Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome back to Drunkish. It's me Stephanie Wilder Taylor.
And if you listened yesterday, then you know that we
were talking with my friend Christy Tanner her ig handle
Mocktail Mommy. She's a certified recovery coach. And this is
part two of her story. If you did not listen
to part one, I really suggest you go back because
her story is pretty incredible. But let us get to
the conclusion and we are back with Christy Tanner Mocktail Mommy.
And if you listen to part one, I please go
listen to part one because part one is very, very juicy,
very juicy. So where we left off, where we left
our audience off is things are coming to a head,
right because you get two DUI's in seventy two hours. Yes,
your husband, you guys, are are you officially separated?
Speaker 2: We have official separation papers.
Speaker 1: But he's still taking you to concerts and drinking with you.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's great, it's awesome, very confusing, clear, Yes, we
are still living together.
Speaker 1: Crazy making right.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So yeah, so everything's coming to ahead.
Speaker 3: I get two d us in seventy two hours and
the second one I end up in jail in Gary, Indiana.
I live in Madison, Wisconsin, but I had gotten blacked
out on the fourth of July, and the next day
my husband was like, I'm taking the kids. We cannot
be around you, and quite frankly, I think that was
I hated him at the time, but I'm really grateful
that my children see me that way. But I was like,
I'm not going to be home alone on the fourth
of July. So I started driving to South Haven, Michigan,
where you have to drive through Gary, Indiana, and I'm
listening Stephanie, I have just gotten my first UI. I
feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet.
I am telling myself, I'm never ever drinking again except
for last night. I know I drank last night, but
I'm never doing it again.
Speaker 1: So you have a d the first duy, they didn't
say that you can't drive.
Speaker 2: Oh, it hadn't even been processed. I mean, were in Wisconsin.
Everyone here has a DUI. Everyone's like, oh, one, two,
what else? Like that's like, that's like nobody cares. Everyone
has a DUI here. That's why.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know this, but Wisconsin is
the number one drinking state in the United States. I
did not know that, Oh, Stephanie, forty one of the
drunkest counties in the United States are right here. We
are the drunkest state. We drink more alcohol per capita
than anywhere else. It's banana zones. So like it was a.
Speaker 2: Huge deal to me, but not a huge deal to
the police because they do it all the time.
Speaker 3: I don't know anyway, this hasn't even really been processed
because the next day is the fourth of July, and
then I get another duy am.
Speaker 2: I supposed to be driving, probably not except for I am.
Speaker 3: And I'm listening to The Bubble Hour, the recovery podcast
in McFadden love Her, and I'm like listening to these
people's stories and I'm like, oh my god, this woman's
telling my story. And I'm bawling on the highway and
I'm like, yes, this is so good. And I'm like, oh,
I gotta get gas. And i picked up a bunch
of wine. I told myself it was just for the host.
Speaker 2: It wasn't for the host. I ended up drinking on
the highway.
Speaker 3: My best friend calls me while I'm drinking and driving
and is like, I know that you're drunk driving and
I need you to pull over.
Speaker 2: I cannot listen to you kill yourself on the phone
and something.
Speaker 3: I was like whatever, but something she said, like it
got through to me right, Like I heard the terror
in her voice. And so I stopped driving in the
middle of the highway. I parked my car.
Speaker 2: In the middle of the t Did she meant Christy,
I don't think so. I think it meant pull off.
Speaker 1: Side of the road.
Speaker 2: Side of the road would have been so much better.
But I was like, you're right, I should stop driving
right now, and so it I just parked my car
in the middle of the fucking highway at ten pm
in the middle of a huge rainstorm.
Speaker 3: In Gary, Indiana. And so I don't know how much longer,
not very long. I see police lights in the back
of my thing, and I'm like, my life is now over.
Someone please kill me now, Like I don't even know
how this goes. I don't remember being in jail last time.
Speaker 2: So they pulled me over.
Speaker 3: I have a point two five, which is three times
the legal limit to be driving, but not your highest
means no, And I'm like, see.
Speaker 2: This isn't even that bad.
Speaker 1: We're not set records here, folks.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you should have seen it before. This is nothing.
Speaker 3: I tried to show them some yoga posas to prove
that I was really not that bad.
Speaker 2: So I was like, do you believe that I can
do this? What's this you know? And they're like, ma'am right.
Speaker 3: So I go to jail and Gary and they call
my parents because my ex husband, we're stuon to be
ex husband is not real thrilled, and my parents.
Speaker 2: Drive six hours to come pick up their thirty four
year old mom daughter from jail. And when I saw
my parents' faces, I have never seen a look like
that on my father's face, and I hope I never
do again. I've never been so ashamed.
Speaker 3: They had to pay so much money for me to
get out of jail, they had to get my car unimpounded.
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah, all this stuff. Everyone was furious. Everyone
was furious with me. I was furious with me, And
so we have a six hour, silent drive home in
the back of my parents' car, and for the first time,
I was like, I do not got this, and I
do not think I'm going to be able to figure
this out, and I'm afraid.
Speaker 4: That I'm going to die if I keep drinking, and
sometimes I think that's what I want.
Speaker 2: And I said, I can't imagine going to rehab away
from my kids, like that's all I want to do
is be a good num. And so I found a
rehab that.
Speaker 3: Is about ninety minutes away from Madison, and they allow
FaceTime with your kids, and they allowed my kids to
come see me every Sunday, and so I said, okay,
I'm gonna go. My daughter was seven months old.
Speaker 2: I had to stop breastfeeding her just like, just like that,
I was like, okay, well that's done. There's like so
many things that ended so quickly kind of I didn't
have time to process. So I go to rehab.
Speaker 3: July fifteenth, and I got out of rehab sixty one
days later.
Speaker 1: So you didn't stay the whole time.
Speaker 2: I was gonna go for a month.
Speaker 3: And when I first got there, really it was a
twenty eight day program and I ended up doing a
second month. So I had really gone to rehab thinking
Stephanie that if I could figure out my marriage, that
I would figure out my drinking.
Speaker 2: In that order.
Speaker 3: And in rehab it became really clear that my marriage
was not something I was going to be able to
save I did have an opportunity to save myself, though,
but I was going to have to make a choice,
and it couldn't be both.
Speaker 2: And that's not true for everyone, but that was true
for me. They made it really clear to me that.
Speaker 3: Going back to my home where I had gotten so
addicted and been so sick and had so many.
Speaker 2: Traumatic experiences.
Speaker 3: Was probably not a great idea and it probably wouldn't
keep me sober.
Speaker 2: So when I got home from.
Speaker 3: Rehab, I moved out. I moved down the street into
from our ten thousand square foot home, and I got
a one bedroom apartment and I lived there and we
had a full time nanny, and my husband and I
changed our separation to a divorce, and we did something
called nesting, so he would stay home with the kids
for two days. I'd be at my apartment. I'd be
at home with the kids for two days, and he
would go to his cabin, and that's sort of what
we did. We told our kids at Christmas we were
getting a divorce and I was trying to stay sober,
and they so funny. Now he's twelve, my oldest. When
I was in rehab, theyse come visit, right, and it
was this big it looks like huge mansion. So he
has told everyone for five years that my mom lived
at the White House. She lived there, and people are like, no,
she did not, and he was like, yes, Paul, she
lived at the White House. So my kids think that
I went to rehab at the White House, and it's fine.
Speaker 2: But I was.
Speaker 3: Really open with my children about why I was there
in terms that seemed appropriate.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: I was like, I am here to learn how to
take care of myself a better way so that I
can show it better for you. Right, I'm here to
learn how to be a better mom, And that's really
what this is about.
Speaker 2: I'm here to learn how to have.
Speaker 3: An honest connection with myself so that I can have
an honest connection with other people. I'm here to learn
how to look myself in the mirror without hating the
person that I see, because I've never really been able
to do that.
Speaker 2: I'm here to learn.
Speaker 3: What matters in a person that has nothing to do
with the outside, because that always seems so important, and
I did a lot of those things.
Speaker 1: Was that the last time you drank it was, what
do you think made the difference? Like when you came
home because in the past, all the times you've been
hospitalized or gone to jail, like you went back to
drinking right away. Do you think it was that you
were separated from your husband? Do you think you were
in a pattern where it just that's what you knew
to do together?
Speaker 3: And you me what it was like our cycle, right,
it was like we drank together, but also I drink
at him. I drink at our problems. I wasn't drinking
to like get rid of the problems. I was drinking
because I was mad. There are problems. So without resolving
any problems, how are we gonna res How am I
gonna stop drinking?
Speaker 2: I also.
Speaker 3: When I, you know, the six months before my drinking stopped,
I didn't care that I was an alcoholic. And so
this sort of fantastical ending in a fancy neighborhood where
this doesn't happen. And now this mom we don't know
who looks pretty normal is like m I A and rehab.
It was a story, right, and so like I didn't
have the opportunity to come home and be like, oh cute,
I was that like camp. Nobody thought I was at Camp, Stephanie.
Everyone knew I was in rehab, so it wasn't like
I could come home and be like, oh, I'm just
like turning a new leaf on my health journey, because
it wasn't cool to be sober. I certainly didn't think
it was cool. But that's exactly why when I got home,
I did things immediately. I took action immediately. I did
not leave rehab until I had a physical apartment that
I knew why I was moving into within two weeks.
Speaker 2: Because if I didn't.
Speaker 3: Have these things set up and actions to take, my
crazy brain will come up with some other solution that
won't be good. I didn't trust myself what you said
about rehab like it is the hardest work I've ever done.
Let me be so clear, I've never cried so much.
I've never done so much painful things. I've never had
to check my ego at the door. I've never had
to expose these at me that I've thought I would
take to the grave.
Speaker 2: But it also.
Speaker 3: Was so foundational for just learning how to be a
person on your own, and how to learn how to
take care of yourself when you're not mom, when you're
not work, when you're not a wife, when you're not a,
this is the first time in ten years I felt
like Christy, not somebody's wife, not somebody's mom, not the
caretaker of the home. All of a sudden, I was
just me and it was like, is that ever enough?
Could it be? What would that even look or feel like?
But I was terrified to leave rehab because I had
relapsed a billion times before. How is this not going
to have the same ending that my other rehab had
I've already failed before. The difference was I wanted it.
I was tired of living in denial for so long.
I was tired of lying to myself. I knew my
lies and they soak me in shame every day, which
colors how I show up for the rest of my life.
And so during rehab, I did, I mean just so
much work when we were well, get I'll just that
is my rehab timeline. Wow, And you got up and
told your whole story. These are things I had just like,
never admitted and done. And the thing is when you
can take accountability for what you've done, apologize when you can,
and then do something different about it, it makes you feel.
Speaker 2: Different about yourself.
Speaker 3: And so I get out of rehab and I come
home and I move out. And that's why, that's exactly
why I started Mocktail Mommy Stephanie. I didn't start it
because I thought it would be cool. I didn't think
I was gonna make friends. I didn't know that there
could be like some joyful part of this sober Instagram.
I knew that I needed accountability and I needed everyone
to know that I was an alcoholic, because otherwise, if
the checkout person at Target didn't know and they scan
my thing, I could be off to the races again.
Speaker 2: And I didn't.
Speaker 3: Trust myself, so I did crazy things like tell the Internet,
and I went to ninety meetings in sixty days. I
went to AA three times a day. I joined all
the groups. I did yoga. I could not could not,
could not figure out how to mom and wife and
caretake a home and recover. And you know what, I
just want to say, I don't think there's any shame
in that. And I think there's so many women, especially
who feel like they cannot go get the help they
really really need because of this mom guilt. And I
just want to say, if that's you, or if you
felt like that, that this is the most selfless gift
that I have ever given my children and ever will
is that I went away for two months because now
they have a future with me, They have a future,
right and I couldn't guarantee that, and now I can.
It's incredible, but it was hard work. And then I
come home and I'm like, there's this nanny at my house.
I'm getting divorced, Like what is my role at the
house now I'm a part time parent and part time
I don't know what I am. And then the pandemic
hits an AA rooms shut down, and I'm nine months
sober and all of my stuff is falling apart, and
I move out of my house the day before the
pandemic is announced, and then.
Speaker 2: All of my children are homeschooled, so right, So then
I'm teaching virtual first grade, virtual four K and have
a two year old and a one year old at
home and no one can come over and there's no
waya rooms. And the fact that I didn't relapse is
a miracle. I cried every single day for eighteen months.
That is not a joke. I cried myself to sleep
every single night for eighteen months because I lost everything, Stephanie.
And that is what it took for me. It took
me losing the marriage, the house, almost losing my kids,
almost losing my life, losing relationships with people, hating myself.
It took everything.
Speaker 3: Because I was I was so scared to just be
me and have to feel real feelings. And now the
fact that I can, I can feel real feelings.
Speaker 2: I have this immense sense of freedom and gratitude.
Speaker 3: I can only feel sorrow as much as I've felt joy. Right, Like,
if you won't allow yourself to be sad, how are
you ever gonna know what it really feels like to
be so so so grateful? It has changed everything for me.
It was not easy. We got divorced and things got worse.
This isn't how I thought it would all play out, right.
I was sort of really displaced for a while. I
couldn't figure out, Like what do I do?
Speaker 2: I have all these little kids, so I can't go
get a job, But like what am I outside of
this thing?
Speaker 3: And I wrote and I read, I read memoirs and
I did yoga. I started traveling by myself regularly, sober
single solo travel is like my love language. I will
get on an airplane every six to eight weeks and
go somewhere. I rent an airbnb, I go hiking, I
do journaling.
Speaker 2: I really like spending time with myself. Stephanie, I drink
because I hated spending time with myself. Before I could
not get farther far enough away from myself. And now
it's so weird.
Speaker 3: God, I've been single for almost seven years and I'm
raising these kids.
Speaker 2: And for the longest time I thought I need a
man to like fill these voids.
Speaker 3: No, No, I need travel, I need journaling, I need sunrises. Dude,
men are not competing with each other. They are competing
with my piece. Like I feel like.
Speaker 2: Removing alcohol removed the thing that kept me small.
Speaker 3: It removed the thing that kept me scared. It removed
the thing that kept me controllable. It removed the thing
that hindered my creativity, my willingness to try. Like it
took all my good stuff away, but it was sold
to me like this is a celebration and all the
best people get it. And I'm here to tell you that,
like what alcohol promises is what sobriety delivers.
Speaker 1: God is so true. That is really really true. How
do you think sober parenting is is different? You know,
because you still have four young kids. How old is
your oldest? Now you said.
Speaker 3: Twelve, Yeah, so he's turning thirteen. So now they are seventh, fifth, fourth,
and forth grade.
Speaker 2: And that's a lot. It is a.
Speaker 3: Lot, yeah, yeah, a lot easier than when they were
all in car seats.
Speaker 2: Oh my dear baby, Jesus, that was so hard.
Speaker 1: But how do you like, I have patience and and
you know, well, I guess you get your escape from
a little from the traveling, But how do you stay serene?
Speaker 2: I don't always.
Speaker 3: I mean, let's just be honest, Like, I think the
first two years that I was single parenting, I was
that's probably pretty rough around the edges.
Speaker 2: I think I.
Speaker 3: Did a lot of crying. I never I couldn't even
hide it from my kids. I would just burst into tears.
Now I cannot tell you the differences that I see
in my relationships with my children and like the connection
we have. Part of that is age, but a huge
part of that is the environment. There has never been
alcohol in my home that I live in right now.
Speaker 2: That is a rule.
Speaker 3: No one's allowed to have it here. I'm not interested
and I don't care. And why well, my kids know
that I'm allergic to alcohol. I'm allergic and it makes me,
it makes me do things I'm not proud of, and
I don't feel good about that, and so I don't drink.
Speaker 2: Has it.
Speaker 3: Come up in discussion all the time. I don't hide
it from my kids that I'm sober. Drinking is everywhere
in Wisconsin. Our families drink. My parents drink wine. Are
That's what we did at every holiday. It's very much
a part of socializing here. So then it's like, well,
are people who drink bad? No, people that drink are
not bad. But here's what I do want you to know.
If someone's been drinking, and I don't care who it is.
I don't care if it's grandpa or dad, or mommy
or your babysitter. Someone's been drinking alcohol, you don't. You
don't get it in a car with them. No, and
you don't have No. We all did that, Stephanie. I
don't do that anymore. My kids ask questions now that
they never asked before. My kids are really aware of
what alcohol is. I took my kids out to Mexican
place a couple months ago, and it's called uh Ancho
Nagabe and it says tacos tequila and Tamali's or something,
and my son says, what's tequila? And I and he's nine,
and I'm like, oh, that's alcohol.
Speaker 2: And he's like, oh, Mommy, we cannot go here. They
have alcohol. And I was like, oh my gosh, honey,
I don't know if I failed to mention there's probably
alcohol most of the places that we've been. I just
don't drink it anymore. And he was like, chesting, Now
there's a thought you could.
Speaker 3: Go somewhere that has these things, which when I first
got sober, I thought, I'm never gonna go out to
eat again. I'm never gonna go on a trip again,
never gonna get on an airplane again. I'm never gonna
have a girl's night again. I'm never gonna anything ever again.
Speaker 2: That's not true.
Speaker 3: Now I do all of it right, But sober parenting,
I can't tell you how good it feels. Because now
that my son is getting older, right, he's gonna be
starting to be around this kind of stuff. And I
can guarantee you that seven years ago I didn't wake
up for a fire alarm, much less my phone buzzing
that my child needs a ride home. I will always
and forever be available for my children. I will always
and forever offer them a ride home without questions, always
and forever. That was one thing my parents did in
high school that I value and appreciate so much. They
besides that one time in sophomore year when they picked
me up and it was a shit show the first time,
but they always offered me for my friends their phone
number to come get us from any party that we
were uncomfortable at, and they would drive us home with
no questions. I will offer that to my children. But
I will also make them talk to me about alcohol.
I think it's important. I think it's something we need
to talk about. I think it's thing that became a
problem because generations before us did not talk about it.
Speaker 2: We thought it was okay. I mean, in the eighties
people were still like smoking school when you're pregnant, you know.
So I think I'm really looking forward to the differences
in like holidays.
Speaker 3: My holidays used to be about staying up late with
the champagne to assemble the presence from Santa and blah
blah blah. And now, like I decided last year, we
weren't doing presents and instead we went hiking in Arizona,
and we made memories.
Speaker 2: I can't tell you. My kids will not remember what
they got for their birthday this year, but they will
always remember that trip, always, just the five of us.
Did people think I was nuts for hiking alone with
four children. Yes, people think I'm insane, But you know what,
I'm only insane enough to do it because I'm sober,
and I can handle it. I can handle anything sober.
I could not handle one wrong move when I was drinking,
you know. And now I just feel like, oh my god,
what a gift to live this way and to get
to show my children that there is an option. There
is a choice, Like you can live a connected life
or a disconnected one. You can choose what you want,
you can.
Speaker 3: I mean, they'll make their own choices, but I feel really,
really proud that they will have a sober home to
compare other places to I didn't have a sober home
growing up. You know, it wasn't alcoholic, but wine was
everywhere all the time, and still is. My parents, you know,
live in Naples and drink a cabernet on the golf
cart and play pick a ball all day. Like that's
like what they do. That's never going to be me.
I don't want it to be right.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm a bit ahead of you. So I've been sober.
Uh what's this March? It'll be seventeen years in May.
And I set all the things that you're saying right now,
and then they did come to pass. So it's real
and it's beautiful. And I have been that mom that's
available and gets a text and wakes up when there's
a text in the middle of the night and has
gone to pick up my kids when they did not
chose to not drive the car. I mean, it's real,
and I never stop being grateful for it. And I'm
so so happy I quit when I did, because and
we were talking about this before we started recording in
the first place. But and I think it's really important
to kind of reiterate that just because your story, just
because you're drinking, took you to some really dark places,
and maybe a person could see that and go, well,
I've never that's never happened to me. I've never gotten
one dui. Well, I never got a dui. I've driven
drunk a lot of times. I mean, there but for
the grace of God, I can't imagine anybody who quits drinking.
Who can honestly be like, I've never driven drunk, Like
if you an alcoholic, you just didn't get caught. So
I think that had I alcoholism is progressive.
Speaker 2: And so as recovery.
Speaker 1: It really is, it really is, And like, the more
you drink, the more there's there are chances for bad
shit to happen. It's a very simple equation. So you
could either choose when you start seeing the writing on
the wall, you can either choose to like be done.
It doesn't mean that you are less of an alcoholic,
or that somebody that doesn't get sober at that point
that they think they should is more of an alcoholic.
Speaker 2: It just is.
Speaker 1: Addiction is just addiction. And I think that somebody like
you telling this intense a story and being so so honest,
it doesn't mean that you're the only one. It means
that you're the person who's willing to actually talk about
those feelings and that shame. And I think that that
is the only way that we take away the shame
for other people who are feeling the same way you do,
doing the same things you were doing, but just not
talking about it. So I really thank you.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, thank you, I mean thank you. Think
like this is happening because we're all sharing. We all
recovery by sharing, right.
Speaker 3: Only the scariest place to know as an addict is
your own mind by yourself.
Speaker 2: Don't do that, right, like tell somebody the crazy thing
going on, because somebody else has that same thing too,
and they'll be like, oh my god, my addict things
like that too, right, And.
Speaker 1: That's like I think that one of the things that
I A lot of people maybe that listen to this
show might be like, wow, I would just never go
to like a twelve step meeting, you know. And the
thing is, that's fine, and they don't have to. But
the thing that they're missing out on is this. It's
like this kind of it's people telling their story. It's
hearing somebody else say the thing that you're like, oh shit,
me too. I felt that way, and there's nothing to
me that is just that is a drug, that feeling
of relating, hearing something in somebody who might be so
different than you and live such a different life, but
then hear a thought that You're like, I thought I
was the only person who's ever thought that or ever
had that kind of shame or ever meant to have
to drinks and then been on a date with your
husband and gotten blackout, drunk and embarrassed. And I mean,
for me, a semi regular occurrence was going out for
a regular date night on a Tuesday and you know,
and and then having a bunch of drinks and not
realizing and then getting really drunk and then picking a
fight and then screaming at him out like walking down
the street. I mean I did that to him on
a vacation. We went to Italy and I got drunk
at like a pizza place. I do not even remember
what I got mad at about, but I was storming
off down like ruining vacations like what, oh is that?
Speaker 2: That was me? Like that, what do you mean? And
that was me? I thought that's what vacations were for.
But like arguing with each other the next morning and
drinking bloody Mary's to make it go away, right right right?
But it's yeah, no, it's like storytelling and connecting. It's all.
It's just releasing of the shame.
Speaker 3: I think, like the shame and guilt spiral keep so
many people stuck, and shame can't survive in the light, right,
Like it's shame is allergic to the light, right it.
Secrets can't survive in the light either. So I came
up with this motto a couple of years ago. Keep
no secrets, Carry no shame, and that is that is
how I live my life.
Speaker 2: I have it tattoo it on my rib cage. I
love it, and I have it on a big sign,
and that is sort of my filter.
Speaker 3: For is this how I am living in alignment with
who I want to be and who I am like,
keep no secrets, Carry no shame. I the number one
person I cannot keep secrets from is myself. I have
a therapist, I have an addiction counselor, because I've been
sober for almost seven years and people are like, aren't
you like done with that? Here's the thing is like,
I think it keeps getting better and more interesting.
Speaker 2: The first year was like physical sobriety, like I had shakes,
I had night sweats, I had post acute withdrawal symptoms
for almost three.
Speaker 3: Years, wow from drinking, Wow wedding through my clothes, changing
meds like it was a brutal, brutal process. The first
year was just physical and the second year was like
mental sobriety, like Okay, I'm my clarity.
Speaker 2: Is coming back. I can pause before I have to
like send the email to the principle. I can, you know,
have somebody look it over.
Speaker 3: And then the third year was like this spiritual recovery
and it's like, oh my god, wait.
Speaker 2: Wait is that? Do I feel peace in my body
right now? What is bad? Wait?
Speaker 3: That is kind of intoxicating right Like I do get
like a high from being like doing yoga.
Speaker 2: It's so fun. But it's like I never would have
believed it. I thought I was missing out. I thought
all the cool people had something I didn't have.
Speaker 3: And now I don't feel that way. There is nothing
attractive about alcohol to me. There's nothing for me there.
I've tried it, like it was my best friend.
Speaker 2: Tried a little bit. You had a good run. I
had a pretty good run.
Speaker 3: I mean I drank enough for like me and most
of our neighbors, so I just wanted to save some
for everyone else.
Speaker 2: Like you know, it's just like that's how I feel too, though.
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't quit till I was forty two,
But in my mind, I'm like, you know what, like
now I look at that and I go that, well,
I think at the time, I thought that was old
like that, I can't believe I didn't get sober younger.
But now that I'm fifty nine, I'm like, wow, I
was young, like I had but I didn't have much
more drinking to do. Like, I don't have any regrets.
I'm like, I left it all on the table, you know,
drinking all the alcohol that was ever coming my way.
And I know people get sober really young and good
for them, but like I had to drink a lot
of alcohol to realize that I was done.
Speaker 3: And that's the thing people say too, is like, how
don't you give up? If I tried and feel one
hundred times before it worked one hundred I couldn't string
to get together forty eight hours to save my life
for years.
Speaker 2: Right, but you can't quit quitting, Right, You're worth it
to keep trying to quit. And every day that you
do it is a day of experience. You're never starting
from square one, You're always starting from a place of experience.
I really believe that I.
Speaker 3: Had to drink every single drop of alcohol that I
did to get me to quit.
Speaker 2: That's how much it took for me.
Speaker 3: The limit was I had to find rock bottom you
may not have to please.
Speaker 2: Get off at floor one. Please, you do not have
to ride to the top and then plummet. You could try.
I do not recommend it, right, Christy.
Speaker 1: Tanner mocktail Mommy, tell us, like, what are you doing?
Are you? Are you promoting anything?
Speaker 2: Are you?
Speaker 1: So you can follow her on Instagram for you? Have
you got some nice sober content on there?
Speaker 2: Oh? Thanks? Yeah, you know, I was doing something for
a little bit.
Speaker 3: So on my five years sober July of twenty twenty four,
I opened Wisconsin's first and only non alcoholic bottle shop
called Sober Social. So I ran it for up until
three weeks ago. It was open for Jeshi of two years.
And I built that space because I felt like sobriety
needed a physical third place that you didn't have to
identify as an alcoholic or in a program to.
Speaker 2: Know that you could go and be welcome. Turns out
like I liked.
Speaker 3: I love non alcoholic drinks because I think that's a
really you know, drinking is like the gateway to partying
and socializing. So like, great, give me a champagne glass
with any champagne that's good, and I'm cool to go.
I'm all about the vibe it. I actually don't really
care what's in my glass, which is fascinating, but I
felt like not having something in my hand always led
back to the first question at every party, being like
what can I get you to drink?
Speaker 2: And bbing, Like do I.
Speaker 3: Tell them that I just got two DUIs and out
of rehab or like should I just be like I
drink water because I'm boring? Like I couldn't figure out
what to do, and I was like, where do people
talk about this? So I opened the store is six
hundred and seventy seven square feet, super adorable.
Speaker 2: I had a great year and then you know non
alcoholic products like added such a good job introducing them
that I made my business unnecessary to have its very
own location, and I'm pretty proud of that. But that's
so so it was like, uh yeah, like it's sober social.
Speaker 3: It's about socializing, bridging the gap between sobriety and society.
I have that tagline, uh like whatever trademarked, and I
see myself doing something in the sober space right retreats,
weekend events. I have a trailer that I can mobile
mocktails with. I just like have to take a beat
and figure out what I want to do because I
realized I don't really want to run a store. I
really just want to tell stories with people. I'm not
super good at inventory, but I'm really great.
Speaker 2: At talking to people. So I don't know what I'm
going to do for like life and.
Speaker 3: A job and stuff like that, but I'm gonna still
be living, happy, sober and out loud. And it finally
feels foundational and not like uh, not like a description.
Speaker 2: It's just part of me. It's just part of it's
just who I am.
Speaker 1: Well, it's been so nice having you, And for anybody
that just listened to part two, please go back and
listen to part one. Do yourself a favor, and I
just thank you again for sharing your story. And I
will see everybody next week.
Speaker 2: Okay, do it's good. It's good. I'm just going. I
just calling yet
Speaker 1: Getting my dargist time you come in the