WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, Hey, I'm bad with something for you to

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<v Speaker 1>think about. When your abuser never apologizes. Did that sink in?

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<v Speaker 1>When your abuser never apologizes? I really, really really want

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<v Speaker 1>you all to think about this because some of you.

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<v Speaker 2>Are individuals who have given total power to people who

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<v Speaker 2>have hurt you. Now, I know when I said abuser,

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<v Speaker 2>some of you immediately immediately.

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<v Speaker 1>Thought I was talking about your SUCs, your significant others,

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<v Speaker 1>which it can be.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyone who have hurt you and you're holding on to

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<v Speaker 1>that hurt.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyone who have hurt you.

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<v Speaker 1>And you're still holding on to that hurt, that's the

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<v Speaker 1>abuser I'm talking about. See, a lot of you want

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<v Speaker 1>someone to say I'm sorry. You want them to say

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<v Speaker 1>forgive me. But for most people, that's never gonna happen.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to love yourself enough.

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<v Speaker 2>To move on.

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<v Speaker 1>I know a lot of you think that I'll be

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<v Speaker 1>talking out the side of my neck, but I know

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying is true.

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<v Speaker 2>The world is full of people who are holding.

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<v Speaker 3>On to old pain that they continue to make it

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<v Speaker 3>feel as if it's new pain because they keep read

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<v Speaker 3>living it, they keep reliving it, because they keep thinking

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<v Speaker 3>about it.

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<v Speaker 1>And they hold it to the fore front of their

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<v Speaker 1>brains and it feels fresh.

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<v Speaker 2>Some of you will never ever, ever ever get it.

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<v Speaker 2>Get a I'm sorry, Please forgive me. I was wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>I never got it from someone. But you have to

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<v Speaker 1>move on. You cannot let what other people have done

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<v Speaker 1>to you to control you or ruin the rest of

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<v Speaker 1>your life. You are giving power to people when you

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<v Speaker 1>do that, When you allow your hurt and pain that

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<v Speaker 1>someone inflicted on you, you are the one who's making

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<v Speaker 1>your life even worse. Because I'm telling you right now,

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<v Speaker 1>some people will never ask you for your forgiveness. Some

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<v Speaker 1>people can't because they're dead and gone. And I've talked

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<v Speaker 1>about that before. Some people you're bitter and angry and

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<v Speaker 1>enrage that are dead and gone.

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<v Speaker 2>Make it make sense. Why are you holding on to

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<v Speaker 2>all of.

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<v Speaker 1>That pain.

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<v Speaker 2>For the rest of your life.

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<v Speaker 1>Some people have died and wanting to their graves holding

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<v Speaker 1>on to negativity.

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<v Speaker 2>When you do that, when you're that type of person,

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<v Speaker 2>all it does is make you so vulnerable to predators.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not talking about sexual predators, but it could involve them.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>People who prey on other people because they see their

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<v Speaker 1>vulnerabilities When you have a lot of negativity inside of

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<v Speaker 1>you and you're holding on to negative things, you make

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<v Speaker 1>yourself vulnerable to other people who are of unhealed hearts

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<v Speaker 1>and minds like you. You make yourself vulnerable to be used, abused,

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<v Speaker 1>taking advantage of.

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<v Speaker 2>Some of you will never ever ever get an apology.

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<v Speaker 2>Never never, and that's a fact.

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<v Speaker 1>Whatever you went through may have been traumatic, but what

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<v Speaker 1>you doing to yourself is just as bad because you're

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<v Speaker 1>inhibiting your growth. You're inhibiting your ability to mature and

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<v Speaker 1>to become the best person that you can be because

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<v Speaker 1>you're too busy holding on to.

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<v Speaker 2>The anger and the pain of what someone done to you.

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<v Speaker 1>You're mad because they died and never said I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>I want you to think about that. Think about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Make it make sense. And what I'm saying is make

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<v Speaker 1>it make sense that you're holding on to bitterness and

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<v Speaker 1>anger because someone died and didn't say I'm sorry. They

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<v Speaker 1>didn't say I'm s solemn when they were alive. So

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<v Speaker 1>why hold on to something you never gonna receive? Why

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<v Speaker 1>cause yourself unnecessary self inflicted pain because you're going through

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<v Speaker 1>life with the same hatred and bitterness in your heart

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<v Speaker 1>when every day you get to see it's a day

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<v Speaker 1>for you to become better, a chance for you to

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<v Speaker 1>become better, an opportunity for you to become better.

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<v Speaker 2>But what do people do know.

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<v Speaker 1>They double down, They double down with the negativity. If

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<v Speaker 1>you're a negative person, you think negative, you feel negative,

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<v Speaker 1>you act negative.

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<v Speaker 2>People can put.

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<v Speaker 1>On good facides, you know, they can fake and pretend

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<v Speaker 1>very well, they're masters at it.

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<v Speaker 2>But what's inside of you will still.

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<v Speaker 3>Affect you because there is no change, because it's still there.

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<v Speaker 1>It affects your marriages, it affects your ability to parent,

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<v Speaker 1>It affects you as a boss, It affects.

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<v Speaker 2>You as a supervisor or any form of leader.

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<v Speaker 1>It affects you as a pastor, police officer, president.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it don't matter what role.

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<v Speaker 1>Or position that you have, an unhealed heart and mind

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<v Speaker 1>will affect you.

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<v Speaker 2>And this is exactly why.

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<v Speaker 1>We're seeing all of the chaos and drama in the

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<v Speaker 1>world today, all of the unthinkables committed in the world today,

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<v Speaker 1>because people are of unhealed hearts and minds. Like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>everything then come from childhood. Some people picked up things

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<v Speaker 1>as they grow because as you get older and you

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<v Speaker 1>start doing things on your own. Social circles change, environments,

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<v Speaker 1>change the things that you hear and you receive from

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<v Speaker 1>other people changes, and you get negativity from everywhere. Social media,

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<v Speaker 1>news radio, I mean it's everywhere. So people get all

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<v Speaker 1>kinds of negativity. And when you are not an individual

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<v Speaker 1>who have that mental maturity, you will gravitate towards what

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<v Speaker 1>you think is similar to you.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's awful.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's awful, and it can lead to destruction

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<v Speaker 1>and devastation. And I know first hand it can because

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<v Speaker 1>it happened to someone very very dear to me. It

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<v Speaker 1>led to total destruction, total destruction because of what she

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<v Speaker 1>chose to get into. Total destruction and devastation that can't

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<v Speaker 1>ever be undone. It's permanent because a lot of times

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<v Speaker 1>people get into things that they think they can handle,

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<v Speaker 1>but they have no clue until they get in it.

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<v Speaker 2>And they're in a bad, bad place.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a lot of you don't want to listen to

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<v Speaker 1>the truth. You want to rebel, You want to continue

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<v Speaker 1>to go through life the same way, and you run into.

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<v Speaker 2>These people that's no good for you.

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<v Speaker 1>You get into these things like drugs and alcohol and sex,

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<v Speaker 1>perversion and all kind of things you comhearse them into.

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<v Speaker 2>And ruin your lives because you chose to do.

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<v Speaker 1>The wrong things, because you chose to go through life

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<v Speaker 1>bitter and angry. All it does is lead to self destruction.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't have to go out and commit a Hainou's crime.

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<v Speaker 1>You self destruct yourself in your own life by the

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<v Speaker 1>behaviors that you have, by the thoughts that you have,

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<v Speaker 1>and the feelings you have behind those thoughts, all because

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<v Speaker 1>you choose not to change. You wanna do it your way,

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<v Speaker 1>which is not the right way and haven't been.

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<v Speaker 2>The right way obviously.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're still in the same place mentally, your way

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<v Speaker 1>is not the right way.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're still struggling with the same things.

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<v Speaker 1>From years and years ago, your way is not the

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<v Speaker 1>right way. Obviously. If you're doing it the same you're

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<v Speaker 1>getting the same results. Your way has not worked. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know how many times I have to say it,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'll keep saying that.

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<v Speaker 2>If it does not matter.

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<v Speaker 1>What you gain in this world or what you don't

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<v Speaker 1>gain in this world, what's.

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<v Speaker 2>In you will have an effect on you.

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<v Speaker 1>If you don't make a positive change in your life,

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<v Speaker 1>that negativity will have an effect on you. Let me

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<v Speaker 1>tell you, I know someone who is so negative. This

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<v Speaker 1>person is so negative, and they have no clue that

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<v Speaker 1>they're OCD. They have no clue that they are full

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<v Speaker 1>of anxieties and paranoias. They have no clue I've talked

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<v Speaker 1>to this person. They don't believe what I'm saying. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not telling the truth, it's not true. But I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>you forgot what I've done all my life. You forgot

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<v Speaker 1>my degrees, you forgot what I've been a part of.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying that to help you, not to hurt you,

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<v Speaker 1>not to be mean. You are a negative person, and

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<v Speaker 1>you take in all the negativity from these people in your.

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<v Speaker 2>Life that you call your friends.

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<v Speaker 1>All of them are me negative dumping on you, and

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<v Speaker 1>now you're a mess.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean all over the place, all over the place.

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<v Speaker 1>You talk to this person, and they will go all

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<v Speaker 1>around the world, just all over the place.

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<v Speaker 2>But they don't see it.

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<v Speaker 1>They see things in other people, but they can't see

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<v Speaker 1>anything in themselves. And their home depicts their mental status.

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<v Speaker 2>Clearly, just disarray everywhere, but they can't see it.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's because of all of the bitterness inside that

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<v Speaker 1>they've held on to for years and years and years

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<v Speaker 1>and now they're just cold hearted.

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<v Speaker 2>But they can't see.

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<v Speaker 1>The person that hurt them the most is dead and good.

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<v Speaker 1>When that person was alive, they still didn't apologize.

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<v Speaker 2>But this person still care the hurting pain.

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<v Speaker 1>They'll say that they don't, but it's obvious that they

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<v Speaker 1>do and they have affected them for a lifetime. You

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<v Speaker 1>have to want better for yourself. You have to love

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<v Speaker 1>yourself despite of.

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<v Speaker 2>What you've gone through.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyone who hurt you, it does not matter who they were.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyone who hurt you went through something themselves, and I've

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<v Speaker 1>always told you it is no excuse. But because they

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<v Speaker 1>were unhealed and never learned to cope in a positive way,

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<v Speaker 1>they projected on you.

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<v Speaker 2>But because that happened, you still.

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<v Speaker 1>Could have chosen a better route, a better path for yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>No matter what you've gone through, you still could have

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<v Speaker 1>chose to be better. But most people stay in the

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<v Speaker 1>same place mentally, on the same path.

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<v Speaker 2>With no mental maturity.

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<v Speaker 1>They get older, they gain things in life, they accomplish things,

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<v Speaker 1>but mentally they are the same and they're still struggling

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<v Speaker 1>with the same types of mental problems because of the

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<v Speaker 1>hurt inside. Because they never ever, ever forgave whoever it was,

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<v Speaker 1>and they never forgave themselves for allowing themselves to go

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<v Speaker 1>through life.

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<v Speaker 2>Full of hurt, pain and anger, when when they are.

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<v Speaker 1>Way way past that, they're not experiencing it anymore. They're

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<v Speaker 1>experiencing in their memories, and they have empowered their memories.

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<v Speaker 1>They have so much power, they have invested so much

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<v Speaker 1>power in their memories.

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<v Speaker 2>That it has formed all of these negative thoughts.

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<v Speaker 1>And they just project project, project, project, project project.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what people do, projecting.

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<v Speaker 1>All their negativity onto others, causing havoc.

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<v Speaker 2>In the world.

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<v Speaker 1>Have hearts full of hate, anger, rage, holding in that

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<v Speaker 1>mess for years, causing dysfunction in their own lives because

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<v Speaker 1>they choose to hold on to the negativity and not

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<v Speaker 1>let it go.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why every day we see.

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<v Speaker 1>People just fallow, fallow, fallow, fallow, fall into traps, believe

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<v Speaker 1>anything easily because of the mindsets.

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<v Speaker 2>That they have.

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<v Speaker 1>Even when people are blatantly doing wrong, they can't see it.

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<v Speaker 1>They fall for the okie dope because they can't see

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<v Speaker 1>anything else. They can't see positive because they're so.

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<v Speaker 2>Surround it and drowning in negativity.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I said, some of you will never receive the

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<v Speaker 1>forgiveness you're looking for, But what you need to do

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<v Speaker 1>is forgive yourself. You need to forgive yourself and let

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<v Speaker 1>go and move on. I'm not saying you're gonna forget,

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<v Speaker 1>but you don't have to give power to those negative thoughts,

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<v Speaker 1>those memories that you are holding on to as if

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<v Speaker 1>there is any benefit those memories that's causing you pain.

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<v Speaker 1>It's no benefit to hold on to those things. It

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<v Speaker 1>makes you a better person. It makes you an angry person,

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<v Speaker 1>it makes you a person who's.

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<v Speaker 2>Gullible and fall for things that you shouldn't fall for.

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<v Speaker 1>The person that you really need to receive forgiveness from

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<v Speaker 1>is yourself. Forgive those other people because obviously they went

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<v Speaker 1>through something.

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<v Speaker 2>Forgive them in your heart.

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<v Speaker 1>Because they went through something too, and it was wrong

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<v Speaker 1>of them to hurt their children.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why I said, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>This mindset, these unhealed hearts and minds affect parenting. We

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<v Speaker 1>see it today right now today, the terrible parenting styles

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<v Speaker 1>that people have absolutely terrible, and unfortunately many of those children,

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<v Speaker 1>most of.

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<v Speaker 2>Them will grow up with similar traits as their parents

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<v Speaker 2>or parents.

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<v Speaker 1>Because people get comfortable even with the negativity, They get

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<v Speaker 1>comfortable in complacence, they normalize it and walalat of Walla.

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<v Speaker 1>We have a world full of broken people doing the

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<v Speaker 1>most following wrong, disrespecting, doing all kinds of things because

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<v Speaker 1>their unheal hearts and minds. You may never get that apology,

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<v Speaker 1>but you definitely, one hundred percent need to forgive yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>It's up to you. You can continue in life with

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<v Speaker 1>this darkness inside of you, or you can say enough

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<v Speaker 1>is enough.

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<v Speaker 2>I want better for me. I love me. Most people

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<v Speaker 2>don't love themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>There is no way a person love self with all

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<v Speaker 1>the hatred and bitterness in their hearts. There is no

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<v Speaker 1>way possible, no way, no way, no way. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>care what you think. You do not love yourself. If

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<v Speaker 1>you're carrying around darkness, evil, hate, anger, bitterness, that is

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<v Speaker 1>so far from love. A person who love themselves want

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<v Speaker 1>peace and harmony in their lives. They want love in

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<v Speaker 1>their lives. They want to show love for other people.

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<v Speaker 1>They want to be good to other people. You can't

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<v Speaker 1>be that with hate in your heart.

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<v Speaker 2>You can't. You can't love, really love with.

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<v Speaker 1>Hatred in your heart. You just can't do it. And

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<v Speaker 1>I know many people think that they love themselves, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's an illusion. It truly is, because, as I said,

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<v Speaker 1>there's no way you love yourself with so much hatred

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<v Speaker 1>in your heart, so much negativity in you that you

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<v Speaker 1>become comfortable and complacent with because it's so familiar. It hurts,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's so familiar. Make it make sense, as they say,

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<v Speaker 1>because it don't.

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<v Speaker 2>It does not. You have to do some inside work

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<v Speaker 2>for change to occur.

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<v Speaker 1>No one can do it for you. You have to

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<v Speaker 1>do it for yourself. And if you choose to keep

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<v Speaker 1>going through life.

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<v Speaker 2>The same way, you will get the same results.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care how much money you have or how

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<v Speaker 1>much money you don't have. That heart has to change

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<v Speaker 1>for the better if you want better in your life,

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<v Speaker 1>point blank. And that's all I'm saying. If you want

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<v Speaker 1>to reach out to me, you have questions, whatever, please

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<v Speaker 1>feel free.

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<v Speaker 2>My podcast has my email. I will respond. Thank you

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<v Speaker 2>for listening.

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<v Speaker 1>Please share much love in every episode the same and

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<v Speaker 1>I pray, I pray you do it, think on it.