WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:03.879 We'll find out if our next guest that can go 2 00:00:03.960 --> 00:00:06.240 to an employment tribunal and try and grab fifty five 3 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:10.000 million euro for any reason, because you know it's that 4 00:00:10.199 --> 00:00:12.800 time where it is nine thirty on a Friday. We'd 5 00:00:12.839 --> 00:00:16.640 find out about draws going to wins. We find out 6 00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:19.920 about the playoff mix, we find out about anything going 7 00:00:19.960 --> 00:00:24.960 on between the sticks, the proverbial sticks, the ears, the 8 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:27.960 mind of a mogul, and training. It's time for a 9 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:30.280 Friday free kick with our buddy Michael Parker's. 10 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:44.119 Cap. 11 00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:46.759 Have you ever gone to an employment tribunal toward try 12 00:00:46.799 --> 00:00:51.320 and get fifty five million euro from your previous employers? 13 00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:56.320 I haven't, but I would welcome the opportunity. 14 00:00:56.640 --> 00:01:00.280 We were discussing Achillean and Bape and where he is 15 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:02.759 now still apparently angry to the point to where I 16 00:01:02.799 --> 00:01:05.640 feel like I feel like he's doing something like this. 17 00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:07.959 You know, it's it's like the Veruka salt bit, you 18 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:10.920 know in Willy Wonka. It's just one of the East. 19 00:01:11.239 --> 00:01:13.400 You know, he's in the corner. He's kind of stomping 20 00:01:13.480 --> 00:01:13.920 up and down. 21 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:16.159 I want my fifty five billion euro. 22 00:01:17.480 --> 00:01:22.879 First world problems, First world problems this morning. So how 23 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:24.799 is the the Life of the Mogul and training. Let's 24 00:01:24.840 --> 00:01:27.120 start off with Rhode Island FC and what is going 25 00:01:27.159 --> 00:01:30.000 on in the street fight that is the Eastern Conference 26 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.239 in USL Championship. 27 00:01:31.560 --> 00:01:33.480 Yeah, not a great weekend for us. Last weekend. I 28 00:01:33.799 --> 00:01:37.680 drove over to Pittsburgh and we played probably our worst 29 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:40.599 game of the season. I'm not going to correlate the 30 00:01:40.599 --> 00:01:48.239 two things, but yeah, it's a tough it's a tough 31 00:01:48.599 --> 00:01:51.200 place to play and a tough pitch to play on, 32 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:54.920 and we didn't do a good enough job adapting there. 33 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:58.560 So we we got what we deserved in that game. 34 00:01:58.760 --> 00:02:01.799 And so we're still in the thick of it and 35 00:02:02.120 --> 00:02:05.280 we're headed out to California to play Orange County this weekend. 36 00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:07.719 So all is fine. 37 00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:11.280 So are you catching the flight to a championship stadium 38 00:02:11.280 --> 00:02:12.319 in Irvine, California? 39 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:14.080 I am not. 40 00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:15.960 Well. 41 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:18.120 I mean, because you can you can stay at home 42 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:19.800 and kick back and watch it and not have to 43 00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:23.120 deal with weather or flight DeLay's or anything like that. 44 00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:25.000 You can have you can have your own Rhode Island 45 00:02:25.080 --> 00:02:28.039 FC party at the Casa de Parkers totally. 46 00:02:28.479 --> 00:02:33.280 And John, we've had amazing weather up here. 47 00:02:33.879 --> 00:02:37.319 Until Yeah, it's been so nice until. 48 00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:41.159 And sitting there in Pittsburgh. I had pants and a 49 00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:48.879 sweatshirt on, and I was shivering so cold, unbelievable. 50 00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:51.039 I mean, you're you're right up against the river and 51 00:02:51.560 --> 00:02:53.240 you sit there and the trains go by, and you're 52 00:02:53.240 --> 00:02:54.919 sitting there going Man, if I had a soccer ball, 53 00:02:54.960 --> 00:02:56.759 I'd like to try and kick it into the river 54 00:02:56.919 --> 00:02:58.680 and over the train, or see if it could go 55 00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:00.319 into the train and the train just kind of takes 56 00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:02.520 it by. Maybe it would mask the yelling of Bob 57 00:03:02.560 --> 00:03:03.840 Lilly at any given moment. 58 00:03:04.680 --> 00:03:08.439 Yeah, but anyways, No, it's it's all good. We could 59 00:03:08.439 --> 00:03:10.800 have used some help from Tampa Bay midweek. They lost 60 00:03:10.840 --> 00:03:13.840 to Birmingham, so that didn't help us. But you know, 61 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:15.479 such as life, you got to you gotta do it 62 00:03:15.479 --> 00:03:16.479 yourself sometimes. 63 00:03:16.840 --> 00:03:19.639 Okay, So that'll be my entry point this week when 64 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:24.919 it comes to to mentoring and reminding mentees that yes, 65 00:03:25.719 --> 00:03:29.319 I'm here for you, your mentors and your uh you know, 66 00:03:29.360 --> 00:03:31.840 your guide posts are there for you. Sometimes you do 67 00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:33.439 have to do it yourself. Do you have to have 68 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:36.680 those reminders in those conversations with men teas about sometimes 69 00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:38.960 I can only get you so far, You've got to 70 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:40.439 take it that final step. 71 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:44.520 Definitely, and some of it is even a bit of 72 00:03:44.520 --> 00:03:47.919 a step down as far as just maturity right as 73 00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:52.199 a human being. So different steps like, Okay, now you're 74 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:55.120 in I don't know, middle school or high school, and 75 00:03:55.199 --> 00:03:57.599 so it's not mom and dad's job to get you 76 00:03:57.639 --> 00:04:00.479 ready to go to practice. You should be ready to 77 00:04:00.520 --> 00:04:03.199 go to practice and have all the things and have 78 00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:06.400 your water and get your snacks and do all these things. 79 00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:10.280 And that's on you now, right, You're you're old enough, 80 00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:13.199 and that's on you. Uh and so yeah, the same 81 00:04:13.240 --> 00:04:15.360 thing kind of when you go up the level, right, 82 00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:19.600 and now you talk about you know, confidence and dealing 83 00:04:19.639 --> 00:04:23.240 with things and and just looking out for yourself, that's 84 00:04:23.240 --> 00:04:26.279 on you, especially as you go off to college or 85 00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:28.680 you know, if you're if you're lucky enough to ever 86 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:31.839 play professionally. Right, it's like you you need to look 87 00:04:31.839 --> 00:04:35.480 out for yourself and you need to make sure you're 88 00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:39.560 taking ownership of your journey because no one cares more 89 00:04:39.560 --> 00:04:41.920 about your journey or shouldn't care more about your journey 90 00:04:41.920 --> 00:04:45.360 than yourself other than maybe your mom. Yeah they probably care. 91 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:49.480 Yeah more, yes, well, and then so then let me 92 00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:53.959 ask about generational divides and disconnects and things like that. 93 00:04:54.040 --> 00:04:58.879 Do you find that folks that are our age care 94 00:04:58.959 --> 00:05:01.920 about it and approach differently and taking things into our 95 00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:05.079 own hands versus the younger folks, the folks that you 96 00:05:05.199 --> 00:05:08.040 mantee and maybe folks that you see at Rhode Island 97 00:05:08.120 --> 00:05:10.000 or in college or anything like that. Do we handle 98 00:05:10.040 --> 00:05:12.360 things differently now when it comes to taking care of 99 00:05:12.399 --> 00:05:13.279 business ourselves. 100 00:05:14.879 --> 00:05:17.920 Yes, And I feel like some of it lands on 101 00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:26.199 my generation and how we're parenting and we're enabling, and 102 00:05:27.759 --> 00:05:31.920 you know, I think that maybe it's because we had 103 00:05:31.959 --> 00:05:33.959 to do a little bit more as we were younger 104 00:05:36.040 --> 00:05:39.600 that now, you know, we just want to put things 105 00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:41.759 on a platter for our kids and make it easy 106 00:05:41.800 --> 00:05:45.800 and help them out and all these things, and sometimes 107 00:05:45.839 --> 00:05:48.040 we're doing them a disservice by doing too much, and 108 00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:51.759 then they just become reliant on us, independent. And I 109 00:05:51.800 --> 00:05:55.560 see it in a lot of kids and just maturity wise, 110 00:05:55.680 --> 00:05:59.959 like they're capable of so much more and we're limited 111 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:03.519 them sometimes. And you know, even out on the soccer field, 112 00:06:03.560 --> 00:06:06.600 it's the same thing sometimes. And I know there's a 113 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:11.040 fine line between you know, encouragement and tough love, you know, 114 00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:13.160 so it kind of all goes hand in hand and 115 00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:17.279 everyone's different though, as we know well. 116 00:06:17.480 --> 00:06:20.439 And at the same time you mentioned that, and there's 117 00:06:20.519 --> 00:06:26.160 always that mindset from parents, grandparents, what have you, about 118 00:06:26.800 --> 00:06:30.240 making it better for our kids, making it easier for 119 00:06:30.360 --> 00:06:34.040 them than it was for ourselves. And then that runs 120 00:06:34.079 --> 00:06:37.079 into that issue that you're talking about where parents they 121 00:06:37.079 --> 00:06:39.000 want to make it easier, they want to make it better, 122 00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:40.319 they want to make it, you know, they want to 123 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:43.759 make it a better place for their kids. But there's 124 00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:46.600 that line about, you know, they've got to want there's 125 00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:47.160 that want to. 126 00:06:48.120 --> 00:06:50.000 They've got to want to at least. 127 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:54.000 Meet you halfway in that regard where okay, yeah, great, 128 00:06:54.439 --> 00:06:57.360 you want to do this as a parent, but the 129 00:06:57.959 --> 00:07:01.759 kid can't learn if everything's laid out for them, and 130 00:07:01.800 --> 00:07:04.240 it makes things, i would say difficult because they don't 131 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:07.120 get that real world on the job training that they're 132 00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:09.639 supposed to get as they get older, to experience these 133 00:07:09.639 --> 00:07:10.920 things that they're supposed to tackle. 134 00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:14.920 Yeah, exactly. And you know, of course we want to 135 00:07:14.959 --> 00:07:18.040 do and set our kids up as best as we can, 136 00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:23.160 no doubt about it. But yeah, I feel like, you know, 137 00:07:23.279 --> 00:07:26.519 sometimes we need to let them fail a little bit 138 00:07:26.600 --> 00:07:28.519 and figure things out. On their own. And I've gotten 139 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:31.000 to that point now with my kids, and it's tough 140 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:34.639 because you don't want to like see them fail or 141 00:07:34.720 --> 00:07:40.399 see them struggle. But one small example is every day 142 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:42.480 when we come home from school, the kids need to 143 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:45.000 take their water bottles and their lunches over to the 144 00:07:45.079 --> 00:07:48.759 sink and I'll wash it in the evening, no problem. 145 00:07:49.079 --> 00:07:51.879 My son can't even do that, and so now I'm done. 146 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:53.879 If it doesn't get there by the time I'm washing 147 00:07:53.879 --> 00:07:57.240 the dishes, he washes it himself, and like, I don't 148 00:07:57.279 --> 00:07:59.319 feel bad and he needs to do that. And if 149 00:07:59.360 --> 00:08:01.319 in the morning he's rushing out of the house to 150 00:08:01.399 --> 00:08:04.199 run to the bus, and so be it. But I'm 151 00:08:04.199 --> 00:08:05.639 done with it. And you know, it's just so a 152 00:08:05.680 --> 00:08:09.639 small little thing. But there's just so much you know, 153 00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:11.639 the same thing with going to practice, like we will 154 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:14.720 be late. I'd rather be a little late to the 155 00:08:14.759 --> 00:08:17.839 practice and him be upset about that than do his 156 00:08:17.920 --> 00:08:22.920 water for him or find his I don't know. 157 00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:25.959 You name it by the shin guards that are hanging 158 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:31.120 around some point, Yeah, exactly. So you mentioned how difficult 159 00:08:31.160 --> 00:08:34.279 that is as a parent. I mean, does the does 160 00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:37.440 the mentor come out a little bit in that process, 161 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:41.039 at least mentally for you. At the same time where Okay, 162 00:08:41.399 --> 00:08:43.600 I see what's happening here, you can almost kind of 163 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:46.600 detach and look at it from a different perspective, like 164 00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:48.360 you get to look at it from up high or 165 00:08:48.360 --> 00:08:52.200 something like in All twenty two for football coverages. Okay, 166 00:08:52.360 --> 00:08:54.759 so I see what's happening here, I can detach, I 167 00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:57.559 understand what's going on. I can help I can help 168 00:08:57.600 --> 00:09:00.240 my kids as both a mentee and a parent by 169 00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:02.399 doing things and looking at it differently. Do you ever 170 00:09:02.440 --> 00:09:04.159 have those out of body moments where you get to 171 00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:05.240 analyze yourself. 172 00:09:04.960 --> 00:09:11.440 Here, Yes, I do, and I completely and it furthers 173 00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:22.039 my certainty of why kids need mentor because they don't 174 00:09:22.039 --> 00:09:26.200 listen to their parents. Right, there's obviously there's some and 175 00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:28.279 my kids listen to me, you know, and they're good 176 00:09:28.360 --> 00:09:31.639 kids and whatever. But when it comes to this, and 177 00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:33.840 I see it all the time with my own kids, 178 00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:38.840 where I'm like, oh my gosh, I speak to kids, 179 00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:43.639 their parents pay me to do this, I'm good at it. 180 00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:48.480 And yet here we are my own children, and they 181 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:51.679 are stubborn as rocks, and I cannot talk to them 182 00:09:51.759 --> 00:09:56.919 about what I know and I know can help them. So, yes, 183 00:09:57.200 --> 00:09:59.960 it is out of body and it's out of mind 184 00:10:00.519 --> 00:10:03.279 as well. John just mind blowing that is. 185 00:10:04.879 --> 00:10:05.159 Well. 186 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:09.039 So then you know, when you see what's going on, 187 00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:12.320 do do you and the boss kind of sit there 188 00:10:12.360 --> 00:10:15.320 and it's like, okay, we see this happening, all right. 189 00:10:15.720 --> 00:10:18.679 You kind of brace yourself for it, knowing that that 190 00:10:19.039 --> 00:10:22.840 it's inside the Parkhurst four walls that this is happening, 191 00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:27.960 and you're getting to have the the mentor looking at 192 00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:30.679 the parent, looking at the mente kind of it. It's 193 00:10:30.679 --> 00:10:32.559 almost like this three step process. Do you kind of 194 00:10:32.559 --> 00:10:34.519 brace yourself for it and you're like, you know, okay, 195 00:10:34.679 --> 00:10:36.600 we know it's coming. 196 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:41.360 Yep, No, totally. And my wife has done a really 197 00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:46.120 good job of like she can detach and just walk 198 00:10:46.159 --> 00:10:50.440 away and remove herself and everything. And but how hard 199 00:10:50.519 --> 00:10:52.799 is she. Oh she's learned it over the years though, 200 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:54.879 because she was around the kids so much more when 201 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:56.919 they were younger than I was. Obviously I was playing 202 00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:02.080 and traveling and busy a lot. And so for me, 203 00:11:02.559 --> 00:11:05.679 I'm going through that where I'm like, I'm getting better now, 204 00:11:05.720 --> 00:11:08.039 but so many times I would just get so mad 205 00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:10.840 and so frustrated, and you know, then we're just fighting 206 00:11:10.879 --> 00:11:13.480 and yelling at each other, and you know you're doing 207 00:11:13.519 --> 00:11:16.120 it because you want and you think you can help them, 208 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:18.639 but again, you're not helping them if it's not going 209 00:11:18.679 --> 00:11:21.639 in their ears and you know, into their brain. And 210 00:11:21.720 --> 00:11:24.320 so it's just like, hey need step back, let them 211 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:28.559 figure it out. And you know, hopefully that's that'll get 212 00:11:28.600 --> 00:11:30.320 to them, because I've gotten to that point even with 213 00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:33.799 my daughter with shoulder exercises. She's dislocated her shoulders, had 214 00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:38.519 some trouble, yet she loves softball, and I say, well, 215 00:11:38.559 --> 00:11:42.440 if you love softball, you'd love doing your shoulder exercises, 216 00:11:42.480 --> 00:11:44.639 because if you don't do your shoulder exercises, you might 217 00:11:44.639 --> 00:11:46.879 not be able to do softball, right, And that's the 218 00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:49.200 that's the ownership part, and she's got to own it 219 00:11:49.720 --> 00:11:51.919 if she wants to play softball. And it's it's the 220 00:11:51.919 --> 00:11:53.399 same thing with a lot of the kids that we 221 00:11:53.480 --> 00:11:56.200 talk about. Right, if you want to continue to play 222 00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:58.759 soccer at a higher level, then you have to learn 223 00:11:58.799 --> 00:12:02.080 to embrace some of these things that you don't want 224 00:12:02.200 --> 00:12:05.840 to do. I didn't want to go running in the 225 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:10.799 off season when it's cold outside and get ready for preseason. 226 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:13.600 I didn't want to do that, but I did it 227 00:12:13.639 --> 00:12:16.000 because I knew that it needed to be done. And 228 00:12:16.039 --> 00:12:17.600 that's why I don't miss. 229 00:12:17.320 --> 00:12:22.519 Playing, because I can either a sleep in or be 230 00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:25.080 go play golf and not have to worry about it. 231 00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:30.480 I mean, it's this seems like and I am not 232 00:12:30.639 --> 00:12:33.120 a parent. I have parents and pets. That is the 233 00:12:33.159 --> 00:12:35.360 extent of my parenting at the moment. It's a different 234 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:37.679 kind of parenting. But it is not like you, and 235 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:42.600 it is not like others. And I can sense that 236 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:46.639 there are times of frustration. There are times where you 237 00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:48.399 get to see them learn, you get to see the 238 00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:50.200 light come on and all that kind of stuff. But 239 00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:56.320 you mentioned enabling, and I wanted to ask how much 240 00:12:56.440 --> 00:13:01.240 it is enabling happening more today than it has previously. 241 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:05.519 I mean, because you know, with our parents and our grandparents, 242 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:08.120 you know, it was like, you know, I walked in 243 00:13:08.159 --> 00:13:10.960 the snow uphill both ways in bare feet going to school, 244 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:13.960 and they would always give you those lessons and you 245 00:13:14.080 --> 00:13:16.960 had to kind of sort it out yourself, and then 246 00:13:17.039 --> 00:13:20.279 when you didn't sort it out yourself, then they kind 247 00:13:20.279 --> 00:13:21.919 of came down on you a little bit, and then 248 00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:24.240 they came down on you until you got it right, 249 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:25.960 and it was just a different kind of It was 250 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:29.000 tough love that forced those kinds of lessons. 251 00:13:29.559 --> 00:13:33.840 Is there? Is it softer? How much softer is it now? 252 00:13:33.879 --> 00:13:35.600 Where we had the tough love of our parents and 253 00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:38.480 grandparents and then maybe a little softer than maybe a 254 00:13:38.519 --> 00:13:41.200 little softer. Is that the progression that you're seeing here? 255 00:13:43.159 --> 00:13:44.600 Is it? Yeah? 256 00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:46.000 Am I off? 257 00:13:46.120 --> 00:13:49.120 I mean just because of my thought of my grandparents 258 00:13:49.159 --> 00:13:52.840 where I mean I had full disclosure. I had a 259 00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:58.559 grandfather who was Army Air Corps Battle of Britain, Invasion 260 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:02.759 of North Africa. He was in the OSS, the predecessor 261 00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:05.240 to the CIA, and. 262 00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:06.960 You know, he would always tell the. 263 00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:11.639 Funny stories about what it was like to serve for 264 00:14:11.679 --> 00:14:13.919 his country in World War Two. He would he would 265 00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:18.639 never tell the really nasty ones. But for him, it 266 00:14:18.759 --> 00:14:21.919 literally was like the way of the ruler. And if 267 00:14:21.919 --> 00:14:24.279 you weren't getting anything done, if you weren't listening, the 268 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:27.480 rulers coming out and it's like bang. You know, it's 269 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:29.759 to try to get you into shape. And he knew 270 00:14:29.799 --> 00:14:32.039 that it was time to stop hitting me with a ruler. 271 00:14:32.039 --> 00:14:33.799 When I broke the ruler in half. You remember those 272 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:36.600 old the old eighteen to twenty four inch rulers that 273 00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:39.039 had like the metal rod across the top that kept 274 00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:42.200 it in place. He popped me with it once when 275 00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:45.200 I was I think like twelve or thirteen, and I 276 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:48.240 snapped the ruler in half, but you still had the 277 00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:51.039 metal bar for the full twenty four inches. And we 278 00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:53.840 looked at each other and we're like and he started laughing, 279 00:14:53.879 --> 00:14:55.559 and I'm like, yep, that's the last time that that's 280 00:14:55.559 --> 00:14:57.720 gonna happen. He finally had that moment where it's like, Okay, 281 00:14:57.759 --> 00:15:00.200 I have to think of different ways to discipline. That 282 00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:02.320 was their way of doing it with our grandparents, at 283 00:15:02.360 --> 00:15:06.120 least with my grandparents, and then because of what you saw, 284 00:15:06.120 --> 00:15:09.399 it's almost like having a player's coach and a disciplinarian. 285 00:15:09.399 --> 00:15:11.600 It's like I had the disciplinarian, and then my parents 286 00:15:11.639 --> 00:15:14.519 became the player's coach, and then you're trying to figure 287 00:15:14.559 --> 00:15:15.919 out the third way to do it. 288 00:15:16.639 --> 00:15:17.840 And so I don't know. 289 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:21.000 Where we are these days with this current generation of 290 00:15:21.080 --> 00:15:23.200 parents and stuff. Are we at the level of that 291 00:15:23.240 --> 00:15:25.559 third head coach where it's not the disciplinarian or the 292 00:15:25.559 --> 00:15:27.360 players coach and you've got to try to figure out 293 00:15:27.480 --> 00:15:28.600 how to navigate. 294 00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:29.080 It is that where we are? 295 00:15:29.399 --> 00:15:31.480 I think that's where a lot of us are trying 296 00:15:31.480 --> 00:15:35.679 to figure out where is where is that? And where 297 00:15:35.720 --> 00:15:38.120 do we live there in that area? And how do 298 00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:41.559 we get there? Because yeah, obviously times have changed, right, 299 00:15:41.559 --> 00:15:44.480 We're not getting hit at school anymore like my dad 300 00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:45.360 used to and. 301 00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:48.600 Take the kid behind the door and have the teacher 302 00:15:48.679 --> 00:15:50.159 sit there and you hear the noise and then the 303 00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:54.159 kid comes back out the class. Okay, yeah, exactly what 304 00:15:54.240 --> 00:15:55.159 happened in my school. 305 00:15:55.159 --> 00:15:55.360 Man. 306 00:15:55.759 --> 00:15:59.879 Yeah, I believe it. And so you know, and obviously 307 00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:02.039 a lot of these changes are for the good and 308 00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:06.519 for the betterment, but yeah, how do we still like, 309 00:16:09.320 --> 00:16:11.840 how do we get Yeah, how do we progress? And 310 00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:15.799 Nick our kids like strong enough to and and by 311 00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:20.879 strong enough I mean Jake mentally strong enough to you know, 312 00:16:20.960 --> 00:16:23.519 get through tough times and get through adversity and figure 313 00:16:23.559 --> 00:16:26.679 things out and and mature. Right. I don't want my 314 00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:29.759 kids being the ones that go to college, go through 315 00:16:29.799 --> 00:16:32.240 four years and then are like I wonder what I 316 00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:35.480 want to do? Right, And it's like, you know, we 317 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:38.399 need to, you know, take some responsibility here and figure 318 00:16:38.440 --> 00:16:40.240 things out and grow up a little bit, right, it's 319 00:16:40.360 --> 00:16:43.360 like that's where I think, like the maturity level. I 320 00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:47.799 think as time has gone or taking longer and longer 321 00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:51.279 to mature, you know, it seems like. 322 00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:55.080 You know, you gotta come. You almost have to drag 323 00:16:55.159 --> 00:16:57.759 them to you have to drag them forward. Sometimes it's 324 00:16:57.759 --> 00:16:58.840 like it's okay, you know. 325 00:16:59.039 --> 00:17:01.639 Yeah, And I think that is hand in hand a 326 00:17:01.720 --> 00:17:04.200 little bit with the enabling and you know, trying to 327 00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:06.720 make it better for our kids than it was for us, 328 00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:11.000 and you know, which is great. And obviously a lot 329 00:17:11.039 --> 00:17:12.880 of us have more means than when we did when 330 00:17:12.880 --> 00:17:18.839 we were little, which is great. But yeah, just figuring out, 331 00:17:19.079 --> 00:17:22.640 you know, within that, how do we still help our 332 00:17:22.759 --> 00:17:27.039 kids be ready for the real life. Because if there's 333 00:17:27.119 --> 00:17:30.240 one thing I tell every single MENTI, it's life isn't fair. 334 00:17:31.039 --> 00:17:33.079 It is not, So how are you going to deal 335 00:17:33.119 --> 00:17:33.400 with it? 336 00:17:34.440 --> 00:17:37.640 What was the most recent example of how And obviously 337 00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:39.240 you don't have to say who the mente was, but 338 00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:41.480 what was the most recent example that you had to 339 00:17:41.640 --> 00:17:43.839 remind somebody that life wasn't fair? Could have been a MENTI, 340 00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:45.839 could have been somebody close, could have been a family friend. 341 00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:47.200 When was the last time that you had to mention 342 00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:48.200 that to somebody, you. 343 00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:52.440 Had a kid who is a freshman in high school 344 00:17:52.599 --> 00:17:58.240 and he got blamed for a goal that they gave 345 00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:01.640 up in a high school game. He's playing varsity, And 346 00:18:01.759 --> 00:18:04.400 I said, you know, hey, dude, this is how it's 347 00:18:04.440 --> 00:18:08.640 going to be right where right or wrong. Younger players 348 00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:11.039 are going to get blamed for things that's not on them, yep, 349 00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:17.240 And you need to be able to realize and figure out, Okay, 350 00:18:17.480 --> 00:18:19.480 what can I take from this that's helpful and what 351 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:21.599 do I need to ignore and just know, like, hey, 352 00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:24.279 this is part of unfortunately, this is part of the process. 353 00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:30.039 And you know, I'm going to listen, and but I'm 354 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:33.799 not going to necessarily let this affect me and take 355 00:18:33.799 --> 00:18:36.240 it in so much that I'm going to be placing 356 00:18:36.279 --> 00:18:38.920 all this blame on myself and letting it affect my play. 357 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:42.200 So that was the like, hey, dude, yeah, life is 358 00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:44.519 not fair in this situation, right, Younger guys just take 359 00:18:44.519 --> 00:18:46.319 the brunt of it. I've seen it at high school, 360 00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:52.039 college and professionally from other players and from coaches, and 361 00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:54.599 so it just you need to have some thicker skin 362 00:18:54.759 --> 00:18:55.720 in those situations. 363 00:18:55.960 --> 00:18:59.359 That's going to say Ish rolls downhill always has and 364 00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:02.720 it's all going to be the the older players looking 365 00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:04.880 at the the older guys looking at the younger guys, 366 00:19:04.920 --> 00:19:07.319 the older player looking at the younger player. Yeah, you're 367 00:19:07.519 --> 00:19:09.200 since you've been out here the least amount of time, 368 00:19:09.240 --> 00:19:11.240 it's obviously your fault. Then you'll go back and look 369 00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:12.680 at it on tape, and then you won't say anything 370 00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:14.200 about it. If you're the older player, if you're the 371 00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:16.720 one that was at fault, you said there, yeah, yeah, 372 00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:18.920 it happened. Yeah, it's just it's over there. It's it's 373 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:19.440 over in time. 374 00:19:20.599 --> 00:19:21.400 How I mean? 375 00:19:21.519 --> 00:19:23.599 And I don't want to use I don't want to 376 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:25.599 use the word that I haven't in my in my 377 00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:26.319 head right now? 378 00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:28.279 How pointed are. 379 00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:34.400 The How pointed is the smack these days that from 380 00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:36.680 older players to younger players? 381 00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:40.359 I mean, how is it? Is it still the same where. 382 00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:42.279 When we were all growing up that that you mentioned 383 00:19:42.279 --> 00:19:43.759 how things roll downhill? 384 00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:45.880 Is it different? Is it the same? 385 00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:48.160 Is there more of it these days that you get 386 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:51.319 to that you witness. How How is the trickle down 387 00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:53.319 effective blame that you see these days? 388 00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:55.079 Yeah? I think it's different, and it's different in a 389 00:19:55.119 --> 00:19:59.079 better way. I think that there's less of that I 390 00:19:59.119 --> 00:20:02.200 remember when I was a rookie in MLS, like we 391 00:20:02.279 --> 00:20:07.279 had a veteran locker room, and yeah, there were times 392 00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:13.119 where they were hard on rookies, like just absolutely smashing 393 00:20:13.160 --> 00:20:15.640 balls at you in a passing drill, knowing that you're 394 00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:17.720 not going to take a good touch and then complaining 395 00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:19.440 when you don't take a good touch right And I 396 00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:21.960 think a lot of that is just kind of like, hey, 397 00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:24.079 let me, let me toughen you up and let me 398 00:20:24.119 --> 00:20:27.880 show you, like, hey, this happened to me, so you know, hey, few, 399 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:28.799 I'm going to do it to you. 400 00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:31.000 And so it was a test. It was like an 401 00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:33.039