Speaker 1: So I found this list that this woman shared of
Speaker 1: questions her dad asks her before she can invite her
Speaker 1: boyfriend over. And I'm curious to you guys' take on these.
Speaker 1: What are important personal stories that shaped who he is today? Okay?
Speaker 1: I mean I don't hate. I don't hate the idea
Speaker 1: behind that question, like do you know him? I think
Speaker 1: that's what the you know that I was trying to
Speaker 1: get to.
Speaker 2: I was almost curious as to that. I kind of
Speaker 2: figured that's what the case was. But like, it doesn't
Speaker 2: say how long they've been together.
Speaker 1: No, this is for any This is just what the
Speaker 1: dad does before he can invite a boy. Is this
Speaker 1: girl exactly? What does that matter? Well?
Speaker 3: I mean is she a thirteen year old with a boyfriend?
Speaker 1: Or right? How many life experiences does he haven?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Is this an adult woman who's hopefully going to marry
Speaker 3: this human or this.
Speaker 1: Guy that I think if it's an adult human, then
Speaker 1: this is weird. I think he's trying to like give
Speaker 1: her tools to know on whether rather than.
Speaker 2: He's cute maybe like a sixteen seventeen year old girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so here's no where did he go to school?
Speaker 1: And did he graduate Okay, so this is definitely after
Speaker 1: high school, then maybe I think these are good questions.
Speaker 1: Like here, I'm trying to give you tools for when
Speaker 1: I'm dead. Okay, another word, or don't.
Speaker 3: Waste my time bringing him home. I don't want to
Speaker 3: meet him if if you don't know enough about him.
Speaker 1: Does he have a family history of diabetes, blood disorders,
Speaker 1: sickle cell sickle cell disease, or cancers? Now we've taken
Speaker 1: a turn here. Yeah, you just got black all of
Speaker 1: a sudden. Is he black? The girl that posted this
Speaker 1: was black? Okay, that makes sense. Then having those sickle.
Speaker 2: Cell absolutely absolutely, you did not preempt us with what
Speaker 2: race she was.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter, no, but that makes sense, it does.
Speaker 2: I mean, I if it's a white dad asked if
Speaker 2: that could be perceived as extremely racist.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's what I'm saying. If I ask
Speaker 1: all these diseases, I'm not judging. I'm just covering all
Speaker 1: the diseases, covering all of them. Has he ever had aides?
Speaker 1: Has he read sex? Said medical history, which I think
Speaker 1: is weird. I think there's nothing wrong with trying to
Speaker 1: teach your kid like, hey, get to know someone. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: ask questions but when you start going like the next one,
Speaker 1: does he have any past surgical procedures? I am not
Speaker 1: clear on what that would be important for other than
Speaker 1: to get to a deeper layer of information.
Speaker 3: Maybe plastic surgery. Was it?
Speaker 1: Well? A lot of men don't have plastic surgery, and
Speaker 1: a lot of them aren't spies.
Speaker 3: True, but I maybe it was for you know, if
Speaker 3: you're thinking about having children with this person, don't expect
Speaker 3: them to necessarily look like that.
Speaker 1: Again, I think that question is like a really deep
Speaker 1: leveled we're trying to get into the third or fourth
Speaker 1: level of your life rather than I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: get to know you. Yeah, that question is a little bizarre.
Speaker 1: You may be right, But if we're having that question,
Speaker 1: I think there's nothing wrong with asking your partner if
Speaker 1: they've had surgical procedure, but you're just coming over for dinner.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's an important question rather than uh,
Speaker 1: what was your life like? What was growing up like? Oh?
Speaker 1: My dad was never there and I was a latchkey
Speaker 1: kid and I've never you know, used a fork. That
Speaker 1: kind of shit's important. I think when did you start dating?
Speaker 1: And how many girls has he dated prior to you.
Speaker 1: So I like this question, and I also don't like
Speaker 1: this question. I like this question from a dad's standpoint.
Speaker 1: I don't like this question on a I trust you
Speaker 1: as somebody that uh is an offspring of mine? Right,
Speaker 1: it feels like I don't trust you. I would agree
Speaker 1: with that.
Speaker 2: I I don't see what the point of it is
Speaker 2: because people, Yeah, it's the past. People date, and sometimes
Speaker 2: people date a lot of different people. Sometimes people just
Speaker 2: don't date. Maybe just that one person he fell in
Speaker 2: love with the first piece of ass you got a
Speaker 2: hold of.
Speaker 1: Those people do exist. I don't think it's any of
Speaker 1: the dad's business. I don't disagree.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't ask my daughter that I know she's dated
Speaker 2: people more than just one person.
Speaker 1: I think. I don't care. I think a lot of
Speaker 1: parents try to parent in a reactionary way. For example, Hey,
Speaker 1: I want to bring this guy i'm dating over, Okay,
Speaker 1: does he have any past surgical procedures? What's his family history?
Speaker 1: Does he have sickle? Sell like, that's not the time
Speaker 1: to parent. That is out the window at that.
Speaker 2: Point, and you're not learning anything about the person. To me,
Speaker 2: I think their character is way more important. The boyfriend
Speaker 2: in this case, the character is way more important than
Speaker 2: the past surgical procedures or you know, stuff like that,
Speaker 2: and you don't get to find out. Maybe you can
Speaker 2: see what kind of character they are by asking these questions.
Speaker 1: I agree that character like, what's their character like? And
Speaker 1: maybe a question of what personal story shape. You can
Speaker 1: kind of give examples of that character, but ultimately you'll lie.
Speaker 1: So your character I cannot judge until you are in
Speaker 1: front of me. Until I see you conduct yourself in public,
Speaker 1: That will tell me your character. How you act when
Speaker 1: a grandma is on the street corner trying to cross
Speaker 1: the street. If you see trash, if you throw trash
Speaker 1: on there, you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: start judging your character off those behaviors. Do you hold
Speaker 1: the door open for my daughter? I'm judging you in
Speaker 1: those moments. Another one, what does he do for a living?
Speaker 1: That feels like a fair question. I think there's some
Speaker 1: primer questions, like to get me ready for the visit
Speaker 1: that are a fair game. Hey, what does he do
Speaker 1: for a living? He's a he's a copy machine salesman.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I mean it's better than being a crack salesman.
Speaker 1: I don't know. One of them you saw a business future, right,
Speaker 1: one of them you didn't. Who does he live with?
Speaker 1: Another great question?
Speaker 2: Okay, does he still live with his parents? Is he
Speaker 2: twenty seven and still living with parents? Okay? Or is
Speaker 2: he on his own? Does he every probably if he
Speaker 2: will copy printers or if he sells brek?
Speaker 1: Yeah? True? Why did he break up with his last girlfriend? Again,
Speaker 1: we're into a question. I think that you should have
Speaker 1: had that seed planeted with your kid a long time
Speaker 1: ago to get to know someone and not just go
Speaker 1: off looks.
Speaker 2: But you said it before. What's it matter because they'll
Speaker 2: there's a chance, a good chance they'll just lie about it.
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean that because someone could lie, you shouldn't try
Speaker 1: to find out because then they can go well you
Speaker 1: didn't ask. It's on you, right at least if he goes,
Speaker 1: oh he dated you know Lindsey, and you go, I know, Lindsay, Lindsay,
Speaker 1: did you date George his piece of shit? Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Of me every day? Yeah? Uh? Does he make you
Speaker 1: feel supported and safe?
Speaker 3: It's a good question for a dad to ask a daughter.
Speaker 1: Yes, But here's my problem with that question. If she
Speaker 1: really likes him and he's I'm just gonna go with
Speaker 1: the leather jacket, you know, cigarettes rolled up in the
Speaker 1: sleeve kind of shit. Ray yeah, well yeah yeah, but
Speaker 1: like that mentality. Ah, she's gonna tell him, Yes, a kid,
Speaker 1: unless you have a solid relationship with your kid, which
Speaker 1: if you did, you wouldn't need to ask these questions.
Speaker 1: They're gonna just say yes, yeah, right, because they want
Speaker 1: to date them. What do you like most and least
Speaker 1: about him? I think that's a great question. That's probably
Speaker 1: the best question on that list. And asking to me like.
Speaker 2: Blood work, right, it's weird, man, unless it's like looking
Speaker 2: for like does he have a family history of cancer,
Speaker 2: like with the diabetes or whatever? If I get it,
Speaker 2: trying to see if there's long term here. But it's
Speaker 2: still weird.
Speaker 1: It is. It feels a little old school, right.
Speaker 3: Like if he did have a history of cancer in
Speaker 3: his family, what she's supposed to just dump him?
Speaker 1: Yes? Right? What answer here is gonna negate the situation
Speaker 1: because a kid, if they really want to date this individual,
Speaker 1: is going to circumvent that answer, right, And again I
Speaker 1: think the works you've missed the chance for work by
Speaker 1: this point, and to set that stuff up, Yeah, my
Speaker 1: kid goes, hey, I want to bring George over. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be I'm gonna be great. Let me ask you
Speaker 1: some questions about George so I know who he is,
Speaker 1: Not like I need to approve his visit in a
Speaker 1: home we share together, exactly. But you just bring him
Speaker 1: over and I'll ask him the question. Now that's a
Speaker 1: different thing. I got no problem whoever my daughter dates
Speaker 1: bringing over and making them feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: My dad was never like I want to make him
Speaker 3: feel uncomfortable. Like sure, he joked about, oh, when you
Speaker 3: start dating and bring a guy home, I'm going to
Speaker 3: be sure to cleaning my shotguns or something. But he
Speaker 3: was It was very simple for him. If he could
Speaker 3: hold a conversation with a guy that I was seeing,
Speaker 3: then it was cool. But if he couldn't, if he
Speaker 3: could not converse with this gentleman, he wasn't for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I think that's wild. Yeah, it was this great,
Speaker 1: I know, but that's not an accurate red flag. Meeting
Speaker 1: the father of somebody your dating is incredibly nerve wracking, right,
Speaker 1: And to put make that be the threshold on whether
Speaker 1: they're worthy or not, it's hardly fair.
Speaker 2: Right, What if he's just, you know, very charismatic and
Speaker 2: knows how to answer the question.
Speaker 1: Sure, but he did right the beaver. Uh it did work.
Speaker 3: I mean there was one guy in particular that I
Speaker 3: remember that I really crushed on, really hard, and he
Speaker 3: could not hold a conversation with me. It was like
Speaker 3: he was he was nervous and it didn't matter how
Speaker 3: many times he would come over and he just might
Speaker 3: have was like, I can't get anything out of him,
Speaker 3: Like what did he want? He just wanted to hold
Speaker 3: a conversation.
Speaker 1: Maybe he didn't want to talk to your dad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it didn't work out, right, But you know.
Speaker 1: But in the grand scheme of things, maybe he just
Speaker 1: didn't want to talk to your dad, right, Yeah, him
Speaker 1: not talking to your dad hardly warranted whether you guys
Speaker 1: worked out or not. Well, I look where they're at now. No,
Speaker 1: I get the correlation, right, I get the correlation. But
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean anything because maybe your husband met him.
Speaker 1: But would he have passed that test? You'd like to
Speaker 1: think yes, right, but there's no way to know.
Speaker 3: Well, what's weird is the first night that I ran
Speaker 3: into my now husband. I was twenty two years old
Speaker 3: and at a bar having dinner with my dad, and
Speaker 3: Kevin had came up and approached us, and we hadn't
Speaker 3: seen each other since high school. And I said, holy shit, Kevin,
Speaker 3: what's going on? And he was like, Lindsey Wow. And
Speaker 3: then he stuck his hand out and introduced himself to
Speaker 3: my dad right, and my dad was like, oh, do
Speaker 3: you have is your dad so and so? And he's like, no,
Speaker 3: that's my uncle. He's like, oh, we work together. And
Speaker 3: they just started chatting.
Speaker 1: So your dad's went, yeah, your dad's all went down
Speaker 1: immediately because of somebody he knows. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying that those type of things hardly warrant a real
Speaker 1: threshold test in relationships, because any of these questions kids
Speaker 1: in dating is like wild. I found out yesterday, hold on,
Speaker 1: I got a day. I found out yesterday somebody I
Speaker 1: dated in high school died, right that. I told her
Speaker 1: they died, But I didn't remind her I dated that. Oh.
Speaker 1: I just didn't mean. What are you talking about? What
Speaker 1: define serious at that age? Well? Was it a high
Speaker 1: school sweetheart? What does that mean when you say serious?
Speaker 1: What does that mean at that level? Did we talk
Speaker 1: about marriage? No? Were we married? No? Were you sexually
Speaker 1: active with her. I was trying to remember that. I
Speaker 1: don't recall. Maybe that's horrible, but I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: think so. I don't think so. I can't get a handy. No, No,
Speaker 1: we had a I think I had a really great relationship.
Speaker 1: I thought we had a Listen. I'm confident in my
Speaker 1: life I have caused unconsciously harmed people. I dated everybody
Speaker 1: ass But I don't think people are aware of that. No, no,
Speaker 1: hell no. They don't think about it until you go
Speaker 1: to therapy, and that brings that shit up. I can
Speaker 1: reflect on my life and know that there are people that,
Speaker 1: maybe on purpose and most of the time not on purpose,
Speaker 1: that I have caused undo real harm on And maybe
Speaker 1: she was one of those people. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: like my ex, my ex wife, right who died. I'm
Speaker 1: confident I caused harm on her. I don't know what it.
Speaker 2: Was, right, she would probably say you did. She would
Speaker 2: probably and give you all kinds of examples. Probably probably likely.
Speaker 2: But maybe it's because.
Speaker 1: Does that make me bad? Though? And great? And really
Speaker 1: I'm speaking in general terms, but like, does that make
Speaker 1: you bad? I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Cause trauma on somebody they can't and it sucks. But
Speaker 2: one could also say it's on them. You know, it's
Speaker 2: not your actions, it's it's their reactions that caused the trauma. Right,
Speaker 2: It's not anything you did, it's just how they reacted
Speaker 2: to it and how they continue to react to it
Speaker 2: that causes the trauma. I don't think it makes you
Speaker 2: a bad person. I'm sure there's people out there.
Speaker 1: That that that.
Speaker 2: That do things on purpose and to cause harm and
Speaker 2: trauma to people, but I think a lot of us
Speaker 2: do it subconsciously. We don't even know that we're doing
Speaker 2: it until way later down the road when they that
Speaker 2: other person has had their therapy s action and they're like,
Speaker 2: you need to go talk to the therapist. Is like,
Speaker 2: you really need to go talk to this person and
Speaker 2: so you can get over it. And then they come
Speaker 2: back and they're like, hey, she's like, no, you did
Speaker 2: some shit to me. Yeah, fucked me up pretty good.
Speaker 2: And I didn't think about it at the time, but
Speaker 2: my therapist says so, And I just wanted to let
Speaker 2: you know that's how you feel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how I feel. We'll come back. But to
Speaker 1: tie that up to what the list is, I got
Speaker 1: cross with her dad, oh wow, and like to the
Speaker 1: point where like he got mad at me, and he
Speaker 1: was a he was a very large presence of an individual,
Speaker 1: even though I was in high school. I mean just
Speaker 1: he was a he was a large man. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: every any trouble I got in with him was all
Speaker 1: because of her getting caught drinking all these things, because
Speaker 1: I wasn't drinking she was. But I got in trouble
Speaker 1: because I was the older one, oh right, and they
Speaker 1: just pinned it on me. And I didn't throw under
Speaker 1: the bus, and but I got cross with him, and
Speaker 1: I didn't mean I did anything wrong. So my point
Speaker 1: being is that those things there's no way to know
Speaker 1: right now. As far as I don't think you, I
Speaker 1: don't think people militia, people sit down and plan to
Speaker 1: do harmful things. I think, like, let's take a classic
Speaker 1: example of like an abuser. I don't think an abuser goes,
Speaker 1: how can I abuse this person today? I think that's
Speaker 1: what they know. They think that's a relationship.
Speaker 2: That's fair to say, that's fair to say. They do
Speaker 2: it all subconsciously. You're the hero of your own story.
Speaker 1: And so I don't I don't think people, well, some
Speaker 1: people too I don't think so. I'm sure there's some people.
Speaker 2: There's there's a small group of people that are just
Speaker 2: fucking hateful assholes that are like, oh, can't I destroy
Speaker 2: this person's world in the.
Speaker 1: Worst case scenario? Right? Hitler thought he was doing good
Speaker 1: right right, So I know he wasn't like, how can
Speaker 1: I hurt these people today? He was believing in the
Speaker 1: cause right right right, So to him, it wasn't bad.
Speaker 1: He wasn't twiddling his thumbs in an evil way. Though
Speaker 1: we know that now, I mean, we knew it. We
Speaker 1: kind of knew it. Then I could go down that
Speaker 1: ratherittle I won't.
Speaker 2: Well, maybe it is all subconscious, regardless of who you are.
Speaker 2: Maybe it is all subconscious. We don't mean to I
Speaker 2: don't mean to hurt anybody. It happens. But again that
Speaker 2: goes back to is it is it something I did
Speaker 2: or is it just just your reaction?
Speaker 1: Okay, so this is okay, I'll go down. This is
Speaker 1: fucking wild. So there's this theory that your subconscious doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: It's just a thing that we have said for a
Speaker 1: long time, that you have the subconscious that to almost
Speaker 1: absolve you from responsibility, and that what happens is if
Speaker 1: you will, you have a case. You have a plethora
Speaker 1: of Marvel characters in your head and the majority of
Speaker 1: them are really bad actors in your mind, and you
Speaker 1: learned you have a managing of traffic air on who
Speaker 1: you let run your life? Okay, sorry, and then you
Speaker 1: say things like subconscious to absolve yourself like it wasn't me,
Speaker 1: it was my subpetious rather than you have these thoughts
Speaker 1: or characters. You and I've kind of talked about this,
Speaker 1: that you have a responsibility to police the thoughts in
Speaker 1: your brain and go, I don't want to be that
Speaker 1: type of person that every now and again that character
Speaker 1: will get out and then it becomes normal. Right. It
Speaker 1: doesn't feel odd the more that that parcharacter is, yes,
Speaker 1: an abuser, think of like.
Speaker 3: An abuser or a serial killer who says, well, they
Speaker 3: were hookers and that's why I was correct.
Speaker 1: Right. If you're choosing, hey, I shouldn't kill anybody regardless
Speaker 1: of what they do, just because I don't agree with it,
Speaker 1: then then yeah, you would know that, Hey, that's not okay.
Speaker 1: What about the child molesters? Can we kill them? Yeah? Hot?
Speaker 1: Take No, I don't think you should kill the child molesters,
Speaker 1: they should go through due process and be handled that way,
Speaker 1: and then what happens in the jailhouse stays in the jailhouse.
Speaker 2: Is that big stand, I think is what it was
Speaker 2: the movie with Rob Schneider, and there's like Rob's like
Speaker 2: he runs the prison now right. I think I've talked
Speaker 2: about this movie on this podcast before as a matter
Speaker 2: of fact, and it's like, all right, from here on out,
Speaker 2: there's no more rape. And it goes one of those
Speaker 2: big things like brings this kid down. He's like, what
Speaker 2: are you in here for? And he's like, I mean
Speaker 2: here for twenty years for selling weed? And he's like, now,
Speaker 2: should this guy right here get raped every.
Speaker 1: Day for selling a little bit of weed? Right?
Speaker 2: No? And then one of the other inmates is like,
Speaker 2: what about the child molesters?
Speaker 1: Can we rape them? And he's like, the punishment fits
Speaker 1: the crime. I'm for it, Go for it. There's a
Speaker 1: comedian that tells I think I've said this on the
Speaker 1: air that he tells a funny thing about like we
Speaker 1: all are pretty lucky that we're not child molesters, because
Speaker 1: if you think about it, when I was little, I
Speaker 1: liked little girls m but I don't need more, but
Speaker 1: I still love grape juice. Yeah, it's fair. We all
Speaker 1: make our decisions. Now, was it your subconscious that said, no,
Speaker 1: I need grape juice? I still like that? Right? At
Speaker 1: some point you made the logical choice to not like
Speaker 1: little girls anymore, but liking you know, sweet tarts was
Speaker 1: still okay, right, and animal crackers. So what you're saying,
Speaker 1: Corbin's we all have a child in Lester inside us,
Speaker 1: but we just keep it down inside. Michael Berger at
Speaker 1: iHeartMedia dot Com. No, you said that. I never said that.
Speaker 1: But with that thought process, it explains why people, you know,
Speaker 1: go off the rocker, and you know, like you hear
Speaker 1: the statements of eyewitnesses going he was a great neighbor.
Speaker 1: There was never a problem until there was the idea
Speaker 1: of like grilling your kid's date, Like what's more important
Speaker 1: grilling and showing that you don't trust or I trust you?
Speaker 1: And it is what it is, Lindsey, I trust you.
Speaker 3: What is it is? What it is?
Speaker 1: That's it hardly matters, right, Okay.
Speaker 3: You'll figure it out matters because you just have to
Speaker 3: have faith in yourself that you raised someone who can
Speaker 3: find good character characteristics in people and bad ones, and
Speaker 3: she'll figure it out on her own.
Speaker 1: That series of questions hardly will decide if they're worth
Speaker 1: being around, because you can pass all the tests. This
Speaker 1: is what I was kind of saying with your dad
Speaker 1: and his if they can't hold a conversation, you can
Speaker 1: pass all the tests and it's still end Exactly. I
Speaker 1: don't know about you. I think I'm a pretty good guy,
Speaker 1: and I've been in many relationships and they ended. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Everything happens for a reason, and it isn't because I
Speaker 1: did or didn't answer a question correctly, or or was
Speaker 1: holding a conversation, or used the salad fork with salad,
Speaker 1: or haven't had sickle cell right. Yeah, I just think
Speaker 1: about these things like as you get older, you can
Speaker 1: do all the right steps and well, Jason Bateman's got
Speaker 1: a really great thing about being an actor, and he's asked,
Speaker 1: how do I become an actor? How do people come
Speaker 1: am an actor? And he's like, you know, the idea
Speaker 1: that you can go to Juilliard and you can have
Speaker 1: the best acting coach and have the best agent and
Speaker 1: still not get signed. Tells me it's about ninety percent luck, right, and.
Speaker 2: Being brought into it as a young child and groomed
Speaker 2: by Hollywood producers.
Speaker 1: But even then, it's luck. How many people How many
Speaker 1: people do you think let take their kids to be actors?
Speaker 2: Right, I'm sure there's a lot of people that want that.
Speaker 2: They see their kid, you know, he's got some kind
Speaker 2: of talent, whether it's singing or acting, like, oh, you
Speaker 2: should hold my mom took me for.
Speaker 3: Oh, Michael J.
Speaker 1: Fox movie.
Speaker 3: They were filming in Chicago, or doing auditions in Chicago,
Speaker 3: and we drove because they were looking for a nine
Speaker 3: year old girl with curly long hair, and I fit
Speaker 3: that mold. It was Life with Mikey was the name.
Speaker 1: I was going to ask what the movie was. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: would you take your kids to do that? Yeah? I would.
Speaker 3: I mean, if it was some if they would.
Speaker 1: Want to go, sure, sure, that's it. That's a fun
Speaker 1: way to word that. If there was something you knew
Speaker 1: is not good for them, would you encourage them to
Speaker 1: do it because they are expressing interest?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I let my kid play football. It's
Speaker 3: you know, not necessarily good for them, right.
Speaker 1: So yes, I would.
Speaker 3: However, I think I would make sure that I was
Speaker 3: there every step of the way.
Speaker 1: So I could be involved. Until you know a movie
Speaker 1: that Ryan Roolds is on and he is like, hey,
Speaker 1: come talk to me over here, and then you not
Speaker 1: have eyes on your kid.
Speaker 2: Or hang out on my trailer for a little bit. Right,
Speaker 2: so you the real Deadpool?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What about you gimp?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Well, them figured out on your own. That's the thing
Speaker 2: about life, man, You got to figure it out on
Speaker 2: your own. You gotta let them figure out on it.
Speaker 2: You can protect your kids or try to protect them
Speaker 2: until the fucking day is done, and then things are
Speaker 2: gonna happen regardless.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And if they're expressing interest in this and they want
Speaker 2: to do it, go for it.
Speaker 1: Have had it.
Speaker 2: That will support you one hundred percent. I'll be there
Speaker 2: if it falls apart. Yeah, but you got to figure
Speaker 2: that on your own. I cannot. I cannot protect you
Speaker 2: all the time, right.
Speaker 1: I just can't. It's impossible. Right. I don't disagree with that.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean I'm knocking on too now. And I
Speaker 1: kind of have the attitude of if you wanted to
Speaker 1: sell drugs, would I let you? Okay, what's the answer.
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Why not? They're showing interest because it's illegal? Well, so
Speaker 1: what we just made an argument both of you did
Speaker 1: that they should be able to do whatever they want.
Speaker 1: I love them, do it well, then sell tic TACs Like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't know.
Speaker 2: Now, you're changing what they want to do, right, right,
Speaker 2: you can't do that. If they want to sell drugs,
Speaker 2: let them do it.
Speaker 1: They've got the question. No, they've got to figure it out.
Speaker 2: They've got to figure it out that like, Okay, this
Speaker 2: is something you want to do, but there are also
Speaker 2: consequences that go with it, and you can't protect.
Speaker 1: Them all the time.
Speaker 2: So if they want to go and fucking sell drugs,
Speaker 2: then go fucking sell drugs.
Speaker 1: Just know that if you get caught, you're fucked.
Speaker 2: You're in jail, and I'll be there to bail you out,
Speaker 2: and I'll go to your court I'll go to your
Speaker 2: courtrooms with you.
Speaker 3: But told them there's consequences.
Speaker 1: Because they have to learn on their own. But it
Speaker 1: doesn't bailing them out show them that there's an out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that you're enabling it.
Speaker 2: Give them that one free pass like my parents told me.
Speaker 2: And if it's only had to been done one, I
Speaker 2: will bail you out of jail one time. After that,
Speaker 2: no more, my friend will do it. I'll bail you
Speaker 2: out of jail one time, and I would do it
Speaker 2: for either one of my kids. If all three of
Speaker 2: them got fucking all three of them got locked up
Speaker 2: at the same time, then shit, all right done, all
Speaker 2: three of you done used your card. But I did
Speaker 2: it once. I belgi out one time. The rest of that,
Speaker 2: you're on your own. You gotta figure, you gotta learn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not far from what you're saying. Like I
Speaker 1: believe you've got to give your kids room to make mistakes,
Speaker 1: but I think I have a responsibility to try and
Speaker 1: keep you out of danger as best as possible, right,
Speaker 1: and sometimes that might mean you're not selling drugs, And
Speaker 1: I don't think you should be a child actor again.
Speaker 2: But this goes back to you know, my daughter's dating
Speaker 2: a black guy.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't want you dating that black guy.
Speaker 1: She'd go fucking do it anyway.
Speaker 2: The more that you do anything that you push against them,
Speaker 2: they're going to do it anyway.
Speaker 1: I just want to help clean you, help that clean
Speaker 1: that up of it. I don't think that's a fair
Speaker 1: comparison to like something that is illegal, like who you
Speaker 1: date that that is what it is, like that there
Speaker 1: is zero wrong there's a zero wrong person, right right right.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying that, like, whatever they want to do,
Speaker 2: they're gonna do it anyway, regardless of what it is,
Speaker 2: whether it's dating somebody of another ethnicity, or whether it's
Speaker 2: selling drugs or selling feet picks on fucking only fans,
Speaker 2: They're gonna do.
Speaker 1: It anyway, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Speaker 1: That is true. I I you and I agree on
Speaker 1: that one hundred percent. But when I signed up to
Speaker 1: be a parent, I took on the responsibility of trying
Speaker 1: to steer them away from those things.
Speaker 2: And that is fantastic until they turn eighteen, and then
Speaker 2: they are they're their own people.
Speaker 1: That's a different conversation with adults.
Speaker 2: And maybe that's why I'm like looking at things differently
Speaker 2: than you can. Your perspective exactly. All my kids are
Speaker 2: all growing up. Every fucking one of them's eighteen and over.
Speaker 1: They're all adults.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And who's just saying they could still get fucked
Speaker 2: up later on down the road.
Speaker 1: But listen, I did my part.
Speaker 2: I did my part and did everything I could to
Speaker 2: make sure that these people grow up to be upstanding citizens.
Speaker 2: You know, now they're adults and there's nothing I can
Speaker 2: read about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's a fun question too, is
Speaker 1: what is an upstanding citizen? Well, and and that's rhetorical
Speaker 1: that I think it's gonna be different for everybody. What
Speaker 1: is an ups Is it someone who goes to church
Speaker 1: every day? Is it someone who pays their taxes? Is
Speaker 1: it someone who? Are you a good person if you
Speaker 1: pay your taxes but also work in arms deals?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Do you pay the taxes on the arms deals? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm saying? Like, what's the movie
Speaker 1: with Denzel Washington and he's the drug guy in New York? No,
Speaker 1: he's that's a police officer. Yeah, still drugs involved, drugs
Speaker 1: are involved, but with t I and uh, he's the
Speaker 1: boss and he goes up to that guy and shoots
Speaker 1: that guy in the other drug guy in the face.
Speaker 3: Was it something brothers?
Speaker 1: No? Anyway, in that movie, he's a good dude, but
Speaker 1: he's also not a good dude. So American gangster. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, he was a bad
Speaker 1: motherfucker in that movie, but a.
Speaker 2: Good person too, exactly for for his community.
Speaker 1: So he was a good person but got there a
Speaker 1: different story. That's what I'm saying. He provided turkeys for
Speaker 1: everybody and Thanksgiving. He took care of people in the
Speaker 1: neighborhood and they insulate. But you could argue he wasn't
Speaker 1: good dude because he made those moves to insulate himself, right,
Speaker 1: kind of like Dexter.
Speaker 3: He was a serial killer, but he only killed bad
Speaker 3: people that.
Speaker 1: Were He wasn't a good dude at all. No, Dexter's
Speaker 1: not a good dude at all, no way, shape or
Speaker 1: form he thought he was. He was that is a
Speaker 1: serial killer. They think they're doing good. These people, these
Speaker 1: people that killed prostitutes, they think they're doing God's work.
Speaker 1: That's what Dexter is doing. He thinks he's doing the
Speaker 1: work of justice without judge or jury. Right, fascinating all
Speaker 1: because you want to know who's got sickle cell. I
Speaker 1: may start doing that with my daughters when they're of age.
Speaker 1: Does he have sickle cell? Right?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Does he like green peppers? There you go, it's the
Speaker 1: hard hitting questions right there. Yeah, that's for me. I
Speaker 1: want to know the things you don't like because I
Speaker 1: can just roll you for it. Okra, He'll never have
Speaker 1: okra in this house.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he eats meatless Fahida's dad. It's a little weird,
Speaker 2: but it's okay.
Speaker 1: It's just onions and peppers. Fas kind of savas you mean,
Speaker 1: grilled peppers and onions, right, gross, show me your greeno
Speaker 1: without showing me your greeno.
Speaker 2: I'm all for it, But give me the meat. But
Speaker 2: the goddamn steak chicken or you know, shrimping there mane.
Speaker 2: I love the combo.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's the best way to do it. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: salsa and sky took. They do shrimp chicken, shrimp chicken
Speaker 1: steak covered in caeso. Yeah. Love that place up there,
Speaker 1: man Oh, it's one of the best mess Mexicans in town.
Speaker 2: I take a road trip up there on a bike
Speaker 2: just because, Yeah, I want to ride go up there,
Speaker 2: and then we hit uh, we hit up the biker
Speaker 2: bars on the way in.
Speaker 1: It's it's easily the best. Yeah, I'm good with this statement.
Speaker 1: The best, if not one of the top ten Mexican
Speaker 1: restaurants in the metro. That's fair.
Speaker 2: And that's not the only one of those. There's like
Speaker 2: two or three other ones, not the same. That's the
Speaker 2: fun thing, same name, same menu.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I've had El Tequila's and been to different ones,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this isn't as good as another one
Speaker 1: I've been to. Yeah, Mexican food, That is all right.
Speaker 1: You guys have a fantastic week. Make sure you ask
Speaker 1: your kids who they're dating, get to know their life events,
Speaker 1: maybe with their life goal once you already see yourself
Speaker 1: in five years, right, yes, you guys, have a great week.
Speaker 1: Bye bye