Speaker 1: Oh hello, it's your friend's ex husband, who admittedly made
Speaker 1: the best squacam only in the friend group. Ali Ward
Speaker 1: back with a very just sumptuous episode of Ologies. So
Speaker 1: we have talked a lot about the noggin on this podcast,
Speaker 1: But what about butts? Why do we have them? How
Speaker 1: do they work? Why do we want to touch them?
Speaker 1: We're gonna dive pretty deep after. I think patreon supporters
Speaker 1: of course at Patreon dot com, slash ologies, and everyone
Speaker 1: who subscribes and rates and of course reviews Ologies for
Speaker 1: me to select a newborn review such as this one
Speaker 1: from Miss fairy Princess this week, who wrote in that
Speaker 1: Ologies has made me realize that every subject is interesting.
Speaker 1: You just need to talk to someone who loves what
Speaker 1: they do. Bonus, there are transcriptions and bleeped episodes for
Speaker 1: those who think squear words are inappropriate around certain company,
Speaker 1: available on aliboard dot com to make sure it's accessible
Speaker 1: for everyone. Exclamation point, well timed review, Miss fairy Princess,
Speaker 1: thank you, let's crack into this episode. Let's get into it.
Speaker 1: Glue Udeology study of butts. We're here, it's happening. Life
Speaker 1: is beautiful. Okay. So in Greek gludios means the rump,
Speaker 1: and the word butt comes from the end of a
Speaker 1: piece of something. But if you google gluteology you will
Speaker 1: find that we are not the first to use it
Speaker 1: in reference to all matters ours. So if you look
Speaker 1: up the word rumpology side note, you'll find that that
Speaker 1: is related, but somewhat more spiritual discipline. But don't worry,
Speaker 1: we will fill in those scracks for you. So this
Speaker 1: ologist is a primatologist, an anthropologist, a science host and correspondent.
Speaker 1: You may have heard her on Star Talk or Not
Speaker 1: Geo Wilde's Everything You Didn't Know About Animals. She's co
Speaker 1: hosted Curiosity Daily and more. And we met years ago
Speaker 1: at a NERD Brigade dinner and I'd always lamented that
Speaker 1: there couldn't be a second Primatology episode, but she emailed
Speaker 1: me recently reminding me that she has appeared on TV
Speaker 1: to talk specifically about butts, as that is her specialty.
Speaker 1: So I welcomed Gluteology with open arms. Stick around to
Speaker 1: learn what exactly is a butt, which animal has the
Speaker 1: largest butt, cultural butt preferences, why many people enjoy the
Speaker 1: esthetics of ass, squatty potties, trends, hairiness, shady injections, personal,
Speaker 1: very personal revelations but versus legs, and of course, the
Speaker 1: importance of self acceptance, and plenty of very cheeky punts
Speaker 1: with entertainer, primatologist and gluteologist Natalia Reagan.
Speaker 2: Hello, Ah, how are you.
Speaker 1: Butts, butts, butts, butts, butts.
Speaker 2: I've been doing it to shots. Butts, butts, butts, butts, butts,
Speaker 2: bots butts. I'm rearing and ready to get behind this topic.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry it took us so long to get here.
Speaker 3: Alli.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get to the bottom of a lot of questions. Ay,
Speaker 1: first thing I'm going to make you do is say
Speaker 1: your first and last name and your pronouns.
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you Reagan, and my pronouns are
Speaker 2: she and her You are.
Speaker 1: I think a gluteologist. If I looked into it the
Speaker 1: right way, you could be a rumpologist or a gluteologist.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking gluteologist because rumpologist I've only found a few
Speaker 2: and I definitely don't necessarily want to be lumped in
Speaker 2: with those rumps. If you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Rumpology is more like palm reading, but for the buttox.
Speaker 2: Yeah, more astrology. If you know what I mean. Ok, yeah,
Speaker 2: And I was able to do some digging. I went
Speaker 2: real deep in there into the cracks and crevasses. And
Speaker 2: Sylvester Stallone's mom, Allie Jacqueline Stallone or Jackie Stallone, as
Speaker 2: a rumpologist, and she claims that the Babylonians the Greeks
Speaker 2: did this, but there is no back story or history
Speaker 2: other than what she's done. She an Olf Buck who
Speaker 2: is a blind clairvoyant out of Germany who also feels
Speaker 2: the naked tushes of his friends to give them sort
Speaker 2: of fortune telling of what to expect from the future,
Speaker 2: from the literal past which is behind them.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Oh. I should also note, honestly, Alli, go to her
Speaker 2: website because there's she does. She has I think four
Speaker 2: examples of different butts, and one of them is I
Speaker 2: think it says American Action Hero. And I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 2: come on, did she put her son's butt? There?
Speaker 1: Is it in a diaper from when he's a bid
Speaker 1: the Oh my god, Okay, wait, he's Stallone. She's really
Speaker 1: caph realizing on it.
Speaker 2: She has very strong opinions about the cleft or the
Speaker 2: crack in a butt and what that means, and One
Speaker 2: of my favorite things she said was that was it.
Speaker 2: The lawyers had the long Yeah, long cracks. The short
Speaker 2: cracks belonged to wait, hold on no bankers. Yeah, bankers
Speaker 2: had short cracks. Lawyers had long cracks. The width of
Speaker 2: a crack also was sort of associated with professions. A
Speaker 2: politician had a wide crack, cops had a narrow one.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's a very hairy fortune. Five hundred
Speaker 1: CEO female movie star. You're right, male action hero movie star.
Speaker 1: I think I can see just a whisper of scroat
Speaker 1: in that. And Adrian Wow, wow wow.
Speaker 2: That will be the only cologne Stallone will wear.
Speaker 1: Okay, ps, I looked it up, and I hate to
Speaker 1: be the bearer of bad news, but the late Jackie
Speaker 1: Stallone passed into the Great Behind four months ago. If
Speaker 1: I ever do rambology, I will have to hunt down
Speaker 1: one of her proteges to read my rump.
Speaker 3: Should I do it? Should I?
Speaker 1: You know what, let's all move forward and let's just
Speaker 1: get down to business. So so happy A gluteologist will say,
Speaker 1: we've established that. I think, now, how did you get
Speaker 1: into studying butts and monkeys and primate butts? And I mean,
Speaker 1: what even is a butt?
Speaker 2: What is a butt? I was always a fan of
Speaker 2: butts as a child, only because I remember, actually I
Speaker 2: bit my mom on the butt at a restaurant once
Speaker 2: and I called it. I watched Sesame Street, and I
Speaker 2: remember they did like love pinches and love bytes, and
Speaker 2: so I gave her a love bite, and I remember
Speaker 2: her that was the first time I actually had to apologize.
Speaker 2: You know when your parents make you apologize, and that's
Speaker 2: you kind of remember that being a really pivotal moment
Speaker 2: where you're like, I did something bad, I'm sorry. It
Speaker 2: was because I bit my mom on the butt.
Speaker 1: I bet she she loves the story now, though.
Speaker 2: I don't even know if she remembers. I wonder if
Speaker 2: she does when I talk to her next, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: have to ask. Yeah. As a kid, though, I mean
Speaker 2: I was, I never had that bean pole phase. I
Speaker 2: always was kind of like a just sort of a
Speaker 2: muscular kid. And I remember even like a babysitter of
Speaker 2: mine complimenting my shapely legs and I was eight, oh boy,
Speaker 2: and it was she was like a grandma. So it
Speaker 2: wasn't meant anyway other than just like, you're not a
Speaker 2: string bean. And then when I would got to junior high,
Speaker 2: I remember everybody, you know, back back in the day,
Speaker 2: this is the early nineties, flat butts were all the rage.
Speaker 2: And then I remember I kind of had a shelf
Speaker 2: that my friends used to joke about all the time.
Speaker 2: I got made fun of a lot by my girlfriends.
Speaker 2: And and then I remember baby Pack came out. It's
Speaker 2: just so brown, it's out there, and I remember just
Speaker 2: loving that song and Rumpshaker. There were a lot of
Speaker 2: songs in the early nineties that I definitely was a
Speaker 2: hip to. And really, I mean that just shows you
Speaker 2: how dorky I am. I said, hip too, but yeah.
Speaker 2: And then as I got older, I really enjoyed understanding
Speaker 2: the evolution of how humans became, you know, and look
Speaker 2: the way we do today, how we evolved. And I
Speaker 2: remember when I realized in a paleoanthropology and a actually
Speaker 2: it was an intro to biological anthropology class that I
Speaker 2: first was taught that basically walking on two legs led
Speaker 2: to the bigger booty in humans versus non human primates.
Speaker 2: So yeah, walking on two legs because basically non human
Speaker 2: primates monkeys and apes and lemurs and lorises don't have
Speaker 2: a sweet peachy keister like we do. They have. Some
Speaker 2: actually have issial collosities, many of the circopithecoids or what
Speaker 2: we have been calling old world monkeys, but we're moving
Speaker 2: away from that term because it's inherently a little outdated.
Speaker 1: So an issial callosity, by the bye, is a fancy
Speaker 1: term for those butt pads on some primates, and it's
Speaker 1: coming from issuel of the issue, which is part of
Speaker 1: your pelvis, the part that your yoga teacher may have
Speaker 1: called your sit bones during a yummy stretch, and callosity
Speaker 1: as in big old callous. So some primates have these
Speaker 1: large disc pads that they sit on, but we have
Speaker 1: luscious cleaved cushions.
Speaker 2: Why but yeah, so we actually have this butt because
Speaker 2: we have to walk on two legs, and the increased
Speaker 2: size of the gluteus maximus medius and minimis muscles helps
Speaker 2: support that mode of locomotion. So they help stabilize our
Speaker 2: ability to walk and stand and bend over and do
Speaker 2: so all sorts of things. Although I did find out
Speaker 2: that they do not are they're not necessarily used in torking,
Speaker 2: believe it or not. It's more pelvic glutes. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: so glutes are not as used as you thought, as
Speaker 2: you think for something like torquing, which I thought, Oh,
Speaker 2: that's got to be you know, that's why I can't
Speaker 2: do it. My glutes are not strong enough. But apparently
Speaker 2: it's my pelvis really okay.
Speaker 1: Side note, I looked into this and someone calling herself
Speaker 1: the torking Technician offers workshops to work shops if you
Speaker 1: will teaching quote the basic anatomy of the hips, which
Speaker 1: muscles are used for adduction and abduction, and specific isolation
Speaker 1: exercises so you can gain the ability to communicate with
Speaker 1: these muscles for a proper torque. And No, Miley Cyrus
Speaker 1: did not invent torking with her twenty thirteen legendary VMA appearance.
Speaker 1: It blossomed, not surprisingly undercredited from the West African dance
Speaker 1: the Mapuka, which may have originated from the bump. Either way,
Speaker 1: booty shakings rutes start in the hips.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's less about the actual gluteous muscles and more
Speaker 2: about the actual pelvis and the movement of it. And
Speaker 2: the butt gets you know, gets jiggled around as you
Speaker 2: move your pelvis and your legs, you know, being the
Speaker 2: behind that gets that, you know, the rump shaking if
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is so good. This means there's room for improvement,
Speaker 1: and we know there is now amazing. Now, Okay, you
Speaker 1: became a primatologist and an anthropologist. How did you end
Speaker 1: up studying this? From going having shapely legs and biting
Speaker 1: butts to becoming a professional ologist? How'd you do it?
Speaker 2: That's a really good question. So yeah, growing up, I
Speaker 2: used to actually have well, I should change that. I
Speaker 2: still have recurring King Kong nightmares. I started having them
Speaker 2: when I was about two or three, very very very young.
Speaker 2: I watched that movie, probably too young, but I would
Speaker 2: hear the footsteps coming and would you know, run to
Speaker 2: the center of the house where there was no windows,
Speaker 2: and I remember King Kong would just rip off of
Speaker 2: the house and eat my family one by one by one.
Speaker 1: So in Italia's nightmares, King Kong would straight up eat
Speaker 1: her like a granola bar. And so she started to
Speaker 1: try to control the narrative of her dreams, shrinking King
Speaker 1: Kong down to a more snugly ape.
Speaker 2: And in one dream, but I opened the door and
Speaker 2: it was an orangutan and it hugged me. And ever
Speaker 2: since then, I was enamored with primates and just it
Speaker 2: was almost like Stockholm syndrome, where all of a sudden
Speaker 2: I was just in love and didn't have that fear,
Speaker 2: and so I wanted to be a zoologist. But as
Speaker 2: I got older, and I think this happens a lot
Speaker 2: with you know, not just with young girls in steam,
Speaker 2: but anybody that wants to do steam or STEM. They
Speaker 2: don't excel in math and science when they get to
Speaker 2: junior high in high school, and so they just feel,
Speaker 2: you know, defeated, and they you know, pick a different path,
Speaker 2: which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing great in math and science, mostly math,
Speaker 2: and so I threw myself into the one thing I
Speaker 2: was good at, which was at the time comedy in theater,
Speaker 2: because you know, being a shapely kid, read husky, I
Speaker 2: was definitely having to turn to comedy to deflect any
Speaker 2: sort of bullying and things like that. So I became
Speaker 2: a theater dork and I ended up going to school
Speaker 2: for theater, but took an anthropology class my first year
Speaker 2: at uc or vine Go Anteaters, and I fell in
Speaker 2: love with biological anthropology, just the idea of how did
Speaker 2: we get to where we are? And how are we
Speaker 2: still evolving? Because we are, we haven't stopped, and same
Speaker 2: with every other species out there. So but while I
Speaker 2: remember taking this biological anthropology class, I just became fascinated
Speaker 2: with how the environment shapes us and then even like
Speaker 2: our motivoic emotion shapes the way we look. I became
Speaker 2: obsessed with the idea that we got butts from walking
Speaker 2: on two legs, and same with getting boobs. You know
Speaker 2: which we'll get to. We'll get to the breasttail ever
Speaker 2: told shortly.
Speaker 1: We're going to get to boobs in a hot, floppy second.
Speaker 1: But first I want to know when it comes to
Speaker 1: biological anthropology and how evolution and our environment kind of
Speaker 1: shapes us. I'm still trying to get my head around
Speaker 1: the butt and walking upright? Do we need those butt
Speaker 1: muscles to be pulling on parts of our legs like
Speaker 1: a puppeteer? How do they even? Are they working like levers?
Speaker 1: How does that work?
Speaker 2: It's a basically yeah, that's a great question. It's basically
Speaker 2: allowing the way it connects, it allows the hips to
Speaker 2: sort of stabilize in place, and so non human primates
Speaker 2: also have gluty maximus medius and minimis muscles, but the
Speaker 2: gluteas maximus specifically attaches at a different place on the pelvis.
Speaker 2: It attaches on the issium. Now on humans it attaches
Speaker 2: on the ilium, which is the top portion of the pelvis,
Speaker 2: and that allows us to have more stability and kind
Speaker 2: of maintain our balance.
Speaker 1: So Natalia explained that chimpanzees are closest genetic relative have glutes,
Speaker 1: but they are much less beefy than ours because they
Speaker 1: stick the little rumps out behind them. But our muscles
Speaker 1: need to be strong enough to help us balance upright
Speaker 1: so that we don't just topple over every time we
Speaker 1: take a step. So Natalia bounced around at college, narrowing
Speaker 1: down her passion and working in TV and live theater
Speaker 1: as she went.
Speaker 2: When I graduated from undergrad, I knew that I loved primates.
Speaker 2: I had fallen in love with the field of anthropology,
Speaker 2: but I didn't quite know how or where I was
Speaker 2: going to go next. I was going to apply to
Speaker 2: grad school and I wanted to stay for my thing
Speaker 2: was primate conservation. I wanted to not only learn about
Speaker 2: the monkey butts, but also conserve You can't you can't
Speaker 2: study the monkey butts if the monkey butts are extinct.
Speaker 2: So I ended up going to grad school to focus
Speaker 2: on conservation of monkey butts.
Speaker 1: Oh and what kind of questions does it answer for
Speaker 1: you as a human.
Speaker 2: Looking at non human primates? I say, a model for
Speaker 2: human behavior can be a slippery slope. It could be
Speaker 2: great because you could actually learn a lot from what
Speaker 2: we do based on what they do. But we have
Speaker 2: to remember is that they've been evolving this whole entire
Speaker 2: time that we have we split off from a common ancestor. So,
Speaker 2: for instance, it's easy to go, oh, well, look at
Speaker 2: chimpanzee behavior, that's so cool, that explains why we do
Speaker 2: what we do, But we come from a common ancestor
Speaker 2: with chimpanzees, and chimps might have behaved totally I mean
Speaker 2: theoretically probably not super different from the way they behave now,
Speaker 2: but they might seven million years ago, they could have
Speaker 2: been behaving differently. So it's hard to kind of look
Speaker 2: at that behavior and be like, oh, that's why we
Speaker 2: do what we do now, because, like I said, the
Speaker 2: environment shapes so much of how we look and also
Speaker 2: how we behave. But so for me, it's a mixture
Speaker 2: of At first, I think when I was younger, it
Speaker 2: was looking at them as models for human behavior. But
Speaker 2: now I just find them intrinsically interesting, just like I
Speaker 2: find frogs fascinating. I know that you ALI love bugs.
Speaker 2: I love bugs too, write I mean it's I learn
Speaker 2: a bunch about them, but I don't necessarily it's not
Speaker 2: because I want to understand how they relate to humans.
Speaker 1: But before grad school, when she was just nineteen, she
Speaker 1: was still finding her footing, if you will, And after
Speaker 1: our interviews, she realized she forgot to tell me this story,
Speaker 1: so I had her send me a voice memo because
Speaker 1: it's really something.
Speaker 2: I then started taking night classes at Santa Monica College
Speaker 2: and fell in love with biological anthropology. I took archaeology,
Speaker 2: I took zoology. It was one of those things where
Speaker 2: I was like, holy crap, this is what I want
Speaker 2: to do, but I didn't really know how to actually
Speaker 2: pursue it. And by the way, if you live in
Speaker 2: Los Angeles, Santa Monica College is excellent. Go there. It's fantastic.
Speaker 2: And then I got hit by a truck as a
Speaker 2: pedestrian on the shoulder of the freeway and everything changed.
Speaker 2: So I was on the one on one freeway and
Speaker 2: traffic slowed. I slammed on my brakes, but they locked
Speaker 2: and I rearended the person in front of me. Now,
Speaker 2: the next exit on this freeway was an entrance to
Speaker 2: another freeway, because normally I would just get off at
Speaker 2: the next exit because I hate the shoulder of the freeway.
Speaker 2: I know how dangerous it is. But the car in
Speaker 2: front of me, who I remended, pulled over onto the shoulder,
Speaker 2: and I pulled over behind them because I didn't want
Speaker 2: them to think it was a hit and run. That's
Speaker 2: when a woman came up on the shoulder going about
Speaker 2: sixty five miles per hour, hit my truck. My truck
Speaker 2: hit me, broke my femur, and then pinned me between
Speaker 2: the truck and the car that I had re rended,
Speaker 2: and that crushed my lower right leg. And then the
Speaker 2: way she hit me, my truck spun out and I
Speaker 2: got tossed onto the off ramp onto my head, which
Speaker 2: explained so much. Anyways, next the ambulance comes, and of
Speaker 2: course they have to cut off all my clothes. That's
Speaker 2: where the lack of underwear becomes a thing. I basically
Speaker 2: put on a show for the EMTs and the entire
Speaker 2: contents of the one on one Freeway. You're welcome. But
Speaker 2: they took me to the er and had to do
Speaker 2: a couple blood transfusions because I lost a lot of
Speaker 2: blood and because I had a crush injury to my
Speaker 2: lower right leg. They couldn't cast my femur, so they
Speaker 2: inserted a rod into it, and they took it out
Speaker 2: about two years later, and I got to keep it.
Speaker 2: So I have this big purple titanium femoral rod on
Speaker 2: my mantle right now. Very dorky, but yeah. So that
Speaker 2: that accident was the catalyst to get my butt back
Speaker 2: to school. Some people need a kick in the butt.
Speaker 2: I just needed to get hit by a ninety four
Speaker 2: Ford Ranger. But I'm not suggesting that you get hit
Speaker 2: by a truck. Please don't let that happen to you.
Speaker 2: It's really not good. In fact, if you're ever in
Speaker 2: an accident, get off the freeway altogether. Don't get on
Speaker 2: the shoulder. Stay off the shoulder. But seriously, that was
Speaker 2: the impetus to go back to school and really throw
Speaker 2: myself into the work that I wanted to do. It
Speaker 2: was challenging because I still had these long term effects
Speaker 2: from the accident. I had foot drop in my right leg.
Speaker 2: The way it healed, I had a massive limp, and
Speaker 2: the only way I could walk normal was wearing heels,
Speaker 2: and I wore a leg brace for a pretty long time.
Speaker 2: I have a bit of a limp still, it's hard
Speaker 2: to tell unless I'm wearing completely flat shoes. If I
Speaker 2: wear heels, it evens it out. But as an anthropologist,
Speaker 2: all this stuff was fascinating to me. I love understanding
Speaker 2: you know how my missing tibialis interior muscle affects all
Speaker 2: my movement because I do notice, like when I did fieldwork,
Speaker 2: I had to use a walking stick because I called
Speaker 2: myself the jack Tripper of primatology, because wow, I fell
Speaker 2: uphill going downhill, I fall on flat surfaces. It is
Speaker 2: a problem, and it's because of my injuries. And my
Speaker 2: injuries taught me about anatomy and the ability to walk
Speaker 2: on two legs or the inability and what that means.
Speaker 2: So and also it shows I think how resilient bodies are,
Speaker 2: Like I don't. I don't know if I should be alive.
Speaker 2: I mean, I got hit by a truck going sixty
Speaker 2: five miles per hour, darn it. But bodies are really
Speaker 2: freaking strong, and so I try to remember that when
Speaker 2: anytime I get down on myself for oh man, I
Speaker 2: wish I could do this or that or run a marathon.
Speaker 2: It's like, Eh, you chased monkeys after getting hit by
Speaker 2: a truck, you're cool. Another strange side effect from the accident,
Speaker 2: one butt cheek is slightly bigger than the other. Yes,
Speaker 2: I think it's because one leg is compensating for the
Speaker 2: other and it's just spread to my butt cheeks, and
Speaker 2: so one's just a better pillow, you know. And these
Speaker 2: are the things that have happened to my body that
Speaker 2: make me a appreciate it, like hey, you've survived, but
Speaker 2: also make me really interested in anatomy and just how
Speaker 2: everything is connected.
Speaker 1: So once she was back on her feet, she went
Speaker 1: through undergrad and of course she became a primatologist, going
Speaker 1: full steam ahead into the Panamanian forest.
Speaker 2: Oh goodness, So I did field work. I said, I
Speaker 2: wanted to study gorillas, but then I had to pivot
Speaker 2: and just kind of do the next best thing. And
Speaker 2: luckily my advisor at cal State Northridge, doctor Christina Campbell.
Speaker 2: She studied spider monkeys on BCI at an island in
Speaker 2: the Panama Canal, and she had just gotten in contact
Speaker 2: with an organization on the Azuero Peninsula in Panama and
Speaker 2: they needed somebody to literally do a survey of spider monkeys.
Speaker 2: So I moved to Panama to basically count monkeys and
Speaker 2: trees and get as much data as I could about
Speaker 2: you know, their age, their sex, and any distinguishing characteristics.
Speaker 2: And so it was a magical time. We basically would
Speaker 2: go out every day anywhere between eight to twelve to
Speaker 2: fifteen hours a day, oftentimes on horseback to get to
Speaker 2: the actual forest fragments because basically it was a heavily
Speaker 2: disforested area of Panama that also was right in the
Speaker 2: best surfing spot of Panama. So that's what we did
Speaker 2: on our days off, right. Yeah, it was it was magical.
Speaker 2: And yeah, and spider monkeys a little I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't know if you know this, but spider monkeys, the
Speaker 2: female have hypertrophied glitteris so they're oh I does, yeah,
Speaker 2: but spider monkeys have a very large glitter, a very
Speaker 2: long clitterists that I remember the first time I ever
Speaker 2: saw spider monkey, I thought, oh, look at that male
Speaker 2: and then I was quickly schooled, no, that is a female.
Speaker 2: And it really helped us because males and females there's
Speaker 2: not a lot of sexual dimorphism in terms of size,
Speaker 2: meaning the males and females are very similar in size.
Speaker 2: In spider monkeys.
Speaker 1: Side notes, spider monkeys live up to eight stories high
Speaker 1: in the rainforest canopies, and at first I was getting
Speaker 1: them confused with those tiny little pigmy marmosets, which are
Speaker 1: like the size of tarantula. But no, spider monkeys. They're
Speaker 1: not the eighty bitty thumb huggers. Rather, they're about a
Speaker 1: meter tall, weighing in at about twenty five pounds. They're
Speaker 1: just named spider monkeys because of their long limbs and
Speaker 1: other long.
Speaker 2: Stuff, And so it helped me. If I saw a
Speaker 2: spider monkey in the distance, I could see the dangler
Speaker 2: just sort of protruding from her undercarriage and be like that,
Speaker 2: there is a female. And luckily, though data they're all maps,
Speaker 2: and they've been able to use basically these maps to
Speaker 2: help reforest that area and it's gotten better, and I
Speaker 2: heard that monkeys are actually there's more coming back in
Speaker 2: different parts of the region. So I'm planning on going
Speaker 2: back when things are better to see if there's any
Speaker 2: more work that can be done.
Speaker 1: So why do some humans walk through a jungle looking
Speaker 1: up at other primates just mechanically speaking and walking upright
Speaker 1: versus not working upright? What led to us standing up
Speaker 1: and having back pain?
Speaker 2: You know, having really crappy knees.
Speaker 1: Yeah, painful childbirth, right, yeah, painful Childbirth's that's that big
Speaker 1: old brain of ours.
Speaker 2: But walking upright there. So there are a few different
Speaker 2: theories that could work in tandem or separately, or that's
Speaker 2: the thing about coming up with evolutionary theories is we
Speaker 2: don't necessarily know for sure. But with when it comes
Speaker 2: to being bipedal, there's this idea that as you know,
Speaker 2: the climate was changing in different parts of Africa, it
Speaker 2: would behoove those ancestors of ours to stand upright so
Speaker 2: they could see any predator, say in the area, or
Speaker 2: they could you know, hold things, for instance, like their offspring.
Speaker 2: So there's a benefit to standing upright for predator avoidance,
Speaker 2: for being able to you know, hold and carry things,
Speaker 2: especially if they're gathering food items. Also, thermo dynamics and
Speaker 2: thermoregulation basically the idea that if you're on all fours on,
Speaker 2: you're living in an area where you don't have any shade,
Speaker 2: you're getting all that sun on your back, and standing
Speaker 2: upright limits the amount of sun exposure that you're getting,
Speaker 2: so it would not be beating down just you know,
Speaker 2: beating down on your head, not your whole back. And
Speaker 2: at this point we're assuming that also we still have
Speaker 2: fur covering our bodies. It's not exactly known exactly when
Speaker 2: all that went away because soft tissue, unfortunately does not preserve.
Speaker 1: I mean, some of us lost all of our some
Speaker 1: of us are Italian.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what to say. I was like some
Speaker 2: some people did not lose very much at all. I'm Scottish,
Speaker 2: so I don't know about you, Ali, and I don't
Speaker 2: know if it's a Scottish thing necessarily, but I am hairy.
Speaker 2: I have done multiple rounds of laser hair removal all
Speaker 2: over my body pretty much.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, really, oh yeah, some people are hairier than others.
Speaker 1: And also just dad word here to say, no matter
Speaker 1: what your gender, or how you look or what you're into.
Speaker 2: It's a okay.
Speaker 1: It's more than a okay. It's the result of millions
Speaker 1: of years of sexual selection and survival and it's just beautiful.
Speaker 1: But what about what about the sexual nature of butts?
Speaker 1: Why do you think we look at them so much?
Speaker 2: That's a great question. For instance, dudes or even ladies
Speaker 2: find the keyster nice and attractive. Is the hip to
Speaker 2: waste ratio. It was long thought that the hip to
Speaker 2: waste ratio was associated with fertility, and they found that
Speaker 2: actually it's not. Those that have a lower hip to
Speaker 2: waste ratio are not necessarily healthier or have higher fertility.
Speaker 2: So that's kind of a myth, but it's still something
Speaker 2: that some will find more attractive. But again, I think
Speaker 2: what really needs to be stressed is there are cultural
Speaker 2: differences over across the world. Certain things are considered more
Speaker 2: attractive in certain places, some things are considered taboo.
Speaker 1: Some psychologists hypothesize that our own butts are a part
Speaker 1: of our body that we can't see or judge. So
Speaker 1: maybe there's something forbidden with looking at other steriers when
Speaker 1: they themselves hardly know. But alas, hello mirrors. Okay, so
Speaker 1: what are some other theories?
Speaker 2: Honestly, many have surmised that the roundness is very attractive,
Speaker 2: including some people say that the breasts mimic the actual butt,
Speaker 2: and it's yeah. I mean, it's to be determined exactly
Speaker 2: what came first in terms of the amount of fat
Speaker 2: surrounding the memory gland, which is why we have boobs
Speaker 2: versus non human primates. They lactate, they have memory glands,
Speaker 2: but they don't have the fat surrounding them like we do.
Speaker 2: But boobs and butts are similar in the fact that
Speaker 2: they're kind of in this rounded fashion. I don't know
Speaker 2: exactly when that happened, when it became like, ooh, that's
Speaker 2: I like that supple posterior you got going on there,
Speaker 2: But I think it's something to do with the roundness
Speaker 2: and then also knowing what that entails, because if you
Speaker 2: think about it, as we were evolving from being on
Speaker 2: all fours to two legs, the sexual swellings were no
Speaker 2: longer visible, and so they were now being hidden by
Speaker 2: well just the butt and you know, just the legs.
Speaker 2: Everything is kind of just like compact in there, which
Speaker 2: we'll get to when we talk about why we are
Speaker 2: the only animals that technically wipe too.
Speaker 1: So many questions about oh, I know, right, and.
Speaker 2: I've talked about this before. There's certain groups that not idolized,
Speaker 2: but fetishize or prefer booties to boobs or different body
Speaker 2: parts and things like that. But I think there's something
Speaker 2: to be said for just kind of knowing what that
Speaker 2: entails and what it's hiding and that sort of thing.
Speaker 1: When it comes to the actual shape or the size
Speaker 1: of a booty. Why do some people have shapely butts
Speaker 1: others feel like they have pancake butts? Is it all
Speaker 1: just muscle development?
Speaker 2: Well, it's a yeah, great question. It's muscle and fat,
Speaker 2: and the fat oftentimes is influenced by the amount of
Speaker 2: hormones that you have in your body.
Speaker 1: And in all this talk of genders, of course, in nature,
Speaker 1: things are on a spectrum. There's so much variety. And
Speaker 1: so I see you out there, non binary friends, trans
Speaker 1: buddies and anyone who's on hormones medically, which are a
Speaker 1: lot of us, just saying giving you a thumbs up.
Speaker 2: Now, males and females distribute fat differently, sometimes depending on
Speaker 2: what the amount of hormones that are going on in
Speaker 2: their body. Now, there aren't necessarily male and female hormones.
Speaker 2: People say, oh, testosterone, that's a male hormone. No, females
Speaker 2: have testosterone males have estrogen, females have more estrogen on average,
Speaker 2: and therefore that is basically the determinate and where the
Speaker 2: fat is localized on the body, so hips, thighs, butt
Speaker 2: and with males and testosterone, it's usually associated with belly fat,
Speaker 2: which can be unfortunately associated with cardiovascular health because that
Speaker 2: can be really hard on the organs to have so
Speaker 2: much fat in that region. But fat in the buttocks
Speaker 2: and the thighs, the hips is usually where those with
Speaker 2: higher amounts of estrogen will carry that extra fat. And
Speaker 2: that's a good place also because it's you know, as
Speaker 2: far as balance and not tipping over or anything like that.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make it too top heavy. It's a good
Speaker 2: center to have all that fat. And it's a good
Speaker 2: place to store it because in times of for instance,
Speaker 2: if you know, when we were evolving, if perhaps you
Speaker 2: didn't have a lot of there was no Del Taco
Speaker 2: or McDonald's on the you know, the Savannah corner, it's
Speaker 2: good to have fat reserves just in case, in case
Speaker 2: you hit famine or any sort of times of low
Speaker 2: resource availability essentially, and that's a great place to store
Speaker 2: the fat reserves. We still see it, you know today,
Speaker 2: distribute fat differently. And that's why, you know, if I
Speaker 2: have friends that have transitioned and they see fat distribution
Speaker 2: change because they are getting different hormones, and so that's
Speaker 2: you know, kind of a clear way we can see. Oh, okay,
Speaker 2: hormones do really determine how fat distributes on your body.
Speaker 2: So it's a mixture of Obviously, if you do a
Speaker 2: lot of squats and do running and donkey kicks and
Speaker 2: all those things, you can build up your glutes, your gluteaus,
Speaker 2: maximus medias and minimist muscles. But sometimes it's just your
Speaker 2: hormones and you can't necessarily change that unless you, you know,
Speaker 2: try to alter it synthetically.
Speaker 1: When it comes to different parts of the globe, as
Speaker 1: people move farther away from the equator, was fat distributed
Speaker 1: differently in their bodies to keep warm? How does that work?
Speaker 2: Fantastic question, because there's Allen's and Bergmann's rules, which are
Speaker 2: these two different rules that associate limb proportion and trunk
Speaker 2: proportion with actual latitude or temperature. Two different rules that
Speaker 2: are associated with limb proportion and also trunk size in
Speaker 2: people or animals in different latitudes and temperature environments. So
Speaker 2: Allen's rule has to do with limb proportions. So for instance,
Speaker 2: if you're living closer to the equator where it's really hot,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have longer, leaner limbs. If you're living further
Speaker 2: away from the equator in higher latitudes or really low latitudes,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have shorter limbs to kind of keep in
Speaker 2: that warmth. And same with Bergmann's rules, which is about
Speaker 2: trunk size and kind of you know, kind of stockiness.
Speaker 2: If you're higher up in the latitude or low low,
Speaker 2: you're going to have kind of a stockier build, and
Speaker 2: closer to the equator, you're going to be more lean.
Speaker 2: So these are ways that we can sort of adapt
Speaker 2: to the environment. But we should note that biological evolution
Speaker 2: happens a lot slower than cultural evolution. So we're seeing
Speaker 2: a lot of different body types from all over the
Speaker 2: world that you know, weren't there until recently. It's hard
Speaker 2: to kind of determine like, oh, they look this way
Speaker 2: because they've been here for thousands upon thousands of years,
Speaker 2: because people are moving around the globe so freely now,
Speaker 2: So that's something to consider as well.
Speaker 1: And when it comes to butts and modern butts. Now
Speaker 1: that we are moving freely about the globe, we can
Speaker 1: inject things into and on top of our butts. Are
Speaker 1: we seeing a lot of butt implants? Do you think
Speaker 1: lately or do people just take fat from one air
Speaker 1: of their body and put it over their butt muscle.
Speaker 1: I remember Kim Kardashian like saying she did not have
Speaker 1: butt implants, and she'd prove it by getting an X ray.
Speaker 1: She's like, see, it's all me. But then I heard
Speaker 1: that there were cosmetic procedures where you just take parts
Speaker 1: of your fat and you can put it in your
Speaker 1: boobs or reallocated your butt. And I didn't even know
Speaker 1: that was possible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually didn't. I always wanted to do that
Speaker 2: as a child, and that's kind of say it speaks
Speaker 2: to how screwed up our culture is. But I remember
Speaker 2: being like, I, you know, had little little chubby belly
Speaker 2: as a kid, and I was like, I just want
Speaker 2: to put it where my boobs should be. But yeah,
Speaker 2: you can do that. I know women who've done that
Speaker 2: for like breast reconstruction, reconstructive surgery. There's also been butt lifts,
Speaker 2: So there have been butt implants and butt lifts, and
Speaker 2: then of course. Well, I don't know if you've heard
Speaker 2: of this. There was a woman that got something injected
Speaker 2: into her butt. I know this sounds dirtier than it
Speaker 2: really should be, but it was like a mixture of
Speaker 2: it was supposed to be like a saline solution, but
Speaker 2: it was like basically, this kind of grifter put together
Speaker 2: this weird solution and just injected into this woman's butt,
Speaker 2: and she got really sick and like sepsis, like because
Speaker 2: it got infected and all sorts of things. So people
Speaker 2: will go to great lengths to have a sweet apple bottom.
Speaker 2: You know. I hate that there is such a sort
Speaker 2: of I don't know, pressure on everybody to succumb or
Speaker 2: look a certain way, and especially because, let's face it,
Speaker 2: there's been so many fluctuations of what body type is in,
Speaker 2: which is dumb to begin with, but you know, come on, now,
Speaker 2: you shouldn't have to inject your butt with I can't
Speaker 2: even remember it. It was a weird solution of stuff
Speaker 2: that I was like, wait a minute.
Speaker 1: Okay, I look this up. And people have injected all
Speaker 1: kinds of stuff, including cement, super glue, mineral oil, even
Speaker 1: fix a flat tire mender, and in one Florida instance,
Speaker 1: all of those things in one injection. And then, of
Speaker 1: course there is the Brazilian butt lift, which I just
Speaker 1: found out in researching this episode. It's a fat transfer
Speaker 1: from one area of your body, like perhaps you sacrifice
Speaker 1: your cute muffin top region and put it into the posterior.
Speaker 1: And one plastic surgeon I read about online calls it
Speaker 1: transferring your money from one pocket to the other. But
Speaker 1: it's also one of the riskiest plastic surgeries, meaning yes,
Speaker 1: you'll shell out upwards of ten grand, but it may
Speaker 1: also cost you your life.
Speaker 2: No, I'm a big believer, honestly again, and I'm glad
Speaker 2: you said that. I'm a big believer. If it would
Speaker 2: make you happy, then do it. I don't care if women,
Speaker 2: I mean, or anybody get any sort of thing done
Speaker 2: to themselves that brings them joy. I just hate that
Speaker 2: it's something that seems to be cyclical sometimes, and in
Speaker 2: which case I things like this should not be fads.
Speaker 2: I would hope, not only because I feel like that,
Speaker 2: you know what if butts go back out and all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, you've got wait a minute, butts are
Speaker 2: never going to go out. Let's just be real they're.
Speaker 1: Never gonna go out, but you just have to love
Speaker 1: the butt you've got.
Speaker 2: Yes, love your butt. I made a video called love
Speaker 2: your Butt. It's time, It's time, it's time, it's time.
Speaker 2: It's time to love your butt.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that video was about colonoscopies. But if you
Speaker 1: need some freedom from beauty culture standards, may I suggest
Speaker 1: the two parter on colology with doctor Renee Ngelm. I'll
Speaker 1: link it on my website. Because your butt is working
Speaker 1: itself off to keep you balanced and comfy, and you
Speaker 1: owe it all the love in the world. It's the
Speaker 1: butt that's closest to you at all times, and you
Speaker 1: can touch it whenever you want, so you might as
Speaker 1: well just love.
Speaker 2: If alf buff the clairvoyant rumpologists can't touch your butt,
Speaker 2: you can and predict your future, which is you're just
Speaker 2: gonna keep loving it.
Speaker 1: And you know, you know you mentioned speaking of touching
Speaker 1: our own butts, we're forced to buy necessity. Human beings
Speaker 1: wipe in their bottoms. Do other animals do this? What
Speaker 1: we have our ouses so well ensconced in our butt cheeks?
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean walking on two legs is what really
Speaker 2: makes it tough, and you kind of have to wipe
Speaker 2: because otherwise it can imagine poop in and then just
Speaker 2: standing right up, things slam shut again, and it's just
Speaker 2: it gets real foul, real foul, real quick. And so yeah,
Speaker 2: the way our motive locomotion really does kind of sort
Speaker 2: of influence whether or not we should be wiping or not.
Speaker 2: And so, for instance, a lot of non human primates
Speaker 2: they don't, you know, I mean, let's be real, I've
Speaker 2: been shitt on by excuse me, I've been crapped on
Speaker 2: by more monkeys than I'm really happy to admit. And
Speaker 2: all they have to do is just let it rip
Speaker 2: right over my head and they don't have to wipe.
Speaker 2: In fact, I've watched them just kind of go about
Speaker 2: their business right after pooping on me.
Speaker 3: Really not.
Speaker 1: They don't even grab a leaf or anything.
Speaker 2: Nothing, nothing, nothing, I've seen nothing like that, like where
Speaker 2: they either rub it on a branch. I wonder actually, honestly,
Speaker 2: if there was parasites or things like that, if maybe
Speaker 2: they had parasites, if they would maybe scratch their booty
Speaker 2: on a branch because something itched or something that might
Speaker 2: be a possibility. But a lot of other animals, you
Speaker 2: know that quadrupedal animals don't necessarily have to do that,
Speaker 2: and we all know the cats and dogs of the world,
Speaker 2: you know, just go to town on that and play
Speaker 2: the quote unquote shallow. You know, the butthole is the
Speaker 2: information super highway of the animal kingdom. Let's be real,
Speaker 2: That's where we get all our information. So you don't
Speaker 2: want it too clean, because how else are you going
Speaker 2: to know where mister Mitten's has been all day?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, you know I was just audience too, and bore
Speaker 1: witness to my own dog having a deep conversation with
Speaker 1: her butthole today. Just a fun, disgusting side. If your
Speaker 1: dog is a real butt locker, you might be able
Speaker 1: to relieve that by learning to express its anal glance
Speaker 1: which might be itchy for them, or taking it to
Speaker 1: a vet or a groomer or a professional who can
Speaker 1: do this stinky deed for you. Trust me, it's the
Speaker 1: worst smell I've ever smelled. But other animals I feel
Speaker 1: like they just they're good, they're done, they walk away
Speaker 1: from it. But part of it is is because they
Speaker 1: don't quite have the meat on the butts that we do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. I live next to a bus depot, and
Speaker 2: I have these four bustypot cats that just hang out
Speaker 2: on my porch and I see their buttholes every day,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. If I want to show
Speaker 2: you my butthole, I'm not going to show you my butthole. Ali,
Speaker 2: don't worry. I have to spread them, if you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. And that is the reason why I
Speaker 2: have to wipe and my bustypot cats and Grammy do not.
Speaker 1: What about bidets, I haven't lived anywhere other than the
Speaker 1: United States, but so I don't know where bidets are necessarily,
Speaker 1: but any thoughts on why humans don't use them more?
Speaker 1: Why American humans don't use them more?
Speaker 2: Because we are lazy? Yuh No. I think the days
Speaker 2: actually were getting more popular during the beginning of quarantine
Speaker 2: because I remember that toilet paper crash.
Speaker 3: For we all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I know a lot of people who got
Speaker 2: like the tush that I don't know what it's called,
Speaker 2: like that, I have one.
Speaker 1: Yeah Oh you do, okay, I do?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, they're I mean they're great, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's warm, it gets your right bullseye, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Whoa, hey, buy me dinner first? No, so I'm gonna
Speaker 2: tell a personal story if you don't mind. Okay, So
Speaker 2: a few now, it wasn't even a few. It was
Speaker 2: ten years ago. I was I was young, I just
Speaker 2: graduated from grad school and something didn't feel right down there, allie.
Speaker 2: So I went to a proctologist, and I kid you not.
Speaker 2: My intake nurse was the most attractive male nurse I've
Speaker 2: ever met. And I had to tell him about my
Speaker 2: bowel movements, my butt hole and all the stuff. And
Speaker 2: I was like, this is awful. But I told him
Speaker 2: all the things, and I went in and I went
Speaker 2: to go see the female proctologist who was probably my age.
Speaker 2: Actually she was, you know, she was young, she was
Speaker 2: She was really cool and nice. And you know, when
Speaker 2: you go to a proctologists, you lay on the table
Speaker 2: and you lay on your side and she kind of
Speaker 2: spreads them and she looks and she goes, oh, your
Speaker 2: butt's too clean. What yeah? And I said, excuse me,
Speaker 2: She goes, your butt's too clean. She goes, you use
Speaker 2: those baby wipes, don't you? And I said yeah, and
Speaker 2: she goes, yeah. It's a huge problem these days because
Speaker 2: people are using the baby wipes so much that they're
Speaker 2: drying out. Oh their booty hole. Oh my god, so
Speaker 2: there is, so, she suggested, and I and listeners at home,
Speaker 2: you want to try this, I've actually I've taught this
Speaker 2: method to a few friends of mine because it makes
Speaker 2: me happy. You can use like a very calm, fragrance
Speaker 2: free chemical light moisturizer as a way to create your
Speaker 2: own baby wipe with toilet paper if you don't have
Speaker 2: access to a bid dat life hack.
Speaker 1: Good to know. Also, those wipes terrible for the sewer systems.
Speaker 1: I mean fat bergs. Have you heard of the fat
Speaker 1: bergs that are happening?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: What? Ugh? There are clogs of wipes and congealed fat
Speaker 1: that has gotten hard in the cold depths of the sewers.
Speaker 1: There was one size of a school bus. What in
Speaker 1: the sewers of London. They call them fat bergs, and
Speaker 1: wipes are mostly to blame. So you heard it here first? No, yes,
Speaker 1: it's true. I forgot what episode I mentioned it in.
Speaker 1: But I went down some real holes, if you will,
Speaker 1: looking at pictures of fat bergs, and they are just
Speaker 1: what you'd expect. They're revolting.
Speaker 2: So the fat is from I would assume, like bake
Speaker 2: in fat grease things abouts.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know, I know, but that's so
Speaker 1: good to know. Everyone has an alternative now and we
Speaker 1: all appreciate that. Who doesn't appreciate that? This is amazing?
Speaker 1: I have so many questions from listeners. Can I lightning
Speaker 1: around you? Oh?
Speaker 2: Kah, of course?
Speaker 1: Are you excited?
Speaker 2: Yes? Oh?
Speaker 1: By the way, can I just say trivia? I do
Speaker 1: have a buttload of questions. But I found out recently
Speaker 1: that a buttload is an actual measurement. Did you know that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think like one hundred and twenty gallons of wine.
Speaker 1: It's a buttload of wine.
Speaker 2: So good? I love. Yeah. No, that makes me happy
Speaker 2: when things like that actually have real scientific merit. I'm like, oh, okay, yes, Like.
Speaker 1: A bunghole is a hole in a barrel. I got
Speaker 1: to sniff a bung hole and it smelled delicious.
Speaker 2: Ali, will you stop talking to me about your bunghole?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay. Questions from patrons, yes, which also remind
Speaker 1: me of where you'd like me to donate for this episode.
Speaker 1: What are your charity of your choosing? Okay? A few
Speaker 1: people several people had questions about the largest butts and
Speaker 1: Emily A. Phrased it, what animal has the biggest badonk?
Speaker 1: Sammy Baker said, very very important question, which animal has
Speaker 1: the thickest donk? But before we get to your questions,
Speaker 1: a word about sponsors of the show, who you may
Speaker 1: hear about soon. They enable us to make a donation
Speaker 1: each week, and Natalia Chowsproject chimps dot org, which gives
Speaker 1: former research chimpanzees a new lease on life at a
Speaker 1: sanctuary in the mountains of Georgia, and Natalia says that
Speaker 1: she actually did a segment there with Star Talk and
Speaker 1: became buds with Gertrude, who she now sponsors. Natalia says
Speaker 1: that Gertrude quote did fling her poop at me and
Speaker 1: now we are forever shit sisters or shitzters quote, So
Speaker 1: we were able to fling some money their way thanks
Speaker 1: to the following sponsors. Okay, let's get back to that question,
Speaker 1: which was also asked by Chris Moore and Jesse Lorch. So, Yes,
Speaker 1: the strongest and biggest badonks And why would it be
Speaker 1: an elephant or would you say that there's another animal
Speaker 1: that has bigger hounches?
Speaker 2: Well, my question is biggest bedonc to body size? Because
Speaker 2: I would sayigt bedonk to body size. When it comes
Speaker 2: to glute size and all that kind of stuff, I
Speaker 2: would say, humans are up there. Yes, there was a
Speaker 2: woman that I actually because I did a little bit
Speaker 2: of research that had a ninety nine inch hip circumference. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and that's a very very large bedonca who is very
Speaker 2: proud of it, and which I say, yes, yeah, be
Speaker 2: very proud of that you made that. Yeah, because we
Speaker 2: have this fat specifically around the butt, and women specifically,
Speaker 2: that's where you get the real thickness, you know. Well.
Speaker 1: Talia Dunyak wants to know do fish have a butt?
Speaker 2: That's a great question. Fish, as far as I know,
Speaker 2: do not have a butt?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's sad just yeah, I'm just they're buttless.
Speaker 1: Thimbawim wants to know which booty is best, wombat or Corgi.
Speaker 1: Dor B says corkiy butts versus French cheese. Is there
Speaker 1: a particular dog butt that you think is best or
Speaker 1: an animal butt that you find is best.
Speaker 2: Look. I've seen a lot of Boston terriers poop, and
Speaker 2: I've never seen the look of almost shame in their
Speaker 2: eyes with the quivering legs as they poop. For some reason,
Speaker 2: A Boston Terrier really sticks out to me as having
Speaker 2: a very strong, lean butt with a very controlled pooping mechanism.
Speaker 2: I don't know, they really stand out to me for
Speaker 2: some reason. Corgi's their fur butt, the fact that they're
Speaker 2: wearing fur pants. I find it being really respectful. What
Speaker 2: butts do I really get behind? When I did field work,
Speaker 2: we rode horses, and I always had the farting horse.
Speaker 2: I had Sababa, and yeah, she would fart a ton,
Speaker 2: and I always found that to be hilarious.
Speaker 1: Mandy Smith, Daniel Donalden, Erica Gonzalez, Lulu Hall, Ashley Brown,
Speaker 1: Becky the Sassy Seagrass, scientist R. J. Deutsche, and Renee Parsonage.
Speaker 1: Who's the first time question asker everyone wanted to know?
Speaker 1: In Renee's words, why don't humans sniff each other's butts
Speaker 1: like dogs? Why don't we sniff it?
Speaker 2: That's a very good question, funny enough, I just actually
Speaker 2: lectured about this today. Are decreased old faction senses. I
Speaker 2: think that probably has something to do with it. Our
Speaker 2: sense of smell is not what it, you know, has
Speaker 2: been in the past. Just trying to think of spider monkeys.
Speaker 2: If I've seen a lot of smelling of butts, I
Speaker 2: have seen it another non human primates. I watched two languors,
Speaker 2: which are columbines, these type of monkeys that you'll see.
Speaker 2: These were from India specifically, but they were they were
Speaker 2: really playing with each other's tookises, lots of smelling, lots
Speaker 2: of finger and tasting, yeah, which I thought was kind
Speaker 2: of like, Okay, this is very intimate. And also let's
Speaker 2: be very clear again back to the butt cheeks and
Speaker 2: back to the crack. Our butthole is not really out
Speaker 2: and proud. You know. Again, if I want to I
Speaker 2: want to sniff someone's butt cheek, I gotta get in there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it is not exposed like say a cat or a dog.
Speaker 2: That's not to say if it was exposed, I would
Speaker 2: be up in it. I think it's a mixture of
Speaker 2: the decreased ol faction and also perhaps the lack of accessibility.
Speaker 1: That makes some sense. I recognize yourn.
Speaker 2: I'm not one hundred percent sure, and mean, we might
Speaker 2: not ever know the answer Ali, and there probably are.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to king shame, but there's
Speaker 2: probably some people out there that that is their.
Speaker 1: Thing, that one hundred percent yes, and nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: that if it makes sense to you now. This one
Speaker 1: was also asked by patrons Blind Novak, first time question
Speaker 1: asker Claudia Dana sam F Kidizerandi, Stephanie t and Renee Malara,
Speaker 1: Daisy Goldstein Cross and a few others wanted to know
Speaker 1: why the hair up in there?
Speaker 2: Great question. Uh So, one of the thoughts of why
Speaker 2: we have hair between our butt cheeks is maybe to
Speaker 2: decrease the friction when we walk. Perhaps that makes it
Speaker 2: not as uncomfortable. We also have, you know, hair in
Speaker 2: kind of our our nooks and crannies, our armpits or pubis,
Speaker 2: So this might just be sort of a leftover, that's
Speaker 2: like why not. It's just and we all know that
Speaker 2: there's different very there's different varying degrees of how much hair.
Speaker 2: I've seen some butts that I'm pretty sure I thought
Speaker 2: it was they had a sweater on their backside, And
Speaker 2: that's okay, point being yes, there are perhaps reasons to
Speaker 2: kind of again make it so it's not so you know,
Speaker 2: frictiony and sweaty and hair often you know, like that's
Speaker 2: why you have hair in your nose to kind of
Speaker 2: keep certain you know, bacteria and things out of there,
Speaker 2: not that there's a bunch of bacteria trying directly to
Speaker 2: get into your tookis. But you never can be Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have a very specific question that is only applicable
Speaker 1: to one person, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Yes,
Speaker 1: beckup Rader wants to know. I may have spent too
Speaker 1: much time studying this, but why does one of my
Speaker 1: butt cheeks make a louder sound when it's slapped? The
Speaker 1: right one echoes for miles and the left one is
Speaker 1: just a dull thud? Is that normal for people to
Speaker 1: have a dominant butt cheek? And so if Juniper said,
Speaker 1: please do not overlook the genius of this question anyway
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: It is so good. I wonder she doesn't mentioned if
Speaker 2: one's bigger than the other, does she? Okay, So, as
Speaker 2: the scientist in me is asking, okay, who's slapping? Are
Speaker 2: they slapping at the same spot? Are they slapping, you know,
Speaker 2: with the same amount of force, we need to do
Speaker 2: a real experiment with controls and everything and make sure
Speaker 2: that this is done right. And I think maybe we
Speaker 2: can reach out to her to see if we can
Speaker 2: possibly do that. If she's comfortable with that. Yeah, because
Speaker 2: I don't know off the top of my head why.
Speaker 1: We'll get our team on it and we'll touch base,
Speaker 1: we'll slap base. Oh okay, Kyle Pollock says, first time
Speaker 1: question asker, and I can't believe this is the first
Speaker 1: question I'm asking. I once saw a person who had
Speaker 1: a whole slash indentation at the top of their butt crack.
Speaker 1: What was up with that? And Ellie Radaje says, I
Speaker 1: have a butt in dent too, right at the top
Speaker 1: of the crack. Answers please First time commenter Emma, I
Speaker 1: might have.
Speaker 2: A butt like I'm touching mine right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like my crack stops and then like
Speaker 1: starts again. And for a while I was like, did
Speaker 1: I have a tail that they removed?
Speaker 2: Ali? Do you have a so I have a pronounced
Speaker 2: I was. I didn't bring it up because I didn't
Speaker 2: know if that's but my tailbone's too long, so I
Speaker 2: actually have I have I have a nubbin. I mean
Speaker 2: I know that songs. Oh that's great. I mean it's great,
Speaker 2: but it also it means sitting can be really painful,
Speaker 2: and also falling on my tailbone is really painful. But
Speaker 2: does yours feel like it projects or like, you know,
Speaker 2: it kind of projects out?
Speaker 1: It just just like my butt crack says we're done. Well, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I guess that's the thing.
Speaker 2: I will say again, Jackie Stallone. She seems to have
Speaker 2: some strong opinions about the cleft of one's butt.
Speaker 1: You know me, Okay. Usually i'd wait for an aside
Speaker 1: to delve into further research, but Natalian and I were
Speaker 1: having a vulnerable moment and I needed to know if
Speaker 1: my butt was weird asap. Oh, it's called a sacral dimple.
Speaker 1: It's an indentation or a pit in the skin of
Speaker 1: the lower back above the crease between the buttocks. It's
Speaker 1: president birth. Yeah, it's a sacral dimple. It's I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say it's a sacred dimple. Thank you very much. Anyone
Speaker 1: wants to know what my bare butt looks like, it's
Speaker 1: a dimple.
Speaker 2: I have butt dimples.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't have any dimples on my actual butt,
Speaker 1: but I do have like back dimples.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's what I meant, the ones that
Speaker 2: are on the right above it.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it's called dimples of venus apparently, Yes, right,
Speaker 1: exactly so I don't know, maybe it's just you got
Speaker 1: back dimples, not that to worry about. Okay, So a
Speaker 1: sacral dimple is when you have a staccato butt crack
Speaker 1: that is like, hello, I'm not done, little more of me.
Speaker 1: And dimples of venus are the ones on the lower
Speaker 1: back that look kind of like violin f holes. And
Speaker 1: I just learned that some people get dimples of venus
Speaker 1: sogically at it, which is flattering to me the same
Speaker 1: way that other people's perms are, because I had this
Speaker 1: shit from birth. Also, in researching the sacral dimples, though,
Speaker 1: I downloaded this medical study about what they can signify
Speaker 1: in terms of spinal development and newborns. And this week
Speaker 1: was really busy. I'm also getting a refie on my mortgage.
Speaker 1: If you must know, interest rates are very low. Look
Speaker 1: into it, folks, and he who's I had to send
Speaker 1: a bunch of financial statements to the bank, and I
Speaker 1: was about to hit send, honestly, like a millisecond before,
Speaker 1: and I realized that one PDF I attached an email
Speaker 1: was not, in fact my tax returns from last year,
Speaker 1: but it was the PDF about baby's butt cracks, complete
Speaker 1: with a lot of full color clinical photos and tiny
Speaker 1: spread cheeks, and I have thought about it so often
Speaker 1: since last week and I shudder every time, and at
Speaker 1: we can't. Let's move on, okay, So Mary Salato asks,
Speaker 1: So I have a booty, but I feel like it
Speaker 1: doesn't provide much cushion. It makes pants finding a pain.
Speaker 1: But I can still feel my pelvis question mark finding
Speaker 1: into the pavement when I pop a squat on the curb.
Speaker 1: What's even the point? So a lot of people wanted
Speaker 1: to know, like Kate Salvesin wants to know why do
Speaker 1: they hurt after sitting on them forever? Why do our
Speaker 1: butts hurt? Other patrons had this question, including Zombat, Asia Jeger,
Speaker 1: Hate Salvesen, Rachel Amoson, Rachel Moore. Rachel, both of you
Speaker 1: have the word ache write in your name, let's talk
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: So as far as the why does it hurt when
Speaker 2: you put your butt on the pavement? I wonder if
Speaker 2: they have a similar problem like I do in terms
Speaker 2: of the tailbone that for some reason, my cosics doesn't
Speaker 2: quite curve under.
Speaker 1: The way it should.
Speaker 2: It's like it sort of sticks out, so's it really
Speaker 2: serves no purpose? Like I have this booty, but then
Speaker 2: if I sit on someone's lap, they're immediately annoyed because
Speaker 2: they feel like they're being you know, stab, Yeah exactly,
Speaker 2: I trust me. I'm like, I've had enough people be like, ah,
Speaker 2: get off me. Yeah, you know, which does the response
Speaker 2: you usually want to get. But as far as why
Speaker 2: your butt will hurt over time, so there are reasons why.
Speaker 2: I mean, sciatica is one of the big reasons why
Speaker 2: you have pain in pain in your butt.
Speaker 1: Literally, Michelle Chick wants to know for some question, asker,
Speaker 1: if fat provides insulation, why does my well insulated in quotes,
Speaker 1: but get so much colder, so much sooner than the
Speaker 1: rest of my body when I go out for a
Speaker 1: walk on a chilly night. Any idea why butts can
Speaker 1: get so cold? Have you ever been like, yes, my
Speaker 1: butt cold and then it's freezing.
Speaker 2: I think it's because, I mean, the core temp like
Speaker 2: your core, all the heat cut of stays in the core,
Speaker 2: like in your main cavity of organs, and your butt
Speaker 2: is kind of just let leftout to dry or get
Speaker 2: very cold. That's a great question.
Speaker 1: We are not butt doctors.
Speaker 2: And yeah, there's typically a significant layer of fat over
Speaker 2: the glutes. Fat is an active tissue that does not
Speaker 2: generate heat. Okay, so maybe the fat. Yeah, so fat
Speaker 2: also has very few blood vessels in it, so while
Speaker 2: you're running, circulation to your muscles increases, but not to
Speaker 2: your fat, that tissue would actually cool down when exposed
Speaker 2: to the cold.
Speaker 1: Rude.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Okay, so that's okay, there we go. See all,
Speaker 2: I have a.
Speaker 1: Few more lightning ground questions. A few people had questions
Speaker 1: in the Realm of Hannah Roch plainly sized butt sex.
Speaker 1: Why are humans into it? Are there other animals into it? Bryce,
Speaker 1: Ryan Clark, Malia Holland, and Ray Moore all asked other
Speaker 1: primates into that too.
Speaker 2: Animals will put their ding dong in pretty much anything
Speaker 2: they can. It's pretty common to put your ding dong
Speaker 2: in many orifices, and yes, the butthole is one of them.
Speaker 2: I mean, then again, honestly, I've seen copulations in the field,
Speaker 2: but it's so far spider monkeys are so far up.
Speaker 2: I don't know what hole they're putting it in. I'm
Speaker 2: assuming it's the vagina, but I don't know. But we
Speaker 2: do see, for instance, a lot of homosexual activity in
Speaker 2: the animal kingdom. There's been at least fifteen hundred documented
Speaker 2: species that have engaged in homosexual encounters. That doesn't necessarily
Speaker 2: mean again, like that they identify as gay. It just means,
Speaker 2: you know, again that it really demonstrates the fluidity of sexuality.
Speaker 2: For instance, lions will engage in a little spooting and
Speaker 2: sporking and forking of the same sex. And you'll see
Speaker 2: it in multiple species of animal, buffalo putting the buy
Speaker 2: and bison they'll go through usually phases or periods of
Speaker 2: time where they have a lot of homosexual encounters with
Speaker 2: other male bison. So yeah, I mean, we're definitely not
Speaker 2: the only species that enjoys a little you know, rump
Speaker 2: action if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: That's yeah's wonderful to what a celebration. Just do what
Speaker 1: you want as long as it's a consensual situation. Do
Speaker 1: whatever you like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever feels good. Yeah, just you know, I mean,
Speaker 2: and I think for humans, just make sure you know
Speaker 2: everybody's consenting and lubrication is key, kids.
Speaker 1: If you love it. A lot of people squatty potty
Speaker 1: questions is it slam or is it actually best? So
Speaker 1: many of you, including Jeffrey Bradshaw, Rachel Drips, Flint Leek Iberson,
Speaker 1: Kelly Brockenton, Sara Pezos, Miz Pie, Maggie Fraser, Christina Hernandez,
Speaker 1: and Lisa Ma.
Speaker 2: That's a good question. No, seriously, I've you know, talked
Speaker 2: to a lot of doctors and you know, other biological anthropologists,
Speaker 2: and it's absolutely a much better way to do the pooping. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because it really does. I mean, I'm so I having
Speaker 2: done field work, I have popped squats all over the place,
Speaker 2: and even just living in New York City. That's not
Speaker 2: to say I poop on street corners, but you know,
Speaker 2: you get desperate and oh, look a corner, you will pee.
Speaker 2: But for pooping, it really does. You do feel the
Speaker 2: difference when you're actually squatting versus sitting on a toilet.
Speaker 2: So yes, it kind of does that. It talks about
Speaker 2: unkinking the coal colon, it really does sort of allow
Speaker 2: the colon to have the proper flow to get the
Speaker 2: poop out. And also, I don't know about you, but
Speaker 2: like there's always those poops that you're like, that was
Speaker 2: like a one wiper, you know, I feel like they
Speaker 2: increase with the squaty potty where you're like, oh, that
Speaker 2: wasn't messy and disgusting. I feel better. I'm maybe a
Speaker 2: little teami, but you know.
Speaker 1: Hey, we're all friends here Friday nights. Amazing. That's so good.
Speaker 1: And you know what, I'm sure that if our dogs
Speaker 1: use toilets, they might need a little more help in
Speaker 1: that department, you know, right, Oh, okay. Final Patreon question
Speaker 1: was asked by sixteen people in this same exactly the
Speaker 1: same verbiage. Christina Tortorolo, Adam Smith, James Hale's Luke Veritie Mathis,
Speaker 1: Kelly Brockington, Nathan Algrim, Thimblewim Astrakhlithar, Mia Colerat, that American Claire.
Speaker 1: I think some other people all want to know, is
Speaker 1: but legs?
Speaker 2: I love your patron so much.
Speaker 1: Apparently there's a lot of internet chatter started on Judge
Speaker 1: John Hodgman's podcast, and yeah, is butt legs?
Speaker 2: I don't think butts are legs technically, because I think
Speaker 2: they're more part of the trunk. I mean like they're
Speaker 2: more I mean, like I see legs. So I that's
Speaker 2: funny that you say that. My best friend and I
Speaker 2: came up with a term when we were what twelve.
Speaker 2: We called it the bleg, and that's where the butt
Speaker 2: meets the leg. So I call that the bleg. And
Speaker 2: so I feel like the legs begin at the bleg,
Speaker 2: which is where the butt technically ends, and the legs
Speaker 2: I feel like technically begin because I feel like, you
Speaker 2: know the fact that you know, the butt is still
Speaker 2: very much on the trunk. I don't know where your
Speaker 2: butt crack is. I mean everyone has, as Jacqueline Stallone
Speaker 2: has pointed out to me, varying great varying lengths and
Speaker 2: wits of butt cracks. If I went where my butt
Speaker 2: crack ended, I mean, that's very much still my my
Speaker 2: my front butt, and I I'd like to think those
Speaker 2: that was not legs, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So if you have a butt crack, just think of
Speaker 1: what's on the other side of it, through your body,
Speaker 1: and ask yourself, is that legs? Right? We have our answer.
Speaker 1: This is why Natalia is a gluteologist and we're not.
Speaker 2: So I I personally am the believer that the butt
Speaker 2: is not legs, but the blag is a thing. Maybe
Speaker 2: the under boob is like the blag, you know, And
Speaker 2: I feel like black, I mean, you ember when it's
Speaker 2: like when I always wonder if like under boob became
Speaker 2: a thing in the side boob, and it's like you
Speaker 2: never see like underball becoming a thing or the the
Speaker 2: blag kind of true.
Speaker 1: I feel like you need to have an action comedy
Speaker 1: called Grundlin Bleags, the Unsung Undercarriages.
Speaker 2: Chowed McDaniels, Joe.
Speaker 1: Green leg Sold, oh my god. And I always have
Speaker 1: to ask, although I can't imagine, but the worst thing
Speaker 1: about butts? What sucks butts?
Speaker 2: I wish that I knew everything about but that's the
Speaker 2: thing that bothers me the most. That was like my
Speaker 2: biggest like sadness going into this this podcast was like,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm gonna get questions I don't know, and
Speaker 2: I'm going to feel like, well I ever get behind
Speaker 2: knowing everything about the behind.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I want to also bring attention to loving your butt
Speaker 2: no matter what you know. And we kind of touched
Speaker 2: on this a little bit before, but like, you know,
Speaker 2: the ass List and the ass full need to kind
Speaker 2: of come together and reach across the crack that separates us.
Speaker 1: What about your favorite thing? What about your favorite thing
Speaker 1: about what you us to do?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh gosh, well I love breaking things down where
Speaker 2: you know you can. I laugh every time I read
Speaker 2: a peer reviewed article even the ones that I really
Speaker 2: shouldn't be laughing about. It's such an honor to be
Speaker 2: able to take the science that I know about and
Speaker 2: I'm learning about and will continue to learn about, and
Speaker 2: break it down in a way that will make people
Speaker 2: do a spittake and laugh because for me, that's that's key,
Speaker 2: because that's the way you kind of remember stuff, right
Speaker 2: And for me, like again, I think anthropology my field,
Speaker 2: is a really cool field because it really looks at
Speaker 2: what makes us human and what makes so unique compared
Speaker 2: to other species, but also realizing we're not so unique
Speaker 2: after all, you know, but also using what we know
Speaker 2: about our species to kind of hopefully make us better people,
Speaker 2: you know, and just make us hopefully a little bit
Speaker 2: more tolerant and kind, especially when we look at things
Speaker 2: like human variation and stuff like that, whether it's the
Speaker 2: color of our skin, our sexuality, our gender, our butts,
Speaker 2: anything and everything, you know, kind of just sort of
Speaker 2: boiling it down to make people realize that we're all
Speaker 2: just kind of I mean, in a way, we're all
Speaker 2: in this together, butts and all.
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, no if ants or butts, So ask
Speaker 1: smart people, not smart questions, because there's an expert for everything,
Speaker 1: and their knowledge might change the way you look at
Speaker 1: your own butt. So for more of Natalia Reagan, she
Speaker 1: is on Twitter and Instagram and Natalia thirteen Reagan She's
Speaker 1: on TikTok at Behold Natalia. There will also be links
Speaker 1: in the show notes to that and her website, as
Speaker 1: well as with donation. Went also links in the show
Speaker 1: notes to free transcripts. Bleeped episodes as well as every
Speaker 1: episode we've ever done, sorted by topic, are up at
Speaker 1: Aliward dot com. You can follow us if you like
Speaker 1: at Ologies, I'm at Aliward with one l. Ologies merch
Speaker 1: is available at Aliward dot com too. Thank you Bonnie
Speaker 1: Dutch and Shannon Fealtis for managing that. Thank you Aaron
Speaker 1: Talbert for admining the Ologies podcast Facebook group. Thank you
Speaker 1: to all the patrons at patreon dot com slash Ologies.
Speaker 1: You can join for as little as a dollar a
Speaker 1: month and submit questions to ologists. Thank you Emily White
Speaker 1: and all the transcribers for making episode transcripts available to everyone.
Speaker 1: Thank you to Kayleb Patten for bleeping episodes. Thanks Noel
Speaker 1: Dilworth for helping schedule the interviews. Thank you to assistant
Speaker 1: editor and all around major help, Jarrett Sleeper, and of
Speaker 1: course the man who is never the butt of a joke,
Speaker 1: Steve Marie Morrise. He is wonderful. He hosts the percast
Speaker 1: see Jurassic Right and everything but the movie A Star
Speaker 1: Wars Books podcast which just came out. Nick Thorburn did
Speaker 1: the theme music. And if you stick around to the end,
Speaker 1: you know I tell you a secret. And I can't
Speaker 1: remember or if I've shared this, but it's a fun
Speaker 1: life fact to do. If it's someone's birthday, go ahead,
Speaker 1: before you see them, write the words happy and birthday
Speaker 1: on each butt cheek with a sharpie, and then at
Speaker 1: some point just casually moon them. They'll be so surprised
Speaker 1: and happy. This is especially useful for socially distanced celebrations.
Speaker 1: The other secret I will tell you is that I
Speaker 1: am recording these asides in an idling car, an idling
Speaker 1: rental car just outside of Seattle, Washington. I'm here shooting
Speaker 1: Innovation Nation. The camera crew is setting up inside. I'm
Speaker 1: recording these before I shoot and sending them and then I'm.
Speaker 3: Hopping a flight.
Speaker 1: Please tell your butt it's beautiful for me, but not
Speaker 1: do it in a cute, nice way.
Speaker 3: And not in a creepy way.
Speaker 1: I'm not about that.
Speaker 3: Okay, byebye pacadermatology, homeology, crypto zoology, lithology, technology, meteorology, batology, napology, seriology, elinology.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, but dance again, like the rhythms down your
Speaker 1: pants now