Speaker 1: The Upper Room presents so you want to stay married?
Speaker 1: To Day's episode in this study of family life in
Speaker 1: the modern home is Romantic Love Versus Marital Love, Especially
Speaker 1: written and produced for The Upper Room by Carldon E. Morse,
Speaker 1: featuring Jeanette Nolan as Mary, Francis X. Bushman as the Minister,
Speaker 1: and Thomas Collins as Howard. This is the story of
Speaker 1: Howard Andrews and Mary Andrews, his wife, and how they
Speaker 1: suddenly came to a stumbling block.
Speaker 2: In their marriage.
Speaker 3: Please, this is my story, my story in my wife's story.
Speaker 3: Do you mind? No, of course not, mister Andrews. Thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm Howard Andrews. Come here, Mary. This is my wife, Mary.
Speaker 4: Yes, Mary Andrews.
Speaker 3: You see you can tell by her voice that she's
Speaker 3: a fine person, normally, a happy person, a splendid girl
Speaker 3: for a man to.
Speaker 4: Be married hard. That isn't the story, but it is.
Speaker 3: It's the main part of the story, because if you
Speaker 3: weren't a good wife, fine person, then the fact that
Speaker 3: we had marital difficulties would be so easily explained. But
Speaker 3: you are a nice person, and you said to yourself
Speaker 3: that I'm not entirely an overbore.
Speaker 4: Darling, you have wonderful qualities.
Speaker 3: Well, there you are two normally intelligent, reasonable persons of
Speaker 3: normally happy dispositions.
Speaker 2: What happened?
Speaker 3: We suddenly couldn't get along.
Speaker 4: It was almost as though I woke up one morning
Speaker 4: and discovered nothing was right between Howard and me any more.
Speaker 4: It's a terrible shock to suddenly realize your marriage is
Speaker 4: just about on the rocks. It well, it shakes the
Speaker 4: girl clear down to her feet.
Speaker 3: Does things to a man too well. This particular morning,
Speaker 3: I walked away from the house to catch my bus
Speaker 3: to the office. I tried to figure out what was
Speaker 3: the matter, but I couldn't make head nor tails of it.
Speaker 3: I knew I loved Mary, and I felt pretty sure
Speaker 3: she still loved me. But I also knew that if
Speaker 3: we kept on the way we were going, we'd break up.
Speaker 3: Out of sheer misery, I guess Mary was standing over
Speaker 3: the breakfast dishes in the kitchen sink, feeling just as
Speaker 3: confused and.
Speaker 4: Unhappy I was. For the first time in the ten
Speaker 4: months we'd been married, it crept into my mind that
Speaker 4: maybe I'd made a mistake in marrying Howard. It made
Speaker 4: me guilty and ashamed, But there.
Speaker 3: It was exactly well as I said, we had no
Speaker 3: one to turn to. That means, of course, that we
Speaker 3: had no church affiliations, oh like almost everyone else. Both
Speaker 3: Mary and I had gone to churches children and young people,
Speaker 3: but we'd drifted away. I mentioned churches because as I
Speaker 3: walked along on my way to my bus, I passed
Speaker 3: one of our neighborhood churches and the front door was open.
Speaker 3: Without even quite knowing what I was doing or why
Speaker 3: I walked inside.
Speaker 4: Howard still doesn't know why he did it. He thinks
Speaker 4: it wasn't a natural thing for him to do, because
Speaker 4: he hadn't been inside of the church for seven or
Speaker 4: eight years. But I know differently, it was his subconscious,
Speaker 4: his inner mind, guiding him to a place where it
Speaker 4: knew from childhood experience that he could find comfort and
Speaker 4: a friendly, helping hand.
Speaker 3: Maybe Mary's answer is right. I still don't know, but
Speaker 3: I do know that a man came and sat down
Speaker 3: on the pew beside me and introduced himself the pastor
Speaker 3: of the church. And the first thing I knew I
Speaker 3: was pouring out my troubles and the flood of words.
Speaker 3: And before I'd left, he'd made me promise to bring
Speaker 3: Mary and come to his study in the back of
Speaker 3: the church on the following Sunday.
Speaker 4: Afternoon, three o'clock.
Speaker 3: Yes, three o'clock Sunday afternoon.
Speaker 2: A oh, come in, come right in. I've been waiting
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 3: Thank you, doctor Hunt. This is my wife, Mary, Mary,
Speaker 3: a beautiful name.
Speaker 4: Thank you. Are we keeping you from a service?
Speaker 2: Not at all? Our organist is preparing for the evening
Speaker 2: service and a wedding rehearsal to Pollo.
Speaker 4: Why it's beautiful.
Speaker 2: Won't you sit down and make yourselves comfortable than try
Speaker 2: to let the tension of every day living slide away
Speaker 2: from you for a little forget everything else and just listen.
Speaker 2: It's a little hard to know just how to begin
Speaker 2: this little service which I want to perform this afternoon.
Speaker 2: It's rather than you and my experience as well as
Speaker 2: in yours. As I've thought and studied your problems, it
Speaker 2: seems to me that perhaps you two are not familiar
Speaker 2: with the fundamental elements which hold marriage together. Pitifully few
Speaker 2: young married people do know. And now I'm going to
Speaker 2: talk about a marriage tie which I believe affects you
Speaker 2: and your difficulties. Most intimately, it's the role of love
Speaker 2: in marriage. Romantic love is sweet and beautiful and is
Speaker 2: the stuff dreams are made of. It is at its
Speaker 2: very height when a girl and boy know the least
Speaker 2: about each other. It's a pure, happy emotion, unencumbered, unhindered
Speaker 2: by truth or fact. In romantic love, a man is
Speaker 2: everything a girl thinks he is. A girl is idealized
Speaker 2: by her lover, far beyond the perfection any woman as
Speaker 2: yet attained in reality. But that is the love given
Speaker 2: to a young when they stand before the altar and
Speaker 2: make their vow. How beautiful, how blissful, but how unstable.
Speaker 2: Because romantic love is untried love. It's the theory of love,
Speaker 2: love that hasn't been put to the test. And when
Speaker 2: it is put to the test, and this is something
Speaker 2: young people just do not realize. When romantic love is
Speaker 2: put to the test, it melts away like mist in
Speaker 2: the sun. But it doesn't go without leaving something in
Speaker 2: its place.
Speaker 3: Mm I should.
Speaker 2: Say it doesn't if there has been an honest effort
Speaker 2: on the part of the girl and the boy to
Speaker 2: unite their lives. As romantic love diminishes, conjugal love, enduring love,
Speaker 2: realistic love takes root and grows and grows and grows,
Speaker 2: and in a true marriage that love is still flourishing
Speaker 2: and throwing out new tendrils of sympathy and understanding and
Speaker 2: affection and sweetness to the very end of life itself.
Speaker 2: And there, I think is where your trouble lies. You
Speaker 2: two have been under a spell of enchantment. You gave
Speaker 2: your vowels, and have been living in the rosy, ecstatic
Speaker 2: glow of romantic club. Now suddenly the tree is ending.
Speaker 2: The illusion you have built about each other in the
Speaker 2: excitement of first love is fading. The scales are dropping
Speaker 2: from your eyes, and you are for the very first
Speaker 2: time seeing each other or as you really are. And
Speaker 2: you've both been under a terrible strain the last few months,
Speaker 2: because each of you has been trying to live up
Speaker 2: to the other's idealistic conception of the other instead of
Speaker 2: being yourself Howard all your life until you married Mary.
Speaker 2: But answers are that you're quite outspoken against anything of
Speaker 2: which you heartily disapproved. You couldn't possibly have lived with
Speaker 2: Mary a year and a half without having her do
Speaker 2: something of which you disapproved. And yet I don't suppose
Speaker 2: in all that time you will said one word of disapproval.
Speaker 2: One word of dissent. Now, that's not good for a man.
Speaker 2: It builds up resentments and dissatisfaction within himself, and so
Speaker 2: against your will, rebellions have set up within you. Mary.
Speaker 2: You probably have not once lost your temper since uniting
Speaker 2: your life with Howard. You have probably made desperate efforts
Speaker 2: never to let him see you any less beautiful than
Speaker 2: the day he proposed to you. Why the strain has
Speaker 2: become almost unbearable. You can't relax, You can't enjoy a
Speaker 2: moment's peace, because if you fear that you're going to
Speaker 2: spoil Howard's picture of you, well, Mary, if you keep
Speaker 2: that up, you're not only going to wonder if your
Speaker 2: marriage is not a mistake, you're going to develop a
Speaker 2: violent dislike for him. Marriage is meant to be, and
Speaker 2: should be a comfortable haven for two people. Both have
Speaker 2: to work it it is, but it should never require
Speaker 2: either the man or woman to strain or live on naturally.
Speaker 2: And that's where realistic love is so much finer than
Speaker 2: romantic love. In the end, you two haven't lost love,
Speaker 2: not at all. Instead, you are merely changing your gay
Speaker 2: party dress of Saturday night for the more practical workaday
Speaker 2: clothes of Monday morning. Howard Andrews, will you stand up please?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Mary Andrews, will you rise and stand beside your husband? Yes,
Speaker 2: Howard and Mary. For the last few months there has
Speaker 2: been great turmoil in your lives, and especially in your spirits.
Speaker 2: The first murmuring of the thunder of discontent has sounded
Speaker 2: in your souls, and the first flicker of the lightning
Speaker 2: of rebellion has flashed there, and the first rain drops
Speaker 2: of the tears of disillusion have fallen on the desolation.
Speaker 2: You are beginning to fear lay ahead. And now this
Speaker 2: afternoon we are here to cleanse, to sweep out, to
Speaker 2: dust away all that is not good and true and wholesome,
Speaker 2: so that those things which were there are no longer there.
Speaker 2: The uncertain past is no more, and what is no
Speaker 2: more never was. Yes, only the goods survives. Therefore, Howard
Speaker 2: and Mary, I say unto you, these days you are
Speaker 2: made whole again, reunited. The romantic first love which first
Speaker 2: united you ten months ago, is today link with the mature,
Speaker 2: realistic marital love which is now yours, and your lives
Speaker 2: are again one continuous flow of joy at each other,
Speaker 2: from beginning to end. Which is forever. May we have
Speaker 2: a word of prayers together. Our Father in Heaven looked
Speaker 2: down upon these two children, who for a moment felt
Speaker 2: strange to each other, and now for the first time
Speaker 2: begin to understand a little. May they know what is
Speaker 2: in each other There's hearts, so that the nearness and
Speaker 2: dearness of this moment will stay with them forever.
Speaker 4: Amen, Howard Howard, My dear.
Speaker 2: Amen.
Speaker 1: If family ties are uncertain and giving way, family worship.
Speaker 2: Will help to strengthen them.
Speaker 1: Worship in the church of your choice, and have daily
Speaker 1: devotions in your home. The church and the home are
Speaker 1: the basic rocks upon which the moral structure of this
Speaker 1: nation is built. They should be and must be, one
Speaker 1: united foundation. Ask your pastor for devotional helps or send
Speaker 1: a post guard to the Upper Room. Nashville, Tennessee your announcer,
Speaker 1: Russell Thorpson