WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.800 --> 00:00:08.880
<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, I'm back. It's something for you to

2
00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:09.919
<v Speaker 1>think about.

3
00:00:11.800 --> 00:00:15.759
<v Speaker 2>Many many people think because a person does not hit

4
00:00:15.839 --> 00:00:19.719
<v Speaker 2>them physically assault.

5
00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:25.920
<v Speaker 1>Them, that it's not abuse. You heard me.

6
00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:35.320
<v Speaker 2>Many people think that because it's hands free abuse, that

7
00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:38.840
<v Speaker 2>it's not abuse. The baby, I'm here to tell you,

8
00:00:39.320 --> 00:00:44.119
<v Speaker 2>it is abuse. So many people do not understand it.

9
00:00:45.159 --> 00:00:48.479
<v Speaker 2>They think, oh, well, he didn't do this or she

10
00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:56.799
<v Speaker 2>didn't do that. They don't think it's abuse. A person

11
00:00:56.920 --> 00:01:01.119
<v Speaker 2>don't have to physically hit you. It's called my definition,

12
00:01:01.600 --> 00:01:12.359
<v Speaker 2>hands free abuse, but they tear you up mentally, emotionally, verbally,

13
00:01:14.319 --> 00:01:17.400
<v Speaker 2>and that can be just as bad as hitting you.

14
00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Hands free abuse.

15
00:01:25.159 --> 00:01:29.400
<v Speaker 2>There are many people who are in hands free abuse

16
00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:32.599
<v Speaker 2>relationships and they think.

17
00:01:33.879 --> 00:01:34.840
<v Speaker 1>It's not abuse.

18
00:01:37.799 --> 00:01:42.159
<v Speaker 2>People who think like that do not understand their worth.

19
00:01:45.040 --> 00:01:51.879
<v Speaker 2>So often people lose confidence. Some people never had it.

20
00:01:53.719 --> 00:02:00.280
<v Speaker 2>They lack confidence in self, no belief in self, have

21
00:02:00.359 --> 00:02:05.359
<v Speaker 2>no faith in self because they chose to empower the

22
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:11.520
<v Speaker 2>person that they're with. Some people are so mentally weak

23
00:02:11.719 --> 00:02:18.000
<v Speaker 2>that they empower individuals that are around them. They let

24
00:02:18.039 --> 00:02:21.520
<v Speaker 2>people just totally treat them any kind of way. And

25
00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:25.599
<v Speaker 2>guess what, if you've listened to my podcast, you know

26
00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:29.400
<v Speaker 2>in many episodes. I tell you people treat you how

27
00:02:29.439 --> 00:02:34.960
<v Speaker 2>you have taught them to treat you. Some of you,

28
00:02:34.960 --> 00:02:40.759
<v Speaker 2>your confidence is so low because you've empowered that person

29
00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:44.360
<v Speaker 2>you're with to do whatever they want to do to you.

30
00:02:45.080 --> 00:02:46.360
<v Speaker 1>Some of you lose your.

31
00:02:46.280 --> 00:02:53.360
<v Speaker 2>Children, you lose your friends, you lose your family because

32
00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:59.280
<v Speaker 2>you want to stay with that individual, and you will

33
00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:02.159
<v Speaker 2>choose that person over your loved ones.

34
00:03:02.039 --> 00:03:04.680
<v Speaker 1>Over your children, over your family, over your friends.

35
00:03:04.919 --> 00:03:08.400
<v Speaker 2>You will choose that abusive person because you think you

36
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:09.439
<v Speaker 2>love that person.

37
00:03:09.800 --> 00:03:11.159
<v Speaker 1>But it's clear.

38
00:03:13.560 --> 00:03:17.879
<v Speaker 2>People who are this way have no clue what love is.

39
00:03:18.520 --> 00:03:20.199
<v Speaker 1>None, and neither of you.

40
00:03:20.360 --> 00:03:23.680
<v Speaker 2>The person who's abusing you, they don't know what love

41
00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:28.960
<v Speaker 2>is either, because if they did, they.

42
00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:35.879
<v Speaker 1>Definitely wouldn't be doing any of what they're doing. Abuse

43
00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:38.120
<v Speaker 1>has nothing to do with love.

44
00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:43.800
<v Speaker 2>It's about control and possession and being obsessive over you.

45
00:03:44.439 --> 00:03:48.800
<v Speaker 1>It has nothing to do with love or being in

46
00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:57.599
<v Speaker 1>love with you. It's about control. Some of you are miserable.

47
00:03:57.319 --> 00:04:00.639
<v Speaker 2>Right now as I speak, as you hear my voice,

48
00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:05.280
<v Speaker 2>you are miserable because you are in those hands free relationships,

49
00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:15.919
<v Speaker 2>just being controlled. They talk about you, they make you cry,

50
00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:22.680
<v Speaker 2>they put you down, they do everything negative to you

51
00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:27.480
<v Speaker 2>and you still think you love them, you still want

52
00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:30.360
<v Speaker 2>to be in a relationship with them. That's because you

53
00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:37.920
<v Speaker 2>don't love yourself. And that would challenge anyone, because there's

54
00:04:38.160 --> 00:04:41.839
<v Speaker 2>no way a person loves his or herself and they

55
00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:47.759
<v Speaker 2>are allowing someone to degrade them. There's no way. You

56
00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:51.439
<v Speaker 2>don't know what love is. You don't love yourself. When

57
00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:57.519
<v Speaker 2>you don't love yourself, I'm sorry. You don't understand love.

58
00:04:58.279 --> 00:05:00.839
<v Speaker 2>Therefore you don't know what it is or what it isn't,

59
00:05:01.560 --> 00:05:06.560
<v Speaker 2>and you will accept almost anything some people, anything in

60
00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:08.759
<v Speaker 2>the name of what you think is love.

61
00:05:11.439 --> 00:05:14.279
<v Speaker 1>You're drained. People around you see it.

62
00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:18.480
<v Speaker 2>They see the change in you see people when they're

63
00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:22.519
<v Speaker 2>under distress and they're going through a lot of negativity.

64
00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:30.040
<v Speaker 2>They don't understand that they change for the worst, especially

65
00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:34.160
<v Speaker 2>people who are already vulngal and going through things, already

66
00:05:35.240 --> 00:05:41.120
<v Speaker 2>got a lot of issues unresolved going on inside. They

67
00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:46.000
<v Speaker 2>get with individuals who are of like minds, and all

68
00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:49.240
<v Speaker 2>those individuals do is bring all of their drama.

69
00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:51.560
<v Speaker 1>All of their pain, all of their.

70
00:05:51.399 --> 00:05:54.720
<v Speaker 2>Negativity into your life and make your life worse. I've

71
00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:57.199
<v Speaker 2>told you many times.

72
00:05:57.759 --> 00:06:00.879
<v Speaker 1>The person that you're with is so supposed.

73
00:06:00.439 --> 00:06:05.959
<v Speaker 2>To enhance your life, not make you struggle more, not

74
00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:10.040
<v Speaker 2>bring you down, not make you more stress. They should

75
00:06:10.279 --> 00:06:16.720
<v Speaker 2>enhance your life for the battom. But when you don't

76
00:06:16.759 --> 00:06:20.360
<v Speaker 2>love yourself, all you're looking for is love, but you

77
00:06:20.519 --> 00:06:23.439
<v Speaker 2>never receive it because the person that you choose to

78
00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:28.000
<v Speaker 2>be with don't love his or herself. They don't understand

79
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:30.680
<v Speaker 2>love either. That's why they treat you the way they

80
00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:33.199
<v Speaker 2>treat you, and that's why you allow them to.

81
00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:40.040
<v Speaker 1>Some of you are so belentled.

82
00:06:42.759 --> 00:06:50.639
<v Speaker 2>You're called ugly, you're called fat, you're called untalented, you're

83
00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:57.839
<v Speaker 2>called dumb, you're called stupid, you're called every single thing negative.

84
00:07:00.839 --> 00:07:07.639
<v Speaker 1>Yet you still think you love that person. It's just

85
00:07:09.800 --> 00:07:11.279
<v Speaker 1>it's so so sad.

86
00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:16.560
<v Speaker 2>It's so sad that people subject themselves to this type

87
00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:22.560
<v Speaker 2>of treatment. The person is only doing it to you

88
00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:30.480
<v Speaker 2>because you have empowered them too. You've empowered them. Let me,

89
00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:35.800
<v Speaker 2>let me tell you, a person is not going to

90
00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:46.000
<v Speaker 2>treat you in any way other than how you have allowed.

91
00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:54.079
<v Speaker 2>When you sit there and you take it, you only

92
00:07:54.160 --> 00:07:58.439
<v Speaker 2>empower them, and they talk about you like a dog.

93
00:07:58.839 --> 00:08:01.959
<v Speaker 2>They treat you like a dog in front of people

94
00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:05.680
<v Speaker 2>and behind closed doors, and you still want to be

95
00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:06.399
<v Speaker 2>with that person.

96
00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:09.000
<v Speaker 1>You need to look at yourself.

97
00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:17.759
<v Speaker 2>Look at yourself and figure out why what are you

98
00:08:17.920 --> 00:08:18.879
<v Speaker 2>doing to yourself?

99
00:08:19.319 --> 00:08:22.160
<v Speaker 1>Why do you not love yourself?

100
00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:25.519
<v Speaker 2>Why do you feel that this person is so good

101
00:08:25.560 --> 00:08:27.560
<v Speaker 2>to you when clearly they are not.

102
00:08:31.519 --> 00:08:32.440
<v Speaker 1>They're calling you.

103
00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:38.000
<v Speaker 2>Names, You're stressed out, you can't sleep, you're depressed, you

104
00:08:38.039 --> 00:08:43.279
<v Speaker 2>have anxiety, all types of things because of the stress

105
00:08:43.320 --> 00:08:47.679
<v Speaker 2>in your life. Yet you still want to be with

106
00:08:47.720 --> 00:08:53.279
<v Speaker 2>that person because you have nothing to call your own.

107
00:08:54.639 --> 00:08:58.960
<v Speaker 2>Most times, that's the issue, that's the reason. Rather people

108
00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:02.159
<v Speaker 2>have nothing to call their own, so they would rather

109
00:09:02.360 --> 00:09:07.440
<v Speaker 2>stay in an abusive relationship than to move on and

110
00:09:07.559 --> 00:09:11.320
<v Speaker 2>start over. But that's because you don't love yourself.

111
00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:14.480
<v Speaker 1>There is no way.

112
00:09:14.919 --> 00:09:17.440
<v Speaker 2>No one on the face of the earth can ever

113
00:09:17.639 --> 00:09:22.440
<v Speaker 2>convince me that they love themselves if they are allowing

114
00:09:22.559 --> 00:09:27.360
<v Speaker 2>themselves to be treated badly by anyone.

115
00:09:27.639 --> 00:09:29.320
<v Speaker 1>You don't. You can't.

116
00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:35.120
<v Speaker 2>There's no way, There is no way. But a lot

117
00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:37.960
<v Speaker 2>of people are dealing with this. A lot of people

118
00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:42.120
<v Speaker 2>are so broken they can't even think for themselves.

119
00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:45.440
<v Speaker 1>What the person says to.

120
00:09:45.320 --> 00:09:48.759
<v Speaker 2>Them, calling them out of their names and being very

121
00:09:48.919 --> 00:09:53.919
<v Speaker 2>negative to them. The things they say, they believe it.

122
00:09:54.360 --> 00:09:58.080
<v Speaker 2>They believe they're worthless. People be believe in those things.

123
00:09:58.320 --> 00:10:01.679
<v Speaker 2>They believe those negative things because because that person has

124
00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:05.919
<v Speaker 2>a grip on them, they have a hold on them.

125
00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:13.000
<v Speaker 1>And they know it because you empower them.

126
00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:17.679
<v Speaker 2>You show them your vulnerabilities and now they are using

127
00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:25.840
<v Speaker 2>it against you. And some of you think you are

128
00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:29.279
<v Speaker 2>so in love with that person, but it's not love.

129
00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:32.919
<v Speaker 2>And I've told you many times in many episodes how

130
00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:37.679
<v Speaker 2>manipulators they know their manipulators, liars and deceivers.

131
00:10:37.799 --> 00:10:39.480
<v Speaker 1>They know it, but.

132
00:10:39.360 --> 00:10:45.200
<v Speaker 2>They become masters because you empower them to.

133
00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:53.399
<v Speaker 1>You empower them.

134
00:10:51.639 --> 00:10:54.480
<v Speaker 2>When you let them say whatever they want to say

135
00:10:54.519 --> 00:11:04.440
<v Speaker 2>to you. Verbally abuse you, emotional abuse you, mentally abuse

136
00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:12.399
<v Speaker 2>you hands free. Hands free abuse is just as damaging

137
00:11:12.840 --> 00:11:22.120
<v Speaker 2>as physical abuse. You still have scars and wounds, they're

138
00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:30.000
<v Speaker 2>just not from physical assault, and they last a long time,

139
00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:36.879
<v Speaker 2>especially when you have no coping mechanism.

140
00:11:37.159 --> 00:11:39.759
<v Speaker 1>That's why I tell you all of the time.

141
00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:46.159
<v Speaker 2>You must love and know yourself before you get into

142
00:11:46.240 --> 00:11:49.919
<v Speaker 2>a relationship with anyone. And it's always best to have

143
00:11:50.039 --> 00:11:54.519
<v Speaker 2>your own because when you don't have your own, that

144
00:11:54.919 --> 00:12:00.360
<v Speaker 2>alone gives whoever you're with the upper hand or you

145
00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:06.080
<v Speaker 2>they feel that they can talk to you any kind

146
00:12:06.080 --> 00:12:08.720
<v Speaker 2>of way. They feel they can, they can treat you

147
00:12:08.840 --> 00:12:10.919
<v Speaker 2>any kind of way because.

148
00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:14.600
<v Speaker 1>You don't have anything. Everything is theirs.

149
00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:22.480
<v Speaker 2>People make such a huge mistake or let me say

150
00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:26.399
<v Speaker 2>bad choice, because it's not a mistake, bad bad choices

151
00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:27.240
<v Speaker 2>and decisions.

152
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:29.360
<v Speaker 1>When they get with people.

153
00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:35.639
<v Speaker 2>Who have their own and you don't have yours, people

154
00:12:36.039 --> 00:12:41.200
<v Speaker 2>treat you differently. It's not like a person, Oh, I

155
00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:43.519
<v Speaker 2>love you so much, I'm so in love with you.

156
00:12:44.559 --> 00:12:48.840
<v Speaker 1>Whatever I have is yours. That's not normally the case.

157
00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:56.159
<v Speaker 2>People use and abuse, They manipulate, they take advantage because

158
00:12:56.200 --> 00:13:01.080
<v Speaker 2>they know you don't have your own. And people subject

159
00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:08.679
<v Speaker 2>themselves to such cruelty thinking it's love because you get

160
00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:12.960
<v Speaker 2>those little nipples and nuggets that I talk about, you know,

161
00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:21.639
<v Speaker 2>just a little bit of showing you some form of

162
00:13:22.279 --> 00:13:25.159
<v Speaker 2>what you perceive as love. They show you a little

163
00:13:25.159 --> 00:13:28.639
<v Speaker 2>bit here and there, enough to make you feel good

164
00:13:28.919 --> 00:13:32.720
<v Speaker 2>and make you smile before they subject you to hands

165
00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:33.360
<v Speaker 2>free abuse.

166
00:13:33.399 --> 00:13:33.720
<v Speaker 1>Again.

167
00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:41.159
<v Speaker 2>People do it all the time because they're master manipulators

168
00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:46.039
<v Speaker 2>and they know they have the upper hand on you.

169
00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:52.279
<v Speaker 2>They see your vulnerability, they see your weakness, but you

170
00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:57.320
<v Speaker 2>don't see theirs. People who do that are weak individuals.

171
00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:07.480
<v Speaker 2>You empower them. Many people are in such toxic relationships

172
00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:11.360
<v Speaker 2>that they choose to remain in. And like I said

173
00:14:11.399 --> 00:14:14.639
<v Speaker 2>in the beginning of this episode, just because a person

174
00:14:14.720 --> 00:14:18.799
<v Speaker 2>don't knock you upside your head, smack you across your face,

175
00:14:20.399 --> 00:14:24.120
<v Speaker 2>punch you, spit on you, or whatever, it does not mean.

176
00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:29.559
<v Speaker 1>That the verbal.

177
00:14:31.399 --> 00:14:35.759
<v Speaker 2>And the emotional and mental things that you're going through

178
00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:36.960
<v Speaker 2>are not abused.

179
00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:38.279
<v Speaker 1>It is abuse.

180
00:14:38.759 --> 00:14:42.559
<v Speaker 2>It still is a form of abuse that I call

181
00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:50.960
<v Speaker 2>hands free. Some of you need to sit down, get

182
00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:54.440
<v Speaker 2>you a piece of paper, and you write the pros

183
00:14:54.480 --> 00:14:59.360
<v Speaker 2>and the comes of your relationships, or the good and

184
00:14:59.399 --> 00:15:06.639
<v Speaker 2>the bad of you your relationships, and be honest with yourself.

185
00:15:06.679 --> 00:15:12.799
<v Speaker 1>What do you see. There's no way the good is

186
00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:14.399
<v Speaker 1>going to outweigh the bad.

187
00:15:14.559 --> 00:15:19.799
<v Speaker 2>There's no way when you're receiving emotional and mental and

188
00:15:19.879 --> 00:15:27.360
<v Speaker 2>verbal abuse, No way when you subject yourself to that.

189
00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:31.320
<v Speaker 2>It shows what you think about yourself. You don't think

190
00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:35.240
<v Speaker 2>you're worthy. You don't know your worth or your value.

191
00:15:35.320 --> 00:15:36.399
<v Speaker 2>You just don't know it.

192
00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:42.080
<v Speaker 1>You just don't.

193
00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:48.720
<v Speaker 2>A lot of people think they know. A lot of

194
00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:52.200
<v Speaker 2>people think they're wise. A lot of people think they're strong.

195
00:15:52.879 --> 00:15:55.720
<v Speaker 2>A lot of people think they have it together. A

196
00:15:55.759 --> 00:16:00.080
<v Speaker 2>lot of people think they are mature in all.

197
00:16:00.200 --> 00:16:03.440
<v Speaker 1>The above is a no, they're not.

198
00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:10.559
<v Speaker 2>I've always told you, if you want to know the

199
00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:15.120
<v Speaker 2>truth about yourself, look at your situation.

200
00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:20.840
<v Speaker 1>What are you allowing in your life life? How are

201
00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:22.000
<v Speaker 1>you allowing.

202
00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:27.320
<v Speaker 2>People to treat you, especially the ones who supposedly are

203
00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:30.360
<v Speaker 2>in love with you. How are they treating you? A

204
00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:33.440
<v Speaker 2>person who is in love with you is not going

205
00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:38.720
<v Speaker 2>to abuse you in no kind of way at all.

206
00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:44.080
<v Speaker 1>They're not.

207
00:16:47.159 --> 00:16:50.279
<v Speaker 2>So you have to look at what you are subjecting

208
00:16:50.360 --> 00:16:54.000
<v Speaker 2>yourself to, what you allow people to do to you,

209
00:16:54.320 --> 00:17:00.440
<v Speaker 2>how you allow people to talk to you. I know

210
00:17:00.559 --> 00:17:05.559
<v Speaker 2>people want love so bad, they're so desperate for love,

211
00:17:09.079 --> 00:17:10.039
<v Speaker 2>but what you get.

212
00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:13.519
<v Speaker 1>Is not love at all. It is not love.

213
00:17:14.039 --> 00:17:20.880
<v Speaker 2>It is abuse and being taken for granted, used, That's

214
00:17:20.920 --> 00:17:31.799
<v Speaker 2>what it is. Manipulators do their job. They make you

215
00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:36.720
<v Speaker 2>think they love you, but they don't if they're abusing you,

216
00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:48.480
<v Speaker 2>because it's not love. It's hands free abuse, and many

217
00:17:48.680 --> 00:17:53.119
<v Speaker 2>many people go through this. Many people subject themselves to

218
00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:54.400
<v Speaker 2>hands free abuse.

219
00:17:58.240 --> 00:17:59.160
<v Speaker 1>There is no way.

220
00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:05.400
<v Speaker 2>Now. I've told you early on that I was in

221
00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:09.880
<v Speaker 2>an abusive relationship when I was young, in my late teens.

222
00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:13.759
<v Speaker 1>I got married early. I didn't know any better.

223
00:18:16.079 --> 00:18:20.200
<v Speaker 2>But baby, I grew up fast and I got out

224
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:27.279
<v Speaker 2>of it. I literally ran away, escaped from a whole

225
00:18:27.319 --> 00:18:33.559
<v Speaker 2>different country. No, Lie, I did what I had to do,

226
00:18:35.839 --> 00:18:39.920
<v Speaker 2>and I never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever

227
00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:40.880
<v Speaker 2>looked back.

228
00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:45.200
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm.

229
00:18:46.279 --> 00:18:51.680
<v Speaker 2>No, I was never going back for more. I learned

230
00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:59.720
<v Speaker 2>a great lesson and that was it, because I know,

231
00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:06.920
<v Speaker 2>even going through my own personal situation, I fought back.

232
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:13.039
<v Speaker 2>I fought back, but I was a little something. But

233
00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:16.640
<v Speaker 2>I still fall back. I've always been, you know, a

234
00:19:16.680 --> 00:19:20.839
<v Speaker 2>little rough around the collar when it comes to physical.

235
00:19:23.079 --> 00:19:29.279
<v Speaker 1>But I realized I don't want this for myself. I

236
00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:30.440
<v Speaker 1>deserve better than this.

237
00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:40.720
<v Speaker 2>And yes, I literally escaped, never looked back. People do

238
00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:46.359
<v Speaker 2>to you what you allow. I could have sat there

239
00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:51.920
<v Speaker 2>for years and years, taken all of that abuse, or

240
00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:55.039
<v Speaker 2>end up doing something crazy to protect myself.

241
00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:02.599
<v Speaker 1>None of it is worth it. None it. And any

242
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:03.640
<v Speaker 1>person who.

243
00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:09.920
<v Speaker 2>Is enduring abuse, you deserve better. You deserve much better

244
00:20:09.960 --> 00:20:16.920
<v Speaker 2>than that. I've always also told you that we create

245
00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:18.440
<v Speaker 2>the monsters in our lives.

246
00:20:20.599 --> 00:20:23.160
<v Speaker 1>We create monsters.

247
00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:29.759
<v Speaker 2>By allowing them to treat us badly, talking to us badly,

248
00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:34.160
<v Speaker 2>doing whatever they want to do to us. That's how

249
00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:38.279
<v Speaker 2>you create monsters. In your lives. People do it all

250
00:20:38.319 --> 00:20:44.839
<v Speaker 2>the time. But when you know better, you should do better.

251
00:20:47.319 --> 00:20:51.799
<v Speaker 2>But a lot of people don't learn from their previous experiences.

252
00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:57.000
<v Speaker 2>They just go right on into a new relationship, carrying

253
00:20:57.000 --> 00:21:06.359
<v Speaker 2>the same baggage mindset and end up going through similar

254
00:21:06.680 --> 00:21:18.920
<v Speaker 2>or worse abuses. Abuse. There's no other way to slice

255
00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:21.599
<v Speaker 2>it up, clean it up.

256
00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:26.640
<v Speaker 1>Abuse is abused, and you.

257
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:35.319
<v Speaker 3>Can be abused verbally, emotionally, mentally that has no physical contact,

258
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:37.880
<v Speaker 3>but it's just as horrific.

259
00:21:39.079 --> 00:21:46.559
<v Speaker 2>Because it messes people up mentally. It scars people mentally.

260
00:21:47.799 --> 00:21:56.200
<v Speaker 2>But people only do to you what you allow. See

261
00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:59.839
<v Speaker 2>a lot of times people are like, well they never

262
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:05.799
<v Speaker 2>hit me, I don't fear them hitting me. You're broken

263
00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:11.799
<v Speaker 2>because you're making excuses. You're making it seem like it's

264
00:22:11.839 --> 00:22:17.000
<v Speaker 2>okay because they haven't hit you. They've done everything else.

265
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:24.759
<v Speaker 2>It's still abuse. So again I would say, anybody who

266
00:22:24.839 --> 00:22:28.240
<v Speaker 2>subject themselves to it, you have to look at yourself.

267
00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:32.160
<v Speaker 2>You have to take a look at yourself. I did,

268
00:22:32.559 --> 00:22:37.440
<v Speaker 2>and I was a kid basically. I mean I was

269
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:41.400
<v Speaker 2>out of high school and on my own and things

270
00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:45.240
<v Speaker 2>like that, but still I wasn't twenty years old yet.

271
00:22:50.200 --> 00:22:56.599
<v Speaker 1>But I learned Hey, uh no, I deserve better.

272
00:22:56.359 --> 00:23:04.359
<v Speaker 2>Than this, and I made moves.

273
00:23:05.359 --> 00:23:10.079
<v Speaker 1>To get out of there, and I did and I

274
00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:11.279
<v Speaker 1>never looked back.

275
00:23:15.400 --> 00:23:20.519
<v Speaker 2>You know, sometimes it's scary starting over, but hey, it's

276
00:23:20.559 --> 00:23:24.799
<v Speaker 2>better to start over than to end up dead or

277
00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:28.359
<v Speaker 2>in prison because you have to murder and self defense,

278
00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:32.119
<v Speaker 2>or you done lost your mind because you're so stressed

279
00:23:32.119 --> 00:23:35.599
<v Speaker 2>out and strained, or you kill yourself because you think

280
00:23:35.640 --> 00:23:39.119
<v Speaker 2>that's your only way out. Come on, No, no, no, no,

281
00:23:39.119 --> 00:23:42.839
<v Speaker 2>no no. No one has to subject themselves to it.

282
00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:47.319
<v Speaker 2>Learn to love yourself. Whatever's going on inside of you,

283
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:51.000
<v Speaker 2>that unheal part of you, allow healing to take place,

284
00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:55.279
<v Speaker 2>so you can learn to love yourself and know that

285
00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:56.359
<v Speaker 2>you deserve better.

286
00:24:00.680 --> 00:24:02.839
<v Speaker 1>Once you understand that, you will.

287
00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:06.799
<v Speaker 2>Never allow anyone to mistreat you again.

288
00:24:10.440 --> 00:24:12.599
<v Speaker 1>I want you to think about this. I want you

289
00:24:12.680 --> 00:24:17.319
<v Speaker 1>to replay this episode over and over and over until

290
00:24:17.359 --> 00:24:20.960
<v Speaker 1>you get it. You deserve better.

291
00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:27.359
<v Speaker 2>It is not love. If abuse is a part of it,

292
00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:34.079
<v Speaker 2>it is not love. And you don't love yourself, and

293
00:24:34.119 --> 00:24:35.240
<v Speaker 2>you're not wise.

294
00:24:38.599 --> 00:24:39.559
<v Speaker 1>You just think you.

295
00:24:39.559 --> 00:24:44.240
<v Speaker 2>Are because a wise person wouldn't take that, A person

296
00:24:44.279 --> 00:24:46.160
<v Speaker 2>who loved themselves wouldn't take it.

297
00:24:52.599 --> 00:24:56.000
<v Speaker 1>Because a person treats you how you allow.

298
00:24:57.160 --> 00:25:02.079
<v Speaker 2>And instead of internalizing it and bringing all of the

299
00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:07.039
<v Speaker 2>negativity into yourself as if you are the problem. No,

300
00:25:07.799 --> 00:25:14.000
<v Speaker 2>you have to understand that you are allowing this in

301
00:25:14.079 --> 00:25:19.039
<v Speaker 2>your life. But you're better than that, and you deserve

302
00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:22.559
<v Speaker 2>better than that. Don't internalize it and make you hate

303
00:25:22.599 --> 00:25:31.759
<v Speaker 2>yourself more. No, love yourself and know that you deserve better.

304
00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:38.359
<v Speaker 2>Know you worth more than being abused. Hands free abuse

305
00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:41.880
<v Speaker 2>is still abused. I'm leaving it right there. Thank you

306
00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:47.200
<v Speaker 2>so much for listener. Please share this episode. So many

307
00:25:47.240 --> 00:25:51.640
<v Speaker 2>people are in hands free abusive relationships.

308
00:25:53.119 --> 00:26:02.480
<v Speaker 1>That's tearing them up mentally and emotionally. Thank you for listening.

309
00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:08.519
<v Speaker 2>Much much much love to each and every one of you.

310
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:15.319
<v Speaker 2>They're only gonna do to you what you are allowing

311
00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:20.640
<v Speaker 2>them to do. Some people are in relationships and there

312
00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:25.039
<v Speaker 2>you are fearful. But that's what abuses do. They instill fear.

313
00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:32.720
<v Speaker 2>They want you to be fearful. Whatever you allow is

314
00:26:32.759 --> 00:26:38.200
<v Speaker 2>what you're gonna get. I love you all so much.

315
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:43.440
<v Speaker 2>Please reach out to me anytime. Share this episode. I

316
00:26:43.640 --> 00:26:48.000
<v Speaker 2>end all episodes the same, and I hope that God knows.

317
00:26:48.079 --> 00:26:50.400
<v Speaker 2>I pray you do it.

318
00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:53.039
<v Speaker 1>Thank on it