WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:02.359 Welcome to Backing Your Leadership. 2 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:03.720 I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo. 3 00:00:03.799 --> 00:00:05.960 And Lorenzo. On this episode, we are finishing up the 4 00:00:06.559 --> 00:00:09.039 series we've been doing for the last five weeks on 5 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:12.080 kind of going through the backlog of listener questions that 6 00:00:12.080 --> 00:00:14.480 have been suggested to us, just kind of things that 7 00:00:14.839 --> 00:00:16.960 never made it to the front because there were other 8 00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:19.440 things to talk about that were that were important. We've 9 00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:21.079 had a lot of great conversations over the last five 10 00:00:21.079 --> 00:00:23.920 weeks talking about this stuff, and on today's episode, there's 11 00:00:23.960 --> 00:00:25.960 there's one question left that I want to go over 12 00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:30.039 because I think it is I think it's important, especially 13 00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:32.200 as a person moves up in their leadership career. I 14 00:00:32.240 --> 00:00:34.920 think this is this is more likely to be a 15 00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:37.920 problem when a person is further along in their career 16 00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:40.119 than when a person is just starting out. The question 17 00:00:40.159 --> 00:00:43.399 came from a listener who says that basically they have 18 00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:48.119 a tough time with the amount of digital communication that 19 00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:50.240 is being asked of them. That they're they're used to 20 00:00:50.280 --> 00:00:53.520 talking to people in person, whether it be over a 21 00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:56.799 video call or you know, actually a conversation in person, 22 00:00:57.159 --> 00:00:59.880 and they've moved into a leadership role and now so 23 00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:02.840 much more of their communication is done via email or 24 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:05.840 Slack or message, you know, whatever the cert whatever the 25 00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:07.640 the app is, that is the app of the day, 26 00:01:08.120 --> 00:01:12.640 all these different things, and they they find themselves feeling 27 00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:16.840 like they're being miss misinterpreted, or that people are uh 28 00:01:17.079 --> 00:01:20.000 are are not. They're having a problem with what they're 29 00:01:20.040 --> 00:01:23.560 saying over those those apps or those messages because they 30 00:01:23.560 --> 00:01:27.159 feel like their their intention is being lost in the 31 00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:31.159 in the context. And I think it's a real concern 32 00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:33.519 for a lot of people. And I know people over 33 00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:37.400 the years who have virtually stopped communicating digitally and we'll 34 00:01:37.400 --> 00:01:39.000 just pick up the phone and call people because they 35 00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:41.640 just don't want this to happen. I don't think that's 36 00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:45.159 necessarily solution in the age that we're in. You have 37 00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:48.959 to be able to use these tools effectively, but but 38 00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:50.640 it can come back to bite you if you don't 39 00:01:50.719 --> 00:01:51.319 use them correctly. 40 00:01:51.400 --> 00:01:54.599 Yeah, it's a real thing. I've gotten caught up in 41 00:01:54.640 --> 00:01:58.680 it myself sometimes, and then I've I've been in situations 42 00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:02.920 where you know, maybe I've responded to something, you know, 43 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:05.599 via text message or email or something, and then I immediately 44 00:02:05.560 --> 00:02:07.519 get a phone call from someone and they're just like 45 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:10.000 they're just like, oh, hey, you know, and it's like, 46 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.400 oh no, no, it's not even what I meant, you know. 47 00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:16.280 What I mean, like, it definitely is I think the 48 00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:19.719 speed of which things happen this day and age, and 49 00:02:19.759 --> 00:02:22.360 the speed of which decisions happen, because I really think 50 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:26.840 a lot about this, like what is the difference over 51 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:29.199 the last couple of decades when it comes to. 52 00:02:30.680 --> 00:02:31.759 How we communicate? 53 00:02:31.960 --> 00:02:36.240 And why do we have so many different platforms and 54 00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:40.159 ways and you know, things that overlap themselves. I can 55 00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:44.520 send the same digital message via seven different ways, you know. 56 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:48.159 Uh, And it's like why, Well, I think a big 57 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:48.800 part of that. 58 00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:54.960 Is because so many decisions are happening in the speed 59 00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:59.199 to make the decisions has changed quite a bit over 60 00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:02.879 the decades. And I think that's that's something that is 61 00:03:02.879 --> 00:03:04.680 not going to go away anytime soon. And I think, 62 00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:08.120 you know, the best, you know, the best potential outcome 63 00:03:08.199 --> 00:03:12.000 is that we have less things to use. Everybody aligns 64 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:16.159 on the same communication vehicles because then it's much easier 65 00:03:16.199 --> 00:03:18.879 to manage. But it doesn't change the fact that this 66 00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:23.719 skill and this capability and this understanding of how to 67 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:26.199 how to send digital communication is going to be critical 68 00:03:26.280 --> 00:03:28.560 and there's a lot of things that are being done 69 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:33.719 now in technology day even help to craft messaging. And 70 00:03:33.759 --> 00:03:35.960 then there are things that you've even seen generationally, and 71 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:38.960 I'm an example of one of those things, which I 72 00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:42.719 saw the other day was like how different you know, 73 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:46.159 how how different generations you know, communicate via digital And 74 00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:48.240 one of the things that they say, like millennials do 75 00:03:48.479 --> 00:03:50.639 and I'm guilty of this, is they type L O 76 00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:53.199 L on everything. Right, It's just a it's a way 77 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:55.360 of softening whatever the message is. It's a way of 78 00:03:55.400 --> 00:03:59.199 letting somebody know like, yeah, I'm responding, but it don't 79 00:03:59.199 --> 00:04:02.039 take this serial or you know, like it's not a 80 00:04:02.159 --> 00:04:05.360 you know, it's like if something was to happen and 81 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:08.520 I just say thanks, that can come across as you know, 82 00:04:09.159 --> 00:04:11.840 like like I don't know, like condescending. It can come 83 00:04:11.879 --> 00:04:14.639 across as like sarcastic, I guess, or I could say 84 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:17.959 thanks Lol, it seems softer, right, like like it doesn't 85 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:20.439 seem like it's so like there are things that I 86 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:23.439 already read in this article that I do that are 87 00:04:23.600 --> 00:04:26.040 just things that I didn't even really realize that I 88 00:04:26.079 --> 00:04:28.279 was doing. But these are things that I think are 89 00:04:28.360 --> 00:04:31.160 important as we all get more and more comfortable with 90 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:36.279 a style of communication that gives absolutely no nuance at all, 91 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:41.839 right to thoughts, to feelings, to joking around that type 92 00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:43.279 of thing. So I think it's definitely something that we 93 00:04:43.279 --> 00:04:45.800 can continue to talk about. And I think that that leaders, 94 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:49.560 especially as you continue your career, you spend more time 95 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:52.240 doing this than less time. It's really important that you 96 00:04:52.279 --> 00:04:53.639 get good at it right for sure. 97 00:04:53.680 --> 00:04:56.879 For sure, you know, I think I think that if 98 00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:00.439 the context of this of this question is about you know, 99 00:05:00.600 --> 00:05:05.319 lowering the likelihood of miscommunication, maintaining a high level of clarity, 100 00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:08.800 because you know, clarity is so important in terms of 101 00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:10.800 making sure that you know, if you're a leader of people, 102 00:05:10.800 --> 00:05:12.920 that you and your employees are on the same page 103 00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:16.120 or with what the expectations are. Uh And and I 104 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:19.680 think that the different ways of communicating, you know, they 105 00:05:19.720 --> 00:05:22.319 they can muddy the waters if they're not used correctly. 106 00:05:22.360 --> 00:05:24.000 And so you know, one of the one of the 107 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:26.560 pieces of advice that that I always I got from 108 00:05:26.600 --> 00:05:29.079 a leader once that I that I really value was 109 00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:32.600 that if if you wouldn't, if you wouldn't be comfortable 110 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:36.079 with whatever you're about to type being displayed on the 111 00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:40.160 JumboTron in Times square, then don't type it, because if 112 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:42.600 that's the litmus test, that that's the kind of the bar, 113 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:48.800 then significantly less things would be sent digitally. Right, you'd 114 00:05:48.839 --> 00:05:50.720 pick up the phone and call somebody, or you'd wait 115 00:05:50.759 --> 00:05:52.959 till you were with them face to face. You know, 116 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:56.639 the things that belong in let's let's start with, you know, 117 00:05:56.680 --> 00:05:58.439 one of the most common start with email. The things 118 00:05:58.439 --> 00:06:03.720 that belong in email can communications. They should be They 119 00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:06.800 shouldn't be misinterpretable at all. You should be able to 120 00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:11.360 send an email to ten different people and then ask 121 00:06:11.399 --> 00:06:14.439 them to tell you what was said. There shouldn't be 122 00:06:14.480 --> 00:06:17.879 any variation between what they respond back with because what 123 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:23.439 you've put is purely factual. There's not a a hint 124 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:28.959 or an element of subjectivity or or emotion or you know, 125 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:33.680 sarcasm or any you know, if you're trying to lighten 126 00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:36.600 up your emails as a leader with l ols or 127 00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:39.959 jokes or whatever that is, then that implies that what 128 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:42.759 was said first in the email doesn't belong in an 129 00:06:42.800 --> 00:06:45.279 email to begin with, because there shouldn't be anything to 130 00:06:45.439 --> 00:06:48.560 lighten up. There shouldn't be anything to soften, you know, 131 00:06:48.639 --> 00:06:50.720 it should just be a kind of a factual communication. 132 00:06:51.079 --> 00:06:53.279 And then there are other methods you have of communicating 133 00:06:53.560 --> 00:06:56.560 that that might be you know that are that are 134 00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:58.720 better than email. When it comes to those things, whether 135 00:06:58.759 --> 00:07:00.639 it be a video call if you have a remote team, 136 00:07:00.839 --> 00:07:03.120 or an actual phone call or waiting till you're in 137 00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:05.720 person to explain something. An email could be a recap 138 00:07:05.839 --> 00:07:08.639 of a conversation you already had, so there's no way 139 00:07:08.680 --> 00:07:10.600 to misinterpret it. It's just kind of like, hey, just 140 00:07:10.639 --> 00:07:12.560 make sure we're on the same page. I do that often. 141 00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:15.319 I'll have an hour long conference call with a team 142 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:18.000 of people, and then I'll send a follow up email, 143 00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:20.720 you know, on after the call, like just to make 144 00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:22.519 sure we're all on the same page. This is what 145 00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:25.360 I heard, This is what my responsibility is going forward, 146 00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:27.920 like my homework to do for until the next meeting. 147 00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:29.680 This is what somebody else is doing. And it's not 148 00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:32.560 in a very factual way, almost bullet point way, so 149 00:07:32.600 --> 00:07:34.680 that so that people have kind of like a record 150 00:07:34.759 --> 00:07:38.399 or you know, the meeting minutes, if you will. But 151 00:07:38.399 --> 00:07:41.199 but no one could look at that and think, oh, 152 00:07:41.480 --> 00:07:43.720 Chris has a negative intent when it comes to this, 153 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:45.920 I might get something wrong. I might have put a 154 00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:48.279 responsibility on one person where it belongs to somebody else. 155 00:07:48.519 --> 00:07:50.839 But but that could be corrected, right like you respond, 156 00:07:50.839 --> 00:07:52.920 Oh no, it's this person, not this person. That's fine. 157 00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:54.759 No one's gonna get offended by that. They're just going 158 00:07:54.839 --> 00:07:57.240 to correct it and move on. If a person has 159 00:07:57.279 --> 00:08:02.040 the ability or even the potential of misinterpreting something where 160 00:08:02.079 --> 00:08:06.480 they think that that you either are angry with them 161 00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:09.800 or or annoyed with them, or stand offish with them, 162 00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:12.360 or that the relationship isn't where it needs to be, 163 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:16.079 then that thing shouldn't belong in an in an email communication. 164 00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:17.319 It should belong in a conversation. 165 00:08:17.519 --> 00:08:19.160 Yeah. No, I think it's a great call out. 166 00:08:19.199 --> 00:08:22.800 And I'm you know, I'm a big fan of of. 167 00:08:22.920 --> 00:08:25.319 Being like, you know, meetings that could have been an email. 168 00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:28.319 Yes, you know what I mean, because it's it's there's 169 00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:31.240 only certain things that you can do and discuss when 170 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:34.440 you're face to face, And I think that's an important 171 00:08:34.840 --> 00:08:37.399 call out. So, like, there's there's a lot of things 172 00:08:37.399 --> 00:08:39.080 that can be done digital, there's a lot of things 173 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:40.360 that you can communicate. There's a lot of things that 174 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:42.559 you can do on informing. There's questions that you can 175 00:08:42.600 --> 00:08:44.240 ask there's a lot that you can do in the 176 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:47.600 digital space, in the digital world, and so and and 177 00:08:47.600 --> 00:08:52.120 and the speed of which you know, I can send something. 178 00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:54.200 And again, like I can just tell you in my 179 00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:58.360 own habits that I tell my teams. I'm like, if 180 00:08:58.360 --> 00:09:01.519 it's an email, most of the time, it's just forwarding 181 00:09:01.519 --> 00:09:04.799 some information, or if I ask a question, it's like 182 00:09:04.840 --> 00:09:07.879 get back to me when you can. Right I'm gonna 183 00:09:07.960 --> 00:09:10.639 utilize like text message if I have an immediate need 184 00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:12.960 or I need you to have some information like right now, 185 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:15.559 and you know something that's important today that you need 186 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:17.600 to have access to, And then I might use a 187 00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:20.519 different vehicle if I want it to be something that 188 00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:25.600 is more collaborative and something that's easily searchable or that 189 00:09:25.639 --> 00:09:28.200 it's it's you know, it's it's something that we may 190 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:31.519 need to look back on because people save text messages, 191 00:09:31.519 --> 00:09:33.480 delete text messages like you know that type of thing. 192 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:37.480 But a different platform that maybe your organization uses allows 193 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:43.679 you for different levels of collaboration but also easy easier 194 00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:46.039 to search different things. So you know, I think that 195 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:51.000 there's a ton of value in all the digital communication. 196 00:09:51.799 --> 00:09:54.759 But to your point, like the time of understanding, like 197 00:09:54.840 --> 00:10:00.279 what is used for what and then how you get 198 00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:04.360 the most effective responses is going to come down to 199 00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:08.919 how you communicate in these platforms, but also like the 200 00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:12.360 reflection of you, like like, I think that's an important 201 00:10:12.360 --> 00:10:14.440 part of it, is that when you have the face 202 00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:17.840 to face time and the interactions, that's how people read you. 203 00:10:17.960 --> 00:10:21.120 That's how people know you. They read your message. 204 00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:25.240 Digitally, they don't they don't automatically assume that it's negative 205 00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:28.240 or accusatory or anything. If they know who you are 206 00:10:28.360 --> 00:10:33.919 and how you communicate in general, and over time, you know, 207 00:10:34.200 --> 00:10:38.080 they get they get used to how you know, how 208 00:10:38.159 --> 00:10:40.120 you write, and I think so like, but but that 209 00:10:40.159 --> 00:10:43.039 takes time. So again, if you're if you're a new leader, 210 00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:46.240 if you're if you're leading a new team, if you're 211 00:10:46.279 --> 00:10:49.240 new to an organization, all these things right off the 212 00:10:49.279 --> 00:10:51.639 bat are going to be looked at and considered because 213 00:10:51.679 --> 00:10:55.000 nobody really knows you yet, like that in spaces, and 214 00:10:55.039 --> 00:10:57.440 you've got to be able to understand that when you 215 00:10:57.480 --> 00:10:59.840 initially start to communicate via digital world. 216 00:11:00.120 --> 00:11:01.519 You're I think you're spot on with that. I think 217 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:03.679 you know, if if I if I think about what 218 00:11:03.720 --> 00:11:07.480 you're saying, you're you're talking about the relationship with each 219 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:10.399 individual person. So you know, the the if I am 220 00:11:10.440 --> 00:11:12.360 new to a team, I don't have a relationship with 221 00:11:12.399 --> 00:11:15.159 those people yet, and so I have to be very 222 00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:19.360 clear on what methods of communication I use so that 223 00:11:19.559 --> 00:11:23.639 nothing is misinterpretable the best. You know, it's like what's 224 00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:26.120 the what's the term, the football term the or you know, 225 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:28.519 the sports term, the best defense is a good offense, 226 00:11:28.600 --> 00:11:30.039 or the best offense is a good defense. You know 227 00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:32.480 that kind of thing. This is the exact same thing. 228 00:11:32.519 --> 00:11:36.240 The best way to make sure that that you're not 229 00:11:36.320 --> 00:11:40.759 going to be misinterpret digitally is to not use digital communications. Right, 230 00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:43.519 So that's that's the best way. That's not possible. So 231 00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:46.799 so let's figure out what the right way is, which 232 00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:49.120 is to if you're if you're new to a team, 233 00:11:49.240 --> 00:11:52.440 or if you're communicating with people with whom you don't 234 00:11:52.440 --> 00:11:55.080 have a lot of history of communication with, or people 235 00:11:55.120 --> 00:11:58.240 who don't know personally, people who you haven't interacted much, 236 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:02.799 then then that way of communicating needs to truly be 237 00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:07.919 segregated to the factual kind of recap informational email kind 238 00:12:07.919 --> 00:12:11.399 of thing. If it's if it's something that is that 239 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:14.799 could be misinterpreted, but the person you're sending it to 240 00:12:15.039 --> 00:12:18.600 is someone who you have a decades long relationship with 241 00:12:18.600 --> 00:12:22.919 with with hundreds of in person interactions and an assumption 242 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:25.320 of positive intent between the two of you. Then there's 243 00:12:25.320 --> 00:12:28.159 almost nothing you could say digitally that they would misinterpret 244 00:12:28.279 --> 00:12:30.679 because they're they're looking at it in the context of 245 00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:33.440 the entire relationship with you. And so that's really what 246 00:12:33.480 --> 00:12:35.960 it comes down to, is that is that if you're 247 00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:41.000 being misinterpreted by somebody because of something you sent digitally, 248 00:12:41.720 --> 00:12:45.759 it means that the relationship a isn't there to begin with, right, 249 00:12:45.799 --> 00:12:48.639 so that the work needs to be on there because 250 00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:53.600 the failure is a in the lack of relationship, and 251 00:12:53.639 --> 00:12:56.480 b in the assumption that there was a relationship when 252 00:12:56.480 --> 00:12:58.759 there wasn't one so that you could use this method 253 00:12:58.799 --> 00:13:03.240 of communication, and and the the you can you can 254 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:06.080 get past the first one by having a relationship with somebody, 255 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:07.840 but that takes time. It's not something you've been forced 256 00:13:07.879 --> 00:13:12.679 to happen. And and the it's about quantity and quality. 257 00:13:12.759 --> 00:13:15.759 So you can't just say, oh, I've had two interactions 258 00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:18.559 with this person over the last six months, but they've 259 00:13:18.600 --> 00:13:21.759 both been really positive interactions. Yeah, that's that's not enough 260 00:13:22.039 --> 00:13:24.159 right if you if you have an interaction with that 261 00:13:24.200 --> 00:13:28.000 person every day for the last three months, that is enough. 262 00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.480 Right unless those interactions are not quality interactions, and they 263 00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:34.399 are they are antagonistic, or there is a kind of 264 00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:37.600 a rift in the relationship, then that again, then don't 265 00:13:37.720 --> 00:13:40.519 use the digital communication for whatever you're trying to say 266 00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:43.080 unless it's factual and informative. And so it's a both. 267 00:13:43.159 --> 00:13:45.759 You have to have the the history and the quantity 268 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:47.960 of the relationship and it has to be a good 269 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:51.919 relationship in order to be not misinterpreted in something that 270 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:57.159 isn't isn't just factual or informative, and those conversations belong 271 00:13:57.279 --> 00:13:59.960 in person or you know, over video call or whatever 272 00:14:00.200 --> 00:14:02.639 it is, so that you are far less likely to 273 00:14:02.639 --> 00:14:05.240 be misinterpreted. And then the email comes after the fact 274 00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:07.840 to follow up. Hey, just just verifying what we talked about. 275 00:14:08.039 --> 00:14:09.559 I want to make sure you have a record of 276 00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:12.080 this so that we can, you know, move forward. And 277 00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:15.840 I think if you if you think about why leaders 278 00:14:16.039 --> 00:14:19.480 don't go this route, it's expediency, right like it's it's 279 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:22.240 they know that they know they have positive intent. I 280 00:14:22.279 --> 00:14:25.159 know I know I have positive intent, so they they 281 00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:27.759 should assume that I have positive intent. Okay, yeah, in 282 00:14:27.799 --> 00:14:30.600 a perfect world, yes, but that's not how it always works. 283 00:14:30.799 --> 00:14:32.960 And so you can't just assume that because you have 284 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:35.279 positive intent that they will accept it that way or 285 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:39.159 they will interpret it that way. If the goal is just, hey, 286 00:14:39.159 --> 00:14:40.799 you know what this is. This is the way it is, 287 00:14:40.919 --> 00:14:43.960 they can take it or leave it. Sure, maybe, but 288 00:14:43.960 --> 00:14:46.480 but that's not what most relationships between a leader and 289 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:52.000 employee are. In most relationships, the win isn't communicating effectively. 290 00:14:52.360 --> 00:14:56.000 The win is some type of behavioral change or follow 291 00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:58.320 up or action on the part of the person that 292 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:01.720 you're sending the communication to that is needed in order 293 00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:04.360 to consider to be considered a success. So if your 294 00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:06.399 boss is looking at whether or not the thing was done, 295 00:15:06.879 --> 00:15:09.759 and it wasn't done, but they look at you and go, oh, well, 296 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:11.679 look at you. Clearly sent them an email. You're off 297 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:14.559 the hook there. That's not how that's not how things work. 298 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:16.480 Usually the boss will come to you and say, why 299 00:15:16.519 --> 00:15:19.440 isn't this done? Oh well, I send them an email, right, 300 00:15:19.559 --> 00:15:22.000 but but then what did you Yeah, that's that's not enough. 301 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:24.320 It has to be done. So if the goal is 302 00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:28.399 that behavioral change or the action happening, then then you 303 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:31.639 have to do what is needed to alter your communication 304 00:15:31.799 --> 00:15:35.639 style or method or venue of communication to get the 305 00:15:35.679 --> 00:15:38.240 result you're looking for. That's the win, is the result 306 00:15:38.279 --> 00:15:41.399 you're looking for, not just to be able to expediently 307 00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:42.519 send them information. 308 00:15:42.840 --> 00:15:45.159 Absolutely, and with that it brings us to this episode's 309 00:15:45.159 --> 00:15:47.360 one minute hack. But first a few words from our sponsors. 310 00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:49.840 All Right, this episode is one minute hack is about 311 00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:54.919 effective communication and lowering the levels of miscommunication and lack 312 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:57.320 of clarity. If you're a leader and you're having a 313 00:15:57.320 --> 00:16:00.039 difficult time with this, if you've been told by some 314 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:03.240 or by multiple people that they didn't like the way 315 00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:05.399 that you came off in this email or this message, 316 00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:08.440 and your response was or your reaction was, oh my gosh, 317 00:16:08.440 --> 00:16:10.159 I didn't mean it that way. That's that's not what 318 00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:12.440 I meant, then this means you need to work in 319 00:16:12.440 --> 00:16:14.879 this area. And the way to do this is when 320 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:16.759 you are writing something that is going to be sent 321 00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:18.919 in an email or you know, via any type of 322 00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:21.879 digital communication, to save it as a draft or as 323 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:23.759 a you know, take a screenshot of it or write 324 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:26.279 it in a note somewhere and have somebody else look 325 00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:28.279 at it first someone that you that you trust to 326 00:16:28.279 --> 00:16:30.600 look at it to tell you how they would interpret it. 327 00:16:30.919 --> 00:16:32.639 And if you really want to take this to the 328 00:16:32.679 --> 00:16:35.320 to the place where it should go, the person who 329 00:16:35.399 --> 00:16:37.480 you should ask to do this is the person who 330 00:16:37.559 --> 00:16:39.720 reached out to you at one point to say I 331 00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:43.120 didn't like the way you communicated this, and and your 332 00:16:43.159 --> 00:16:45.120 reaction was, oh, my gosh, that's not what I meant. 333 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:47.519 Because that person is being honest with you already, and 334 00:16:47.559 --> 00:16:49.600 you know they will. If you go to the person 335 00:16:49.639 --> 00:16:52.200 who's just you know, your closest friend in the workplace, 336 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:55.360 it is likely that they will interpret it differently than 337 00:16:55.399 --> 00:16:57.200 a person that you're sending it to to begin with. 338 00:16:57.480 --> 00:16:59.519 And if they look at it go yeah, it's great 339 00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:01.759 to me. Well, yeah, that means that when they received 340 00:17:01.759 --> 00:17:04.400 it they wouldn't interpret it negatively. But that doesn't mean 341 00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:06.480 that a person who doesn't have a relationship with you 342 00:17:06.799 --> 00:17:09.240 also wouldn't interpret it negatively. It could mean that, like, 343 00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:11.880 that might be the right person, but you want objective 344 00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:14.240 eyes to be looking at this. So this is someone 345 00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:16.559 who you can trust to give you the right answer, 346 00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:21.400 but but who isn't already so familiar with you that 347 00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:23.680 they can read through the nuance that might be in 348 00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:27.640 a piece of communication and not interpret it negatively, go 349 00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:29.359 to the person who had the problem to begin with, 350 00:17:29.559 --> 00:17:31.640 and you're likely to solved both problems at the same time. 351 00:17:31.720 --> 00:17:34.880 Yeah, this is one of those ones where you know, 352 00:17:35.119 --> 00:17:38.720 you don't get to decide if you're getting better, you know, 353 00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:41.160 say or like like, you know, yeah, if you're going 354 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:43.839 to work on this, it does take a partnership. It 355 00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:47.559 does take people around you, and to your point, it 356 00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:51.200 takes the people that maybe it hasn't landed with well 357 00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:55.799 because they're the ones who have a different filter or 358 00:17:55.880 --> 00:17:59.880 different perspective or to your point, of different relationship, and 359 00:18:00.720 --> 00:18:03.640 you know they're going to they're going to have the 360 00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:07.640 most amount of information on what you can do differently 361 00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:10.200 or how you can adjust to not come across in 362 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:13.559 certain ways. And like, look, you know, the underscoring answer 363 00:18:13.559 --> 00:18:15.480 to all of it is like, spend time with those 364 00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:17.319 people and more time with them, and you'll build a 365 00:18:17.319 --> 00:18:18.559 better relationship and you'll. 366 00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:19.359 Have less of has happened. 367 00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:23.200 But there's definitely an element of this that is just 368 00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:27.119 around communication skills and the nuance and how you go 369 00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:29.920 about doing it, because again, you're not always going to 370 00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:33.799 have the luxury of time to just be able to 371 00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:36.480 be like, yeah, like I'll you know, they'll get to 372 00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:38.640 know who I am, and then at that point everything 373 00:18:38.680 --> 00:18:39.240 will be fine. 374 00:18:39.319 --> 00:18:42.640 Well maybe maybe not. And if you're. 375 00:18:42.519 --> 00:18:46.039 Not capable of growing and building the skill, you might 376 00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:48.319 not ever make it to that chance of time where 377 00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:50.960 you're able to build the relationships. And so it's definitely 378 00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:54.680 a key element and something that I do think is 379 00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:57.519 really important, especially this day and age and as much 380 00:18:57.559 --> 00:19:00.400 as we communicate in the digital world, I think it's 381 00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:03.680 something that everybody should be, you know, considering, thinking about 382 00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:04.480 and working. 383 00:19:04.200 --> 00:19:06.599 On right And if you are new to a team 384 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:11.240 who doesn't have the history with you, really try to 385 00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:14.480 have as many interactions as you can in person or 386 00:19:14.519 --> 00:19:16.519 if it's a if it's a remote based team, you know, 387 00:19:16.599 --> 00:19:20.160 over a video call. Both as a group and more 388 00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:22.920 specifically one on one with each person. Get to know 389 00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:26.759 them individually, share things about yourself and ask them questions 390 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:29.640 about them that are not work related. Develop a rapport 391 00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:32.519 with them based on things that are not just what 392 00:19:32.680 --> 00:19:35.279 the job is, and you are far less likely to 393 00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:39.240 be misinterpreted because a person can read something and think, oh, 394 00:19:39.319 --> 00:19:42.119 I feel like I know who this person is I 395 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:44.160 don't think they would say it this way. I don't 396 00:19:44.160 --> 00:19:46.839 think they mean this even though it's easy to interpret 397 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:49.519 it this way. That's the ultimate goal, that's the that's 398 00:19:49.559 --> 00:19:53.039 the armor against it, because then even if you do 399 00:19:53.119 --> 00:19:55.680 something incorrectly, it's not going to come back and bite 400 00:19:55.680 --> 00:19:58.039 you because no one's going to misinterpret it. No one's 401 00:19:58.079 --> 00:20:00.519