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<v Speaker 1>The Upper Room presents so you want to stay married?

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<v Speaker 1>To Day's episode in this study of family life in

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<v Speaker 1>the modern home is Romantic Love Versus Marital Love, Especially

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<v Speaker 1>written and produced for The Upper Room by Carldon E. Morse,

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<v Speaker 1>featuring Jeanette Nolan as Mary, Francis X. Bushman as the Minister,

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<v Speaker 1>and Thomas Collins as Howard. This is the story of

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<v Speaker 1>Howard Andrews and Mary Andrews, his wife, and how they

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<v Speaker 1>suddenly came to a stumbling block.

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<v Speaker 2>In their marriage.

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<v Speaker 3>Please, this is my story, my story in my wife's story.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you mind? No, of course not, mister Andrews. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm Howard Andrews. Come here, Mary. This is my wife, Mary.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, Mary Andrews.

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<v Speaker 3>You see you can tell by her voice that she's

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<v Speaker 3>a fine person, normally, a happy person, a splendid girl

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<v Speaker 3>for a man to.

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<v Speaker 4>Be married hard. That isn't the story, but it is.

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<v Speaker 3>It's the main part of the story, because if you

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<v Speaker 3>weren't a good wife, fine person, then the fact that

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<v Speaker 3>we had marital difficulties would be so easily explained. But

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<v Speaker 3>you are a nice person, and you said to yourself

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<v Speaker 3>that I'm not entirely an overbore.

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<v Speaker 4>Darling, you have wonderful qualities.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, there you are two normally intelligent, reasonable persons of

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<v Speaker 3>normally happy dispositions.

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<v Speaker 2>What happened?

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<v Speaker 3>We suddenly couldn't get along.

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<v Speaker 4>It was almost as though I woke up one morning

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<v Speaker 4>and discovered nothing was right between Howard and me any more.

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<v Speaker 4>It's a terrible shock to suddenly realize your marriage is

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<v Speaker 4>just about on the rocks. It well, it shakes the

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<v Speaker 4>girl clear down to her feet.

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<v Speaker 3>Does things to a man too well. This particular morning,

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<v Speaker 3>I walked away from the house to catch my bus

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<v Speaker 3>to the office. I tried to figure out what was

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<v Speaker 3>the matter, but I couldn't make head nor tails of it.

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<v Speaker 3>I knew I loved Mary, and I felt pretty sure

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<v Speaker 3>she still loved me. But I also knew that if

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<v Speaker 3>we kept on the way we were going, we'd break up.

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<v Speaker 3>Out of sheer misery, I guess Mary was standing over

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<v Speaker 3>the breakfast dishes in the kitchen sink, feeling just as

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<v Speaker 3>confused and.

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<v Speaker 4>Unhappy I was. For the first time in the ten

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<v Speaker 4>months we'd been married, it crept into my mind that

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<v Speaker 4>maybe I'd made a mistake in marrying Howard. It made

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<v Speaker 4>me guilty and ashamed, But there.

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<v Speaker 3>It was exactly well as I said, we had no

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<v Speaker 3>one to turn to. That means, of course, that we

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<v Speaker 3>had no church affiliations, oh like almost everyone else. Both

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<v Speaker 3>Mary and I had gone to churches children and young people,

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<v Speaker 3>but we'd drifted away. I mentioned churches because as I

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<v Speaker 3>walked along on my way to my bus, I passed

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<v Speaker 3>one of our neighborhood churches and the front door was open.

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<v Speaker 3>Without even quite knowing what I was doing or why

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<v Speaker 3>I walked inside.

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<v Speaker 4>Howard still doesn't know why he did it. He thinks

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<v Speaker 4>it wasn't a natural thing for him to do, because

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<v Speaker 4>he hadn't been inside of the church for seven or

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<v Speaker 4>eight years. But I know differently, it was his subconscious,

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<v Speaker 4>his inner mind, guiding him to a place where it

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<v Speaker 4>knew from childhood experience that he could find comfort and

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<v Speaker 4>a friendly, helping hand.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe Mary's answer is right. I still don't know, but

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<v Speaker 3>I do know that a man came and sat down

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<v Speaker 3>on the pew beside me and introduced himself the pastor

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<v Speaker 3>of the church. And the first thing I knew I

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<v Speaker 3>was pouring out my troubles and the flood of words.

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<v Speaker 3>And before I'd left, he'd made me promise to bring

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<v Speaker 3>Mary and come to his study in the back of

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<v Speaker 3>the church on the following Sunday.

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<v Speaker 4>Afternoon, three o'clock.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, three o'clock Sunday afternoon.

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<v Speaker 2>A oh, come in, come right in. I've been waiting

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<v Speaker 2>for you.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you, doctor Hunt. This is my wife, Mary, Mary,

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<v Speaker 3>a beautiful name.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you. Are we keeping you from a service?

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<v Speaker 2>Not at all? Our organist is preparing for the evening

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<v Speaker 2>service and a wedding rehearsal to Pollo.

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<v Speaker 4>Why it's beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>Won't you sit down and make yourselves comfortable than try

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<v Speaker 2>to let the tension of every day living slide away

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<v Speaker 2>from you for a little forget everything else and just listen.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a little hard to know just how to begin

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<v Speaker 2>this little service which I want to perform this afternoon.

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<v Speaker 2>It's rather than you and my experience as well as

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<v Speaker 2>in yours. As I've thought and studied your problems, it

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<v Speaker 2>seems to me that perhaps you two are not familiar

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<v Speaker 2>with the fundamental elements which hold marriage together. Pitifully few

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<v Speaker 2>young married people do know. And now I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>talk about a marriage tie which I believe affects you

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<v Speaker 2>and your difficulties. Most intimately, it's the role of love

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<v Speaker 2>in marriage. Romantic love is sweet and beautiful and is

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<v Speaker 2>the stuff dreams are made of. It is at its

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<v Speaker 2>very height when a girl and boy know the least

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<v Speaker 2>about each other. It's a pure, happy emotion, unencumbered, unhindered

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<v Speaker 2>by truth or fact. In romantic love, a man is

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<v Speaker 2>everything a girl thinks he is. A girl is idealized

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<v Speaker 2>by her lover, far beyond the perfection any woman as

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<v Speaker 2>yet attained in reality. But that is the love given

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<v Speaker 2>to a young when they stand before the altar and

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<v Speaker 2>make their vow. How beautiful, how blissful, but how unstable.

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<v Speaker 2>Because romantic love is untried love. It's the theory of love,

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<v Speaker 2>love that hasn't been put to the test. And when

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<v Speaker 2>it is put to the test, and this is something

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<v Speaker 2>young people just do not realize. When romantic love is

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<v Speaker 2>put to the test, it melts away like mist in

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<v Speaker 2>the sun. But it doesn't go without leaving something in

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<v Speaker 2>its place.

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<v Speaker 3>Mm I should.

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<v Speaker 2>Say it doesn't if there has been an honest effort

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<v Speaker 2>on the part of the girl and the boy to

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<v Speaker 2>unite their lives. As romantic love diminishes, conjugal love, enduring love,

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<v Speaker 2>realistic love takes root and grows and grows and grows,

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<v Speaker 2>and in a true marriage that love is still flourishing

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<v Speaker 2>and throwing out new tendrils of sympathy and understanding and

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<v Speaker 2>affection and sweetness to the very end of life itself.

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<v Speaker 2>And there, I think is where your trouble lies. You

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<v Speaker 2>two have been under a spell of enchantment. You gave

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<v Speaker 2>your vowels, and have been living in the rosy, ecstatic

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<v Speaker 2>glow of romantic club. Now suddenly the tree is ending.

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<v Speaker 2>The illusion you have built about each other in the

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<v Speaker 2>excitement of first love is fading. The scales are dropping

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<v Speaker 2>from your eyes, and you are for the very first

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<v Speaker 2>time seeing each other or as you really are. And

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<v Speaker 2>you've both been under a terrible strain the last few months,

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<v Speaker 2>because each of you has been trying to live up

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<v Speaker 2>to the other's idealistic conception of the other instead of

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<v Speaker 2>being yourself Howard all your life until you married Mary.

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<v Speaker 2>But answers are that you're quite outspoken against anything of

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<v Speaker 2>which you heartily disapproved. You couldn't possibly have lived with

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<v Speaker 2>Mary a year and a half without having her do

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<v Speaker 2>something of which you disapproved. And yet I don't suppose

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<v Speaker 2>in all that time you will said one word of disapproval.

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<v Speaker 2>One word of dissent. Now, that's not good for a man.

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<v Speaker 2>It builds up resentments and dissatisfaction within himself, and so

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<v Speaker 2>against your will, rebellions have set up within you. Mary.

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<v Speaker 2>You probably have not once lost your temper since uniting

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<v Speaker 2>your life with Howard. You have probably made desperate efforts

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<v Speaker 2>never to let him see you any less beautiful than

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<v Speaker 2>the day he proposed to you. Why the strain has

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<v Speaker 2>become almost unbearable. You can't relax, You can't enjoy a

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<v Speaker 2>moment's peace, because if you fear that you're going to

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<v Speaker 2>spoil Howard's picture of you, well, Mary, if you keep

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<v Speaker 2>that up, you're not only going to wonder if your

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<v Speaker 2>marriage is not a mistake, you're going to develop a

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<v Speaker 2>violent dislike for him. Marriage is meant to be, and

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<v Speaker 2>should be a comfortable haven for two people. Both have

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<v Speaker 2>to work it it is, but it should never require

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<v Speaker 2>either the man or woman to strain or live on naturally.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's where realistic love is so much finer than

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<v Speaker 2>romantic love. In the end, you two haven't lost love,

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<v Speaker 2>not at all. Instead, you are merely changing your gay

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<v Speaker 2>party dress of Saturday night for the more practical workaday

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<v Speaker 2>clothes of Monday morning. Howard Andrews, will you stand up please?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>Mary Andrews, will you rise and stand beside your husband? Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>Howard and Mary. For the last few months there has

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<v Speaker 2>been great turmoil in your lives, and especially in your spirits.

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<v Speaker 2>The first murmuring of the thunder of discontent has sounded

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<v Speaker 2>in your souls, and the first flicker of the lightning

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<v Speaker 2>of rebellion has flashed there, and the first rain drops

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<v Speaker 2>of the tears of disillusion have fallen on the desolation.

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<v Speaker 2>You are beginning to fear lay ahead. And now this

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<v Speaker 2>afternoon we are here to cleanse, to sweep out, to

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<v Speaker 2>dust away all that is not good and true and wholesome,

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<v Speaker 2>so that those things which were there are no longer there.

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<v Speaker 2>The uncertain past is no more, and what is no

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<v Speaker 2>more never was. Yes, only the goods survives. Therefore, Howard

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<v Speaker 2>and Mary, I say unto you, these days you are

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<v Speaker 2>made whole again, reunited. The romantic first love which first

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<v Speaker 2>united you ten months ago, is today link with the mature,

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<v Speaker 2>realistic marital love which is now yours, and your lives

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<v Speaker 2>are again one continuous flow of joy at each other,

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<v Speaker 2>from beginning to end. Which is forever. May we have

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<v Speaker 2>a word of prayers together. Our Father in Heaven looked

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<v Speaker 2>down upon these two children, who for a moment felt

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<v Speaker 2>strange to each other, and now for the first time

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<v Speaker 2>begin to understand a little. May they know what is

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<v Speaker 2>in each other There's hearts, so that the nearness and

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<v Speaker 2>dearness of this moment will stay with them forever.

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<v Speaker 4>Amen, Howard Howard, My dear.

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<v Speaker 2>Amen.

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<v Speaker 1>If family ties are uncertain and giving way, family worship.

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<v Speaker 2>Will help to strengthen them.

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<v Speaker 1>Worship in the church of your choice, and have daily

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<v Speaker 1>devotions in your home. The church and the home are

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<v Speaker 1>the basic rocks upon which the moral structure of this

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<v Speaker 1>nation is built. They should be and must be, one

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<v Speaker 1>united foundation. Ask your pastor for devotional helps or send

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<v Speaker 1>a post guard to the Upper Room. Nashville, Tennessee your announcer,

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<v Speaker 1>Russell Thorpson