Speaker 1: Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery of podcast.
Speaker 2: If you don't make mistakes, you won't learn.
Speaker 1: With your host, Corey Winfield, you know there was a
Speaker 1: reason why that didn't work out, and you can look
Speaker 1: back at it and go, yep, I'm glad that didn't
Speaker 1: work out how I wanted it, because I wouldn't been
Speaker 1: for got your abs. It is the twenty seventh of
Speaker 1: August twenty twenty five. My name is Cory Winfield and
Speaker 1: I'm Corey Smoker. You are the guest today. Are you
Speaker 1: excited about that? Yeah? Nice? We talk about some stuff.
Speaker 2: I think that's good. It's just us checking in. We're
Speaker 2: trying to get that podcast out there.
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, that's what we're trying to do.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: I just want to talk about God today and the
Speaker 1: open kind of sums it up my day and how
Speaker 1: that went today. I would like to thank God for
Speaker 1: making my plans blow up. Let me rewind the tape here. Okay.
Speaker 1: So we're going to start a new project and there's
Speaker 1: another organization in town and we're gonna start it with them,
Speaker 1: and we're excited about it. And today was the day
Speaker 1: we were going to go do some things to start
Speaker 1: the project, and I was pretty excited. At first. I
Speaker 1: was like, I was bummed because we met early August
Speaker 1: and then the date was set for August twenty seventh,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Dan, that's so far away. Can
Speaker 1: we do it tomorrow? And he's like, no, we'll do
Speaker 1: it twenty seventh, okay, And I thought, you know what,
Speaker 1: that is actually a good thing because that gives me
Speaker 1: time to prepare and just to kind of figure out
Speaker 1: what stuff we want to do with this project. And
Speaker 1: so today ten o'clock I was supposed to meet for
Speaker 1: the project and I was supposed to me didn't show
Speaker 1: up obviously, not obviously, but he didn't show up, and
Speaker 1: I was like, so I waited and I call him.
Speaker 1: He thought it was at one. It was. It was
Speaker 1: from ten to one is when we reserved this place
Speaker 1: to do our thing. And then there's another person that
Speaker 1: was supposed to come. And then I waited till like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm a ten thirty maybe if that
Speaker 1: and that person never came. So I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: well I'm out. I was crushed, like I couldn't even
Speaker 1: sleep last night. I got two hours of sleep cause
Speaker 1: something with weird my brain. But when it starts going
Speaker 1: and I start thinking, and then I start thinking about
Speaker 1: all the stuff I have to do for this project,
Speaker 1: and then all the stuff I have to do outside
Speaker 1: of the project, and then family and God and just
Speaker 1: all the stuff, and I'm just like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: So I could not sleep, and I was excited. It's
Speaker 1: like Christmas morning. Well it's not quite as good as
Speaker 1: fancy football, but I was very excited about it, and
Speaker 1: so like, well, on the nerves of it, yeah, cause
Speaker 1: I've been doubting myself, like, oh am I good enough
Speaker 1: to do this stuff? Can we do it? I don't know?
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, during that time from early August
Speaker 1: to like late August August twenty seventh, I had the
Speaker 1: time to go, No, I do actually know more than
Speaker 1: then I get myself credit for. And I actually fell
Speaker 1: into that by taking a class. Then I took these classes,
Speaker 1: and I learned all this stuff and I didn't really
Speaker 1: learn That's what I was like, Okay, maybe I know
Speaker 1: more than I'm giving myself credit for. So I start
Speaker 1: to get the confidence and I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 1: And the most important thing, and if I've said this
Speaker 1: a million times but if you're starting a podcast or whatever,
Speaker 1: start putting dates on things, because if you don't, it
Speaker 1: becomes well, i'll do it next week. No. No, But if
Speaker 1: you're like August twenty seventh, we're doing it. You got
Speaker 1: to do it unless you're gonna I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: bitch out on yourself, but I don't want to offend people, obviously,
Speaker 1: but I said it anyway. So if you're offending whatever,
Speaker 1: But I think.
Speaker 3: When you set the date for that goal or when
Speaker 3: you're gonna do it or have it done by I
Speaker 3: think that just gives you the more solidified date of.
Speaker 2: That you're going to show up and do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it moves it up, like it moves your planning
Speaker 1: everything in your head. It just moves it up because
Speaker 1: like we're doing it that day. The podcast is the
Speaker 1: same way we start. It was in treatment. I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: we get out, you know, let's start a podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna start a podcast. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do that, l l lah lah la. And then I
Speaker 1: get out. And how I work is everything has to
Speaker 1: be perfect before it takes off the ground. Like you
Speaker 1: can't just send a test up there and hope, it's
Speaker 1: got to be perfect. I have this guy at the
Speaker 1: website that everything, and I didn't have any money. I
Speaker 1: was just coming out of treatment. I have a job,
Speaker 1: like I mean, it was it was a little difficult,
Speaker 1: but we did it. And not before I was told
Speaker 1: that I had disappointed somebody. Everyone picked this Ryan guy
Speaker 1: up and brought him back to the house and he
Speaker 1: was in room two seventeen after we were, but he
Speaker 1: was still kind of a part of our crew and
Speaker 1: he just was like he jumped in the car and
Speaker 1: he was like, all right, I want to hear it.
Speaker 1: And he was all geeked out and want to hear what,
Speaker 1: you know, some trick daddy, Like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: He's like, no, your podcast. Oh, I'm still looking for
Speaker 1: a website. And he just shot me this look man,
Speaker 1: and this is just it's like like what and he's like, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm so disappointed in you. What what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: You know, like okay, but it lit the fire under
Speaker 1: me to go okay. You know. When we got back
Speaker 1: to the house, I s all right, we're starting a Saturday.
Speaker 1: How about that. We're starting a Saturday. I don't care
Speaker 1: if I have a website. If I have three microphones,
Speaker 1: one I don't, I don't. We're starting at Saturday. We're
Speaker 1: doing something Saturday. Yeah, And if I didn't do that,
Speaker 1: we wouldn't have we wouldn't have almost a thousand episodes
Speaker 1: to tell you that.
Speaker 3: And it's and it's about like obviously sometimes I tell you,
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, it's better than nothing at all, right,
Speaker 3: because I'm still learning when I do things or pictures
Speaker 3: or videos or audio things.
Speaker 2: But that's what we hear and I'm practicing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's how you learn, you know. Now, if
Speaker 1: you keep making these sticks over and over, then be like, okay,
Speaker 1: well maybe you shouldn't do that, you know, like maybe
Speaker 1: we can move you in a different direction and put
Speaker 1: you in a different spot. Because everybody's valuable, like everybody's value.
Speaker 1: Everybody has something that they're good at, and it's just
Speaker 1: finding that niche or that what that you're good at.
Speaker 1: Like you're a go getter and you're not afraid to fail,
Speaker 1: like maybe you are, but you're gonna try it anyway,
Speaker 1: and if you fail, you're gonna be like, damn, I tried.
Speaker 3: Oh I'll try and if I'm not that good at it,
Speaker 3: I'll keep doing it, but I cause I guess it's
Speaker 3: a little part for me is kind of like I
Speaker 3: tell you, Corey, it's like something out there promoting it
Speaker 3: is better than nothing out there for my little videos
Speaker 3: that I do, and I only I just do them
Speaker 3: because you tell me that it's a better promotion.
Speaker 2: I hear people say hey, I see in you or.
Speaker 3: Then also, like on my Facebook, it gets other people
Speaker 3: that maybe has also doubted my recovery journey or I
Speaker 3: haven't kept track of or lost contact with that. Now
Speaker 3: all of a sudden they're seeing it and they're like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2: Look how far you come.
Speaker 3: And it's not about I want any credit like that.
Speaker 3: It's just showing them like I'm just out here trying
Speaker 3: to do the next thing and advocate or promote that
Speaker 3: I'm having game night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it might not even be someone you know
Speaker 1: that sees something. You know. I don't know how you
Speaker 1: keep your Facebook mind. I know like three people on there,
Speaker 1: the rest I don't. I don't know. Well, I know
Speaker 1: a couple of people on my Facebook, but I got
Speaker 1: a lot of people on there, and I don't know
Speaker 1: a lot of them. But those other people that could
Speaker 1: come across your stuff that you may not know, but
Speaker 1: they're like oh wow, and they come across your story
Speaker 1: and they might have a problem and you could give
Speaker 1: them a hope without even knowing. You know that. That's
Speaker 1: what it's about, and that's why we do what we do.
Speaker 1: There was a guy when I was in sober Living.
Speaker 1: His name was Matt and he he I don't know
Speaker 1: what his deal was. Jealousy's crazy, I guess, but he
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, you're and I'm in keep in mind,
Speaker 1: I'm in sober Living. I'm working at Heartsy Grove and Potoski,
Speaker 1: which is r V resort. I was making like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, fourteen bucks an hour. I worked thirty hours
Speaker 1: a week or I know. I wasn't rich, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: But he said one day, he's like, yeah, that's gonna
Speaker 1: be your downfall, Windfield. That's when you're gonna relapse because
Speaker 1: all this fortune and fames go into your head. And
Speaker 1: we started laughing, me and Ryan and Parker rest of
Speaker 1: pees guy above. I mean, but anyway, we just start
Speaker 1: dying laughing man, because we're like, wait, talking about how
Speaker 1: much money we've paid for this podcast, like it's still
Speaker 1: like we don't, we're not doing this to make money,
Speaker 1: and maybe one day it's some clips and people reach
Speaker 1: out and they're like, you have so many episodes, like
Speaker 1: this is insane, Like you could put this out for
Speaker 1: years and years and years and not even do another podcast.
Speaker 3: You could just I was like, yeah, but I think
Speaker 3: even then, you're not doing it.
Speaker 2: To get to get rich.
Speaker 3: You would be putting it out there to put back
Speaker 3: into to seventeen recovery, whether it's funding a ride, or
Speaker 3: whether it's a meeting space, or whether it's somewhere where
Speaker 3: you could do this podcast live with an audience, bigger people,
Speaker 3: or you know what I mean. So I think that's
Speaker 3: the difference of it. You're just like you always say,
Speaker 3: I just.
Speaker 2: Want to help people.
Speaker 1: I do. And now keep in mind, I want to
Speaker 1: live comfortable. I'm not gonna lie, but I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: rich when I write my movie or finish writing my
Speaker 1: movie and then shoot it and sell it. Or maybe
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. Maybe I'll just keep it and just shoot it,
Speaker 1: just watch it at my house by myself, will never
Speaker 1: show it to anybody.
Speaker 3: I could, oh, and then then it would go big
Speaker 3: when you pass away and Parker.
Speaker 2: Can have all the money.
Speaker 1: I always said, if I had money when I was
Speaker 1: in my active addiction, I would have died a long
Speaker 1: time ago. Like I feel bad for rich people or
Speaker 1: people if you know somebody with money and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, big god, everything, No, just pump the brakes,
Speaker 1: because addiction does not discriminate. It will to destroy your life.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if you have money, but to have
Speaker 1: money obviously, like me, I ran out of money because
Speaker 1: then I couldn't keep a job because well I was
Speaker 1: drinking all the time. And I just think that it's
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Money changes people. I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: That it does, but it's not. It's not the like, yes,
Speaker 1: we love living comfortable, yeah, you know, And I don't
Speaker 1: even say I don't even I'm not trying to say
Speaker 1: I'm rich or anything, but like it's nice to have
Speaker 1: a wife who's responsible and has taught me, Hey, this
Speaker 1: is how you rebuild your credit. That's how you do
Speaker 1: like all of that falls into it, you know. And
Speaker 1: some people like, oh you got some myself, Well yeah,
Speaker 1: well I because of my wife had me fix my credit.
Speaker 1: I was able to get a credit card that had
Speaker 1: no interest for a year and a half. You can
Speaker 1: buy stuff on that one, you know, like because normally,
Speaker 1: like when we use a credit card, we will and
Speaker 1: we'll pay it right off because we don't want to
Speaker 1: pay interest. Because you start doing that, you're just a
Speaker 1: brac And then you just pay for a bunch of
Speaker 1: stuff and they'll give you cash back points. And I
Speaker 1: know I might be talking like crazy stuff to someone
Speaker 1: who is in early recovery. Is like, my credit score
Speaker 1: is like six hundred, what are you talking about? Trust me?
Speaker 1: Just stick with it and you can if you need help,
Speaker 1: reach out Corey c r I at seventeen recovery dot com.
Speaker 1: We'll get you in touch or some budgeting or some
Speaker 1: kind of credit rebuilding process will definitely help you. But
Speaker 1: but that's but that's what people seeither oh Cory got
Speaker 1: no camera or Corey did this. Well, no, Corey had
Speaker 1: fixed his credit and I think Corey's got it. See
Speaker 1: now I got to offload it to another card that
Speaker 1: has a year and a half no interest. But that's
Speaker 1: how you do it. You don't pay the interest and
Speaker 1: you get the points back and oh here's three percent back.
Speaker 1: It adds up.
Speaker 3: But I think it's not even about living comfortable per se, right,
Speaker 3: it's about we're just living responsible. Yeah, we're a little
Speaker 3: bit more responsible than when we first got sober, and
Speaker 3: definitely when we're using right, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, I never had money.
Speaker 1: We're not comfortable enough to be like, oh well, if
Speaker 1: everything went south, we'd be good for a year. No,
Speaker 1: we'd be the same, you know. So, but it is
Speaker 1: nice to look comfortable to do things, and I like
Speaker 1: being able to do that for people here, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's why I think that we can make a difference,
Speaker 1: because somebody that's doing your job deserves to get paid,
Speaker 1: you know, Like, yeah, I see some of these others
Speaker 1: went down in southwest Michigan. They were paying people twelve
Speaker 1: dollars an hour. Obviously nobody works there.
Speaker 2: How do you even survive?
Speaker 1: But how could you keep anybody good? Right? Because if
Speaker 1: I'm sober, I'm in recovery, I'm doing my thing. I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to make twelve dollars an hour. I want
Speaker 1: to help some people. Sure, And when I started out, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just talked about I was making fourteen dollars an
Speaker 1: hour there. But that was like a no pressure job
Speaker 1: that I could just go to and be a pickle.
Speaker 1: As our friend Tony said.
Speaker 2: Well we need that in the beginning.
Speaker 3: No brainer, not no chaos, just a job that's very
Speaker 3: super easy but also just picks up busy work for.
Speaker 1: Us, right, But not the treatment center. I would say
Speaker 1: probably for twelve dollars an hour, But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I worked at a treatment center when I first got well,
Speaker 1: not when I first got out of the treatment. There was
Speaker 1: some time in there because I didn't want to work there.
Speaker 1: We refer to it as the nasty Chinese restaurant. Tell
Speaker 1: that story in a minute. It's a good one. But
Speaker 1: with the with that, I knew that it was getting
Speaker 1: to me, the working there and the way they ran
Speaker 1: the place. And I said to myself, I can't work
Speaker 1: here more, like I can't support that mission, Like that's
Speaker 1: not helping people and I want to help people, and
Speaker 1: so I can't work anymore. And but who's I mean?
Speaker 1: That was my fifteenth time through treatment, you know, so
Speaker 1: like I had built up some callouses. I've kind of learned, Okay,
Speaker 1: well listen what you do here and this is what
Speaker 1: you do here is but like if someone who's just
Speaker 1: coming in, like I don't know that that would be
Speaker 1: scary to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I think also to it takes
Speaker 3: a certain individual to work in a treatment center.
Speaker 2: I did it.
Speaker 3: I did the women's Obviously, I don't I You couldn't
Speaker 3: pay me enough to go back and do that again.
Speaker 1: No, no, not twelve hours an hour? No, And that's
Speaker 1: the problem, you know, and figure it out.
Speaker 2: But back to the stiless story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go to the fun story here. And then
Speaker 1: we got to talk about got for a minute or two.
Speaker 1: But no, the story about the Chinese restaurant is the
Speaker 1: streatment center that I went to that wasn't a big
Speaker 1: fan of Obviously. I just mentioned that, and I also
Speaker 1: mentioned that I worked there. But we were in it
Speaker 1: was some city, And how we got to the city
Speaker 1: was our friend Tyrone had jumped in the car with Joey,
Speaker 1: a guy who had lived there at the sober living
Speaker 1: house I was managing, and they were like, hey, let's
Speaker 1: go up to the store, which is right down the road,
Speaker 1: and they ended up taking him like forty minutes away
Speaker 1: to some meeting. And they thought it was hilarious that
Speaker 1: they like kidnapped him and took him to a meeting.
Speaker 1: And they thought it was great. So Joey gets in
Speaker 1: the car and without really even saying anything, we just
Speaker 1: looked at each other and we're like, yep, kidnap. And
Speaker 1: I don't remember where we went. It was like an
Speaker 1: hour and a half away. Like he was so pissed
Speaker 1: because he was like, I got stuff to do. Guys,
Speaker 1: We're like, well, I guess the meeting today is is
Speaker 1: what you're doing? And then we went to a Chinese
Speaker 1: restaurant afterward and it was gross, and there was this
Speaker 1: woman who was up at the buffet. She's getting food,
Speaker 1: that's what they do. Kind of rolled your eyes a
Speaker 1: little bit, like you were disappointed in the story how
Speaker 1: it started. So there's a woman at the buffet getting food, okay,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna roll your eyes like something bad happened.
Speaker 2: I just I can only imagine.
Speaker 1: Okay, well it's exactly what you thought. So you were
Speaker 1: sitting there and I think Joey was next to me
Speaker 1: or I can't remember how who was where, but he
Speaker 1: notices the woman at the buffet and apparently the workout
Speaker 1: that she does on her backside, Joey thought it made
Speaker 1: it look really attractive. So Joey says to us, oh
Speaker 1: my God, guys, there's something to this. I can't remember
Speaker 1: exactly word for it, but he said, damn that girl's ass.
Speaker 1: We look well. Meanwhile, the bodybuilder boyfriend was right behind Joey.
Speaker 1: He was standing there right behind him doing something, and
Speaker 1: he like looked at Joey and we were just like, oh, boy, Like,
Speaker 1: let's because he heard that? Yeah, and it was. It
Speaker 1: was pretty funny though, because we were just like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, what'd you say?
Speaker 3: Joey?
Speaker 1: Wait? Look at what Joey. You know, because we were
Speaker 1: all two seventeenth out, you know, like, how awkward can
Speaker 1: we make this for Joey now?
Speaker 2: And he's kidnap?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he can't even run to the car because he
Speaker 1: doesn't have the keys.
Speaker 2: It's not his Can I ask? Did he ever kidnap anybody? Again? No?
Speaker 2: I didn't like it being done to him.
Speaker 1: Uh no, I guess not. Yeah, he left. He was like,
Speaker 1: I want to start the podcast and you can go
Speaker 1: back and listen to episodes from then. That would have
Speaker 1: been twenty twenty, but the two seventeen app. Actually our
Speaker 1: website does too, but you have to scroll back kind
Speaker 1: of far. But if you have the two seventeen app,
Speaker 1: you can go back pretty easy. But joey'soun some of them.
Speaker 1: I think punching a kangaroo was one of them. I
Speaker 1: think that was the name of the episode, something about
Speaker 1: punching a kangaroo. Do you know what that means? No? Okay, good,
Speaker 1: I'm not telling you that's great? Are my employee? I
Speaker 1: can't do that, that's good?
Speaker 3: I don't think I I can only imagine.
Speaker 1: Ask your husband, Jesse. I didn't even know it until
Speaker 1: they I was like, what, and there's not? Oh okay,
Speaker 1: but yeah, go back and listen to that one punching
Speaker 1: the clown or punch the clown.
Speaker 2: Something like that clown or kangaroo.
Speaker 1: Those two of them. Because Chris talked about punching the kangaroo.
Speaker 1: I think it was the clown punching the clown.
Speaker 3: I guess I think I'm gonna go back and listen
Speaker 3: to it first. Well, I get never. I'll just listen
Speaker 3: to it. Go from there, get home, put it on
Speaker 3: while I'm taking a nice crap cleaning or cleaning.
Speaker 2: Let's put it in my earpod.
Speaker 1: How come women don't talk about crapping as much as
Speaker 1: men do.
Speaker 3: I don't know, because it's just crapping, like you just
Speaker 3: go and take a shit and you're out.
Speaker 2: I mean, I have four dogs staring at me.
Speaker 1: Take your dogs in the bathroom with you.
Speaker 2: They bust the door down. So it's just.
Speaker 3: It's like, come on, when as soon as I get home,
Speaker 3: I have four dogs following me everywhere.
Speaker 1: I have a one year old that does that.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 3: I used to have just a child in the bathroom
Speaker 3: staring at me too, and then she would get you know,
Speaker 3: because now you're stuck on the toilet pooping, and now
Speaker 3: she's pulling things out.
Speaker 2: Of the drawers and the bottom of the cupboards.
Speaker 1: And I'm glad we finally got to the bottom of
Speaker 1: why women don't talk about pooping obviously, because they're worried
Speaker 1: about all the other stuff that's gonna go wrong. They
Speaker 1: got to get in now, especially once.
Speaker 3: You become a mom, you're unless someone else is either
Speaker 3: home with you. I mean, you can't even trust when
Speaker 3: they're sleeping.
Speaker 1: Does that make Does that make women not stereotyping men
Speaker 1: by assuming all men take forever in the bathroom. But
Speaker 1: I gotta check my fantasy, you know, I gotta that's
Speaker 1: the stuff I gotta do. Check cameras, check drones.
Speaker 2: Yeah, with that options kind of obsolete.
Speaker 1: Women don't do that though.
Speaker 2: No, you don't have time.
Speaker 1: Huh. But that doesn't make you jealous of men. No,
Speaker 1: not like man, he's in there just taking the sweet
Speaker 1: ass time.
Speaker 3: M only once in a while, what I'm ready to
Speaker 3: go and all of a sudden.
Speaker 1: Like go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3: No like leave because Jesse's learned some hard lessons, like
Speaker 3: he he just never if you're walking out the door
Speaker 3: and you feel a little feel, you go back what happened? Well,
Speaker 3: I mean, oh, there's this once upon a time that
Speaker 3: he was on.
Speaker 2: I felt so bad for him. He was on these
Speaker 2: diuretics and I mean he was on.
Speaker 1: Like sorry, me and Parker here more.
Speaker 3: And then you love that party coming in all it's
Speaker 3: like five thousand milligrams, so you had to take a day.
Speaker 3: So everything that went in just didn't sustain in the body.
Speaker 3: So we had you.
Speaker 2: We just don't pass up good bathrooms, so or any bathroom.
Speaker 3: Actually, especially after we had to break into one of
Speaker 3: someone's house, we knew we don't really break in.
Speaker 2: We just went in poop he did.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we have the crew here, poop and crew.
Speaker 1: But I'm glad that that you were willing to talk
Speaker 1: about that today. I didn't want to talking about God too,
Speaker 1: So we go from pooping and women talking about pooping
Speaker 1: it's nothing to do with this episode, to God. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and today I started kind of going into about how
Speaker 1: my day was thrown off in scotting him. But everything
Speaker 1: happens for a reason. And I was disappointed when I left,
Speaker 1: when I was like, we're not going to do the
Speaker 1: project or even begin it today, and I'm disappointed, and
Speaker 1: oh there was another person that didn't show up or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, well, I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: i'll email that person later. And I figured out I
Speaker 1: was driving back and I'm just thinking, like, why didn't
Speaker 1: God want that to happen at because it was at
Speaker 1: a church as we were a meeting. I'm like, why
Speaker 1: didn't he want that to happen at his church? Like
Speaker 1: what's going on? But then I get back here and
Speaker 1: I started in on doing other stuff that I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to do, and then the other person comes and then
Speaker 1: they're like hey, and they were given the wrong time too,
Speaker 1: so there was like definitely a time issue thing, and
Speaker 1: it's just perfect. It happened exactly I was supposed to go.
Speaker 1: When that person came, we had this really good conversation
Speaker 1: for a couple hours I think, yeah, and him cried
Speaker 1: a little bit, But it all goes back to faith
Speaker 1: and having faith in God. And God's brought me this far,
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to throw out there he brought
Speaker 1: me this for He's not going to fail me now.
Speaker 1: Because the Lord giveth, the Lord can take it away.
Speaker 1: And I'm not trying to stay up here trying to
Speaker 1: say hey, no. I'm trying to say, though, is that
Speaker 1: there's a reason that that happened. And there's a reason
Speaker 1: that it's beyond my concept of even knowing of why
Speaker 1: it happened that way or why I had to talk
Speaker 1: to the person that I talked to for so long
Speaker 1: today and it was just it was good and it
Speaker 1: went better than if we actually would have done the project. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just for me and my soul. Like as a person
Speaker 1: like me, as a person likes to do work in
Speaker 1: projects and stuff, I'd be like no, no, no, I
Speaker 1: would rather But for me, my soul, I think I
Speaker 1: needed that more today.
Speaker 3: I think so because when you came, when you came back,
Speaker 3: you were you were very disappointed, you were upset and
Speaker 3: I think it's because you were It's more about just
Speaker 3: being disappointed that were hurt that it didn't happen, because
Speaker 3: you've been looking you really, you have been looking forward
Speaker 3: to this even though and then it's the nerves and
Speaker 3: all that, and they're sleeping and so then all that
Speaker 3: it rushes in and it comes to play and then
Speaker 3: like you were feeling, you were just saying, You're like,
Speaker 3: now I'm drained.
Speaker 2: Now I'm tired.
Speaker 3: Now I'm because it's like all them emotions come in
Speaker 3: and then they go out, and then it's just like
Speaker 3: you're kind of blah after that.
Speaker 1: So I wasn't tired until I got back here, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, but it's because all that
Speaker 1: excitement is gone and it's just like I slept two
Speaker 1: hours last night. Oh wait I did.
Speaker 2: It was like like I told you, what can we do?
Speaker 3: Where?
Speaker 2: What can we do now? And that's why I said
Speaker 2: I want to do a podcasts.
Speaker 1: Nope, because at that time I was not ready to
Speaker 1: do a podcast. But after my conversation with Tony or whatever,
Speaker 1: it was great. So I was like, yeah, no, it
Speaker 1: happened in the way I was supposed to. I got
Speaker 1: peeling face going on which I'm not excited about. I
Speaker 1: had a facial, not like the movies like the people
Speaker 1: watch on their phones and stuff, but like a facial
Speaker 1: like with acid or something. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: It burns the skin off your face.
Speaker 2: From the dermatologists.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't look for her license. I should have,
Speaker 1: but it again, that's another reason why maybe it wasn't
Speaker 1: supposed to be today. Maybe that was that was God's thing. Man,
Speaker 1: He was like, no, not today, No you want to,
Speaker 1: but you're gonna wait.
Speaker 2: And maybe there's something bigger right coming out of it.
Speaker 2: We don't know, or maybe it was just that you.
Speaker 3: It really was that you needed that that talk with
Speaker 3: that person you know and your soul to you know,
Speaker 3: just state where you are. Because you were also laughing too,
Speaker 3: which was good for us to hear because knowing that
Speaker 3: you were hurt and disappointed when you got back here
Speaker 3: and then to hear you guys laughing and that other
Speaker 3: person their laugh is just you can't help but kind
Speaker 3: of giggle too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it was. It was good. And so just
Speaker 1: if you have those things not go your way and yeah,
Speaker 1: but this is the biggest day ever. This is the
Speaker 1: biggest just pose it, pump the brakes because you might
Speaker 1: look back one day and thank God that that didn't
Speaker 1: go that way, or you know, we were talking about
Speaker 1: something in Mitch was saying his mom was almost at
Speaker 1: the walmart here in Traverse City when the stabbing happened
Speaker 1: and she needed to go to pick up a prescription
Speaker 1: or something. But then there was some other stuff that
Speaker 1: happened and it derailed her and she ended up going
Speaker 1: that day. But that's a good thing. Even though that
Speaker 1: day she was pissed because she wanted to go pick
Speaker 1: up her prescription so that she didn't have to mess
Speaker 1: with it the next day. But in reality she's like, whoa,
Speaker 1: I'm glad I had to do with that other bs.
Speaker 1: But at the time she was like pissed.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, and I think we, well, most of us,
Speaker 3: that happens, right, We.
Speaker 1: Have a plan, especially me. I mean, your husband's the
Speaker 1: same way.
Speaker 3: This is the plan, and I don't want something diverts
Speaker 3: me from that plan.
Speaker 1: It's the worst thing ever, but there's you.
Speaker 3: Know, for whatever reason, there's reasons that that it happens.
Speaker 3: I'm not all he's looking at them reasons right then
Speaker 3: or thankful. Most of the time, I can just kind
Speaker 3: of carry on and go with the flow. But there's
Speaker 3: times I get I get frustrated too, and then I
Speaker 3: fight it and then I waste more energy then.
Speaker 1: But I have I guess four months of seven years
Speaker 1: and I still have not thought about drinking as a
Speaker 1: way to solve a frustration or an anger, or a
Speaker 1: disappointment or a heartbreak or a loss whatever. I have
Speaker 1: not one time has it popped into my brain. Hey man,
Speaker 1: let's go get drunk now.
Speaker 2: That's a good thing for sure.
Speaker 1: Even when Martie and I had our first fight and
Speaker 1: it was misunderstanding, but like we slept in different rooms
Speaker 1: that night, like I was like, and she was like.
Speaker 1: And I drove to a meeting of an hour and
Speaker 1: a half away the next day because I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm still films some kind of why. I knew to
Speaker 1: go hit a meeting. So I did, and it was
Speaker 1: on my way back, I hit two meetings, I ad
Speaker 1: AA and then at NA. On the way home, that's
Speaker 1: when it hit me that, oh, my god, dude, you
Speaker 1: did not one time think about drinking. Old me would
Speaker 1: have been, oh, this is all your fault. You made
Speaker 1: me drink because you said this, and I did this
Speaker 1: and it's your fault. This one was like no, no, no.
Speaker 1: And then I got back and I was excited and
Speaker 1: I was like Marnie, oh my god, like look, I
Speaker 1: just realized, like I did not want to. But early on,
Speaker 1: when you when you make those I don't want to
Speaker 1: those huge changes, they're monumental, they're huge. And when you
Speaker 1: can notice that you didn't think about drinking, holy shit,
Speaker 1: Like it's like mind blowing. It's working. It's like when
Speaker 1: you start a diet and then two months later you
Speaker 1: jump on the scale and you lost twenty pounds, like shit,
Speaker 1: it's working. You don't see it every day, but it's working,
Speaker 1: you know, and you're eating healthier, you know, like if
Speaker 1: you're eating ice cream every day and nachos and French
Speaker 1: fries or whatever, what do you think is going to happen?
Speaker 1: But if you're being responsible responsible, But if you're just
Speaker 1: eating healthy you know, chicken, you're putting.
Speaker 3: In that little effort of work into it. And and
Speaker 3: it's everything that we do in life recovery, being in shape,
Speaker 3: eating a better and sometimes eating a different diet. It
Speaker 3: might not all be about just to lose weight or this.
Speaker 3: It might be about because some foods affect.
Speaker 2: Me a certain way, or I break out in a
Speaker 2: reaction when.
Speaker 3: I eat I think people like when people eat bread
Speaker 3: or they eat certain type of nuts like peanut butter.
Speaker 2: Oh, that went the wrong way anyways.
Speaker 3: Sometimes they assume all black people are from African and America.
Speaker 2: Y'ad just sometimes changes my words around.
Speaker 1: And that's how you know you're special.
Speaker 2: Yep, I'm not perfect. I's got to practice that.
Speaker 1: Favorite drop of but I had to hit it sparingly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and make sure I'm deep into the episodes so people
Speaker 1: understand us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I won't ever live that one down.
Speaker 1: I think you have to explain it every time, don't you?
Speaker 1: Or don't you there you are? Don't you?
Speaker 2: I don't want to Nope.
Speaker 1: There's an episode with Marnie.
Speaker 2: She left me solo out there.
Speaker 1: I think she had to go change Parker in the
Speaker 1: bedroom and then you were out there and just got
Speaker 1: to go in.
Speaker 2: I was trying to explain this training that we were at, and.
Speaker 1: I was like being like, I don't know, not very
Speaker 1: friendly or I was like trying to be I don't
Speaker 1: know what I was trying to do. I was trying
Speaker 1: to be something I'm sure as He's the one.
Speaker 3: That I got to sit there all day with Jesse
Speaker 3: and Parker and have fun. And me and Marnie have
Speaker 3: to go and put on our face and two seventeen
Speaker 3: recovery and eat this rapp Peek cafeteria food that wasn't
Speaker 3: lancing or something, wasn't it.
Speaker 2: I have no idea where this was.
Speaker 1: No Jackson, didn't we do it? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Because then we did the escape room. Yeah, that was fun.
Speaker 1: Wells we got out thanks to Marnie, I think and
Speaker 1: everybody else. I didn't do anything. The first couple of minutes,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can do this. I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: This is the first couple of minutes. It was dark,
Speaker 3: and when Parker starts crying, we were like, I don't know.
Speaker 3: That was fun, but it's a lot. Yeah, look for
Speaker 3: this over here in this hole in the wall, and
Speaker 3: then this and I don't know how to read between
Speaker 3: the lines.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we shouldn't started hitting the clue button right from
Speaker 1: the start. All right, what's next, what's next? What's next?
Speaker 1: Because some of that stuff was like we're looking all
Speaker 1: over dumb stuff now. But we did it, and we
Speaker 1: have fun. That part was fun, and that's what I
Speaker 1: hope you take away from this podcast is sometimes you
Speaker 1: might not think you're having a good time, but really
Speaker 1: on the other end, you are. You just don't know
Speaker 1: it yet.
Speaker 3: I like something that you said today, You said, why
Speaker 3: am I not having a good day?
Speaker 2: Maybe I am, and I just don't know it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did say that, didn't im because it could
Speaker 1: be a lot worse. I guarantee you there's millions of
Speaker 1: people out there right now that would trade places with
Speaker 1: me in a heartbeat, right now, at this very minute,
Speaker 1: and I know that I appreciate it, and I have health,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate all the stuff that God's done for
Speaker 1: me and that he allowed me to make it through
Speaker 1: the addiction to alcohol and to have an actual life
Speaker 1: and to be married and to have a son, and
Speaker 1: it's pretty cool. So God, thank you, because I could
Speaker 1: have done it without God.
Speaker 2: No me neither. I am.
Speaker 3: Just like all the stuff that has happened over my
Speaker 3: time in sobriety ten and a half years, it just
Speaker 3: I didn't have God. I I definitely probably wouldn't be
Speaker 3: here right now either. And right now I'm kind of
Speaker 3: going through this whole really trying to lean into my
Speaker 3: God of my understanding and rely on him to, I
Speaker 3: don't know, kind of show me some relief or guidance
Speaker 3: on I mean, my daughter's gonna be eighteen and less
Speaker 3: than thirty days, and I'm in the process of kind
Speaker 3: of writing a blog about this about how you know,
Speaker 3: I've been saying for all these years, almost eighteen years,
Speaker 3: I've been saying, I can't wait until she's eighteen and
Speaker 3: I'm free and.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do what I want. And now I'm just, honestly,
Speaker 2: the more and more I'm fucking scared.
Speaker 1: For her or for you all above Just all you
Speaker 1: know is you have a scared feeling.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because I definitely can't save her protector.
Speaker 2: I have to let her go fully.
Speaker 1: Or you could buy some chains. Well you don't have
Speaker 1: a basement yet, me buy some shovels.
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to get kidnapping.
Speaker 1: What's your kid something you Yeah, you can kidnap your
Speaker 1: kidne yet offser When I put the chain's honors, who's seventeen? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I lost the key? Oops. Yeah, Well, the scared thing
Speaker 1: is something that I definitely can relate to, but that'll
Speaker 1: have to be saved for another episode. But God, thank
Speaker 1: you I know you're listening. You're a big fan. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you for everything you've done in my life and
Speaker 1: the way it's turned around. As the Lord, I give
Speaker 1: you the credit me too.
Speaker 2: Thanks Day of sobriety.
Speaker 1: And until next time, peas out checking your Thanks for
Speaker 1: listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Listen to over
Speaker 1: nine hundred episodes on the two seventeen Recovery app that's
Speaker 1: free in your app store or online at two seventeen Recovery,
Speaker 1: The Dumm