Speaker 1: A woman should look for a man that lives by
a principle, that lives by principles. He's a principal man,
you know what I'm saying. Like he stands on principle.
That's big, because you're going you're gonna see that manifest
himself in different areas of his life. He should be
a man of integrity. He should be diligent. He should
be a faithful man. So when I say that, I'm
not just speaking in terms of his faithfulness to a woman.
He should be a faithful man. Like whatever he puts
his hand to do, if he says he's going to
do it, you should see the fruit of what he
said he was going to do in his life. You
know what I'm saying. A woman should look for a
man that's driven by something that's greater than himself, right,
a purpose that's greater than himself. Before God gave Adam anything,
he gave him his purpose. Before God gave Adam a woman,
he gave him his purpose. He gave him an assignment.
This is what I want you to do. I want
you to name the animals. I want you to keep
the guard, and I want you to oversee it. He
gave him a purpose, you know what I'm saying, by
which he was supposed to. You know what I'm saying,
manifest things. And so when you see a man that
driven by purpose, and not just purpose, but a God
given purpose, because there is also a purpose that the
enemy gives us. When you see a man that's driven
by a purpose, that God gives him that purpose to
keep him when he wants to, when he wants to,
you know what I'm saying, go off track. So I
think those things are important for sure.
Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, welcome back to Dear to See a First
of all, First things first, okay, get into the dress.
He's to the party dress because you know, I'm really
getting inspired for spring. Also, like my nails are very springish,
I'm also a spring baby. Okay, April twentieth is my birthday.
Shout out to all the tours, even though I know
we're on Capricorn season. Anyways, y'all, we're going to hop
right into our subscription reminders. We want you to follow
Dear to See a podcast on Apple and Spotify. Leave
a five star review now one not two five star review.
Then we want you to subscribe to the Relationship restore
YouTube channel and my YouTube channel which is under to
see a XBS. We also are trying to get to
ten thousand subscribers. Y'all already know how I feel about this.
Let's get it rolling, Okay, ten thousand subscribers, we can
do it. I mean, maybe we should make it a
birthday gift at this point. Okay, Between now in April,
we need to be a ten thousand subscribers, and I'm
hoping we'll get there far far far before that. Look,
maybe look, maybe our Peanut Gallery guest or boostar ratings,
so get into our Peanut Gallery guests we have from
Nate with love. Y'all. Y'all know we let many men
up in here, so if the men come on dear
to see it, that means they're vetted, tried and true. Okay,
And y'all already know like Nate is a very very
very good friend to mine, so I always tell them
how I met the Pinat Gallery guest. Okay, And well
it's not really a Pinat Gallery guests, it's our real guest, right,
So how I met Nate was we did tonight's conversation
in studio in studio, and Nate was the first person
that I sat next to and we were at like
Buffalo Wower was like Buffalo Wowwing or something like that.
And it was when all the Tonight's Conversation crew was
there and Nate and I have been like locked in
ever since you got Sometimes you just know people's good
energy and when people are going to just I don't know,
like you just had a way about you, like your
first or like if you ever encountered Nate. Nate has
the softest aura where it's just like you just feel
immediately safe and protected, like you have just like a
soft safe energy. So anyway, it's now where now we're
besties locked in for life. Anyway, So this is going
to be more in depth because again this is our
real true life guests for dare to see. No penut
gallery here, okay, And so we just want to know
a lot more about Nate and just who is Nate
in this world? So what is something that you want
to people to know about you? Like who is from
Nate with love aka Nathaniel?
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure, for sure. So I would say the
biggest thing for me, I want to be known for
my heart, right, Like I think that there are a
lot of superficial things that people can be known for,
you know, things that they take pride in, you know,
financial achievements, you know, career goals. Right, I want to
be known from my heart when it's all said and done.
I want people to say, like Nate had a beautiful heart,
a beautiful soul. I love the fact that you described
me as safe, because I think that it's important for
men to be safe. And so yeah, those are some
some of the things that I want to be known for.
Thank you for having me, by the way, I love
I love what you're doing. I'm so proud of what
you what you're building.
Speaker 2: They can I talk about podcasting, life building, hell, Facebook ads, Yes, streaming,
we talk about monetization, digital products, like literally, like.
Speaker 1: We'll call each other out of the blue, like, Yo,
what you think about this and we'll just sit there
and what kind of building?
Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, but you talked about you want to be
known for your heart. How do you feel like your
heart leads you in life? Like what what are ways
that somebody that has encounter you would be able to
feel that you've led with your heart?
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, I think that's a phenomenal question. I
think it has a lot to do with the way
I move, you know, the environments that I create for
people to be able to be vulnerable, open up, you
know what I'm saying. I think that it comes across
in the way that I don't judge. I think that's
a big, big one, right because when people are battling
things and their life is easy to shut down because
you feel like people are gonna judge you, or they're
gonna you know, or they're going to ostracize you, or
whatever the case may be. I think for me, it's
just you know, creating a space for people where they
feel safe. They know that there's no judgment, there's no fear,
there's no shame. You know what I'm saying, You can
be one hundred percent yourself without having to worry about
like you know what I'm saying, how I'm gonna view you.
You know what I'm saying, I'm always gonna view people
through that lens of love. And I feel like when
we do that, we create safety for people.
Speaker 2: I think too, though, like when you really care about people,
you I think that when our friendship first started, I
think I felt like the safe, you know that safety.
But I think like when you grow a relationship with
somebody and like knowing that are like we care for
each other more. I feel like you are a little
more firm, okay, because like I have to you about
guys like yo, you gotta come off that nigga like
you gotta stop her, and it's like whoa, Okay, you
know those reals to be like, well, you call your
friend or you call like your guy friend and it's
like you tell them about some guy and it's like
that don't like you, he never liked you, he's never
gonna marry you need it. It's just like and you
don't come off strong like that. But I think that
the more safe you feel with the other person, you
are like more of a straight shooter. I think like
I've had more of like patting with you before in
our initial friendship, but now you're like, yo, nah, that's
that's not something that you want to be involved in.
I think you can be more straight too.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'll say that a part of being safe too
is being honest.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, yeah, Like.
Speaker 1: When you can when you can share with people from
an honest place and they know that you have their
best interests at heart, Like listen, I love you down,
you know this, right, So if you come to me
about a guy or a situation, I'm always gonna keep
it real with you because I love you, you know
what I'm saying. And so the part of love is honesty,
Like I'm gonna I'm gonna keep it real. And it's
all about how it's presented as well, you know what
I'm saying, Because some people present truth or honesty in
a very harsh way, and then some people present truth
and honesty in a way that's palatable for the person
that's listening. And so I always try to present truth,
but I always try to present it in a way
where the person can take it, you know what I'm saying,
Because it is possible to share truth too in a
way that you share it's like I'm not taking it
for them because I don't like the way it came across.
So I just try to I try to manage how
I how I communicate it. For sure.
Speaker 2: You know that's a great job at it as well.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: If you could turn back the hands of time, what
is a who would you repair a relationship with?
Speaker 1: And why?
Speaker 2: Like one relationship that you would go back in time
and salvage and.
Speaker 1: Why does that have to be romantic?
Speaker 2: No talking about people like.
Speaker 1: So I have two? Can I give you two? You
want me to just stick to one one?
Speaker 2: The pearly gates of heaven are open, and you got one.
Speaker 1: Uh, it'll be my father, you know what I'm saying.
You know, my relationship with my dad became strained as
an adult, right, And I had a lot to do
with his relationship with my mom and how things transpired there.
And then also you know how things transpired between my dad,
my sister and I and some of the things that
I didn't feel with fair. I think the older that
you get and me and my dad, we repaired our
relationship maybe three years prior to him him dying, and
I was with my dad today he died. But my
relationship with my doc my dad was never the same
as it as it was when I was younger, if
that makes sense, right. So we were on good turns,
but we weren't close. And the more I've evolved as
a man, the more I begin to understand his journey,
his plight, you know what I'm saying, what he was
dealing with as a man, his his struggles, his fears,
and in some ways I've seen some of my dad
and me, right, you know, I'm a man of faith,
so I you know, I live by a biblical principle,
and there is a there's a verse that says the
father bites the sour fruit, and the children's teeth are
set on edge, you know what I'm saying. And so
it's this, it's this idea that the things that the
parents deal with a lot of times the children are
affected or have to deal with the same thing. They
they bear the consequences of the things that you know,
the parent, the parent experience, and so in some ways
I see a lot of my my dad and me,
and I think it causes me to understand more of
his journey. And I'm like, man, I wish I could
just have have a few more conversations with him, you know,
Dallas so powerful.
Speaker 2: I was having a conversation with a friend who his
friend's mother passed away, and he was sharing with me
that his friend told him that he almost like felt
relief that his mother had passed away, and a lot
of it was just a course, like, you know, she
was suffering. And for somebody that has experienced a lot
of grief and experienced people taking their last breath. I
don't think we talk enough about almost like the relief
of people dying in a like non guilty kind of way.
And I bring that up because you know, you talk
about like even like having parents, like you said, well,
you bear a fruit, so like now I have to
deal with the chaos that you created in your fucking life.
And I didn't even ask to be here, right, And
so a lot of times our parents, like we can
inherit their chaos, like everybody has the same twenty four
hours And I remember sharing this with my friend Angie,
Hey Angie that lives in London, and I was telling her.
I was like, I feel so much at peace for
so many reasons that my parents have passed away, And
it was almost like I was telling her a secret.
And I'm like, why am I ashamed of that? Why
does that make me feel guilty? It's like, well, yeah,
it's death, Like death is sad, but it's also like
I think that I was, Oh, first of all, y'all,
I'm hormonal and I'm ovulating. I think that like I
was inheriting chaos from my parents, and it made me like,
honestly like relief, and it wasn't even like they were
living a terrible life, but like somebody's illness, like my
mom was in and out of the hospital like all
the time. Like my sister and I we be like
even if a family member fall said, We'll be like
did you call this person? Did you call them? Did
you ask them to run this test? It's like, why
do we know that much about the medical space? It's
because my whole family then been sick. Half of them
then passed away. And so I think that like the
older that I got and the further removed I got
from family that was bringing chaos into my life and
just literally like their life became my life's chaos, I
got like I felt better and it was like a
guilt that I had before because I'm like, well, somebody,
you shouldn't be happy about somebody dying. And it's not
that I'm happy about it, but it's like I did
live and inherit a lot of bitter fruit, baby, A
lot of bitter fruit from the way that my parents,
elder than my family, uncles and everybody decide to live
a lot of street life, a lot of death, a
lot of drug abuse, a lot of illness that I
felt like I'm heroded a lot of better fruit. And
so when those people transition and really freed up my life.
And we don't talk a lot about that because I
think people feel guilty for saying it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that's that's real. And I can and I
can tell you that, you know, being with my dad
the day that he died, you know, I was able
to tell him I forgave him for a lot of
different things. You know, we were able to you know,
when the day that he died, he couldn't really he
couldn't really talk, so he could just listen. But I
remember just telling him that I forgave him for you
know a lot of different things that that transpired. I
think now I would want him to see his son
walking in freedom. You know what I'm saying. And I'm
trying to say this without you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: But they did not a lot together. Also, m h,
I pay for this makeup to the day, y'all. I cannot.
I cannot play with y'all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I would want him to see his son
walking the freedom.
Speaker 2: What was captive about? Like what felt like captivity with
the relationship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't even you know, my dad
died with a lot of secrets. He died with a
lot of pain.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: You know me, I'm a deeply transparent guy, you know
what I'm saying. So I live in my truth, good,
bad and ugly, you know what I'm saying. I'm the
first to tell people where I've messed up and the
lesson that I've learned. I think that with my dad
there was so much male ego and pride yea. And
not only that, but there was this image that he
fought so, you know, long to maintain, and so I
think that, you know, seeing I wish that he could
see me walk in the freedom that I'm walking in now,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: But so many your father was a pastor.
Speaker 1: He was for fourteen years.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, So anyway, right right, right right, Okay, you
just knowing you you've talked a lot about fasting, getting
deep into prayer, abstaining, and really just curating a new
kind of kind of cultivating a new environment.
Speaker 2: Like why is that so important to you? And what
do you feel like, where do you feel like it's
gonna take you? What's the importance of it?
Speaker 1: Okay, so we're getting the spirituality.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just your lifestyle. Like you've really talked
about how you just you're not really outside like that,
You've kind of been more secluded, just kind of really focusing.
You've been praying a lot, getting really deep into that.
You've been you know, what does that mean?
Speaker 1: You know it's a process, but like what.
Speaker 2: What what is bringing you into that, like that little
nook and how do you feel like it's gonna benefit
your your life?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So, you know, I feel like our relationship with
God is everything, you know what I'm saying. We could
try to do it outside of that, but He's really
the source, at least for me. I believe that, And
so I find that the more connected I am to
the Source, the more fruitful I am. Right, because you know,
there's a there's a verse that that talks about being
connected to the vine, the true vine, you know what
I'm saying, Any any branch that's connected to me will
bear fruit. You will be fruitful, you know, will be
like a tree planted by the rivers of living water.
Like I really do believe that the more connected we
are to God, you know, the more direction will have,
the more fruit will bear, the more of our purpose
we can walk in. And so for me, this journey
has been about alignment, you know what I'm saying, Like
I could try to do it without him, but doing
it without him is doing it without direction, you know
what I'm saying, It's doing it without guidance. So for me,
it's about having that direction. But also I believe that
a man becomes the best version of himself, absolutely when
he submits to a higher power. Absolutely, And so for me,
this journey is about submission, right, It's about submitting to
a higher power so that I can be the best
man that God has called me to be. Like it's
that simple. And so that looks like that looks like praying,
That looks like fasting, That looks like being in divine order,
you know what I'm saying. And I think that it's
not something that we talk about enough, right, but being
a divine order is so important. And then I've talked
a little bit about out like not necessarily having a
desire to join my spirit and my soul to people
who are not in alignment with you know what I'm saying,
God's playing purpose for my life, and so that is
that is the motivation behind at least doing my very
best to stay out of somebody's daughter. You feel what
I'm saying, You know what I'm saying. And I'm not
perfect on that journey, but I'm growing and I'm evolving
for sure.
Speaker 2: I think too that when you talked about not attaching
yourself to people that are also kind of not walking
that path. And I don't think you're judge or like
a Bible thumper or you know, somebody that really hits
people over the head with that, But I think that
like when you really find yourself on that journey, you
will innately see people separating from you. It's not even intentional,
but the closer that I get to the cross in prayer,
fasting really understanding where I want to be, the the
less interested you become in like a lot of worldly things, right,
And I think that I've seen that in my own
in my own life. Like even though like you know,
it's a new year, and now everybody's like, Okay, you
got super Bowl, you got All Star Weekend, you got Afrotech,
you got Essence Festival, you got and I'm like, dog like,
I can't do I can't do the same kind of year.
But I did last year and it's not like, oh,
I'm so churchy and got first, but anybody that knows
me knows like I'm literally a church girl, right, But
I don't. It's not. That's another we have to do
with episode about that of like what people who people
think I am and who I really I really am,
Like y'all my Bible, I carry it everywhere. But I
said all that to say is that I'm not interested
in all of the other things because I feel like
you have to have anchors and roots in something, and
the more that I anchor myself and just even just
my business, like the life that I'm trying to live,
the less the more, almost like in a tornado. I
feel with everything going around, I'm like, if I'm not
having a convention, a meet and greet, a something like
I cannot run the city down this year. I just can't.
Like I don't want to be in Houston with y'all
popping bottles. I don't like I'm trying. I'm rooting myself,
like I'm not perfect, and there are some things that
I'm just like, yeah, like let's have a good time.
But man, you feel almost pressure as a millennium to
be like, okay, girl, you doing this, you're doing that
and getting your calendar down for the year. I looked
at that calendar and I said, Babe, if you think
I'm about to be at super Bowl, then All Star
Weekend then March, I forgot what it was and it
was I was like, yo', it's just not gonna happen, you.
Speaker 1: Know what it is? Though. I think the closer we
get to God, I think our appetite for a lot
of things changes, you know what I'm saying, Like, it's
just that simple. It's just like, yo, the stuff I
used to eat, I don't want that. No, it's not
good for me. You know what I'm saying. It's like
it's like when you start eating healthy, you start eating healthy,
and then you eat something that's that's unhealthy, and it's
just like, I actually want some fruit and veggies. You
know what I'm saying. I actually don't want junk food.
I actually have an appetite for something something that's good for me.
But no, I can definitely attest to the fact that,
you know, I remember one time I was getting ready
to do a show. It was a show that I
was on. I think you were on some other shows,
but you weren't on the show that I was on,
and I remember one day you sent me a prayer.
You know what I'm saying. You was just like, you know,
I'm not gonna repeat what the prayer said, but you
sent me a beautiful prayer saying, God be with Nate
as he's on stage, speak through him, Da da da da.
And that was so that was so special to me.
You know what I'm saying. I'm like, yo, Like you
know what I'm saying, Like this girl really she really
rocks with me. And there's a side of you and
we've talked about that. We've talked about this before. There's
a side of you that even the people that follow
you on social media and the people that are familiar
with your brand, there's a side of you that you
don't know. A side that's very caring, nurturing, concerned about
your friends, you know what I'm saying, Concerned about their
well being, you know what I'm saying, Always doing things
to make people understand that they are seen Like that
is so beautiful, you know what I'm saying. And I
really believe that that is the most uh that is
the most deeply beautiful part of who you are.
Speaker 2: You know why I sent you that prayer because we've
talked about just the day and you were you were nervous,
and sometimes sometimes in life like we forget who we are.
And I think even recently we've had moments where it's
just like this, like affirming of each other. And I
remember just recently you calling me very excited about something
and just like, you know, man, you ain't gonna believe
what happened. I told you you were that person a
month ago. You know what I'm saying, Like that is
one thing about me. If you could plant a mustard
sty of a dream in me, and I'm gonna be like, yo,
we gotta grow the thing out. Don't tell me your
hopes and dreams like I'm the last person. Like I'm like,
I want to put a machine behind it. Like I
really feel like that so many dreams fall on people.
And I think that you were like nervous, and I'm like,
not my friend, Like I'm like I'm the little sister,
but I feel like like I'm the youngest of my
sister now. But I feel like I love to like
just amp people up, like I'm people's biggest cheerleader, and
I had to remind you of who you were, because
as friends sometimes we just we have we I'm not
I just had this conversation with you. Well, I was like,
I don't think I did that well. I had a show,
and I was like, I don't think I did that well.
I feel like I could have done bat. I need
to work on my delivery. My ADHD is fucking with me.
I have I have to get this together. And you
were like, friend, I saw a clip of you, Like
I saw a clip. I thought I thought it was fine,
you know, like I thought it was a good clip.
And I think that like that was just like my
moment to also like bring people back to their safe space,
right And sometimes for my friends it's just like I
just endo money. Like she's like, girl, how you doing? Friends?
She's like, girl, seizonal depression, Like go get your hair done,
you know, go get your cause. I know that's gonna
help you. And I knew that just one the prayer
was my source. But also like you have to bring
your friends back to where they where their roots are,
you know, And so I had to remind you that
you like you've been You've been that person, especially when
you're seeing you know, like your friends kind of like
nervous a little bit, and I was like, nah, nah,
I couldn't. I couldn't let you go out like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Another beautiful moment, and I know you got to question
I have. Another beautiful moment was when you flew into
Dallas to surprise me at the first Heart Room and
some of the things that you said that caused me
to cry on stage, I'm like, I just be crying.
I guess whatever it gas may be. But you really
love your people, you know what I'm saying. Like you
really love your friends. You know what I'm saying. You
recently did something for the tour that we all were
on that was just a beautiful gesture. And it's just
the way you show up with people is beautiful. It's admirable.
Speaker 2: I'm the first person that's going to remind you of
who you are, you know, And like number one, I
think that one of my biggest gifts is just seeing people.
And sometimes it's not just like seeing how powerful and
great people are. It's like a lot of times when
people show up in a chaotic space, I'm just like,
it's like I see that this is not something that
you have against me, that you just you're just surrounded
by pain, trauma, wounds and things like that. And I
think I just have a true gift for like deep empathy,
and I love to reward and champion people, like that's
just one thing. And I think one of the reasons
things was, you know, me gifting a friend of mine
just like basically a cake to reward him for like
just a long tour that he had. But it's like
we both know like what he came out of and
I'm just like, man, if I didn't see anything from you,
I saw you get it out the mud and remud
get it out the mud and revamp. And the craziest
thing is that, like, because I'm on tour, I'm adjacent
to this person, Like these aren't any deep friendships or
things like that, right, But it's like I see people
and I'm like, man, I always want to remind people that, like, man,
life is worth living. Anything you said by all your
bad days, right, And that's just that's just something about me.
And I like for people to live in the present
and really and really soak in like you made it
like you you you you got through this, and so
that there's that there's that I do see people, and
I like for people to know that you are exactly
who you said that you are. Okay, let's oh, okay,
well this is go on finish the sentence. If I've
gotten everything in life wrong, one thing I got right.
Speaker 1: Is if I got everything right. If I got everything
in life wrong.
Speaker 2: One thing I did get right.
Speaker 1: Is my ability to bounce back. Well, I'll tell you
that resilience is on a thousand. You know what I'm saying, Like,
I've gone through through several seasons of my life that
should have destroyed me. You know what I'm saying, Divorce,
You know what I'm saying, reputation shattered. You know what
I'm saying, people lost faith and me I mean time
forobbing down and down broke down. You know what I'm saying,
Like my ability to bounce back. And I can't take
full credit for that, obviously, because many are the plans
of a man's heart. But you know what I'm saying,
God's purpose will prevail. So a lot of it was
in his purpose, you know what I'm saying, regardless of
the setbacks or whatever the case may be. But you
know what I'm saying, like just that ability to recover
you know what I'm saying, and recover everything. I'm not
just like not just like recover all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how did you feel like you disappointed people? Because
that's something that stood out about what you said that
you you know, it was your repids overcoming that and
you know, like you said, divorce, but also like, you
disappointed people, and I know that that's something that's near
and dear to you. How did you how did you
repair those relationships or move forward knowing that whatever those
people thought or how you let them down may have
been your lasting impression.
Speaker 1: Yeah, First and foremost, let me say that lack of
integrity is disappointing. MM. So the people that were disappointed
were rightfully they were vindicated in their disappointment. So I
think that's the first thing, Just making peace with the
fact that they have the right to feel the way
that they feel. I believe that it is possible to
be disappointed and still love people through the disappointment. I've
been disappointed by many of my friends, and I'm saying this.
I'm saying all of this for a reason. I've been
disappointed by a lot of my friends, but because they
were my friends, I loved them through the disappointment. I
let them know that I was disappointed. I let them
know where they messed up, you know what I'm saying
with love, But I continued to fight for them because
they were my friends. I think that the toughest part
for me was disappointing people who I had been there
for in some of their lowest seasons and them walking away.
I don't think that there was as much of the
disappointment me disappointing them that was painful. It was the
fact that they walked away at a time where I
was extremely vulnerable, at a time where I could have
really used the friendships, the support, so folks on, I
think that that was the most painful part. Also, lack
of integrity can cause people to view you differently, right. So,
because I lacked integrity at a certain stage in my life,
particularly out of my marriage at the time, I think
that it costs a lot of people to view me
in a different life. Right, And that's just the consequence
of poor character. Right. We've heard before that it takes
years to build a reputation and a moment to destroy it,
and so I experienced that in my life. Now, with
that being said, the fact that God literally maybe not
in the minds and the hearts of the people that
knew me closely and were disappointed by some of those failures.
But the fact that God has given me a voice
to be able to speak into the lives of people
to give hope, even for people that have had crazy failures,
crazy journeys. The fact that He's given me a platform
and an opportunity to speak into people's lives shows that
it has more to do with God's purpose than it
does my life failure. That God's purpose is stronger than
anything that I could do to mess it up.
Speaker 2: But I mean, I think we've talked about this too, man.
There are so many even for people that just don't
believe in the Bible always written. It was written by men.
But you know there's all these just for people that
may be skeptical about, you know, the Bible. I think
that there are so many redemption stories. Man. Read the
Bible like a book if you look, don't attach it
to Jesus, Christianity, religion or nothing. If you just read
the Bible like a book, there are so many. There's
so many redemption stories. Man. I'm talking about people that
they thought God forgot about. I'm talking about the thieves,
the murderers, the the adulterers. Okay, I'm talking about so
many redemption stories in the Bible. Like, man, God wants
the ones that people counted out. Man, God wants the
one that got dirt on their name, blood on their hands. Okay.
And I think that when you talk about just relationships
and friendships and holding people took a cross for their
past and mistakes that they made. Man, y'all just gone
and take a walk through the Bible about how a
lot of those people ended up being the last one
standards and got all the glory. You know.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you one real quick, real quick, real quick.
David King, David Right, King, David had that Sheba's husband killed.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Right basically took the girl, had had her husband put
on the front line, tried to conceal it, tried to
cover it up, broke all ten of the commandments in
the process of him stealing a man's wife, murdering him.
You know what I'm saying. Obviously he was judged by
God taking one of his sons, and and after that,
you know what I'm saying, Like when when when David
acknowledges his shortcoming, he said, Yo, he said, God, against
you and you alone, have I sined? Listen, I know
what impacted everybody else, but against you and you alone
have I sin. I'm remorseful, I repent, I'm sorry. David
to this day goes down as one of the greatest
kings to ever live, absolutely, and and and God literally
told him that his kingdom would reign forever. I'm talking
about when, when, when all of this is gone, it's
said that his kingdom would reign forever. All I'm saying
is that if we were looking at David through the
eyes of people, they would have said he's done.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: He lacks character, he lacks integrity. You know what I'm saying.
He's no good, throw him away, you know what I'm saying.
But God redeems absolutely, you know what I'm saying. And
so my biggest thing is, like, I'm David. I'm not
saying that I'm I'm a I'm a king whose kingdom
is going to reign forever. What I am saying is
that I'm a man that has made terrible mistakes. I'm
a man that has broken all the commandments. I'm a
man that, at a stage in his life lacked integrity.
But when when when when when your heart is turned
towards God, Like he can change your story?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Oh my goodness, absolutely.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't even mean to come on.
Speaker 2: Here and like, man, God can change your story.
Speaker 1: Change your story.
Speaker 2: He changed your story.
Speaker 1: And people don't have to like it. There are a
lot of people that don't like that. I'm in the
relationship space after I had a failed marriage. You know
what I'm saying. But the heart of the King is
in the hand of the Lord. He turns it whatever
way he wants to. You know what I'm saying, Like
it is what it is.
Speaker 2: M So you talked about your divorce right now, I
think we've already discussed like you would love to get
married again.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: What are the qualities that you think are just baseline
what a woman should be looking for in Ah it's
been particularly a man of God as their person. What
are the qualities that you feel like a woman should
be I mean, like it gotta go in the kid,
Like if you won't get nothing else, you may not
get six feet six fig or six back right, okay,
but you need you need these qualities in a in
a husband.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So God fearing and This is one that we
don't talk about a lot, but I think it's important.
A woman should look for a man that lives by
a principle, that lives by principles. He's a principal man,
you know what I'm saying, Like he stands on principle.
That's big because you're gonna you're gonna see that manifest
himself in different areas of his life. He should be
a man of integrity. He should be diligent. He should
be a faithful man. So when I say that, I'm
not just speaking in terms of his faithfulness to a woman.
He should be a faithful man. Like whatever he puts
his hand to do, if he says he's going to do,
you should see the fruit of what he said he
was going to do in his life. You know what
I'm saying. How many times have I told you I
was gonna do stuff and you like, yeah, friend, you
actually did exactly what you said you was gonna do. Right,
So he should be a principal man integrity, you know
what I'm saying? Very deep character?
Speaker 2: Can I say something right there? When you talked about
how many things have I told you that I was
gonna do? And I did, and that was something Nate
saying that to me, I think what was so admirable.
And this is why we got to the tears at
the heart room because I said, man like you are
exactly who you said you are, but you also want
a man who believes in it. When Nate, you did
it when we didn't even know people was gonna come.
You did it when we didn't know people was gonna
buy them tickets. Also, let me put this in there.
It was a sold out show. That room was packed.
It wasn't an empty seat in that room. People were
standing up on the side in the back. Okay, But
Nate put that thing together when you knew. And I
think that when you say faithful like you do the
things that you said you were gonna do and until
they come to fruition. But I mean, I feel like
the real nugget in that is that you was doing
You was gonna do it whether people came or not.
You did it off a whim, off the humble off
of just like that seed and that passion. And I
think that that is so important. And I'm telling y'all
when we talk about like our bucket lists, Amen, my
bucket list, I'm gonna talk about it one day. It's
stuff that people don't even talk about, and that this
is one of them. I like a renegade kind of man,
where he like, look, I know this sounds crazy to y'all,
but she let me see if it work or not.
That's my type of man. Like, that's my type of husband.
It's like you believe in it's so much that you
don't need no other fish to swim with you. You
was gonna do it, Nate, and I watch you do it,
and I feel like, man, that type of faith, I'm
getting emotional, Like that type of faith turns things, man,
And I don't think people realize it. Like the whole
theory of like the faith of a mustard seed. If
anybody ever seen a mustard see I have a necklace
that has a mustard seed. Literally, a mustard seed is
like a spectacle. It's it's so small, but like that's
all you need to turn things. And people don't realize
that faithful like faith will turn a tide, okay, like
you have to truly, truly believe in it. And I
saw you do it with my own two eyes. I
saw they do it with my own with my own
two eyes, and you didn't and you didn't even know.
And people say faith is taking a step. You can't
even see the rest of the stairs, but you just
keep stepping down. And like I saw you do it
when you didn't know what the You didn't know if
it was other steps, you know, if it was two
steps or ten steps.
Speaker 1: I said, listen, I was gonna do it if it
was five people in that room. But but but, and
this this leads me to the next part. And this
is this is this is for me, the last piece
of it. But but probably one of the most important pieces.
A woman should look for. A man that's driven by
something that's greater than themselves, a purpose that's greater than himself.
Before God gave Adam anything, he gave him his purpose.
Before God gave Adam a woman, he gave him his purpose.
He gave him an assignment. This is what I want
you to do. I want you to name the animals.
I want you to keep the guard, and I want
you to oversee it. He gave him a purpose, you
know what I'm saying, by which he was supposed to
You know what I'm saying, manifest things. And so when
you see a man that's driven by purpose, and not
just purpose, but a God given purpose, because there is
also a purpose that the enemy gives us. When you
see a man that's driven by a purpose, that God
gives him that purpose to keep him when he wants to,
when he wants to. You know what I'm saying, go
off track. So I think those things are important for sure.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm a tag team that just as we come
out of this segment, is that for the women, the
way that you are going to recognize men that are
not purpose driven or not purpose led, they're going to
have very low impact in your life. You ever seen
a man that you met, You didn't know this man
six eight, twelve months, nothing has changed. And I want
youry to know this is not just about finance. This
is not just somebody upgrading your lifestyle. This is about
a man that has come in and he's made you
more patient, He's made you more empathetic. This person has
like planted seeds and he wants to invest in you.
Not talking about finance, because you know, anytime you talk
about finance is a big thing. But I'm telling y'all's
so many things that are bigger than this. It's not
just finance, like this person is investing resources into you.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 2: And I think that men that are not faith led
and that don't have any purpose, you will spend time
around them, so much time around them, and nothing has
increased in your life, Nothing has increased in your life,
and you want to know why because they don't have
any purpose. Men that have purpose touching the him of
a garment, That's what it's going to feel like. Knowing
them is gonna increase and increase everything about you, right,
And men that don't have have purpose are They're gonna
feel like low impact men. It's gonna feel like I
could do this without you, like I didnet met you,
and nothing in my life has changed. But when you
find men that are purposed, it's innate to them to amplify,
to multiply, to invest, to incubate to That's a list
that's on my husband list. I'm telling you.
Speaker 1: We talk about we talk about the virtuous woman from
a perspective, it's almost gender specific, you know what I'm saying.
We talk about the Proverbs thirty one woman, But let
me talk about the virtuous man. Come on, now, let
me talk about the virtuous man. Please tell the people
when she touched the hem of his garment. What the
Jesus say? He said, I felt goodness and virtue leave
my body. Listen. As much as we talk about the
virtuous woman, and it's important, I pray to God that
a woman meet a virtuous man. I pray she meets
a generous man. I pray that she meets a man
that can speak into her life. You know what I'm saying,
that that can that can literally sow seeds into her
life that spring up into gardens. Like I pray that
a woman meets that type of man. I ain't gonna
get too much. I ain't gonna get too much into it.
Speaker 2: Our to our next episode, we're gonna we're gonna be
talking about this as well. But man, you're right, we
don't talk a lot about that. It's like, oh, when
you meet a good woman, when you you know a
happy wife, happy life, like he who finds a good wife.
But man, I'm telling you and I've experienced it. I've
experienced it, and I'm gonna tell you this, and I
tell him this to this day, like you done made
it hard for anybody to come after you, because once
you experience that type of man where they are so
purpose led and they're driven, and they're a man of faith.
It is so hard to go back to regular degla.
It is so it's painful. It's painful because it's almost
like everything with them is like a spark, right, And
it's not like chemistry and love is not what I'm
talking about. It's just like you feel. I once told
this man, I said, ever since I've met you, Yes,
when I walked out the house, I felt I walked differently.
I felt that I had so much more protection just
by encounter. I think it was only maybe a month
or two, and I felt somebody that don't even live
in my same city, I felt more protected than I
felt with a man that I've spent two three years
of my life with. And I'm telling you, when you
meet them type of man, babbit, god, blessing. Now they
say these men is like, let me take my daughter
to all vacation so she's not impressed by this, miyam,
this going to Miami with somebody's son. That's how I
feel like, That's how I felt about this, Like it's
gonna be hard to impress me after this point. And again,
it wasn't like showering of money and gifts and trips.
Even though that was a part of it, it was
like he increased everything about me and he believed more
in me than I did with Once you find out
poof once you find that virtue listen a virtuous man. Anyways, y'all,
let's go on to one of my favorite segments. I
feel like all of all my segments my favorite, but
are dear to See a voicemail and it's entitled I'm
losing myself trying to stay chosen.
Speaker 5: Dear to see You. I'm writing because I'm struggling to
understand how to say emotionally regulated in a relationship that
feels like it's shifting, and I don't want my emotions
to keep running the show. When my relationship started, everything
felt solid.
Speaker 4: We were very.
Speaker 5: Public, He was very public about us, openly affectionate, consistent,
consistent with his intimacy, holding hands, kissing, doing all of that,
and I always felt chosen. There was a lot of passion, reassurance, closeness.
And over time those things change, and I'm trying to
understand how much of that shift is about me versus
the dynamic itself. And as I become more emotionally in
that's it. I noticed that when I express my knees, frustraction, hurt,
or hold him accountable, his demeanor shifts. The affection became inconsistent.
Although our sex life has always been there, the outside
intimacy also feels conditional, more present when sex is involved,
but when or when he perceives a threat such as
another man, less present in day to day connection, and
if I don't initiate affection, especially after a big fight,
like say I love you or I'm sorry, it just
seems like the affection will not happen. I've also noticed
that sometimes important things come up to me, like family
matters or moments that require emotional accountability, and he tends
to shut down the flag or safety forgot rather than
address the impact. That leaves me feeling unprioritized and unsure
where I stand. What's hard is I know that my
emotions can sometimes escalate. I'm not perfect. I can be
very mean and say some really cruel things, especially when
I'm mad.
Speaker 2: But I hate feeling like I'm.
Speaker 5: Mean, unheard, or that he doesn't take me serious. I
sometimes can myself wants to fix the energy, say the
right things, text the right way, mentally stimulate him. If
I don't, I feel like we will drift further apart.
But I don't like the woman I'm becoming. I don't
want to manipulate or play games. I want to be
emotionally disciplined, and I want my standards.
Speaker 1: To be clear.
Speaker 5: And I want the relationship where access to me reflects effort,
not one where I'm consistently overfunctioning to keep us close.
So my question how do I get strict with myself
my standards without becoming cold, reactive, or feelful? And how
do I regulate my emotions so I'm not chasing reassurance
but also not ignoring my needs. And how do I
tell whether this relationship can be corrected with boundaries and
emotional control or whether it's showing me a deeper mismatch.
I want to grow, not spiral. I want clarity, not control,
And I want to know where I stand firmly and
what I want without losing myself in the process. Thanks
for creating a space where we can have these conversations,
and you know these conversations can be real and honest.
A woman learning to choose herself without shutting down.
Speaker 2: First of all, she wrote us a strawberry letter Okay, ma'am.
Look she said it had it scripted out. Okay, I
ain't mad at it. So before I get to the questions,
and I'll actually read over what the actual question is
because we lost track because I was very long. What
I found that was so important out of this? She
said that the sex was consistent, but everything else started
to lack. And the reason for that is because sex
is the cheapest thing that you could do, and we
do not understand that the emotional bandwidth of the man
that takes work in time and being present, being patient,
being kind, compromising, conflict resolution, showing people grace, like truly
investing in somebody, and out of all the things that
she named, she said when important things happened in her life,
when she's trying to initiate affection, she said, all of
those things became inconsistent, but the sex was the one thing.
Sex is the cheapest thing a man can do with you. Okay,
and y'all call me crazy, but if you want to
see how important a man truly is, I'm gonna tell you.
Lock it down, close the doors, all right, and you
truly are going to find out right. And it doesn't
mean that if you are having sex with him. He's
not going to be invested, right, but you want to
see whether you're going to get those things in that
deep commitment beforehand, because he's telling you that he doesn't
got he don't have the band with all the other stuff,
but he got the band with to lay down with you.
And I think that that is something that you yourself
should pull out from this. That the one thing that
was consistent was the physical intimacy, the actual act of
having sex, and that is one of the cheapest things
that a man can do with you. And on the
other hand, that can be something that truly amplifies a relationship.
She's trying to regulate her own emotional intensity and establish
healthy standards, and basically she's asking do does she feel
like this relationship can kind of be repaired? I think
a man tapped out.
Speaker 1: So let me let me tell you. The most concerning
part about everything that she said was not the nuances
of what they're going through their in their relationship. It's
the fact that when she tries to hold him accountable,
he shuts down. Right. My whole thing is, you can
fix anything if there's accountability, if there is an acknowledgment
of the fact that you know, I understand where you're
coming from, I see your perspective so far and so on,
then all the other things can begin to be worked out. Okay,
how can we how can we tackle this part of it?
How can we tackle that part of it? I think
that if you have all those things going on, and
when you try to address it, or you try to
talk through it, the person on the other end shuts down,
then it's hard to make emotional progress. It's hard to
fix anything. Yes, So the thing that I would say, right,
we could break apart all the different pieces of the question,
But the thing that I would say is they need
to get in front of someone that can help to
open him up emotionally, right, whether that's a whether that's
a therapist, a counselor a psychologist, where they can actually
begin to work on the different nuances of the relationship
that are going south. But if he's not willing to
take accountability, then you can't fix it. That's where it starts.
Speaker 2: Well, Nate and I argue on stage about stuff like
this all the time. First of all, y'all always know,
why are you in therapy with that man? This man
as a boyfriend, So that's just number one, Number two, Nate.
He started off with this kind of investment. She didn't
have these problems before. I think that women, we will
hold on like that ponytail. We will hold on for
dear life. I think that their relationship is expiring and
she doesn't want to let it go because there is
attachment issue here. The title of it is I'm losing
myself trying to stay chosen. How can I say this diplomatically?
A lot of women will get into a relationship and
that relationship defines everything that they are, and losing it
becomes an internal failure. And we had a caller call
in where she was scared to go back to her
family to even tell them that she wasn't happy in
a relationship because she grew up in a family where
all of her aunts and mamas and grandmothers was like,
you better be with that man, You better be with
that man. A lot of us women, the relationship becomes
their identity, and I think it's something so problematic about
even wanting to be chosen that deeply to the fact
that to the point that you're losing yourself as well
as as you are internalizing all of his shortcomings. So
now that she's even trying to repair it, it becomes
I don't know if it's something that I'm doing or
if it's something that he innately just has to fix
within himself. And I think that women, we've kind of
really lost our way that the relationship is. It becomes
bigger than ourselves, It becomes our title and our identity.
This is expiring. I think that the relationship is expiring,
and she doesn't want to let it go. She acknowledges
her own emotional reactions can be big, sometimes mean, or reactive,
and she wants to grow. The conflict resolution is one sided.
She holds space, he deflects or forgets. He doesn't want
to be there. Nate, he doesn't want to be there. Girling,
he doesn't want to be there. And also they say
that finances is the biggest reason for divorce, and it's
actually not. It is growing in parallel, and this is
a big thing that most people when you're hitting your
stage of evolution and you're trying to grow, and you're
in a point where you're trying to regulate your emotions,
we think we can do it with the other person,
and you can't, especially if this is a relationship and
not a marriage. That's why marriage counseling is such a
huge thing, because it's gonna teach you how to teach
you strategies for when you hit those very hard times
where y'all feel like y'all going like this, and you
married that man under God at the altar, right, Just
the relationship in itself is not something that's gonna hold
up if you have not done the work separately. And
I think that that's one of the biggest things of relationships.
You want to be with somebody that when you hit
your internal milestone. I just had a conversation with my
little my little friends, and I was telling him, like, man,
I like, I feel like I don't have the habits
of a millionaire. Like I'm saying I want to do this,
I'm saying I want to monetize. I'm saying I want
my podcast to take off. But there are things that
I have in my life that are limited to me,
and I don't feel like I have the the the
habits of a millionaire. Imagine trying to do that with
somebody else. It's either it's either a nigga that's gonna
hang with you, or he gonna hang a lot of us.
We are hitting our pivotal moments of growth, and you
cannot do it with somebody else, like I would only
imagine if I was married. That's why I'm so glad
I'm gonna save this. I feel like I got like
a ninety eight point nine to nine percent chance of
my marriage working out because I am doing so much
of the work, and I have so much wisdom and
wherewithal that when I do get there, and so currently
I feel like I don't have those habits. But I
always imagine, like what if I had a partner right
now that would either be a catapult for us to
grow stronger or a the short that broke the camel's back.
Speaker 1: You're gonna crucify me when I say that. You're gonna
crucify me when I say that. Say this, and that's okay.
When people are dating, they do everything else. What do
you mean when when people are dating, they have sex,
They they they take trips together, they around each other's family.
I think it's okay for them to go to counseling.
My whole thing is that doesn't mean that the relationship
has to work out, But I think that sometimes dating
relationships are good practice for what we're experiencing when we're
in marriage, right, and so two people sitting in front
of someone that can help them sort out some of
the issues that they're having having in their marriage. I
don't I don't think that them not being married is
a reason for them to have unresolved issues in the marriage.
I think that it's an opportunity for them to even
discover discover further that they're not for each other. Right,
Sometimes therapy and counseling can help you have that aha
moment life. He don't really want to do the work,
you know what I'm saying. And you may say to yourself, well,
he's showing her that right now that he doesn't want
to want to do the work that is possible, or
it could also be a scenario where he's not utilizing
the right tools. And so I just want to give
space for because there's some people that are in beautiful
dating relationships that if they sat down in front of
a counselor it would actually help to enhance absolutely and
grow their relationship on the way to engagement and marriage. Now,
I completely understand where you're coming from in terms of
marriage being a larger relational investment or emotional investment for
a lot of people. Right now, y'all got the same
last name. You know what I'm saying, y'all have assets together.
Y'all have you know, houses and all that stuff. Like
it's a more secure relational or seemingly secure, because I
know a lot of these marriage people still operating like
they dating. It's a more seemingly cure environment. But I
don't really see an issue with people doing some counseling.
Doesn't have to be intensive counseling.
Speaker 2: But so and I've heard and I've heard, I've actually
heard your perspective before on this.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: They that's when and that's a viral video. Listen. They
not about the same age at this big age. I'm
not going to therapy like you. And it's not that
I'm not willing to go to therapy with a man
that's not my boyfriend, but I would have had really
did an audit of that relationship to see if this
person has a potential to be my long term partner.
Speaker 1: Man, let me say something, I actually prefer to do
therapy with someone that i'm dating almost early.
Speaker 2: On, right, But you have already done like You're not
just gonna do it with a girl that you think
you're gonna date. You probably like man, but.
Speaker 1: Sometimes that's the precursor. That's what I'm saying, like, sometimes
that's a part of the process. And and let me
let me tell you, let me tell you, let me
tell you why I have that perspective. Here's the thing
about therapy, right, people always talk about like, oh, I'm
in I'm in therapy. Let's let's not even talk about
it from the perspective of relationship relationship for a second.
Let's talk about it from a perspective of someone just
saying I want to better myself and I go to therapy.
Therapy is not the real work. The real work is
are you going to do what the therapist said that
you should you should be doing?
Speaker 2: And the crazy thing is that the therapists don't really
be saying a.
Speaker 1: Lot And I'll be saying, like, you come a lot
of times, you come to your own conclusions or you
come to your own IHA moments of things that you
need to do. But my whole thing is the realization
is just the first step, right, are you going to
actually follow through? This is what I want to know
when i'm dating someone, I want to know that. I
want to know that, if the therapist gives gives directives,
or we come to an aha moment, that you're actually
willing to do the work. I want to see. I
want to see what the follow through is like. I
want to know that prior to actually getting engaged, and
I want to know that prior to getting married, because
imagine if we never walked through any of that while
we're dating, and then I discover that when we're married,
you actually don't have followed through in these areas. Now
I'm in a cyclical relationship with someone that's not willing
to do the work on a consistent basis, especially when
things get hard. I want to know that up front.
Speaker 2: I get that, and I think that being you're a man,
but I think that on the opposite side, for me,
I feel like a man. I'm always curious about what
a man would think that I would even want to
take him into a place like therapy, and I think
that sometimes I think you are a lot more evolved,
we have a lot more range. But I think that
some men only think this far right. And I think
that if I was to be like, hey, do you
want to go to therapy. I think that men don't
like to feel kind of backed into a corner, and
I think that it's so weird. I think that men
don't want to know that I feel like they're my
husband first, if that makes any sense. And so when
you say come to therapy to him, it's like, Oh,
she trying to She's trying to lock me down. And
I'm telling you that you're probably like, Okay, well, what's
the purpose of that. The purpose of that is that it,
to me, it offsets the overall aura of the relationship
on who has the most emotional investment. And to your point,
which is why I brought this up, is that I
think you can find out what a nigga's gonna do
and if he gonna do the work before you sit
down and take his ass in therapy. There's so many
ways because even what I was gonna say with this point,
I'm telling you a man, a man that lacks the
ability to resolve conflict, to me, is a man that
also lacks adoration for you. I'm telling you it's hard
to stay mad nate at a woman you absolutely adoring.
It so funny because my producer here Dre his wife
always tell me girl. Soon as I started crying DREMI like, okay, okay,
we're gonna call it true. He's gonna try to fix it.
And it's deep love and adoration of somebody that doesn't
want to actually resolve the conflict. And I personally feel like, baby,
it don't take a rocket science. It's ways to tell
that before you even take a man to therapy.
Speaker 1: Can I speak for the men for a second. I
think I think that sometimes it's less about willingness and
more about understanding how right to your point? Right, there
aren't a lot of men. There are more men that
haven't done the work than there are men that have
done the work. Right. I agree with that, and so
I'm of the perspective like, you want to know as
much as you can early on. Yeah, tell that nigga
you want to go to therapy, right and blow it
all up and see how he responds. You feel what
I'm saying. Now, Imagine you tell a man, yo, I
want us to go to therapy and he's like, you
know what, I think that's a good idea because I
really want to get to know you better, and and
I don't really know how to navigate this you know
what I'm saying, I'm dealing with a woman that I've
never dealt with before.
Speaker 2: Okay, so let me tell the danger in that we
went took this shit too far. Let me tar the
danger with that.
Speaker 1: The danger in that is saying that she's the best
woman that he's ever had, or like he feels like
she's out of his league. So let me let me
let me first say that I'm saying that everybody's different.
Speaker 2: Well, when the danger in that is that when you
start doing your life's work attached to people, you're more
prone to stay even when the shit ain't for you.
And see, women don't have the same emotional it. If
I start discovering myself, this is why the trauma bonding
is usually a woman thing, because if I start doing
my life's work with you, and I'm sitting in front
of that therapist and I'm finding that shit about how
my daddy was gone, how Mamma treated me, how I
have Alli, and I started doing with you, now I'm
gonna be more. It's a dangerous game, Nate, to really
start doing your life's work attached to other people, Because
I'm telling you, women, we just feel differently and we
invest differently, and now you're gonna start thinking that that's
your person because you start becoming a different form of
yourself while you were with them. And that is why
women trauma bond so much. And so I think it's
it's even more dangerous to try to untraumatize yourself with
somebody else, especially a man that you that you're dating.
If I started doing my life's work, where do you
think you're going?
Speaker 1: Say?
Speaker 2: If I start doing my life's work with you, right,
we get married. Period. I know why you thought you
was going because you live, you leave reminiscence with people.
Right at this age, you don't want people to leave
with those kind of big nuggets and pockets of you, right,
And so when you're doing your life's work at this point,
you're gonna we getting married.
Speaker 1: But my whole thing is like, when you're dating the
right person, there's gonna be there's gonna be that evolution anyway,
there's gonna be that, there's gonna be there's gonna be
that right and or dating the right type of person.
Dating the right type of person doesn't mean that they're
your person, but it means that yo, like, yeah, I
become a better version of myself as a result of
the things that I learned in the relationship, as a
result of being connected with you. You know what I'm saying.
And so oh no, I think, I know, I know,
we got there. I know we got different perspectives on that.
Speaker 2: But they said, they said, go to therapy with the men,
test them. We'll see, we'll see. Okay, boy's my number two. Okay, perfect, perfect, Okay.
So this is funny because this is actually my Bitch
you Smell Good segment where y'all know I love fragrances. However,
Nate is allergic to a lot of fragrances. So instead
of our fragrance today, I want Nate to open this
bag that I have on the side of him, because
that's yeah, okay, but so Nate has you know, it
could go left, it could go right with fragrances for him.
So instead of having him spray all of that, I'm
going to have him open this gift that I have
for him.
Speaker 4: Here you out here buying folls, gifts and stuff. Let's see,
you got me some sneakers.
Speaker 2: They love sneakers.
Speaker 1: I do love sneakers. She'd be looking really really, she'd
be looking at my feet like niggah. I appreciate this
so much. Love. I love the colorways too because it
can go with so many different things. Thank you so much.
That is so kind to you. Listen, she out here buying, buying.
Speaker 2: So yes, that's our segment, because Nate, you can't be
spraying spraying oh here when they want him having no
allergic reaction out here. Okay, So that's it right, We're
not doing our red flag okay. Perfect. Anyways, so much
concluse our segment of there to see you. Thanks Nate
for coming on.
Speaker 1: Man, it's been a pleasure. You have me over here
crying again.
Speaker 2: Five minutes he we both crying, y'all.
Speaker 5: Boy.
Speaker 2: Anyways, y'all see y'all next time.
Speaker 5: Bye,