Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud. You've missed Kinsman and Mike
Speaker 1: benue Road. I've seen the way you've been looking at
Speaker 1: those cuffs you behave. Oh hello, welcome to Chewing the Cuds.
Speaker 1: I don't trust you. What do you mean don't trust
Speaker 1: I really just don't trust you. Don't give me those
Speaker 1: innocent looks. I'm innocent, yeah right, I'm innocent until proven guilty.
Speaker 1: I believe that if you must. What have you got
Speaker 1: for us today, Mike, I don't need to believe. It's
Speaker 1: the way the law system works in this country.
Speaker 2: But I have a story about how a dead relative
Speaker 2: can help you at the bank.
Speaker 1: And then I'll get all creative in crafty Queens. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: and we're going to have a game to play in
Speaker 1: our Game of the week. But it's on screen now.
Speaker 1: You can see our social media contact in folk.
Speaker 2: Just look for at the cut TV and the names
Speaker 2: of people who have bombled into our old Internet go
Speaker 2: along the bottom of the screen.
Speaker 1: We'll go over to mist and the show is it's
Speaker 1: that a bit warm? Well, you said two pods.
Speaker 2: Two pods, not two pods, and then just let it
Speaker 2: keep running for six weeks.
Speaker 1: Tank into one cup. Well, I wanted you to be sustained.
Speaker 1: You found your stories yet I have. Could you tell
Speaker 1: her it was storing? Yes, so the first story we
Speaker 1: have about that long store warts celebrity been around for
Speaker 1: eight absolutely ages and really garnered a lots of respect.
Speaker 1: Jojo s okay, Yeah, why do I why do I
Speaker 1: sense that you're not a Jesse? I mean, who is she?
Speaker 1: She's family, she's family. You related to Joe Juicy Wang? Yes,
Speaker 1: I know, she's one of ours. Yeah, so I suppose
Speaker 1: we should. We'll give her some time. With some time, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm about to so she's going into pop music and
Speaker 1: entering well you know when a child star is never
Speaker 1: toably wanting to get a longer career and grow up
Speaker 1: a little bit. So they start doing oh I'm so
Speaker 1: sexy and off that. Yeah, not porn, but you know,
Speaker 1: just trying to be a bit salacious and sexy and oh,
Speaker 1: I've gone off all off the rails. She's doing that
Speaker 1: because I've actually gone off the rails. I don't think
Speaker 1: Brittany was putting it on. I don't think Brittany was
Speaker 1: putting it on. And I think the way Miley Cyrus
Speaker 1: was hyper sexualized and had a bit of a bite
Speaker 1: to it to say, how dare you say? I can't?
Speaker 1: And she's deaf following that mold. Ok, but it's Jojo see.
Speaker 1: So they're still kind of like she's putting on like
Speaker 1: do you remember the band Kiss, I'm aware of Kiss. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So she's doing all that makeup and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: but still got there. There we go, look at her
Speaker 1: with all the hair are still done up though, and
Speaker 1: it's just it's very much drawn on. She's happy, that's
Speaker 1: what matters. Yeah, I suppose I give her that, but
Speaker 1: she's I think probably what irritated me about it is
Speaker 1: because as part of this era after releasing Karma, which
Speaker 1: is a big song that she's done the video for
Speaker 1: that's full of hyper sexuality in terms of trying to
Speaker 1: kiss girls, which okay, great lesbianism, lovely, but it's they're
Speaker 1: not quite kissing. So it's a bit more feels feels
Speaker 1: more like straight titilation rather than gay rights.
Speaker 2: It's more alongalis of too Yeah, lesbians, I love, we're
Speaker 2: just stroking each other gently.
Speaker 1: It feels less for the community and more about selling. Basically. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's how it feels to me, and what's really capped
Speaker 1: it for me where I've got a bit of a
Speaker 1: she's saying that she's the inventor of gay pop. Someone
Speaker 1: get Kylie on the phone, a rasier, you know, maybe
Speaker 1: maybe they might want to have a word for a
Speaker 1: pet shop boys. Yeah, I mean, even going further back,
Speaker 1: really goes to Hollywood. Yeah, Noel Coward. Could Noel Coward
Speaker 1: give give her a little bit of a call. Well no,
Speaker 1: he did quite some time, well, you know, on the Ruezia.
Speaker 1: But she's also getting into beef with other people who,
Speaker 1: honestly I don't know who the hell they are. A
Speaker 1: sixteen year old rapper called Little Tay, Little Tay Little
Speaker 1: do you know who Little Tay? I have no idea who.
Speaker 1: Little Tay is, a quite young rapper. Apparently she doesn't
Speaker 1: have any idea about who Jojo See where is either.
Speaker 2: Well it's well yeah, apparently there's some backup it.
Speaker 1: Honestly, it's just really tedious. You could if you look
Speaker 1: at Twitter rather the next yes.
Speaker 2: Will continue to dead name it until Elon Musk stopped
Speaker 2: dead naming other people.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So yeah, they're arguing back and forth and
Speaker 1: it's just all very I mean, apparently karma is not.
Speaker 1: Apparently one of Miless Cyrus's refuse songs.
Speaker 2: Refused something like refuse. I'm here to be a song
Speaker 2: you are refuse.
Speaker 1: Well, it didn't make the cut for Miley, so JoJo's
Speaker 1: taking up. Apparently there's another version of it by somebody
Speaker 1: called Britt Smith. They had an unreleased version of it,
Speaker 1: and now they've released that version and that's out selling JoJo's.
Speaker 1: Let's move on from that and go on the dor
Speaker 1: pre Full fashion show. Okay, now it's a bit of
Speaker 1: a step change for you, is little.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm very fashionable, says the man who before we
Speaker 2: came on said I should wear my other outfit, but
Speaker 2: the other one is all black.
Speaker 1: There is a difference, and if you understood fashion, you
Speaker 1: would understand.
Speaker 2: The ninety nine point you're wearing now an all black
Speaker 2: or wagon color sat there like Joseph is technical dream coat.
Speaker 1: There's a technical difference, and yes, just don't appreciate these
Speaker 1: things anyway. Sometimes it's not about the fashion at these events.
Speaker 1: It's more about who's sitting on the front row. Okay,
Speaker 1: and sitting on the front row this year we have
Speaker 1: felt No, they're dead interesting, it would be interesting. No,
Speaker 1: it's an actress, know me, what's no idea that lady there?
Speaker 1: Oh no, I watched it. Yeah, yeah, out. It's not
Speaker 1: just that Nami Watts is there, is that she's also
Speaker 1: brought along her daughter, Okay, Kai Schreber now Kai Schreeber
Speaker 1: is a transsexual, and she brought her along to sit
Speaker 1: on the front row of the fashion show and was
Speaker 1: visibly beaming to support Kai being there. And they've been
Speaker 1: supportive of all the way through their journey. Their father
Speaker 1: is Leave Schreiber, that Turin director. Honestly, I do think
Speaker 1: that he's possibly topped the taking the daughter out to
Speaker 1: great events back when they were eight rather than they're
Speaker 1: fifteen years old now. Okay, back when they were eight,
Speaker 1: they took Kai to comic Con dressed as Harley Quinn
Speaker 1: from Batman. Okay, so even at that young age, supporting
Speaker 1: like dress up, however, you want to be in and
Speaker 1: work along.
Speaker 2: So you've just you've gone very over here, You've gone
Speaker 2: very over here.
Speaker 1: It's just a bit I just want to make way
Speaker 1: for the picture. You don't need to make way for
Speaker 1: the picture. It's a wide angle. It's not that white
Speaker 1: wireless before. But yes, it's they're very a couple of
Speaker 1: very supportive parents, lovely debuting their daughter beautiful and they
Speaker 1: have debut debutante balls anymore.
Speaker 2: Well, they do still have a debute thing, but it's
Speaker 2: not as big coming out.
Speaker 1: We kind of still your Yeah, so it's that coming
Speaker 1: out balls and stuff.
Speaker 2: It kind of fades off, but it's still it's still done,
Speaker 2: like finishing school still exists.
Speaker 1: But it's just it's just nice to see supportive. And
Speaker 1: they're not even together anymore. They split up quite a while,
Speaker 1: but cold parenting. Yeah, so even better. Last, but not least,
Speaker 1: Billie Eilish, she's a bad guy. She is a bad guy.
Speaker 1: She's going to be coming out with her third studio album,
Speaker 1: We Do Like h Well, it's due for release on
Speaker 1: the seventeenth of May, but she's like trying to keep
Speaker 1: it quite hush hush and not try to release any
Speaker 1: singles beforehand. Okay, and last November she kind of put
Speaker 1: it out there that she's one of us, I believe,
Speaker 1: she said, I thought it was obvious, Yeah, she said, yeah.
Speaker 1: She said that physically she's attracted to women, but she's
Speaker 1: so intimidated by them and their beauty and their presence,
Speaker 1: and she just didn't realize that people didn't know I
Speaker 1: like a presence. So she's been at Coachella, okay, and
Speaker 1: trialing some of this new music, and of course somebody
Speaker 1: in the audience has recorded it and released it. So
Speaker 1: whether she wants to keep it under wraps or not,
Speaker 1: that's not going to happen.
Speaker 2: I think that's a very clever way of releasing music
Speaker 2: because Madonna did that. I don't want anybody to download
Speaker 2: this song and released it and let people download it,
Speaker 2: then had abuse in the middle of the song.
Speaker 1: Well, if people were confused about her being a lesbian,
Speaker 1: they won't be after this next track. It's called lunch okay,
Speaker 1: and I would read out what the lyrics are. Read
Speaker 1: out the lyrics. No, I'm not going to they are
Speaker 1: actually filthy. They're filthy, are the lyrics.
Speaker 2: They're just I could eat that girl for lunch as
Speaker 2: she dances on my tongue, tastes like she might be
Speaker 2: the one, and if I can never get enough, I
Speaker 2: could buy her so much stuff.
Speaker 1: It's graving, not a crush. That's quite sweets. It's very explicit.
Speaker 2: It's not saying I want to stick me f leminge
Speaker 2: and rummage around.
Speaker 1: Like that's exactly what it's saying. No, it's she said
Speaker 1: I could, I could, So it's got the parent I could.
Speaker 1: That's what makes it romance. Why have you got the
Speaker 1: BBC news on here? Oh that's not the BBC and
Speaker 1: that's the end of the show Bus News. Thanks Mike
Speaker 1: stick around. I don't even think that's possible. Behave when
Speaker 1: you're going to ruin my browser history. This is your
Speaker 1: browser restaurant, looking at stick around as Next, it's Mike
Speaker 1: in the Buzz. You're watching Chewing the Card with mister
Speaker 1: and Mike. Now let's go into the dank, poorly lit,
Speaker 1: disgusting parts of the web where Mike likes to go
Speaker 1: rummaging around. It's Mike and the Buzz.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I was I was honest. Should we say a
Speaker 2: social networking application.
Speaker 1: I know exactly what you were up to. What do
Speaker 1: you think I was up to? Filth? Not quite filth,
Speaker 1: arranging film arranging filth.
Speaker 2: Because because like it or not, Grinder is here as
Speaker 2: part of our lives.
Speaker 1: Well for those of us who have success with it. Yes,
Speaker 1: what do you define as success as in getting your
Speaker 1: rocks off? Yeah? Your own watching.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Grinder is trying to move away from its somewhat
Speaker 2: s a baser level and tried to become more of
Speaker 2: a community.
Speaker 1: Okay, isn't it just about gang bangs?
Speaker 2: So Grinder back of it wasn't a hook up ap
Speaker 2: It actually started off as a finding local people and
Speaker 2: it's aiming at relationships as well.
Speaker 1: Why the hell did they call it grinder? That's really
Speaker 1: only going to be one thing unless you're into metal work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it got should we say, we took the
Speaker 2: name and went we're going to make it this as
Speaker 2: a community at large and destroyed actual dating.
Speaker 1: Talk about nominative determinism. Are your middle name is anyway? Fisted?
Speaker 1: So they bring out something that they're calling gighborhoods.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So on Grinded they have the app way,
Speaker 2: the thing where you can change the location. Say I'm
Speaker 2: going to be going to I don't know, let's say
Speaker 2: somewhere in France, and you can have a look at
Speaker 2: the people around France and.
Speaker 1: Go, do I still want to traveler? Is the talent?
Speaker 1: Can I get laid? But it doesn't show you there? Mkay?
Speaker 2: Well what they want to do is do more of
Speaker 2: a If you change a location to there, it will
Speaker 2: show you at that location as well.
Speaker 1: So a bit like Google Maps with cock, a bit.
Speaker 2: Like Google Maps with cock, a bit like scruff have
Speaker 2: been doing for years with the whole I'm visiting this
Speaker 2: place right, but like other apps, let you do anyway,
Speaker 2: just going on that band Dragon now, okay, because they
Speaker 2: think that they if they let you see people at
Speaker 2: all the locations, it's going to help you build relationships
Speaker 2: with people in different parts of the world with different
Speaker 2: viewpoints and make it more of a community based app. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm just going to get dick from other parts of
Speaker 2: the country. I'm going to deciding where I'm going on
Speaker 2: holiday based.
Speaker 1: On what I can get. Way only used going to
Speaker 1: when I'm traveling. I don't use it at home anymore.
Speaker 1: That's not for years completed Manchester. It's not Pokemon Go,
Speaker 1: you know, Pokemon Gay pokem Gay. It is helps you
Speaker 1: get your steps in. It's its location at geospace. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you have to swipe a lot. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: wait the screen let's say a screen aggressive fingering. But yeah,
Speaker 1: they're moving much toward Oh sorry, use loop.
Speaker 2: But it's like they're trying to move away from just
Speaker 2: this thereedy underbelly that they have and go much towards
Speaker 2: like creating a space.
Speaker 1: It's not really an underbelly, is it. It's the bold
Speaker 1: bear face brass of it, isn't it exactly? I mean
Speaker 1: that the image is a mask. Actually, now I look
Speaker 1: at it, it does look like it looks it looks
Speaker 1: like Groot in a sex dungeon. I am group, I
Speaker 1: am Groot, I am groop. It's very niche porn. But
Speaker 1: so you never have to I never have a problem
Speaker 1: with getting wood for you. Sorry, don't worry.
Speaker 3: Moving quite on. Do you know what shooty bump pain
Speaker 3: is m an indelicate lover.
Speaker 2: No, So it's described as a sudden cramping mhm. Okay,
Speaker 2: and like a severe like jabby pain. Okay that everyone
Speaker 2: can get, okay, not just the case and days, right.
Speaker 1: But that happens to me when I see somebody like
Speaker 1: you know, when you see something you really really like
Speaker 1: and your botbom twitches. M h.
Speaker 2: It's it's not twitching, it's winking, well for you, winking.
Speaker 2: So doctor Sunge from all Right has basically said that
Speaker 2: what is called the the pain.
Speaker 4: In the pool pipe, the pain in the pool pipe,
Speaker 4: the pain in the pool pipepe pain is called a
Speaker 4: prox lager, flu lex, proc log poo flex, Yeah, putroctal.
Speaker 1: Physical pain in the ass. I've met some pains in
Speaker 1: the ass.
Speaker 2: A physical pain in the ass, not just someone right,
Speaker 2: and you get a shooting pain in the backside, it's
Speaker 2: actually the inside sphincter spasming very quickly and he causes
Speaker 2: a pain sensation. And so he says is if you
Speaker 2: ever are having a sudden, sharp, shooting pain in your
Speaker 2: bottom and your trousers are on, the key thing to
Speaker 2: is relax. Okay, maybe give your bottom a bit of
Speaker 2: a massage to try and relax the muscles within.
Speaker 1: What's with the face. I don't really needed the excuse
Speaker 1: to just.
Speaker 2: Grab your ars in public. You're not talking about just
Speaker 2: grabbing your mum cheeks and giving it a felt. It says,
Speaker 2: give it a massage. It's a sphincter muscle that needs
Speaker 2: a massage.
Speaker 1: You've done that before, forty one I've done. No, I haven't.
Speaker 1: That's a lie. Well, yeah, I thought that was a
Speaker 1: great little.
Speaker 2: Bit of information that if you do just get a
Speaker 2: sudden pain in your bomb, it's nothing you've done. It's
Speaker 2: just a random spasm of a muscle. It reminds me
Speaker 2: of an old old friend. No, no, who's the Scottish
Speaker 2: comedian forgot his name. He's got to and he's losing
Speaker 2: his mind at the moment.
Speaker 1: Billy Connelly. Billy Connelly reminds me of Billy Connelly's Itchy
Speaker 1: Bom sketch okay, where he basically says like, you shouldn't
Speaker 1: feel conscious about having an itchy bomb. Whereas if because
Speaker 1: you think you're gonna scratch your arse in public, people
Speaker 1: are going to look at you, know, lily a bit.
Speaker 1: Whereas if you just shout out, I've got an itchy
Speaker 1: bum and then just grab it and start scratching away.
Speaker 1: It's a very famous sketch, so famous I knew all
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: And if you like to shout out in the street
Speaker 2: about your itchy areas, feel free not to share it
Speaker 2: with us at the TV on social media actually if
Speaker 2: your life, because remember he's verse.
Speaker 1: It was nicely over to our story of the week. Now.
Speaker 2: I have said this a couple of times, and it
Speaker 2: may not be noted out there in the real world,
Speaker 2: but I recently lost my father, okay, right, And as
Speaker 2: I keep telling you, whenever I'm being unreasonable, I am
Speaker 2: recently bereft, and so that allows me to get away
Speaker 2: with Blue Murder like eighteen eighteen sausag drolls before the
Speaker 2: show starts. However, I've missed out on a trick, okay, right,
Speaker 2: and this comes courtesy of Rio de Janeiro and a
Speaker 2: lady called Erica Viera Nunez Nunez, which I think is
Speaker 2: a beautiful name.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: She went into a local bank right with her uncle
Speaker 2: in a wheelchair, right, and he wanted to take out
Speaker 2: a loan for seventeen thousand, about two and a half
Speaker 2: grand okay, okay. The the bank tellers were a bit
Speaker 2: concerned that, you know, the uncle wasn't all with it,
Speaker 2: and she said, going, no, no, if he's a well
Speaker 2: you need to go to the hospital uncle, I can
Speaker 2: take you now, or just need to sign this paper.
Speaker 1: I can take you now. And I noticed he was
Speaker 1: being a bit floppy. She didn't weekend at Bernie's. Huh.
Speaker 1: He was dead already.
Speaker 2: He was already dead, right, And she was trying to
Speaker 2: take a loan out in the bank with the dead body.
Speaker 1: Who we're not sure whether he was the uncle or not.
Speaker 1: How how was she going to fake him signing the docu.
Speaker 2: She was helping him with his hand and just move
Speaker 2: it there, and she was trying to help him sign it.
Speaker 2: But the fact that what was that they alerted to
Speaker 2: the fact was the fact that the gentleman kept doing
Speaker 2: this and collapsing and she had to physically bring him
Speaker 2: up and put his.
Speaker 1: Head forward and he wasn't speaking. So yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know what to say about that.
Speaker 3: Police were called, she was arrested and charged for the nicest, beautiful,
Speaker 3: most wonderful sounding charge in the history of police enforcement.
Speaker 1: Charged for vilification of a corpse. Vilification.
Speaker 3: Vilification, So making the corpse do something illegal is apparently
Speaker 3: a crime in Rio dijon Era, which I thought was
Speaker 3: a brilliant.
Speaker 1: Phrase, But it also means that it's been done long before,
Speaker 1: like a corpse.
Speaker 3: Obviously they've set up a law because corpses are used
Speaker 3: to commit.
Speaker 1: Crimes all the time.
Speaker 3: The vilification of a corpse, I thought that was a
Speaker 3: brilliant thing.
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful turn of phrase, but also makes me
Speaker 1: very worried about ever going to Rio. Why because there's
Speaker 1: just obviously lots of criminal corpses running around, not running
Speaker 1: around be pushed around the wilchair. If it was a thing, right,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't really be a cops it would be a zombie.
Speaker 1: Well that would still count. It'd still be a corpse
Speaker 1: committing crimes, especially if they're nibbling away at people. Qualification
Speaker 1: of a corpse. I thought was a beautiful phrase. And
Speaker 1: this is something you wanted to get away with with
Speaker 1: your own father. I've known about it. I might have
Speaker 1: had a go. You didn't get on with him.
Speaker 2: I didn't have a problem with him. He had a
Speaker 2: problem with me because he wasn't a fan of the case.
Speaker 2: That's a hare issue. If I'd known that, that would
Speaker 2: have made my interaction with the hallifat's a little bit
Speaker 2: more interesting with a to close down my father's account
Speaker 2: is here.
Speaker 1: To start. It doesn't need to sidefi if anyone in
Speaker 1: the bank account. Well that's all from the bus this week.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Mike. Just and sometimes don't know the kind
Speaker 1: of depth that you'll problem to anyway, you've not been
Speaker 1: on my grinder. Oh I actually talking about that anyway.
Speaker 1: Stick around as we have coming up our game to
Speaker 1: playing game of the week. Welcome back, and yes you
Speaker 1: are watching Chewing the Cuds. We're going to play around
Speaker 1: of lazy Susan's question Roulette, And this one is for
Speaker 1: the man who was asked once not to do the
Speaker 1: macarine and naked, but insisted the shopping center enjoy it.
Speaker 1: It's you, Mike off your shop. Its library day of
Speaker 1: the week. Okay, Mike's got out his lazy Susan and
Speaker 1: he's ready to give it a spin.
Speaker 2: I have a section of questions. Mm hmmm, lazy Susan stops.
Speaker 2: We'll get a question to ask.
Speaker 1: You if you spin it that quickly. It's just okay, movies. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm quite I did go to film school, so I
Speaker 1: should be quite good at movies. Sucking off a teacher.
Speaker 2: Okay, the question is in film? Who directed the film
Speaker 2: Gone with the Wind?
Speaker 1: Gone with the Wind? I don't know, actually, no, not clue.
Speaker 1: Think about think about song with a hefty.
Speaker 2: Cough, Wheezy McFadden, No, Victor Fleming.
Speaker 1: Ooh ooh, that's quite revolting.
Speaker 2: That is, you know, not everybody thinks. Not everything we
Speaker 2: have in the show revolves around the same phrase.
Speaker 1: But you know, you like to be consistent. Music. Music,
Speaker 1: it makes the people come together. Porter's head does that
Speaker 1: for me? What Porter said, great, great background music for
Speaker 1: when you're working a shag.
Speaker 2: Okay, what is the name of the singer who sings
Speaker 2: the song sexy back, sexy back, sexy back.
Speaker 1: Like me? Justin Timberlake. Why do you listen to the gallery?
Speaker 1: Because they're right? They are. I wasn't just in Timberlake's
Speaker 1: just in Bieber No way is that justin Bieber No,
Speaker 1: of course it's just in Timberlake. You trying to be
Speaker 1: all clever as.
Speaker 2: Will be clever, as being as being tricksy as a Hobbits.
Speaker 1: Movies again, movie is My Week? Is it? Yeah? Did
Speaker 1: so well on the last one.
Speaker 2: Which actor best known for his collaboration with director Steven Spielberg,
Speaker 2: starred in Shaving Ryan's Private, Saving and Saving Private Ryan.
Speaker 1: I believe there was a film called Shaving Private that
Speaker 1: was but that was that was a difference. Also Saving
Speaker 1: Ryan's privates the Tom Hanks. It was Tom Hanks. I
Speaker 1: do like Tom Hanks. I like the company rhyming slam.
Speaker 1: I feel that he's a lovely person. When you're anywhere.
Speaker 1: General knowledge is the next one. Oh boom, oh boo,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do well on this wake up boom.
Speaker 1: That was a bout Radley, wasn't it it was. When
Speaker 1: was the Queen Borne? Oh ninety four two nineteen twenty six.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, she was getting on before she died. She
Speaker 2: was lesser one about oldest living man to send himself
Speaker 2: a card brown mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Music, Oh no, movies, movies yay, apparently good at these.
Speaker 1: In a town like Alice, what does Alice refer to U?
Speaker 1: A town like Malice or a town like Alice Alice?
Speaker 1: A town called Dallas? Yeah? What from the commitments now
Speaker 1: called Malice? Town called Malice? That would Yes, I'm confusing things.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's referring to Alice Springs. Oh listen, does Alice Springs Alice?
Speaker 1: Alice? Who is Alice? I remember that song? Twenty five
Speaker 1: years you'd be living next door to Alice Alice. Right,
Speaker 1: next question general knowledge again? Oh no, it's noticed sports. Sorry, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, don't make me talk about football again on
Speaker 1: this show.
Speaker 2: Right again, you're asked to talk about footballers, not football.
Speaker 1: I was asking you what the off side rule was.
Speaker 2: That is, to talk about a handsome gentleman who's marrying
Speaker 2: another handsOn, gentleman who happened to wear shorts.
Speaker 1: Skinny boys in shorts with very rip dabs. Okay, give
Speaker 1: me a gymnast. They don't have to work their way
Speaker 1: around a pole.
Speaker 2: The column apparently, which country did Graham Fowler play cricket for?
Speaker 1: I think you can off, but I don't have a
Speaker 1: blooming monkey. Have a guess of a country that plays Venezuela,
Speaker 1: that well known Venezuelan cricket team England, England, the country
Speaker 1: in which you are currently sat. Why do we play cricket? Famously?
Speaker 1: Do we the ashes?
Speaker 2: What cricket match between the Twengland and Australia?
Speaker 1: Only if you're talking about David Bowie? David Bowie ashes
Speaker 1: to ashes? All right, okay? Ashes? General knowledge? I really don't.
Speaker 1: I hate sport.
Speaker 2: I hated with the passion in which English county m
Speaker 2: hm is Blenham Palace located Windsor.
Speaker 1: Which county isn't Windsor county? Mm hmmm, I thought it
Speaker 1: was a county. Geography is not my friend either.
Speaker 2: Oxfordshire, Oxfordshire, Oxfordshire definitely drug a fit and knowledge.
Speaker 1: There's music music, I might be all right with. We'll
Speaker 1: give give music again. Who sang Venus Bananama? Correct? And
Speaker 1: several other people have for she's got it, baby, She's
Speaker 1: got it. The raised advert for Lindy's legs. Hasn't it
Speaker 1: been covered by JLO as well recently? You can shut up.
Speaker 1: I don't like her Oak sport or you did that deliberate.
Speaker 1: I didn't do that one deliberately. It happened to London sport.
Speaker 1: What it means to me which race came first? The
Speaker 1: thousand guineas or the two thousand guineas the human I'm
Speaker 1: being facetious because I don't give money. I don't care.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. It's not important, very important. It's not
Speaker 1: important different to a thousand guineas the first one. It's
Speaker 1: actually the two thousand guineas. Oh what how? How are irrelevant?
Speaker 1: You really hate sports? Always very cross me. I hate
Speaker 1: people wear all black. Version of all black is gonna wear? Oh,
Speaker 1: let's sport again. You're just doing this a purpose now, okay?
Speaker 1: Go on?
Speaker 2: Who owned so really sports ownership related? Who owned.
Speaker 1: The triple Grand National winner? Red Room? Uh? A very
Speaker 1: disappointed man, because I didn't Red Rum get kidnapped.
Speaker 2: Noel da Mayre, Noel de Maire and the he said,
Speaker 2: Noel Gordon, that is what Noel Gordon.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I don't know who Nel Gordon is Nell Gordon, Noel Gordon,
Speaker 1: Noel as in the first all right Gordon, first Gordon. Oh, yes,
Speaker 1: I know who you're talking about now, Harry Gallery have
Speaker 1: been very very helpful. But I actually really only know
Speaker 1: of the lady from Crossroads because of Russell T. Davis's show,
Speaker 1: which was very very good. And what was she called
Speaker 1: in that show? I can't remember, Noel Gordon. Somebody might
Speaker 1: leader calming calmen green tea, like I'm not like green
Speaker 1: tea got caffeine, isn't it green tea? Doesn't that you
Speaker 1: can have caffeine free green teasing that because it might
Speaker 1: be calming, sporty camramile, but again sport Oh well, funny
Speaker 1: that I didn't stop it on the spot. It stops itself, right,
Speaker 1: You may tell me that, you may tell yourself that,
Speaker 1: but will you tell Noel Gordon?
Speaker 2: Oh she's dead, God account quite tragically just after coming
Speaker 2: back on Crossroads.
Speaker 1: We should know if you actually absorbed the show that
Speaker 1: you watched. I just enjoyed it, really realized I was
Speaker 1: going to be questioned on it later.
Speaker 2: Okay, So apart from you who is nicknamed the big easy.
Speaker 1: Oh you cow ah Raymond Chandler, Raymond Chandler, Raymond Chandler.
Speaker 1: I've got to break, just go to break. I'm not
Speaker 1: doing it any more. Welcome back during the CUD and
Speaker 1: now we're going to beautify our surroundings. As Mike is
Speaker 1: in Crafty Queens. When you're at home, do you like
Speaker 1: a vas of fresh flowers? I do? Actually yes, I
Speaker 1: can believe that.
Speaker 3: For me.
Speaker 1: The problem to lovely vases and then they've currently stuffed
Speaker 1: with blooms. They are oh what blooms do you have?
Speaker 1: Their carnations and beginning of spring all the way through
Speaker 1: to Sourn October. I have flowers and then I thread
Speaker 1: them into a nice garland that keeps me through winter.
Speaker 1: The dried flowers a nations.
Speaker 5: Yeah, hey, but obviously flowers die, yes, So what we
Speaker 5: need to do is we need to make something that
Speaker 5: will last longer than them flowers to create our little flowers.
Speaker 1: That's what we're going to do today.
Speaker 2: Okay, So in front of you, you have some dissial paper.
Speaker 1: I have blue tste paper, and I have think Dizier paper.
Speaker 1: Mine looks a bit like deadim like what Dini? Right?
Speaker 1: So what you want to do is you only want
Speaker 1: one sheet of dissue paper. Mm hmm. Okay, did doesn't
Speaker 1: look like that of the camera, but it does look
Speaker 1: like that in front of me. It's like navy blue
Speaker 1: diss you paper. Oh you really want it?
Speaker 2: So I want one sheet on one sheet like that
Speaker 2: toilet paper where that's kitchen roll. Isn't that as toilet paper?
Speaker 2: I think you've got a very anyway there, Okay, so
Speaker 2: fold it.
Speaker 1: In half along the lengthways or along I can't see
Speaker 1: you because I'm looking at myself along the lengthways. Okay, lovely.
Speaker 2: What you're going to do is you're going to roll.
Speaker 2: You've got it's a stick, a tube, a tube thing here,
Speaker 2: And what you're going to do is you're going to
Speaker 2: roll the tissue paper up within that tube, okay, trying
Speaker 2: to keep it nice and tight.
Speaker 1: Do you want a tight roll? You want it to
Speaker 1: be nice and tight? Now I remember what that used
Speaker 1: to be. Like. Pretend you're running a cigarette. I've quit smoking.
Speaker 1: Have you quit? World on you? How long have you
Speaker 1: quit smoking? It's only been a couple of days. But
Speaker 1: it's the hard time. It's the hard time to quit smoke. Well,
Speaker 1: I have means around that, but those means are harder
Speaker 1: to get hold of. So this time when I quit,
Speaker 1: I better stick to it. Huh. I'll explain another time. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's gone a little bit of wry, but it's still tight.
Speaker 1: Let me see as in it. It's not straight, it's
Speaker 1: not straight, and it needs to be straight, so thise
Speaker 1: it won't work, but it needs to be straight as
Speaker 1: straight as possible. That's not very on brand for this program.
Speaker 1: What are you infer It can either be tight and
Speaker 1: a little bit off center, or it can be loose
Speaker 1: and straight. Okay, drawings that whatever you may wish to.
Speaker 1: It's going off again. I'll just need to adjust a
Speaker 1: little bite, just as a little bit. Just there we go. Okay,
Speaker 1: sorry bashing the end a little bit too hard. Then
Speaker 1: I can't get my tube out. Do you need to
Speaker 1: get the tube bounty be able to get the tube
Speaker 1: out afterwards? Okay, I can do that right.
Speaker 2: Okay, once you lap what you want to do, it's
Speaker 2: about three quarters of the way down. Okay, do you
Speaker 2: want to fold it in half? But you want to
Speaker 2: snip all the way through apart from a little bit.
Speaker 1: So like three quarters of the way through now, So
Speaker 1: we're going to do it that way. And then that way. Oh,
Speaker 1: both sides.
Speaker 2: So you've got a little collar out in the middle,
Speaker 2: a little color in the middle, but it's mostly cut
Speaker 2: all the way through.
Speaker 1: So a little bit there but not all the way through.
Speaker 1: On the other side, a little bit there, but not
Speaker 1: all the way through. Yeah. Now what we're going to
Speaker 1: do is with the bigger end. Oh, I like them again.
Speaker 2: Okay, We're going to cut the sides off from that
Speaker 2: previous cut, from the previous cut and into a little
Speaker 2: bit of a loop.
Speaker 1: Okay, parking over, then barking over. Okay, I'm with you. Okay,
Speaker 1: we go. How far up do you want the curve?
Speaker 2: So just so, they're going to be the pedals of
Speaker 2: your flower, so as big as your flower you want
Speaker 2: to be.
Speaker 1: I like it. I like a big petal. Okay, oh
Speaker 1: oh dear, okay, Oh it's it's quite a lot of effort.
Speaker 1: This arts and crafts, isn't it? Arts and crafts? Arts
Speaker 1: and arts and crafts. Okay, Look, I'm an adopted north
Speaker 1: of the I'm not so northern and been long and speak.
Speaker 1: My addiction has just been destroyed or is now correct.
Speaker 2: So then what you want to is in the middle,
Speaker 2: in the middle yeah, you want to find one of
Speaker 2: you the middle petal that you can the middle okay.
Speaker 1: And pull it up like that, and as you pull up,
Speaker 1: it'll spin a little bit or come off in my hand.
Speaker 1: Are you a too too too rough? It's been said
Speaker 1: before going wrong. I don't think I've caught enough through.
Speaker 1: I mean it's somewhat. I don't if I was trying
Speaker 1: to be romantic and take that to someone and go,
Speaker 1: here's a bunch of flowers for you.
Speaker 2: If you're taking paper flowers for someone to be romantic,
Speaker 2: you deserve to be.
Speaker 1: Single, especially when they look like this. Right.
Speaker 2: So when you pull up, it should look like that
Speaker 2: because you do it gently, okay. And then when you
Speaker 2: push it back down you keep it straight and it
Speaker 2: should just holding.
Speaker 1: On itself like that.
Speaker 2: M hmm. What's it also look like? It's enlightened? Asked
Speaker 2: by many people? And then you just you just give
Speaker 2: it the bottom bit a bit of a twist, told
Speaker 2: it altogether.
Speaker 1: Okay. This is going to be the thing that saves
Speaker 1: it that final step a lot. I love that they're
Speaker 1: going to give up buying flowers, little flower, because this
Speaker 1: will save on water as well. I'll put this and
Speaker 1: it'll be just as beautiful as the real thing or
Speaker 1: some fact.
Speaker 2: And if you can't get any pin or any virgin
Speaker 2: or anything in between, it's probably because you're giving people
Speaker 2: paper flowers like this.
Speaker 1: I have a little flower, and I have a little
Speaker 1: flower yours.
Speaker 2: Do you remember in like the seventies early eighties where
Speaker 2: I saw the Queen she had a hat with a
Speaker 2: fascinator on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's always that fluffy like even I'll be
Speaker 1: honest a bit that this is a complete failure and
Speaker 1: looks a little bit like bird's ass after it's been
Speaker 1: shot down by probably the queen birds. All right, she's
Speaker 1: dead for stuff.
Speaker 2: It looks like a bird's ass after it's been shot down. Yeah, literally,
Speaker 2: Why is that a frame of reference you have? Why
Speaker 2: are you looking at birds arses that have been shot.
Speaker 1: Well, you know the rest of them has been run
Speaker 1: off with.
Speaker 2: You saying that the people hunting birds leave the arseholes behind.
Speaker 1: Well, if they've shot them off and they've left a
Speaker 1: rather ragged plumage, you don't want that to take home
Speaker 1: for a good stuffing. Yeah, but that's almost the end
Speaker 1: of the show. Remember to join us on.
Speaker 2: Our social media at the cood TV in all the
Speaker 2: usual places, and don't forget we are on TikTok as well.
Speaker 1: Thank you for watching, and we'll see you again soon.
Speaker 1: Bye bye. You've just done.
Speaker 2: That's why I can't do it to you, just because
Speaker 2: you're in my face, just because yours is nice and
Speaker 2: mine's rubbish.
Speaker 1: You've said that before