WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:05.799 Fed up with the everyday grind, tired out by the 2 00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:09.960 dull routine, you want to get away from it. 3 00:00:10.640 --> 00:00:11.640 We offer you. 4 00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:20.960 Escape, escape designed to free you from the four walls 5 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:23.839 of today for a half hour of high adventure. 6 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:31.519 You are crouched in the middle of an immense hurricane, houses, animals, 7 00:00:31.719 --> 00:00:36.079 trees sweeping past you, and you suddenly realize that you've 8 00:00:36.200 --> 00:00:41.479 tampered with a universe that you're bringing about the destruction 9 00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:42.280 of the world. 10 00:00:50.280 --> 00:00:53.600 Tonight we escape to a placid English village and the 11 00:00:53.640 --> 00:00:57.159 presence of an equally placid little man who one day 12 00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:58.560 shook the world. 13 00:00:59.039 --> 00:00:59.719 As HG. 14 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:03.640 Wells told it in his delightful and famous story The 15 00:01:03.799 --> 00:01:06.079 Man Who Could Work Miracles. 16 00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:16.760 And now I might say right in the beginning that 17 00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:19.239 I ain't the kind of chap who has a naturally 18 00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:23.799 argumentative disposition, meaning the kind who's always engaging in hostile 19 00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:28.719 discussions with perfect strangers. Quite the contrary, I'm a reasonable 20 00:01:28.799 --> 00:01:32.400 man who always takes proper thought before he speaks, and 21 00:01:32.519 --> 00:01:36.719 one who has due respect for scientific truth. Why I 22 00:01:36.920 --> 00:01:39.680 ain't never open my mouth to utter a word that 23 00:01:39.959 --> 00:01:42.959 wasn't a pure ahn diluted a fact. 24 00:01:43.480 --> 00:01:45.359 That's what you say. 25 00:01:48.159 --> 00:01:52.920 Howsoever, when a man of inferior intellect such as Tuddy 26 00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:55.799 Beamish has showed himself to be more than once. When 27 00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:59.480 a man like that insists upon airing his ridiculous opinions 28 00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:01.840 in a publick places such as the Long Dragon Bar, 29 00:02:02.359 --> 00:02:05.239 then I've got no choice but to confound him with 30 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:07.599 the superior knowledge which I possesses. 31 00:02:08.120 --> 00:02:11.680 That may be well and good, perhaps, but it's only 32 00:02:11.800 --> 00:02:12.800 what you say. 33 00:02:13.319 --> 00:02:16.560 On the contrary, mister Beamish. The statements which I have 34 00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:19.960 just made are such as might come from any intelligent 35 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:23.759 human being with a true knowledge of scientific a principle, 36 00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:27.039 which same can't be said for some of us here 37 00:02:27.080 --> 00:02:31.240 at this bar. So you say, that's right, So I say, 38 00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:34.000 And if you can't contribute nothing but the same three 39 00:02:34.039 --> 00:02:36.919 words to this discussion, I will thank you to admit 40 00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:39.280 that you are defeated and a shut your mouth. 41 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:42.879 Well now, mister father, I appeal to you. 42 00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:43.719 She does it. 43 00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:46.840 I appeal to your constable When I'm only trying to 44 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:49.560 enlighten the man from the bug of hgnorance. He's a 45 00:02:49.560 --> 00:02:52.400 floundering in and he keeps coming up with his infernal 46 00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:56.199 So you say, well, I'm not wasting my words that's all. 47 00:02:57.120 --> 00:02:59.719 If the fins of stout and nile flown across this 48 00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:02.759 bar the why words to why, then i'd have been 49 00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:04.439 retiring years ago. 50 00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:08.080 Quite right, miss Bridges, I'll have another the same if 51 00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:08.680 you don't mind. 52 00:03:08.840 --> 00:03:09.599 Let's see that was. 53 00:03:09.639 --> 00:03:13.120 Quite a bit of why. Alright, study Bemish. I shouldn't 54 00:03:13.159 --> 00:03:15.919 be wasting me time on you, but out of the 55 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:20.840 goodness of my heart, I'll do it anyhow suit yourself. Now, 56 00:03:21.879 --> 00:03:24.439 let's take, for example, that pint of ale that you're 57 00:03:24.479 --> 00:03:25.400 holding in your end. 58 00:03:25.759 --> 00:03:27.159 It's pretty empty. 59 00:03:27.639 --> 00:03:32.360 I've paid for the last one, all right. Now suppose, 60 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:35.400 for instance, if that ale was to turn into wine. 61 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:37.759 I never cared much for wine. 62 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:41.319 I was Lockdale back. Now, if that ale there was 63 00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:44.719 to turn into wine, then you'd have a miracle, so 64 00:03:45.039 --> 00:03:50.039 you say, so. Anybody says, perhaps you ain't even aware 65 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:53.159 of the proper definition of what a miracle is, mister Beamish. 66 00:03:53.719 --> 00:03:58.159 Well, some miracles is one kind, and summer's another. 67 00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:01.520 If anybody left so much as tuppens on the bi 68 00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:05.280 is a gratuity for my services, that would be a miracle, 69 00:04:05.319 --> 00:04:05.800 all right. 70 00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:08.879 Be that as it may, Miss Bridges. But a miracle 71 00:04:08.919 --> 00:04:12.159 ain't of one kind or another. A true miracle is 72 00:04:12.199 --> 00:04:15.400 something contrari wise to the course of nature, done by 73 00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:19.040 the power of will. So you said something what couldn't 74 00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:24.360 happen without being specially willed to happen? And miracles ain't possible, 75 00:04:24.600 --> 00:04:26.160 easy led, easy enough. 76 00:04:26.439 --> 00:04:29.879 Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say they ain't. 77 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:34.720 It's your ignorance. It's talking. Look you see that lamp 78 00:04:34.759 --> 00:04:36.839 sitting there on the end of the bar, burning as 79 00:04:36.879 --> 00:04:37.759 bright as you please. 80 00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:38.879 I said, right. 81 00:04:38.839 --> 00:04:42.800 Enough now, that lamp, in the natural course of nature 82 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:45.480 couldn't burn like that if it was turned upside down 83 00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:49.519 and hanging in the air. You say it couldn't, mister Beech, 84 00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:52.680 do you mean to tell me that you're all right? 85 00:04:52.879 --> 00:04:56.639 All right? Maybe it couldn't, and. 86 00:04:56.720 --> 00:05:01.839 If it did, it'd be a miracle. Well, now, supposing 87 00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:05.240 somebody was to come along, take me, for instance, And 88 00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:08.480 he pointed his finger at that lamp like this, and said, 89 00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:14.560 turn upside down. Now, if the lamp, if it's sid's preservice, 90 00:05:14.639 --> 00:05:19.480 if it aren't doing it well now, clime and the 91 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:22.680 other visible means of support, I can't keep it up 92 00:05:22.720 --> 00:05:23.519 there much longer. 93 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:28.920 Remarkable remark again, stop it, stopper, immediately. And that's my 94 00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:29.800 official order. 95 00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:35.000 I have a care constable watch out there. It goes. Now. 96 00:05:35.079 --> 00:05:37.800 See what you've done, mister fother and God, my best 97 00:05:37.959 --> 00:05:42.319 lamp chimney clean more than an hour ago, smashed in 98 00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:43.079 this smellory. 99 00:05:43.240 --> 00:05:44.800 But I didn't try to do it. 100 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:47.759 You knew you might have caught the whole place of fire. 101 00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:51.920 Mostly irregular and illegal. Besides, like he's not, we'll have 102 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:53.319 no more of it, you understand. 103 00:05:53.399 --> 00:05:54.279 But I'll tell you I. 104 00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:56.680 Didn't mean you when you're silly conjuring trick. 105 00:05:56.839 --> 00:05:59.680 It wasn't a conjuring trick, that's what she said. No 106 00:05:59.720 --> 00:06:02.120 doubt you had a bit too much to drink. All 107 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:04.399 I'd done was to point my finger at it like that. 108 00:06:04.639 --> 00:06:06.680 Stop it now, don't you dare? 109 00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:10.360 But that's all I've done in that case, mister farther 110 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:13.480 and gay, you defeat your own argument right out of 111 00:06:13.560 --> 00:06:14.519 your own mouth. 112 00:06:14.839 --> 00:06:16.560 And how is that? Might I ask? 113 00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:20.759 If it weren't caused by some form of trickery, then 114 00:06:20.800 --> 00:06:23.319 what happened to that lamp was a miracle? 115 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:26.240 Oh here, Now, I ain't hold him with no bloomy 116 00:06:26.279 --> 00:06:28.959 miracles old with them or not, as the case might be, 117 00:06:29.199 --> 00:06:30.240 mister farther and gay. 118 00:06:30.839 --> 00:06:36.519 But you just stood right there and performed a real, true, honest, 119 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:40.399 genuine miracle. That's what you'd done. 120 00:06:45.720 --> 00:06:47.920 It wasn't a matter of being asked to leave the 121 00:06:47.959 --> 00:06:51.079 long greg And you understand I already had my mind 122 00:06:51.120 --> 00:06:54.839 set on going anyhow, a place what's full of hignorant superstition, 123 00:06:55.160 --> 00:06:57.480 and the kind of place for a man of rational 124 00:06:57.480 --> 00:07:00.920 intellect to be doing his thinking, and thinking was just 125 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:04.240 one was called for. On the one end, I weren't 126 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:07.639 ready to swallow no miracle theory. But on the other end, 127 00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:11.639 I wasn't able to recollect no scientific a principle, but 128 00:07:11.800 --> 00:07:14.639 might account for what that which had happened. As you 129 00:07:14.759 --> 00:07:21.680 might say, the question had dissolved itself into a dilemma. Oh, 130 00:07:21.720 --> 00:07:25.079 my landlady, missus Teverington was sitting up in the parlor 131 00:07:25.120 --> 00:07:25.800 when I come in. 132 00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:28.120 Good evening, mister Fotheringay. 133 00:07:27.720 --> 00:07:30.040 But I can't recall saying anything to her. 134 00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:32.319 Well, very well, mister. 135 00:07:33.639 --> 00:07:36.839 I went straight to my own room, closed me door, 136 00:07:37.199 --> 00:07:39.959 licked the candle, and then I sat there on the 137 00:07:40.040 --> 00:07:42.560 edge of my bed, a grappling with the problem in 138 00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:46.240 heroic fashion, and trying to puzzle out the ultimate solution. 139 00:07:48.360 --> 00:07:52.279 Weren't no easy thing to do. It couldn't have happened, 140 00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:55.759 but it had happened, which ain't logic no matter how 141 00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:58.480 you look at it. Why it It'd be the same 142 00:07:58.519 --> 00:08:00.680 situation if I was to point me finger at that 143 00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:04.160 candle there and say, be raised up in the air, 144 00:08:04.439 --> 00:08:10.319 and it was to climby hanging there like a blooming firefly. 145 00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:14.759 But it's contraary wise that poor up there, it goes 146 00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:20.600 Oh black as your hat. Now where in the tar 147 00:08:20.759 --> 00:08:24.560 nation did that confounded thing get to? At any rate? 148 00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:30.000 There should be some matches around here somewhere. Oh, I say, 149 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:38.240 maybe I could let there be a match in me hand. Well, 150 00:08:38.360 --> 00:08:44.879 now just like that, oh safety, imagine a lot of 151 00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:51.639 blooming good that's going to oh half a half? Now, 152 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:57.960 maybe I don't need no match. Maybe I could candle 153 00:08:58.919 --> 00:09:03.480 wherever you are be lighted. Oh he now, not in 154 00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:05.519 the middle of my bed. I will not be having 155 00:09:05.559 --> 00:09:09.360 any of them. Now, well, come in. 156 00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:12.159 It ain't lot, mister fothering guy. 157 00:09:12.679 --> 00:09:14.960 Can't I inquire what's coming off a here? 158 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:17.879 You maright inquire and took places with you? Can't you 159 00:09:17.960 --> 00:09:19.720 recognize a man who's got his hands full. 160 00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:20.600 Of trouble tables. 161 00:09:20.679 --> 00:09:25.799 Indeed, I'll have you understand, Oh, mister furthering guy, why 162 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:28.320 you smoke coming out of that bed. 163 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:29.639 Because it caught on fire. 164 00:09:29.879 --> 00:09:34.039 That's why, oh may war comforter with a null band 165 00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:36.840 in it and taking lighted candles to bed with you. 166 00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:40.200 I am not taking no candles anywhere, and I will 167 00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:42.519 thank you to leave me the privacy of my own 168 00:09:42.600 --> 00:09:43.320 a bed chamber. 169 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:46.919 Well, I never you have been drinken. 170 00:09:47.240 --> 00:09:51.200 On the contrary, I have been cogitating upon matters of science, 171 00:09:51.480 --> 00:09:54.799 which is far beyond the range of your feeble hintellect. 172 00:09:54.799 --> 00:09:57.440 And with all the money I have to spend on candles, 173 00:09:57.720 --> 00:09:59.679 I'll let you know that if any candles are going 174 00:09:59.720 --> 00:10:03.720 to bed fussed around loose like in this house, I'll. 175 00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:07.440 Do the tousson missus Teverington. I might remind you that 176 00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:11.440 good steady lodgers such as a man like myself, ain't 177 00:10:11.480 --> 00:10:14.559 so easy to come by nowadayes with which I will 178 00:10:14.600 --> 00:10:18.879 bill you are highly a respectable A good a night. 179 00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:22.480 I've never been so insulted in all my life, and 180 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:23.759 you can rest assure you. 181 00:10:23.759 --> 00:10:25.080 Ever done the last of this. 182 00:10:27.240 --> 00:10:32.480 Old vulture. Don't know who she's talking to me. A 183 00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:35.559 bloke what's only got to point his finger and say. 184 00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:37.080 Be and it is. 185 00:10:38.679 --> 00:10:43.320 Yimy. If I ain't suddenly got the power to perform miracles, 186 00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:49.879 real genuine miracles like as not the result of my 187 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:59.399 long devotion to the true principles of science. Well I 188 00:10:59.519 --> 00:11:02.360 got through the next day without no trouble, and come 189 00:11:02.440 --> 00:11:05.120 evening I went walking down the lane that leads around 190 00:11:05.159 --> 00:11:09.159 Millsdale's Pond, tempting to put my mental processes into order. 191 00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:12.879 As you might say, mostly I kept trying to cogitate 192 00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:16.360 on some honest to betsy miracle I might up and perform, 193 00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:18.679 But it ain't such an easy matter for a chap 194 00:11:18.679 --> 00:11:21.840 who's unaccustomed to goings on at that nature. Now, what 195 00:11:22.039 --> 00:11:25.320 I wanted was the genuine art, all you understand, no 196 00:11:25.440 --> 00:11:29.080 little shenanigans, one with which to make people stop and 197 00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:32.879 say blame me. Now, if that ain't a real, downright 198 00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:37.240 miracle for you, all of a sudden I had it. 199 00:11:38.840 --> 00:11:42.519 I just happened to recollect a chat somewhere who stuck 200 00:11:42.600 --> 00:11:46.080 his staff into the ground and commanded it to blossom. 201 00:11:46.559 --> 00:11:50.720 So I poked me walking stick into the edge of 202 00:11:50.720 --> 00:11:54.080 the turf our back doorful wee bit and pointed my 203 00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:59.799 finger at it. Walking stick become a blooming bush of 204 00:12:00.600 --> 00:12:09.159 posies roses by heaven, I've done it, just like that 205 00:12:09.240 --> 00:12:13.799 fellow in the opera? What's going on here, Constable Winch, 206 00:12:13.879 --> 00:12:15.879 confound a man anyhow, Say. 207 00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:18.240 And assist whatever it is you're doing in the. 208 00:12:18.279 --> 00:12:21.159 Name of the crowd. You there, rose bush, go bet 209 00:12:21.279 --> 00:12:22.159 now faster? 210 00:12:22.360 --> 00:12:28.879 Who is your thrown brammel bushes at last and France 211 00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:30.879 white into him and severely. 212 00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:33.600 Yeah, confounded, blundering idiot. 213 00:12:34.039 --> 00:12:37.679 I've seen now who's conducting the various activities under the 214 00:12:37.799 --> 00:12:41.240 cover of darkness, assaulting an officer and gains in the 215 00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:42.799 pursuit of his natural. 216 00:12:43.720 --> 00:12:49.559 Well, so it's you, mister Fotheringay, the fact being self evident, 217 00:12:49.679 --> 00:12:52.440 mister Winch, I will not bother myself to hands, so 218 00:12:52.679 --> 00:12:53.080 you will. 219 00:12:53.000 --> 00:12:54.759 Not bother yourself to aunts. 220 00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:58.480 Maybe you'll also deny that you just threw a great 221 00:12:58.600 --> 00:13:00.159 heavy mass of foliage at me. 222 00:13:00.440 --> 00:13:01.320 I do deny it. 223 00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:02.480 They're no doubt. 224 00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:05.399 It just up and flew through the air all by itself. 225 00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:08.879 Constable Wench, you have just hit the nail on the head. 226 00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:11.559 So that's the way the wind blows. 227 00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:14.840 Some more of them blasted hanky pink conjuring tricks of 228 00:13:14.919 --> 00:13:15.720 yours is at it. 229 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:19.240 On the contrary, it was merely a small miracle. 230 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:22.519 You don't say so, in which case his honor might 231 00:13:22.679 --> 00:13:24.000 enjoy hearing you tell about it. 232 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:25.639 So come along with you an now. 233 00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:29.320 I will do nothing of the kind, Oh, resistant an officer. 234 00:13:29.960 --> 00:13:33.759 There'll be another charge against your charge in d mister witch. 235 00:13:34.039 --> 00:13:38.080 You can take your charges and and go to Hades. 236 00:13:39.799 --> 00:13:46.440 Whoa constable, Oh, mister wincholime me if he had gone 237 00:13:46.440 --> 00:13:54.039 and disappeared complete like wonder if he I'm thinking this 238 00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:57.440 miracle business ain't all. It's talking up to me why 239 00:13:57.600 --> 00:13:59.639 a man might find himself in a whole peck of 240 00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:02.759 truck before he learns the knack of the thing. I'm 241 00:14:02.840 --> 00:14:06.080 thinking I'd best go and get myself some really professional 242 00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:07.679 advice right away. 243 00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:21.600 Good evening to you, brother, a very pleasant evening. 244 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:23.759 And the same to you with many of the mister Maidig, 245 00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:25.679 that that is your reverence. 246 00:14:26.120 --> 00:14:29.240 No no formality now done at all. No, just call 247 00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:30.720 me mister maydig. 248 00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:32.679 Will thank you kindly? 249 00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:36.440 Or maidig yip, won't you step inside? 250 00:14:37.559 --> 00:14:39.679 Much obliged to you, mister reverend. 251 00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:45.480 Just follow me now this way, mister I can't say 252 00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:46.279 that I caught the. 253 00:14:46.360 --> 00:14:50.159 Name fathering Gay a George a w Fathering Gay. 254 00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:52.480 Oh yes, not from my parish. 255 00:14:52.720 --> 00:14:55.919 Well, yes, attended services last Christmas. 256 00:14:56.159 --> 00:15:01.039 Indeed, so many people did last Christmas. Well, here we are, 257 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:03.159 mister Bothering Bayture. 258 00:15:03.440 --> 00:15:08.440 It's a farthering, gayer, nicer diggings you've got here. 259 00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:12.639 Oh, adequate, mister mothering Way, adequate for my simple wants. 260 00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:18.080 Now now, just feel entirely free to lay your burdens 261 00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:19.159 upon my shoulders. 262 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:23.320 Well, the fact is, huh, the matter which I have 263 00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:26.039 come here to talk about might be considered of a 264 00:15:26.120 --> 00:15:29.039 somewhat delicate nature. 265 00:15:29.240 --> 00:15:32.600 Oh, oll think nothing of it. You please feel free 266 00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:36.720 to speak, will speak freely. My housekeeper retires very early. 267 00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:42.360 Oh no, your reverendship is nothing like that. Then, Like 268 00:15:42.879 --> 00:15:47.639 what the subject about which I am inquiring is miracles? 269 00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:54.360 Miracles? Oh? Yes, yes, indeed miracles, any special kind of miracles? 270 00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:58.320 Oh yes, the kind which I perform myself, which you perform? 271 00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:05.080 M I see? And what sort of miracles do you perform? 272 00:16:05.879 --> 00:16:09.279 Well, for one thing, I have just finished sending Constable 273 00:16:09.320 --> 00:16:10.759 Winch to Hades Hades. 274 00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:15.720 Indeed, now that's it very interesting. 275 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:17.840 Of course, when I realized what had happened, I had 276 00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:21.480 him transferred to San Francisco wherever that is. 277 00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:24.799 Oh, I'm sure sure he likes San Francisco much better. 278 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:28.879 You don't believe me. I can't say that I blame 279 00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:29.480 you none either. 280 00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.200 We'll aft all, mister Dutheringly. 281 00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:36.720 It's Fotheringay, well, very well, there ain't nothing else to 282 00:16:36.759 --> 00:16:38.639 do but for me to go up and perform a 283 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:40.360 few miracles before we go any farther. 284 00:16:40.679 --> 00:16:44.200 Well, that's very interesting, I'm sure. Ah. 285 00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:47.399 You just take that jar of tobacco there on the table, 286 00:16:47.480 --> 00:16:50.720 for instance. Suppose I just point my finger at it 287 00:16:51.159 --> 00:16:55.000 like this and become a bowl of violets. 288 00:16:55.679 --> 00:16:57.600 Yes, indeed, it's very inter. 289 00:16:59.039 --> 00:17:02.200 You see, it ain't no tobacco jar, no more, it's 290 00:17:02.279 --> 00:17:03.240 a bowl of pilots. 291 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:07.200 Well, god BlimE, I mean so it is. 292 00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:10.920 Of course, it ain't nothing very spectacular, your o friendship, 293 00:17:11.039 --> 00:17:12.680 But it is the sort of a miracle a man 294 00:17:12.759 --> 00:17:15.920 can pass without tangling himself up in a mass of trouble. 295 00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:21.319 Extraordinary, very will is extraordinary. 296 00:17:21.880 --> 00:17:27.039 You can see for yourself. They're real violets. Indeed, Yes, indeed, 297 00:17:27.559 --> 00:17:32.160 now take this for example, become a bowl of fish, 298 00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:38.240 No not that kind live fish in a goldfish bowl 299 00:17:38.519 --> 00:17:43.519 swimming around. Now that's better. 300 00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:47.559 It's amazing. How did you do it? You just told 301 00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:49.839 it to That's that's all. 302 00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:52.319 That's all. When I tells the thing to do it, 303 00:17:52.839 --> 00:17:53.319 it does it? 304 00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:54.880 Incredible? 305 00:17:55.640 --> 00:17:58.400 It come on with sudden like you might say. And 306 00:17:58.519 --> 00:18:00.960 I'd like to know if it's a real genuine miracle 307 00:18:01.079 --> 00:18:05.039 or if it ain't. Will seeing as our miracles ought 308 00:18:05.079 --> 00:18:07.920 to come under your reverendship special province more or less. 309 00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:14.400 Yes, yes, yes, indeed. However, usually in somewhat more academic fashion, 310 00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:17.519 these are more more astonishing as. 311 00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:19.960 Far as I can tell. There ain't no limit to it, like, 312 00:18:20.039 --> 00:18:26.839 for instance, owl of fish turn into a pigeon. Good heavens, 313 00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:29.319 look at the thing here here now none of that? 314 00:18:29.720 --> 00:18:32.440 Or you stay away from mister Maydiger. Perhaps I'd better 315 00:18:33.559 --> 00:18:39.440 become that jar of tobacco again. Huh, well, Reverend, what 316 00:18:39.559 --> 00:18:40.319 do you think about it? 317 00:18:40.599 --> 00:18:45.240 Amazing, it's the most extraordinary thing I've ever seen in 318 00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:48.599 my life, ever expected to see. No, no, no, I've 319 00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:52.160 got to think about it too. Consider the possibilities. Well, 320 00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:54.880 I might come back in the morning. Oh no, no, no, no, no, 321 00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:57.359 wouldn't hear of it. I was about to dine when 322 00:18:57.400 --> 00:18:59.960 you rang, or wonder if you join me? Of course, 323 00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:02.559 I'm afraid there's only a cold mutton more. Well, now, 324 00:19:02.680 --> 00:19:05.680 maybe there's something else you might like better anything. Frankly, 325 00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:07.640 I've grown to hit the sight of. 326 00:19:09.160 --> 00:19:13.720 Hm. You don't mean, why not just name it pheasant? 327 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:17.920 I haven't tasted pheasant in years, and now is the time. 328 00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:23.640 Let there be a pheasant on the table, then I know? Now, No, no, no, no, 329 00:19:23.880 --> 00:19:26.240 luck like not like that. Let it be dead and 330 00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:27.839 roasted and ready to eat. 331 00:19:29.119 --> 00:19:30.279 Look look at it. 332 00:19:30.599 --> 00:19:36.960 What's beautiful. Smells good too. Maybe we'd best let there 333 00:19:37.039 --> 00:19:41.519 be two pheasants and traffle traffles it. Maybe some oyster, 334 00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:44.440 two dozen oysters, you better make it three dozen, and 335 00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:46.759 some cheddar. Oh you must have some cheddar, a pound 336 00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:50.359 of cheddar. And what to drink your reflection, champagne? 337 00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:53.799 Will I really shouldn't you know? But will? 338 00:19:54.440 --> 00:19:57.720 Perhaps a small bottle of ose Hills, six bottles of Moselle, 339 00:19:57.960 --> 00:20:09.400 a keg of stout, and a case of champagne. There 340 00:20:09.480 --> 00:20:11.640 wasn't no mistake about it. I had come to the 341 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:15.119 right place for said. Once miss Amite got over his 342 00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:19.279 first astonishment, he turned out full of ideas for brand 343 00:20:19.319 --> 00:20:23.039 new miracles, things even I might never have thought of, 344 00:20:23.400 --> 00:20:28.200 like as not well, we polished off that meal in 345 00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:31.039 no time at all, as easy as a cat frying 346 00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:34.279 eggs had. An hour later we was out walking in 347 00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:37.960 the dark streets of the village, turning out miraculous jobs 348 00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:42.599 so fast I fairly wore out my finger appointing with it. 349 00:20:43.559 --> 00:20:46.519 I couldn't begin to tell you all the wonderful things 350 00:20:46.599 --> 00:20:49.160 we did in a couple of hours. He stalled a 351 00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:52.839 new railway line, drained Flinders swamp, turned it into a meadow, 352 00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:58.319 cured the vicar's warts, paved all the roads, limited, eliminated taxation, 353 00:20:59.079 --> 00:21:02.119 reformed the Lord mayor, and made all the girls in 354 00:21:02.200 --> 00:21:07.160 the village beautiful. Ah, these weren't none of your Eightney miracles. 355 00:21:07.400 --> 00:21:09.000 All of these were big. 356 00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:13.119 We went right on turning him out, one every two minutes, 357 00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:20.319 just as regular as clockwork. By midnight we passed clean 358 00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:22.880 through the village and were walking along the lane by 359 00:21:22.920 --> 00:21:27.000 Millsdale's pond, fairly tired out by all that thinking and 360 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:28.720 pointing and performing of miracles. 361 00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:33.200 Mister Fotheringay, I've just thought of another one, indeed, And 362 00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:36.319 what might it be the village clock there there. 363 00:21:36.200 --> 00:21:41.359 And the steeple. Listen, listen to it. Oh, it's terrible, 364 00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:45.160 true enough, it ain't got a very melodious sound to it. 365 00:21:45.400 --> 00:21:46.640 Then let's give them. 366 00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:50.640 A good clock, a great, rich, blooming one, all right, 367 00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:51.279 mister Maydi. 368 00:21:52.920 --> 00:21:58.240 Let that their clock become a genuine London style cathedral clock. 369 00:22:05.400 --> 00:22:11.279 Oh much better, much better. The people of this village 370 00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:13.119 are going to have a big surprise when they wake 371 00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:15.319 up in the morning, after all we've done for them tonight. 372 00:22:15.799 --> 00:22:18.160 I might say, there's one or two things we've done 373 00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:22.200 that I ain't so sure about, like turning every drop 374 00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:25.240 of alcoholic beverages into plain waters. 375 00:22:25.319 --> 00:22:27.920 Nothing to worry about, mister Follingay, you can always turn 376 00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:30.279 out a miraculous pint or two for your own purposes 377 00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:32.240 and it will reform. 378 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:34.960 All the drunkards in the village. Maybe so, At any rate, 379 00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:39.400 we might as well wait and see what comes of it. Well, 380 00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:41.599 what do we perform next? 381 00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:46.039 I really don't know. Can't think of another single miracle 382 00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:48.440 that we haven't already. Half a moment, mister maid, I 383 00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:50.359 just thought of one of my own. I'd best take 384 00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:50.680 care of. 385 00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:55.640 Let Constable Wench be right, back in San Francisco again. 386 00:22:57.359 --> 00:23:00.359 He might be catching a boat or a train or something. Stand. 387 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.000 I think the best idea is just to keep sending 388 00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:04.759 it back there every once in a while. 389 00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:09.160 I don't you have any anything to worry about. San 390 00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:11.480 Francisco is some distance away, you know. 391 00:23:12.279 --> 00:23:13.960 Is it. Oh, I'm glad to hear it. 392 00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:18.559 I keep trying to think of one more miracle, the 393 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:22.519 big one, something worthy of ending the night with. Eh, 394 00:23:22.680 --> 00:23:28.799 but I just don't. Oh. Well, now I say. 395 00:23:28.839 --> 00:23:31.720 There is one, you know, such as he You see 396 00:23:31.799 --> 00:23:35.799 that moon, mister Fotheringay naturally almost full by the looks 397 00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:44.680 of it. Remember, Joshua, Joshua, Joshua. Oh, come off it now. 398 00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:47.000 It would be a one rest thing to see. 399 00:23:47.640 --> 00:23:50.759 Well, now, that's a pretty tall horder making the moon 400 00:23:50.920 --> 00:23:51.680 stands still. 401 00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:55.240