Speaker 1: Fast Food Horror is an abbey Normal production.
Speaker 2: Welcome listeners to Fast Food Horror. In this episode, our
runner goes for a run in the woods but encounters
far more than he could have ever imagined. In this
episode titled The Runner by E. J.
Speaker 1: Miller, I couldn't have planned it out better. Seven in
the morning, enough time to get a fifteen mile run
in before the kids or their wife woke up around
the lake, through the rolling hills of yellows, oranges, and
reds in the state, parking back again. By the time
I got back, they would have just started breakfast, and
I really wouldn't have missed a thing. I quietly exited
the cabin so as not to wake up anyone and
draw their fury. Took a deep breath and filled my
lungs with the crisp morning air, and stretched out. The
sun was just coming up over the top of the hills,
a beautiful sky painted of cotton candy pinks on a
baby blue canvas. On this autumn morning, I could see
the lake from our cabin we had rented. The water
was still and serene, with a light valve of fog
that snaked its way from the lake into the woods.
The whole scene was something out of an Ansel Adams pitcher,
only in color, just perfect. I double checked my cellphone's
battery full charge. I glanced at the route I had
planned out the night before on my map app just
one more time, then hit play on my running playlist.
The rhythmics sweet dreams filled my AirPods. What a great
way to start my morning, running in a place right
out of my dreams. I made my way from the
cabin down the incline towards the lake, enjoying the feel
of the autumn leaves crunching underneath my feet, the sight
of my breath as I exhaled, and the smell of
pine and earth. What a great vacation this was, spending
time with my girls and my wife, away from technology
and all the other distractions. Yes, I know where were
they right now? Fast asleep? This morning was all about me.
I had a marathon in two months and had to
make sure I got all my miles in no excuses,
so I made sure to do all my running when
they were otherwise engaged in another activity, the favorite activity
of most preteens and teens and overworked mothers everywhere sleep.
Most of my route was a simple lap around the lake,
with some zigzags here and there, just to make sure
I got every inch of my miles. In the first
few miles were scenic. I enjoyed the peaceful scene before me,
the stillness of the lake on my left, the sun
reflecting off its mirrored surface, A smattering of wildlife going
about their day as I passed by them at my
rhythmic pace. A fox, a bunch of squirrels, rabbits, and
a family of raccoons, presumably heading back to their home
after a night of pirting the campgrounds dumpster. At mile six,
I turned into a well worn path that wound into
the woods. Gone was the warm rays of the sun,
and now my skin was cooled by the shade of
the shadows of the trees. I wound my way down
the path. It varied from incline to decline, but mostly
decline into an abandoned creek bed that fed into the lake.
If I stayed on this path, it would wind me
back to the lake and back to the main road.
I had definitely found my pace. Looking at my watch,
I was at my regular eight minute mile. My breath
was steady, and my legs ran effortlessly. But between the
bangles walked like an Egyptian and Queen's under pressure. In
that brief respite of three seconds between songs, I heard
the earth shattering shriek that echoed in the abandoned creek bed.
I stopped in my tracks and took out my AirPods
and listened. There it was again, a high pitched scream
of a call, not human. I could recognize it as
not being that, but me being a city boy, I
could not identify the animal calling out. I only knew
that whatever it was, it was in pain. I thought
about turning back. It was at least a mile back
to the main road if I went the way I came.
But if I pushed forward and at a quick enough pace,
I did it back to the main road in no time,
all the while remembering there were predators that could be
in the park. After all, this was a forest, not
a Disneyland attraction, but a real forest full of wild animals.
I had read the pamphlets wolves, bears, mountain lions, and
something called a fissure. I had to google that last one,
nasty little thing to be avoided. What was I thinking
to run through the actual woods? I decided to step
up my pace and push my way through air pods
out so I could actually hear if there was danger
until I got back to the relative safety of the
main road. Down the creekbed. I went that wound back
and forth, and as I made my way around the
fourth turn, it hit me. A stench of a smell
assaulted my senses. I slowed my pace and covered my
face with my shirt and tried to stop gagging. What
was that? I've never spelled anything like it. I continued
up the creek bed and then found it lying in
the middle of the bed, a tan brown mass, barely
identifiable as the animal that it was because it was
no longer in one piece. The antlers still attached to
the head gave it away, though too bad the head
was no longer attached to the body. It was fairly large,
but I really had nothing to compare it to. Again,
not an outdoorsy type. It had been gutted, though organs
strewn about the river bed like Christmas wrappings tossed by
a child. One of its rear legs had been clean
ripped off. I don't know where that went, and the
smell I'm guessing was from its bowels being emptied out.
It was the only comparable odor, though it was just foul.
I walked up on the animal. The gash marks were huge.
Immediately I started thinking about bear or mountain lion. And
that's when I noticed something that I should have noticed
all along. Its chest still gently rising and falling ever
so slightly, and the blood was still slightly escaping the wounds.
This was a fresh kill. I had stumbled upon some
fairly large predators wrecked. My mind immediately flashed to documentaries
I used to watch when I was a kid about predators,
about them being territorial. I needed to get out of
there immediately before I found out exactly what kind of
predator did this kind of damage. The crash of sound
shook me from my thoughts. It sounded like a tree
had fallen. It had awakened the entire forest. A cacophony
of sound erupted from everywhere where. Was it coming from?
What it made?
Speaker 2: It?
Speaker 1: It was getting closer. Where was it? I looked all
around me and couldn't see anything. I looked up at
the top of the tree canopy about one hundred yards
Something large was coming. I ran out of the creek
bed in the direction of what I was hoping was
the main road and the lake, but in its territory,
in its forest. I looked back. The dark mass seemed
to be clearing three trees at a time with each leap.
I wasn't sure how it was even moving or what
it was. What could be so high in the trees
pursuing me. I had to stop looking back. I was
losing seconds turning to look. Just sprint forward, I told myself.
I pumped my legs as hard as I could, lean forward,
trying to get any momentum, trying to separate myself from it.
Closer still, I could see to break in the trees daylight.
Would I even be safe on the road? Sprinting trying
hard not to stumble. Oh God, please don't let me fall.
I broke through the trees onto the road and glanced
back with a huge dark form swinging lower to the ground.
It was still pursuing, It wasn't stopping. I reached the
end of the other side of the road and to
drop off into the lake below fifty feet. It was
my only escape. I left. I felt the air cutting
through my clothes and hope the water was my escape.
The last thing I remember was a searing pain across
my back before hitting the cold water below. I awoke
in a hospital bed to the soft beep of a
monitor like an annoying electric metronome. I had no idea
how I got here or for how long. But I
wasn't in the forest of the lake, and I was alive,
so that was good. As I was collecting my thoughts
and about to call out for a nurse, my wife
and daughters burst through the door. Tears and questions filled
the room. It was dizzying trying to keep up with
who was asking about what. The rapid fire questions from
all four at once, and the cacophony of sound was
just overwhelming. Finally I got a word in edgewise and
blurted out, how did I get here? My wife stopped
my daughter's barrage of questions with a wave of her hand,
a trick I could never pull off. She explained that
a camper was fishing and found me washed up along
the lake, barely conscious. The camper quickly rushed me to
the hospital, where the doctors were treating me for dehydration, lacerations, contusions,
and a suspected concussion. Before I had a chance to
follow up with a question. She gave me a big
hug and started crying again, then followed up with telling
me that a driver had seen me burst out of
the woods, running across the road, stumbling off balance and disoriented,
before sprinting and jumping off the overhang and into the lake.
She got very emotional, telling me that I pushed myself
too hard and running by myself in the woods. What
was I thinking? My wife then told me the doctors
think I bumped my head at some point, which gave
me a concussion. She went further and stated I probably
hid it before jumping in the lake, which explained my
stumbling disoriented out of the forest. All the cuts on
my back were from the shale and rocks along the
edge of the lake. My middle daughter quickly saw my concern,
retrieved her phone and showed me a picture of my back.
Long deep gashes ran its length from shoulder to hip,
not scratched gashes. I was stunned and scared all at once.
I didn't know how to tell them that I remembered
getting the lacerations and the pain that came with them
well before I hit the water, which means they weren't
from what was in the lake.
Speaker 2: It Rott