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<v Speaker 1>Section six of the Awful German Language by Mark Twain.

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<v Speaker 1>This LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by

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<v Speaker 1>Kirsten Webber, section six AZZO. If I have not shown

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<v Speaker 1>that the German is a difficult language, I have at

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<v Speaker 1>least intended to do so. I have heard of an

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<v Speaker 1>American student who was asked how he was getting along

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<v Speaker 1>with his German and who answered promptly, I am not

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<v Speaker 1>getting along at all. I have worked at it hard

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<v Speaker 1>for three level months, and all I have got to

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<v Speaker 1>show for it is one solitary German phrase, zweiglass two

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<v Speaker 1>glasses of beer. He paused for a moment reflectively, then

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<v Speaker 1>added with feeling. But I've got that solid. And if

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<v Speaker 1>I have not also shown that German is a harassing

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<v Speaker 1>and infuriating study, my execution has been at fault and

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<v Speaker 1>not my intent. I heard lately of a worn and

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<v Speaker 1>sorely tried American student who used to fly to a

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<v Speaker 1>certain German word for relief when he could bear up

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<v Speaker 1>no longer under his aggravations. The only word whose sound

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<v Speaker 1>was sweet and precious to his ear and healing to

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<v Speaker 1>his lacerated spirit. This was the word damit. It was

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<v Speaker 1>only the sound that helped him, not the meaning footnote three.

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<v Speaker 1>It merely means in its general sense herewith end of

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<v Speaker 1>footnote three. And so at last, when he learned that

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<v Speaker 1>the emphasis was not on the first syllable, his only

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<v Speaker 1>stay and support was gone, and he faded away and died.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that a description of any loud, stirring, tumultuous

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<v Speaker 1>episode must be tamer in German than in English. Our

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<v Speaker 1>descriptive words of this character have such a deep, strong,

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<v Speaker 1>resonant sound, while their German equivalents do seem so thin

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<v Speaker 1>and mild and energy less. Boom, burst, crash, roar, storm, bellow, blow, thunder, explosion, howl, cry, shout, yell, grown, battle, hell.

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<v Speaker 1>These are magnificent words. They have a force and magnitude

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<v Speaker 1>of sound, befitting the things which they describe. But their

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<v Speaker 1>German equivalents would be ever so nice to sing the

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<v Speaker 1>children to sleep with or else, My awe inspiring ears

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<v Speaker 1>were made for display and not for superior usefulness in

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<v Speaker 1>analyzing sounds. Would any man want to die in battle

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<v Speaker 1>which was called by so ta aim a term as

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<v Speaker 1>a schlacht, Or would not a consumptive feel too much

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<v Speaker 1>bundled up? Who was about to go out in a

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<v Speaker 1>shirt collar and a seal ring into a storm, which

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<v Speaker 1>the bird's song word gevita was employed to describe and observe.

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<v Speaker 1>The strongest of the several German equivalents for explosion, auspore.

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<v Speaker 1>Our word tooth brush is more powerful than that. It

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<v Speaker 1>seemed to me that the Germans could do worse than

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<v Speaker 1>import into their language to describe particularly tremendous explosions with

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<v Speaker 1>the German word for hell helle sounds more like helly

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<v Speaker 1>than anything else. Therefore, how necessarily chipper, frivolous and unimpressive

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<v Speaker 1>it is. If a man were told in German to

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<v Speaker 1>go there, could he really rise to the dignity of

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<v Speaker 1>feeling insulted? Having pointed out in detail the several vices

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<v Speaker 1>of this language, I now come to the brief and

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<v Speaker 1>pleasant task of pointing out its virtues. The capitalizing of

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<v Speaker 1>the nouns I have already mentioned. But far before this

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<v Speaker 1>virtue stands another, that of spelling a word according to

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<v Speaker 1>the sound of it. After one short lesson in the alphabet,

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<v Speaker 1>the student can tell how any German word is pronounced

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<v Speaker 1>without having to ask, Whereas in our language, if a

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<v Speaker 1>student should inquire of us. What does b O W spell?

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<v Speaker 1>We should be obliged to reply. Nobody can tell what

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<v Speaker 1>it spells when you set it off by itself. You

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<v Speaker 1>can only tell by referring to the context and finding

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<v Speaker 1>out what it signifies, whether it is a thing to

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<v Speaker 1>shoot arrows with, or another of one's head, or the

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<v Speaker 1>forward end of a boat. There are some German words

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<v Speaker 1>which are singularly and powerfully effective. For instance, those which

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<v Speaker 1>describe lowly, peaceful and affectionate home life. Those which deal

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<v Speaker 1>with love in any and all forms, from mere, kindly

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<v Speaker 1>feeling and honest good will toward the passing stranger, clear

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<v Speaker 1>up to courtship. Those which deal with outdoor nature in

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<v Speaker 1>its softest and loveliest aspects, with meadows and forests and

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<v Speaker 1>birds and flowers, the fragrance and sunshine of summer, and

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<v Speaker 1>the moonlight of peaceful winter nights in a word, those

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<v Speaker 1>which deal with any and all forms of rest, repose

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<v Speaker 1>and peace. Those also which deal with the creatures and

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<v Speaker 1>marvels of fairyland. And lastly, and chiefly in those words

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<v Speaker 1>which express pathos is the language surpassingly rich and affective.

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<v Speaker 1>There are German songs which can make a stranger to

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<v Speaker 1>the language cry that shows that the sound of the

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<v Speaker 1>words is correct. It interprets the meanings with truth and

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<v Speaker 1>with exactness, and so the ear is informed, and through

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<v Speaker 1>the ear the heart. The Germans do not seem to

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<v Speaker 1>be afraid to repeat a word when it is the

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<v Speaker 1>right one. They repeat it several times if they choose

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<v Speaker 1>that is wise. But in English, when we have used

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<v Speaker 1>a word a couple of times in a paragraph, we

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<v Speaker 1>imagine we are growing tautological, and so we are weak

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<v Speaker 1>enough to exchange it for some other word which only

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<v Speaker 1>approximates exactness, to escape what we wrongly fancy is a

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<v Speaker 1>greater blemish. Repetition may be bad, but surely in exactness

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<v Speaker 1>is worse. End of Section six