Speaker 1: Hope this email finds you well, overworked and underplayed? Is
it not safe for work? Dungeons and Dragons actual play
podcast about a group of young professionals from the real
world who find themselves transported to a strangely familiar place
full of fantasy and magic. See attached for episode descriptions
and content warnings. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2: Hello is this thing on?
Speaker 3: Hello?
Speaker 4: Hello, welcome to Bluegle Terminal three sixty seven. There's our identification.
Speaker 2: Please, my name's Crystal West.
Speaker 4: Crystal No. Two zero proceed, Thank you?
Speaker 2: Okay, I can I do? I? What setting do I
do to send it to all of my followers?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 6: What is there?
Speaker 2: I need to send a message to my downline?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 5: What? Okay?
Speaker 2: Fine? Sure, sure, Okay, hopefully this works. Okay. Hey bosses,
Hey boss bros, Hey boss ays, and boss those. I'm Crystal,
I'm your leader. You're one and only. And something just
really frustrating happened to me, and I wanted to make
sure that everyone's abreast of the situation and understands what's
going on. So we just had arbitration and can't say
it went well, although it turns out it wasn't real.
So it doesn't matter. We got weirdly attacked and Amy
Anne forgot that I'm the real Crystal, which is so frustrating.
But anyway, we can move on with positivity. She asked
me some stupid safe word. I don't even know, like
what when did we ever talk about that? I don't
I don't understand what a safe word has to do
with anything. But now she doesn't even realize that I'm
the original, which of course everybody here knows like it's
it is what it is. But yeah, we almost got
our stuff to taken and it was just a big mess.
So I just wanted to let you guys know that
this is still ongoing. We're still trying to figure out
there's some some people got away, which was whatever, but
my stuff didn't get away, and obviously we're still in business.
So moving on, keep wishing forward with all that positivity,
and I will talk to you guys later.
Speaker 4: And will that be all?
Speaker 2: Oh right, I lost some steam there. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4: Message scent okay.
Speaker 2: Usually I just stop talking and people get it.
Speaker 5: That's fine.
Speaker 1: Greetings, adventures. I am Alex Capps. You're DM or district manager,
and this is overworked and underplayed a D and D
podcast for young professionals. Buy Young Professionals. Today's ice breaker,
what do you miss most about the real world?
Speaker 5: What Up?
Speaker 4: It's your boy? Marcel Hardy playing Richard Cox, a human
consultant turned halfling bard who holy believes it's better to
be lucky than good, but it's best to be both.
And Richard's cop out answer is obviously sauce, but his
for real answer is gotta be two plai.
Speaker 7: Who Hello, My name is Anneline Hardy and I play
Taylor Jacobs, a centaur Barbarian with a heart of gold,
and the thing that she misses the most about the
real world is, of course her family and her friends,
but also her coworkers.
Speaker 2: Hi, everyone, my name's Katie, and I play Crystal the
draw Druid with her very own MLM Crystal Clarity. And
the thing she misses most about the real world is
the fact that she used to have an entire downline
and now she's working towards getting her downline, but she
misses her old downline. That and you know, just her
cell phone, like in.
Speaker 3: General, typical millennial attached to their cell phone.
Speaker 2: And maybe Chad, maybe, Hey, I'm Marjorie.
Speaker 6: I play Amy and Amanda, a basic, brough and tumble
human fighter with a freshly minted dentistry degree. She misses
her mom.
Speaker 1: Aw, Yeah, does she think about her every time she
looks at her arms?
Speaker 6: Every time? Yeah, she thinks about her even when she's
not looking at her arms.
Speaker 3: Hi, I am Tyler. I play the itic Palada known
as Bentley, and Bentley misses the food sushi, tacos, Jumbalaya, sauce, sauce, sauce. Hi.
Speaker 1: I'm your DM or District Manager Alex Capps. And what
I miss most about the real world is not a thing,
because if I miss something, I just put it into
this world.
Speaker 4: Hey, listeners, this show is made possible by the support
of our awesome patrons. In addition to a thank you
for their support, our patrons get an ad free listening
experience and access to exclusive bonus content. In the weeks
between episodes, our patrons are getting an extra show where
we recap episodes and talk about some of our favorite moments.
For more details about what you can get by support
arding us on Patreon, check us out at patreon dot
com slash own up pod.
Speaker 1: All right, So, when we last left off, you guys,
were in the middle of a gripping battle with the
avatar a Tsunam and his acolyte Crystal of the Church
of Clarity, and when as the last episode concluded, the
avatar had dissipated and Doctor d was standing behind him
holding the Crystal of our Ja. So that is where
we pick up.
Speaker 3: Okay, we all back in the world.
Speaker 6: Can you set us okay, can you remind us and
set the scene where?
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're in the arbitrator's office. Oh god, I
didn't make a note of where everybody was standing. Yeah,
Richard was was still passed out in dreamland right. Uh
see here, I believe Taylor was the closest. She was
in melee combat with the avatar Tsunam. She just trying,
all right. So we pick it up with Amy and
I want to have you make a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 3: Okay, you should burn a good omen and just thinking
about Taylor, so shaken off.
Speaker 6: I don't need to, it's a natural nineteen plus one twenty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that'll be enough. So you shake it off and
you realize that you are standing in front of Crystal
with us with your weapons out. Are your fists out?
Speaker 6: Which Crystal?
Speaker 1: Sorry you're standing in front of Crystal two point zero.
Speaker 6: Okay, Okay, Crystal Katie Okay.
Speaker 1: And she looks a little beat up.
Speaker 6: Okay, all right, So I'm gonna say I'm gonna kind
of let go of the guy was strangling. I'm just
gonna let him drop to the ground, I imagine, and
then I'll look at Crystal and say, oh man, okay, Crystal,
you said it was xylophone, right, yeah, yeah, huh okay,
that's yeah, yeah, all right, I'm going to churt. Okay,
So how far away am I from Doctor D?
Speaker 1: So you're going to be You're about thirty feet from
Doctor D because he's at the very back of the room.
Speaker 6: I'm going to use my entire movement to go over
to him, which is thirty feet, and I am going
to attempt to disarm him from the crystal of URJ.
Speaker 1: That's my intent, okay.
Speaker 6: And I want to use a good omen for whatever
it is I need to do.
Speaker 1: Let's sit here, we'll go ahead and burn one of
the good omens. So I want you to make me
a athletics check to basically leap over the table and
charge at him.
Speaker 6: Would it be? I mean, if it's I don't know
if I need to do. It's just my movement, right
or is there like an obstacle?
Speaker 1: So there there's well, there's all kinds of furniture in
the room. At what I'm getting at because there was
the big table and he's where he is. By the
time you weaved around everything, you wouldn't necessarily make it
in thirty feet of movement, if that makes sense.
Speaker 6: Okay, Okay, I got my suspicious eyes, but all right,
let's go. Okay, And it was a good omen you said, yeah,
will you roll that for me?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 6: Do I roll that?
Speaker 1: I got the Oh, yeah, you should be good. Okay,
So I rolled in nineteen.
Speaker 6: Okay, perfect, and then that's plus a.
Speaker 1: Lot, so it's yeah. So so you make it right
up to him, he says, can I help you?
Speaker 6: And I am going to try and just I'm going
to try to take the crystal the salt lamp out
of his hands and if I can kind of shove
him away from it, okay, So make a disarm him
of the crystal.
Speaker 1: So it will say, is make a grapple like make
a grapple attempt.
Speaker 7: So can Taylor scoop up the fanny pack and make
her way to help.
Speaker 1: So I will say that Taylor can scoop up the
Fannie pack for now, but we'll get to anything else
here in a second.
Speaker 6: Okay, and you said it was a grapple check. Yes,
so that's going to be a grapple check. So that's
just an attack, right, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: That's that's sorry, that's an attack.
Speaker 6: So that's going to be probably not enough. So twelve,
that is not enough.
Speaker 1: You go to grab it and he just kind of
moves his arm out of the way, and he's like
so short sighted. He turns, he goes, I believe that
all of us can need to take what you might
call a chill pill. There's no need for there's no
need for further conflict at this moment.
Speaker 6: Is there anything else I can.
Speaker 1: Do that's going to be about it?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 6: I do want to say to him, I said, I
don't need glasses. Okay, I haven't.
Speaker 1: He just you see as he blinks through his mask,
like very confused, he's like okay, yeah, he's like what
all right? So what we're going to do is we're
going to kind of come out of initiative order and
he's going to turn and he's going to look at
Crystal of the Church of Clarity is he looks like
he says, ah, miss ball, I see that you're up
to your old tricks again. And you see as her
form begins to change. She seems very, very flustered and
almost like her voice changes in everything, and she's like, no, no, no,
do not call me by that name. And he says,
what's Malia? And you see as he her disguise basically
entirely dissipates, and she says, this won't be the last
time you all see me, and she attempts to run away. Well, yeah,
I mean, are you all gonna she's she is trying
to leave the room.
Speaker 7: Okay, yeah, who can get to her?
Speaker 1: We're out of initiative order? So this is creativity time.
So you see that this person's form has turned almost
into like an amorphous humanoid, and they are attempting to
leave the room. What are you all going to do
or not do to try to stop them?
Speaker 3: Are we still in dream le.
Speaker 1: So the ones in dream world will be waking up
about now. So you're still a little groggy, but you know,
it's like you just woke up from a nap, So yeah.
Speaker 6: Go for it.
Speaker 8: Can so how close is she to me? Do we know?
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna yeah, I'm gonna say she's going to
be running past you.
Speaker 8: I want to trip her so bad.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sticking my foot out and I am like like,
I'm tripping this bitch.
Speaker 1: Okay, what's your dexterity modifier.
Speaker 5: Plus?
Speaker 1: Okay, So that's going to increase the difficulty of her
attempting to get out of to get past you.
Speaker 3: How many doors was there in this place? So no,
I was in front of one of the doorways.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're on the ground in front of the front door,
so she would have to go over you to get out.
But I don't think that's going to be a problem
because she rolled in that one and so so she
takes off running and Crystal holds out her foot and
she just eats it right into the floor.
Speaker 3: How big is this room?
Speaker 1: Don't ask me that question. What is the relevancy of
the room size?
Speaker 3: Uh? So, I just need to know with her as
well as doctor D or within thirty feet of me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that she is Doctor D is not
all right?
Speaker 3: How far away would he be?
Speaker 1: He's probably like forty to forty five feet based on
what I told Amy an earlier, let me do something
because she ate, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: So when I tripped her, I just want you guys
to know that I just casually stuck my foot.
Speaker 1: Out, Okay, so.
Speaker 4: Most embarrassingly possible.
Speaker 8: I wanted to make it look like I didn't trip her.
Speaker 1: So no, it's going to be very obvious because she
so I rolled damage because it's the stone floor and
she just knocked herself out. So you guys see, actually,
Crystal roll slide of hand to see if anybody or
stealth to see if anybody notices you sticking your foot out.
Speaker 6: Would be slight of foot, slight of foot.
Speaker 1: I'm going to allow you to use either slide of
hand or stealth.
Speaker 7: Okay, Marcel's lucky Katie was successful because my other idea
is to throw Richard at her.
Speaker 4: Amazing, this wakes up in the air?
Speaker 1: Is that the opposite? Sorry? Isn't that like the opposite
of the dream where you're falling? What'd you get, Crystal?
Speaker 8: So that's a ten plus six.
Speaker 1: Okay, So anybody who's paying attention can roll perception to
see if you notice Crystal stick her foot out, because
what's about to happen is going to be really funny,
well morbidly funny.
Speaker 6: God did I kill.
Speaker 3: All?
Speaker 1: Right? So you don't see Crystal stick her foot out?
What about Amy Ann? Are you? Are you paying attention
at all? Or are you focused?
Speaker 6: And I rolled a fourteen?
Speaker 1: Okay, so doctor D rolled in NAT twenty with his modifier.
He definitely saw you. He's like, I saw that. As
she runs past Crystal, she trips so hard that she
takes eighteen points of bludgeoning damage on the floor. And
you see is there's just there's just like a little
stream of blood coming from where her face is on
the floor. Oh, you don't know her body. She just
basically went full force into the ground. So you don't know.
You don't know what's going on under there. You just
know there's blood leaking from around her face. Yeah. Yeah,
she's face down in the ground, like ground came up quick.
She is out cold.
Speaker 9: So you gotta wash your feet, girl, you gotta like,
I don't know, I don't know what happened anybody, I guess, Yeah,
Like have you ever before ever?
Speaker 5: So I don't know.
Speaker 1: You see, as doctor D turns you, I saw that
that was a good one.
Speaker 8: I don't know what you're talking about, like she.
Speaker 1: Just tripped, and as he goes, okay, now that that's handled,
he looks at the remaining guard and he goes, you
can run along now, and the guy bolts out of
the room and I go.
Speaker 8: To kicker just a little bit, like I'm like walking
over to everybody else.
Speaker 1: So you do that. She fails one death saving throw.
Speaker 10: Oh no, sorry, but you do see there is.
Speaker 1: Consequences to your actions, Crystal, because you see, also on
the ground is your cell phone and now the screen
is cracked.
Speaker 2: Okay, but do I roll for not seeing it, because
I'm sure I would have seen it fall when she fell.
Speaker 8: If she's just sort.
Speaker 1: Of an animorphic, she just ate shit like you. You
saw her running, You tripped her, and she ate ship.
Speaker 8: Not when I kicked her.
Speaker 1: No, no, not when you kicked her. When she ate ship.
She dropped the phone. And your screen is now cracked.
Speaker 8: Well, at least I've picked I'm picking it up. It's
mine now. Yes, the screen is cracked, but that's their
worst things, honestly.
Speaker 1: No more talking to a to a rock. Yeah, you see.
As doctor D waves his hand and pulls some chairs
up to the table, he says I believe we have
some business to discuss.
Speaker 8: I think we're done here yet.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, So does Taylor have the binny pack?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 6: Okay, where's where's Richard?
Speaker 4: Richard is on the floor, just not waking up from
being past like I don't want to say poisoned, but
you know, being put to sleep. See okay, Oh man,
what the heck happened? These meanings have been boring, but geez.
Speaker 6: Good, one good one.
Speaker 1: He got He got magic rufeed.
Speaker 6: Like the non zero time that this has happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, stop roofing us.
Speaker 11: I feel like Richard is probably real sensitive dude, since
it's already happened before.
Speaker 4: He doesn't think get these.
Speaker 6: Yeah okay, so let's see very very quickly, let's do
a little mind meld on our So Amyen is going
to message Taylor. It's like, Taylor, should we get out
of here? You've got the thing we need to run, right?
What do you think?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 6: That feels good? Okay, all right, So I'm going to
try and push over doctor d Just push him over
and see if I can grab the because he's sitting.
Speaker 1: Now right well, he's pulled all the chairs to the table.
He hasn't sat down yet he is still standing and uh,
he kind of looks at you. Let's see, oh man,
his he is going to cast old person on Amyen.
I need you to make I believe it's another wisdom
save and I'm going to use one of the bad
omens to give you disadvantage.
Speaker 6: Poop. Neither of them are good. Thirteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you are frozen in place and he said,
I talk?
Speaker 6: Can I talk?
Speaker 1: You can still talk?
Speaker 6: Okay, all right.
Speaker 8: You have to talk like this.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 1: He just kind of looks like, he goes, why are
you doing that? You don't have you don't have to
talk like that. Like, but he says, everyone just calmed down.
I mean you no harm.
Speaker 6: Last time you tried to kill more than half of us.
Speaker 1: I did not try to kill any of you. If
I wanted to kill you, you would all be dead.
Speaker 6: I doubt that. Seriously.
Speaker 9: Not giving the like trust energy right now, like you're not,
can you please?
Speaker 1: He said? He says, okay, how about this. I have
no intentions of touching your fanny pack or taking the
astral projector.
Speaker 6: From you or any of the other things we have.
Speaker 1: No, I don't want anything from you. This one thing
is all I need the crystal. Yes. Why, I well,
if you will all sit down, I will try to
explain the best time.
Speaker 6: I literally can't now, he says.
Speaker 1: If I release you, will you sit down and at
least give me the five minutes I need to explain.
Speaker 6: I have no intention of hurting you.
Speaker 1: He says, Okay, well, standing it is now the rest
of you please take a seat.
Speaker 4: Is sitting down a prerequisite for having a conversation.
Speaker 1: It's not, but I feel it makes things a little
more casual.
Speaker 4: Cross past casual.
Speaker 8: Fine, I'm fine if this gets us out of here
sooner rather than later. I'm so sick of being in
this conference room. Fine, I will sit and hear you out.
Speaker 1: This is okay, good. You all know what these items
are for, correct? These items allow the great Or to
open up a gateway to your world and yours too.
Speaker 6: I guess he just.
Speaker 1: Kind of looks back. He goes, I have been trying
to keep that from happening, because there are forces in
this world that would be disastrous if they entered your world. Now,
I was under the assumption, because you were working for Bluegel,
that you're you were in the employ of one of
these forces that was trying to open this for the
purposes of evil to conquer that world. Says, I see
now that perhaps I was mistaken on my initial assumption.
You don't, he says, well, do you blame me? You
guys kind of leave a path of death and destruction
everywhere you go.
Speaker 8: Okay, so like, yeah, so do you? And also like,
is your real name deitarian or is it going to
be something like Mundane like Darryl from because like I'm
pretty sure people from our world are called Detarian.
Speaker 1: I'm not so even going to humor that anyways.
Speaker 8: I'm right, I'm right.
Speaker 6: It's it's awestin it's awesome.
Speaker 5: What could be?
Speaker 4: Did you say that out loud?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 4: And Richard's going to remember one of his cantrips. He's
going to cast made hand and try to take the
mask off to Terrian Scooby.
Speaker 1: Do so, so you try to do that, and you
see as he just kind of flicks his wrists and
counter spells it, and he.
Speaker 4: Goes, he's only got so many of those, can't Yeah,
he says, he's only got so many of that.
Speaker 1: This is unnecessary. And you see as he takes his
mask off and under it, Amy Ann recognizes the face
of her uncle.
Speaker 6: Wow, I didn't like you very much before, but now no,
I really need your ass.
Speaker 8: So, and what is your uncle's name? It surely it
can't be de Terian.
Speaker 6: Whoa, it's Adrian Austin Amanda.
Speaker 1: Yes, he says.
Speaker 6: Uh, Well wait a second. Why didn't you recognize me?
I've looked the same since I'm ten years old.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's.
Speaker 1: He says. He says, Well, you did look familiar upon
our first meeting, but I wasn't sure until I saw
the friendship bracelet. He says, But I was confused as
to why you were here and why you were working
for the forces of evil. Then I remembered your father
was kind of a dick.
Speaker 6: So whoa unacceptable?
Speaker 1: Now we've officially.
Speaker 6: Crossed over into an unsafe work environment.
Speaker 1: He looks right at Taylor Jacobs. He goes, that's where
you draw the line, not almost crushing your coworker's skull
in your hands.
Speaker 7: There's no reason to crush her spirit.
Speaker 1: Crush skulls, not spirits. Got it?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 6: What a T shirt?
Speaker 5: That that?
Speaker 1: He says, Now, no need to take this offline. Overworked
and underplayed will circle back after these messages. I would
very much like to return to our world, but I
would need your help to do so. Now, do you
want to work together or do you want to continue
this little back and forth we've been having so far.
Speaker 6: Is there any way that we could do anything as
players to determine his actual intentions?
Speaker 1: I mean you could, you could make insight check or
if any of you have spells that might determine a
character's alignment or will or anything like that.
Speaker 7: Okay, so Taylor's gonna be like, is there any way
we can really understand your intentions?
Speaker 6: Or is this gonna have to be some kind.
Speaker 7: Of blood pack situation where we guarantee it that you
don't hurt us?
Speaker 3: I have an idea. Bentley walks to the center of
the room and casts the Zone of Truth.
Speaker 1: Ooh okay, so.
Speaker 4: What kind of save do we have to make?
Speaker 3: So you create a magical zone that guards against deception
and a fifteen foot sphere radius center and a point
of your choice within range until the spell ends. The
creatures they enter the spell area for the first time
on a turn or start to turn there must make
a charisma saving through If they'ld save, a creature can't
speak deliberate lie while in the radius and I know
whether it's each creature succeeds or fails.
Speaker 1: Okay, can you what is your spell?
Speaker 8: Save?
Speaker 3: That spell?
Speaker 1: Says fourteen okay.
Speaker 3: And it's not gonna get all the way, It's just
gonna get him. It's only a fifteen foot radio, let's see.
So unless anyone's closer to him than fifteen feet than.
Speaker 6: Amy definitely is. And she's not even going to try to.
Speaker 1: He says. He looks right at Bentley's like right in
the eyes, and he says, I know what you're trying
to do. And he says, as a show of good faith,
you see as he puts up no resistance to the
zone of truth.
Speaker 3: Cool, so I know that it passed. That he passed.
All right. Well he can't lie, so there you go.
Oh Amyen can't either, So ask her anything you might
want to do.
Speaker 6: Amien, do have a crush on me?
Speaker 1: He's just out of nowhere.
Speaker 6: That well, absolutely, Taylor, I thought that was obvious.
Speaker 3: I don't think this is what has been for.
Speaker 1: You see his Adrian turns, he goes, I feel very
uncomfortable right now, and that is no lie.
Speaker 8: Emotions not scary.
Speaker 1: Well, you got to remember how long he's been here.
Emotions were still scary for men back then. So also
he's not sure how to process that whole thing that
just happened because he's been here since the nineties. Not
that there's a problem with that.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, it's always have friends.
Speaker 8: It's they're fine, it's fine.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: It was this great comedian. I don't know if you've
heard of.
Speaker 1: Her name is Ellen, he says, Yeah, it's like my
favorite football player, mister Simpson. He's fantas.
Speaker 6: Oh he's a murderer.
Speaker 1: He really killed it on the field.
Speaker 3: Yes, like Bill Cosby too.
Speaker 1: Oh god, he probably doesn't. Oh, he definitely still liked Cosby.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He also doesn't understand the World Wide Web thing. He
doesn't understand any of the references. So all that happens,
he says, Okay, so back to the matter of at hand.
How can I assure you all that I'm not trying
to kill you.
Speaker 3: I mean, you can't lie right now, So.
Speaker 7: How about you help us come up with a plan
so that if like you ever did cross us, you
would die.
Speaker 1: Why would I do that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a curse deal.
Speaker 1: You guys all kind of seem like you're trying to
kill me at this point.
Speaker 6: No, because.
Speaker 1: I just I just want to be very clear. I
could have killed you all around the campfire while you
were sleeping if I wanted you dead. Could I have? Not?
Speaker 6: Probably not.
Speaker 8: Why are you such a lurker?
Speaker 1: I'm talking about when I helped rescue you from the cultists?
Speaker 8: I mean an answer, Why are you such a lurker?
Answer me?
Speaker 1: Because my only solace in this world is making sure
that these items do not fall into the wrong hands,
or at least multiples of them don't fall into the
wrong hands.
Speaker 2: Are you sure that the solace you're taking is just
by like vicariously living through us, because it's feeling like
that right now.
Speaker 7: Is this some kind of middle life midlife crisis?
Speaker 1: It is not a mid life crisis.
Speaker 6: You bring up a good point, Crystal me.
Speaker 2: He has to be telling the truth right that it's
not a mid life crisis, But like.
Speaker 8: Is it an end of life crisis? Like you're kind
of old?
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not that old.
Speaker 8: You've been here since the nineties.
Speaker 1: It has been a while you does he look like
he's aged? Years are meaningless to a seeker. We draw
our power from a higher source.
Speaker 8: Okay, that's a good question. What the fuck is that?
Speaker 1: I am a patron of a higher power from the
Fay kingdoms, and they have imbued me with certain abilities
that prolonged my existence longer than the natural way.
Speaker 8: How come you get to look kind of normal and
the rest of us get this?
Speaker 1: I have no clue there. I don't even know how
you all got here. Because you get here well, you
probably were too young to remember this. But when my father,
your grandfather, named his younger son as the inheritor of
the practice, I turned to some probably less than optimal
sources of trying to find my way in life and
began studying the occult, And next thing I know, portal
opened up and I ended up here.
Speaker 3: So you became a scientologist?
Speaker 1: What's scientology?
Speaker 8: He's been around since the nineties?
Speaker 1: The yeah, but it hadn't made it to where's amyan
from Atlanta? It hadn't made it to Atlanta yet? Is this?
I began studying the occult and a portal opened up,
and I ended up here with a few other people.
And they are not important. They are no longer, they
are no longer with us. Did you kill No, they
died fighting the great evils a.
Speaker 6: Hot Did you let them die?
Speaker 1: Well, what do you what do you mean let them die?
I didn't want them to die.
Speaker 6: Do you feel somehow responsible or guilty for their debts?
Speaker 1: Well, considering I survived and many of them didn't, yes,
I feel very guilty about that.
Speaker 8: You mean all all didn't you left everyone else to die?
Speaker 1: I did not leave everyone else to die. One of these,
one of our already survived and passed away years later.
They were tired of protecting the items.
Speaker 12: So if you decided to stop protecting the items, then
you start.
Speaker 1: Aging something like that.
Speaker 8: Interesting.
Speaker 1: Yes, apparently monotony was not the sort of thing, but
I studied dentistry. Monotony is my wheelhouse.
Speaker 8: They were going to say monogamy.
Speaker 1: Honestly, you don't know about Dennis if you think monogamy
is in their wheelhouse.
Speaker 6: Did you know that Jason became a lobbyist for the
show industry?
Speaker 1: Did he seriously follow through on that stupid plan?
Speaker 6: You sure did. Look at what you did because you
weren't here to be a good example.
Speaker 1: Well, I tried to get back, but it's really not
very hard. You have no idea how hard I've tried
to return home.
Speaker 4: Well, considering we've been here for about three weeks now
or however long it's been, and we've identified and located
at least two of the five items. And you've been
here since the nineties. I don't think you've been trying
that hard, world, Spentley. You're on our team.
Speaker 1: He's just using the items requires more than one person's effort,
which is why I need your help, because you five. Wait,
where's the other one? I thought there was six of you.
Speaker 4: There are six of us.
Speaker 1: You see as he starts like counting with his fingers
and he goes, I only count.
Speaker 4: And then Richard counts and he counts to six. He's
about the guess.
Speaker 1: He's gonna roll insight, then you roll deception. We'll see
how this goes. Oh Jesus Christ, seventeen plus eight. He
just looks and he goes, has has math changed since
I came here?
Speaker 4: It's like, I think we're gonna a little bit off
topic here, but there's.
Speaker 8: Definitely don't start at zero anymore. You start it one.
Speaker 1: Oh Lord, I have so much to learn when I
get home. Anyways, I need your help because you are
the only people in this entire wretched world that I
know are not trying to commit evil and won't leave
the portal open for some of this world's evil to
infiltrate our world and vice versa. Could you imagine what
some of the corporations of our world would do to
this place with its lax tax codes and completely absent
human rights.
Speaker 7: Yeah, they would get obliterated.
Speaker 1: Maybe we don't open the portal, But then how will
you return home?
Speaker 4: You know, YadA YadA, greater good and all that.
Speaker 1: He just has a very he just has a very
sad look on his face, like like the weight of
hundreds of years piling on his shoulders.
Speaker 8: Is the other Crystal still in the ground.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's there's a larger pool of blood around her face.
Now yeah, I mean no one's checked on her, Like
nobody did.
Speaker 3: I didn't even turn around check if she's still alive
because he noticed the blood like sporting and like.
Speaker 1: Got okay, So when you check on her, she is stable.
Speaker 3: Oh she stabilized.
Speaker 1: Yeah, year old, three successful death saving throws after Crystal
made her fail.
Speaker 8: One take a picture of her. I'm going to take
a picture.
Speaker 1: That's morbid, but okay, no.
Speaker 8: I just want to prove to people like I got
a plan. I got a plan.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you take a picture of her.
Speaker 8: That was plan.
Speaker 1: Okay. I was kind of worried about where this was going.
Speaker 6: We like cut off her head and burner or something.
Speaker 1: Wait wait wow, Like you see as Adrian turns and
he's like, Jesus, why what is wrong with you?
Speaker 8: There's something wrong with her. I like that plan.
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't know what kind of creature she is.
And we've run in some weird stuff that we've had
to do some weird stuff too.
Speaker 1: And she's a shape shifter.
Speaker 6: How do you kill one?
Speaker 1: He looks, and he goes, what looks like it looks
like you're pretty good at it, even for not knowing
how to do it.
Speaker 6: She just spell down and relax.
Speaker 1: You see, is he He looks like he's contemplating, like
whether you guys are the ones to help him or not.
Speaker 6: Okay, will you unhold me please? At least I'm not
gonna punch you or anything.
Speaker 1: He had released you like minutes ago. Yeah, but you
were just kind of standing there. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.
Speaker 6: You know, it really devastated my dad when you went missing.
I know that last conversation you had really that falling out.
He regretted it.
Speaker 1: I I now that.
Speaker 6: He's passed away, I don't know that it's just sad.
Speaker 1: Wait, he passed when.
Speaker 6: Not long after you. I'm missing.
Speaker 1: You. See is like a single tear starts rolling down
his face.
Speaker 6: But anyways, so now that we're here, let's see what what.
Speaker 8: That's a big girl, Amien. We just passed trauma.
Speaker 4: That's right, she's been to her therapy. She's already grieved.
Speaker 6: Oh man, Okay, what do you guys want to do
in our bracelets?
Speaker 7: I still think we should have some kind of assurance because.
Speaker 3: I mean, he hasn't been able to lie, so unless
he has some way around the spell?
Speaker 4: Yah?
Speaker 6: Can I also from seeing the tear? Can I can
I assess the quality of the tear? Is it a
crocodile tear?
Speaker 1: Or I mean roll for insight?
Speaker 6: Okay? I feel like since he's my blood relative and
I know him, is there any any anything I can
get extra.
Speaker 3: Truth?
Speaker 8: Can you? Is faking a tear cry like life?
Speaker 1: I mean I believe it would be.
Speaker 8: But would it be?
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm I'm just.
Speaker 1: Gonna say he seems pretty. He seems pretty upset.
Speaker 12: Alex over here trying to help us by giving us
a guy that will answer all the questions.
Speaker 8: And we're here to be districted.
Speaker 1: I put you, I put a character you thought was
a big bad in a zone of truth willingly. And
the first question is, hey, Amy, do you have a
crush on me?
Speaker 4: Soon? He shot, I know these.
Speaker 8: Are things you need to know.
Speaker 6: My god, it's twelve.
Speaker 1: So yes, he seems very.
Speaker 6: Sincere trust them. Okay, what are you gonna say, Taylor,
She's just.
Speaker 7: Gonna ask him if we were in a situation where
you had to choose between you going through and us dying,
would you choose to go through?
Speaker 1: He said, I have no desire to see anyone else
from our world die in this one.
Speaker 6: He answered that real sus.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he says, MY goal is to get as many
of us home as possible, whatever that means.
Speaker 6: And when you say us, what does that mean?
Speaker 1: The seven of us?
Speaker 6: Amy answers Alex.
Speaker 1: Adrian is a very good listener.
Speaker 4: So, Adrian, you know how many of the items are,
their names are, and approximately where they're located.
Speaker 1: I have a vague idea each of the Yes, there
was a group that was aiding the seekers that hid
each of the items. We now several of them have
been found, and I have been systematically working my way
through trying to get them back into safe hands, says
I do believe that the astral projector is in very
capable and safe hands now. Thus I have no intentions
of ever trying to get it from you. The crystal
levarge was in possession of the cult and the other items.
As you know, you've acquired the Luxemile sole as well
as the astral projector, but there is also the Fay mirror,
the planar lens, and the thumb drive.
Speaker 3: Can you just use the names of what we would
call them in our world? That well, that's what a
projector is in the nineties.
Speaker 1: These are the items. That's their names. Yes, amy An,
you had a question.
Speaker 6: Have you had anybody else help you do this before?
Speaker 1: Do what before we're trying to do now? No, because
there was no one I thought I could trust in
this world. You may not be aware of it now,
but I think you are. Is that not everything in
this world is as it seems at first glance.
Speaker 6: Which is really confounding. It's a great word. Thank you,
Taylor Winks.
Speaker 7: Sure, well, if you guys feel okay, I mean, what.
Speaker 1: Would the next steps be, Oh, we have to locate
the other items. I'm currently trying to use my divination
skills to find where they are. I have some insight
on the fay mirror. My patron is trying to help
me seek it out. Either the planar lens or the
thumb drive would be the next ones that you should
probably try to find.
Speaker 4: He says.
Speaker 1: Now, of all the people in this world that I
have dug into their background, there is one who I
believe is trustworthy, and that would be Fizzlebang. I do
not believe he has a malicious bone in his body.
Speaker 3: He's a bit of a drug addict, Yeah he is.
Speaker 1: He is a little bit strung out, yes, but there
are people trying to get him, and so I would
be very careful about his staying and hiding. He seems
to be the only one who knows anything valuable outside
of this room about this stuff.
Speaker 7: Could we put him in the fanny pack?
Speaker 1: I don't believe that would be a good idea.
Speaker 3: Considering he would smother to death.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's like no air, isn't it like every fifteen minutes?
It's like, oh yeah, we could just take him out
every ten minutes and it should be fine.
Speaker 1: Right, Oh yeah, you guys will never forget about that.
Speaker 5: Never.
Speaker 6: Why don't we just like start having him tag along
with us?
Speaker 1: No, it's funny you mentioned that because I did see
a diagram someone drew one time of a bag of
holding with like a straw hanging out of it, but
like a little.
Speaker 8: Tiny home inside the bag of holding. Yeah, a little chimney.
Speaker 1: Just keep him in the Toyota Tacoma.
Speaker 3: There you go?
Speaker 1: Is Do you have any other questions for me? Shall
we conclude our business? I keep your head on a swivel,
don't pee into the wind, and don't wear white after
labor day?
Speaker 8: Oh so there's a labor day here too.
Speaker 1: Every every day is labor day.
Speaker 8: Every day is.
Speaker 6: Sorry, Crystal, I cut you off. What were you going
to say?
Speaker 8: I don't know what should we do with this thing
on the ground?
Speaker 3: This?
Speaker 8: Uh burn it? Jesus, I'm kind of before that. Maybe
we could put her in the bag of hole days
and just see what happens.
Speaker 4: I don't know, well, not in this one, which just like.
Speaker 1: I don't want blood on my sweet fanny pack, Like,
do you know I actually.
Speaker 3: Want to kill her? Do you want to take her
to jail or.
Speaker 6: I vote we should chop off our head, burn her body,
and take her head back to the King Protector, whatever
his name is.
Speaker 8: We are on a.
Speaker 11: Mission, but I feel like they would be very confused
if she couldn't say what she is, because she.
Speaker 8: Doesn't exactly look like Crystal anymore or me. She doesn't
like me anymore.
Speaker 6: Oh, I guess, so, I guess.
Speaker 7: Is there anything we can do to keep her asleep
so that she can't transform back until we're back with
the Lord Protector.
Speaker 3: We could just not heal her. Yeah, what's she going
to do with one?
Speaker 7: H Adrian? Do you have any sleepy sleep?
Speaker 1: Nothing? I feel comfortable leaving you lot with if you're
talking about decapitating this poor wretched creature and burning its body.
Speaker 4: Is she you seem to be actually quite familiar with her.
Speaker 1: Yes, her name Malia Malia Ball.
Speaker 3: I thought it was Crystal Ball.
Speaker 6: I don't get it.
Speaker 8: I don't get it either.
Speaker 6: How do you know her?
Speaker 1: She has been a known impersonator in the realm for
some time.
Speaker 9: Oh, so, like, maybe if we just took her back,
then the guy would the Lord Protector guy would like,
oh yeah, that makes sense when he just like, if
we told him, yeah.
Speaker 1: She would probably be jailed.
Speaker 11: I think I feel like we've been to prison and
I think it wasn't a great place. So I think
I think we foreling.
Speaker 6: But Crystal, he gave us a license to kill.
Speaker 3: That's it's a license to kill, not a you have
to kill.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're just gonna be Paladin.
Speaker 6: You're just like you go get your driver's license. You're
not just not gonna drive a car. You go get
your gun license. You're not just gonna go and do
gun stuff, right, you gotta get you gotta do something
once you get a license.
Speaker 3: But you killed the genie. Isn't that enough?
Speaker 8: All Amyenn needed to be a violent serial killer.
Speaker 1: Is permission, legal authority.
Speaker 3: She is.
Speaker 1: Amy has identified herself as as lawful evil, ethics, or
whatever is permissible by law.
Speaker 3: Not only teeth collection.
Speaker 6: I don't have a teeth collection.
Speaker 3: A competition the most teeth.
Speaker 6: Well, that was just that was part of school.
Speaker 3: Though.
Speaker 6: They make you do a lot of weird stuff.
Speaker 1: You see his Adrian terns, he goes I went to
the same school she did. They never made us do that.
Speaker 6: Really, Wow, times have certainly changed then, I guess.
Speaker 7: Oh my god, what if we found out that Amy
and was one of those people that's just said they.
Speaker 6: Went to school.
Speaker 4: She was on campus, but she didn't actually was registered.
Speaker 6: She barely.
Speaker 1: She barely They accidentally like it was a typo, but
they put her name on a degree. And she goes, oh,
I guess I'm done here.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, she is qualified.
Speaker 8: I think we tire her up and we do not
let her out of our sight. And if if she struggles,
we didn't kill her. Sounds pretty sure.
Speaker 3: Well you already almost killed her. If my medical knowledge
is anything by.
Speaker 8: Chance, we accidentally kill her, who's gonna really.
Speaker 3: Be It seems pretty intentional to me.
Speaker 8: I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't trip her.
Speaker 1: Adrian goes, you absolutely did trip her. I saw everything.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and he's proven that we can trust.
Speaker 1: You in this instance. You you absolutely can trust me.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: Anyway, executive decision. Bentley ties her up. I pulls out
some of his rope, ties her up, and like just
carries her, carries the thing on his back and like,
all right, let's go take her back and get paid
for our job. Well, actually, I don't think we were
getting paid, but we're getting now.
Speaker 4: We got pre paid with our cool items and I
get out of Joel free card, which.
Speaker 8: Apparently we just didn't end abusing because somebody, I.
Speaker 1: Mean you see, as Adrian turns and he says, yes,
I think it is very a very good idea for
you to turn her in and end this whole saga.
And now, Crystal, perhaps people can refer to you no
longer as Crystal two point zero. Now you are Crystal.
You've proven your identity.
Speaker 8: I like it.
Speaker 12: It would be really nice to not have to deal
with the ship anymore.
Speaker 4: A gratitude today keeps the haters away, and that's why
we want to think. Thank you for listening to Overworked
and Underplayed. You just heard Alex Capps as our DM
Anlin Hardy as Taylor Jacobs, Katie is Crystal two point zero,
Marjorie as Amy An, Marcel Hardy as Richard Cox, and
Tyler is Bentley. Episodes are edited by Marcel and circle
Back episodes are edited by Katie. We hope you enjoyed it,
and we'll circle back in two weeks on October third
for the next episode. You can help us to get
the word out by rating, reviewing, and subscribing wherever you
listen to podcasts. You can also follow us on social
at own up pod, That's own uppo d, subreddit, r
slash own up.
Speaker 1: Hey, but at least you have your favorite IT guy
with you.
Speaker 6: That's true, Jimmy Left