Speaker 1: Our nine news luggers. You need to know the stories.
Speaker 1: It fell through the cracks. I mean, with all the
Speaker 1: tariff talk and all the.
Speaker 2: It on, give me all the dirty nuggets.
Speaker 3: Here is our Honorable Mention.
Speaker 1: Honorable Mention, not honor serving with you.
Speaker 4: A great and honorable modes.
Speaker 5: So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member
Speaker 5: of Honorable Mention. I saw Tom Cruise movie like this,
Speaker 5: So did jem UK government developing a murder prediction program,
Speaker 5: which it hopes can use personal data of those known
Speaker 5: to the authorities to identify the people most likely to
Speaker 5: become killers.
Speaker 2: Here's what you do. You just hire a bunch of women.
Speaker 1: We could tell you just check out their social media
Speaker 1: profile exactly. This was basically the plot of the movie
Speaker 1: The Minority Report.
Speaker 2: Oh is it right? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Okay, but they there. I got a lot of movies
Speaker 5: to watch. Data Minority Report.
Speaker 1: Data from people not convicted of any criminal offense will
Speaker 1: be used as part of this project, including information about
Speaker 1: potential self harm, details relating to domestic abuse, et cetera.
Speaker 1: Officials have strongly denied it, saying only data about people
Speaker 1: with at least one criminal conviction would be used.
Speaker 2: Would you put around here on the on the on the.
Speaker 5: List of people that are likely to kill if you
Speaker 5: had to pick one person on this floor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think Keana has it in her. She totally
Speaker 2: cut you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she would go like almost all the way like
Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't want to heart that.
Speaker 5: That was the first thing I realized about Kean, and
Speaker 5: that's the first thing I really fell in love with,
Speaker 5: was like, she will cut you, and I like that
Speaker 5: in a person.
Speaker 1: That's the central valley in you right there, that's right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: since they used to call it valley fever, but that's
Speaker 1: more of an infection. No, her valley fever's all in
Speaker 1: her brain.
Speaker 2: Anything like spores? Is that what you're like? Infection? Is
Speaker 2: that what that is? All fever is an infection? Sports? Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh number nine, number nine.
Speaker 4: I did ninth place. If a CoP's Dirty nine times
Speaker 4: out of tennis partners thirty.
Speaker 2: Two and I speak nine languages nine basically everybody at
Speaker 2: table nning.
Speaker 1: I feel ready to go another nine?
Speaker 2: And niner? Did I get check niner in there?
Speaker 1: Where you're calling from alwalkie talkie?
Speaker 5: This is funny. I feel like the joke has been
Speaker 5: made now. I feel like, this is like a nine
Speaker 5: year old joke. Fitted sheets right and how to and
Speaker 5: how to fold them?
Speaker 2: I still struggle.
Speaker 5: I know that there are ways to to fold a
Speaker 5: fitted sheet, and people have sent me the tutorials.
Speaker 2: We even have a book, the Folding Book.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that has a whole thing on on the fitted
Speaker 1: sheet fold.
Speaker 2: I'd rather just struggle.
Speaker 5: I've realized that there are people who would rather just
Speaker 5: struggle with a fitted sheet, and on one of them.
Speaker 2: I almost feel like if you did learn how to
Speaker 2: fold a fitted sheet, you'd keep it to yourself. Yes,
Speaker 2: it's really serial killer behavior. You end up on that
Speaker 2: kill list.
Speaker 5: A huge crowd in Wellington has is this New New Zealand. Yeah,
Speaker 5: has gathered to watch a man fold a fitted sheet.
Speaker 2: Now he's comedian.
Speaker 1: He is a comedian. He was doing it as sort
Speaker 1: of a performance art piece. He's I guess doing shows
Speaker 1: in Melbourne, Australia and Wellington, New Zealand. And he had
Speaker 1: seven hundred people show up to watch him fuld a
Speaker 1: fitted sheet.
Speaker 2: Here's number eight.
Speaker 4: A cloud is bold every eight second listening to eight
Speaker 4: different bosses drawn on about mission statements.
Speaker 5: There was a nine to one one caller in Chatta County, Georgia,
Speaker 5: who had a hard time getting through dispatchers when he
Speaker 5: thought someone was breaking into his home.
Speaker 1: Well, Dylan's wife called him while he was at work
Speaker 1: and she thought that someone was snooping around the house.
Speaker 1: So he calls the non emergency line for the sheriff's department,
Speaker 1: which they don't answer, and then he called nine to
Speaker 1: one one three times when he finally got an answer
Speaker 1: at nine point thirty one. He said, about three minutes
Speaker 1: into the call where he's explaining what's going on, he
Speaker 1: heard the dispatcher talking to others around her and ordering breakfast.
Speaker 2: It sounded like this, mm hmm mcgriddle. I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: What now everybody knows when you're at work and you're hungry,
Speaker 5: and everyone decides on where to get food from, and
Speaker 5: suddenly the excitement level and the hunger level exponentially increases.
Speaker 3: It's hard not to pay attention to.
Speaker 5: It's real hard got to make except when you're a
Speaker 5: nine one one dispatcher. That should be the accept category, right,
Speaker 5: air traffic control and nine one one dispatches should be.
Speaker 3: Here's number seven, the seventh son of the seventh son.
Speaker 4: We're on with seven days, we would have gone on
Speaker 4: a secter seventh seven.
Speaker 2: Eight seven years of college done to trade.
Speaker 1: Seven seven seven days?
Speaker 5: Well, who hasn't wanted to upload a teenage girl?
Speaker 1: Missouri Department of Social Services is investigating a foster mom
Speaker 1: in Lincoln County, Missouri, facing multiple charges of abuse. They'd
Speaker 1: been called to her home two hundred times. Those calls
Speaker 1: included witnesses accusing the Brenda Deutsch, seventy years old, of
Speaker 1: trading a teenage girl in her care for a monkey.
Speaker 5: Pet monkey doesn't talk back, Pet monkey doesn't sassya.
Speaker 2: That is very true.
Speaker 5: Pet monkey does what it's told. Pet monkey doesn't run
Speaker 5: around with boys.
Speaker 2: That's why you are not in the foster care system
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 5: I'm glad you said right now, because I had a
Speaker 5: wonderful foster fan.
Speaker 3: No, no, I mean you're also not a foster parent.
Speaker 2: Right Yeah, that sounds like a good recipe. Here's the
Speaker 2: number six. I got six, You got six, She got six?
Speaker 3: Number six.
Speaker 2: There's six more weeks of water?
Speaker 1: What you picture of me?
Speaker 3: Rabbi and six drunk and longshom?
Speaker 2: Why we just dig in a nursing home closer to USh.
Speaker 4: I don't have to gotchick dad drink another six pack.
Speaker 1: Here's one of your D rated restaurants. A Chinese restaurant
Speaker 1: in Madrid has been shut down for the roast duck
Speaker 1: on its menu. Forced to close last month, police found
Speaker 1: a pair of these roast ducks finger quotes here in
Speaker 1: a secret storage room alongside bags of unknown meats. Authorities
Speaker 1: took sample of the meat and confirmed that those finger
Speaker 1: quotes roast ducks were in fact street.
Speaker 5: That's why you don't have a menu. They got in
Speaker 5: trouble because they called it roast duck on the menu.
Speaker 5: Don't have a menu. That's why I went to the
Speaker 5: place in Chinatown with the D on the window where
Speaker 5: you just point to the picture.
Speaker 2: It's all false advertising.
Speaker 1: My favorite Vietnamese restaurant that we would go to when
Speaker 1: we were brand new, Married Cup in Sacramento, Cafe Bobo
Speaker 1: or Bobo Cafe, whichever way you would walk in. The
Speaker 1: guy would hand you a menu and you would start
Speaker 1: looking at it and he would hit it out of
Speaker 1: your hand and say, I order for you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the kind of place to go to. Was
Speaker 5: that an Atomas.
Speaker 1: No, it was over by the old air for there
Speaker 1: was a little how about arden kind of area.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, number five for five. I have five rules.
Speaker 2: We begin bomb five minutes five. This is the year
Speaker 2: five point five. Five would be a favorite. Loose five
Speaker 2: pounds immediately.
Speaker 5: Is there anything better on a flight? I would say,
Speaker 5: a two plus hour flight. Is there anything better than
Speaker 5: a can of pringles? I would say, nay, nay, there
Speaker 5: is not. I love a can of pringles on a flight.
Speaker 2: Okay, but you got to pay for him. But I
Speaker 2: get it. It is all I'm saying. Okay.
Speaker 1: So Anne Marie Murray, fifty five year old woman on
Speaker 1: a flight from Tenerife to Bristol in March and of March.
Speaker 1: She ordered pringles, water and a coke, which came to
Speaker 1: just seven dollars and sixty four cents.
Speaker 3: That's a great deal, is this spirit?
Speaker 1: However, she was unable to pay as the in flight
Speaker 1: card machine failed to process her payment.
Speaker 2: She had no cash, so.
Speaker 1: She was escorted off the flight by police. When it's
Speaker 1: l oh my god.
Speaker 5: It was Ryanair, which is basically the budget the budget
Speaker 5: line over there.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's awful. She just what let the lady have
Speaker 2: her pringles?
Speaker 3: She said, I thought it was a joke.
Speaker 1: When the crew said they called the police, I was
Speaker 1: shocked when they came on board and we were asked
Speaker 1: to leave. It was so embarrassing. I tried everything I
Speaker 1: could to resolve It.
Speaker 2: Is ear a more Irish name than Anne, Marie Murray
Speaker 2: and Marie Murray. Ann Marie Murray wants her pringles number four,
Speaker 2: Poor minette. It's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by now.
Speaker 2: Comment number four. This isn't the same world you left.
Speaker 1: Four years ago. So Maria Fradigo took her pet parrot
Speaker 1: in a case to Puerto Rico with her. That sounds
Speaker 1: fine and it's not the beginning of a joke, but
Speaker 1: this eighty one year old woman went through a travel nightmare.
Speaker 1: She now says that she wants to go back to
Speaker 1: New York City on the same airline, but that they
Speaker 1: won't let the parrot fly home with her. She said
Speaker 1: her emotional support animal, Plucky, has been inseparable for over
Speaker 1: two decades since they were since the parrot was born,
Speaker 1: and now eighty one year old Grandma Maria from the
Speaker 1: Bronx are stranded in Puerto Rico, as she says, because
Speaker 1: of what the airline did.
Speaker 2: Good Lord, let the woman have her parrots. Why would you.
Speaker 5: Lucky that's a stupid name. Agreed, But you named your
Speaker 5: dog Peter.
Speaker 1: Here we are, Yeah, but that's not You wouldn't pluck
Speaker 1: a You wouldn't plucking a bird is like the worst
Speaker 1: thing you could do to a bird?
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 3: Did you do that before you eat them?
Speaker 5: Is there also care and maintenance that involves plucking feathers?
Speaker 2: They do that themselves.
Speaker 1: They've been maybe that for quite a long Maybe that's
Speaker 1: that's what the parent did when it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Maybe, so then maybe it's not as nefarious if one believes.
Speaker 2: Oh, maybe you're right. Here's number three.
Speaker 1: Three shall be the number that count and the number
Speaker 1: of the counting shall be three.
Speaker 3: Were dead within three hours.
Speaker 2: Three security clearance level three, all three of three.
Speaker 3: I got all three of you guys, for the rest
Speaker 3: of your name.
Speaker 2: Be born live. After that three days, they both start
Speaker 2: to stink.
Speaker 4: Three.
Speaker 5: I just want to say that I want to be
Speaker 5: on the record saying I love the name of your dog.
Speaker 2: I love that you named your dog Peter, but you
Speaker 2: just said you didn't it was a lie. I love that.
Speaker 2: I love real names on.
Speaker 1: There is a TV commercial right now, I think it's
Speaker 1: for a dog food where they refer to the dog
Speaker 1: and the commercial as Peter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. I think it's great. Somebody listens
Speaker 2: to the show.
Speaker 1: A Nevada man arrested this week after seven tigers were
Speaker 1: seized from his home. He said they were his emotional
Speaker 1: support animals under Sam, that he was.
Speaker 3: Living in parump Is that where all the hookers are?
Speaker 5: Yes, that's what hookers and tigers And Mike Tyson number two?
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 4: You two?
Speaker 2: We two things?
Speaker 3: One there's two sons and no women?
Speaker 2: Who ringing?
Speaker 1: So five forty four was the time that you texted
Speaker 1: this headline to me this morning.
Speaker 3: And I'm only going to read a headline. That's all
Speaker 3: we need to know.
Speaker 1: This is the text or the title of the article
Speaker 1: that you texted with the greeting good morning quote. The
Speaker 1: anus may have evolved from a whole originally used to
Speaker 1: release sperm.
Speaker 3: There's number one.
Speaker 1: We're number one, number one, We're number one, Benn, number one?
Speaker 2: Are you the number one?
Speaker 5: Row?
Speaker 2: Number one?
Speaker 1: Number one?
Speaker 2: Number one? Okay?
Speaker 5: So New York apparently has such a problem with people
Speaker 5: having sex with dead people and its trains.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 5: The latest insignt instance is a cause for investigation. There
Speaker 5: was a man seen on video performing sex acts on
Speaker 5: a corpse on a subway in New York.
Speaker 2: And here's the thing. It's a crime of opportunity.
Speaker 5: It's not like somebody, it's not like people are into
Speaker 5: having sex with dead people on trains. It's just if
Speaker 5: the opportunity presents itself, there is a segment of the
Speaker 5: population that's going to take that opportunity.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, that's the world we live in.
Speaker 1: They believe the body was on the train for hours before.
Speaker 1: Oh so it wasn't fresh violated by this person tried
Speaker 1: to perform various acts upon the body.
Speaker 5: Like what what various acts?
Speaker 2: What are you going to do? I don't know, all right,