Speaker 1: All right, let's get to meet Ball and Zen Masters.
They've launched their own team, the Gated Group. That is
a very good name. Nothing says no pores like a
gate a gate.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Well, we talked about Travis's balls. Let's do this real quick.
If his balls are the size of Fuji apples, let's
go to a doctor. If they're not, let's shut the
fuck up about it.
Speaker 3: Right, but I want to reiterate. If they're actually Fuji's,
we've got to go now.
Speaker 4: Okay, Hi loan, welcome another brands Bank, new episode of
bad TV.
Speaker 2: I'm dying. That is Patty.
Speaker 5: Great to be here.
Speaker 1: Brush off of Strawberry Macho Frappuccino. Go to Patreon dot
com slash into the podcast.
Speaker 5: Not drink it all?
Speaker 2: You did it?
Speaker 5: No, that's like third left.
Speaker 2: Good for you.
Speaker 5: I was feeling that sugar high.
Speaker 1: That's restraint right there. Ruby is joining us as well.
Speaker 3: Hi, guys, how are you Substack.
Speaker 1: Dot com backslash Gangs of New York Guys. Go to
patroon dot com Slash another podcast network to listen to
our breakdown of the Real Housewives of Miami. Get in
the comments, five stars, kind words, We love you, for
supporting the show also at Patreon.
Speaker 2: Bit of a Doozy.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if you listened to this one yet, Rubes,
but Patty learns about venmo I mean that was that
was a banana show.
Speaker 5: I think they've started listening. So I went on a
wine weekend. I laid my debit card down, paid for
everything the entire weekend. My wife sent out a text
to everybody that was part of the weekend saying this
is the amount that you owe us. And to say
that the reimbursements were trickling in would be an understate.
Speaker 2: It's a slow roll. It's a slow roll. Yeah, they're paying.
Speaker 5: I'm happy to report one more couple has in fact
reimbursed Old Patty.
Speaker 1: Well, we talk about venmo at, we talk about the
fact that you know, Patty has a I would say,
a sensible distrust of the cabal of credit. But also
I don't have a credit card. Patty hasn't had a
credit card in like two decades. So like I'm trying to,
I think we need to do like.
Speaker 3: Hold on everyone, stop, no, no, no, yeah, no, no, what
do he's literally he hasn't had a credit card, and
what do you mean, pat.
Speaker 5: Fifteen years, I, uh why cash everything? Well, two thousand
and four, I ran a credit card up to multiple
up to about twenty two grand I was and I
was making about eleven hundred dollars a year at that time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, that's what you call underwater, right.
Speaker 5: So when I started, uh started being a mover and
shaker in the pond cleaning uh space, I started making
some real dough paid off the credit card debt and
said never again. And so I actually do have a
credit card, but I don't. It was sent to me,
but I've never peeled the sticker off to use it.
Speaker 1: I think we got to do an APS episode where
we pick out a credit card for Patty because there
are some real beautiful and your credit's impeccable, so we
could really, we could really get into some really solid options.
Speaker 3: We are going to get you something like we're gonna
do like you're gonna redo your floors and oh yeah,
family to Hawaii for twelve hundred bucks somehow, and we're
gonna make that happen.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we love Oh, I can't really sparked nerve with
a lot of listeners. They jumped in there giving me
all sorts of financial advice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, well, pat you have impeccable credit. You're very
good with money. Now it's time we need to get
Patty in a Sam Jackson credit card. Okay, okay, Capitol
one is doing some incredible things.
Speaker 5: Hey, Sam, leave some money on the table for another.
Speaker 2: Actor to Seriously, these guys are so great.
Speaker 1: So listen a crazy episode of Orange County. I wanted
to present to you guys this question, who is a
worst person?
Speaker 2: Tamra or Jack's.
Speaker 5: Jacks is physically yeah, there's.
Speaker 1: That wrinkle, take the take the the the It's tough
because that's I know, I know, I know, I know,
but but but but you know Season one Valley Jacks
because now we know that he threw the rose bushes
and the tree trunk.
Speaker 5: I'll say this about tam Rat. She has to be
a miserable person on the inside because how she makes
a living and how she spends her time is one
of the more evil and dark ways of human beings
should live, which is how much dirt can I dig
up on someone so that I can ruin their life?
On TV?
Speaker 1: She she has got to be putting in at least
ten hours a week to that because she comes up
and Unearth's so much shit about everyone.
Speaker 5: Keep in mind she has people now that are super
fans that will send her ugh rat fucks.
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine, you know, being this. We used
to see these people that were just obsessed with you know,
let's just call him, you know, Schmadam kumshmola. You know,
it's like these super fans that will do anything. It's like,
what you do? Are you talking about for us? Yeah?
Oh yeah, it's like think you have a family with
the fun with you Ruby?
Speaker 5: What do you think about tam Ratt?
Speaker 3: I really think that she's not good. I think her
soul is not good. And I think she's gotten baptized
and that's still not good soul. I don't like her soul.
I think it's bad.
Speaker 2: Now. Now that's why I presented the question.
Speaker 1: Because Jax is uh bad person and a drug well
he has an anger problems. He doesn't have a drug problem.
And he did throw Britney into a rose bush and
called her stomach a tree trunk.
Speaker 3: And threw a table at her and hit her with it.
Speaker 2: Now that's that's all bad.
Speaker 1: But but I really do think that Tamra's soul, like
her soul may be more decrepit.
Speaker 2: Than Jackson's because Jackson's just is just dumb.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this was I was just gonna say, Tamra, I
think is a little bit smarter than Jack's. But what
I will say is two things, and they're both really
bad things to say. If Tamara were a guy, she
had one hundred percent be a domestic abuser.
Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And the moment that we had in the Valley like
last week or remember that was when Brittany was like,
why are you waiting so long to tell these papers?
Why would you wait to the last gap? Oh yeah,
he was like, just because I can't that I can
feel from Tamar, and they're very alike in that. So
it's just such a good question. It truly depends on
the week. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they're both among the they're in
the upper echelon of the worst people on Bravo. So
watching OC is a little bit tough sometimes because Tamara
brings such a dark energy to the show.
Speaker 2: But listen, we had Josh Flagg tonight.
Speaker 1: We had Heather Debro saying please God just make me whole.
We had Katie's stuff, we had Meatball selling homes to.
Speaker 2: You know, you know plus plus. I mean, there's a
lot of good stuff on this episode.
Speaker 5: How about that that birthday party.
Speaker 1: At at the end of the birthday party, Shannavador having
the most fun at the buffet.
Speaker 5: Wiener cocktails, and I just Terry, he can't stop himself. Dude,
you've been a multi millionaire for twenty five years. Yea,
why are you bragging about how much something costs?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, well he's stoned out of his mind. That's true.
Speaker 5: He is a stoner.
Speaker 3: Yeah, allegedly, No, he said he was.
Speaker 5: Oh good, he's a drug addict.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, well that's that's okay, all.
Speaker 2: Right, And here are all the things I put on
my plate. Now I'm going to eat them. I give
this episode one hundred tests.
Speaker 5: That's hundred. That is him attempting to be like a
common man, which he is not.
Speaker 2: He's a team. That was Shanna ba Door, that was Shannon. Yeah,
there's nothing all this stuff. What did you say? All
this stuff is healthy?
Speaker 3: No? She At one point I think she's like, and
this is all, oh, well, you're eating all the all
the I'm just going for all the fattening stuff. And
he goes, well, this isn't fattening, and she goes, I'm
going to take this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, h Shannon doing canopy yoga or hammock yoga.
Speaker 5: Whatever that was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just curtain title stuff, you know.
Speaker 5: I do one issue I have with Shannaba door when
she thinks she's firing on all cylinders. She's doing Abbott
and Costello, and I don't like it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I couldn't agree with you more, Pat, because the line
is so fine between like when she's so funny, she
doesn't understand that she's being funny, and then she goes
into the to the Abbott and Costello and you're like, God, I.
Speaker 1: Completely agree with you, guys, because you could see the
progression right in the beginning of the canopy at yoga.
Speaker 2: It was real, and then it started to get hammed up.
That's right, right. Anyways, I give it one hundred tits Ruby.
Speaker 5: You're going to give it one hundred tits.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, Pat, and I will be a little bit
more reasonable here. I thought it was strong. I thought
that I love hearing about all the work that people
get done. I love going to the doctors, especially when
they're not like making people sad. Nia Ernie's doctor. Excuse me.
The Veneers made me laugh. Tamor is dark, but she
forgot she's on a TV show sometimes, so when she
says like, yeah, Matt was yelling at me, and then
he's like, hey, come on, Tamra, like this is kind
of crazy that you're doing it, Like.
Speaker 1: It's amazing the first gear of just pathology that she's
in at all times, at all times.
Speaker 3: And you know what, I would venture to say, someone
probably knows is better than I do. It might be
pat like, has it gotten worse over the years or
has she just always been that way?
Speaker 5: I suspect she's probably been that way for a very
a long time. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever literally ever heard her say
something that wasn't some hyperbolic or fabricated ever.
Speaker 2: No, she's just a filthy demon liar.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's she's trash.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah.
Speaker 5: Tits eighty two tits Wow. Okay, So I did like
that Meatball is doing well in the real estate vertical.
She might start buying up some of those empty agency properties, you.
Speaker 3: Know, yeah, do it?
Speaker 2: Can you do a Mauricia.
Speaker 5: Call it Meatball investments?
Speaker 2: What can you do a Mauricio own pressure.
Speaker 5: No, I can't. I wish I could. Yeah, me too, Okay,
I liked it, so I liked that part. I also
liked that tam Rat brought Joe and Og. You weren't
watching watching the show back then, no one I predicted
that it was gonna be Joe that she brought. Gretchen
is probably friendly with Joe. They have not been a
thing in twenty years. Okay, clearly, as he saw them
see each other and greet each other when they entered.
But I did love the because this was not planned.
Tam Rat getting out of her car and going Katie, Katie,
how you doing, and then running over to her, Oh
I miss you baby, and then Katie knowing completely that
she's been behind the scenes trying to completely ruin her life.
And then Matt husband should never get into this, he's
another story. But yes, him confronting tam Rat and telling.
Speaker 2: Her life completely fine with him, We'll get.
Speaker 5: I don't like him because he's there's something up with him,
because he's with Katie. Katie is sketchy as fuck.
Speaker 2: She's also stunning.
Speaker 5: She is beautiful, sucking beautiful, I know, but guys, she
has a fucking kid that she doesn't raise on every
continent on the planet Earth. If she leaves this idiot,
she's gonna have to fucking go to the Moon to
find another place to plant that kid.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean she looks like an alien, So yeah,
I mean, I mean, yeah, Darkseide, welcome Katie Janella.
Speaker 3: I'm not kidding, No, she's she truly, she's one of
She's one of the most beautiful people I think we've
ever had on the franchise.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, you think so?
Speaker 2: How many tips fourteen?
Speaker 1: Last we left off, Katie Janella has a legally recorded
channing storms padour and this whole thing has been a
waste of a good dress according to Katie.
Speaker 2: Now Meetball.
Speaker 1: She storms out with Matt and Meatball wants to man
things with Katie and she's really bummed that Katie is
on the outs with this group. I don't know what
we can really say about. There are many times throughout
this episode where people feel remorse for Katie, and it's
true because she's She's concocted schemes and lied about every
single person on this show. So it's like, what, well,
what do you want these hyaenas to do to her? Like, yeah,
I mean it's bananas. But we have a guest arriving
at this party. Uh. Tamara is heading over with Joe,
and she is praying in the car with Joe and
Joe ushers or utters the prayer. Dear God, thank you
for bringing us together. It's amazing the level of delusion
you have to have to be piously going about some
of the most evil and corrupt behavior we've seen.
Speaker 2: In a low stakes way. Right.
Speaker 1: I know Hitler existed, right, right, But for Tamra to
pray as often as she does and be as disgusting
and demonic as she is, it's it's really quite a thing.
Speaker 5: Was an atheist, wasn't he?
Speaker 2: I think? So?
Speaker 5: You know, Dale probably covered this, but I just want
to point this out. So at this point in the episode, Uh,
I want to say that Gretchen and Jen and Katie,
who have nothing else in common, but have a common thing,
which is that they hate tam Rat. Tam Rat has
been the source of all their misery. Yeah, right, because
Jen is dating a con artist, right, she doesn't have
anything anybody. Katie, as I've mentioned, has every continent.
Speaker 2: On the planet, is an artist.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Gretchen's Gretchen's makeup artist is clearly blind or seeing impaired. Yeah,
but they all.
Speaker 2: Doesn't have hands.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, like one of those like mouth people with
the mouth, they use their mouth, maybe.
Speaker 2: They use their their their butt.
Speaker 5: But can I say when I wrote this joke, I
was drunk about the makeup thing. Why did I say
that about her? Did she take that?
Speaker 2: It looks like she's there's my.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my My question for the two of you I
was actually here is when you guys look at her face,
do you feel scared?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Can I tell you what I feel? I feel exhaustion.
Speaker 1: I think of how long that must take, and I'm
exhausted to think about every single day having an hour
or two on either side of that to put on
and take.
Speaker 2: Welcome to being a woman, Welcome to being Gretchen.
Speaker 6: Okay, I don't know that it's there's there's a level
though of like at one point in the episode, jenn
Is like, Orange County, you have to like get your
boobs done, get a tummy, chuck hap of spray tan,
and Veneer's like, got it beautiful, agreed.
Speaker 3: There's also though, another tier, I think, and I think
Gretchen has then taken that tier and she's gone four op.
Speaker 2: Oh, Ruby started cracking up.
Speaker 5: On the zooms there very it's interesting she's back both okay,
So I want to say something. As Joe and tam
Rat are headed over, we have Katie deciding to leave,
and that's when Heather to Bro who's always caring about
cast numbers and where they're ask her what's up with
the hot dog wiener in her throat? Now, if you
are a fan of Old Patty and the podcast, you
know that I hate hot dogs. I hate hot dog breath.
It's worse than red wine breath. And I've been a
victim of that. I hate hot dogs.
Speaker 2: I hate hot Those are those are two bad breaths?
Speaker 5: Yeah, the hot dog wiener one is it smells like
vinegar and a pig sad balls, you know, yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it smells like hot smush to meat.
Red wine does something odd to the back of the mouth.
It fromments back there again.
Speaker 5: I want to this is a warning for everybody out
there that's a red wine fan. Be conscious when you're
sitting down your second glass of red wine. Whoever you're
talking to that's in front of you, they're gonna feel that.
Speaker 1: And I would say if you're a just bring gum
or list ofene strips, it's more, you know, clandestine, and
you can end powerful. I would say really quickly before
we move on. You know, Gretchen does look like you
know those videos where they put a pattern across the
water and they dip like a guitar in it or
an in and that's what her routine looks like. But
I will say, I really do think that.
Speaker 2: Let's show her. I don't know her that well. I
remember her when she was younger on past seasons.
Speaker 1: She seems lovely in comparison, and I think that Slade
going through what he went through and still being as
jerry cheery as he is, I don't know, referring to
the death of his son, Yeah, I don't know what
would happen to me if that happened to me.
Speaker 5: So slay by the cast the first two seasons, bad guy, Well,
he was in the real estate game during the financial implosion.
Speaker 1: He was one of those mortgage peoples.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so can I can I just say something? And
this is this is what you just did with mentioning
the death of his I believe Grayson and may he
rest in peace. I had forgotten that he had passed away.
What just happened to me was when I pointed out
that Nicole was a doctor, and so now this just
like doesn't really work anymore. When he was on the
show before, he like because he was like pretty wealthy,
and he would talk about how in his I TMS
he was like, I mean, I think I made my
first million before I was. Yes, he was like, you
look at me, I'm in sales. I look like this,
I live behind the gates. He was a He was
a person that you and I would have hoped would
have gotten run robed violently by a gang.
Speaker 5: One of the early scenes of Real and It's what
was the found the base that got people watching the
show him buying a seventy thousand dollars chandelier with his
twenty two year old girlfriend Joe Time. Yeah, now a
little background on Joe dyl I think you know her.
She visited last season just for a moment. She left
the show to pursue a pop star career in la.
Speaker 3: You know her, right?
Speaker 2: Is that do Alippa? Is she do a Lippa?
Speaker 5: Never manifest?
Speaker 2: Never manifest shit?
Speaker 1: You know I missed the scenes where sheena she is
taking up studio space. I love those scenes.
Speaker 5: Oh, some bad news for Dylan and I. Season three
of The Valley green lighted Jack's out. Sena In is
a main cast member. Yeah, no, yes, and the Jack
sign was taken down. A guy did an Instagram video.
One of our the guy who owns the salon next
to Jack's came out and did a video of the
sign being taken down. He's like, thank god, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Are you being serious, she's actually a main cast member.
Speaker 5: Yeah. It was in people.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, God, damn man. You know sometimes people
levy the accusation that were mean, and I would say, yeah, yeah,
I would also say, if your job was talking about Cinache,
would you not be a little mean? It's like, what
would the best of us do? Resort to insanity?
Speaker 2: That's what the best of us would do.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm going to propose. I'm going to
propose this for all of the because I lost you
guys for a little bit there, but I believe that
you said that people were levying that we were mean
talking about dear old Ginashe. Here's what I'll I'll propose
to you, you leviers. We'll try to do an episode
where we only speak kindly I would love that.
Speaker 2: That would be really fun.
Speaker 5: That's like the Marvel universe now, that would be like
we are in a different dementsion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it
wouldn't make sense to anybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, who's that guy, doctor Oz? What's his name? Benedicta?
Speaker 5: I hate those movies so bad?
Speaker 2: All right, So.
Speaker 1: Tamara heads in while Matt and Katie are heading out,
and Tamra says, I don't know why you're being so
intense and angry at me right now.
Speaker 2: I've been nothing but nice to you.
Speaker 1: And Katie says, you called me a cunt last season.
The name calling seems to be more important to these
women than the defamation.
Speaker 5: It's a tough word. It really triggers a woman.
Speaker 1: I think it depends on the woman. But again, the
libel and the defamation is much worse.
Speaker 2: I think I.
Speaker 5: Want to give some advice to Matt, who I don't like,
because he's got something's got to be there. If you're
married to Katie, if you love your wife and you
don't want to have to move to the moon to
raise your son after she divorces you, get off this show.
Get her off this show.
Speaker 2: Yeah you think, yes, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I agree with that. I agree with that they shouldn't
be on the show because they should stay together because
she's too hot.
Speaker 1: Well, Tamar heads in with slaves x oh sorry one thing,
so they have their little fight here and Ruby.
Speaker 5: I'm curious of your thoughts on this, as I was
weighing in as just an outsider looking in at them,
going back and forth. It was definitely an expert versus
an amateur. It's a minor league versus major league. Tam
Rat lives the thug life, and you don't. You don't
come into her world at forty two and think you're
going to master this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. I agree.
Speaker 5: There's a scene in Carlito's Way. Have you ever seen
that movie? Sean Penn plays a lawyer who then thinks
he's going to turn a gangster, and then Carlito tells him,
you don't come into this world at later on and
become a fucking thug.
Speaker 1: We live the thug life. Yes, Tamra lives. Tamra's about
that shit.
Speaker 5: That's right, she invented it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The only way to defeats tameras to I don't know,
get Trump to conscript her.
Speaker 2: And send her to the Ukraine. Or something. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know the amount of times that she's referenced,
Like when she sees the house with Gina, she makes
another reference I think to some tournament or something with
Eddie not being there. Pat You're right, what is.
Speaker 2: He right about?
Speaker 5: Have you seen Eddie this season?
Speaker 2: Are they gonna get divorced?
Speaker 5: I think they're living separate lives and she needs a storyline.
Speaker 2: Okay, so Terry's baked out of his mind.
Speaker 1: They walk in with Joe. It doesn't do anything to
Terry or.
Speaker 5: I do want to give Terry some some stuff here
though he looks like his fucking face is falling off.
I fucking hate this guy, by the way, get yourself straight.
In the Facebook group, I didn't say I hated Heather McDonald.
I hate Heather Debrou. It was people conflating, all right.
Speaker 1: So Terry's baked out of his mind, and I love
bake Terry, but he is a little delusional.
Speaker 2: He goes, you know, maybe Tamor's change. She's probably just change.
She's in therapy.
Speaker 1: The Debros really do this pincer maneuver on on Tamra
where Heather asks them. I think it's later on in
the episode or it might be right here when oh yeah, Heather,
she goes, you can't just throw people out because they're damaged.
Speaker 2: Uh, depends on what kind of damage.
Speaker 3: Also, Heather, you throw people out who are perfectly not damaged.
Speaker 5: Do you know how many people Heather de Brow is
thrown out of her house?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And let's talk about it.
Speaker 5: She tried to throw someone out of a restaurant that
she didn't own. Once she told Kelly whatever the fuck was,
get out, She's like, ah, you don't own this.
Speaker 1: I say, I'll say it again. I miss Kelly Dodd.
I think in the post Trump world, this show could
have back then.
Speaker 5: Agree and a lot of people hate her though I know,
I know she was.
Speaker 3: A lot of people hate a lot of people. They
a lot of people also love a lot of people.
You know, world's about balance.
Speaker 1: I want to say that, did she say that she
was disgusted by black people or something?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 3: Did she?
Speaker 2: I think she got fired for being a racist, racist pig.
Speaker 3: She's obviously she's a piggish, despicable, horrific person, but she's
incredible and.
Speaker 5: She makes Heather debrou uncomfortable. I think Heather threatened to
quit the show if she wasn't off the show.
Speaker 2: You know, Kelly Dowd reminds me a lot like Cirque
de so Oline. There's just that you cannot negotiate with
that kind of terrorist. You're you're just gonna lose every time.
Speaker 3: What are you gonna look away?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, So, tam, I want to talk about throwing damage
to people out of your lives real quick. This kind
of this pseudo compassion that is complete bullshit from debreu
It just makes no sense. So would you categorize a
skin it's a frantic person, it's maybe damaged.
Speaker 5: I'd open up my thesaurus and find it.
Speaker 1: What about what about somebody with borderline personality disorder?
Speaker 5: Ruby, Why don't you weig in here?
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, my brain's fucking damage. Yeah, both of
those people have damaged brains.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So uh if if somebody's like act and all fucked
up and evil and stuff, but they're damaged, what are
you gonna be like, Oh, it's okay, you can keep
doing horrible things damaged, Like, can they get the fuck
out of it?
Speaker 5: Isn't that the basis? Sorry to make this political for
why we let a bunch of fucking homeless people do
drugs on the streets. Our cities have decided that something
happened to them.
Speaker 2: I'm getting very very political.
Speaker 3: I was just gonna say, it's like the Ted Bundeezer
and maybe whatever, like the serial killer thing. It's like
everybody constantly either says like they were either too spoiled
or they weren't loved enough. Well, a lot of people
were too spoiled. And people, Yeah, you guys are damn it.
Speaker 1: We don't all have freaking plastic drums of body parts
and fucking lie in our apartment.
Speaker 5: Why are see auditions of The Voice or American Idol.
Every fucking person's got a sob story. Yeah my grammy died, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, miss me with the bullshit. I would
sooner run over Tamra with my car than freaking be
nice to her.
Speaker 2: Okay. Heather gives a speech.
Speaker 5: Oh oh yeah, that was beautiful, and the Chiron under
the speech said, I don't mean eighty eight thousand dollars.
Speaker 2: I don't mean like run her over, like no, terminally.
Speaker 1: I just mean like a like a bump and you know,
like somebody's you know, blocking the water.
Speaker 5: We know what I'm saying there, all right, this party
was fifteen thousand at the most. It should have been
called tacky and dated.
Speaker 1: Well, my question was, and we learned recently of a
kind of per capital breakdown of a party on the valley,
that being Jesse one hundred and fifty thousand dollars party
for fifty two people. Were there eighteen people at this party?
Speaker 5: There was no one there, so there were seeing people here.
Speaker 3: That was more awkward than Tamra thinking that she was
going to like eat when she arrived with Joe and
Gretchen being like, okay, Joe, good to see you.
Speaker 5: Whatever, We're gonna buy that that I ran to you
at that store last week. No, oh, you didn't buy it.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, Oh I like your dress. Anyways, that that
was the That was the interaction. I think the only
other thing that was more awkward was the fact that
this was lit like an office and there were four
people there.
Speaker 2: You know what, it was like a trader Joe.
Speaker 5: So I always talked about my reality show that never aired.
I was asking the producers one time. They did this
bullshit where they go, all right, we need some people
in the background. So they hired extras for the day
and they put them behind us in the scene like
it's a busy like a sidewalk, right, And so uh
I asked the producers. We later used those same extras
to put in the background on one of the tour
buses during a different scene, and I said, uh, aren't
people there watching this gonna recognize those same people? And
he said nah. I said, uh no, I think they will.
Speaker 2: You know, it's so funny. I was. I was talking
to Uh.
Speaker 1: I was doing a pre interview with a guest on
another podcast the other day, and he said that he
was in this movie Over the Top right when he
was a kid, and he was just in Las Vegas
with Sylvester slo So he was a kid in Las
Vegas and one of the ads saw him.
Speaker 2: They were like, hey, we need do you want to
be in this movie? Do you want to be in
the background. They're like sure, and.
Speaker 1: They go, okay, go over there, stand by that tourism
booth in the hotel and just pick up the pamphlets
and look at them.
Speaker 2: And I was thinking about what.
Speaker 1: A ridiculous site that is, just two children planning the
itinerary for the day. But these people don't care. They're
just like, oh fuck, it. Nobody's fucking panic. I mean,
all right, let's get to meet Ball and zen Master.
They've launched their own team, the Gated Group. That is
a very good name. Nothing says no.
Speaker 2: Poor is like a gate. You know, we talked about
Travis's balls.
Speaker 1: Let's do this real quick. If his balls are the
size of Fuji apples, let's go to a doctor. If
they're not, let's shut the fuck up about it.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: But but I want to reiterate. If they're actually Fuji's,
we've got to go now, okay. And also, I'm actually
so happy for them. I was like, very ten dollars.
I was like, whoa Gina.
Speaker 5: Okay, So I did the math on the commission. That's
if her and Travis are, you know, double dip in there,
that's six hundred grand in a year.
Speaker 3: I think that's great. And to be fair, as we
all know, this was something she picked out of her butthole,
and she said, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna dedicate myself
to forget out of my casino.
Speaker 2: Good for me there.
Speaker 1: So it's amazing to watch all these fucking boomers walk in,
Oh fucking boomers.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Meanwhile, Jan and Ryan visit that veneers, right, Are we
okay to move on there?
Speaker 2: Deal? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Okay, so Jen gives us the muss halves to live
in Orange County. Yes, fake tits, uh spray tann hot body,
and then fake white teeth. Now I have to say
this because I've seen a lot of people walking on there.
There's a guy that does some podcast hear his teeth
are a little too white for my liking. Uh, It's
there's nothing more odder than seeing a seventy three year
old dude whose faces texture looks like grout and his
teeth are whiter than printer paper.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 5: It's a odd visual.
Speaker 2: Do you Why does your smile come with an organ?
You know? It's weird?
Speaker 3: That was it was on sale, so we had to
get that one. Yeah, that's like undercover cops. They say
that one of the hardest things to hide is nice teeth,
because if you're trying to be like an undercover weird zone,
like being a drug addict.
Speaker 1: Yeah yet till I'm gonna watch that a part of tonight?
Speaker 5: Can you git me that crack bowl?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 5: Ted, why do you have all your teeth? Me and
Tina we only have two?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we only have two.
Speaker 3: Okay, careful, quick question though, or a point of clarification.
I would like to say Jen's teeth before when they
showed that picture, fuck were lovely, Like, oh my god,
they were great.
Speaker 1: It's amazing, very amazing to see people who were one
hundred thousand dollars in the hole spend twenty thousand more
dollars that they don't have on things they don't.
Speaker 5: Wait if they think great teeth is what's going to
propel them into the top.
Speaker 1: Well, really quickly we bounce back and forth, but tamer
rehashes the gen asking her to meet and she's like,
Jen came up to me and it was like, uh,
we need to sit down, I need to say some things.
And it's like, Nope, not at all how that went.
Not at all how that went.
Speaker 2: You're an absolute Oh god, she's just such a bitch.
Speaker 1: So meatball drop the Who's the inspo for who? Debacle
and we get we get moving on.
Speaker 5: Well, I was gonna say, Caun, we at least, so
this is Jen and Ryan discussing Tamrat. Jen is going
to confront Tamrat. Did you just bring this up?
Speaker 2: By the way?
Speaker 5: Kind of okay, because she's jealous and at some point
she wanted Ryan, I don't know how much truth is
to that.
Speaker 3: What I will say is I can I can one
hundred percent see and hear the two of them working
out at the gym, and Tamra when she thinks that
this is her friend, being like, oh, he's super hot,
I'd fuck him, yeah, and then I can see that,
and then her being like, I've literally never fucking seen
that guy in my life. You are lying to me, Jen,
you are lying to my face.
Speaker 5: Okay, Well, I just want to touch on something that
Ruby had brought up. Where's Eddie? It's like, where's Waldo?
Here's Patty's prediction? And I have been on the money
multiple times. What's the we on now?
Speaker 2: In the miss Cleo of divorce?
Speaker 5: Thank you? Uh? This is a season nineteen right? Or
is this season twenty nineteen because Tamrat said you want nineteen? Okay,
season twenty one. Tam Rat and Eddie are separated and
that's the divorce.
Speaker 2: You know what make me?
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, I this is gonna sound mean, but
you know how they do those documentaries where they go
underground into the tunnels of Las Vegas.
Speaker 2: What if in a decade.
Speaker 5: You're talking about where the homeless people are.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what if in a decade we just Tamra pops up.
She's been living underground for a while.
Speaker 2: I mean, wouldn't that be great.
Speaker 5: I think she's got enough money to live to at
least eighty.
Speaker 3: She's also and I mean miss Lovingly, this is, you know,
fifty percent of my family. She came from trailer trash.
She will thrive. If she, god forbid has to go
back there, she'll be fine. Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, that's a good point. We want to see her succeeded,
don't we.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's get to the Debro house. We're co listing
with Flag and Altman. Heather has got a bloated budget,
a ula mansion tax, and she is trying to break
even on this home.
Speaker 5: And she's got the Joshes on the on this. And
here's the secret wisdom. I mentioned this before. If you
watch Millionaire Listing, Secret Wisdom of the josh As Cell House,
they list a price get this, and if it doesn't sell,
they tell the owners they need to reduce the price.
Speaker 3: WHOA, yeah it works.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean they tried another tactic, which is they'd
hire fire dancers and give free Mimosa's away, but that
didn't move the properties. It turns out reducing the price
gets some movement.
Speaker 1: I am confused about whether or not this is a
tough job.
Speaker 5: I think it is not. The only tough part is
being bored and making small talk.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that the most difficult part of this job
is probably getting the network, because you can't just go
start selling these homes.
Speaker 2: But once you schmooze enough to get the network, I mean,
it's got to be just printing money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I have to be honest. It is not.
I do think it requires I think a lot of
people think that it is, which is why everyone's like,
I'm hot, I can make small talk. I was a model,
I'm going to be a real estate agent. I have
a lot of high net worth individuals in my life. Okay,
go for it. It's much harder than you think. And
I do think it's.
Speaker 2: What's hard about it?
Speaker 3: What like truly like when you go and look at
properties and you have people who have been doing this
for twenty years that can speak to you about like
the way that like there's a different.
Speaker 2: Right you need to be armed, Like the language, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: And the feel it's like going to buy I would
imagine it would be like when you go to buy
a car from Jax Taylor in eight ish years in
either Florida or Texas, versus when you go to buy
a car from Arthur There you know, dan On van Eys,
who's been there for you. Yeah, next week, it's been
twenty five years getting.
Speaker 1: A car from Larry David. He says, the GTS stands
for Guaranteed Tremendous Safety.
Speaker 2: Okay, you know, and that's wrong.
Speaker 5: Here's what I'm gonna saying. And I never say this.
I know I'm not gonna insult any listeners by saying
that real estate agents are some of the dumbest people
I've ever met in my life. Because they're so dumb
they would not get this content. Real estate agents.
Speaker 2: Are Ruby Ruby wants to be a real estate age. No,
she does. She would be a good one too.
Speaker 3: I just gather my real estate license in every state
that I ever go to and live in so that
I can hopefully capitalize on it one day. I think
it's in also because I want to buy and sell
myself the properties big.
Speaker 5: Hec Then I recind anything that just came out of
my mouth.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, there are exceptions to every rule, but
I'm just yeah, go ahead, no, keep cooking, keep cooking.
Speaker 3: Some of them are also like, I don't think that
me and Matt James from the Bachelor have the same
level intellect. I hope that you can come smarter than him.
A lot of them are smart. A lot of them are.
Speaker 1: Today we're in Arizona eating some of the fluffiest pancakes
you've ever had.
Speaker 5: Okay. It attracts idiots that are calm people and just
creatures that are otherwise unemployable. Case in point, this was
ten years ago. An actor I will not say his name,
he's famous, he says, Matthew. I went over there and
helped with his water features. He's selling the house. He says,
this is I don't know. Her fucking name is Nancy
or something like that. She's like, does the electrical work?
And I said, uh, I don't know, but the gigantic
waterfall in this person's house works. Okay, she goes, so
does the electrical work or not. I'm not an electrician,
but on my end it's covered so when you plug
it in, when you get an electrician or work, I
don't understand what you're saying to me right now? Okay,
she has the contractor calling me and he goes, what's up?
Nancy said, desk, and I said, Nancy's a fucking knitwet.
It was her husband.
Speaker 2: Oh really yeah yeah yeah? Did you Oh you would
know better than you.
Speaker 1: Okay, dumb, Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, Well kind of
what fucking crew neck bullshit is that?
Speaker 2: Did you take my petit tros sweater?
Speaker 3: Okay, first of all, you can go fuck yourself. This
is a sweater from a lovely coffee shop in Portland,
Maine called a Tandem Bike shop, And it's.
Speaker 1: Actually I just want to make sure you're not stealing
my ship, not anymore.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's get to the house.
Speaker 1: We're we're we're gonna sell this house. And and my
favorite part about this was Heather slowly after.
Speaker 2: How long have they been building this house? Three years?
Speaker 5: Four years, something like that, paying the mortgage every month,
having to pay the property tax on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she goes, you know, it's just it, it
doesn't make sense for our family.
Speaker 3: Ah, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: Who could have fucking figured that a half a decade, Renna,
when your kids are in their middle teens might not
be the best thing to sink your time and money into.
My God, the commitment to being better than.
Speaker 2: Other people is a lot.
Speaker 1: It distracts you sometimes from common sense.
Speaker 5: If you know these two uh, these two assholes, there's
probably a tax reason that they fucking held this property.
Speaker 2: So Tamar heads into Daria's room.
Speaker 1: Daria is going to be going to community college and
then to the Musicians Institute.
Speaker 2: That's that's what you call.
Speaker 5: I wouldn't go to the Musicians Institute, or you can
light money on fire.
Speaker 1: I would say that's a bit of a lateral maneuver.
And and also the CC is not a prerequisite to
the m I. You can just go to the m I.
I think it's a you know, she wants general education.
I understand that, But you don't need general education if
you're if you're convicted about music.
Speaker 2: Okay, after what are you gonna do, Daria? You're gonna
go sit in a fucking world history class or an
algebra class.
Speaker 5: Well, come on, here's what I say. I went to
the Musicians Institute after I graduated college. I got a
recording degree there. I left early because I was smarter
than everybody. I went and got a job at a
recording studio. Six months later, I'm interviewing my teachers from
the Musicians Institute to hire them to work at a
recording studio. Yeah, do not go there. Yeah, take that money.
Speaker 2: Patrick is the Heather de Brow of this podcast.
Speaker 3: I would say just say wait, but Pat really quickly
take your champs. Yeah do you think? And maybe I
should ask still in this because I don't know shit
about music shit, but you guys are both Dylan, I know,
is very very talented when he was younger. I don't know,
You're obviously very good at music. It is are you
the exception to the rule? Like is Daria that good?
Or would Daria not be smarter than all of.
Speaker 5: The Daria can use her and time better than showing
up at Okay.
Speaker 1: I would say them, I is a little bit like
the trump University of the Music Schools. So so there,
you know, there's Berkeley, which is you know, the Harvard
of Music Schools and Julliard, and then there's cal Arts
and stuff like that.
Speaker 5: But for the money she would spend at the Musicians Intituo,
she could take private guitar lessons from Eddie van Halen,
although he's.
Speaker 2: Dead he's dead.
Speaker 1: But if he wasn't, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's dead though,
And then I would say, like the new fangled, you
know kids you know with parents that have obs seen
amounts of money go to USC so they can.
Speaker 2: Learn how to do logic. All right, So let's get
to another curtain.
Speaker 1: Hold fault, weltness, brick and mortar, it's hammock workouts and Shannon,
but dorm and what can you say? She has the
body function of a baby goat and uh.
Speaker 2: Is actually has the vocal quality of a baby goat
as well.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, ribs, I was gonna say, and Dylan knows
about me, and I'm trying to work on this actively
as a person. You arrived to something like a workout
class this late. You do not enter, you leave, you take,
you eat the forty you are no, no, no, no,
no no. You arrive to a movie you anything.
Speaker 2: I'm blown away by the movie people. The movie people.
I mean, I've seen forty minutes.
Speaker 5: It's very distracted.
Speaker 2: How do you even know what's going on? So you're
the dark room and the popcorn.
Speaker 5: Honeywe forty minutes, Like, don't worry, I'm gonna look it
up on Wikipedia. I'll read the plot. Does she die not?
Speaker 3: I hate you? Oh yeah, she was alive at the beginning,
by the way, and she's a witch.
Speaker 2: Big movie weekend for me. I'm so excited.
Speaker 3: Oh what are you doing?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go see Eddington. Yes, Sunday Final.
Speaker 5: They're finally dropping that fucking kid off at Grammy's house
and having a day.
Speaker 1: Well, Grammy is gonna come to our house and look over,
look over, Lucy.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna. I can't wait. You know.
Speaker 1: I called the Alamo. They said we only have it
till Thursday. I looked at my wife and said, I mean,
I'm getting out of the house. It's not a round
of golf, so I'm getting out of the all right, all.
Speaker 5: Right, let's move. I'm sorry because because we have blow
deck after this hit. Yes, we do start out at
fo what we have an hour?
Speaker 2: Dude, We're fine, No, we have forty five minutes.
Speaker 3: Yes, forty four, let's go.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're fine with Katie.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're not going to be done at for forty five. No,
we're not going to be done at for forty five.
All right, So back to the sheets. The amount of
we talked about Gretchen's makeup.
Speaker 2: It's so what a commitment.
Speaker 5: She only hires blind people.
Speaker 2: Uh, so, did you meet up with Kiki Monique? Okay?
Speaker 1: So we head to the Milligram coffee house and Heather
and Meatball are asking Katie if she met up with
the journalist known as Kiki Monique. Okay, and evidently she
told her something so disgusting that Tammer cannot even repeat.
Speaker 2: Now, what is to come of this? I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: I feel like it'll be a climactic thing at the
end of the season and it'll probably culminate. And Katie
actually did going to cool journalists Kikim Monique and Tamra
being kind of right about that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she knows, all. Yeah, I do want to bounce
back to the aerial curtain holding place. There's a point
where they put down tarot cards on the floor.
Speaker 2: Oh that's right. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 5: Let me say this about this business. And I hate
to be hard on small businesses, but this, uh, this
venture is going to close faster than a husband's laptop
when there's dwarf porn on it. You know, it's a
long it's a long joke.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, it's it's incredibly important to
one do that thing only in private. I mean, if
you're looking at dwarf porn, you know you need to
geolocate your wife two.
Speaker 2: Hundred eight miles away.
Speaker 3: I was going to say, that's the type of thing
that you do when they've called you from southern Georgia.
They've landed at Grammy's, you know.
Speaker 1: So now you can look at the dwarf porn. But
if we're going out to Galson's, let's be patient and
know that, despite it being a powerful siren song, you
cannot No.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's get to the dinner. Uh. Tamra starts with
the no, I need.
Speaker 3: To know we're not at the dinner yet.
Speaker 2: This is a yea.
Speaker 3: We got the little stupid run around where we go
to everybody's house before Dylan will think I'm crazy. Pat,
I don't know what you think. Parents who think it's
okay to let their younger children confuse their dogs, fuck you.
Speaker 2: Well, what do you mean? It confused their dogs?
Speaker 3: So so for the dog doesn't understand that when when
the child is holding it, that it's it's like, oh
I want to cross the street. I'm going to cross
the street. Is it sick. I'm on the leash, I'm
on a walk, I get across the street when Emily's
holding it, it's on the sidewalk, it's doing its job.
You can't do that to your funny, for your kids.
So don't be don't be a bad dog owner. And
it's very, very triggering. So aside from that though, Yeah,
we're at the so I might eat these words. But
I think, and I'm sorry Pat, we can punch each
other later. I think I think I love Katie's husband.
I think I might love him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, I love him too.
Speaker 5: You can't have two people that are that different. Katie
is a sketchy bitch, what do you pad?
Speaker 3: And I'm being genuine because I agree with you. She's
the most beautiful sketchy bitch I've ever seen. Why. I
don't think Matt is dumb like I don't think, and
I don't think Katie's like a siren that was like, ooh,
you know, so what's going on there?
Speaker 5: Well, i'd have a couple of questions, and forgive me
for I guess some female listeners that may have had
their children raised by the baby daddy. Katie doesn't have
one kid that's being raised by a baby daddy. She
has three, she has a ski actually passed where she
was quote unquote homeless. She also alleged a false police
report in which she was actually the person that did
the crime and had a civil action against her.
Speaker 2: Skeedu bitch.
Speaker 5: She's a fucking sketchy bitch. And if we're on the
third date and I go, Katie, I'm sorry, I'm having
such a great time. Yes, more and more?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 5: So your second kid is where where's your second kid live?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: He lives in San Diego. But that's not the first kid. Oh,
that one lives in yourself, Caroline. He got over that.
It's odd, it's odd, it's doctor Drew would say, it
takes a lot for a woman to not raise her
own kid. It just goes against everything evolutionary. Wise guys
shot out kids and fucking moved to Florida and never.
Speaker 1: Make up my favorite things that we do on this
podcast And I say we, but it's really just Pat
is bringing the expert witness of doctor Drew in.
Speaker 5: He did host Celebrity reh and to be fair to him,
only half the cast died of a drug overdose.
Speaker 1: All right, so this dinner Tamera starts with there are
plenty of other things I'd rather be doing, which is
a good start. Jen sits down and says, listen, we've
had some issues. You said the FBI rated My Home,
to which Tamera responds, you're the only one who can
say bad things now.
Speaker 2: We have a lot of people who work in therapy
and mental health. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm very confused by what tamret is because there is
no penetration that could ever be made. I mean, there's
no drill bit that can land any confession of harm.
There's no there There is nothing that you can say
to this woman now that will be heard or felt
in any She's almost sociopathic.
Speaker 5: Now, Jen, do you think she's naive in that she
thinks that she can make a breakthrough with this person
by basically saying you're a horrible person.
Speaker 1: I think she just wanted to have a scene, Jen
Din Yeah, I think there was. This was just like
an episode four kind of scene.
Speaker 5: I know Jen cheated on her husband and that's not good,
but we don't know what people's lives are.
Speaker 1: The grin that crawls like a caterpillar across this fucking
demon's face when she's in her talking heads.
Speaker 2: She's just such a horrible person.
Speaker 3: So this is what I have to say, and this
is bolded in my notes. Tamra is so dark and
fucking evil and a horrible bitch. I love watching her
act this way on national television because this is what
is for forever, so regardless of like everyone watching her
do this. And also I don't think that Jen last
season maybe she was like, this is like really sad,
like we were friends, Like let's read in now She's
like no, yeah, And it's.
Speaker 1: Crazy because Tamra doesn't like all of the hate that
she gets online, yet behaves this way. Anyways, get in
the comments let us know what we thought about the episode.
We'll be back next week for more Real Housewives. Join
us Patreon dot com, Slash another podcast network for Miami
a ps PMZ all the fun stuff. We love you
guys very much. I'm doing say goodbye, pat say goodbye.
Speaker 5: And share the show. By the way, tell people were awesome.
Speaker 2: Ruby