Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome to dar Niki. My name is Nikki, and
on today's show, experience the thrill of daring road trip encounter,
where a woman's bold actions lead to a steamy climax,
leaving her husband in awe and herself craving more. Dive
into a summer of wild abandon at a notorious campsite
where a man's encounter with a daring woman leads to
public displays of passion and a bridal desire. And join
a woman on her first erotic massage where skilled hands
in intimate touches awaken her deep essential desires, leading to
a climax of pure ecstasy that ends so so much more.
Are you ready to spice things up? Here's a sneak
pink of the steamy audio content a waiting for you
on Patreon. This is your utmost desire, me to come
over and over without having the need to yourself. This
is total control. This is how I rule your mind
and body. Join now for ad free access to the
Wednesday Show, an exclusive Friday episode packed with erotic role
play and pleasurable audio experience. Treat yourself to something naughty
you deserve it. Join Patreon today and indulge in your fantasies.
If you're new here, welcome to my show, where people
can share their deepest sexual secrets in fantasies anonymously. Each week,
I read out letters and emails from listeners who have
bravely shared their intimate experiences with me. The show is
a safe space for people to confess their hidden desires
and encounters, free from judgment or repercussions. By sharing these stories,
we're creating a community that ignore and accepts the diversity
of human experience. If you're looking for a place to
explore your own desires or simply listen to other experiences,
you're in the right place. Tune in for some raw, honest,
unapologetic accounts of the human intimacy and connections. If you
have a secret story or experience you've been dying to share,
now's your chance. You can write to me directly at
Nikki and Ikky at dear Niki dot com, or submit
your confession anonymously at Dear Nikki dot com under the
Confession stab. Perhaps you have an erotic fantasy that's been
burning inside you, or maybe you just want to say hello,
whatever it is I really want to hear from you
and just remember, if you decide to write in for confessions, questions,
or anything else, you certify the following are true. You
are the sole creator of the submission. You're eighteen years
of age or older legally able to write. Submit erotic
dad pornographic material stories including bestiality, incest, incest fantasies, underage roleplay, rape, sex,
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Also check out our partnership pages for exclusive discounts and
learn about the amazing businesses I work with. Not every
story is demi. Some are just downright hilarious. Let's get
into the ones that make you laugh, cringe, and maybe
think the universe that it wasn't you. Dear Nikki. A
few years ago, I had an engineer come to my
house to instead all cable and internet. I had no
idea they would go into my bedroom until they turned
up and told me they needed access to the window
in there. I hadn't cleaned things up in the room,
but I gave them access without thinking too much about it.
After finishing the job, they left giggling and looking at
me strangely. It was only then that I realized my
massive fifteen inch rambone dildo was sitting right next to
where they'd been drilling into the wall.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I kind of had.
Speaker 1: Something like this happened well when I got internet upgrade
this past year, and my office is filled with products
to test and yeah, so the cable guy showed up
and behind me is my bondage teddy bear that someone
gave me my Yeah, my vibrator.
Speaker 2: Actually more than.
Speaker 1: Vibrators, all eight nine dildos that came in at that
time for me to write a review for a company.
And I mean my desk is filled with sex toys, lotions, oils.
I forgot. Yeah, I knew they were coming, but I
forgot I was having it. It was easier to install
it in my office instead of like another room. So yes,
he walks in We're having like a normal conversation, but
I could tell his eyes. And I have a Playboy
on my wall too. It's a it's actually it's framed
because it's a Peter Max edition.
Speaker 2: I love the cover.
Speaker 1: So it's it's up and it's framed and off the wall,
you know, on the wall. So he's looking around my
room and I'm like, I'm gonna rotic audio podcaster.
Speaker 2: I get said sapples, and he was like okay.
Speaker 1: And you could tell the whole time he was there,
he did not know where to look. He kept he
just kept focusing on his tablet and just looking at
the desk. I wanting to look around, but I've never
had a fifteen inch dildough.
Speaker 2: You guys would have known about it by now.
Speaker 1: One of our holidays, my partner and I ended up
purchasing too any wood surfboards. On our journey back home,
we placed them in the bags with the Oh Cosmetics
bag containing a few more personal items. Baggage check in
went smoothly and we flew home without any trouble. As
we were waiting in baggage claimed for our luggage to
come around the carousel, we started to hear this jackamber
like sound getting louder and louder As more luggage started
moving around the carousel, it was clear it was coming
from a bag. Turns out it was our bag. What
ended up happening was that the cosmetic bag had popped open,
causing my partner's hard plastic vibrators to fall out. With
all the movement from the luggage and transport, the vibe
button had been pushed and the moving toy eventually became
wedged in between the two boards with just no space
to make all sorts of racket. Every run around started
looking at the bag inquisitively as it went around. When
it finally made it to me, I said loudly, oh hey,
that's my bag, grabbed it and walked away like there
was nothing to see here as it continued to make
the Kheber Sands the whole walk to the airport. I
even heard one girl talking to her friend near me
right before I picked the bag up, say ten bucks,
that's a vibrator in there. So on, I think you
know a couple of episodes ago I told you when
I flew back from the UK, mine didn't go through
the carousel. Mine actually did show up. I was going
through the checkpoint. I didn't have mine on, but the
scan I forgot. I put it in my computer bag
and I usually never don't do I usually put it
in my check bag like this lady did. And the
next thing I know, they were like, I saw it
pulled off before I was going through this, you know,
the metal detector thing. And I'm like, crab, what I
put in there? Because I hastily packed that bag. And
I get over and they're like, we need to check
your bag. Is there anything in here? And I'm like, no, oh,
I mean, I honestly had no clue. And until they
pulled out my vibrator was in this tiny little velvet
purple velvet baggle. It wasn't vibrators all, it was everything.
It was like a vibrator and an attachment and some
other things. And yeah, needs to say, it didn't bother me.
But the guy was the the guy because she it
was a lady that was going to go through it,
and then she saw it and looked at it. She
like walked away, and the gentleman looked at and he
just did the big.
Speaker 2: Old cheeky smile like ooh you a bad girl.
Speaker 1: Darny game my partner and I enjoy sex, toys and
our time alone. After a good session, we always make
sure to clean and leave our toys out to drive
before putting them back in their bags and in the
toy box. We also recently got a puppy who will
pick up and run off with anything she sees that
looks remotely chewable. You see where this is going. One morning,
after a good night session, and then before we had
a chance to put our now clean, dry toys away,
my five year old son entered our bedroom and shouted,
the dog has bitting someone's willy off, And well, there
are only two people with a willy in our house,
him and me, but it clearly wasn't him, so I
checked mine. Nope, all okay, big relief. But then whose
willy is it? I run downstairs to see a tiny
puppy struggling to bite and pick up our life like
eight inch bright pink dildo. Never in my life I
imagined that at five am in the morning I would
be chasing my thirteen week old puppy and around shouting
give me the willie, with my son beside me in hysterics.
We told him that it was leftover school prop from
studying a biology at the big school. Okay, I've never
heard that happen, but when Zeppelin was a puppy, he
did get a hold of a purple vibrator I had,
and thank god it wasn't expensive now, Kashmir, like last
year I had. This is why I had to buy.
Speaker 2: I knew.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's so she got into the expensive toys. Eyone
only destroyed like a fifteen travel bulb vibrator, you know,
just nothing too big. She, on the other hand, got
a hold of buy womanizer. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was ready to sit and puppy.
Speaker 1: Back, but you know, Cashmi, you're still here, so you know,
you know what time it is. It's time to sit back, relax,
Let's have a whiskey with some filthy cherries, of course,
and explore some ironic fantasies. Found people just like you
and me. He Nikki, I'm a woman of a certain age,
not in a relationship at the moment, but happy with
my life choices. I wanted to start, by the way
as saying thank you. I'm sure lots of people do that,
but it means a lot for me to tell you.
The reason people listen and enjoy your podcast is never
really meant, and so I wanted to put it out
there or why I do and what it means to
me and how it inspires most of my intimate thoughts.
It's your voice, your little hints sometimes that you like
what you're reading, or at least one time you mentioned
needing your toy after recording. Oh God, Nikki, that's how
I am when I listen. It's so relaxing, stimulating, and
you add a level of extra euroticism. That's just the
icing on the cake to help me climax. I have
listened to so many episodes now and sat there afterwards
wondering if I haven't experience to tell you. I live
my sex life over and over to see if there
is something I can expand on that might excite your listeners.
Examples of this could be my first clumsy times when
I girlfriend and I would go to a river bank
and dry hump each other pretending to French kiss. I
could talk about the times I stayed at the Ann's
house that I found her sex toys or lingerie she
had in her bedside drawer. She might as well be
the reason I have a collection of toys. Now, I
can maybe tell you that about skinny dipping on a
holiday with a bunch of complete strangers and now somewhere
out there photos of existing of me doing it. Or
I could talk about the funny things happened to me,
like the man I dated that kept calling me his
ex wife's name, or the one that confessed he wanted
to wear my panties and I let him. I could
mention when I was looking at a menopause forum, when
I sat down on a online rabbit hole leading me
to a sex chat site. I used that a lot
to help my urgis. Being called a milf was quite
an eye opener. I could tell you about the neighbor
drunkenly telling a group of us women how her husband's
dick is too big for her, and how she cannot
cope the looks on our faces as we tried to
imagine him in her priceless She won't have a clue.
She even said it, the times I have masturbated thinking
of them having sex. But all those things are not
the experience I want to tell you about to day.
At least, my experience is listening to you, your contributors,
naughty stories and confessions. I touch myself listening to you
but time aside to do it. I left certain points
in them that remind me of something or make me
think what would I have done? I like to think
of the others involved too. I won't mention the names,
as not sure how that works. There's no order in this.
But recent one was a woman that overheard the older
couple having sex. They were in a French farm working there.
That turned me on so much. Her and a friend
would secretly get turned on hearing them fucking in a
nearby room. But my twist that makes me wonder is
what did the older couple think. Perhaps they were so
horny because the two girls were so close by. Perhaps
they wanted to be heard. That might have been their thing.
There was another one about a man that found his
friend's used panties and when he showered. I loved the
idea of him masturbating into them. But did she know?
Did she do it on purpose? I certainly like to
put myself in her shoes for that one. There was
a very naughty one about two girls sharing a man
when on holiday she called herself a cumslat Trust me,
I remember it well as it sends shivers down my
body and certain triggers on my urges. She mentioned licking
his balls when our friend was riding him. I can
picture that so clearly, can almost feel him on my
own tongue or taste her juices on him. The way
you tell this story really hits the spot. Finally, though,
the one that gets me going is from the one
you call the girl on the train she listened to
your podcast there. I've done that many times too. I
have my kindle or air pod in place. It's an
absolute tease, not being able to touch myself in those situations,
but I love it. I look around to see if
she might be the one on the train near by.
Obviously she isn't, but an exciting thought that some one
else might be reading or listening to something naughty like
I am. And she does with her experience. She comes
home after cheating on her husband with an older man
at work, but her husband secretly knows about it. I
try to see it from his point of view. Does
he get turned on knowing what she did? Does he
want her to do more? Is the jealousy has turned on?
I go down many paths listening to you. I dore
the little extra things you mentioned about your life. How
you wrap up the episodes. It may be a subject
that shall not be mentioned, but trust me, this rather
mature woman certainly gets turned on by this and I
masturbate frequently thinking about you, the contributors the stories. So
now you know, it's a huge thanks for me, Tracy.
Oh my goodness, I thank you so much. I I
beyond words, seriously. I got into this for exactly that,
for us to really realize we're not alone out here.
You know that we do have a common dominator, which
is sex, regardless of how we do it, and and
we all do have desires. I often wonder do I
as anybody, especially when I apply to the UK or
I'm traveling public, Like like when I had to ride
in the luggage rack in the UK train. That was Yeah,
I didn't listen to anything that was too fascinated by
the surroundings to really. I mean, but you know that's
traveling abraud. But thank you so much for saying that.
I know it's my voice. I mean, it's the only
reason really I've successfully lasted as long as I have
in the industry. You do you know I've never not
that I think I'm an ogre or anything, but or
very far from that. But I love being mysterious. I
am out there. You can see me in a couple
of interviews and such, and me in person in places.
But I do this so you can do exactly that.
Wonder what this person, the person could be any dent
buddy behind the confession or story, and you know, it's
a turn inward to really search on where you're going
with your fantasies and where is it for you to
be able to turn the fantasy in and go oh,
I didn't realize that turned me on. Sometimes when we
don't think of those things, we stay very vanilla. We
don't challenge ourselves. And I hope that these stories and
it does sound like you do challenge and maybe think
about things in a different way, and it does seem
like it's doing that. So mission accomplished for me very
much so, and that makes me very very very happy
about me. I know, I don't talk about myself very much.
I never intended to. I shied away from that, and
I guess I can use that kind of tongue in
cheek loosely. Not that I don't think you guys are
interested in my life, but there are so many podcasts
out there that are about you know themselves and stuff,
and you can you find that. But I really wanted
to be able to shine a light on everybody else.
And quite honestly, I'm quite boring.
Speaker 2: I am, I'm very.
Speaker 1: Very I'm in intervertent ways, but I do once I
you know, I'm I guess I could say I have
a mask that some people say they're afraid to come
up and say hello to me, but I'm actually very kind.
I'm what you hear is what you get. That's I
don't know how to be anything else but authentic. I
was not raised to have the I'm this way and
chatty chatty chatty, and then once you you know, I
never wanted to be when I go into public and
go to my events, I never wanted to be god
she I had really high hopes. That was my biggest
fear in life is when I started this, it was
if I was to ever do a meet and greet
or go just places where people was, I didn't want
them to leave go ugh, you know, and think differently
of me. I hope I've never done that to anybody,
and if I have, I'm completely sorry, but I'm glad
that it's exercising our imagination so I would really like
for you to even if it's you think it's mundane.
Remember in our life, what we might not con see
is not thrilling or exciting. Maybe exciting for the next
person that listens. It might be exciting for the other person.
What if the other person is, you know, white tidies,
and god, I know I pick on white tities.
Speaker 2: I do white.
Speaker 1: Tities and you know, and that's it missionary with the
lights off and they're done. And I really hope not.
It's every story's encouragement to something else or at least
reaching out in trying something new. So again, what your
vanilla or you know, might be somebody's homade mella, you know,
the more yellow vanilla. So you have like pure white
or just driven snow vanilla, then you got like yellow vanilla,
which I actually like better castetta, more vanilla taste and creemy.
It's silly, I know, taste better in floats to change
my mind. So that being said, if if ever you
have a fantasy or story that you think is to
vanilla to not as adventurous as what we share, because
we do share everything that comes through we do, we
absolutely do, so we don't write off you know boring.
What you might be afraid of is boring or to vanilla.
Nothing is to vanilla. Here it's not. It gets shared
for encouragement. So write in absolutely one hundred percent and
thank you so much, Tracy, and I hope you're enjoying this.
Dear Nikki, were coming home from a trip and I
was feeling a bit horny in adventress. I reached over
and started rubbing my husband's cock over his pants. I
felt him get hard, so eventually I pulled it out
and started strogging him. I knew he had been horny
for a couple days, so he started leaking a lot
of precomb fairly quickly. I leaned over and took the
head of his cock into his mouth and started sucking him.
As we went down the interstate, I massaged his balls
with one hand and used my other to jerk him
while I sucked the tip. He was reaching over and
gripping and massaging my butt cheeks when one of my
biggest turn ons, I felt him spread my cheeks apart,
causing my asshole to spread open a bit so hot.
As we drove, we passed a multiple semi trucks, and
he said he could see other drivers looking down as
we went by. Normally I would try to cover up,
but I really didn't care this time and kept going.
I consense he was getting close to comings, so I
moved my hand down impressed directly on his asshole the
tip of my finger. The tip of my finger lightly
circled his hole, and he was having a hard time
holding back. I pressed my finger harder into his ass
and that sent him over the edge. I felt the
head of his cock swell, the veins on his shaft
bulging against my tongue. He shot rope after rope into
my mouth until it was completely full. I swallowed it all,
and then it a couple more sucks to clean a
little bit of cum that have dripped down his shaft.
Needless to say, I was a soaking mess after that.
I may have even happily taken care of myself while
he drove. Then looked at me. Love your show, Samantha,
Hello Samantha, how are you not a girl? I have
never given road head like at all, tempted out the walls,
but it seems like every time I'm fucking we're in
a We're like in a stick shift, and there's the
console thing of a tiggy cock block thing in my way. Yeah,
because I thought about it, and every time I think
about it, seems like we're on our risky road riskue.
Maybe those of you that have given hand job blow
jobs while on the drive when you're dealing with a
standard or a stick shift, that's what we say here,
or maybe that's aging me. How do you go around
about it? I mean, I'm always afraid, like my boob
might knock it out of gear, or you know, maybe
we'll get too carried away and maybe my hand will
be vigorously while stroking you go knock it out of gear,
and you know, maybe absolutely put it in reverse. That
would be bad. Not a car shop person, but I
think that would be bad, really bad. AnyWho, it is
something a fantasy of mine, and yeah, I'm gonna have
to you know. The best one to probably do, like
a road show like antiques road show type of thing,
would be the old here with me, ladies and gents.
You know, the old just old trucks, the old pickup
trucks that didn't have the cock blockers in the middle,
you know, the bench seats, you know those old cars.
I wonder now that I think about it, because I
do drive by some houses I have still the older
classic like classic cars by now, and they have the
standard bench seats. Do you think they keep them for
a RoadHead. I'm just kind of wondering here. I absolutely
would love to do this, Samantha. But again, like I
said everyone, I wanted to do it too, there's a
fucking stick shift in my way. So that big said,
Oh my goodness, I bet those balls were very yummy
to lick up, Dinnicky. It was a few years ago
when me and my maids drove down to Cornwall in
the southwest of England to that summer party and lie
on the beach and try to fuck pretty girls.
Speaker 2: We stayed in a.
Speaker 1: Camp site that only allowed guest age eighteen to thirty,
which was infamous for being one of the most debotched
sights in the country. Our four man tent was in
the middle of the top row of thirty identical tints
in the field. Most had groups of girls or guys
in and as we arrived and unpacked our stuff, groups
of girls wandered over to talk to us to check
us out. One of the groups of four, this one
girl was especially blatant. She hovered around us for ages,
and even after her three friends went back to their tent,
she sat with us for an uncomfortable amount of time.
She did her absolute best to flirt, even though none
of us were particularly interested in her. She wasn't bad looking,
but not great either. She had long, ginger hair, pale skin,
and was on the chubby side. She grew increasingly persistent
the more we ignored her. She started talking more and
more about Sachs, and then she said it the sentence
that started at all. I'd fuck any of you, she said, simply,
I'd let you fuck me in the ass if you'd
want to. I couldn't believe she'd actually said that, and
neither could my mates. We all threw each other glances
and raised eyebrows, but we totally disregarded what she'd said,
as if we were all so embarrassed for her that
it was easy just to pretend that it never happened.
She slinked away shortly after that. We went clubbing that night,
and when we got back to the camp site, some
one had turned their tint into an after party with
the set of decks what looked like a professional sound system.
Loads of girls we met that day were there, including
the red haired, chubby one. I've knew I should stay
away from her. She radiated a weird vibe and I
normally wouldn't have to look twice at her. But here's
a thing. I fucking love anal sex. I'd just broken
up with my first serious girl friend, and she'd been
hugely into it. She'd been the one to show me
how intimate and sexy it could be. I was missing
my axe, and I was missing ass fucking and I
couldn't resist. I found myself in front of that weird girl,
found myself talking to her. She was called Sundra. She
was a few years older than I was, and she
looked at me like she wanted to fucking eat me.
You'd really let me fuck you in the ass, I
shouted in her ear to be heard over the music.
Getting to the point in a way we'd never have
dared with any other girl. Yeah, why not? She yelled back.
You're hot, I mean I like it. My cock was
swelling already. What else do you do?
Speaker 2: She shrugged.
Speaker 1: Whatever you want, as long as you make it feel good.
One of my mates, Neil, saw me talking to her.
He had to come, I'm over and try to get
me away from Sondra. He'd obviously caught a bad vibe too,
but I didn't let him. My mind was filled with
bad ideas, my blood was up. I was far too tempted,
and I got rid of him. I don't believe you,
I said to Sondra. You're I'll talk and no trousers.
She laughed at me. I'm absolutely not. I'm a total slut.
Her breath was hot on my face, and as she
shouted in my ear, I love being bad. I love
being a slut. You're the camp site slut. Sandra grinned
at me. Yeah, let me show you. She pressed her
body into me. Let me suck your cock. Right now,
I knew I should back away from her. This girl
was clearly nuts. I don't think she even knew my
name yet she looked desperate for anything. Plus, she'd already
offered her ass to four guys within the hour of
meeting them, and I was pretty sure that was a
major red flag. But I was weak.
Speaker 2: Come on.
Speaker 1: Then, I led Sandra out of the tent and tried
to take her back to ours, but that thirty meter
walk was absolutely far too long for her. As Sandra
stopped me, she pre practically leaped at me. She wrapped
her arms around my waist and pressed her lips into mine.
Sandra made these frantic sighing mewing sounds as pushed her
tongue into my mouth. She scrabbled at my belt and
my jeans like it was she was desperate to get
a hold of me. Sandra shoved her hand down into
my underwear. She pulled my hard dick out, and she
stared down as she tugged on it. We were out
on the open, between two tents. There were two people
close by, but Sandra didn't seem to care. In the
slightest she sank to her knees in the grass and
leaned in to kiss my cock. Sand ran her lips
and tongue all over me before she took the head
of my prick into her warm, wet, sucking mouth. She
pumped me with a hand and around the base of
my shaft slid me into her throat, each time gliding
her lips down the mine. It wasn't the most skillful
head I've ever had, Butssandra made up for it with
unbridled enthusiasm. She moaned round my cock in her mouth,
and it felt like she was sucking me as hard
as she could. Sandra's tongue slipped around the head of
me as she worsiped my dick. As she slurped and
jacked me, Sandra let globs of spit slide out between
her lips. She spread it over my prick with her
hand and her mouth. She greeted me to the sloppiest
of sloppy blow jobs. I was soon dripping from it.
Sandra tickled my balls with her other hand. She sank
down me further and further before coming up for air.
Sandra didn't quite deep throat me, but she got pretty close.
She really wasn't that good looking. I'd love to say
she was, Butssandra was plain still watching her suck my
dick like she was one taking all the pleasure from it.
It was a hell of a sight. Not that I'd
let Sandra do all the work. She said she liked
being bad and that she was a slut, so I
put it to the test. I dropped a hand to
her head and began pulling Sandra into me. I started
driving my hips fucking her mouth as just as much
as she was sucking on me. It turned Sandra on
all the more, and the rougher I got with her.
The worse I treated Sandra, the more fervent she went.
She moaned with feeling. Her face was flushed. She had
a wild look in her eyes that probably should have
been a warning to me. I screwed Sandra's face. I
screwed her throat. She coughed and sputtered lines. The spit
fell out of her mouth, but Sandra sucked me urgently
as best as she could. I heard a noise. I
looked up. I hadn't realized people were standing close by,
that they were watching us. More came over as Sandra
served me on her knees, groups of guys and girls.
They all cheered us on. I was worse with Sandra
than I really disrespected her, but Sandra fucking reveled at it.
Hot tingin was rising up my dick, but I didn't
try to hold it back. I used Sondra. I made
plenty of noise, letting her know I was getting close,
putting on a performance for our audience. The sole thought
in my head as I got there was that I
was going to come in her mouth, that all I
was going to do was fill her with jiz. Butssandra
had another idea. As I groaned as my orgasm hit me,
she took my prick out from between her lips and
held it over her upturned face. Fuck it, why they'll not,
I gasped as I came. The first rush of jis
surged out of me. Sandra jumped, but she moaned as
it fell across her chin and lips in her left cheek.
I came hard and made a total mess of her.
My cumbs splattered across Sandra's cheek and nose and forehead
and went into her hair. It fell into her open mouth,
and it dripped off her chin. Sondra moaned and laughed
as happened as I painted her with glistening jis as
she was having the time of her life. The crowd
around us whooped and clapped as they watched becoming all
over her face. She sucked on me as my orgasm
ebbed away like she couldn't bear to stop, like she
couldn't get enough of me. Sondra swallowed the last dregs
of my jizz as she grinned up at me, and
with the most of it shining on her face. Sandra
had absolutely proven to me that she was exactly who
she said she was, and that the first encounter was
very much the tip of the iceberg of what happened next,
all of the craziness that I still can't believe that
I got up to her with. I'll share more if
your listeners like Nick. Hello, Nick. Yeah, absolutely, I wonder
if I don't think that was near where I was
in Cornwall. I was in a really plush area in Cornwall,
so I don't think that place and I'm not there,
so I don't even know if I could have gone in,
And I know certainly that the brit couldn't got in
with me. He is a little more than thirty himself.
So I'm telling you you guys over there, I love
it over there. I really call it my second home.
As a matter of fact, my jeep, I have a
duck with the British flag on it, and I'm very
proud of it. It's a big duck.
Speaker 2: I'll have to take a picture of it and post.
Speaker 1: It and the chat or in the on you know,
Instagram and stuff, so you guys can see it. But yes,
I got it at the airport, because you know, you're
not supposed to anyway. You can't read the whole duck
jeep thing, you know, if you want and find out why. Anyway,
I have never been to a beach fuck party. That's
exactly what I'm gonna call this, because it sounds like
it was a big orgy asque party on the beach.
Don't get sand in the bits, you know. I heard
that's kind of like, you know, unless you're looking to
you know, exfoliate your areas. Just saying, like I said,
never been, I don't. I'm definitely not Sondra, definitely not,
and very brave of her, though I can see why
you nick were that would turn me off someone like that,
and it does actually turn me off when a guy
is like, hey, you know, let's you know, it's.
Speaker 2: Just very very forward for a woman.
Speaker 1: I think it comes across this desperation a bit. And
you know, I remember my brother was dating a crazy
like fifteen shades of crazy, like fifty shades of gray crazy,
and I set up a movie night and I had
him watch Fatal Attraction and Single White Female, you know,
all the crazy women, and I even think he even
threw in some Lifetime Crazy Women movies and like showed
him a theme. And then I remember I think I
eventually said yours. Tops this so fixed that he's not
with her anymore, thank god, someone worse. But that's neither
here nor there. So I'm just saying. I'm not saying
that Sandra was Cray Cray, but I know for me,
if someone was sending off all the red flags, regardless
what they would do for me sexually, I don't think
I could. I don't think I could. I'm brave for you,
Metal Honor, Purple Heart, Nick, I salute you, but it's
a no for me, especially if you know.
Speaker 2: But I get it. I get it. I absolutely do.
Speaker 1: Am not saying no for you, but it always makes
me wonder when people fuck crazy and what goes into it,
because it's it's a no for me. What about you, guys,
I'd really like to know. I think this is a
good place to stop for today. By the way, I
know I'm late. I know I'm late on this, and
there's a reason. So in the middle recording yesterday, my
computer cord that plugs in from your power source into
the wall, it decided to like explode and melt onto
my wooden desk, So I had to wait for a
power cord to be delivered for the I don't know
if it was a bad cable anyway, So everything's fine
that I can tell. My power supply is fine. Might
think good fifteen ninety And if you look up a
price tag on it and I got the upper end one,
it's a three grand graphics card.
Speaker 2: It's fine, thank god. So that's why I'm late today,
and I apologize.
Speaker 1: I'm really busy, but you know I'm do not ever
want to see the big flash and melting plastic again.
Speaker 2: Smell that was quite scary.
Speaker 1: And in closing, Hello, lover, why don't you come over
and fuck me on this eight foot desk? You know
it can keep both of our wakes? What do you
think I really want to know? And until the next time,
ladies and gentlemen, have a fucking fabulous weekend.