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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, bad with something for you? You, you, you,

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<v Speaker 1>and you to think about how do you survive in

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<v Speaker 1>abusive relationship? The best way to survive is.

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<v Speaker 2>By never getting anyone.

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<v Speaker 1>Never getting involved with an abusive person. If by chance,

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<v Speaker 1>you get in a relationship with someone and you realize

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<v Speaker 1>that this person has abusive tendencies and you don't run.

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<v Speaker 2>It falls on you. I want you to think about that.

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<v Speaker 1>There are always signs and red flags, always, always, always, always,

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<v Speaker 1>And when you ignore those signs in red flags, when

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<v Speaker 1>you ignore your intuitions, it leads to problems. It leads

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<v Speaker 1>to major issues in your life. Many people are so

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<v Speaker 1>desperate for love that they overlook things that they should

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<v Speaker 1>see when seeking love. The things that you see with

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<v Speaker 1>your eyes, the things you can touch and feel.

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<v Speaker 2>Those things are superficial things.

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<v Speaker 1>So when I say superficial, I mean they hold no

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<v Speaker 1>substance when it comes to building a solid foundation for

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship to work. I talk about all of this

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<v Speaker 1>in my new upcoming book should be out here very shortly,

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<v Speaker 1>and I will come back and tell you about it.

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<v Speaker 1>But you have to be able to accept the truth

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<v Speaker 1>for what it is. Stop looking at things based on

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<v Speaker 1>what you want them to be and accept things for

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<v Speaker 1>what they truly are. Many people, millions could avoid bad

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<v Speaker 1>situations if they would only.

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<v Speaker 2>See and accept the truth for what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Every single relationship that you get in, it's by choice.

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<v Speaker 1>Every individual you open the door to in your life

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<v Speaker 1>is by choice. I don't think anybody is going around

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<v Speaker 1>with a gun or a knife forcing you to be

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<v Speaker 1>in a relationship with them. Now, once you get in one,

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<v Speaker 1>I won't say it's not happening because people are doing

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<v Speaker 1>some extreme stuff, But to get in a relationship, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think that's happening. So every relationship, every individual that

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<v Speaker 1>enters your life, you are the one who opened the door.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that's anybody, your coworkers, whomever, your bosses, whomever

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<v Speaker 1>you open the door to.

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<v Speaker 2>In your life. You did it because I want you

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<v Speaker 2>to think of it like this.

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<v Speaker 1>You can go to work every day and be cordial

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<v Speaker 1>with your work people, but you don't have to have

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship with them. You don't have to develop a

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<v Speaker 1>friendship with them.

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<v Speaker 2>You just go to work, do your job, be cordial.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, sometimes that may even mean going out to

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<v Speaker 1>functions or whatever. You're just being a part of the team.

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<v Speaker 1>But you don't have to develop a relationship outside of that.

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<v Speaker 1>So whoever you open yourself up to, it falls on you.

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<v Speaker 1>People open the doors to different things and people in

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<v Speaker 1>their lives depending on the mindset that they have and

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<v Speaker 1>depending on what they're seeking.

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<v Speaker 2>You get in a relationship with.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone, I don't know how many times I've told you,

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<v Speaker 1>and I will never stop telling you until I'm no

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<v Speaker 1>longer on this platform and I'm in my grave. You

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<v Speaker 1>are the person who is responsible for who and what

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<v Speaker 1>you're allowing to your life. You are the responsible party.

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<v Speaker 1>If you get in a relationship with someone and that

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<v Speaker 1>person shows you in any kind of way, any kind

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<v Speaker 1>of way at all, that they have abusive tendencies, and

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<v Speaker 1>you stay because you think, oh, they love me so much,

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<v Speaker 1>that falls on you. Many many people are in relationships

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<v Speaker 1>where they're afraid to go.

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<v Speaker 2>They're afraid to stay.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, that's horrible, but many people are in this situation

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<v Speaker 1>right now.

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<v Speaker 2>And I've said it many times.

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<v Speaker 1>If you are afraid to stay, if you are afraid

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<v Speaker 1>to go, you have stayed far too long. The only

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<v Speaker 1>way to avoid abusive relationships is avoiding abusive people, never

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<v Speaker 1>getting in those relationships. You have to be able to

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<v Speaker 1>see past your heart, that unhealed heart, because a person

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<v Speaker 1>of a healed heart is not standing for that. They're

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<v Speaker 1>not going to get in a relationship with someone who's abusive.

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<v Speaker 1>There are some people who start out abusive, but there

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<v Speaker 1>are people which are most people who do it in

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<v Speaker 1>subtle ways. It's start off with disrespect, them talking to

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<v Speaker 1>you file or them doing foul things you in subtle ways, but.

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<v Speaker 2>They are enough.

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<v Speaker 1>That you should know better. You should know that person

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<v Speaker 1>isn't any good for you. People are slick, like Greece.

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<v Speaker 1>They are slick. So if you're not in the mindset

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<v Speaker 1>to be able to see the things that they're doing,

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<v Speaker 1>you'll miss all the signs of red flags.

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<v Speaker 2>They're there. I mean they're always there.

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<v Speaker 1>Signs of red flags are always present in every single situation.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have the eyes, the heart and the mind

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<v Speaker 1>to see it and accept it for what it is?

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<v Speaker 2>Because they are always present.

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<v Speaker 1>When a person have an attitude, are they quickly catching attitude?

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<v Speaker 1>They are disrespectful, They try to control you. They seem

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<v Speaker 1>obsessive or possessive, or most times it's both obsessive possessive

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<v Speaker 1>controlling in any way, you have to.

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<v Speaker 2>Be very very careful.

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<v Speaker 1>If you keep going forward in a relationship and you

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<v Speaker 1>see any sign or red flag of any of it,

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<v Speaker 1>and you continue with that relationship, it falls on you.

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<v Speaker 1>People treat you how you allow them to treat you.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me give you some examples so you fully understand

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm trying to convey here. If you're in a

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<v Speaker 1>relationship with someone male or female, and that person is

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<v Speaker 1>telling you where you can and can't go, you shouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>go over there, you shouldn't be with this person, You

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<v Speaker 1>shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that. You better watch

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<v Speaker 1>out because if you agree, if you go alone, if

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<v Speaker 1>you let that happen, more is coming.

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<v Speaker 2>More is coming.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're with someone and you try to talk to

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<v Speaker 1>that person and they quickly go off they have an attitude,

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<v Speaker 1>and you oh, okay, it's okay, it's okay, we'll talk

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<v Speaker 1>about it later, we don't have to talk about it,

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever the situation may be, you are showing them

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<v Speaker 1>how they can treat you. You are letting them know

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<v Speaker 1>that they can get angry and you will be quiet.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's the ploy that they will enhance in the relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're in communication with.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone and they're saying mean, hurtful things to you, and

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<v Speaker 1>you just love them so much that you overlook it.

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<v Speaker 1>You've overlooked who they really are, and it will come

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<v Speaker 1>back to hunt you.

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<v Speaker 2>It will come back to bite you.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're in a relationship with someone and you started

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<v Speaker 1>off buying them this, buying them that, trying to make

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<v Speaker 1>them happy, thinking it's going to make them love you.

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<v Speaker 2>You messed up.

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<v Speaker 1>Because soon as you don't do it, you're gonna see

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<v Speaker 1>the monster that you created.

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<v Speaker 2>When people disrespect you.

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<v Speaker 1>In any way and you let it slide, Believe me,

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<v Speaker 1>more is coming, because disrespect leads to or can lead to,

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<v Speaker 1>abusive behaviors. When a person is angry all the time,

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<v Speaker 1>what you think is gonna happen eventually? What do you

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<v Speaker 1>think is going to happen?

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of problems that people face.

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<v Speaker 1>Is because they want so desperately to be with that

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<v Speaker 1>individual that they tend to overlook everything that's staring them

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<v Speaker 1>right in the face. You have the signs, you have

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<v Speaker 1>the red flag. You got your intuition telling you things.

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<v Speaker 1>People sometimes tell you things, but no, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>everything is a lie. You can't believe it. You can't

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<v Speaker 1>believe what you see you can't believe what you've heard,

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<v Speaker 1>you can't believe what people tell you. You want to just

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<v Speaker 1>be with that person. Then you're with that person and

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<v Speaker 1>you find out everything is the truth. Now you're in

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship and you're afraid to leave. An abusive person

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<v Speaker 1>knows exactly the state of mind you're in. They are

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<v Speaker 1>far worse off mentally than you, but they know the

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<v Speaker 1>state of mind you're in because you show your vulnerability.

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<v Speaker 1>You've shown them and they've used it against you. Abusive

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<v Speaker 1>people are controlling, they're obsessive and possessive, and they will

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<v Speaker 1>take advantage of you. They will take advantage of your weakness.

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<v Speaker 1>You have empowered them and made them appear as strong

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<v Speaker 1>as you have become more weak, more vulnerable. So when

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<v Speaker 1>you let things go on and on, you're giving them

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<v Speaker 1>more power, more power, more power.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why it is detrimental, crucial to be aware of

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<v Speaker 2>the people you open yourselves up to, because.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes when you open yourself up to and you allow

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<v Speaker 1>an abusive person in your life, you.

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<v Speaker 2>May not get rid of them. You may go to

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<v Speaker 2>your grave.

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<v Speaker 1>Because of them, either they killed you or you killed yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>Because some people are in such bad situations, such volatility,

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<v Speaker 1>toxic situations that they would rather kill themselves than to

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<v Speaker 1>remain in those situations.

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<v Speaker 2>It is horrible. It is absolutely horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>When you always can leave, I don't care what they say,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care what they do. You can always leave,

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<v Speaker 1>even if it means leaving the entire country. You can leave,

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<v Speaker 1>do what's necessary to protect yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm telling you this from experience.

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<v Speaker 1>If you've listened to some of my episodes I talk

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<v Speaker 1>about it, I physically ran away from a whole country

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<v Speaker 1>when I was there living there because of the military,

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<v Speaker 1>ran away from the whole country because I left that

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<v Speaker 1>person right over there. He's an American citizen like me,

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<v Speaker 1>but we were over there because of the military, and

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<v Speaker 1>I left him right on over.

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<v Speaker 2>There and never looked back. Never.

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<v Speaker 1>And yes, I did see the signs, but I was

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<v Speaker 1>very very very young, in my late teens, very young.

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<v Speaker 2>But I got smart and real quick. I saw the signs.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw the anger, I saw the temper, but it

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't that directed at me, so I thought.

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<v Speaker 2>I was safe.

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<v Speaker 1>But anytime someone is that way, it eventually will be

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<v Speaker 1>directed towards you.

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<v Speaker 2>It will be directed towards any children you have. It

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<v Speaker 2>will be.

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<v Speaker 1>Directed towards other people in your life that comes around

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<v Speaker 1>because that's who that individual is.

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<v Speaker 2>I should have ran and never looked back.

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<v Speaker 1>But you live and you learn. But when I felt

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<v Speaker 1>like this is really really out of control.

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<v Speaker 2>I ran. Never look back. Don't be like me. Don't

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<v Speaker 2>even let it get that far.

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<v Speaker 1>Run at the first time, because I promise you it

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<v Speaker 1>will only get worse. You start off seeing it in

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<v Speaker 1>other people, them doing it to other people, then eventually

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<v Speaker 1>it comes to you. Sometimes people do it to you

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<v Speaker 1>right out. You see it right away, you are the

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<v Speaker 1>butt of it right away. And sometimes people, oh, he

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<v Speaker 1>didn't mean it, she didn't mean it, she just was mad,

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<v Speaker 1>or she's going through things because of childhood issues.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you can't fix same or change anyone. You will feel.

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<v Speaker 1>The consequences guaranteed. So the best way to avoid or

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<v Speaker 1>get out of an abusive relationship or an avoid one

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<v Speaker 1>is never to get.

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<v Speaker 2>Into one, because.

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<v Speaker 1>No one is ever, ever, ever, ever ever going to

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<v Speaker 1>treat you any way other than the way you've taught them.

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<v Speaker 1>If you show that you're afraid, that empowers them. If

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<v Speaker 1>you let them call you out your name, that empowers them.

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<v Speaker 1>If you let them hit on you. That empowers them.

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<v Speaker 1>If you let them spit on you, that empowers them.

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<v Speaker 1>If you let them push you around, that empowers them.

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<v Speaker 1>If you let them be obsessive and possessive over you,

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<v Speaker 1>that empowers them. If you let them isolate you from

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<v Speaker 1>your friends and family, that empowers you. If you let

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<v Speaker 1>them tell you where you can and can't go, who

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<v Speaker 1>you can and can't be, with, what you can and

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<v Speaker 1>can't where, that empowers them.

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<v Speaker 2>And the list goes on.

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<v Speaker 1>You empower them to make them strong as you are weakened.

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<v Speaker 2>So again, the way to avoid it is.

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<v Speaker 1>By never getting into the relationship in the first place.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to love yourself enough to be able to

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<v Speaker 1>walk away, and that's the problem for most people.

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<v Speaker 2>Most people don't love themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>They're seeking love desperately, and they don't love themselves. Therefore,

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<v Speaker 1>they will allow these things because they think the man

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<v Speaker 1>or the woman is going to change, they are going

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<v Speaker 1>to be better. They think that they can love the

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<v Speaker 1>hell out of people. They think that they can make

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<v Speaker 1>a person change by loving them so much or by

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<v Speaker 1>giving to them. People think that they can fix and

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<v Speaker 1>save and change other people. You can love them out

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<v Speaker 1>of their addictions. Only to find yourself lost. You've lost

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<v Speaker 1>your sl elf in these toxic relationships, in these loveless relationships,

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<v Speaker 1>you've lost yourself. Some of you hate yourselves even more

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<v Speaker 1>than before you started the relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>You hate yourself for being in that.

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<v Speaker 1>Relationship, but you don't have to strength or the courage

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<v Speaker 1>to leave. It's awful, devastating, and now you are an

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<v Speaker 1>individual full of fear, anxiety, depression, all kinds of things

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<v Speaker 1>because of the stress and the hell you're going through

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<v Speaker 1>when you should have walked away long ago. Many men

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<v Speaker 1>and many women are in their grains because of their relationships,

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<v Speaker 1>because of the people that they were with. Men doing

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<v Speaker 1>far more than women, but women do it as well.

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<v Speaker 2>You always, always.

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<v Speaker 1>Always teach an individual how they can treat you. You

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<v Speaker 1>always are the one who empowered them. When you empower them,

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<v Speaker 1>it gives them power to have control over you.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what happens.

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<v Speaker 1>And never ever ever think you're trapped because you're trapped

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<v Speaker 1>in your mind.

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<v Speaker 2>You're not trapped.

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<v Speaker 1>The only way you're trapped is if they have you

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<v Speaker 1>locked up and chained physically, and believe me, that does happen.

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<v Speaker 2>But you should never let it get that far.

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<v Speaker 1>See a lot of problem is people don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>tell because they are embarrassed, they're ashamed, they're afraid, so

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<v Speaker 1>they don't want to tell. They're afraid of what the

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<v Speaker 1>person would do to them. They're afraid of what the

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<v Speaker 1>person would do to the people they love and care about.

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<v Speaker 1>It's horrific at that point. So a lot of times

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<v Speaker 1>people don't tell. I know, I didn't tell. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>tell until I got out. The day that I left

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<v Speaker 1>is the day I told someone, and that is the

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<v Speaker 1>person who helped me leave. And I didn't tell because

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<v Speaker 1>I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. People thought this this

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<v Speaker 1>guy was all of this, you know, all of the

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<v Speaker 1>listen to means, this is all of the things.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, the old saying.

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<v Speaker 1>A person you think they are a bag of chips

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<v Speaker 1>and some That's what people thought of him.

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<v Speaker 2>Because of the games that this person played.

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<v Speaker 1>People thought he was all of that. He was a

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<v Speaker 1>stellar soldier. So I didn't tell for many reasons. But

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<v Speaker 1>that was the mindset of an immature young lady, because

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<v Speaker 1>that's what I was very immature at that time. So

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<v Speaker 1>I endured it by myself. I went through it alone.

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<v Speaker 1>But I got the heck up out of there, thank God,

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<v Speaker 1>because I could have been in my grave, or I

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<v Speaker 1>could have been in a situation where I had to

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<v Speaker 1>defend myself and spend life in prison.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not worth it. It is not love.

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<v Speaker 1>A person being obsessive and controlling and possessive.

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<v Speaker 2>Is not love, no way, no how. It is not love.

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<v Speaker 1>A person disrespecting you, calling you out of your name,

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<v Speaker 1>being abusive emotionally, verbally, physically, mentally, it is not love.

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<v Speaker 1>That person has issues, unresolved issues, and you have issues

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<v Speaker 1>for allowing it. I'll be the first one to raise

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<v Speaker 1>my hand. I had issues. I wanted to be away

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<v Speaker 1>from home. I wanted a better environment, a better life.

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<v Speaker 1>And now that I'm grown and much more wiser and

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<v Speaker 1>mature and knowledgeable, I had the best childhood ever. We

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't rich with money, but my god, we were so

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<v Speaker 1>rich with love and wisdom and knowledge about self love

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<v Speaker 1>and not letting people. I mean, we were taken care of.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, when you were a child, you're thinking, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to get away from home. Parents too strict,

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<v Speaker 1>not knowing they're doing the best for you. There are

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<v Speaker 1>many factors to a person who is immature age, life,

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<v Speaker 1>multitude of things unhealed hearts and minds because of past

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<v Speaker 1>hurt and pain. It doesn't matter how you got the

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<v Speaker 1>mindset that you have. What matters is you change it

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<v Speaker 1>to become the best you that you can be for yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>and in that you will know that you can't change

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<v Speaker 1>anybody else. It's not your responsibility to try to change, fix,

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<v Speaker 1>or save someone. But when you're broken, when you have

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<v Speaker 1>an heart and mind, you desperately try to fix, save,

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<v Speaker 1>and change that person you're with because you want to

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<v Speaker 1>be with him or her. When love is nowhere in

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<v Speaker 1>the equation, you just think it is because of your

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<v Speaker 1>version of what you think is love. Many people have

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<v Speaker 1>lost their lives thinking it was love. I often think

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<v Speaker 1>of a couple, two couples in particular, and I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know either one of them, and I saw both incidents

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<v Speaker 1>on social media.

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<v Speaker 2>One was when a guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Found out his girl had been talking to someone and

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<v Speaker 1>he saw it on her phone. He beat the crap,

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<v Speaker 1>He beat the.

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<v Speaker 2>Crap out of that lady like she was a man.

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<v Speaker 2>He beat her with.

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<v Speaker 1>Candles, those big fat candles, the glass that's in.

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<v Speaker 2>The He threw them at her, and I mean, it

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<v Speaker 2>was horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>And when it was all said and done, she eventually

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<v Speaker 1>went back to him. I don't know anything else about it,

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<v Speaker 1>but I do remember that. And then not so long

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<v Speaker 1>ago last year, matter of fact, several months ago, the

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<v Speaker 1>couple in Atlanta on social media just toxic, always cussing

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<v Speaker 1>each other.

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<v Speaker 2>And telling each other's business.

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<v Speaker 1>That's toxicity that is not healthy for them, children, or anyone.

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<v Speaker 1>And they were going at it live on social media

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<v Speaker 1>and he ended up killing her. I mean, this has

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<v Speaker 1>happened so much. You have to have courage to get

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<v Speaker 1>out of abusive relationships. Seek help from people who's not

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<v Speaker 1>gonna tell your business. Because sometimes you go to people

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<v Speaker 1>and tell, they end up telling someone and.

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<v Speaker 2>It gets back to your significant other and it makes things.

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<v Speaker 1>Worse for you. So you have to move in silence.

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<v Speaker 1>But you gotta get out of toxic, unhealthy, abusive relationships

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<v Speaker 1>before it's too late, and you can't because you're in

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<v Speaker 1>your grave. I'm not trying to scare anyone. I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>telling you fact. And the way to avoid all of

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<v Speaker 1>this is by never getting into it in the first place.

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<v Speaker 1>Leave at the first sign.

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<v Speaker 2>Of abuse.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't let people know where you live right away, don't

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<v Speaker 1>let them know where you work right away.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't do any of that when you're getting to know someone.

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<v Speaker 1>Watch for the signs and red flags, the cues your intuition.

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<v Speaker 1>You got to see past your once, your desires, your

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<v Speaker 1>heart because the signs and red flags are always there.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's it. That's all I'm saying. I'm leaving it there.

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<v Speaker 1>Listen, please, please, please please share this episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for listening. Much love Mom to each and

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<v Speaker 2>every one of you.

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<v Speaker 1>I in all episodes the same, and I pray, in

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<v Speaker 1>the name.

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<v Speaker 2>Of Jesus did you do it? Faith on it.