Speaker 1: A strange little man from Marge dropped down to the
earth from the stars, as if people would gape at
this weary little shape he screwing through little mouth about
the size of a grape.
Speaker 2: You won't know what you're missing if you go see Norwich,
transcribed from Hollywood.
Speaker 3: Nargia division of Fort Warner originators and world's largest manufacturers
of South defrosting refrigerators, Manufacturers of America's most modern automatic
and ringer washers, gas and electric ranges, water heaters and
home freezers. Norge presents the Red Skeleton Show with Red Skelton,
David Rows His Orchestra, Lorene Tunnel, Patickee and Vick Ryan.
Speaker 4: And Gene Theater.
Speaker 3: Will be me Rod O'Connor now the Star Wars program.
Red Skelton, thank you, good evening, Ladies and gentlemen. Hi,
you're ridd Say you look like you had trouble with
your income tax? Yeah, I got Claude Bob Barry yesterday.
Speaker 5: What's the difference?
Speaker 4: Hey?
Speaker 1: I tried to figure out my income tax all by myself,
and every time I got the same answer nineteen.
Speaker 2: Bushel, Why did gm A man do it for you?
Speaker 1: Ed? Well? I finally had to I went to one
of those tax experts, you know, one of the kinds
of the glasses.
Speaker 4: It always looks like he.
Speaker 1: Looks at you like he's saying you're hiding something on you. See,
those two forums have been fill out this year. They
got a picture of Alcatraz with a big question. Tell me,
didn't image and ravel things? All right? Oh yeah, he unraveled. Okay,
but now he's tied up.
Speaker 2: Not well, I hear your uncle pays a very high rate.
Speaker 1: How come Well, that's because this year he lost one
of his biggest dependents.
Speaker 2: It's too bad. What happened?
Speaker 1: The bartender passed on? Maybe i'm those income tax reports.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of trouble, you know.
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, ain't you glad you worked for me? Now?
Speaker 1: No no tax, no trouble, no income.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So you know, if you're interested, I have a friend
who knows way to say to you about fifteen hundred
dollars on your income tax.
Speaker 2: I'd like to see him.
Speaker 1: No, I can talk to him tomorrow. Visiting hours are
between one and four, don't Most people pay their tax
on time.
Speaker 2: But anybody who pays a month ahead of to get
a metal.
Speaker 1: Pend on him, they have to glue it on you.
Speaker 4: Nothing left the pen.
Speaker 1: I paid my taxes on time, you did, Yeah, one
dollar down fifty cents a week. Everybody should pay their
taxes with a smile.
Speaker 4: That's right, But they still want money.
Speaker 6: Trust.
Speaker 3: Well, my brother had a little trouble about his income tax.
He told the government he couldn't pay it because his
business was on the rock. Well, how's business now still
on the rocks? He's still there with It's also confusing
this year, ed, do you know what a curt tax is?
Speaker 1: Should have a special tact for a super deluxe tax
if you sort of have to address it formally. Tax
I found something else through a man and wife has
to make out a joint in return.
Speaker 4: I mean that both file separate.
Speaker 1: Incomes in one account. Yeah, they made a joint return.
She had, rubber lady, what's your definition of income tax?
Speaker 4: My definition?
Speaker 1: Well, I'll tell you something what I think you know?
I fill out the estimate tax.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I.
Speaker 4: Didn't sign my name to it.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: Now, I figured, if I'm gonna guess what I'm gonna earn,
let them guess who's earning it. Gene Canter things. Life
is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 7: I'm so in love. I know it's love, but life
is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave or taste.
Speaker 6: I want what you said.
Speaker 1: With my heart is life.
Speaker 2: I have the right to on a Sunday swing.
Speaker 7: Why if I put the trouble, I've blot like a bubble.
Speaker 8: Because life is about this.
Speaker 9: As my walk today and hurry, I say, look up, guys.
Speaker 4: Clear.
Speaker 7: I feel I was born this beautiful.
Speaker 9: Man, and I'm glad to be.
Speaker 6: Beautiful thing.
Speaker 7: I don't want to wait to sing or taste.
Speaker 6: I want what he.
Speaker 4: Says to sweet.
Speaker 7: Why if if the trouble, I don't mind.
Speaker 4: My father's like this.
Speaker 10: On my way to the bruise this day, the words
they see my tom with me, my smile at.
Speaker 7: The rolls, and somehow it not the same.
Speaker 10: Lessly something to.
Speaker 6: I'm like this.
Speaker 1: You mustn't see why if I took the troubles.
Speaker 9: I don't like my father.
Speaker 3: Because you wouldn't put up with a car that didn't
have a windshield wiper. Why should you put up with
a refrigerator that doesn't wipe away its own frost. Of
course you want a self defrosting refrigerator. Everybody does, and
for self defrosting, it it's fastest and finest. Take a
look at the new Norde Jet self defroster. This new
Norg melts frost so fast, even ice cream stays hard
in the big cross top freezer. And Norch doesn't depend
on arbitrary cycles to start defrosting. Norge defrosts itself every
night on schedule, whether you're at home to open the
refrigerator door or not. And Lorge defrosting is so clean,
no hidden grain pipes to clogger corrode. There are other
self defrosting refrigerators now, even some good ones. But wouldn't
you expect the originators and world's largest manufacturers of self
defrosting refrigerators. That's Nord, you know, to have perfected the
best system. Why not go over to your Norge dealers
and see see the new Jet south de froster. You
won't know what you're missing if you don't see Nords
from the skeleton scrap book up satire tonight we present
the circuit and one of the most colorful persons is
the Barker. So let's look in on baliverer Shagnasty, who's
on one of the side shows.
Speaker 1: Hurry, hurry, hurry, a Biggie signed show in the world
a sign can sent the only most unusual monsthropty inside
this tent. See the ubangi the only coil in the
whale who can seal a envelope after it's been dropped
in the letterbox. See the rubber Man who was captured and.
Speaker 4: Act for Ohio.
Speaker 1: He walked thirty thousand miles without a refrench. Sounds like
the rubber Man just had a blowout. Here he comes,
mister shack nasty, I'm quitting. I'll calm down. We ain't
stop bouncing up and down like that.
Speaker 3: Now tell me what happened, boy, I just had to
blow out. And it's a strong man's fault. Every time
he writes a letter and makes a mistake, he uses
me for an eraser.
Speaker 1: From the looks of that hole, he made quite a
few mistakes, so I don't feel too badly. You should
be willing to cooperate.
Speaker 4: After all, you can't walk out on the frinking.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm going, but I'll wait a minute.
Speaker 4: Foul who rescue the Night? This guy that tries it?
Speaker 1: Who rescued the Knight? My tongu get present on my ices.
I can't see what I'm saying, after.
Speaker 4: Who rescued the knight? Who rescued you the knight?
Speaker 1: Yes, guy writes another line like.
Speaker 2: That, he's going, I'm sorry, I'm going, I'll go with you.
Speaker 4: Don't wait a minute, fouls, you can't leave. Who saved
you the night?
Speaker 1: And the guy tried to wrap you around his rims?
Speaker 4: I did? Who introduced you to them? Pretty white sidewall tires?
Speaker 1: I did?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but I'm leaving.
Speaker 4: This is the only tint in.
Speaker 6: The world with the door on it.
Speaker 3: Well, see, now, what are you gonna do for a
star attraction?
Speaker 5: Shall I were premature train?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I let him go.
Speaker 1: I always thought he was a little synthetic rubber man.
Speaker 5: At that still got the tight wirewalker?
Speaker 4: No, he is.
Speaker 1: You see he had an accident.
Speaker 5: The wire was too tight and he won.
Speaker 4: Here comes the customers, stamp right up.
Speaker 1: But I'm ten cents see the biggest hint in the
world with nothing going on inside of her? Hell, how
many pleas?
Speaker 7: And I'm gonna buy a chickens.
Speaker 1: I want to see the boss. Well, your opticals are
fixed on him right now. I was like a job.
I'm sorry, but we don't need any steak drivers. I'm
a performer and you're fourteen?
Speaker 4: What I said you're fourteen?
Speaker 7: Oh no, I'm only certain one.
Speaker 1: I mean, what is your special thing? Oh?
Speaker 7: I do a jitterbug dance with an elephant.
Speaker 4: A jitterbug dance with an elephant.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and with g I shoes on.
Speaker 1: Hey, that's quite a novelty. Hey, buckethead, get some publicity
for this girl.
Speaker 4: What is your name?
Speaker 5: Flink hot?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 10: Are you?
Speaker 4: I shoes your buckethead?
Speaker 1: Get this out, notify all newspapers. Got the biggest novelty
of all times since the time I charged the diamon
to see a sleep on steak. Okay, see, I'll get
right on it. Yeah, you're gonna make a fortune.
Speaker 4: Now, what is an elephant?
Speaker 1: What your elephant?
Speaker 4: You know? That big rubber cow with two tails?
Speaker 7: You know you got none of the circus.
Speaker 4: Well none that's been dancing lately.
Speaker 1: You. Oh, well, I can teach them. I talked to
my mother and free lessons, and if I can teach her,
I can teach an elephant.
Speaker 4: Well, come on, it's over here.
Speaker 1: Carefully you don't clip over them looks. I'd just say,
get up, let me dust you up.
Speaker 7: Now over here's the elephant when they bite.
Speaker 4: Well, not if you don't fight. Three here, who'll get
this bucket full of water? We ain't get this morning.
We can't hit a queens.
Speaker 1: Gee, this is kind of thrilling. Well here you are,
come on drinking.
Speaker 2: It's rot spetition.
Speaker 4: I'm just trying to give it to his suitcase.
Speaker 1: Then let me give it to him in you are,
come both drink that.
Speaker 4: Oh he's pouring all over me?
Speaker 3: Did that to me?
Speaker 2: I tie here?
Speaker 7: Snooping enough? Oh it's all over me? Now I told
you what I do.
Speaker 4: There? That will take you?
Speaker 1: What heaven? I can't breathe well, no, wonder he's died.
You're snooping or not? I'll take he don't hit that elephant.
Look out, he's gonna roll over on you. Yeah, come
on here, get up off of her, Get off off
of it.
Speaker 10: Come on, get up.
Speaker 4: You're all right, lady. I guess so good.
Speaker 1: Heaven, look at you. I'm gonna make a fortune. Step
right up, folks, the dme fen say see the human pancake.
Speaker 9: Going chapter thirty three, The circus comes to town. When
the circus hits a small town, it brings out all
the citizens, especially Clem.
Speaker 5: The fellow from the country.
Speaker 10: There's something about a tailor. There's something about a sailor.
There's something about a sailor that is blonde, blonde bon well,
he's tasting rainbows and tasting anything.
Speaker 4: It's got curves. Boy on my way to the circus. Boy,
I wonder if that bearded lady fill with him, or
maybe he joined the Marines banws Well, I hope they
don't offer me a job with the circuits. The game
to be the dog face boy.
Speaker 1: Everybody knows I ain't a boy no more.
Speaker 4: That has a circus train unloading. Oh there's old flim pickings.
Speaker 2: Th Hello, clam, howdy howdy.
Speaker 4: Is quite a big show in it.
Speaker 2: I'd like the circus I was with.
Speaker 4: You, was with a circuit boy.
Speaker 6: I'd like to have a job with one.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was just talking to the manager and he
says they need a lion trainer.
Speaker 4: They do, looks like they still need one.
Speaker 2: They're not strong.
Speaker 1: If you just pretend you don't see them, they'll run away.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they'll run probably tell the other lines what they
found for dinner. I'd rather be a clown.
Speaker 3: Already got something there so you could save money. Oh well, clown,
spend five and six dollars a month for makeup.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't need any.
Speaker 1: Oh, I wouldn't say that because I sleep on my
face at night. Keep them staring the covers all the sudden.
Now you ain't seen no grotesque boy, you ain't seen nothing.
Speaker 4: You want to see something else.
Speaker 1: Get a hold of this girl that's walking to this way,
probably little freaks with the shoulder. Well how you play?
I am?
Speaker 7: Why are you always so surprised to see me?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I can never remember who you are?
And don't you speak?
Speaker 1: Where have you been waiting at home for you?
Speaker 4: Well, it wasn't my fault. I took a street car.
These and the things set there for three hours. It
didn't move.
Speaker 1: They didn't move.
Speaker 7: Yeah, didn't the passengers complain?
Speaker 4: No, a bunch of dope. They gets set there drinking
and eating corporie.
Speaker 6: Lay.
Speaker 7: That was a lunch wagon.
Speaker 4: It was well, no wonder the conductor gave me a hamburger.
Speaker 7: You get any free passes to the surface yet, No,
I ain't tried to get a job.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna travel them.
Speaker 7: Oh, now you couldn't get a job with the church.
Is your way unusual enough? You gotta have three heads
and twenty toes nowadays three heads and twenty two yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh, get my look, three toes shorts.
Speaker 2: That guy motionally with that over there back out of
the trucks are coming.
Speaker 4: Oh hey, what kind of an animals do this? And
that truck there?
Speaker 1: There's a sign on the side t I c s chickens.
Speaker 4: Oh them pretty mean? When things are.
Speaker 1: All right over.
Speaker 4: A wait a minute there, yeah, yeah, git a minute.
Speaker 2: I'm slim pickens and beb. Kelly asked me to find
him a lion traighter.
Speaker 5: Well there he is.
Speaker 7: Oh clam, you ain't going in okay to the lion
are you? Are you not brave?
Speaker 4: I'm as brave as they come. And when they get there,
I'm going.
Speaker 1: I've been rehearsing on how to hypnotize animals, you know,
I got them all figured out.
Speaker 4: I've got everything on the farm square to me.
Speaker 5: Man, it comes to man at you now? I missed
the island.
Speaker 4: Yes, what is it? I don't make it a half
to speak into the help of what is?
Speaker 5: Well? This fellow wants a job as a lion writer.
Speaker 4: I ain't had no experience.
Speaker 5: Oh that's quite all right.
Speaker 4: The lines won't know all the difference to them.
Speaker 1: A man's a man.
Speaker 4: Well, how much do you pay? You had a laugh there,
but she stepped right on it.
Speaker 2: You have no sympathy for you?
Speaker 1: Now, Well, I paid ten dollars a day of funeral expenses.
Speaker 4: That's a cheerful way of looking at I won't let
you do it.
Speaker 7: It's all right to be silly, but you overdo it.
Speaker 4: LI ain't afraid them. Lines won't scared me. They can't
get any scareder than I am. Right.
Speaker 1: I don't come over to the line wagon. I'll let
you get inside with them. Social be use of them
by showtime. You know you getting time to digest me
before showtime.
Speaker 4: That's too fast burying, Sam.
Speaker 7: Now I'm a warning you. It's their lions to you
in a little bit.
Speaker 5: So one part.
Speaker 7: If you come over to my house for sympathy.
Speaker 1: Well out that you're away from the crowd. That line
you're going to work when he's seventy five years old, Oh,
he says, gentle as a baby, and here we are.
Speaker 4: Or you believe you're gonna make friends with me? I
do hope he did?
Speaker 7: You, Maam, I beg you not to go in that cage.
Speaker 1: Here's your whip, and here's your gun. Now just let
him know you're not afraid. Now, go ahead and don't
push me away. Don't poost me.
Speaker 2: Here here?
Speaker 5: Did you scratch your arm?
Speaker 4: Well, either that or I was vaccinated with a rake.
Speaker 2: Well, don't let him know that you're afraid. I'm doing
my best behind a very convincing liar.
Speaker 4: Boy. Here, I'll set upon.
Speaker 1: Come on, set up, let up, or I'll hit you
in this rip.
Speaker 4: Come on, fuck you away? He stopping. I'll set up,
but give me my whip.
Speaker 1: Fire, Sam, You got him convinced that you're not afraid.
Speaker 4: Good.
Speaker 1: Now here's the act you do. First, you stick your
head in his mouth. Then for a non car you'll
let the lion stick his.
Speaker 4: Head in your mouth. Well my mouth ain't that big.
Speaker 1: By then it won't matter.
Speaker 4: Get away from that, get away? Oh you boy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm here trying out the new boy for that
act with old Goliath.
Speaker 5: Hey, that ain't Goliath, that's a new lad.
Speaker 2: Goliath died last night.
Speaker 1: Oh he tells me, open the door.
Speaker 4: I take it easy.
Speaker 1: Now, don't let him know you're afraidt you in the
nose that you're fIF Okay, Well, I'll hit you with
my left hand.
Speaker 4: Oh well, he's right with my pones like.
Speaker 2: The the flying horse.
Speaker 3: And now for that weekly homemaker hint from Jane Masters,
co director of the Norge Home Economics Department.
Speaker 1: Here's the good kitchen trick. Put a damp towel under
your mixing bowl. It anchors the bowls to the table,
so you have both hands free for mixing.
Speaker 3: That reminds me of how Norde refrigerators free both hands.
When you want to put things into the big crosstop freezer.
The door drops down as a handy loading shell and
what a load up to fifty two and a half pounds,
and then you jet self defroster plus more space in
the ChIL tray below. Then there's a big meat keeper
deep enough for a Sunday rose and a full with
crisper with removable dividers, really three crispers in one. There's
a regular pantry of adjustable movable shells. Even the door
has shells. What's an egg neat and the four temperature
butter bank. What's more, you're through with defrosting from now
on for this new Norge jet self depfrostered does it
for you every night in mere minutes see then new
jet models at your Norge dealers, won't you, for you
won't know what you're missing if you don't see nords.
All children love the excitement of the circus, the taste
of lemonade, the animals, the clowns. And no child loves
the circus more than Junior, the mean wittle kid.
Speaker 7: Hey, mummy, what you I'm sweeping up around here? Oh goodness,
I don't see how one child to get a place
so dirty.
Speaker 1: It ain't easy, but I put my mind to you.
Speaker 7: It would be so glad when you grow up.
Speaker 5: Thank goodness.
Speaker 7: There's only one like you.
Speaker 4: Mummy.
Speaker 1: Where did I come from?
Speaker 7: I won you on an iron claw machine?
Speaker 1: Play okay, okay? Oh here's that mister Fowler. That's next,
big fat man?
Speaker 4: Oh what ol'd connor?
Speaker 1: I think I'll go play.
Speaker 4: Hell Hello, Hello, Hello, yeah, hello, gang.
Speaker 2: He's so fat.
Speaker 1: He'll be What are you got your thumb bandaged up?
Speaker 2: For something wrong with it?
Speaker 1: No, there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 2: Well, if there's nothing wrong with your thumb, why do
you have a bandage?
Speaker 4: Well, you never know when there might be something wrong.
Speaker 5: As Junior is your mother at home?
Speaker 4: Yes he is?
Speaker 1: And sure it's pop is she gonna take you to
the circus?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, would you like us for for us to take
the circuit with the pincliminade and the cotton candy? What
the elephants in the clown?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: Craty do it?
Speaker 4: Nor saw that?
Speaker 1: Yes, you wouldn't walk across the strenky seems taking. I
might go, though, say when's your shirt? It's gonna be?
Speaker 4: What's here?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 6: He is?
Speaker 4: You?
Speaker 1: Say, mommy, mommy that Junior?
Speaker 4: Is this only if you don't call me your little
boy anymore?
Speaker 7: What's wrong with you?
Speaker 4: Already sound and you're telling me you're yet?
Speaker 7: Oh south Prime, Junior.
Speaker 1: I hope the short brings a hundred littlekis just like me,
six at a time.
Speaker 4: Six. I hope the storks come over.
Speaker 1: In battle formation, Junior.
Speaker 7: I was going to surprise you and take you to day.
Speaker 1: You okay, you don't let's go.
Speaker 7: Come on, come on, my Junior, and let god don't run?
Walk slowly like a little gentleman.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Tiggs, Oh what a nice little boy?
Speaker 2: How old are you?
Speaker 1: No, I'll never see one again, Junior. I'm going to
be born Friday.
Speaker 4: I am.
Speaker 1: Since you're not sticking me into playing, boy, you're not.
Oh you look this man and the nixt door and
all these relatives. Look at that, darling. They are elephants. Yeah, no,
wonder pop runs and hides. Boy, do you want to
feed them?
Speaker 5: Fina?
Speaker 1: Not me?
Speaker 7: Boy, you're not afraid?
Speaker 5: Are you?
Speaker 7: Last year?
Speaker 1: Well? Yeah, in the year before that, I hate from
a bottle, but I don't do it. Now. Look at
him off the trans phony. What's matter? Boys?
Speaker 5: Can you pay your income tax? So the zebras zebra, that's.
Speaker 7: What they did for not playing at tax I knew
the junior.
Speaker 2: Shall we go inside and see the birds?
Speaker 1: No, I want to go see little Egypt taking guy junior,
Wait a minute, will you? I wanted to say, I
want to go see little Egypt. Shake it up, mummy,
or we'll.
Speaker 4: Be lame.
Speaker 7: Hippopottamus.
Speaker 1: Oh that is a hippopotamus. And you look at the
keeper standing pretty toasted a hip post more.
Speaker 7: What's that look on your face? Have you been up
to some mischief?
Speaker 1: No, mummy, hippe you make me laugh.
Speaker 4: You don't move in the pool.
Speaker 7: You know what's so funny about that?
Speaker 1: I should have shot with both hands.
Speaker 7: Now, look, young man, you're being just a little too fresh.
Speaker 1: I didn't even hit your arm. I hit your back.
But it ain't one thing, it's another.
Speaker 7: Give me your hand, go walk to our seat.
Speaker 1: Okay. Oh look at that heat with a big catch
with freckles on him. But he walked back and forth.
He probably went out.
Speaker 4: He nervous.
Speaker 1: He come on, kidd, he come on there now, you
get the marr cat here.
Speaker 5: Come on, let's go.
Speaker 4: Mummy.
Speaker 7: Why did everyone clear out of here? I can't understand it.
Speaker 1: We can't, can't we?
Speaker 4: Hey, look what's following us?
Speaker 7: Oh isn't that a beautiful tiger?
Speaker 2: Hurry, mummy, hurry he.
Speaker 5: Did?
Speaker 1: He hurts you out now, but we can run fast enough.
Speaker 2: Cooint you got me open.
Speaker 3: This is ron O'Connor saying, remember in refrigerator's, home freezers,
gas and electric ranges, washers and water heaters. Everything Norge makes,
Norge makes right. Make the special point of stopping at
your local Norge deers and asked to see the newest
Norge refrigerator, the beautiful jet self defroster. See how this
new Norge defrosts itself automatically every twenty four hours, so
fast even ice cream stays hard.
Speaker 2: See how dollar for dollar.
Speaker 3: A Norge refrigerator offers you more in space and convenience
and in built quality.
Speaker 2: And now until next week, this is.
Speaker 9: Red Skelton saying thanks for listening and reminding you that
you won't know what you're missing if you don't see Norge.
Speaker 2: Join us again next week for the reds Golf Show.
That's golf.
Speaker 8: Has heard these programs with the Curtesy of Metro Golda
Mare Studios. Thisre's a copyrighted peak there Class five from Hollywood.
Speaker 2: This is the CBS Radio Network.