00:03:26.039 chamber floor, came a knocking, gentle knocking, knocking on my 81 00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:26.800 chamber door. 82 00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:29.120 Potha raven never more? 83 00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:32.360 Quotha raven never more? 84 00:03:32.159 --> 00:03:33.000 There howl you like that? 85 00:03:33.199 --> 00:03:36.360 Don't look now, but the raven just laid a knee. 86 00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:40.919 Oh everybody, and hellos that little sugar man. 87 00:03:41.439 --> 00:03:44.240 Oh, this voice of this kid is temporaneous. 88 00:03:44.439 --> 00:03:46.039 Quiet quiet, Hello. 89 00:03:45.879 --> 00:03:49.400 Commie, mister Castella, Honey, I'd like you and mister Abbott 90 00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:50.159 to meet someone. 91 00:03:50.639 --> 00:03:51.879 This is my aunt Ruby. 92 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:54.599 Hello, nice to meet you, hi, Aunt Ruby. How do 93 00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:55.319 you like California? 94 00:03:55.439 --> 00:03:56.680 Connie doesn't have enough to do? 95 00:03:56.840 --> 00:03:57.960 Wait a minute, after. 96 00:03:57.800 --> 00:03:59.719 All, alight, listen to the program, Locks, we can MISSU 97 00:03:59.800 --> 00:04:00.479 be more music. 98 00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:03.080 Connie have to sing forty five songs. There's nothing but 99 00:04:03.199 --> 00:04:04.159 talk on the program. 100 00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:05.879 And who wants to hear a lot of talk top 101 00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:06.360 top talk? 102 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:07.360 I talked to to talk. 103 00:04:07.439 --> 00:04:09.360 Oh yeah, it's right. 104 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:12.360 What's the role, mister Costello? 105 00:04:12.520 --> 00:04:13.800 I talked to Connie to sing? 106 00:04:13.919 --> 00:04:14.080 Right? 107 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:16.680 Even I sang in New York, Philadelphia, Cincinnati. 108 00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:17.199 Cleveland, Chicago. 109 00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:18.399 What about Saint Louis? 110 00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:19.639 They beat the Yanks? 111 00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:22.839 Ha ha I really. 112 00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:28.680 I really struck you out that time. You struck me out. Eh, 113 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:31.000 and you're just the old bat. You can do it. Yeah, 114 00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:37.879 Now just a second, Costella, you can't talk right, that 115 00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:41.600 to Connie's ante Ruby. Maybe she's right, Maybe this program 116 00:04:41.639 --> 00:04:44.560 needs more sen exactly. Everyone loves singing something like this 117 00:04:45.240 --> 00:04:46.839 all through the night. 118 00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:50.639 There's a little bit broad, but begins, Oh well, of course, 119 00:04:50.920 --> 00:04:52.759 you know I just had my total taken out. 120 00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:56.560 Have them put back in costello? 121 00:04:56.639 --> 00:04:58.319 What right have you got to criticize? 122 00:04:58.399 --> 00:04:59.959 What do you know about singing? I love have it. 123 00:05:00.120 --> 00:05:02.120 If I hadn't come from such a large family, I'd 124 00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:02.920 have been a great singer. 125 00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:04.680 What did the large family have to do with it? 126 00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:08.519 I could never get in the bathroom? Oh no, come on, 127 00:05:08.639 --> 00:05:10.439 cos I le'll make up your mind. Are you going 128 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:12.160 to give Niles and Connie more to do or not? 129 00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:14.120 Why should I? If I give them more to do 130 00:05:14.360 --> 00:05:16.279 the first thing? You know, even the sound man will 131 00:05:16.279 --> 00:05:16.920 lot more to do? 132 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:17.920 And why shouldn't I? 133 00:05:18.199 --> 00:05:19.959 What did I have on last week's program? 134 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:20.439 Nothing? 135 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:22.600 Not even a door slam. 136 00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:25.399 I understand doors. I know doors inside and out. 137 00:05:26.279 --> 00:05:27.879 I talked to doors and they talk to me. 138 00:05:28.360 --> 00:05:30.600 What do you hear from the mow? 139 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:36.959 Ah? 140 00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:37.959 Well? May you laugh? 141 00:05:38.120 --> 00:05:38.399 Little? 142 00:05:38.439 --> 00:05:41.000 Do you know how important every little sound is to me? 143 00:05:41.480 --> 00:05:43.560 Even the sound of a moth chewing on an overcoat? 144 00:05:43.920 --> 00:05:51.240 Like this what's that funny sound? That's the moths bit, 145 00:05:51.399 --> 00:05:53.000 not the buttons. 146 00:05:54.480 --> 00:05:56.040 Don't you think sounds are fascinating? 147 00:05:56.360 --> 00:05:58.000 Here's a sample of my day. 148 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:00.319 When work is through, I walk home at night in 149 00:06:00.360 --> 00:06:00.680 the rain. 150 00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:05.319 I opened the door. I go in and shut the door. 151 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:09.079 Then I walk upstairs in the rain. It's raining in 152 00:06:09.120 --> 00:06:09.519 the house. 153 00:06:09.879 --> 00:06:11.600 Yes, we're waiting for a government ceiling. 154 00:06:17.079 --> 00:06:19.839 You must have a better rider than us, Huh, I imagine. 155 00:06:19.879 --> 00:06:21.759 So I jump into bed and sleep. 156 00:06:22.120 --> 00:06:28.439 Oh it's morning. What I'm right, I've got to catch 157 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:30.120 the train. I kiss my wife before I go to 158 00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:34.040 the office. My wife thisses, mean I kiss him? She 159 00:06:34.120 --> 00:06:37.120 kisses means Wait a minute, what about the office? With 160 00:06:37.240 --> 00:06:39.439 a wife like that? Why should he go to the office? 161 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:54.199 Lou Lou Costello, Yes, sir, Yeah, how's your spelling this week? 162 00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:55.160 I can spell anything? 163 00:06:55.319 --> 00:06:57.360 Okay, spell crumpets, crumpets? 164 00:06:57.399 --> 00:07:03.399 Yeah, crumpets, crumpets, Yeah, okay, crumpets? She are U wim tees? 165 00:07:04.040 --> 00:07:06.759 Oh wait a minute, you're left out the tea today. 166 00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:10.680 I gotta have crumpets with out tea. Well, why I 167 00:07:10.759 --> 00:07:12.319 lost my sugar ration card? 168 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:18.720 I'll wait a minute. Yeah, any rat ration or ration? 169 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:19.839 Look around here? 170 00:07:19.879 --> 00:07:21.240 You can't forget any teas. 171 00:07:21.480 --> 00:07:23.680 Why not, well, because with us it's important. 172 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:26.360 In fact, with any cigarette smoker, tea ought to. 173 00:07:26.279 --> 00:07:28.439 Be one of the most important letters in the alphabet. 174 00:07:28.680 --> 00:07:29.480 Is that right? 175 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:30.319 Why sure? 176 00:07:30.519 --> 00:07:32.399 Tea stands for taste and throat. 177 00:07:32.920 --> 00:07:35.079 That's anybody's own personal. 178 00:07:34.720 --> 00:07:38.759 Proving ground for cigarettes, the T zone. Of course, most 179 00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:41.680 people have tried camels, but have you tried them lately? 180 00:07:41.839 --> 00:07:45.879 Since you've been smoking more? Give camels the T zone test. Now, 181 00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:50.120 Ask your taste about camel's flavor. You'll find it wears well, 182 00:07:50.279 --> 00:07:54.519 doesn't go flat. Ask your throat about camel's mildness. It's 183 00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:57.759 the best judge you can find. Thousands of smokers who 184 00:07:57.759 --> 00:08:00.959 are making their own T zone test that buy camels 185 00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:04.839 super drew a tea. Just remember that you're the one 186 00:08:04.839 --> 00:08:07.879 who's doing your smoking for steady pleasure. 187 00:08:08.040 --> 00:08:08.839 Dry camels. 188 00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:13.519 You'll find their slow burning, cooler, smoking, richer, tasting, milder 189 00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:19.199 better because camels are expertly and matchlessly blended of costlier tobaccos. 190 00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:21.920 So take a tip from your tea zone. 191 00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:27.000 Your throat and your taste will tell you. See here, 192 00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:31.000 camels get a fact. Tonight you'll want to buy a 193 00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:47.279 carton tomorrow. 194 00:08:42.559 --> 00:08:53.159 Taste when you threw this tiny day of some common. 195 00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:04.600 In eighteen sixteen he became sixty president. Now he's in 196 00:09:04.639 --> 00:09:06.480 the Hall of day, all the. 197 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:42.399 Sectors, just five we sell so very sober, perfect per. 198 00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:12.000 That was leaf Stephen's off this with a camel quintet 199 00:10:12.360 --> 00:10:15.240 doing Abraham from the holiday in a Now, ladies and gentlemen, O, 200 00:10:15.399 --> 00:10:17.320 whyet have it? What does the matter? Hey? Look look 201 00:10:17.320 --> 00:10:19.519 what I got? Look at all the money. Wait a minute, castello, 202 00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:21.240 where did you get that roll of deals? I went 203 00:10:21.279 --> 00:10:22.960 outside for a minute. Just when I reached the corner, 204 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:24.120 a guy ran out of the bank with a bag 205 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:25.480 full of money, and he gave me something. 206 00:10:25.559 --> 00:10:27.600 He gave it, Hugh, What did he look like? 207 00:10:27.799 --> 00:10:29.679 I couldn't tell. He had such a bad call. He 208 00:10:29.720 --> 00:10:33.320 had a handkerchief tiy cross his nose. Well, you dumb cluck, 209 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:34.360 that was a mass. 210 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:35.879 The man was a bank robber. 211 00:10:35.879 --> 00:10:37.639 Oh, I don't think so happened? He was the president. 212 00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:40.000 He offered the summi the bank for a squawk, Sell 213 00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:42.159 you the bank for a squawk. Yeah, he said, one 214 00:10:42.200 --> 00:10:46.799 squawk out of you and I'll give you a business 215 00:10:46.840 --> 00:10:48.240 of all the dumbbells. 216 00:10:48.519 --> 00:10:50.360 Why didn't you go into the bank and investigate. 217 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:52.159 I did go in. I want a way to run 218 00:10:52.200 --> 00:10:54.399 a business. I walked in a couple of crosses playing 219 00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:55.000 hide and seek. 220 00:10:55.039 --> 00:10:56.360 That's ridiculous, honest. 221 00:10:56.559 --> 00:10:58.519 One guy was hiding in the closet. You got that 222 00:10:58.559 --> 00:11:01.039 guy was under the counter. There was nobody around the 223 00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:02.679 play with him. Then there was another guy. 224 00:11:02.799 --> 00:11:03.480 What other guy? 225 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:05.840 He was trying to do trick, trying to do tricks. Yeah, 226 00:11:05.879 --> 00:11:07.679 he was laying on the floor trying to escape from 227 00:11:07.720 --> 00:11:08.279 a lot of rope. 228 00:11:08.399 --> 00:11:10.039 And you thought he was playing a game. 229 00:11:10.480 --> 00:11:13.320 Five time to play games? Uh, especially when he had 230 00:11:13.320 --> 00:11:15.519 a toothache. He didn't have a toothache. Not Then why 231 00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:17.559 did he have a plaster across his mouth? The man 232 00:11:17.639 --> 00:11:19.679 had a gag in his mouth. If he did, he 233 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:20.720 never got a chance to tell it. 234 00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:25.440 You should have taken the plaster off his mouth. 235 00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:28.039 I did, and right away a guy started worrying about 236 00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:29.360 his rationing card. 237 00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:31.279 Worrying about his rationing card. 238 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:34.360 Yeah, he started yelling, they took the sugar, they took 239 00:11:34.360 --> 00:11:37.200 the shawl. No, no, no, costell the man. The man 240 00:11:37.320 --> 00:11:40.039 was yelling because he was stuck up, stuck off. Sure 241 00:11:40.360 --> 00:11:44.240 a five time to get a swell hat. No, somebody 242 00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:45.279 might have robbed the place. 243 00:11:45.720 --> 00:11:47.120 He did rob the plays. 244 00:11:47.200 --> 00:11:50.000 Look, was there anybody with him? Just a woman home him? 245 00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:51.600 Why didn't you mention her before? 246 00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:56.039 She didn't appeal to me? Oh did you pinch her? No? 247 00:11:56.399 --> 00:11:58.639 Then you should have held her. If I'd have held her, 248 00:11:58.799 --> 00:11:59.519 I'd have pinched her. 249 00:11:59.559 --> 00:11:59.639 You. 250 00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:04.720 Hello, bit, do you realize that by keeping the money 251 00:12:04.840 --> 00:12:05.440 and then think. 252 00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:07.480 The crooks get away, you've made yourself an the compass 253 00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:09.519 ten miles playing on the radio. 254 00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:10.519 Maybe we'll get a police report. 255 00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:10.960 Hurry up. 256 00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:14.919 Okay, okay, hey, you cant have it. 257 00:12:15.039 --> 00:12:21.000 What's that? There's a message? Well, what does it say? 258 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:25.759 Attention all citizens? The Fifth National Bank has just been 259 00:12:25.759 --> 00:12:28.320 held up five Black Feete and his gang of desperate bandits. 260 00:12:28.440 --> 00:12:30.519 One last scene. The gang was headed for their hideout 261 00:12:30.519 --> 00:12:33.759 at dead Pan Coach, also at Marches. Their accomplice describe 262 00:12:33.759 --> 00:12:36.279 this five feet tall, five feet Why that is all? 263 00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:43.679 That's me, mister five by five? Gosh, tell her you 264 00:12:43.720 --> 00:12:45.559 know the police are after you. Now you've got to 265 00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:47.039 capture that gang to clear yourself. 266 00:12:47.480 --> 00:12:47.600 Uh. 267 00:12:47.799 --> 00:12:49.919 Now, you can't do it the room, So call a pussey. 268 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:53.919 That's the thing, Okay, hip pussy pass pushy, No, no, no, no, no. 269 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:57.039 Pushy no little please ten pen goal. 270 00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:59.519 She's in the heart of the cattle country. It's the 271 00:12:59.519 --> 00:13:02.120 home of the Western bandits and cattle rustlers. Then I'm 272 00:13:02.120 --> 00:13:04.039 just a guy, Abbott. I became a three letter man 273 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:06.200 chasing cattle wrestlers. Oh how could you become a three 274 00:13:06.240 --> 00:13:09.399 letterman chasing cattle wrestlers? I sat on a branding iron. 275 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:13.519 But did that cause you to catch the wrestlers? Catch him? 276 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:16.960 I passed them. But this is going to be a 277 00:13:16.960 --> 00:13:18.840 long trip. You have to get an outfit. 278 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:19.679 What are you going to wear? 279 00:13:19.879 --> 00:13:22.240 I'll wear a ten gallon hat, a tan shirt, a 280 00:13:22.320 --> 00:13:25.240 leather belt, and a blood hound. What pants a blood hound? 281 00:13:26.440 --> 00:13:28.840 Never mind the outpit. And another thing you lead is 282 00:13:28.840 --> 00:13:29.159 a horse. 283 00:13:29.159 --> 00:13:29.879 Have you got a horse? 284 00:13:29.960 --> 00:13:30.879 Have I got a horse? Yes? 285 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:33.080 I got a horse, and he's my pile that swell. 286 00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:35.279 I eat with my horse. That's one. I drink with 287 00:13:35.360 --> 00:13:38.120 my horse. I even sleep with my horse. You sleep 288 00:13:38.159 --> 00:13:40.120 with your horse? I got it. It's just blanket. 289 00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:43.519 Now tell me can you ride a horse? 290 00:13:43.679 --> 00:13:45.759 You like to ride a horse? One time, Abbot, I 291 00:13:45.799 --> 00:13:48.159 rode two horses at once, standing up. I had my 292 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:49.919 right foot on one horse, my left foot on the 293 00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:51.480 other horse. All of a sudden we came to a 294 00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:54.120 fork in the road. Each horse went in a different direction. 295 00:13:54.360 --> 00:13:55.200 That was a laugh. 296 00:13:55.440 --> 00:14:00.360 Yeah, I thought I split. Well, never mind the fret thing. 297 00:14:00.519 --> 00:14:01.960 The first thing you have to do is find the 298 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:04.320 banness trail. When you do, you leap into the saddle, 299 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:06.279 and the way you go. Your face is turn, your 300 00:14:06.279 --> 00:14:08.960 grip is sure, your clutch is ferm. How's my transmission? 301 00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:09.279 All right? 302 00:14:09.320 --> 00:14:11.480 I last cezy quiet, and you're right. 303 00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:14.519 You ride out across the prairie. You ride for hours 304 00:14:14.519 --> 00:14:18.320 and hours on end. That sounds logical. Don't turn up, 305 00:14:19.279 --> 00:14:23.159 You ride and you ride until your trousers are worn thin. Finally, 306 00:14:23.720 --> 00:14:28.000 there you are. I know i'd come through. Yeah, what 307 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:28.559 are you going to do? 308 00:14:28.960 --> 00:14:31.120 Are you going out after the bandits? Are you going 309 00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:31.840 to clear your name? 310 00:14:31.919 --> 00:14:33.759 I'm gonna clear my name. Habit had a boy, I'll 311 00:14:33.799 --> 00:14:34.000 do it. 312 00:14:34.039 --> 00:14:34.600 I know it's in you. 313 00:14:35.320 --> 00:14:36.919 I'm gonna get it out of me right now. I'm on. 314 00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:39.080 I'll get them bandits. But just tell me one thing. 315 00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:41.320 If I get killed, what's gonna happen to that little 316 00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:43.759 fellow that depends on me? The poor little fellow won't 317 00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:46.320 get anything neat anymore, that poor little fellow, when you 318 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:49.360 would have a roof over his head. If anything happens abit, 319 00:14:49.960 --> 00:14:52.440 it'll kill him, the poor little fellow. 320 00:14:52.519 --> 00:14:55.080 Costello, who is the poor little fellow? 321 00:14:55.399 --> 00:14:55.480 Me? 322 00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:09.399 And here's Connie Haynes with a cabo Clinton the thing, 323 00:15:09.399 --> 00:15:13.600 and you, Juan of the old West, out on the. 324 00:15:13.480 --> 00:15:20.480 Plane down there, sat fae. I made a cowboy riding 325 00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:26.240 the range one day, and as the john alone, I 326 00:15:26.360 --> 00:15:32.639 heard him saying him almost peculiar a cowboys home. It 327 00:15:32.879 --> 00:15:38.799 was a pitty he learned in the pitty. Imna tell ye, yeah, 328 00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:45.759 he comna tell you say and get along, get him 329 00:15:46.200 --> 00:15:52.480 little cookies, get along, fed me on your way, Get 330 00:15:52.559 --> 00:15:58.360 along yet him little log is that a truck? Him 331 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:03.360 on down the old bail way, singing his cat yeah 332 00:16:04.840 --> 00:16:10.440 in the tray this way, coma yeah yeah. 333 00:16:09.480 --> 00:16:10.120 Comma. 334 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:17.799 Singing his cowboys. He's just too much. He's gotta knock 335 00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:22.480 stop webstern accent with a problem touch. 336 00:16:23.080 --> 00:16:25.000 He was raised no. 337 00:16:27.879 --> 00:16:32.360 What you call wing half breeze, sang in his cat 338 00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:39.799 ya along in the pray interesting, coma yeah yeah, comma tip. 339 00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:43.279 His cowboys. 340 00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:45.879 He's just too He's. 341 00:16:49.080 --> 00:16:54.440 With a hall touche was raised on long go we 342 00:16:56.360 --> 00:16:59.919 he's what you call wing everye. 343 00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:12.279 Sang in this cow ya buggy in the strain way. 344 00:17:09.400 --> 00:17:20.000 Yea karmata. It's the cow cowbugy, the cowboy buggy. 345 00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:36.559 Now back to the adventures of our heroes Abbott and Costello, 346 00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:38.319 as we find them hot on the trail of the 347 00:17:38.359 --> 00:17:41.720 bank bandit Black Peat. Leading a posse of men, they 348 00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:44.640 track the villain to the lawless town of Dead Pan Gulch. 349 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:46.799 Here they are riding up the main street of the 350 00:17:46.839 --> 00:17:49.160 town like spurs. 351 00:17:49.160 --> 00:17:53.160 Drink jule, dingo, dingo, jingo, jinko jingo. 352 00:17:53.160 --> 00:17:53.559 What's wrong? 353 00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:54.079 What's wrong? 354 00:17:54.240 --> 00:17:55.839 One of my spurs got stuck? 355 00:17:57.160 --> 00:17:57.640 Costella? 356 00:17:57.640 --> 00:17:58.559 What do you think you're doing? 357 00:17:58.839 --> 00:18:00.720 Why are you riding under e't your horse? 358 00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:02.880 Well? My horse isn't feeling well, have itt and the 359 00:18:02.920 --> 00:18:08.200 doctor told me to watch the stomach. Well, here we are, man, 360 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:11.319 we'll probably find Black Peat in the Red Dog cafe 361 00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:13.759 across the street. Stop your horse, okay. 362 00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:16.839 Whoa bally, oh, whoa. 363 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:21.920 Oo a A boy here, can easy me sit down? 364 00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:26.000 Whoa no, all right, man, everybody into the bar for 365 00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:31.359 a drink now, just a man, Your horse will stay outside, 366 00:18:35.079 --> 00:18:37.880 all right, Let's go in and listen, Castello. When we 367 00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:41.920 go through this door, have your gun ready if anybody moves, shoot. 368 00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:50.960 If anybody shoots, I'll move. Oh, speaking of my glory 369 00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:54.400 and my face, haven't listen to that? What a pair 370 00:18:54.440 --> 00:18:59.359 of pipes? Wish I was a pummer Stello? Don't you 371 00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:08.519 recognize term like pen ghat the same? Oh? My lane, 372 00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:21.599 the trick? Oh look at that lovely face. That face 373 00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:24.559 has made a fortune. Yeah, it runs into a nice figure. 374 00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:29.440 Hello boy, Hello boys? 375 00:19:30.319 --> 00:19:31.640 How big are men? Where you come from? 376 00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:34.680 Welcome to the red Darkfy? 377 00:19:35.119 --> 00:19:36.160 Did you like my song? 378 00:19:37.039 --> 00:19:38.359 What do you think of my range? 379 00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:41.559 Your range is lovely. In fact, I like your whole kitchen. 380 00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:46.880 Your flatter me. You're probably tired after your long trip. 381 00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:48.160 How about a drink? 382 00:19:48.359 --> 00:19:52.119 Okay, I'll have a Crosby cocktail. What one drink and 383 00:19:52.160 --> 00:19:53.000 then bing. 384 00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:57.960 With your personality, I would suggest straight corn? 385 00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:04.400 What a fresh kid? Just a minute, Marlene, Now you 386 00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:06.240 see neither one of us is a drinking man. Do 387 00:20:06.279 --> 00:20:07.599 you have anything a little milder? 388 00:20:07.960 --> 00:20:09.880 Try a drink of this very mild wine. 389 00:20:10.119 --> 00:20:17.559 That sounds better. I'll try it just a minute. 390 00:20:18.039 --> 00:20:21.319 What's I don't understand that wine is made here by 391 00:20:21.319 --> 00:20:22.599 the happy Indians. 392 00:20:23.559 --> 00:20:29.400 Happy Indians. Well, the Indians are still hopping at it, Gorcella. 393 00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:31.599 That silly. Come on, let's go over and watch the 394 00:20:31.640 --> 00:20:32.559 boys play rolette. 395 00:20:32.599 --> 00:20:35.200 Yes, or perhaps you both would rather play a game 396 00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:37.839 with me, Poker Pharaoh black Jack. 397 00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:40.240 I'd rather play post office. 398 00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:41.519 But that's the. 399 00:20:41.559 --> 00:20:52.640 Kid's game, not the way I play it, you know, 400 00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:53.599 little fat man. 401 00:20:54.200 --> 00:20:56.359