Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike, Benny and Rome
Speaker 1: and dominic Berry.
Speaker 2: But I'll slapped by six hour seven dwarfs not happy.
Speaker 2: Oh hello, and welcome to Chewing the Cut, your lighthearted
Speaker 2: weekly look at a very rainbow coalidoscope. This week I'm
Speaker 2: joined by dominic Berry.
Speaker 1: Hello, dominic Hello, it's lovely to be here.
Speaker 3: Good to have you back.
Speaker 1: No, it's always a joy to be here, absolute joy.
Speaker 1: I'm here to bring you a story about new BBC
Speaker 1: show Mike. And then are you ready to play a
Speaker 1: game that's sounded like out of a horror film?
Speaker 2: Niceco well crying like anyway, that's before we can get
Speaker 2: done to regale us with some poems in spotlight. But
Speaker 2: on screen now you can see how contact details it's
Speaker 2: at the coud TV on social media, and if you
Speaker 2: want to catch up with previous episodes, you can always
Speaker 2: binge us on YouTube just look for Chewing the Cud
Speaker 2: and on podcast services too.
Speaker 1: Definitely, and you can see the names of people who've
Speaker 1: reached out and touched our souls going along the bottom
Speaker 1: of the screen. And now it's time to get up
Speaker 1: to date on the things you might have missed from
Speaker 1: the news in the buzz.
Speaker 3: Do you mind me asking your age?
Speaker 1: I'm very happy to say my age. I'm coming up
Speaker 1: for forty five.
Speaker 3: Forty five?
Speaker 2: What congratulations? You don't look at day over fifty. Story
Speaker 2: about a man who has been found in a cave.
Speaker 2: He's one hundred and eighty eight years old apparently, okay, okay,
Speaker 2: and he's from India, okay, and he's been found in
Speaker 2: a cave, and people say, on his own, on his own,
Speaker 2: he's saying it's one hundred and eighty eight. People going,
Speaker 2: are we sure, because I mean it looks one hundred
Speaker 2: and eighty eight When a nice little modesty flap on it,
Speaker 2: people aren't sure, saying yes, he's definitely.
Speaker 1: So he's on his own. He's the one saying he's
Speaker 1: one hundred and eighty eight. If you've been in the
Speaker 1: cave for more than a week, maybe you might lose count.
Speaker 2: Well, you don't know how roughly how old it was.
Speaker 2: If he's saying how when he was born? Oh okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's not the same detective, it's detective Mike.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So people go, well, it could be, but it's unlikely
Speaker 2: to be because that would make him the world's oldest man
Speaker 2: by a good fifty years.
Speaker 1: I think that you said this is from India, right
Speaker 1: where they are famed for their not in all parts
Speaker 1: of India, but meat free diet. A lot of I
Speaker 1: do speak quite a lot about me being vegan. I
Speaker 1: think you're a vegan. I think I did not know.
Speaker 1: I do. I do like I think I'm probably going
Speaker 1: to make one hundred and eighty nine, nine hundred and
Speaker 1: ninety on my vegan diet. I think so, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think I relate to this. Yeah, okay, I don't think
Speaker 1: you will wow, break it to me gently, Mike, And
Speaker 1: what do you want to Well, he looks all right,
Speaker 1: Well actually, yeah, yeah, I think yeah, I just one.
Speaker 3: Hundred and eighty eight though that's a long time to live.
Speaker 1: I'd like a beard like that. That would be. That
Speaker 1: would be.
Speaker 3: I think you can get one of those quite quickly.
Speaker 1: No, No, i'd like your beard, Mike. Mine's all like
Speaker 1: patchy and stuck, not really ginger.
Speaker 3: It's a lie, how lovely.
Speaker 2: I perfectly don't need running water, but sometimes you probably
Speaker 2: should have it. Moving on, have you ever found something
Speaker 2: and gone, oh, I like that?
Speaker 1: Oh all the time, I've got that proper like magpie mentality,
Speaker 1: like shiny thing, shiny thing, and then like obsessed with it,
Speaker 1: Like what was the last thing you got obsessed with?
Speaker 1: Ooh the last thing I got obsessed person's bottom. Wow,
Speaker 1: it's like we're going to go out. If I'm ruling
Speaker 1: out men's bottoms, then probably like one of them. I'm
Speaker 1: a big I'm a big gamer g A Y M
Speaker 1: E R. And I'm not someone whill just like casually plays.
Speaker 1: That's got Wikipedia find out all the law and you
Speaker 1: know what year was it released all of that? So yeah,
Speaker 1: what what what are you speaking of? That's caught your eye?
Speaker 2: Well, it's not what's caught my eye, it's what's caught
Speaker 2: you know, as people are going in house clearances and
Speaker 2: just they will take that that and then they sell
Speaker 2: it on. Well, someone found a painting in a celler
Speaker 2: right in a cheap, nasty frame, and it said to
Speaker 2: the woman do you mind me having that? And sure,
Speaker 2: oh no, take it. It's foul, it's awful, it's going great,
Speaker 2: thanks very much. Turned out to be a Plicasso, right,
Speaker 2: So basically the experts goes, no, it's generally in a
Speaker 2: original Picasso that's been hung in this basement. Four years,
Speaker 2: decades and the whole family hate it's right, like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's ugly, it's awful.
Speaker 1: So I heard a similar story. I don't remember all
Speaker 1: the details, but someone who had just been taping television
Speaker 1: on vhs for like years and years had a collection
Speaker 1: like proper collector made a little.
Speaker 3: Bit like our backdrop. This is the gallery.
Speaker 1: Okay, you what's in Dean's lock up?
Speaker 2: It tells you this sort of stuff and is special
Speaker 2: forever friend, and we don't want to know what that is.
Speaker 1: But in the name of like finding new interests, I
Speaker 1: was like looking up the history of horror movies in general.
Speaker 1: I was looking at what was the first horror movie?
Speaker 1: And a copy of I think one of the first
Speaker 1: we're talking silent movies. It's like seven minutes long, and
Speaker 1: it had thought it had been lost to history, and
Speaker 1: someone had found it in a similar story to this,
Speaker 1: But the difference between this painting and that is that
Speaker 1: they'd watched all these vhss and it's how much stuff
Speaker 1: must get lost, like treasures like this is a really
Speaker 1: significant part of cinematic history, and it's been found And
Speaker 1: I watched it on YouTube and it's dead good. It's
Speaker 1: very camp. I don't think it's meant to be a
Speaker 1: man is about by going a lot?
Speaker 3: Scary was back then in camp?
Speaker 1: How much stuff must just like go missing forever?
Speaker 2: Well, this painting is worth millions and this person just
Speaker 2: gave it to the junk seller. Yeah take it.
Speaker 3: I hate it so yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, be careful what you give away.
Speaker 3: That's a big thing there. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And if you have a famous painting, you want to
Speaker 2: give to me TV on social media and that brings
Speaker 2: us nice to us. Story of the week. Now, what's
Speaker 2: your personal stance on hallucinogenic substances.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, Mike, I am a person who is teetotal.
Speaker 1: I have been for over a death, so I'm not
Speaker 1: just vegan, but like no alcohol. No, I do have
Speaker 1: coffee and men's bottoms and my two vices. That's it.
Speaker 3: That's just men's bottoms.
Speaker 1: Yeah, leave the rest of them.
Speaker 3: You have an old flesh like you'd like to do anything.
Speaker 1: What hallucinogenic marvels have entered the news this week.
Speaker 2: This is a story about an Austrian man right who
Speaker 2: decided to do some shrooms are being trialed a lot
Speaker 2: to combat things like ADHD and PTSD. Right, just in
Speaker 2: small quantities, right, but this mon went I've heard about
Speaker 2: that research. Let me go and do a shed ton
Speaker 2: of them. And so while office face on mushrooms, decided,
Speaker 2: do you know what I'm going to do. I'm going
Speaker 2: to take an act and chop off my penis, And
Speaker 2: so I did.
Speaker 1: I thought that was a phone of his penis. There
Speaker 1: it is, there's his balls.
Speaker 3: Literally got a mushroom here. No, no, there's rooms.
Speaker 2: I've not got a picture of his penis because he
Speaker 2: didn't just chop it off. He then used an act
Speaker 2: to chop it off, and then continued to chop it
Speaker 2: to pieces and popped it in a jar with some
Speaker 2: dirty snow and soil, because that's what he thought he
Speaker 2: should do.
Speaker 1: Well, that's not a good advert for shres.
Speaker 3: No, that's not good drugs people.
Speaker 1: This isn't this.
Speaker 2: This is a reenactment, okay, because really normally have their
Speaker 2: name and that sort of thing.
Speaker 3: We don't have his name. Nowhere has reported his name.
Speaker 1: He's still got a bottom, though it's harder to chop
Speaker 1: off one's bottom.
Speaker 3: If you might have had a go, we don't know.
Speaker 2: But he was only found that that happened because he
Speaker 2: was wandering with said pieces of penis in the jar
Speaker 2: right bleeding out.
Speaker 1: There's a real horror theme to today's show, Like when
Speaker 1: I said you want to play game and it sounded
Speaker 1: like sore, Like we're just.
Speaker 3: Single shopping off another man's pen.
Speaker 1: I'm a child. When I was young, I was scared
Speaker 1: of quickly finished that sentence. Sorry. Sorry. When I was young,
Speaker 1: I like to chop off people's readers. I was terrified of,
Speaker 1: Like I remember being so scared of the Hollywood movie
Speaker 1: Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, like the most like delicate,
Speaker 1: you know, I know, I know, just because there's like
Speaker 1: arrows in it, and you do see Kevin Costner's bottom
Speaker 1: in that. You do see it. And I was like,
Speaker 1: how can something with such a beautiful bottom feature such violence?
Speaker 1: I was really angry. I was an idiotic child. I
Speaker 1: remember being in the supermarket and a poster was up.
Speaker 1: It made you angry, maybe agree, but not exactly. In
Speaker 1: the supermarket there was a poster up for hell Raiser
Speaker 1: with pin head on. I remember, I cringe, you, this
Speaker 1: is true, it's the true story. I grew member say
Speaker 1: really loudly to my mother, I, as a child should
Speaker 1: not have to look at an image like that mom
Speaker 1: in the middle of the supermarket. What what a thing
Speaker 1: for a child to choose to do.
Speaker 3: I mean, I used to do evil things to my parents.
Speaker 3: Didn't do that.
Speaker 2: So the famous story of my family is I was
Speaker 2: playing up in the supermarket on Saturday shop and one
Speaker 2: basically did what all parents will you behave?
Speaker 3: I fell to the floor cry, I'm sorry, please don't
Speaker 3: hit me and get.
Speaker 1: Mom that's calculated.
Speaker 3: Yeah, She's like, it's like, what do I do at
Speaker 3: that point?
Speaker 2: I can't like shout at you because it looks like
Speaker 2: I want to wit you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's all.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Mike, And what what a deep insight into
Speaker 1: our two very different childhoods. Me as a as a
Speaker 1: political activist for the completely unimportant and you as a
Speaker 1: as a as a quite manipulative, psychopathistic psychopath.
Speaker 2: And it's a skill that I've brought into my very adulthood.
Speaker 2: You're welcome, Dominic. Stay right there, because coming after this
Speaker 2: short break, we get up to date with the celebrity
Speaker 2: news with Dominic in the shelbies. Oh, welcome back, and
Speaker 2: you're watching Chew in the cud. This is the part
Speaker 2: of the show where we take a look into the
Speaker 2: sparkly side of the world of Celebrity Celebrity by Sean
Speaker 2: Connery in Shelby's with Dominic.
Speaker 1: Well, Mike, because someone in the performing arts world, myself,
Speaker 1: I'm always interested in people with a Shakespearean background. Of course,
Speaker 1: you know, we've lost Maggie Smith, an actress who has
Speaker 1: a huge legacy of art and talent from a specific
Speaker 1: traditional background. And Maggie Smith was honored, was honored someone
Speaker 1: with artistry from a very different background, the drag queen
Speaker 1: Bend de la creme.
Speaker 3: Ah, Yes, she did when she did Snatch Game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is which, Mike, which is which? I don't know. Great,
Speaker 1: It's great, isn't it. It's a great likeness of and
Speaker 1: you know, Maggie Smith before she passed, went on record,
Speaker 1: you know, celebrating saying that she liked this amazing representation
Speaker 1: of her through the world of drag, which is good
Speaker 1: because the traditional background of arts. It's not a given
Speaker 1: that they all like the LGBTQ community, I know.
Speaker 2: But Maggie Smith definitely did. She's really good friends with
Speaker 2: Ian McKellen.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know that, you know that.
Speaker 2: No, Ernie McCown a lot of stories, so Ian McKellen
Speaker 2: did a skit on Saturday Night Live a while ago
Speaker 2: of being Maggie Smith right and just flirting. And I
Speaker 2: took that old queen and McKellen out and the really
Speaker 2: close friends and you know, what's what's your favorite Maggie
Speaker 2: Smith film? Oh?
Speaker 1: She was in Sister Act, wasn't she was it the
Speaker 1: first one? She was the well the superior of course,
Speaker 1: of course.
Speaker 3: Boogie woogie on the piano. That was a really bad
Speaker 3: Maggie Smith.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite Maggie Smith moment? I'll expand the question,
Speaker 1: not just film.
Speaker 2: All right, okay, So because film, it would be Lady
Speaker 2: in the Van, Okay, that was a beautifully done piece
Speaker 2: of piece of film. It was Anna Bennett, which who
Speaker 2: I love as a writer anyway, but her acting and
Speaker 2: that was blang coach, I know. I also like Willie's
Speaker 2: Let's Bring It Back and Dominic like his bottoms.
Speaker 1: There we go.
Speaker 2: This is all all back on screen now it hapends
Speaker 2: with covered in Martella back there for a moment.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't leave it there.
Speaker 2: My favorite mag it's actually there's a TV like the
Speaker 2: documentary a while ago with her and Judy Dench and
Speaker 2: we're talking about you know, getting older and still acting
Speaker 2: and still working things, and she goes, oh, no.
Speaker 3: It's great. We'll just get all this stuff that Judy
Speaker 3: doesn't do.
Speaker 2: And it's just seeing her just be completely natural and
Speaker 2: talk about her life and her career right, and then
Speaker 2: just joking about the fact that going, you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm not as well known as her, but I still
Speaker 2: get her cast off so it's okay, And just the
Speaker 2: great friendship she had with people.
Speaker 1: That is lovely. My least favorite Chris Hemsworth moment is
Speaker 1: finding out that in the movie four Love and Thunder,
Speaker 1: where I had so much enjoyed seeing his bare botty,
Speaker 1: wasn't he So I thought it was Cchi. It Waschi
Speaker 1: a lie, a lie, a lie about a man's bottom,
Speaker 1: the worst kind of lie.
Speaker 3: No, I remember sharing that story with you on the
Speaker 3: show Similar Reacit.
Speaker 1: I don't think I'll ever get over. I don't.
Speaker 2: I've got the outtakes of the twenty five minute tirade.
Speaker 2: I don't think you're going to get over.
Speaker 1: Moving on though, Mike. Moving on to other showbiz news
Speaker 1: this week. Mister Loverman is a new drama which is
Speaker 1: coming to the BBC that's based on a twenty thirteen novel,
Speaker 1: and there's a character, Norris de la Rue, and this
Speaker 1: character is character approaching his seventy fifth birthday, a guy
Speaker 1: from the Windrush generation, and he comes out at the
Speaker 1: image of seventy five. So to have this represented here
Speaker 1: we go, to have this represented in drama is a
Speaker 1: really fantastic thing. I think that any blackened minority ethnic
Speaker 1: representation of LGBTQ stuff is to be encouraged and celebrated,
Speaker 1: because although this is a work of fiction, it's certainly, yes,
Speaker 1: something that needs to be talked about.
Speaker 3: We very very.
Speaker 2: Rarely get old lgbt Q plus stories anyway, So for
Speaker 2: it to become of a BME perspective as well, that's even.
Speaker 3: Wasn't he in dark Materials?
Speaker 1: I don't know what a dark materials? It's what is
Speaker 1: that off? The dark web off?
Speaker 3: I think it was in dark materials.
Speaker 1: I remember in early in my poetic career, I was
Speaker 1: working for quite a big lgbt Q organization who I
Speaker 1: shall not name. I shall not name and shame them
Speaker 1: no other one now I'm not going to say, because
Speaker 1: I'm going to sag them off. And it weren't. It
Speaker 1: weren't either of them. It weren't either of them. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to say, may you keep getting it right,
Speaker 1: not saying they, oh it was I was asked, right, brilliant,
Speaker 1: it weren't them. They got me to put more sex
Speaker 1: in this creative writing. I was specifically asked. And you know,
Speaker 1: we all go through different phases of our life, and
Speaker 1: you know, different people have different words they used to
Speaker 1: identify themselves, and I was kind of thinking, am I
Speaker 1: a person who's asexual? I was thinking that time, Am I, like,
Speaker 1: you know, not someone who even wants any of that.
Speaker 1: I just hadn't seen enough men's bottoms. That was my story.
Speaker 1: But I was really cross that I was encouraged to
Speaker 1: make it all be about because that wasn't the story
Speaker 1: I wanted to tell. There are other parts of our identity,
Speaker 1: so to have this story represented, I feel very strongly
Speaker 1: about that, because you know, it's great to have stories
Speaker 1: about people of all ages, and we do have a
Speaker 1: lot of stories about younger people on their younger journeys,
Speaker 1: and I think this is, you know, really important because
Speaker 1: of the the This seemed really important because of the age.
Speaker 1: I'm thrilled that this is being made.
Speaker 2: So I'm sorry saying that the BBC is actually doing
Speaker 2: something decent for once.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really good.
Speaker 1: I've got one more story for you, Mike, one more story. Now.
Speaker 1: I am not someone who watches much reality TV show,
Speaker 1: but I'm aware of The Bachelor. When you say not much,
Speaker 1: what that means you do watch some what it is
Speaker 1: you watch? That was me being I don't watch anything
Speaker 1: I watch.
Speaker 2: I was ready with a big bag of judgment because
Speaker 2: normally when someone says I don't want to watch, just
Speaker 2: like I.
Speaker 1: Do watch violent. Yeah, the Bachelor, I believe, is one
Speaker 1: for the straits. I think you familiar with it. It's
Speaker 1: the worst type of reality, is it. But the only reason, well,
Speaker 1: tell me why? So they it off.
Speaker 2: They get an attractive man, right, and some attractive women right, and.
Speaker 1: Then I hate them already.
Speaker 2: The attractive women have to make the attractive man want them,
Speaker 2: so they do flirty flirty, and then they have a
Speaker 2: rose ceremony and go, I'm giving euros, but you're not
Speaker 2: getting the roaster.
Speaker 3: You're going home.
Speaker 2: It's in front of everybody, and it's cuts through and
Speaker 2: it's supposed to be to find love.
Speaker 3: You can't find love like that. They're not shagging.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: How do you know if you love them until they're
Speaker 3: inside you. I'm just saying that the worst idea.
Speaker 1: Well, there's one gentleman, no one. The only reason I'm
Speaker 1: aware of this is because there's a gentleman who was
Speaker 1: on the batcher. He was the guy, okay, but he's
Speaker 1: come out. He's come out as a bundle with them. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: So that's it. I've not seen him on the show,
Speaker 1: but I have seen him here. So two years later,
Speaker 1: So this is with his partner, Jordan I think it
Speaker 1: is the name of his partner. Yeah. So they are
Speaker 1: together and they're they're going to have a baby together.
Speaker 1: They're going to have a family that you know that
Speaker 1: that's their their plan. And you know they look very
Speaker 1: happy in the photo and.
Speaker 3: They are having a child or they've had a child.
Speaker 1: They have a child.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, cool, Yeah, that's exciting, so new parents. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's obviously before that because they have not had they'll
Speaker 2: have no sleep.
Speaker 3: I'm smiling. Oh, happy, happy, happy.
Speaker 1: That's a person who is a single person. I try
Speaker 1: not to become that cliche grumpy old to gay who's like,
Speaker 1: I don't want this in a partner, I want that
Speaker 1: in a partner, I don't the other. And you know,
Speaker 1: things that I was more open minded to when I
Speaker 1: was younger, I'm less super minded. And one of the
Speaker 1: things is when gay men wonderfully, joyfully, gloriously say I'd
Speaker 1: like to have children, and I think, ooh, I'm glad
Speaker 1: that you do. It's not not my part.
Speaker 2: I always had to think that I would want children,
Speaker 2: but I didn't want to be an old dad. So
Speaker 2: the ship has for me and children now sailed because
Speaker 2: I grew up with an old dad and it was
Speaker 2: that you know, grumpio, going oh, I can't be bothered,
Speaker 2: or it was like, no, I don't want to be
Speaker 2: that person, because I am that person now, So.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to have a child and bring them
Speaker 3: up to me going oh, I just can't.
Speaker 1: Well, I've come to the same conclusion through a completely
Speaker 1: opposite path. So my mum was a single mom who
Speaker 1: was a teenage mom who, like in the nineteen eighties,
Speaker 1: was massively shamed and judged. And I grew up as
Speaker 1: a kid with a little bit of awareness of that,
Speaker 1: but also joyful that my mum did have the energy,
Speaker 1: the enthusiasm, and I looked at other kids who had
Speaker 1: scored with their parents who were like not wanting to
Speaker 1: do stuff, and my mom was so up for us
Speaker 1: going places, going out. We you know, I remember going
Speaker 1: to like rock concert, seeing Placebo with her, like you know,
Speaker 1: putting our eyeliner on together, like mother and gay son.
Speaker 3: Yeah, taking a child to place.
Speaker 1: If I'd have an objection, it goes about like fourteen
Speaker 1: fifteen by this point.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's not too yeah. Yeah, imagine six year old
Speaker 3: rocking on me.
Speaker 1: Before that was all the Lloyd's Weber or the all
Speaker 1: the all the cats, all the kind of dressing up
Speaker 1: with whiskers and all that. Malas playing so much. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening to my showbiz Nata Mike, that's wrapping
Speaker 1: up the show biz. That's all from showbiz for this week.
Speaker 1: Well thanks for that, Dominic. Always nice to know that
Speaker 1: celebrities are, you know, getting on doing family things. Coming
Speaker 1: up soon, we have our game to play one game
Speaker 1: of the.
Speaker 2: Week, welcome back to you in the cood with me, Mike,
Speaker 2: ben In Rowe and then Dominic Berry. Now it's part
Speaker 2: of the show where we play a little game. But
Speaker 2: before we do, Dominic a little Birdie Kau has told
Speaker 2: me about a certain something you may or may not
Speaker 2: have written recently.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yeah, are you going to forgive me? I'm
Speaker 1: still laughing at your seventh War joke from the start
Speaker 1: of the show. I'm still chuckling at that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this one the version that went out on TV
Speaker 2: or the one I told you that was another TV both.
Speaker 1: That's not broadcasting. Yeah, that's not broadcasting. No, this is
Speaker 1: not my book, and this book is not any book.
Speaker 1: That's the best book of my career, Mike. So far, Well,
Speaker 1: it might take some might take some beating because it's
Speaker 1: the greatest hits. Okay, it's the very best of dominic Berry.
Speaker 1: So the oldest time so I'm as established earlier. I'm
Speaker 1: forty five this year. The earliest pimoneers from when I
Speaker 1: was eighteen, and it's like a career retrospective.
Speaker 2: Mic, so that would have been how many years ago?
Speaker 1: Oh, my maths, I could do words, not numbers.
Speaker 3: Gary could help out rather just sat there going.
Speaker 1: It's about twenty years worth of work, is it over
Speaker 1: over two decades? Over twenty years, So that's what late nineties,
Speaker 1: early two thousands. Yeah, that's right. The oldest poem is
Speaker 1: ninety ninety eight, so yeah, there's a little year after
Speaker 1: each poem as well, so there's like five new poems
Speaker 1: in here. You might even later on give a sneak
Speaker 1: peek of some of the new stuff, Mike, that might happen,
Speaker 1: That might happen, who knows, because.
Speaker 3: That's what we're doing in part for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, nothing else planned back on set, just in case
Speaker 2: anybody wants to know.
Speaker 1: And when's that book available? Oh, good question. I'm doing
Speaker 1: a big launch for it at the start of December.
Speaker 1: If you happen to be in Manchester, Manchester Central Library
Speaker 1: on Thursday the twelfth, twelfth, if that's the If that's
Speaker 1: the number of the week, that is a Thursday, not numbers,
Speaker 1: that's correct, that's six o'clock. Yeah, so, and I'm touring
Speaker 1: all over with it. So yeah, have a look. If
Speaker 1: I'm a good boil, update my website. I'm very poor
Speaker 1: at doing that. I should because I've got big talk coming.
Speaker 2: Okay, so your websit will be on screen now, can
Speaker 2: we say on social media as well?
Speaker 3: Do you keep people stating there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm on the Instagram map, the poet Dominic. Yeah cool.
Speaker 2: I'm sure people follow along and catch you where they can.
Speaker 2: When you're touring, but for now, go away excited?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, day of the week. So we were going
Speaker 1: to play Uza kazoo. But Dominic, like so many other.
Speaker 2: People, can't play a kazoo, so insaid, we're playing the
Speaker 2: Gorby game show. Are you comfortable over there? Dominic flies
Speaker 2: lit up when you see on the ballgag. So what
Speaker 2: Dominic's gonna do is Dominic's going to sing a song
Speaker 2: and I have try and work out what it is.
Speaker 3: So I am ready for your first endeavor.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm mm hmmmmmmmmmm mmm.
Speaker 3: Is it tricky?
Speaker 1: Well dop? No?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: What well? Long? Well well fall fall, fall.
Speaker 2: My bitch by the Prodigy, no culture cloth smacking my
Speaker 2: bit chop?
Speaker 1: Ye shall I tell you?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, just tell me boy slim right about now? Funk?
Speaker 1: So brother take it folks, So brother.
Speaker 2: I mean it wasn't in the right tune, but yeah
Speaker 2: another one.
Speaker 1: Maybe another one? Right? Right?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: Okay, oh oh wow?
Speaker 2: Can I get en the number for some support? So
Speaker 2: might think what you were having there was a.
Speaker 1: Do you want a clue?
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's have a clue.
Speaker 1: Right, So I've chosen three songs for you and they're
Speaker 1: all from a similar era of so they're all from
Speaker 1: a similar year and they're all of a similar genre
Speaker 1: of music. Three different groups. So we've had fat boy Slim,
Speaker 1: so it's someone a bit a bit sim Beck Devil's haircut. No, oh, Moby,
Speaker 1: I'll give you one final clue. And so the vocalist
Speaker 1: you don't need to sing again. The vocalist is from
Speaker 1: a very famous Manchester band who've just reformed, but this
Speaker 1: is one of their songs. This is e guesting with
Speaker 1: a different group.
Speaker 2: So this was somebody singing a song that's not where
Speaker 2: he normally sings. Correct, correct, But that doesn't help because
Speaker 2: that just tells me that someone sing a song.
Speaker 3: You just tell me, Just tell me.
Speaker 1: It is Noel Gallagher with the Chemical Brothers and let
Speaker 1: Forever be Top ten hit. Mike, you know it.
Speaker 3: I am aware of the song. Now you said the
Speaker 3: actual name of the song.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh wow, I wrote. Do you know it's on
Speaker 1: my T shirt? It's the Prodigy? Okay, man out fund,
Speaker 1: isn't he?
Speaker 3: He can't see us for this?
Speaker 1: Well, he didn't do the vocals only only he only
Speaker 1: danced in this one. This is the one there earlier
Speaker 1: ones ninety one, ninety ninety one. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: was l I love everybody viewing will Now, Mike, you're
Speaker 1: the only person who doesn't want out of space. I'm
Speaker 1: descending from outer space. Fan another piece.
Speaker 4: I take him out to another dimension, Take to break
Speaker 4: to another dimension, take close tension. Should I tell Madonna
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 3: Know what song it is?
Speaker 1: That's a scary thing.
Speaker 3: You just say, I don't know what song it is?
Speaker 1: You do you do? Do I do? I tell me
Speaker 1: that because I don't.
Speaker 4: Know space spoke Prodigy only like the song of the
Speaker 4: Night is.
Speaker 1: Saying that was out of Space by the Prodigy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm saying that.
Speaker 3: What you just sang?
Speaker 1: I did say it? Yeah? Yeah. You have to give
Speaker 1: me another song now, okay, okay, right, I'll do I'll
Speaker 1: do a Madonna song for you right before before work
Speaker 1: men one night if well, b huh before you for what?
Speaker 1: O there? They thought? There?
Speaker 2: So normally in this game, we limit ourselves to no
Speaker 2: more than twenty seconds, and the reason for that is
Speaker 2: because of royalties and if you play.
Speaker 3: But the good news is no clue what it is.
Speaker 1: Someone have to find out what song is and I go,
Speaker 1: oh no, that was something similar to what they're not
Speaker 1: going to be able to. I know Madonna's back catalog,
Speaker 1: I know the weird stuff. Yeah, it's a mainstream, dear
Speaker 1: what this is? It was? It was her first ever ballad.
Speaker 1: The first ever ballad was crazy for you, That's what
Speaker 1: I was doing. I don't know what you were doing,
Speaker 1: but it was not crazy.
Speaker 2: For you, speacause I'm chrazy follow that one.
Speaker 3: No idea what you were doing.
Speaker 1: Bom Ah.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that poetry isn't a song. We'll stick
Speaker 2: around because come up next we have some poetry that
Speaker 2: not being a song, I promise you.
Speaker 3: In Spotlight.
Speaker 2: Welcome back, and you're still watching Mike and Dominic and
Speaker 2: chewing the cud. Now we're going to get a little
Speaker 2: bit of culture. And I'm not talking about what my
Speaker 2: GP asks for in Spotlight. So I believe you have
Speaker 2: some poems for Dominic.
Speaker 1: Oh, Mike, I always have poems, and I thought it'd
Speaker 1: be great to try out one of the new ones,
Speaker 1: if you're up for that. I'm always up for people
Speaker 1: experimenting on me. All right, this is the poem that
Speaker 1: I've written quite recently. The name of this poem is
Speaker 1: Alie's Lost. I think it goes like this. Here's Ali
Speaker 1: keeping busy working from his office chair. A colleague makes
Speaker 1: a quiet, cutting quip about his hair. Last night, he
Speaker 1: worked so late, he didn't sleep, keeps being tired. The
Speaker 1: boss says, Ali's slow. He's scared of being fired. He's
Speaker 1: cut his debt, but feels his work is work for
Speaker 1: work sake. He's quiet. When he's told work through tomorrow's
Speaker 1: lunch break to keep this job, he just says yes.
Speaker 1: He can't take time to rest. He keeps on being pleasant,
Speaker 1: and he keeps on being stressed. Keep up by cutting sleep.
Speaker 1: The silent mouth stays shut. What should Ali keep? What
Speaker 1: can Ali cut? He keeps on cutting caffeine, He writes
Speaker 1: emails in bed, his nerves and iPod shuffle spice, girls
Speaker 1: play inside his head with ginger tea. Today's a mental
Speaker 1: health awareness course. He keeps attending. He's aware of mental health.
Speaker 1: Of course, there'd be consequences if his feelings made him
Speaker 1: shout their mental health awareness seems to always be about
Speaker 1: cutting wrong emotions? Is the goal to just keep glad?
Speaker 1: Is Alie at fault? If Ali feels bad, keep up
Speaker 1: by cutting sleep. The silent mouth stays shut. What should
Speaker 1: Ali keep what can Ali cut?
Speaker 3: Lovely?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 3: What's that? What's that poem about.
Speaker 1: Having a rubbish job that you hate?
Speaker 2: I just wanted to make sure I wasn't putting my
Speaker 2: ideas on it.
Speaker 1: I used to really dislike it when I was in
Speaker 1: school and they do a big long poem about a chair,
Speaker 1: Look at the chair, look at its legs, look at
Speaker 1: the back of the chair, and they go, what's his
Speaker 1: poem about? And I go a chair and the teacher
Speaker 1: will go, no, it's about religious anarchy. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: don't you get that? Most of my poems are quite
Speaker 1: you know, does what it says on the tin?
Speaker 2: And I just wanted to make sure I wasn't sorry
Speaker 2: projecting my thoughts onto the poem.
Speaker 3: Oh Ali really has a shitty job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel really appreciative. You know, it's been a
Speaker 1: long old time now that I've done poetry as a job.
Speaker 1: And I didn't just walk from school into poetry. It
Speaker 1: was like years of doing office jobs, cleaning jobs, bar jobs, nightclubs,
Speaker 1: and always writing the poetry. And yeah, yeah, as part
Speaker 1: of a series of times about Ali, that's not an
Speaker 1: isolated thing. The book's got four different little examinations of
Speaker 1: the life of Ali, but I thought that deserved a
Speaker 1: little snapshot moment. I think it's one that a lot
Speaker 1: of people can relate to.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, oh yes, very very can yes? Do you
Speaker 3: have another one? I maybe I'll to relate to.
Speaker 1: This is a poem called Ali's Tallies, and I think
Speaker 1: it goes like this. Wanna be number one? June ninety six,
Speaker 1: say You'll be There was September melseeded high kicks two
Speaker 1: become one. Christmas single top spot was not missed. Mumma
Speaker 1: next statistics, sooth, so focus on this list. Ali is
Speaker 1: diagnosed autistic at forty. His own dim lit backstory reckcond
Speaker 1: All of these memories are rewritten completely to give clearer
Speaker 1: continuity for this middle aged man. His plan now is
Speaker 1: to simply be the best Ali he can be. Three
Speaker 1: years ago, he was sacked for screaming. Instant dismissal left
Speaker 1: Ali's eyes streaming. His life had been lived in a mask.
Speaker 1: Every time his own head hur felt far too small
Speaker 1: for his mind. Ali's loud sounds can cause alarm. He
Speaker 1: wants understanding. He never wants to harm. When he said
Speaker 1: he can't help, but scream and cry. Employers have told
Speaker 1: Ali his words are Alie. They say that his brain
Speaker 1: is not full to its brim. They say they know
Speaker 1: Ali's brain better than him. But now this diagnosis is
Speaker 1: a badge of pride for wanting to wear the same
Speaker 1: clothes in and outside. A trophy for when he fell,
Speaker 1: however hard, he tried a bridge over every instruction whose
Speaker 1: intent was only implied, and embrace instead of fear, for
Speaker 1: when he screamed and cried. Instead of a boat upon
Speaker 1: railway tracks, He's gained a train to ride to where
Speaker 1: he's not called dumb for liking lists a mile wide.
Speaker 1: Although this does not heal when his condition was denied.
Speaker 1: You're not strange. Be the change. Spice up your life.
Speaker 1: Now too much pain, Stop the blame, Ali, You know
Speaker 1: Howviva forever pride, You're who you know yourself to be.
Speaker 1: Your neuro spicy in a world can be a joy
Speaker 1: to see.
Speaker 2: I know what that one's about. I definitely got that one.
Speaker 2: So what prompts you to write that kind of poem that?
Speaker 1: I think that attitudes and awareness towards autism are really changing.
Speaker 1: It's not uncommon people who are autistic getting into poetry.
Speaker 1: And there's kind of like this assumption that autistic people
Speaker 1: don't have connections to emotions, and you know, it's just
Speaker 1: different ways of being, just different ways of being. And
Speaker 1: certainly there is some incredibly emotional, amazing poetry from various
Speaker 1: neuro diverse artists. And yeah, Manchester is rich, the city
Speaker 1: in which I live, for being full of poets, many
Speaker 1: of whom are on that spectrum. And yeah, I wanted
Speaker 1: to write something celebratory, realistic, full of some of the
Speaker 1: more challenging things that I know people to whom I'm
Speaker 1: close have experienced, but ultimately one of of celebration.
Speaker 3: Lovely. So have you got time to squeeze one more in?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I won't do any moraliens saying I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what I'll do one of my old poems, and
Speaker 1: having ended on a positive note, I'll just do something
Speaker 1: really gloomy about veganism. Yeah, woooo alright, this is what
Speaker 1: my old was. I'm not said this for ages. Let's
Speaker 1: see if I remember it. I think it goes like
Speaker 1: this protein is a biochemical compound whose name Bazelius found.
Speaker 1: Von Voitt claimed flesh makes flesh, then sang a sequence
Speaker 1: insulin peritz prized hemoglobin. The Swedish were impressed more studies
Speaker 1: on its benefits directed mutagenesis, as Weismann had foreseen now
Speaker 1: to give these claims such credence does not distract from
Speaker 1: this grievance. Where do vegans get protein?
Speaker 3: What exactly do you eat?
Speaker 1: It's not healthy, no meat. Such Shakespearean introspection between the
Speaker 1: facts to delves lament be twelve or not be twelve.
Speaker 1: Surely that must be the question. When it's simple to
Speaker 1: eat sensible. The soie bean lacks cholesterol, it's easily fortified
Speaker 1: and cooked, can taste exceptional, tongue tinglingly sensual. And yes,
Speaker 1: it does provide protein, as does peanut, butter, black beans,
Speaker 1: flax seeds, pecans, almonds, lentils, and cashews. And yet this
Speaker 1: is my beef. I hear debates on my belief. People
Speaker 1: question what I choose when I don't choose for pigs
Speaker 1: to feel. I don't believe that pain is real. That's fact,
Speaker 1: not myth, not needed. So could we an evolution swap
Speaker 1: those myths for resolutioncy the cruelty superseded for the facts
Speaker 1: of protein's chemistry. Our documents through history, they're laid out,
Speaker 1: plain and clear. So I'll hopefully wait for an honest,
Speaker 1: heartfelt date when protein's myth will finally disappear.
Speaker 3: You're a vegan.
Speaker 1: I mean I don't mention it much. I don't mention it.
Speaker 1: I don't like to go on.
Speaker 3: NEX should be telling me a teetotal.
Speaker 1: Well, another great poet. Thank you so much for that, Dominic. Oh,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for giving me this space. I
Speaker 1: really appreciate what joy to share with you. Thank you.
Speaker 2: I mean it's just a green screen there, it's not
Speaker 2: actually a wolf. You're welcome, and thank you for being
Speaker 2: an our spotlight. And thank you so much again for
Speaker 2: those poems on it.
Speaker 1: Oh absolute joy. That's almost the end of the show
Speaker 1: for now, but on screen you can see our contact details.
Speaker 1: It is at the cud TV on your social media,
Speaker 1: and if you want to catch up with the previous episodes,
Speaker 1: you can always binge us on YouTube looking for Chewing
Speaker 1: the Cud.
Speaker 3: Thank you for watching and we'll see you soon.
Speaker 1: Bye.