Speaker 1: In the year two thousand and seven fourteen, a new
squad of operatives was chosen by the College of Illusion.
These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at
every opportunity. Today, still working together because really, who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can hire
the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: FELSONI, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag and Jesse Wicks as Bill Cuilance, Nico Rodriguez
as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing Tales of A Fool's Quest.
Speaker 3: Welcome back everybody to season nine of A Fool's Quest.
Oh my god, season nine. We're all nine years old now,
almost double digits almost yeah, getting there, yeah, nine and
a half. So last time when we left our heroes,
they had traveled across the Evocation Nation. They went in
and out and then back in, and then they kind
of wandered all around looking for Magnus Devlin when they
had directions pretty much right out the gate from a
from a clue that said he was north of patients,
but they eventually found him. They went, they found snuck
into his tower. Then they fought him and they killed him,
and they retrieved what they were sent to get. Well,
they killed him, which is part of what they were
sent to do, because he's kind of a menace. But
they also retrieved a slugshot that is what it's called
our sap if you will, which is a magical sock
full of coins, gold coins that they used to smash
people's heads with or you know, do whatever. So they
retrieved that for Baron yan Kaichausen, who they needed to
take back. Along the way, they lost a couple of
the other magic items that they were hoping to get
because they exploded the tower and almost killed themselves in
their attempt to kill Magnus Devlin, which we all know
that Magnus Devlin is actually a lich so even though
he died, he probably responded at a flactory somewhere cool.
Then shortly after that, the heroes made their way out
of the tower and then kind of surveyed the wreckage
thereafter finding in the midst of a hidden area the
infinite page of Evocation, which Edie quickly collected and added
to his inventory. Shortly after that page, which all of
this happened after season two, so if you're like, I
don't remember this happening, I'm narrating it right now. That's
why we'll sort of. Shortly after that, a portal opened up,
and a portal was on the other side of the
portal was Dean Smelting, who said that it was time
for them to come back through, and he was able
to gain access to them and find their location. Now
that Magnus Devlin's castle had been destroyed, they were able
to see him. A halfling, one of the first people
that you had rescued from the House of Members, which
Eddie is now the master of the Halfling named Twittledong,
was able to create the portal from the from the
main city in uh, the Illusion Nation. What's that city
called where you guys are from the first taken City? Yes,
I want to say Forbidden City, but that sounds like
a porno. So he was. He was one of the
ones that was sent to the Forsaken City with the
infinite page of conjurate or conjuration, uh evocation as abjuration.
Thank you, fuck my life. It's been a while, boys,
like it's been and it's been a minute days ms uh,
and I didn't read through notes before we started. We
just dove right in raw dog in it. So he
opened up a portal and said, you guys can come
back through a twital dong motioning you guys through, So
you come back through into the foresaken city. From there,
Adira was pretty roughed up, so she got picked up
by her man. Delbert was actually there in the city
waiting for her. So Delbert collected her and they went
off to a hospital to do del a thing, to
do delvert a deer thing.
Speaker 4: What is he going to try again?
Speaker 3: What they're they're smashing watermelons. Remember that's why it was
a cannibal joke.
Speaker 5: I just oh yeah, yeah, that was almost a triple on.
Speaker 3: I can't count. So a deer goes to Delbert and
leaves for a bit, and you all are now back
in your main city.
Speaker 6: I just need to point out, because the listeners can't
see it, that that entire introduction giving us backstory, and
the only thing that was written down was the.
Speaker 3: Name the twittled Dong twittle dog.
Speaker 6: Nobody wrote anything doll except for there, Like.
Speaker 2: I wrote I'm trying to make notes. I'm trying to
be responsible because.
Speaker 3: Because just isn't our note taker, does that mean I
have to throw the dice on the floor.
Speaker 6: Are we shifting?
Speaker 3: And so just for our listeners to know, Jess is
taking a quick sabbatical. She's got her own side question
needs to go on. But she will be back, and
she just has some real life stuff that was delaying
her a little bit. So there you go, nice job, Tony.
So when she gets that taking care of, she will
be back. So her character is going to be going
off and doing Dilbert things well while they're about, but
we do have a whole side story planned for what
she's doing. So I'm excited for her to come back.
So you guys can all know what her character has
been doing the entire time you guys have been off
adra spinoff story, the Adira spinoff franchise. Yeah, her character's
bad as enough it really could have its own show,
yeah for sure. Yeah. I mean, who wouldn't want to
see a barbarian redhead with fiery everything in a bikini
running around smashing things with an axe that's six times
or body mats. I'd buy that front dollar all right,
So you guys are back in the forsaken city with
Dean Smelting twiddledong and a Tobacxi that seems to be there,
and Dean Smelting says, you guys look like you're a
little rough for wear.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're well. You know, a castle blew up on us.
It wasn't our fault.
Speaker 3: Yeah, once once the castle went down, for some reason,
our scrying was able to pick up that area. We
were able to see your location and zero win on you.
So luckily for us, whatever you did bring that castle
down was able to we blewe the hell out of it.
Sure did.
Speaker 2: I think it was less about the castle, little more
about who lived in it.
Speaker 3: You said you were going to face Magnus Devlin. Is
that who you fought?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we fought him and he didn't come out.
Speaker 3: Well, blew the hell out of him.
Speaker 2: Man's right. M Well, it wasn't heavy, but we did it.
And I guess you should know too. We found a
little something in the rubble. I'm gonna pull out the
infinite scroll.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good. Turn the turn the tides, our way
for the for the war, right yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Right, now we've got evocation abduration, and then obviously our
own illusion. We are on our way to collecting all
of them. At this rate, we will in our way
of taking over or at least protecting the nations that
need protection from So.
Speaker 2: In the meantime, I don't think we should keep them
all together. Okay, you know, because what if someone kids
all of them?
Speaker 3: Right, that's just a good idea, it's a good plan.
What do you have in mind?
Speaker 2: So you've got the two of them right, ours an
adjuration that these fine first people brought. Maybe we move
one of them to the fame and famigrant growth to
the new city.
Speaker 3: Okay, then are the first people going to continue to
be there? He kind of directs that question towards you
as well as Twitdledong, and Twittledong just raises his halfling
shoulders like, I don't know, I'm here, I'm just gonna
raise my.
Speaker 7: Well.
Speaker 3: I mean it's kind of on the cusp at this
point of evocation. Uh, you know, their their territory. But
I mean, with you just destroying Magnus Devlin's forhold, do
you think there's going to be an impact in the
evocation nation for that? Did they know that he had
the scroll the infinite page.
Speaker 2: Oh I don't think they knew. No.
Speaker 3: Oh, so they probably won't stop there.
Speaker 5: They thought the Abjuration nation stole it.
Speaker 2: That's why they dated.
Speaker 3: Mmm. I see, well, so what's your plan? Then? You
want one to go to the family granite grove, one
to stay here, and one.
Speaker 2: To go keep this one. I guess. Okay, it keeps
the evil keep safe with us.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, we could We also have the House
of Members. We can hide on that at some point.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I've got I've got my own place of power.
That would be more secure than anything. Really.
Speaker 3: Oh all right.
Speaker 2: When you can ask these guys, isn't it right? All right?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I don't want to talk about it. It hurts
to think about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, bring that up.
Speaker 5: Actually, yeah, you can hide it up on the third floor.
Speaker 2: Hey, you know they get great fish sticks in the
cafeteria if you want to go.
Speaker 3: I love fish sticks.
Speaker 2: I figured the waffles too, Will you.
Speaker 3: Get me some.
Speaker 6: I can't go down there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll spit my food now, okay, I'll be done.
You go through a hole. He took the slide out
of the building when they rebuilt this wing with the
Dean's office and stuff. They have like a giant slide
now that goes out the third story and all the
way down with the grown.
Speaker 2: Hm.
Speaker 3: So look, do you guys need time to rest and recuperate?
Are the things you need to do around here? Or
are you ready to continue on with your mission?
Speaker 2: I think we could use a couple of days.
Speaker 6: I mean, we have an egg to hatch, and.
Speaker 2: We just exploded in a tower. Oh yeah that too,
So you know, a couple of days a week maybe
and then uh then then we'll get on with get
on with business.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, where's your egg that you have to hatch?
Mm hmm, it's the reporting.
Speaker 2: Probably.
Speaker 3: I think it's at the Famo Granite.
Speaker 6: I think you're yeah, like we left it there. We
left it there, didn't we send We sent somebody here. Yeah,
I'm going back again.
Speaker 3: You're all over?
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, we'll probably make a stop at the fam
of Grant of Growth to pick that egg up too
before we head out to whatever's next.
Speaker 6: And everybody, I demand you use the shadows under his desk.
Speaker 2: But speaking of what's next, this portal magic just got
us here. That's what conjuration. Yeah yeah, so maybe maybe
it maybe it maybe it jumping lean in that way.
Speaker 3: That seems useful, right, well, I mean all right, yeah,
I can talk to some of our operatives from the
Conjuration Nation and get some detailed information from them, and
we can send you out that way.
Speaker 2: Great, all right, And he hasn't told anyone like I
haven't told anyone. I can cast other spells like the
Dean doesn't know.
Speaker 3: Right, No, Dean doesn't know.
Speaker 2: Kind of leaning towards telling him you're a necromancer warlock,
but no I'm not. I did.
Speaker 6: Are those things different?
Speaker 3: Yes, I just sing songs.
Speaker 4: Look, I don't know about.
Speaker 2: We haven't read the necromancin nation yet.
Speaker 5: They're similar, but one is more socially acceptable.
Speaker 2: Yeah for now, Dean know we could use Yeah, we
could use some rest and a place to recuperate a
little bit. So I reckon our old rooms are are
good still.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I need a bath. I was going to
say something, well, we appreciate your You guys all smell
like burning.
Speaker 6: That's because I'm still on fire.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of meat that's singed.
Speaker 6: This vest reduces by fire damage, but it also just
never goes out. It's the weirdest thing.
Speaker 2: I'm just always black and white.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a lot more black right now.
Speaker 6: He's just got that old cartoon thing where his hair
is standing straight up and he's got the smoke on
his face.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, you guys are free to go about
your business, you said a day or two, I will
get some information back from our operatives and the Conjuration Nation,
and we will get a brief put together for you.
Speaker 2: Sounds good. We appreciate that, and we'll be uh well,
you'll find.
Speaker 3: Us all right, well as you were.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fuck off, head back to the the old, the old,
the old house.
Speaker 3: There where you guys go, Not through the door. He
points towards the slide. Fine, the door says entry.
Speaker 2: Only go down the exit slide.
Speaker 3: My antlers get stuck.
Speaker 6: Slides dog.
Speaker 3: The whole way down the door. All right, So what
do you guys do? You have a couple of days
to go wander about? What are we doing?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna change up my spells a little bit,
I think, Okay, prepare, but I'm also gonna just while
I'm fooling with my spells, just make it a part
of my routine to take a peek of that infinite
scroll of egocation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how does that work? Yeah, so I think what
we did is we did a D ten last time,
and that was kind of how many spells you learned
from using it or from going through it initially, and
then let you pick those.
Speaker 2: Okay, you got a five.
Speaker 3: A right, so you've picked up five scrolls. And then
also with that, with every scroll or with every infinite page,
each one had like a special feature function that it
can do once per day. It's fifty to fifty coin.
You can either do ten straight damage ignores all armor
with lightning damage or ten straight healing, like just ten points.
If you're holding onto that page and you touch someone. Cool,
but you have to rub your socks across your feet
across the floor to build up static electricity. Yeah, so
it's either it's either your zapping them with electricity to
fry them or you're like clear to ten you said, yep,
ten raw healing or raw damage ignores armor.
Speaker 4: Nice, reach out and touch it's cool. It's it's face.
Speaker 3: Touch face.
Speaker 6: That's why my father was for a varial spill, Like,
I don't know what touching faces.
Speaker 2: Look man.
Speaker 6: Songs back in the day, we're about some weird stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that that songs literally like your own personal Jesus.
Speaker 6: All right, No, right, I don't even I know nothing
about that song other than he wants to touch people's faces.
Speaker 3: All right, Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2: Enjoy the si literally the word.
Speaker 3: Songs about ash well ND's day. Okay, what else are you?
What are you two doing outside of going up that slide?
Speaker 6: I'm cleaning up, yeah, and healing.
Speaker 3: I'm finding a.
Speaker 5: Giant bathtub somewhere, filling it completely full of water and
changing into a wallrush and just wall.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm gonna do the same, but mine's gonna be
full of olive oil and spices. Okay, and then afterwards
I'm gonna find it. Raggon, we're gonna wrestle. Wait what
you own?
Speaker 3: Rattle?
Speaker 6: You ever seen a pig try and catch an oiled
up man?
Speaker 3: He's a walrus trying to catch an oiled up man.
Tentacle speed. I don't like it. Reg is a fever dream.
This is really how you guys want to kick off
season nine? Yes, I mean all right, he's two opposing
strang rules.
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 6: Did I did I bop him first?
Speaker 3: Yes? Why did you want to bump him? But that's
what he does.
Speaker 6: You're brushing me harder.
Speaker 3: Play that song. I like Bill, but just the symbol.
It's his favorite song. It's so catchy. Well, anything else
you guys want to do?
Speaker 4: Or are we good?
Speaker 3: Pretty good? All right? You guys are back up to
full health. I know when you left Magnus Devlin's you
were only half health. So you've all got.
Speaker 5: Lower Yeah, anything more than one. We're good to go,
all right?
Speaker 3: And then Eddie's still doing his spells, but we should
be good, right, Yeah, okay, So you guys head back
to Dean Smeltings when you're ready. Yeah, all right, so
you get there. Twittled Dong is still there too. He's
got his feet kicked up on this tiny little stool
and it's like this little mushroom looking stool and he's
just sitting there smoking pipe and he's like, oh, hello,
welcome back. It's going to see you guys again. Dean
Smeltings like, hey, we've got our lead spy from the
Conjuration nation. He's here with us now, he's got a
report for you. This is Leopard skin Nerd and he's
a tobaxy. So mister skittnrd, could you please it's all
these guys what you've told me, And he's like, ah, yes,
I wasn't the Conjuration nation for the last six years.
And I've got to be honest, it's it is a
doozy over there. They've pulled up a lot of different
armies full of different creatures, elementals and whatnot for that
they've conjured up in even some some monstrosities that they've
been able to bring to life, some beasts and all
sorts of wild things. But it's there's not a lot
of Conjuration wizards there in the nation, but they have
the will of the people, you see, because no one
in the kind duration nation right now goes hungry, no
one struggles with food because the wizards provide free food
for everyone. So they've got a good economic system there,
and those people are willing to help support the Conjurors
with their war efforts. So these Conjurors have built up
their armies and their supplies, and they have pretty much
crowded up every border along the way, so it's virtually
impossible to get in and out of that that city. However,
mister Twiddledong here says he has a place of power
back there from quite some time ago. Twitldong says, yes,
I do.
Speaker 8: It's a pretty good one. I think you guys are
really going to enjoy where it comes out. Yeah, well,
I can take you there if that's what you want.
I heard that you can kind of get back here
whenever you're ready, if you have time to prepare a spell.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that can just shadow walk up spit.
Speaker 3: Okay, getting there would be tough.
Speaker 2: We'd appreciate the lift.
Speaker 3: What about your cart, Reddie?
Speaker 2: Hmmm? The your egg? Yeah, totd on. Can you could
you send a cart? Yeah through with us? I could.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we could probably do that.
Speaker 8: I might just have to take a little bit to
cast the portal to make it bigger.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can get a hand with ritual if you
need it. Uh, we're gonna need to make a trip
to the Famogrann to grow first. That's where the cart
and the egg are at. And is it the carts carts? Yeah,
Bill's wagon too.
Speaker 6: I don't know if you thought I was going without
my wardrobe, but you are wrong.
Speaker 2: Every one of those have either of you guys looked
at where the conjuration nation is on the map? No? Oh,
I did.
Speaker 5: I think we're prepared?
Speaker 6: I like these says, Oh I did, then, no explanation,
just I'm better than you.
Speaker 3: Oh I know where it is? We hope, So.
Speaker 2: I need some waterproof boots.
Speaker 3: Huh. Yeah, you guys don't want to prepare for the
conjuration nation it is. Well, do you remember season six
when we spent the entire time in the Gorbian Bogway swamps.
It is the Gorbian Bogway swamps.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we we actually might need to bring the
carts back here because here we've got this big lake.
See and you know what else comes with the lake
mertes Nope, fish, nope, boats. So maybe just transfer the inventory, yeah,
from vehicle to vehicle as it were.
Speaker 8: Well, just your reminder every time I open up a portal. Huh,
there's a chance that a wild magic event will happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Maybe maybe we'll maybe you know what, maybe I'll
shadow walk us to the Fae grove, We'll drive the
How how long is that of a journey back to here?
Three days? Three days? We'll drive the wagons back here.
Do that so it will be another three days. I mean,
we've got to prepare for this.
Speaker 3: This is you know, how how how wet is the
landing going?
Speaker 2: To be.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's gonna be dry as a bone. You'll be
fine when you get there. Yeah, I mean once you
go outside the building that you're going to go in,
that you'll start in because it's a place of power, right,
I'm the swamp. But you'll have to deal with some
watery ways.
Speaker 2: But all right, Yeah, we're gonna need some time, just
just a few days to get some things together for this.
Speaker 3: I think Hobbs is like, yeah, I really need to
get back to the Fami Grantit Grove too, So ok cat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's uh, I'll just I'll just shadow walk us
to the Fame of Granite Grove. That's what that's what
we'll do.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well I'll wait here. So you don't want me
to open a portal. You don't want to risk the
wild magic? Uh no, no, no, Well we'll hold off
on that. Okay, Well, whenever you're ready, I guess just
let me know. I'm gonna go hang out for three days.
Speaker 2: All right, appreciate that. Yeah, and uh, I guess if
we go to the fam of Granite Grove, I'll do
that now.
Speaker 3: And do you have any other questions for me?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah about leopard skin?
Speaker 6: Yeah, do you always land on your feet?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 3: Not to push him talking cat, because even if I don't,
I'm an illusion made. I'm an illusionist, and I'll just
make it look like I fucking do.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I always land on my feet too, that's true.
Usually usually you're the one who points it out.
Speaker 6: That's true. That's true. You always land on your feet,
and you I.
Speaker 2: Swear I fell on my ass and you're like, no,
you're standing up.
Speaker 5: You're fine, all right?
Speaker 2: Uh my arms ail. Do you have any friendly names
for us people we might be able to talk to
if we need some help we get into a tight
spot there?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's Rigly Wriggly Yep, yep. He's in a
town called Crossing, gotcha, and he can help get your transportation.
Speaker 2: Nice. So maybe we don't need the wagons, but we
still need that egg.
Speaker 3: Wasn't the wagon your place of power?
Speaker 2: You're traveling place? Oh yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna have to put it in a boat.
Speaker 3: Or turn it into a boat.
Speaker 2: Turn it into a boat a.
Speaker 5: Hmmm, should be convertible, should put some work into.
Speaker 6: Or we find a witch and we steal our walking house,
do a little good.
Speaker 5: Swamp, which find a way to shrink it down and
put it in your pocket.
Speaker 4: I'm a big fan of stew Ant Man style.
Speaker 2: I don't have Transmutation yet.
Speaker 6: I don't know Man style.
Speaker 3: That's next season.
Speaker 6: Sometimes it's gonna be heavy and sometimes it's not.
Speaker 2: Only when it's in my favor. I don't think I
have any more questions for you.
Speaker 3: Why is the Conjuration nation war? Who are they fighting?
Speaker 2: And there we go.
Speaker 3: They're allied with the Evocation Nation. They put up a
front to make sure that the Transmutation nation would not
engage at any point, so they're too the the transmutation
nations too worried about invasion from the Conjuration Nation to
try sending support over for the Abduration or Illusionation.
Speaker 2: So they're allied with them, but like not because they
want to be, just because they're scared.
Speaker 3: Which ones I don't know. So the politics, the Transmutation
nation allied with Evocation and the Enchantment nations. They're all
allied right now. And Evocation invaded two different countries, which
is the Abjuration and the Divination to keep the Transmutation
nation from engaging with the Evocation nation. In the Divination nation,
the Conjuration nation put up a wall of armies. Now
they haven't invaded yet, but their threat is so high
that the Transmutation Nation is hesitant to move to try
and help their allies. The Divination Nation, which is allowing
the evocation the evokers to just run amock.
Speaker 7: Hot, gotcha, hope Ellie's okay, I don't know who that is,
friend of ours anyway?
Speaker 2: Anything else from you, guys? I appreciate your time. Okay,
I guess Now all shadow walks to the favorite going
to grow, to New City, to the mayor's busted up house.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so you start to shadow walking. Just
as you start to shadow walk, you hear uh Leopards
getting her turn and say to Dean, He's like, I'm
surprised they didn't want to know about the dragon. You
guys are gone.
Speaker 2: We'll find out about that when we get back.
Speaker 3: Well, you don't know what you don't know.
Speaker 2: We'll find out about that when we get back.
Speaker 3: Heybe okay, yeah.
Speaker 2: Well let's go find our our our junke and hit
the trails hops. You're sticking with us, right, You just
had to check in here.
Speaker 3: No, I think I have to stay here now, I'm
gonna have to I gotta figure out what I want.
Speaker 4: To do next.
Speaker 3: I really wanted to get my bow back, though, but
Adira left. So if you it's fine, I'll find a
different magic thing.
Speaker 2: Well hopefully I don't see it in any more dreams.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, please, but.
Speaker 2: It's been a pleasure travel with you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's been really great seeing you guys too, you know.
And please if you see any dwarves, you know, let
them know you guys. Just let them know.
Speaker 2: We will, we will tell them.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Beware the cat got it? He just turns
and walks away.
Speaker 2: What are we supposed to let him know that?
Speaker 5: I'll just go with it, Okay.
Speaker 3: Our heroes will return after these messages. Hey there, it's
neat go again. If you'd like to skip the ads
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commercials are out of the way, it's time to dive
back into the foolishness.
Speaker 2: All right, Oh, let's go find our wagons.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you guys go back through town. You see,
as you're walking, you do get to where your wagon is.
There's the house that you guys have continued to ransat,
right next door to the house that you guys burned down.
And in front of the house, near your wagon, you
see a familiar face, the familiar face of Baron yon
Chai Susen Baron.
Speaker 2: Hello, yeah, we were coming to see you. Oh well
we did forget that you were here. Wonderful, Yeah we
did the thing. No, tell me more, well more, there
you are. Well see you wanted you want to make
this devil in sock?
Speaker 3: Yes, please, and we blew he stole it from me.
Speaker 2: We blew him up. And I assume he was wearing socks.
But I also assume that those weren't the ones you meant,
and that, in fact, the one you meant.
Speaker 3: Was this here, the slug shot? Slug shot?
Speaker 2: Thank you? Was this here? Slug shot?
Speaker 3: Wonderful? Thank you so much for getting it back?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I hate him with it. Listen, though, do
you think you can borrow me?
Speaker 3: You're gonna borrow it just for a while. Sure, what
do I get in return?
Speaker 2: That's not really how borrowing works. That's trading.
Speaker 3: Well, the deal was, you know, I healed you guys,
and then you'd go get me that slug shot from Magnus.
This fair trade, yep, fair trade. And now that it's here,
you're asking for an additional favor.
Speaker 2: So I just asking for a loan, is all. But
that's fine. But that's a new deal.
Speaker 3: So if I give this a loan, do I get
interest on it? Will you bring me back six pairs
of regular socks? Are you serious? Sounds like a good deal.
Speaker 2: That seems like a pretty fair deal.
Speaker 3: Wonderful. I like them to be all different materials.
Speaker 2: Please. That's a tall order, but I'll see what I
can do.
Speaker 6: Glorious Eddie, that's eleven more socks than you have.
Speaker 5: I know, but you know what, guy, sock guy did
he specify a whole pair on each one?
Speaker 3: Six pairs of socks?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, I'm moderating the slugshot.
Speaker 3: All right, you're borrowing the slug shot for an interest.
Speaker 6: When we get to the conjuration mission, the first ball
you have to learn is create sock.
Speaker 3: Yes, conjure suck of different materials. Why are we always
questioning for socks.
Speaker 6: I don't know, man, they're super value. That one time,
that one time we skipped a whole backstory over with
a sock.
Speaker 3: It's true, fair.
Speaker 6: Kidnap a whole hag.
Speaker 5: Must resist, must resist, all right?
Speaker 2: So I mean it's still like the same time of day, yeah,
which was morning, right yep. So yeah, let's just hop
in the wagons and head out.
Speaker 6: Grab some hot pockets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's read that house.
Speaker 3: I'm sure they restocked. Yeah, they have plenty of time
to restock, so I think you guys, uh, we'll probably
say thirty hot pockets.
Speaker 6: Okay, hell yeah, they fixed all the cabinets. I'm gonna
hang on this one.
Speaker 3: Oh, make a strength check, no.
Speaker 2: Laser, It just the.
Speaker 6: Hinges, my negative one strength. I fail, you feel No,
I didn't realize. I'm gonna fare all.
Speaker 5: Right, sorry, mom.
Speaker 6: Four four is a fail the natural five?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 3: So you you start hanging from it, dangling your legs.
Then you fall immediately to the ground. Uh. And on
your way to the ground, you bust through this expensive
ass glass table. Just glass shatters everywhere.
Speaker 2: Yeah, ass glass doesn't come cheap.
Speaker 3: I'm shiny.
Speaker 2: What's an example, like, Simon?
Speaker 6: Yeah, and dazzled, my best best.
Speaker 3: Just to make sure that you hurt or break something
else in this in this place, Okay, I have studded armor.
Speaker 5: Now the table make it so long.
Speaker 3: But this is a different house. You've only ruined it once.
So you've only ruined this house once. Oh it's one
next door that we burned. Yeah, yeah, we're still working
on this one. Yeah. The next door is the one
where Adra stole all the wood planks from and then
you guys set it a fire.
Speaker 6: There's been a lot of things that, a lot of
buildings that we've been to have burnt down. Yeah, I'm
just realizing.
Speaker 3: So you're not even a vokres well some of us.
Oh rag. You go to the wagon and you take
a look at your egg, and you notice that it
has shed another layer. Now it's this sea green looking
base color, right, and then over it you can see
markings along that egg that looks like seaweed growing up
from the base of the egg up towards the top.
And you know that seaweed like scattered type of sprawling design.
And so yeah, you've got that darker seaweed color over
the sea green.
Speaker 5: Wonder pressure to start keeping it in water.
Speaker 6: And make a really make the omelet.
Speaker 5: While we're going, I fill up the tub in Eddie's
bathroom with what.
Speaker 3: All right, so you guys hit the road, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hit the road. So we've got to do the
travel thing.
Speaker 3: Yep, you gotta do traveling. We need I have to
roll something.
Speaker 2: Quartermasters scout. I think I was a quartermaster.
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh no, I'm not going to be good.
Speaker 3: That era was always the driver what is what is that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: She was like the to determine if there's uh time,
or like, yeah you make it longer, it doesn't that
or something they all do. Yeah, what does the driver one?
I think they're a wisdom basically they're No.
Speaker 4: I have a plus one.
Speaker 3: It's not the worst and nothing to wisdom.
Speaker 2: So you should have been doing this and not me
all along.
Speaker 3: My plus one that's three seven, So you critically fail.
Roll again. See if you get another two, guy, I can, okay,
but you still.
Speaker 2: Got us lost.
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh I succeeded.
Speaker 6: I didn't know. For the first half of the journey.
Speaker 3: I was driving undertake a pair of thirteen. All right,
see you're good. You were scouting head looking for danger, right, yeah?
All right, So and you got a seven, Eddie, I
got a seven. That means it's the exact amount of
food that you have planned. Yes, so even though Bill
gets you guys lost and takes you down a path
that you didn't mean to go down, you were able
to ration out the food. Well, actually, I mean you
got thirty hot pockets, so it's more than enough food.
So luckily you guys, that makes sense that you were
able to ration it out better ou rag you are
able to find two small imp looking creatures hurtled over
a creek ahead of you while you're scouting ahead, and
they appear to be fighting over something, And as you are,
are you in a shape shape shifted while you're suting ahead.
Speaker 5: Usually when i'm scouting, I've got lego cat mode. Okay,
but if I see gimps, maybe I'll go, uh maybe.
Speaker 2: Just like a mist.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: So you're scouting ahead, you were a cat. You hear
some imp noises, You turn into a mist and you
go peek up on him, and they are at a
river bank fighting over something. And you see one of
the imps grab the other MP and start drowning him
in the river.
Speaker 5: Hmm, it's a shiny little circle of gold.
Speaker 3: You can't see anything except for one drowning another imp.
Speaker 5: Let's surround them as a miss just kind of whisper
into the air.
Speaker 3: All right, make your chrismas check.
Speaker 2: Ten.
Speaker 3: Ten. All right, that's a success. So he squawks, there's
something in my head. Let's go of the one that's drowning,
and the one that's drowning is something like punches him
right in the face, and then that imp goes down.
He's still us and whatnot. But yeah, they're they're not
fighting anymore, but they're both putting distance between themselves.
Speaker 5: So surrounded, you're getting between and they can both hear me.
Speaker 3: Run like, and they both grab onto this item and
they're trying to run. They're not trying to run the
other way, but they're both holding onto the same item. Uh,
trying to separate. All right, make another chrismal roll to
see if that works. Oh my god. Eleven, Oh all right, eleven.
They drop it into the creek and they just bolt
off running in opposite directions. You go to collect it, Okay,
it is just this bracelet's it's like a big thick bracelet,
like one of the really wide ones that kind of
make a giant sea around your wrist. Mm hmm yep,
and it's it's dark red, like a crimson red color? O. Okay,
do you leave it in the water?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 3: I take it? Okay, take it? Okay.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll probably have to change into something a little
more corporeal.
Speaker 3: Mm hm. So I'll go cat.
Speaker 5: Warm and just kind of grab it in my mouth
and carry it back to camp.
Speaker 3: Okay, grab in your mouth, carry it back to camp.
Speaker 2: Cut there.
Speaker 5: At this point, I'm probably just sitting there playing with
it like a cat found it in river.
Speaker 3: Jewelry.
Speaker 2: It seems up your alley.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go inspect it.
Speaker 3: Does it do something?
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna look for magical or anything. I'm just
gonna look. Do I recognize the gemal have anything that
matches this?
Speaker 3: There are no gems and there's no inscription or anything
on there that you can notice. Right away? You said
it's red colored though, yep, very crimson red red? Like
what kind of metal it this?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: Maybe make a roll? What kind of role mighty little
Soggy was a intelligence? I would assume, O, hey, that's a.
Speaker 6: That's a ten.
Speaker 3: Okay, what's it taste like?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I was chewing on it for like last half hour.
It is a metal alloy that's made with it's like
inlaid with ruby like dwarf in style, melted down like
metal and then chip just flakes of ruby into it
and then stained the metal red.
Speaker 6: Coola does that lens? We have the identifying lenses.
Speaker 2: Do they work?
Speaker 3: I don't remember what they do? They work for this.
They were for like scrying people crying on the specific.
Like you tag someone with a specific, you have to
like give them something speci uh and then you could
scry them. Hey, he does the identify thing.
Speaker 6: Hey Eddie, I want to wear this. Will you make
sure it's not going to make rain on me first?
Or do whatever horrible things that fork did?
Speaker 3: What did that fork do? The cursed fork?
Speaker 2: Spout lore? I want to spout lore about it, since
no one else has any clue. I will have a
plus one and I'm gonna like cast detect magic first, okay,
which is going to be eight, so I'll forget the
spell after, and then spout lower. That's ten on the dice.
I got a plus one and plus my intelligence out assume.
Speaker 3: Okay, So the magic you get it's obviously enchanted, but
it also has a conjuration enchantment that's intertwined with it.
So you know this is old magic, like pre pre
World break last time, right, so back before the magic
broke and they could enchant items with the same school
or with multiple schools and then spout lore about it.
So what did you roll on that ten?
Speaker 2: Uh? Ten? On the dice, it would have been thirteen.
Speaker 3: So what about lord? Dude? Do you get like specific
questions you get to ask? It's been a while.
Speaker 2: I think I get three questions with a ten? What
is it? What does it do?
Speaker 3: How can I make it do its thing?
Speaker 2: On a ten plus, the GM will tell you something
interesting and useful about the subject, relevant to your situation.
Maybe discerned realities was the role I wanted.
Speaker 3: I think desserned realities was for like your environment, wasn't it.
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, it's probably what makes sense to say I
heard or something like this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's more for the like the situation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so some thing and interesting about it, relevating,
irrelevant and interesting. You've heard a legend about a bracelet
like this way back when you were learning about magic items,
and you remember from your college days right at the
university that you had several classes where you talked about
items that were cursed and items that were not cursed,
and then you talked about items that were kind of
in the gray area where the curse really just depends
on the person's point of view. This specific type of metal,
you know, interacts with blood, so there could be the
legend that you knew about that it was a very
similar type of thing, only it was an amulet made
with the same kind of alloy, made with rubies, and
if you got blood on it, it opened up the
amulant and you were able to read inscriptions that were
on the inside that gave it magic power.
Speaker 2: It's not going to make a rain, probably, but if
you bleed on it then it might do a little
more for you. It's just this, this this type of
metal that they used when they enchant things. A lot
of times. This would hide the enchantments until you get
blood on it, so you can't tell what it does
until m do.
Speaker 3: I have to wear when I put bood on it?
Speaker 4: Maybe okay, I'll slice of finger.
Speaker 3: Grip blood on it.
Speaker 6: It seems this seems wise.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: As you do that, arcane ruins began begin to crystallize
along the top of it so that you can read them.
What did they say, Well, for those that can read magic, Yeah,
so intelligence rolls. If you guys want to try and read.
Speaker 5: It, you negative ten's a natural two.
Speaker 3: So you read it, and it does give you the
activation properties for this specific item. To activate it, you
either need the blood of the wearer or the blood
of the target. And essentially what happens is if you cast,
if you activate the amulet with your own blood or
the blood of the target, you can cause your target
to hold person for up to a minute. I won't
breathate that information now, bad stuff. If you roll it,
so seven to nine you cast it on them, they
are held, but they have a chance to roll a
save a wisdom save right to break free of it. Okay,
on a success ten or above. When you activate it,
they're held for a minute. Right, they're just held on
a fail. Your shadow attacks you mm hm, and then
you have to fight your shadow.
Speaker 2: And it's stronger for every time you spend feeding the
entire time.
Speaker 3: No, that would have been cool, though. Every time you
do that, you give it more hit points. Every time
it attacks, it has more hit points. But no, it's
just a little shadowy guy.
Speaker 2: So yeah, everybody information to Bill. So it's a it's
a nice bangle.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm still don't aware.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I assume, and.
Speaker 6: Then I'm the best vest into something that matches.
Speaker 2: It cool pointy button so you can just you know,
so you put it on.
Speaker 6: Yeah, good news.
Speaker 3: It is cursed, so you can't take it off.
Speaker 2: It didn't tell me that. That's not my fault. That's
they They put a trick on. It is what they did.
Speaker 3: That's and to be fair, I did tell you that
cursed items are just in the eyes of the beholder.
But the thing about cursed items is you can't take
them off. That look pretty Yeah, I mean you guys
know someone that can.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we know Percy. He can.
Speaker 3: I miss personal.
Speaker 2: When we get back. Actually, I want to take a
look at that scroll, see if I can find some
of the spilm.
Speaker 6: My red eyes. It's got rubies in it, all right,
developing a look here, All right.
Speaker 3: Well, I didn't have anything planned for the rest of
this journey with you guys. In fact, this whole thing
next to the river wasn't even supposed to happen in
this nation. So anyway, so at this point you guys
make it back to the first saken city, and I
think here's probably a good place to take a break.
Speaker 2: All right. Cool.
Speaker 9: This concludes this episode of a fools Quest, and join
us next time for more fun and during adventure. Thank
you for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review,
and comment on your favorite platform to listen to a
fools Quest.
Speaker 2: The other day, I was riding up the hill on
Burnham over there and a guy was riding down, and
I mean he was like my age, and he's writing
down and he's about halfway down and just let out
the wildest fucking yahoo. It's a really good hill. Yeahoo,
almost crashed because I'm smiling so hard. This is sodium wholesome.
That's really wholesome.
Speaker 6: Turns out his breaks are out.
Speaker 2: There's a stop side at the bottom, so.
Speaker 3: Well for the die, I'm gonna die happy.
Speaker 2: Yoh.