WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:02.839 Unfortunately, I have a little bit in common with her, 2 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:05.400 and we're part of a club that's not the most 3 00:00:05.400 --> 00:00:07.679 fun club to be a part of, and it is 4 00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:11.480 a club of parents who's went to a hospital to 5 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:14.279 have a baby, only to leave without the baby because 6 00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:17.199 the baby needed to spend some time in the neonatal 7 00:00:17.239 --> 00:00:19.920 intensive care unit otherwise known as nick You. 8 00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:22.600 For me, it was just twelve long days. 9 00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:25.359 For my guest, it was one hundred and forty seven 10 00:00:25.480 --> 00:00:28.160 long days. Stephanie Hawser, welcome to the show. 11 00:00:30.440 --> 00:00:32.359 Oh, thank you so much for having me. And I'd 12 00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:34.600 love to say, you know, any amount of the time 13 00:00:34.640 --> 00:00:37.039 in the NICKU is really long. You know, it can 14 00:00:37.079 --> 00:00:39.000 be one hundred and forty seven days or even just 15 00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:39.560 two days. 16 00:00:39.799 --> 00:00:40.200 Well a lot. 17 00:00:40.439 --> 00:00:43.280 Tell me about your son. What happened? He came in 18 00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:44.520 very very early. 19 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:49.759 Yeah, So in twenty nineteen, our son, zeb was born 20 00:00:49.880 --> 00:00:53.439 at just twenty three weeks, just stationed just over halfway 21 00:00:53.439 --> 00:00:56.799 through pregnancy. He was given less than a one percent 22 00:00:56.880 --> 00:00:59.920 chance of survival through birth, and as time went on, 23 00:01:00.039 --> 00:01:02.359 and you know, he was given a ninety five percent 24 00:01:02.520 --> 00:01:06.280 chance with all the complications of being born so impossibly early, 25 00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:10.200 ninety five percent chance of never walking, never talking, never 26 00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:11.640 eating or breathing on his own. 27 00:01:12.040 --> 00:01:13.599 They expected that he would be blind. 28 00:01:13.879 --> 00:01:17.840 These are all very typical outcomes of babies born so early, 29 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:22.599 and and Zev was just a miraculous case. From go 30 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:27.000 he came out rying on no lungs, and from there 31 00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:28.519 we knew he was stronger than we thought. 32 00:01:29.840 --> 00:01:33.840 One hundred and forty seven days. I can't even imagine 33 00:01:33.840 --> 00:01:35.319 how much did he weigh when he was born. 34 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.560 Veev weighed one pound four ounces at birth. He was 35 00:01:40.599 --> 00:01:42.920 small enough to fit into the palm of my hands, 36 00:01:42.959 --> 00:01:45.879 so if you can believe it, he was so tiny, 37 00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:49.599 but he was a fighter. And through our time in 38 00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:51.599 the Nick, you note, through those one hundred and forty 39 00:01:51.640 --> 00:01:54.519 seven days, that can be a really hopeless time. You know, 40 00:01:54.680 --> 00:01:56.760 that's a place, just like you said, you know, the 41 00:01:56.840 --> 00:01:59.400 Niki is really hard, no matter how long you spend there. 42 00:01:59.480 --> 00:02:01.359 It's full of two things at once. 43 00:02:01.480 --> 00:02:03.920 It's the best place you can be for the care 44 00:02:03.959 --> 00:02:06.359 of your children and the hardest place to be as 45 00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:09.280 a parent watching your child go through such hard things. 46 00:02:09.319 --> 00:02:12.159 And for us, you know, those one hundred and forty 47 00:02:12.159 --> 00:02:12.800 seven days. 48 00:02:12.639 --> 00:02:15.159 We found hope in just believing that no matter what 49 00:02:15.400 --> 00:02:17.439 came from Zev's extreme prematurity. 50 00:02:17.759 --> 00:02:20.800 You know, whether he lived or died or never, never, never, 51 00:02:20.879 --> 00:02:21.599 we would. 52 00:02:21.319 --> 00:02:25.159 Stand in a place of belief that whatever came from this, 53 00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:28.439 we would experience a big and full and beautiful life 54 00:02:28.439 --> 00:02:31.759 for him, whatever that life looked like, and that we 55 00:02:31.960 --> 00:02:34.719 as his parents would experience a big and beautiful life 56 00:02:34.759 --> 00:02:37.400 for ourselves too. And now we bring that same hope 57 00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:40.159 and healing and possibility to other families who are experiencing 58 00:02:40.159 --> 00:02:42.439 the journey of the Niku through for those are nonprofit. 59 00:02:42.599 --> 00:02:44.879 And I will tell you, it is the scariest thing 60 00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:47.960 ever to walk in to. And you've just had a baby, right, 61 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:49.960 And if you're the mom, you've just had a baby, 62 00:02:50.439 --> 00:02:52.520 you feel like you've just had a baby. And then 63 00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:56.039 you see this this little human that you've created, and 64 00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:59.360 they're attached to fifty million wires and there's tubes, and 65 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:02.599 there's an IV in their foot, and it's just the 66 00:03:02.599 --> 00:03:06.840 most incredibly overwhelming experience. And like I said, I only 67 00:03:06.840 --> 00:03:08.639 went through it for twelve days. And because my daughter 68 00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:12.120 was almost full term, she was just in fetal distress, 69 00:03:12.199 --> 00:03:14.360 so we delivered her a couple weeks early. She was 70 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:18.240 this ginormous eight pound baby in a room where I 71 00:03:18.319 --> 00:03:20.680 started calling them teacup babies. I would have referred to 72 00:03:20.680 --> 00:03:23.120 your son as a teacup baby because they look like 73 00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:27.240 they could just fit into a teacup. So tiny, so 74 00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:30.439 so tiny. So there's all these machines, yeah, and you 75 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:32.840 don't know what they do, and it's just there's so 76 00:03:33.319 --> 00:03:36.560 much and I would have loved anyone like you to 77 00:03:36.599 --> 00:03:38.000 be able to help walk us through that. 78 00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:39.879 So tell me about four those. 79 00:03:40.919 --> 00:03:44.800 Yeah, I think you know exactly what you're saying. You know, 80 00:03:44.840 --> 00:03:48.039 the shock of the niku can be really intense for people, 81 00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:51.240 especially when you have these little you know, we call 82 00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:54.560 them micro premies babies born before twenty six weeks. They 83 00:03:54.759 --> 00:03:57.199 have all of these machines hooked up. You're not quite 84 00:03:57.199 --> 00:03:58.000 sure what's going on. 85 00:03:58.400 --> 00:03:58.599 You know. 86 00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:01.360 We couldn't hold Zev for month, you know that, And 87 00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:02.039 even when we. 88 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.719 Did, it was so touch and go. You know, Zev was. 89 00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:08.639 Going through so many different ups and downs and highs 90 00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:11.240 and lows, and we just kept holding on to that 91 00:04:11.400 --> 00:04:13.960 hope that whatever came next, we could walk through it. 92 00:04:14.439 --> 00:04:16.879 And when we were there, you know, on one of 93 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:19.199 his worst nights, that was when we sort of decided 94 00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:21.759 we're going to create the place that you know, there's 95 00:04:21.800 --> 00:04:24.959 so much narrative in the Nicku around what could happen, 96 00:04:25.160 --> 00:04:27.800 you know, what would happen to your children, you know, 97 00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:30.040 your child, your children being hooked up to all these 98 00:04:30.040 --> 00:04:31.600 things and all these different outcomes that can. 99 00:04:31.480 --> 00:04:32.879 Feel really scary and lonely. 100 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:35.160 And what we're doing with for those is telling a 101 00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:39.560 new story around extreme prematurity. We are saying, hey, however 102 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:42.399 this road goes, you're not alone, and when you come 103 00:04:42.439 --> 00:04:44.600 out of here on the other side, we're going to 104 00:04:44.680 --> 00:04:46.639 be here to walk you through it and to catch you, 105 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:51.360 to help provide that same hope, healing impossibility through for those, 106 00:04:51.399 --> 00:04:54.920 you know, through our programming, we do you know, a 107 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:57.319 nick You family day out every year, which is basically 108 00:04:57.399 --> 00:05:00.160 like a mini fair. You know, there's a train and 109 00:05:00.360 --> 00:05:03.439 ponies and petting zoos and face painting and all these 110 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:06.240 fun things for kids. Because what we found was Zev 111 00:05:06.399 --> 00:05:10.160 after all this impossible narrative, to watch him do these 112 00:05:10.600 --> 00:05:14.160 really incredible little kid things, you know, it just brought 113 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:16.160 so much healing to us as his parents. 114 00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:18.079 We had made it through such a hard season. 115 00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:20.879 We're here to celebrate that with other families, to provide 116 00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:24.480 memories and these wonderful places for them, where the whole family, 117 00:05:24.519 --> 00:05:27.680 siblings included, to live out the big story after the 118 00:05:27.759 --> 00:05:30.319 niqu And then for parents. You know what we found 119 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:32.839 when we came out is where do we put all 120 00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:35.480 these feelings that we had, these highs, these lows. 121 00:05:35.519 --> 00:05:37.199 It's emotional whiplash in there. 122 00:05:37.319 --> 00:05:40.439 You know, how do we sort of give these parents 123 00:05:40.439 --> 00:05:42.920 a place to heal too, to say we've been through 124 00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:45.639 this big journey, we have fought for our children against 125 00:05:45.680 --> 00:05:48.720 impossible odds. Where can I go to start believing in 126 00:05:48.759 --> 00:05:51.480 a big, beautiful future for myself as well? 127 00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:52.680 I am. 128 00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:55.399 On my daughter's first birthday, we took her and we 129 00:05:55.439 --> 00:05:58.319 took lunch to the to the nurses of the NICU, 130 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:00.399 like we just went back to the hospital. And by 131 00:06:00.439 --> 00:06:02.800 this point, I mean, well, we left the hospital with her. 132 00:06:03.000 --> 00:06:05.560 We were told and you know what, I understand the 133 00:06:05.560 --> 00:06:07.920 medical system, I get it, but they just give you 134 00:06:07.959 --> 00:06:10.839 the worst case scenario. They literally tell you the worst 135 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:14.319 things that can happen, so your expectations are managed. 136 00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:16.399 So we leave the hospital being told. 137 00:06:16.279 --> 00:06:17.959 We don't know she's gonna walk or do any of 138 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:21.000 these things. And I cannot even tell you how normal 139 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:24.600 my daughter is, right now. So obviously he's fifteen now, 140 00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:27.279 so obviously none of that panned out. But we went 141 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:29.600 back and took lunch to the nick You nurses and 142 00:06:29.720 --> 00:06:31.879 two of them started crying. They said, we never get 143 00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:34.040 to see the babies who do better. So it was 144 00:06:34.079 --> 00:06:36.560 like a really for us. It was just a way 145 00:06:36.600 --> 00:06:37.959 to say thank you to the people who are so 146 00:06:37.959 --> 00:06:41.800 important our family. But this, what you're doing sounds like 147 00:06:42.279 --> 00:06:45.240 it's so needed to just be able to get your 148 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:47.759 questions answered by people who have been through it before. 149 00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:50.720 I mean, what a great thing you guys are doing. 150 00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:53.759 Let's talk about the movie though. Now you're a movie 151 00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:56.639 star too, Stephanie, you're just doing it all. 152 00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:58.120 Tell me about one forty seven. 153 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:03.839 So one forty seven, so the backstory of one forty seven, 154 00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:05.720 that's a documentary that we have about now by. 155 00:07:05.639 --> 00:07:07.040 Our friends at Farsighted Creative. 156 00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:10.600 So one forty seven came about when we started for those, 157 00:07:10.639 --> 00:07:13.519 I thought, okay, what can we do to bring attention 158 00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:16.879 to this really the long and hard journey, but the 159 00:07:16.920 --> 00:07:19.800 beautiful journey as well that it is encapsulated in the 160 00:07:19.879 --> 00:07:22.720 nick You And so I thought, okay, so we're launching 161 00:07:22.759 --> 00:07:25.079 for those, how do we bring awareness to this. How 162 00:07:25.079 --> 00:07:26.720 do we raise money for this? And I thought, okay, 163 00:07:26.800 --> 00:07:29.319 I can I can run. That's one thing I can do. 164 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:31.399 So I thought, all right, why can we do to 165 00:07:31.399 --> 00:07:33.279 make a big splash. I'm going to run one hundred 166 00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:35.560 and forty seven miles one for every day ZEB was 167 00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:38.199 in that NICKU to bring hope, feeling and possibility to 168 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:40.879 other families who are sitting there saying, I'm sitting in 169 00:07:40.920 --> 00:07:43.480 the valley. I need to know there's a mountaintop somewhere, 170 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:45.759 you know, and we've you know, I'm willing to go 171 00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:47.800 through that valley to get to that mountain top and 172 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:49.800 then I want to come back and bring that to 173 00:07:49.839 --> 00:07:51.759 the other people who are going through the hard things. 174 00:07:51.839 --> 00:07:55.120 And so with one forty seven so a year ago September, 175 00:07:55.160 --> 00:07:57.439 I took off. I I had to run one hundred 176 00:07:57.439 --> 00:07:59.120 and forty seven miles over forty eight hours. 177 00:07:59.120 --> 00:07:59.680 Center friends. 178 00:08:00.199 --> 00:08:04.160 We've filmed it, community outside the video and stuff like that, 179 00:08:04.399 --> 00:08:07.600 and we created a documentary that tells the story of 180 00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:11.000 both that long, hard run and also the narrative of 181 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:13.120 the nick you you know, sort of wound up into 182 00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:16.399 it as well. And so what we're doing with the documentary, 183 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:19.360 it's been around to multiple film festivals here in Colorado. 184 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:22.360 We just had a fundraising screening of it and Boulder. 185 00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:25.639 We brought it home to our community and we're getting 186 00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:27.879 ready to start licensing it out as well. So it's 187 00:08:27.879 --> 00:08:30.959 been so fun to see the movement grow, to see 188 00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:32.440 people hear our story in a new way. 189 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.480 Through one forty seven, it's been awesome. 190 00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:36.519 So how can people get involved? 191 00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:39.159 I mean, how do people find out about you if 192 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:41.639 they are going through this? How do you bring people 193 00:08:41.639 --> 00:08:42.320 into the fold? 194 00:08:44.360 --> 00:08:46.480 Well, we're so lucky we have such a big community. 195 00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:48.799 We still have connections as well with our nurses and 196 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:51.600 doctors from that time in the hospital. Zev's five Now 197 00:08:51.639 --> 00:08:54.200 he lives a healthy and thriving life as a five 198 00:08:54.279 --> 00:08:56.879 year old, and we do go back and see our 199 00:08:56.960 --> 00:08:59.320 nick You family as well all the time. Gosh, what 200 00:08:59.399 --> 00:09:02.279 a gift our nick You nurses and all the care 201 00:09:02.320 --> 00:09:05.720 team there were to us, and so they spread the 202 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:08.840 word for us. You can go to our website www 203 00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:11.480 dot for those that's number four t h o SE 204 00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:12.000 dot org. 205 00:09:12.039 --> 00:09:13.320 You can sign up for our newsletter. 206 00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:15.360 You can see when you know we'll send up information 207 00:09:15.399 --> 00:09:16.840 when we're doing more screenings. 208 00:09:17.360 --> 00:09:19.200 Our biggest ask is that if. 209 00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:21.279 You know someone in the Niku right now, would you 210 00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:23.720 tell them about for them? You know, the whole healing 211 00:09:23.799 --> 00:09:27.320 and possibility that comes from these impossible journeys in the Niku, 212 00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:30.240 these long stays. We're here on the other side to say, 213 00:09:30.519 --> 00:09:33.240 whatever comes next, we're here to get you through it. 214 00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:35.039 We're here to support you as you go. 215 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:37.679 You know, you could just follow us on Instagram too 216 00:09:37.799 --> 00:09:39.679 for those org or on Facebook. 217 00:09:40.039 --> 00:09:43.919 Well, I love, love love this organization so much. Somebody 218 00:09:43.919 --> 00:09:46.159 and it's Zev right, Zev. 219 00:09:48.120 --> 00:09:50.679 At Ev And yeah, you can hear our whole story 220 00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:53.159 at the Zev Project. It's a podcast I did after 221 00:09:53.200 --> 00:09:55.279 we got out of the nick you to just tell 222 00:09:55.320 --> 00:09:57.799 a new story. You know, there's all this fear and 223 00:09:57.879 --> 00:10:00.399 a you know, uncertainty about the future. We're here to 224 00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:03.519 just say whatever future comes, it can be beautiful even 225 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:04.399 in the hard stuff. 226 00:10:04.759 --> 00:10:06.759 Well, we always had the attitude when we got all 227 00:10:06.799 --> 00:10:09.840 the negative possible prognosis, we were like, look, we're just 228 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:13.200 gonna do everything we can. Treat her like a normal 229 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:15.639 kid and just let the ships fall where they may. 230 00:10:15.639 --> 00:10:18.000 Because you can get too caught up and worrying about 231 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:19.799 what's going to happen or what's not going to happen, 232 00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:22.679 and then that just makes the whole thing worse. I 233 00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:25.559 have put links to everything. I've put links to four 234 00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:28.080 those on the blog. I put the trailer for the 235 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:30.240 movie on the blog so people can see it there. 236 00:10:30.360 --> 00:10:30.519 Are you. 237 00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:33.240 Do you have any showings around like in the Denver 238 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:34.960 Metro coming up anytime soon? 239 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:40.240 Currently not right now. We are still we're getting ready 240 00:10:40.320 --> 00:10:42.720 to license it out. We're just waiting for it to 241 00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:45.240 finish its festival run and then we'll be able to 242 00:10:45.240 --> 00:10:47.440 bring it back to the Denver area. So stay tuned 243 00:10:47.480 --> 00:10:50.120 on our website. Like I said, you can find all 244 00:10:50.120 --> 00:10:52.399 the information there and we'll keep everyone posted on when 245 00:10:52.519 --> 00:10:53.440 you can come and see it. 246 00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:54.720 It's going to be so fun. 247 00:10:54.799 --> 00:10:56.600 Well let me know and I will spread the word 248 00:10:56.600 --> 00:10:59.360 for my listeners. And Stephanie Hawser, thank you so much 249 00:10:59.399 --> 00:11:01.480 for coming on the show and for everything you're doing, 250 00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:05.080 Because I know twelve days was the longest twelve days 251 00:11:05.080 --> 00:11:05.480 of my life. 252 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:07.279 You were in almost six months. 253 00:11:07.399 --> 00:11:12.000 I cannot even imagine, but I can imagine what it 254 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:14.559 must have been like the day you walked out of 255 00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:18.159 that hospital, was zev That feeling is like no other 256 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:21.480 feeling in the entire world. And that's what I focus 257 00:11:21.600 --> 00:11:22.360 on when I think about the. 258 00:11:22.399 --> 00:11:24.960 Nick you that day we left. 259 00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:28.080 That's right, that's right, and I think what you said 260 00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:29.960 was just right. We're all part of this club. We 261 00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:31.000 all know that feeling. 262 00:11:31.440 --> 00:11:33.120 It is such an incredible moment. 263 00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:35.919 You know, you've you've gotten through one of the hardest 264 00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:38.799 situations in your life and now we get to provide 265 00:11:38.840 --> 00:11:40.639 through for those the place where you get to. 266 00:11:40.559 --> 00:11:43.240 Live out that beautiful future out here in the world. 267 00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:45.639 It's so good, Stephanie, thank you so much for your 268 00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:46.200 time today. 269 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:50.240 Thank you. It was so good to be here, all right. 270 00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:52.440 That is Stephanie Hauser with For those, I put a 271 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:56.360 link to the Instagram page, the Facebook page, thefour those 272 00:11:56.440 --> 00:12:00.279 dot org page. It's just for the number four those 273 00:12:00.360 --> 00:12:00.960 dot org.