WEBVTT 1 00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:32.240 Hello everybody, and welcome back. Thank you very much for 2 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:36.159 joining me. My name is Staborah hatswell, and you're listening 3 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:41.320 to BBR Investigations tonight. I am sharing with you a 4 00:00:41.479 --> 00:00:44.320 chart that I had with a gentleman named Barry who's 5 00:00:44.320 --> 00:00:49.840 from the Cheshire area, and we discuss paranormal bloodlines and 6 00:00:49.880 --> 00:00:54.799 our connection to our ancestors, and some have very strange 7 00:00:54.840 --> 00:01:00.759 experiences and how hard it is to deal with frustration 8 00:01:01.320 --> 00:01:05.480 and the rage that comes after a traumatic event, regardless 9 00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:09.120 of what that event is. I believe many people have 10 00:01:09.200 --> 00:01:12.920 to carry emotions and feelings not ours, and we don't 11 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:15.640 understand them as children, and we have to carry them 12 00:01:15.640 --> 00:01:20.560 into our teens and adult years. Combine that with human's 13 00:01:20.599 --> 00:01:24.719 ability to absorb their surroundings and the emotions of others 14 00:01:25.280 --> 00:01:29.319 without ever knowing that you are a sponge soaking up 15 00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:32.840 all manner of enerture, whether that be negative or positive. 16 00:01:34.319 --> 00:01:38.239 During the interview, we were both moved to tears. We 17 00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:42.239 were sharing some emotive experiences and you will hear that 18 00:01:42.359 --> 00:01:45.000 as we speak and I will put it out. The 19 00:01:45.079 --> 00:01:48.519 interview may be hard to listen to at times, because 20 00:01:48.560 --> 00:01:52.719 Barret is real living events that still hold confusion and 21 00:01:52.799 --> 00:01:56.159 pain for him. I encouraged him to let the emotion 22 00:01:56.280 --> 00:02:00.719 out as he shared his paranormal experiences, effect that they've 23 00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:05.439 found him, and with chat about how rage and frustration 24 00:02:06.159 --> 00:02:10.639 of guilt from trauma, any trauma, regardless of what it is, 25 00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:16.560 can also be changed to absolution and deliverance. Barris had 26 00:02:16.599 --> 00:02:20.319 two near death experiences when he was even born and 27 00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:24.080 where he was saved by unseen hands, and on both 28 00:02:24.120 --> 00:02:27.560 of those occasions he was fine. He's seen the shadow 29 00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:31.599 being Enterity in his room after an attachment. Last year 30 00:02:32.840 --> 00:02:36.639 during COVID Burried, he and his partner had a terrifying 31 00:02:36.759 --> 00:02:42.080 experience when something crushed its way through the trees as 32 00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:46.400 it went from four legs up to two right up 33 00:02:46.439 --> 00:02:50.439 to the back door of the car. And we discuss 34 00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:57.000 the ever ending battle between negative and positive energy, good 35 00:02:57.319 --> 00:03:01.719 versus evil, and how our beliefs, still regardless of what 36 00:03:01.759 --> 00:03:06.120 they are, can be an answer to our troubles and 37 00:03:06.199 --> 00:03:10.199 the path forward. I have a listen to what Barry 38 00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:12.520 has to say and I'll catch up with you at 39 00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:15.199 the end. 40 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:16.639 Of It's your perception of things that way the rest 41 00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:17.000 of the world. 42 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:20.000 Do I see what you understand? What you are going 43 00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:22.479 through because you know, you're just a child, did you 44 00:03:22.520 --> 00:03:27.960 fin you with that? So from the beginning, so weird 45 00:03:27.960 --> 00:03:28.719 things are always. 46 00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:32.719 Have around as a young boy, and not just around me, 47 00:03:32.840 --> 00:03:36.520 around my cousins and stuff too as well. So they 48 00:03:37.240 --> 00:03:38.639 they had a lot more. 49 00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:42.240 Strange interactions than I would say I. 50 00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:45.400 Did any in the early years. Whatever happing was going 51 00:03:45.400 --> 00:03:48.919 on with me was always using alone at night, strange 52 00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:51.360 all the time. 53 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:52.800 I wake up from a sleep when I was a 54 00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:56.360 young boy, yeah, under the age of seven, and I 55 00:03:56.360 --> 00:03:58.680 would wake up when it would be as we to 56 00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:02.800 describe a bit was inside like a spait. 57 00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:06.319 Of static, and it was always. 58 00:04:07.840 --> 00:04:14.039 It was almost like fractal shape colored static, always be around. 59 00:04:13.759 --> 00:04:16.920 Me, like a space, like a sphere around me when 60 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:18.879 a wake up, and. 61 00:04:18.920 --> 00:04:21.439 It was the most uncomfortable feeling of what was on 62 00:04:21.480 --> 00:04:24.399 the opposite side of the sphere, almost like it was 63 00:04:24.399 --> 00:04:27.000 a bubble of protection my mum's as it was very 64 00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:27.519 little and was. 65 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:32.240 Quite traumatic, a break up, a lot of violence. 66 00:04:31.800 --> 00:04:36.480 And I think that triggered something I was very little, 67 00:04:36.600 --> 00:04:43.160 talking two years old, maybe bloodshed, anger and rage. When 68 00:04:43.199 --> 00:04:48.199 they split up, I started to talk to something that 69 00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:48.800 wasn't there. 70 00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:54.160 He's got it from imaginary friends and whatever. 71 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:56.879 Well guess that's really when it all sort of started 72 00:04:56.920 --> 00:05:00.360 a little bit odd for me to become fear all 73 00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:01.240 of my. 74 00:05:04.279 --> 00:05:05.920 Jack in a box and my. 75 00:05:06.360 --> 00:05:10.079 Clowns, heavies and understanding. I used to like them and 76 00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:14.959 then all of a sudden fear over all of these things. 77 00:05:15.319 --> 00:05:18.879 So my mum and her mum and stuff were give 78 00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:22.160 a quite a spiritual stuff. You have tyching readings. 79 00:05:22.519 --> 00:05:25.920 These things, but they're not badly people. When people put 80 00:05:25.959 --> 00:05:29.240 off I don't believe in you know, my e lives 81 00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:31.319 quite often if this happened a. 82 00:05:31.319 --> 00:05:33.800 Munple times, they go off these regions stuff, and I always 83 00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:36.759 come back and saying that their children not. 84 00:05:36.839 --> 00:05:39.360 Just my brother Bo and my cousins. 85 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:45.199 But sensitive because my cousins are also my half brothers. 86 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:50.240 My dad was sleeping with my mum's systems, so it's 87 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:52.360 something from his sides as well. There's something to do 88 00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:57.319 with my mum's side as well. Ms The names Lewis 89 00:05:57.360 --> 00:06:02.519 Soot on one side and heine As was my mum's 90 00:06:02.519 --> 00:06:08.399 father's side, which is Germanic right, she can be Gramatic, 91 00:06:08.439 --> 00:06:12.079 but it's more Old English as well. But on my 92 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:15.079 father's side it's Robinson which his son of Robin, which goes. 93 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:16.800 From Germanic and thought. 94 00:06:16.600 --> 00:06:21.079 It roots with them, became scotch Irish and then became 95 00:06:21.160 --> 00:06:27.839 English all the time. Bloodlines family not ancient even everall 96 00:06:28.600 --> 00:06:29.600 which is a very. 97 00:06:29.480 --> 00:06:31.399 Old, old old English name. 98 00:06:33.079 --> 00:06:36.240 So I think it's something to do with genetics more 99 00:06:36.279 --> 00:06:36.839 than anything. 100 00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:40.480 I agree. I think it comes from our ancestors. 101 00:06:41.040 --> 00:06:42.319 M hmsly. 102 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:48.040 I've got a bit of research into this, mysel, and 103 00:06:49.240 --> 00:06:52.680 strong indications that it's something to do with the lost tribes. 104 00:06:56.279 --> 00:06:59.680 Is where we where we come from, especially on the 105 00:06:59.759 --> 00:07:04.720 nor Gramanic side, which is probably the Danites or the 106 00:07:04.839 --> 00:07:06.240 dan or the lost. 107 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:08.480 Tribe of Dan to offer the dan and all the 108 00:07:08.519 --> 00:07:09.040 same thing. 109 00:07:09.720 --> 00:07:11.959 People don't get this, so the Danish or the Danish 110 00:07:12.439 --> 00:07:17.480 London not London. It was Danish, not Danish. So on 111 00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:22.680 the Danube River they sort of Telvics not It was 112 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:25.959 used to Europe for a long time. So I've been 113 00:07:25.959 --> 00:07:30.319 doing a little research into family history, heritage. I haven't 114 00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:33.480 had any blood test. I want all that stuff on fire, 115 00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:40.600 so my cousin is coming. They would always see entities 116 00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:41.680 in their bedroom. 117 00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:45.079 There was a woman on top of the boardrobe exercise 118 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:47.959 and it was a man a long black coat. 119 00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:50.240 The black super black top part and the sort of 120 00:07:50.319 --> 00:07:54.920 Van Dyke style go tea mustache and enjoy stood in. 121 00:07:54.879 --> 00:07:57.800 The room and I always tell the parents, but the 122 00:07:57.839 --> 00:07:58.839 parents didn't believe it. 123 00:07:59.240 --> 00:08:05.480 They're still youngest cousin Robert came along and he started 124 00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:08.800 to talk about it as well, and he went to 125 00:08:08.839 --> 00:08:11.240 my nines one day and he sat down and. 126 00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:15.079 I've got full while marsh look appearance, you're finally right 127 00:08:16.279 --> 00:08:18.519 as my great grandu guide before I was born, and 128 00:08:18.600 --> 00:08:22.360 the eldest grand children you'd be coming to visit them. 129 00:08:22.600 --> 00:08:22.800 Yeah. 130 00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:28.439 Nice. So this was kind of right, pretty well established 131 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:32.639 quite early on that we were all having odd experiences 132 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:33.840 young childhood. 133 00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:36.519 But it all kind of hes offered gving it about 134 00:08:36.519 --> 00:08:38.799 the age of seven or age. Since you've lived at 135 00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:39.679 basically every. 136 00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:42.039 Seven years, you may be selling your body regenerates, and 137 00:08:42.919 --> 00:08:46.200 since he's a cycle of life, they'll be selling your 138 00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:49.480 body regenerates. You are literally a new person every seven 139 00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:53.799 years in physical so you know, at age seventeen seventy, 140 00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:58.360 it's almost like the first vale that's put over here 141 00:08:59.240 --> 00:09:04.120 exactly bet understanding fourteen second bale and the alder you get, 142 00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:04.559 the more. 143 00:09:04.440 --> 00:09:07.000 Bails with them. 144 00:09:07.399 --> 00:09:11.799 This is how I understand it. 145 00:09:11.840 --> 00:09:15.200 Does it kick back in when you were about fourteen fifty? 146 00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:16.480 Did it kick back in a guess? 147 00:09:17.240 --> 00:09:20.720 Yes, Yeah. There was always an entity in my room 148 00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:24.759 at night, always in the corner. And it wasn't just 149 00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:26.919 made a sort of friends had seen it. It was 150 00:09:27.080 --> 00:09:28.200 always every night. 151 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:32.759 But between the building wardrobe and the window there's only 152 00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:34.519 a gap of how you know, you know. 153 00:09:34.519 --> 00:09:37.840 We're talking about ninety fifty council houses. It was only 154 00:09:37.879 --> 00:09:40.440 a gap of fIF six inches between. 155 00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:44.960 The world and the window, and whatever would hear there 156 00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:50.919 was much darker than the shadow should have been, almost hooded, 157 00:09:51.039 --> 00:09:54.879 cloat like he was wearing a ahooded robe essentially, as 158 00:09:54.919 --> 00:09:56.559 the best way to describe it. Was always stood the 159 00:09:56.600 --> 00:09:59.159 same place, never moved. 160 00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:02.639 Was he hiding? Is what he was from you? 161 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:06.120 Yeah? It was used. He was always he was actually 162 00:10:06.200 --> 00:10:09.120 wasn't always there, and usually whatever. 163 00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:13.080 Would manifest shadow was too big to be the natural 164 00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:16.960 end that would be cast in that corner. And I 165 00:10:17.320 --> 00:10:20.320 just me and my brother and a friend who stayed 166 00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:22.399 over a few times and noticed that, and he says 167 00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:23.759 that company. 168 00:10:23.759 --> 00:10:26.200 When you know someone in the corner of the room 169 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:29.159 where things happened like get the call. 170 00:10:29.240 --> 00:10:32.960 You know, cos goes draft and opening doors. And I 171 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:35.759 shook the living door he had click pulled the handle 172 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:40.960 to know it was shut, making screaming at the door, 173 00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:45.840 and then the doors open up and it wasn't the 174 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:48.080 draft actually the handles. 175 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:51.519 It as a very big saying for my brothers. Strange 176 00:10:51.559 --> 00:11:01.320 things that, yes, always happened. That's I should be, that's 177 00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:04.080 the best. But they fell from a tree. When I 178 00:11:04.120 --> 00:11:07.639 was one boy, I was about ten. I was living 179 00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:11.840 in northward of the time in fields. I was with 180 00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:13.639 my brother a few of the friends in the back 181 00:11:13.639 --> 00:11:15.440 of the river day where you live. 182 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:18.320 And behind the back of the old house. I was 183 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:21.000 basically just like the slope run down down to the 184 00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:23.919 field down to the river. We bushes and trees, and 185 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:26.799 we were in the tree behind the back of my 186 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:29.320 friend's house and I climbed up this it's like a 187 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:32.240 bush sense they were growing so big and also high 188 00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:35.919 house from slope. I climbed up, me in steam of 189 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:38.759 it and being a little monkey that it was at 190 00:11:38.799 --> 00:11:41.399 like ten years old, it looked like it looked higher 191 00:11:41.480 --> 00:11:44.159 and higher until I got too high that the branch 192 00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:46.399 started to bend over and couldn't get back. 193 00:11:47.519 --> 00:11:54.039 So it was a sly upside down upside down on 194 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:56.480 a tree, and then as an upside down. 195 00:11:56.559 --> 00:11:59.360 And see there's someone that basically look up an old 196 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:00.879 slam pole. 197 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:16.799 Thirty inches of steel. That was I knew it was 198 00:12:16.799 --> 00:12:22.440 gonna die and falling and slept and falling, and I'm 199 00:12:22.559 --> 00:12:26.720 freshening the air and from my slow motion and just 200 00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:31.600 pushed the right of my side, move move the an 201 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:32.679 my body. 202 00:12:34.799 --> 00:12:37.320 That emotion is okay, let it out, don't pep holding 203 00:12:37.320 --> 00:12:40.519 it in, letty out. Just let it out and. 204 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:50.759 Steep and moved me change anles fell and this. 205 00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:57.200 Piece of steel just grazed my side, came to sweet 206 00:12:57.200 --> 00:12:59.879 my arm and body should have missed me and one 207 00:13:00.039 --> 00:13:04.600 It's sort of it's like my whole body was landed 208 00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:06.320 in time on this tongurete, so. 209 00:13:06.559 --> 00:13:11.200 No one area got impacted. It's almost like hits it level. 210 00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:13.919 It's not hard way to describe it. None of my 211 00:13:14.039 --> 00:13:16.159 limbs were touched before this biggest ball of tongue. 212 00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:19.799 He was the boy. I was stretched perfectly over it. 213 00:13:21.559 --> 00:13:22.679 It's not the wind that I mean. 214 00:13:22.759 --> 00:13:25.639 And every bone in my body cracked and the I 215 00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:27.960 got with no engines about the breeze on my side 216 00:13:29.399 --> 00:13:31.240 and I couldn't describe it into the stayble. 217 00:13:31.279 --> 00:13:35.039 All remember is that the hands the first time, I 218 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:39.519 mean yea, or when it was the bit of barn 219 00:13:39.639 --> 00:13:43.919 when I was about eleven. And there's some woods behind 220 00:13:44.039 --> 00:13:48.919 the school there. We've got pump house woods on Google Maps. 221 00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:51.759 Used to call it the school that sused to camping 222 00:13:51.840 --> 00:13:55.879 there the summer, maybe some holidays, groups of. 223 00:13:55.960 --> 00:13:57.840 Us winning take ten and just like that the fire 224 00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:00.519 would make a show and we're just sleep in the day. Yeah. 225 00:14:00.759 --> 00:14:03.639 From the nineties it was great. 226 00:14:05.159 --> 00:14:09.039 And once some holidays, but a friend of mine died 227 00:14:09.559 --> 00:14:13.039 a few months he hung himself. 228 00:14:14.200 --> 00:14:18.000 He was about thirteen. Following the time it was so 229 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:22.840 at ninety ninety seven, yeah. 230 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:26.279 Something, And we made the zipline in the woods so 231 00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:29.679 as the biggest trees and the wes that blue night 232 00:14:29.720 --> 00:14:31.799 a lot of washing. So we climbed up and was 233 00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:34.399 like coming into the fig of two houses where this 234 00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:38.080 tree were in the zipninely down to another tree. 235 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:41.200 On the forest floor where the tree that fell. 236 00:14:41.799 --> 00:14:46.440 So the zipline overshot the tree that fell. You know, 237 00:14:46.519 --> 00:14:48.519 he's tied to the three further back and there was 238 00:14:48.600 --> 00:14:51.600 like a badger set or something past the tree where 239 00:14:51.639 --> 00:14:53.559 he tied it onto. You see all the sand of 240 00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:57.480 bin up excavated by badges or farm. 241 00:14:56.399 --> 00:14:58.080 The first out at the bottle of what I made 242 00:14:58.200 --> 00:14:58.759 and put. 243 00:14:58.679 --> 00:15:05.600 It inside this badger whole yeah stick and a friend 244 00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:07.080 who killed himself. 245 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:10.000 His brother turned up in the woods later on and 246 00:15:10.440 --> 00:15:16.799 he seems working for me. And a prend jowl both 247 00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:20.639 scrambled up the tree and were lucky for me. I 248 00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:23.039 was the first one in the time. I mean, I 249 00:15:23.080 --> 00:15:26.679 thought lucky for me. I show off. But we had 250 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:28.279 like a lanyard on it. It was like it was 251 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:31.519 that heavy duty material with a lanyard. Clicked the lanyard 252 00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:33.960 and run along the main branches. Jumped out of the 253 00:15:34.039 --> 00:15:38.080 tree and as I judged a few meters out and 254 00:15:38.639 --> 00:15:41.559 I felt it as it snap as the landed but 255 00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:46.039 snatty and I started moving. It starts. 256 00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:50.080 As he snaps and turned in the air and going 257 00:15:50.159 --> 00:15:55.759 face first and down towards the ground, and everything slowed down. 258 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:57.480 I knew I was going to die because I could 259 00:15:57.559 --> 00:16:00.799 see I was falling towards the failing three head first. 260 00:16:01.320 --> 00:16:02.919 I was going to spare it and break my neck. 261 00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:04.440 I knew I was going to happen. 262 00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:05.279 I just knew that more. 263 00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:05.919 I'm dead. 264 00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:12.320 As I'm following everyone like I can see the shot 265 00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:14.320 them up on the faces as it goes. 266 00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:24.120 I remember is two hands nowhere from above me, naps 267 00:16:24.159 --> 00:16:25.600 around me. One of my. 268 00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:33.120 Yeah turned out my waist and. 269 00:16:33.279 --> 00:16:37.480 It didn't stop it from further. It just slowed my descent, 270 00:16:40.759 --> 00:16:43.080 you know what I mean, in the air. It made 271 00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:45.200 me overshoot the. 272 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:49.679 Log and you want a million chance I would head 273 00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:52.320 first into that badger whole had that bottle of live aid, 274 00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:58.240 and he went into the whole. Spirit of the ark 275 00:16:58.279 --> 00:17:00.519 store was at my feet, presentially arms. 276 00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:05.119 Over my back when the sand gave away and basically 277 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:07.880 come out of them. And that was screwed. And I 278 00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:09.799 I told me one though, and I suppose I can 279 00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:13.319 even weeks. Yeah, somehow I. 280 00:17:13.400 --> 00:17:19.400 Sup Everyone's like you're you're two step twelve step part collapse. 281 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:23.960 And my pes and I couldn't say something on I 282 00:17:24.039 --> 00:17:25.079 felt that these warm. 283 00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:28.519 Hands were massive as well. They were not step big hands. 284 00:17:29.960 --> 00:17:33.160 He's like three or four times the size of his hands. 285 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:35.680 They were abnormally large. 286 00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:40.839 They were huge. They with gigantic hands that I could 287 00:17:40.920 --> 00:17:47.200 feel them. They were warm. I could feel that when 288 00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:51.160 when I was hanging on me and protection safety. But 289 00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:54.200 I don't have to describe it. No. 290 00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:55.319 I know it's hard, isn't it. 291 00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:01.039 That's when it really like that first time I felt 292 00:18:01.079 --> 00:18:02.839 from achievement was young. I kind of put the harm 293 00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:07.119 in my mind after this happened, and there was a 294 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:09.119 lot of people and my best friend was my bro 295 00:18:09.839 --> 00:18:13.160 in his best mate, I'm one of my other best 296 00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:13.519 friend and. 297 00:18:13.519 --> 00:18:14.759 His brother who passed away. 298 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:17.880 They didn't see the hands, so I didn't see hands. 299 00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:25.880 He was just feel the things that was I mean, rechards, 300 00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:29.759 your angels. I don't know it. 301 00:18:31.160 --> 00:18:32.759 Yeah, And I put that out in my mind for 302 00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:34.559 a long time, but he keeps coming back to me. 303 00:18:35.079 --> 00:18:38.359 It's trauma. And how do you explain that as a 304 00:18:38.519 --> 00:18:41.319 child when you grow up like me on a council 305 00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:44.519 estate with all your mates, and like, how do you 306 00:18:44.599 --> 00:18:48.359 have that discussion? It's not it's not something you can 307 00:18:48.480 --> 00:18:50.440 just bring up, is it when you're playing Wally or 308 00:18:50.519 --> 00:18:52.839 something like that? Trying to explain all that. I think 309 00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:55.480 if your children, I think we learned to disassociate. 310 00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:57.759 Like I know what it felt like to me. 311 00:18:57.960 --> 00:19:02.400 I was falling into something slowed my fall and changed 312 00:19:02.440 --> 00:19:05.240 my trajectory and I can't deny it. It was almost 313 00:19:05.319 --> 00:19:07.480 like it shooped me up as it was falling from 314 00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:08.200 the air and kind of. 315 00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:11.400 Shuck me forward in a way. I don't know how 316 00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:14.799 use to describe it. So je me past I was 317 00:19:14.839 --> 00:19:17.599 going to die, and I brought my neck and back 318 00:19:18.319 --> 00:19:22.079 I wouldn't be and I knew what was coming. And 319 00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:26.039 you know, it's like all there were things that happened. 320 00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:30.039 I mean, I've forgotten more now remember of a lot 321 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:31.920 of things that it was so much. 322 00:19:32.359 --> 00:19:35.799 In the way of events, things that moved around the house, 323 00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:38.960 especially when either child myself and the daughter, whether it 324 00:19:39.160 --> 00:19:43.200 was nineteen and a huge, a little over the big 325 00:19:43.440 --> 00:19:45.480 voices over the baby monitor, like someone is in the 326 00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:47.759 room singing nursery rives to her. 327 00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:49.440 I mean most of the time she'd be asleep and 328 00:19:49.480 --> 00:19:51.200 it was like there's someone in there singing to it. 329 00:19:51.759 --> 00:19:53.680 And I was thinking all the time, its interferous wing. 330 00:19:54.480 --> 00:19:56.559 But actually, when I was listening to this nursery rhyme, 331 00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:58.680 it's not like anything ever heard in my life. 332 00:19:58.720 --> 00:20:03.119 It's it was something old, yeah, than any any of 333 00:20:03.240 --> 00:20:05.440 our old nursery rhymes that we've seen. 334 00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:09.519 It's seen something before my time, something before the time 335 00:20:09.559 --> 00:20:11.759 of those who sang nursery rhymes something. 336 00:20:13.079 --> 00:20:17.000 It was old wherever it was, and the boys sounded off. 337 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:20.079 Baby bottles and fly off the kitchen side glass things 338 00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:22.839 like that's also just fly. 339 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:23.680 Off the kitchen side. 340 00:20:24.680 --> 00:20:27.039 You got to see the kids, you've got to have 341 00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:30.079 a normal relationship, and you've got all of that going 342 00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:33.119 on around your you know. And I think it's easier 343 00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:35.720 for women to say their experiences if I don't think 344 00:20:35.799 --> 00:20:37.799 it's like that for men. I think it's much harder. 345 00:20:39.319 --> 00:20:42.559 Oh, we live in a time where we're convinced, where 346 00:20:42.599 --> 00:20:45.920 we're being told that myth and all this sort of 347 00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:48.599 myth and all that stuff, it's all just in your imagination, 348 00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:52.119 and it's it's like we've been programmed to not see 349 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:54.079 or acknowledge these things anymore. 350 00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:57.920 With our re education system. The whey we have been 351 00:20:58.119 --> 00:21:02.960 broken down and build back up to. I guess you 352 00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:06.559 live in a different vibration to not perceive the perceivable. 353 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:09.079 Yeah, we shadows of what we should be, you know, 354 00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:12.519 we shadows. We shut down at birth. It shut us 355 00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:15.640 down at birth because if people understood how powerful they 356 00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:19.480 actually were, and we celebrated that and played to those 357 00:21:20.079 --> 00:21:23.200 those skills that you have would be very different human 358 00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:26.039 beings if we were told as children. We don't know 359 00:21:26.119 --> 00:21:29.599 why this is happening, but I believe you. I understand. 360 00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:31.759 I saw it myself as a kid. I think it 361 00:21:31.799 --> 00:21:35.359 would be different for us going forward. You know, I'd 362 00:21:35.400 --> 00:21:37.680 love that for everybody where it was just a normal 363 00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:41.319 conversation that you can have. You know, this shit's happening around. 364 00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:43.160 I'm seeing it in the kids. I'm seeing it in 365 00:21:43.240 --> 00:21:46.160 the grand kids, because that's the thing. You'll watch your 366 00:21:46.200 --> 00:21:49.000 own go through it and then there's nothing you can do. 367 00:21:49.640 --> 00:21:51.480 And then you've got to watch your grandkids go through 368 00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:53.920 it as well, you know, and then you think, well, 369 00:21:53.960 --> 00:21:55.680 their kids are going to go through it, aren't they. 370 00:21:58.680 --> 00:22:01.519 What I'm worried about trying to break the cycle of things. 371 00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:09.599 I've always been a great person times, and I'm a 372 00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:11.880 much better man than I am now, But I was 373 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:13.640 always very self destructive. 374 00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:17.920 And I said that my parents, like my moment and 375 00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:21.000 mynn and my cousin is mum. 376 00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:24.960 We go to psychics and the spiritual mediums and stuff, 377 00:22:25.319 --> 00:22:26.440 and they can both come back. 378 00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:29.720 Seeing hildren Gift, I believe that had the ability to 379 00:22:29.759 --> 00:22:33.839 see stuff. Cousins, But I don't think me the same ability. 380 00:22:34.440 --> 00:22:37.559 It's different for everyone. It's eating everyone of us. It's different. 381 00:22:37.640 --> 00:22:38.599 We all have. 382 00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:41.200 I mean, people call it the gift, don't they, But 383 00:22:41.359 --> 00:22:44.480 it's it's sometimes it's a it's a blessing, and sometimes it's. 384 00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:51.200 Mine. I'll tell you what I feel other people's pain. 385 00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:54.480 I was going to suggest that to you, that you 386 00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:58.000 feel emotion, I would imagine you take on everything when 387 00:22:58.039 --> 00:23:00.720 you walk into a room, carry a lot of rage, 388 00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:04.079 or carried a lot of rage because you don't know. 389 00:23:04.359 --> 00:23:08.680 Yeah, I can read between the lines what people are saying. 390 00:23:08.759 --> 00:23:10.279 That someone can say something to me, I don't know 391 00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:11.039 what you really mean. 392 00:23:11.480 --> 00:23:16.160 You know what I mean. It's it's hard because people 393 00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:21.720 want and somehow nimitated to how they're feeling, and they 394 00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:23.839 can tell you. You know, it's been you a yarn 395 00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:27.039 to trying to brush off what's going on inside. And 396 00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:29.960 I always know what's going on. So I think that's 397 00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:37.079 where my curse or gift is being able to read 398 00:23:37.119 --> 00:23:38.599 the unreadable that. 399 00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:41.799 Tells me you're a really good person, because your first 400 00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:44.359 start was that you didn't want to intrude on that 401 00:23:44.519 --> 00:23:48.920