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Speaker 1: Remember that time you had to rescue your friend from

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a dungeon because they were being punished for having a

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knot in their shoelaces. Pretty wild, wasn't it. Well, this

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story is for you. Let's get into it.

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Speaker 2: Helloll, story time truly not a glory time.

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Speaker 1: I'm a standing You'll be fine.

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Speaker 2: Follow the whole storyline.

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Speaker 1: Hello, ol, story time make you live at least one time.

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Well time. This is the story of the time Queen

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Jigglywigs quit. Yeah, she just got up and left. No

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one had even known that a queen could do that.

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Speaker 2: That's it for me. I'm out of here. Y'all can

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just go ahead and find yourselves a new queen here

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because this queen is unqueening queen ou't y'all.

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Speaker 1: The people of Kookbookia did not know how to go

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out and find themselves a new queen. Something like this

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had never happened before. They were still trying to understand

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why a queen would even want to quit, had they

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really been that bad to rule over? Normally, if a

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king or queen were to step down, the throne would

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go to the next of kin. But when Queen Jiggilywigs

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left town, she brought her entire family with her. No child,

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Am I will ever be queen? Nah uh, no way.

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There are so many better jobs out there, especially jobs

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that come with health insurance and a dental plan. So

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the people of Koukbookia had to figure out how to

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hire themselves a new queen. Great news, everyone, I think

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we just found our next queen. We're flying one in

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from a different castle up state. This queen comes with

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eight years of queen boss experience and at her last job,

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she got the Millanno's pizza chain to open a new

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location right inside her castle, a move that went over

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really well with all of the knights anyway. She seemed

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super queen tasktic on our video call, and that's really

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what this castle needs right now, someone who can put

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the queen back and queen. Anticipation and excitement began to

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build in Kokbookia. Every one was very excited for the

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arrival of the new Queen. They rolled out the red

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carpet and everything. Though it was the smoothest rollout, the

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red carpet leading up to the castle door was pretty

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lumpy and the new queen almost took a tumble. So sorry,

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your majesty, we don't do a ton of red carpet

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rollouts around here. I'll see to it that my carpet

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team gets a little more practice before the next time.

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Never mind the carpet, the queen said, with a wave

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of her hand, I'd like a tour of the castle

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at once. Almost every person in Koukbukia had shown up

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at the castle gates to witness the arrival of their

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new queen. This was a really big day for them.

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It was like meeting someone who was Instagram famous. Costa

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and his two brothers, Xander and Nko, looked on from

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where they were standing in the crowd. These three brothers

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thought it was pretty special that their own father was

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the first person to greet the new queen and lead

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her on a tour.

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Speaker 3: Of the castle.

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Speaker 1: None of the other dad's got to do anything quite

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that important. All Simon Larrabie's dad got to do was

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help roll out the red carpet and look how well

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that had gone. While the tour was taking place, the

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people waiting outside the castle began to talk. They were

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all itching to know what the new queen was like

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and what sorts of changes she would make. Would she

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help bring a pizza ria to their castle too. I

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really hope she plans on putting a candy shop in there.

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Nico told his brothers, Yeah, agreed, Xander. A candy shop

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and maybe one of those food horse and buggies that

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they can drive right into the castle. Maybe it could

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serve jelly donuts, and none of those donuts with the

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weird lemon filling. Ugh Costa had been lost in thought.

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What about an in castle store that sells whoopy cushions.

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Speaker 3: Both of his brothers looked at him.

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Speaker 1: Funny, It's just that I can't find my whoopy cushion anywhere,

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and I'm worried I might need to buy a new one, right,

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answered Nico with as much enthusiasm as a sleepy sloth.

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Because a whoopy cushion store makes sense. I'm sure the

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Queen will get right on that, brother. What the Queen

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actually got right on were two things, her bedroom closet

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and the castle's dungeon. The tour had mostly gone well,

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with plenty of things to admire about the castle. It was,

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after all, a castle loaded with all sorts of great

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a castle. He thinks, things like turrets, spiral staircases, and

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chambers with four post curtain beds, all the goodies you

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would expect to find in a castle. But that closet

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in the Queen's new bedroom was not very big, definitely

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not a proper walking closet. And without a proper walking closet,

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how did anyone expect her to display her large collection

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of shoes? Did they think she was just going to

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shove them all under her bed like some kind of monster.

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But while Costa, Xander, and Nico's dad agreed that the

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closet left much to be desired, it was her comment

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about the dungeon that really came as a surprise. What

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is this place? You call this a dungeon? Is this

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a joke? Look how small it is. Even a queen

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b would insist on having a dungeon bigger than this.

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The size of the dungeon had never been a problem before,

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your majesty, I think you'll find the dungeon is plenty big.

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Rather than spending all that money on making the dungeon bigger,

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why not consider a whoopy cushions. A few weeks ago,

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I ran over my son's whoope cushion using my medieval lawnmower,

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and I still haven't told him. Now, this guy thought

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the new Queen was the type of person to gladly

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welcome people's bad ideas.

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Speaker 3: He couldn't have been more wrong.

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Speaker 1: Did you just suggest a store that exclusively sells a

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children's toy that makes inappropriate and rude bathroom noises whenever

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someone sits on it? Because if you did, you'll have

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plenty of time to think about how much of a

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brain feart idea that was while sitting in our much

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too small dungeon guards. The guards opened the dungeon doors

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and threw Costa, Xander, and Nico's dad in. The boys

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then had to explain all of this to their mother

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when they got home.

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Speaker 2: Oh, what does your father do this time? Boys? Did?

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He upset the queen by telling her that walking closets

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are a waste of both space and money. Because that's

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easy for him to say. He practically just wears the

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same pair of pants every day. No, Mom, said Costa,

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he didn't do anything to deserve being thrown in a dungeon.

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Normally you have to do something pretty bad to get

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yourself locked up. Their mom thought back on the time

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their neighbor Steve, had gotten himself thrown in the dungeon

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for playing ding dong ditch at the castle. The guards

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hadn't taken kindly to someone knocking on the door and

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then running away. Don't worry, mom, we have a plan

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to get Dad out. Nico and Xander weren't aware of

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any such plan, because no such plan existed. You can't

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just break someone out of a dungeon, Costa, Nico told

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his brother after Yeah, agreed, Xander, unless you're some kind

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of professional dungeon breaker outer, which none of us are.

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That was true, but it also gave Costa an idea.

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Who are you calling?

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Speaker 3: Costa?

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Speaker 2: Shit?

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Speaker 1: Keep it down, it's ringing? Yeah, Hi, is this the

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number for the dungeon breakout guy?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 1: He just got himself thrown in the dungeon? How does

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the dungeon breakout guy get thrown in the dungeon?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: You're not supposed to break people out of the dungeon.

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It's against the law. Yeah, But who's gonna help us

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break out out of the dungeon? Then Betty Gooberroni came

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to mind. If anyone should be able to break into

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a dungeon, it was probably this lady. She was the

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most strong and fearless person they knew. She'd once lifted

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a dragon over her head and carried it off to

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another village after it overtoasted her toast with its fiery breath.

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I know you were only trying to be helpful, dragon,

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but that was too much. Brown toast good, black toast bad.

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But Betty Gooberouni, they found out, was not available either.

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She too had been thrown into the dungeon. Oh Man,

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not Betty goober Rooney. What did she even do? They

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eventually got word on the street that Betty Gooberroni had

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eaten a bagel. Apparently the Queen did not approve of

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people eating bagels, especially begels with extra cream cheese. Paul

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Small's wasn't available to help either. He was now in

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the dungeon for saying pretty please. According to the Queen,

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there was nothing pretty about the word please. Even their

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friend from school, the kid who was always up for.

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Speaker 3: Anything, had gotten thrown into the dungeon.

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Speaker 1: Walking around with his shoelaces untied had led to his punishment.

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Speaker 2: This is ridiculous, complained Nico. The Queen is locking people

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up for the worst possible reasons.

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Speaker 1: Xander couldn't agree more. Exactly, having loose shoelaces is no

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reason to throw someone in a dungeon. My shoelaces are

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always coming untied. Are they gonna throw me in the dungeon?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 1: I never should have switched from Valcrow. More and more,

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the three brothers kept hearing of other silly things. People

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were being punished for smiling with the wrong kind of smile,

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not blowing on hot food before putting it in their mouth,

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forgetting to reset the clock on their medieval microwave after

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a power outage, taking too long to give someone a

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shout out on their show. And here I thought this

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new queen was going to be nice, grumbled Costa. Maybe

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the three of us are going to have to do

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something without anyone else's help. And by three of us,

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I mean you two, Xander, and Nico didn't know anything

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about breaking people out of dungeon's certainly wasn't a subject

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taught in school. Look, Fellas, why don't I go talk

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to the queen myself?

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Speaker 3: Offered Nico.

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Speaker 1: She needs to hear that this is not how we

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do things here in Kokbookia. The dungeon is for serious things,

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not for people who like dipping their cookies in a

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glass of milk. Before Nico could even speak with the Queen.

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He got hauled off to the dungeon because the zipper

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on his pants were left down. When his brothers found

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out about that, they sort of just shrugged it off. Well, yeah,

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of course they're gonna toss you in a dungeon if

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your fly is down, said Costa. You've got to remember

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to zip up after you pee. In this case, the

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punishment is totally fair. If Nico didn't want to do

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the time, he shouldn't have done the crime. But whether

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or not, Nico deserved it be in the dungeon for

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forgetting to zip up his pants, Xander and Costa were

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willing to rescue him too. This time it was Xander's turn.

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He avoided the Queen and went straight to the dungeon.

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But that's as far as his plan went, because up

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until this point he hadn't even known what a dungeon

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looked like. Ah Man, so many bars everywhere. They're not

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even the breakable or bendy kind of bars either. It

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didn't take long for the dungeon guards to notice Xander, Hey,

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kids aren't supposed to be poking around down here. We're

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gonna have to report you to the queen.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: If Daniel empty Box had gotten thrown into the dungeon

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for being too old to sing Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star.

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Then Xander wasn't liking his chances. After being caught trying

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to free a bunch of prisoners by bending metal bars

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with his bare hands, Xander looked the.

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Speaker 3: Guard in the eye. I'm not down here. You're down here.

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Speaker 1: You might think I'm down here, but I'm actually up there,

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because sometimes in life, we're all a little down here

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and a little up there. Xander had seen people use

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mind tricks like this before. Without saying a word. The

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guard opened one of the dungeon doors in motion towards Xander. Sir,

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are you opening the door right now because you're about

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to lock me up? Or because you're gonna let me

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bring everyone home? Because, after all, aren't we all just

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a little in and out of the dungeon. Sometimes we're

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in it, sometimes.

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Speaker 3: We're out of it.

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Speaker 2: It's more of a state of mind.

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Speaker 3: Wouldn't you say?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: All right? Well, I tried.

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Speaker 1: Costa was now the only brother who wasn't locked up,

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and since it all came down to him, he was

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gonna need a really good plan in order to swipe

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the dungeon key from one of the guards, Costa decided

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he would need to distract the guards by having one

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of them step on a whoope cushion.

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Speaker 3: The whoopy cushion.

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Speaker 1: Would then let out a sound that would have the

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guards asking.

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Speaker 3: Hey, who farted was that you?

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Speaker 2: No, it wasn't me.

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Speaker 1: Are you sure it wasn't you?

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Speaker 3: It wasn't me, Maybe it was wrong.

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Speaker 2: Hey, don't go pointing the finger at me.

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Speaker 3: I've never ever tooted.

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Speaker 1: Then, while the guards were wasting time arguing, Costa would

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swoop in and nab the key. But of course Costa

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still couldn't find his whoopy cushion, and there still weren't

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any whoopy cushion stores, so Costa was left with no

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choice but to switch to operation tippy toes. A few

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prisoners took notice as Costa carefully snuck down into the dungeon.

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He was real smooth. This guy barely made a sound,

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just how one needs to be when sneaking up on

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a dungeon guard. Costa was now right behind the guard

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who had a key clip to his belt.

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Speaker 3: He was ready to make his move.

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Speaker 1: Dentnene Dent. The guard turned around at once, Hey, who

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made that sound. All of the prisoners who had been

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watching hung their heads. Why had this kid done that? Sorry, guys,

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I just needed a little bit of action seene music

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to pump myself up for the big move. It's always

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more exciting when they play some music in the movies,

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and you know it always works out for them. Now,

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Costa needed to pump himself up to outrun the guards,

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so he kind of just did it again, Dente dent din.

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The prisoners began shouting stop thinking you're in some kind

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of action movie and just run, you, silly boy, even

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as brothers were.

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Speaker 3: Yelling for him to hurry.

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Speaker 2: All right, all right, I'm running the way now. See.

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It's just that some of us need some action music

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when we're being chased.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Costa ran as fast as he could until he could

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no longer hear the guards behind him. Yeah, that's what

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I'm talking about, dent. Costa had narrowly escaped, becoming the

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latest prisoner, but instead of looking for someplace to hide,

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he did what seemed like his most foolish act yet.

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He went straight to the queen. Like, seriously, Costa, who

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does that?

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Speaker 3: Boy?

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Speaker 1: If you're here to ask me to release one of

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your friends from the dungeon, then you better think again.

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All of those people deserve to be there, especially the

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kid walking around with a zipper down Costa noticed the

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queen staring in a mustard stain on his shirt, and

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she didn't strike him as the type who would be

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cool with that.

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Speaker 3: He had to think fast.

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Speaker 1: Hey, did you know the baker down the road sometimes

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eats more donus than he sells? He blurted out, does

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he now interesting? The Queen was no longer looking at

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the She was demanding one of her henchmen bring her

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the baker. Costa felt bad, knowing what was in store

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for the baker, but this seemed like his only way out.

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As he slept away, he saw two guards dragging the

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baker toward the castle, acting like he hadn't just shoved

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an entire doughnut in his mouth. At home, Costa put

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on a fresh shirt before sitting down to eat his dinner,

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his dad's dinner, Xander's dinner, and Nico's dinner.

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Speaker 3: Good thing, it was taco night.

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Speaker 1: You know, Mom, you don't have to keep putting food

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on plates for people who have been thrown in the dungeon.

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They're probably getting dungeon tacos instead. But don't worry, I'm

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sure they'll still like your tacos better. After his fourth

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plate of dessert, Costa went back to speak with the Queen,

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this time wearing a clean shirt. So as I was

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trying to tell you before, the Queen didn't let Costa finish.

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Now she was looking at his belly poking out from

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under his shirt.

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Speaker 3: Boy, why is.

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Speaker 1: Your belly sticking out like that? You didn't eat three

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extra meals that your mother had set aside for people

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who had been tossed in the dungeon? Did you a

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crime like that was surely land a person in the

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dungeon as well as Costa slowly began turning himself around.

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He said, you know, I hear the mailman delivers his

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own mail before delivering yours. He then bolted out of there, singing, dentneh.

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Speaker 3: The queen began waving her arms through the air.

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Speaker 2: Hey, come back here, you extra food eating criminal.

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Speaker 1: He was sure glad the queen didn't recognize him the

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next day when he returned wearing a fake mustache, But

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like before, the Queen noticed something else that she didn't like,

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and once again Costa had to give someone else's name up.

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Jeanie Matthews feeds her pie crust to her dog. Harold

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Baker plays with his kid's toys when they're not home.

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The groundskeeper still gets his mommy to do his laundry.

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Pretty soon, there wasn't anyone left for Costa to tell on.

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Everyone was in the dungeon, everyone except Costa, that is.

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The Queen personally escorted him to the dungeon herself, whereupon

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entry Costa was steve some pretty angry looks from many

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of the prisoners they knew who had told on the

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mailman and the baker and Jeanie Matthews. You must have

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thought you were being so clever telling on others to

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get yourself off the hook. You know, I never forgot

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about that mustard stain on your shirt. I was just

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waiting until you had no one left to tell on.

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The Queen motioned for one of the guards to unlock

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the dungeon door for Costa, and you go prisoner. But

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Costa didn't go in. You can't do your majesty.

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Speaker 2: Look for yourself.

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Speaker 1: The dungeon is full. There was no way Costa could

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squeeze in, even if you tried well huffed the Queen.

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This just proves exactly what I've been saying all along.

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We need a bigger dungeon. As soon as the new

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dungeon is complete, we'll have plenty of room for you too.

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A slight smirk appeared on Costa's face. You might have

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a hard time getting anyone to build you that new

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dungeon when I helped you lock up all of the builders.

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Cheryl Greasy is the best builder around, But I told

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you she cheats and makes her gravy using a package

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that she buys at the store. You threw her in

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the dungeon, too bad, though I hear Cheryl Greasy builds

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a pretty fine closet. The Queen's tone completely changed.

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Speaker 2: But if I let prisoners out to build a new dungeon,

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then the dungeon won't be full anymore, and then people

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won't believe we actually need a new dungeon. And if

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they don't believe we need a new dungeon, they won't

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believe I need a new walk in closet either.

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Speaker 3: Costa was trying to understand the logic here.

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Speaker 1: Uh, your majesty, were you just locking up people to

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prove to everyone that the dungeon was too small. Is

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that why you were picking on people with untied shoelaces

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and mustard stains on their shirts, because you wanted to

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crowd the dungeon. The Queen shifted uncomfortably. I only really

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cared about getting a new closet, but I thought people

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would think I was silly if that was the only

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thing I asked for. I thought I needed to first

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push for something a little more serious, like a dungeon.

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Cheryl Greasy spoke up and told the Queen that she

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could start working on her new closet as early as tomorrow.

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No one cared if that's all the Queen wanted, especially

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if they didn't have to stay locked up anymore. And

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the money you're saving by not having to build a

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new dungeon could be put towards something else, like a

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new whoopee cushion store suggested Costa, but this only led

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to a huge argument among the prisoners over which store

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or restaurant the castle needed. Most things got quite heated,

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and at one point the new queen started to understand

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why the last queen had quit, But in the end

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it was her who had the final say, and she

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decided to go with a shoe store, which worked out

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well given she was about to get a new closet.

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Speaker 3: Everyone agreed on one.

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Speaker 1: Thing, though, the Castle dungeon was just fine as it was,

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especially when only used for prisoners who actually deserved to

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be in a dungeon, like dads who lose their kids,

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whoope cushions and never bother to tell them the end.

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That's the story, And here is your question of the week.

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What is something you did today that you'd be surprised

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to get punished for? Thanks to cost Xander and Nico,

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00:19:01,319 --> 00:19:04,960
and shout out to the following listeners. Meghan and Bradford

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from Chakarta, Theo from Silver Spring, Maryland, Ala from Frederick

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00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:14,079
and New Brunswick, Vienna from Miami, Florida, Zoe and Zada

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Miller from Kennesaw, Georgia, Harper Lee Hutchinson from Nottingham, England,

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a Zon from New Delhi, India, Mila from Portland, Oregon.

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And Noah and Jordan from Glendale, California. Thanks so much

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for listening and I'll catchia on the next one.