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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI

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<v Speaker 1>AM six forty.

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<v Speaker 2>Kf I am six forty. You have Dr Wendy Walsh

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<v Speaker 2>with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. Right now.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd like to welcome my Instagram audience. If you're on Instagram,

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<v Speaker 2>just log on right now search Doctor Wendy Walsh and

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<v Speaker 2>you can come on in the studio and see what

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<v Speaker 2>we do here. This is the time of the show

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<v Speaker 2>where I am taking your relationship questions by phone or

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<v Speaker 2>answering in social media on DMS. If you'd like to

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<v Speaker 2>give us a call, the numbers one eight hundred five

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<v Speaker 2>two zero one five three four. That's one eight hundred

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<v Speaker 2>five two zero one five three four. Okay, Producer Kayla,

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<v Speaker 2>who do we have on the line. We have Dell

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<v Speaker 2>with the question Dell.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, Dell.

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<v Speaker 2>It's doctor Wendy.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi there, how are you good?

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<v Speaker 2>What's your question? Love? So?

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<v Speaker 3>My question is is it a bad thing if a

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<v Speaker 3>male has a female partner who is significantly more attractive

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<v Speaker 3>than them? And is there any advice you'd give to

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<v Speaker 3>this couple where though female is significantly more attractive than

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<v Speaker 3>the male.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So, dell. Let me tell you this, It doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>matter what you think the world thinks about how attractive

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<v Speaker 2>the male might be, how attractive the female might be.

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<v Speaker 2>None of that is as important as what the person

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<v Speaker 2>feels they are. And so if a guy is, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>on the scale of one to ten by society's weirdo standards, five,

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<v Speaker 2>and he meets a girl who's a seven, if she

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<v Speaker 2>thinks she's a four, he's the luckiest man in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>And there are guys who are fives who think they're

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<v Speaker 2>tens and they are in Life is a self fulfilling prophecy.

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<v Speaker 2>Life is a self fulfilling prophecy. So if you believe

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<v Speaker 2>in yourself, then other people will believe it to you know.

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<v Speaker 2>I was doing some reading this weekend the founder, the

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<v Speaker 2>sociologist who's the founder of the whole theory of self

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<v Speaker 2>fulfilling prophecy, he himself was. He was born in nineteen

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<v Speaker 2>ten in South Philly. He was a son of Eastern

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<v Speaker 2>European immigrants, and he felt discrimination, so he changed his

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<v Speaker 2>name to be more American sounding, and he took up

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<v Speaker 2>as a teenager magic tricks, and he realized something about

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<v Speaker 2>magic that the audiences actually finished the illusion in their

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<v Speaker 2>heads before he'd even finished doing the trick, meaning like

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<v Speaker 2>they wanted to believe, they wanted the show. So how

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<v Speaker 2>does this apply to romantic lives? If you have self

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<v Speaker 2>confidence and you believe in yourself, you will be more

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<v Speaker 2>attractive to more people because they are your audience and

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<v Speaker 2>they want to believe. But it starts with something that

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<v Speaker 2>comes from inside you. First, Thank you so much for

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<v Speaker 2>calling Dell. It's a pleasure. Okay, Yes, we have Debbie

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<v Speaker 2>with a question. Debbie. Hi, Debbie, it's Dr Wendy.

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<v Speaker 4>Wendy So nice to hear your voice and talk to you.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you. Nice to hear you too. So what's your question?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh gosh, I've been I've been single for at least

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<v Speaker 4>ten years in my last committed relationship with fifteen years ago,

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<v Speaker 4>and I just don't know how to get over my past,

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<v Speaker 4>hurts to put myself out there again. I have a

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<v Speaker 4>really bad picker.

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<v Speaker 2>Picker. Yeah, so we like to colloquially call it a

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<v Speaker 2>bad picker, when actually psychologists might say that you're reliving

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<v Speaker 2>old trauma. Right, So we all have this idea for

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<v Speaker 2>what love is in our head. Psychologists would call it

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<v Speaker 2>a working model. For love. That's their psychobabble, right, And

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<v Speaker 2>if our early life, and often this is when we

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<v Speaker 2>were pre verbal, and we don't remember if there was

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<v Speaker 2>feelings of loss or hurt or pain. In some way,

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<v Speaker 2>our brain decides that that's what love is, and that's

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<v Speaker 2>what love should feel like. And so it creates a picker,

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<v Speaker 2>as I like to say, it takes us right back

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<v Speaker 2>to the scene of the crime, over and over.

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<v Speaker 3>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>I had an anxious, ambivalent attachment style for most of

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<v Speaker 2>my adult life, and literally, if a guy treated me badly,

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<v Speaker 2>I liked him more. It was heartbreaking. I was thinking

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<v Speaker 2>about this. I had a big white Catholic wedding for

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<v Speaker 2>my mother when I was like twenty one, and the

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<v Speaker 2>guy I married of his short college marriage. The guy

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<v Speaker 2>I married, I remember the first night I met. He

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<v Speaker 2>and his friends out at a club and he came

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<v Speaker 2>back with a round of drinks and you know what

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<v Speaker 2>he said. He said, Oh, I guess when Wendy gets

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<v Speaker 2>around to buying around, the bar will be closed. And

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<v Speaker 2>I married him and that was the first thing he said, like,

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<v Speaker 2>you better pay up. And I did pay up in

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<v Speaker 2>all kinds of ways.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 2>So, Debbie, my answer to you is get into good therapy,

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<v Speaker 2>perhaps with a psychoanalytic therapy bist. Ask them what their

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<v Speaker 2>style is somebody who knows attachment theory. I promise you

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<v Speaker 2>there's somebody for you when you're ready. I was a

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<v Speaker 2>single mom, Debbie for twenty years, and I found the

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<v Speaker 2>love of my life towards the end of my empty

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<v Speaker 2>nest time when I was ready. Right, And I think

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<v Speaker 2>he's out there when you're ready. But you might have

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<v Speaker 2>to do the work and go to therapy like I did.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's very important. Thank you for calling. I

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<v Speaker 2>appreciate it. Thank you all right. Let me head over

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<v Speaker 2>to social media because people have been sending dms too.

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<v Speaker 2>If you'd like to call, the number is one eight

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<v Speaker 2>hundred five two zero one KFI. That's one eight hundred

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<v Speaker 2>five to zero one KFI. Dear doctor, Wendy says this listener.

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<v Speaker 2>My ex left a week ago. Oh, I'm left. I

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<v Speaker 2>guess you're already calling her an ex, not my And

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<v Speaker 2>now she's texting me that she loves me and hopes

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing well. Is she trying to come back? No? No, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>what she's doing. If she left, then she wanted to leave,

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<v Speaker 2>and now she feels guilty and yes, she loved you.

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<v Speaker 2>You can actually leave someone you love. Did you know

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<v Speaker 2>that you can actually say this person, I love this

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<v Speaker 2>person a lot, I care about them. They're not good

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<v Speaker 2>for me and this is not where I want to

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<v Speaker 2>be in the long term or my future. She's missing you,

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<v Speaker 2>but that doesn't mean she wants to get back with you.

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<v Speaker 2>Plenty of people have feelings of ambivalence right after a breakup.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people break up because they want to test the

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<v Speaker 2>mating marketplace and step on out there and see what

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<v Speaker 2>it is. And they go on one bad date and

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<v Speaker 2>they're like, I missed that person who knew me and

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<v Speaker 2>was nice to me, right, or maybe they want to

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<v Speaker 2>keep you as a backup mate. I would say if

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<v Speaker 2>she's texting you one week later saying I love you.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope you're doing okay, she's not saying can we

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<v Speaker 2>get together? Can we talk? I think I've made a

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<v Speaker 2>big mistake. Let's go to a couple's therapy. Let's work

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<v Speaker 2>on our relationship. That's a different conversation, not just a

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<v Speaker 2>missing you that's about her loss. Because remember, even if

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<v Speaker 2>you know when a breakup happens, it's a deep feeling

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<v Speaker 2>of loss. It feels like losing a leg. I mean

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<v Speaker 2>that leg might have had gangerine it was time to go,

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<v Speaker 2>but you still lose miss that leg. Right, So in

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<v Speaker 2>the same way, I would be cautious about texts that

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<v Speaker 2>just say I miss you and I love you instead

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<v Speaker 2>of let's get together. I really want to talk about this.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm in a mistake. We need to go to therapy.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's work on things, okay when we come back. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to continue to take your calls and answer your

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<v Speaker 2>questions from social media. The handle is at doctor Wendy

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<v Speaker 2>Walsh at Dr Wendy Walsh. The phone number is one

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<v Speaker 2>eight hundred five two zero one KFI. That's one eight

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<v Speaker 2>hundred five two zero one five three four. You're listening

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<v Speaker 2>to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on KFI AM six forty.

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<v Speaker 2>Were live everywhere on the Iheartradioky if I am six forty,

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<v Speaker 2>you have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the

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<v Speaker 2>Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I'm heading to my social media

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<v Speaker 2>send me a DM. The handle is at doctor Wendy

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<v Speaker 2>Walsh at Dr Wendy Walsh, and I'll be happy to

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<v Speaker 2>answer your relationship question. Here from Instagram. This person tells

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<v Speaker 2>me that they're finally about to get married, but there

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<v Speaker 2>is an abusive uncle in their past that triggers them.

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<v Speaker 2>Somebody who was very abusive. Now grandma still has that

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<v Speaker 2>uncle living in the house with her. Grandma says, if

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<v Speaker 2>you don't invite uncle to your wedding, then I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>coming to your wedding. This is called emotional blackmail. It

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<v Speaker 2>is your wedding. It's probably costing you a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>money and time and energy. You have the right to

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<v Speaker 2>have whoever you want at your wedding. And if your

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<v Speaker 2>grandmother uses to collude with an abusive uncle either way,

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<v Speaker 2>does she know why You might want to tell her

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<v Speaker 2>then that that's her loss. It's her loss and the

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<v Speaker 2>uncle's loss. She's trying to emotionally blackmail you. It is

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<v Speaker 2>your wedding. Do what you want to do, all right.

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<v Speaker 2>So I was scrolling through my dms on Instagram, and

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<v Speaker 2>I found three different listeners as the same question three

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<v Speaker 2>different ways. So I want to read their three questions

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<v Speaker 2>and then I'll give one answer to explain them all.

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<v Speaker 2>The first listener says, my ex was emotionally abusive, and

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<v Speaker 2>yet I felt a wave of sadness when I saw

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<v Speaker 2>on social media that he's having a baby with someone else.

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<v Speaker 2>Why would I feel heartbroken over someone who hurt me?

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<v Speaker 2>It's the first one. The next listener says, why do

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<v Speaker 2>I sometimes still crave the love of somebody who made

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<v Speaker 2>me feel completely unlovable? And the third listener says, if

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<v Speaker 2>I miss someone who treated me poorly, does that mean

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't healed or is that just part of being human? Okay, So,

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<v Speaker 2>as I said a little earlier, breakups are a loss.

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<v Speaker 2>Our relationships are our emotional lifeline for many people who

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<v Speaker 2>have an insecure attachment style. Though we attach ourselves to

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<v Speaker 2>people who may hurt us, but it's still an emotional lifeline.

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<v Speaker 2>It's still a piece of who we are and were.

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<v Speaker 2>So the first listener says, why would I feel heartbroken? Who?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh this her excess having a baby with someone else

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<v Speaker 2>over someone who hurt me? Because there is a solusion

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<v Speaker 2>that they've found happiness and you're the problem. But I

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<v Speaker 2>promise you the best predictor of somebody's future behavior is

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<v Speaker 2>their past behavior. And if there's any feeling that I

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<v Speaker 2>think would be more fair to experience, it is empathy

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<v Speaker 2>for her is pregnant girlfriend or wife. Right, So it's

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<v Speaker 2>because you're still he's a He's an object. He's a unique,

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<v Speaker 2>convenient object for your feelings, right, And using this object

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<v Speaker 2>to go and tell the story to a licensed therapist

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<v Speaker 2>is the thing that can help you heal. And the

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<v Speaker 2>other listener, why do sometimes still crave the love of

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<v Speaker 2>someone who made us feel unlovable? Well, nobody makes you

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<v Speaker 2>feel anything, right, Those feelings are already inside you. You

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<v Speaker 2>chose somebody to help amplify those feelings. So this is

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<v Speaker 2>not blaming you. It's all on conscious right. But your

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<v Speaker 2>attachment style is aligned towards trauma. We call these traumatic bonds. Right.

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<v Speaker 2>And the third listener who says, does it mean I

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<v Speaker 2>haven't healed or is it just part of being human? Well,

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<v Speaker 2>it's a little bit of both, right. I mean, loss

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<v Speaker 2>is painful, we have to learn how to tolerate loss.

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<v Speaker 2>But also if you're still pining away for somebody who

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<v Speaker 2>is very hurtful, that means you haven't healed entirely. Right,

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<v Speaker 2>similar question, The next listener says, everyone says I dodged

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<v Speaker 2>a bullet when I left my ex, But why does

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<v Speaker 2>it still feel like rejection? Back to what I said earlier,

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<v Speaker 2>breakups hurt. Relationships become part of our actual identity, and

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<v Speaker 2>when we split in two, it's like we've lost a

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<v Speaker 2>piece of ourselves. You know, when you're in a relationship, well,

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<v Speaker 2>let's assume it's a healthy one, you share the emotional

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<v Speaker 2>work of life. You also may share the physical labor

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<v Speaker 2>of life. I know this firsthand now because I was

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<v Speaker 2>a single mom for twenty years where I was doing

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<v Speaker 2>the work of mother and father and I was exhausted.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I meet this guy who's a true fifty

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<v Speaker 2>percent partner and we're sharing everything, and my life feels

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<v Speaker 2>so easy now. I almost feel guilty. It's so easy, right,

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<v Speaker 2>And so that's how a good, secure relationship should feel like.

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<v Speaker 2>But when you break up, whether relationship was good or

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<v Speaker 2>bad or ran its course or whatever, you lose half

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<v Speaker 2>a brain in some way, and you have to build

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<v Speaker 2>the neurotransmitters of being a single person again and getting

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<v Speaker 2>everything done, the thinking, the feeling, and the labor right.

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<v Speaker 2>So it does feel loss like a loss, It feels

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<v Speaker 2>like rejection. Even though you did dodge a bullet. Trust

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<v Speaker 2>your friends, you did dodge a bullet. Gosh, it's the

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<v Speaker 2>theme that's happening to everyone seems to be writing the

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<v Speaker 2>same question in different words. Listen to this listener, Dear

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<v Speaker 2>doctor Wendy, I'm in a new relationship because sometimes I

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<v Speaker 2>still think about my ex, not because I want him back,

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<v Speaker 2>but because I don't understand how he moved on so easily.

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<v Speaker 2>Should I tell my partner? No, this is you and

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<v Speaker 2>your issue that is going to raise so much sexual

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<v Speaker 2>jealousy or historical jealousy or whatever. Don't even It's like

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<v Speaker 2>bringing a third person into the relationship, even if it

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<v Speaker 2>only is your imagination. Right. Closure that's so interesting. This

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<v Speaker 2>next listener asks me, is closure something you get from

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<v Speaker 2>someone else or something you create yourself? I will tell

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<v Speaker 2>you you will never get it from someone else. It's

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<v Speaker 2>like getting a forced apology, right, you say you're sorry, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry. How good did that feel? Right? It doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>whin and it's extracted. Extracted apologies don't feel good, just

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<v Speaker 2>like extracted closure. You don't need closure. You don't need

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<v Speaker 2>to know why. You just need to work things out.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, one time I had an ex boyfriend call

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<v Speaker 2>me Goes. I'm in therapy and I have some questions

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<v Speaker 2>about what happened at the end of our relationship. You

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<v Speaker 2>said this, and you said that, and what did that mean?

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<v Speaker 2>And I had so moved on at that point. It

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't my business to help him heal. He has a

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<v Speaker 2>therapist he can talk to. This had to do with

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<v Speaker 2>him and his feelings.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 2>You do not get closure from somebody else. You create

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<v Speaker 2>closure within yourself. All right. One more quick question before

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<v Speaker 2>we go. Dear doctor Wendy, what's worse the moment you

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<v Speaker 2>find out they cheated for the moment, oh, you realize

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<v Speaker 2>that you knew deep down all along. I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>about worse or better, but I will say that when

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<v Speaker 2>you realize that you knew all along, that's called insight

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<v Speaker 2>into your own feelings and your own experience, and then

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<v Speaker 2>you can prevent it next time because now you have

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<v Speaker 2>self awareness. I think that's a great gift. To realize

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<v Speaker 2>you knew deep down all along. You gain some insight

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<v Speaker 2>into yourself. I'm sorry it happened to you, all right.

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<v Speaker 2>If you have questions relationship questions, you can always send

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<v Speaker 2>me dms on Instagram during the week. The handle is

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<v Speaker 2>at doctor Wendy Walsh. When we come back. How to

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<v Speaker 2>shut up your brain when you're making love. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>some people have a chatty cathy in their head and

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<v Speaker 2>it's keeping them from really enjoying themselves. Let's talk about

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<v Speaker 2>it when we come back. I feel called out, I

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<v Speaker 2>feel are you in my mind right now?

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<v Speaker 1>My gosh?

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<v Speaker 2>Wait, do you check your phone during sex? Because people

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<v Speaker 2>mentioned that they do in one study. I would never no,

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<v Speaker 2>I know. Even Kayla's shocked, her gasping.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, you're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on demand

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<v Speaker 1>from KFI AM six forty.

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<v Speaker 2>Kf I am six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh

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<v Speaker 2>with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show how

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<v Speaker 2>to shut up your brain when you're making love. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just gonna say it. Have you ever been with

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<v Speaker 2>your partner in an intimate way and you found yourself

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<v Speaker 2>doing your to do list for the next day, maybe

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<v Speaker 2>planning your kids' schedules, thinking about work projects, hopefully not

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<v Speaker 2>checking out your fingernails and your manicure, or worse, are

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<v Speaker 2>you thinking about the sex like your partner's pleasure, your pleasure?

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<v Speaker 2>Should we do this, should we do that? Et cetera.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I remember when I was pregnant with my

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<v Speaker 2>first child and I read every book on pregnancy and delivery.

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<v Speaker 2>There was one sentence in one of them that really

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<v Speaker 2>stood out because you know, here I was this intellectual,

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<v Speaker 2>thinking person and I wanted to think through everything about

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<v Speaker 2>labor and delivery. And the sentence in the book said,

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<v Speaker 2>delivering a baby is about putting your intellect aside and

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<v Speaker 2>letting the animal out, the animal inside you. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>mean the baby, I mean the animal that lives inside you.

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<v Speaker 2>Let natural reflexes do their work. But plenty of people worry,

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<v Speaker 2>They worry, they think they're half there. There was a

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<v Speaker 2>study that came out a few years ago where young

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<v Speaker 2>people admitted whatever they were gen z xyzu, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>They admitted that ten percent of people check their phones

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<v Speaker 2>during sex. Crazy. Crazy, Look, all sexual relationships change over time.

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<v Speaker 2>You're not supposed to be a swinging from chandeliers and

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<v Speaker 2>French made costumes was ten years after you've been together.

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<v Speaker 2>Although if you are, that's great. I'm so happy for you.

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<v Speaker 2>That's wonderful. But you know, at the beginning, there's a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of neural hormones on your brain. It's so easy

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<v Speaker 2>to get in the mood, it's so easy to have

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<v Speaker 2>spontaneous sex, and as a result, when things start to change,

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<v Speaker 2>people think there's something wrong in a relationship. I was

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<v Speaker 2>reading this article today from the website very Well mined

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<v Speaker 2>verywellmind dot com, one of my favorite websites, and this

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<v Speaker 2>particular article addressed these chronic overthinkers in bed and the

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<v Speaker 2>authors say that today many couples report feeling mentally absent

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<v Speaker 2>during sex. They're physically present, but emotionally they're tuned out.

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<v Speaker 2>They're too much in their head and this is kind

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<v Speaker 2>of actually the reason why couples lose their spark. In

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<v Speaker 2>the article, a certified sex therapist, Heather Shannon was quoted

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<v Speaker 2>and she said, instead of feeling your partner skin or

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<v Speaker 2>connecting through touch, you're wondering if they're turned off, or

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<v Speaker 2>you're wondering whether you venmo your babysitter. Right. There's also

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<v Speaker 2>recent research I read published in the Journal of Sex

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<v Speaker 2>and Marital Therapy that showed that sexual distractions, whether body image, worries,

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<v Speaker 2>that's a big one with women. By the way body

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<v Speaker 2>look at dudes do not care. You care more than

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<v Speaker 2>they care. Trust me. I remember years ago, was a

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<v Speaker 2>young man, but he was talking about breast implants and

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<v Speaker 2>he said, I guess some guy had said, oh, I

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<v Speaker 2>like them naturally, and he just said, look, if they're there,

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<v Speaker 2>they're real. That's all guys care about. If they're there,

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<v Speaker 2>they're real. It doesn't matter. If you're there, you're real.

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<v Speaker 2>You're a woman, right. There is some worries sometimes about

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<v Speaker 2>performance anxiety that more often affects men, the body image

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<v Speaker 2>stuff more often affects women. The performance anxiety expects me.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you leave this unchecked, you're going to find

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<v Speaker 2>that your relationship is going to continue to become more disconnected.

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<v Speaker 2>There is research to show that couples who report low

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<v Speaker 2>sexual satisfaction are also more likely to experience the emotional distance,

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<v Speaker 2>lower relationship satisfaction, and eventually a higher likelihood of divorce.

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<v Speaker 2>Now I need to pause here to say that there

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<v Speaker 2>is a thing called mature companionate love. If you've been

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<v Speaker 2>together for decades, you don't have to be rocking it

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<v Speaker 2>every single week. And in fact, sex itself may take

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<v Speaker 2>a different form. I have friends because of health issues

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<v Speaker 2>say that they don't have intercourse. They have outer course.

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<v Speaker 2>It may be affection, it may not involve orgasm. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>women after menopause, their hormones decline by the way. There

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<v Speaker 2>is medical things you can do. Ladies, go see your gun.

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<v Speaker 2>At the age of forty, forty percent of men experience

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<v Speaker 2>a rectileless function at the age of fifty fifty percent

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<v Speaker 2>of the age of six sixty sixty percent, et cetera,

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<v Speaker 2>et cetera. If you're dating somebody who's seventy, just go

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<v Speaker 2>to the movies, right, Caleb, are you laughing? But the

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<v Speaker 2>real problem that happens in relationships isn't lack of physical intimacy.

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<v Speaker 2>It's lack of emotional intimacy. And if you could have

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<v Speaker 2>conversations about this, it would be so much better. Right now,

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<v Speaker 2>how do you really fix it? Well, one of the

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<v Speaker 2>things you can do is practice mental foreplay. Literally, think

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<v Speaker 2>about something sexy in your head, get in the mood,

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<v Speaker 2>get aroused, and guys, I just want to say this,

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<v Speaker 2>scheduled sex is sexy for women and for you. Spontaneous

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<v Speaker 2>nonsense is not happening anymore. Okay, there's a lot women

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<v Speaker 2>have to do to get paired for this. Okay, you

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<v Speaker 2>don't need to know all this stuff, but we need to. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>fourplay could take three days for women. It might involve

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<v Speaker 2>getting a new scented candle, maybe some new underwear, getting

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<v Speaker 2>a whax somewhere. There's all kinds of things that she

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<v Speaker 2>has to do to get ready, so putting it on

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<v Speaker 2>the schedule is not a bad idea. Right mindfulness. There's

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<v Speaker 2>actually a study from the Journal of Sex Research that

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<v Speaker 2>says practicing mindful awareness, focusing on your five senses right

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<v Speaker 2>can increase arousal and sexual satisfaction. And this is basically

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<v Speaker 2>getting out of your head and into your body. One

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<v Speaker 2>of the things I know this is TMI. I'm about

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<v Speaker 2>to give you, t M, I too much information when

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<v Speaker 2>I'm starting to become aroused, A yawn a lot, a

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<v Speaker 2>yawn a lot. And Julio used to say, what am

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<v Speaker 2>I boring you? And I just it's my way of relaxing.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm getting into my body, out of my head, and

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<v Speaker 2>I relax. That's the way it is. Don't rush the journey. Uh.

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<v Speaker 2>If you think your sex life is gonna look like

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<v Speaker 2>any scene from a Hollywood movie, you are so wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, there's no foreplay in Hollywood. I crack up.

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<v Speaker 2>Every time the actor comes, he slams her against the wall,

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<v Speaker 2>he lifts up her dress. There's penetration I'm like, it

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<v Speaker 2>never happens like that anywhere anytime in life. That looks

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<v Speaker 2>like pain to me. That looks like rape to me. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>that is not so just don't rush it. Lots and

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<v Speaker 2>lots of foreplay. Also, don't define sex as an orgasm.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the biggest mistake people make. There's no such

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<v Speaker 2>thing as bad sex. As my motto, no such thing

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<v Speaker 2>as bad sex. If your whole idea is it's not

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<v Speaker 2>a good sex unless there's orgasm, You're gonna have a

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<v Speaker 2>hard time having long term monogamy. Okay, because sometimes it's

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<v Speaker 2>just being tender and talking and touching each other. I

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<v Speaker 2>do want to say you should talk to each other

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<v Speaker 2>about sex too, You guys, you can't like just play

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<v Speaker 2>around in the dark and hope things will work out.

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<v Speaker 2>You need to have conversations, all right, and let your

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<v Speaker 2>partner talk, let them say what they need to say,

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<v Speaker 2>and do that not in the bedroom, do that somewhere else.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, you also might consider seeing a sex therapist. They're great,

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<v Speaker 2>they're licensed with a sect. SAM. What does ASEX stand

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<v Speaker 2>for American Associated? He's gone? SAM is a sex therapist?

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<v Speaker 2>Are you a sex therapist? S? Are you a sex certified. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>a sex certification. He's a double he's a double talent.

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<v Speaker 2>Here he's a sound therapist licensing PhD and human sexuality.

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<v Speaker 1>Yay.

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<v Speaker 2>And so what does ASEX stand for again? American Association

415
00:25:49.799 --> 00:25:53.720
<v Speaker 2>of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. There you go as sect.

416
00:25:54.079 --> 00:25:55.680
<v Speaker 2>That's all you do is you ask somebody, well, you

417
00:25:55.720 --> 00:26:00.160
<v Speaker 2>call Sam is what you do and then and he

418
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:02.000
<v Speaker 2>will talk to you. How'd I do? By the way, Sam,

419
00:26:02.359 --> 00:26:06.039
<v Speaker 2>they do okay with that segment? Thank you? Good to note.

420
00:26:06.599 --> 00:26:09.839
<v Speaker 2>All right, when we come back, Uh, how does your

421
00:26:09.880 --> 00:26:14.559
<v Speaker 2>personality impact your love life? I mean really your personality type?

422
00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:17.480
<v Speaker 2>How can it influence what's going on in your romantic life?

423
00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:19.319
<v Speaker 2>Let's talk about it when we come back. You were

424
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:21.720
<v Speaker 2>listening to The Doctor Wendy Wall Show and KF I

425
00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:25.240
<v Speaker 2>am six forty with Live Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app

426
00:26:25.640 --> 00:26:31.559
<v Speaker 2>KFI use Doctor Wendy Walls with you. Is this the

427
00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:34.039
<v Speaker 2>home stretch of the Dr Wendy Wall Show? We made it?

428
00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:36.960
<v Speaker 2>Why does it go so fast? Breaking news should be

429
00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:37.640
<v Speaker 2>four hours?

430
00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:38.640
<v Speaker 3>Great content?

431
00:26:39.319 --> 00:26:39.559
<v Speaker 1>Hies.

432
00:26:40.240 --> 00:26:42.759
<v Speaker 2>I know I was thinking about this today because I

433
00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:50.279
<v Speaker 2>teach developmental psychology and I teach personality development. As part

434
00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:54.440
<v Speaker 2>of that, and we always talk about the Big five model,

435
00:26:54.519 --> 00:26:59.440
<v Speaker 2>the Big five personality traits. It is the most widely

436
00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:04.599
<v Speaker 2>respont infected framework in psychology that really kind of categorizes

437
00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:11.839
<v Speaker 2>people's personalities into five broad dimensions. Now it's not that

438
00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:15.200
<v Speaker 2>you only fall into one of those dimensions. Everybody has

439
00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:20.359
<v Speaker 2>all five, but to one degree or another. Right, So

440
00:27:20.839 --> 00:27:22.920
<v Speaker 2>let me explain. And by the way, it's used in

441
00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:26.720
<v Speaker 2>all kinds of psychological assessments. It's used in academic research,

442
00:27:26.799 --> 00:27:30.839
<v Speaker 2>it's used in workplace evaluations. I have a theory, by

443
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:34.759
<v Speaker 2>the way, that Trader Joe's. I don't know if it's true.

444
00:27:34.759 --> 00:27:37.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm making this up. Trader Joe's gives the Big five

445
00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:39.880
<v Speaker 2>personality tests because you ever notice that everybody who works

446
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:42.279
<v Speaker 2>at Trader Joe's is an extrovert. You get to that

447
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:45.920
<v Speaker 2>cashier and you have some tomato sauce with you, and

448
00:27:46.079 --> 00:27:48.359
<v Speaker 2>they have three different recipes that they need to tell

449
00:27:48.359 --> 00:27:49.799
<v Speaker 2>you about, and they need to say they had it

450
00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:53.359
<v Speaker 2>last week or whatever. I really think it is like

451
00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:56.359
<v Speaker 2>maybe they use Meyers Briggs, which is less respective, but

452
00:27:56.440 --> 00:27:58.759
<v Speaker 2>it can also look for that. All right, So let's

453
00:27:58.839 --> 00:28:02.240
<v Speaker 2>talk about what these five traits are. The five factor.

454
00:28:03.359 --> 00:28:06.680
<v Speaker 2>There's openness to experience, and that's people who are willing

455
00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:10.480
<v Speaker 2>to try new things, be imaginative, curious. If I had

456
00:28:10.519 --> 00:28:14.000
<v Speaker 2>to think of examples of people that might represent openness,

457
00:28:14.119 --> 00:28:18.559
<v Speaker 2>it might be people like Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, Lady Gaga,

458
00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:23.559
<v Speaker 2>those kinds of people. Then there's conscientiousness. Here's a little fact.

459
00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:31.680
<v Speaker 2>Conscientiousness rises in most people across the lifespan. This is

460
00:28:31.759 --> 00:28:37.240
<v Speaker 2>people who are organized, responsible, reliable, and goal oriented. Right

461
00:28:38.200 --> 00:28:40.400
<v Speaker 2>or Mine Granger from Harry Potter.

462
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:40.880
<v Speaker 4>Right.

463
00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:45.319
<v Speaker 2>And so I noticed, like I used to be sloppy.

464
00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:48.160
<v Speaker 2>I was, my room was not well whol always say

465
00:28:48.200 --> 00:28:50.799
<v Speaker 2>my room is still sloppy. Okay, So I was sloppy

466
00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:55.519
<v Speaker 2>in my work. I would shortcut things, And now I

467
00:28:56.359 --> 00:28:58.599
<v Speaker 2>dot my eyes and cross my t's and make sure

468
00:28:58.640 --> 00:29:04.240
<v Speaker 2>everything's perfect, because you know, I've learned that when you're sloppy,

469
00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:09.440
<v Speaker 2>it's more work later. Right, So conscientiousness tends to go up.

470
00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:13.880
<v Speaker 2>I should also tell you that students who are conscientious,

471
00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:17.559
<v Speaker 2>meaning they submit all their papers and homework on time,

472
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:21.359
<v Speaker 2>they make sure everything's been spell checked and written well,

473
00:29:21.480 --> 00:29:24.920
<v Speaker 2>et cetera, they tend to just do better and earn

474
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.720
<v Speaker 2>higher grades. They're conscientious. Then there's extraversion, and that looks

475
00:29:29.759 --> 00:29:35.240
<v Speaker 2>at our outgoing, energetic and being social social people that

476
00:29:35.400 --> 00:29:41.519
<v Speaker 2>might be Richard Branson, Miley Cyrus, Donald Trump. Agreeableness, So

477
00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:46.359
<v Speaker 2>some people are crimungeons. If you're low on agreeable agreeableness,

478
00:29:46.440 --> 00:29:48.559
<v Speaker 2>you're the person who's like, eh, I don't want to

479
00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:50.920
<v Speaker 2>go I don't like that person. I don't want to

480
00:29:51.000 --> 00:29:55.200
<v Speaker 2>do that. And then high on agreeableness is, hey, let's

481
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:57.680
<v Speaker 2>try it. We should trust them. They seem like a

482
00:29:57.799 --> 00:30:01.119
<v Speaker 2>nice person. If there's a gender divide, I will tell

483
00:30:01.160 --> 00:30:03.880
<v Speaker 2>you that women tend to score a little higher on

484
00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:07.799
<v Speaker 2>agreeableness and men score just not every man, Okay, those

485
00:30:07.880 --> 00:30:12.680
<v Speaker 2>is anecdotal evidence, but men in general little lower on agreeableness.

486
00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:15.720
<v Speaker 2>My girlfriends and I had a conversation one time. We

487
00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:18.400
<v Speaker 2>were traveling somewhere and we were saying how easy it

488
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:20.680
<v Speaker 2>is to travel with women, because like, oh, no you

489
00:30:20.799 --> 00:30:22.720
<v Speaker 2>go first, No you can cook today, No we'll go out,

490
00:30:22.759 --> 00:30:25.480
<v Speaker 2>it's fine, all good, all good, And guys like, no,

491
00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:27.839
<v Speaker 2>we got to catch the train at five, I want

492
00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:30.440
<v Speaker 2>everyone up by far we get to They're just like

493
00:30:31.039 --> 00:30:34.279
<v Speaker 2>so grumpy when you travel. Not my Houly, of course,

494
00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:40.079
<v Speaker 2>he's perfect. And the fifth dimension is neuroticism. This is

495
00:30:40.880 --> 00:30:46.039
<v Speaker 2>people who have strong feelings of anxiety, anger, sadness. I

496
00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:49.359
<v Speaker 2>always think of Woody Allen's characters in his movies as

497
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:56.640
<v Speaker 2>being highly neurotic. Right, So I usually ask the students

498
00:30:56.680 --> 00:30:58.119
<v Speaker 2>in my class and make them all take the Big

499
00:30:58.200 --> 00:31:01.680
<v Speaker 2>Five personality test and then them before I reveal my score,

500
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:06.799
<v Speaker 2>which dimensions they think I score highest on? And Kayla,

501
00:31:06.839 --> 00:31:11.079
<v Speaker 2>what do you think it is? What dimensions you score highest?

502
00:31:12.200 --> 00:31:14.880
<v Speaker 2>I think? Did you listen to them all? Did? I? Just?

503
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:17.640
<v Speaker 2>Were you reading something else I was posting on the website.

504
00:31:18.839 --> 00:31:21.319
<v Speaker 2>Go to the website see what you posted right now? Anyway,

505
00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:29.279
<v Speaker 2>it's extraversion, conscientiousness, and openness to new experience. Those are

506
00:31:29.319 --> 00:31:32.920
<v Speaker 2>my highest Yeah, makes sense. So let's talk about how

507
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:37.200
<v Speaker 2>these personality traits impact our love life. So somebody who

508
00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:41.640
<v Speaker 2>might be highest in openness might be the partner who

509
00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:47.920
<v Speaker 2>loves planning, you know, spontaneous weekends or getaways, exploring new ideas,

510
00:31:48.200 --> 00:31:52.720
<v Speaker 2>having deep late night conversations. Someone who's low in openness

511
00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:57.119
<v Speaker 2>might just want routine tradition, and those are the way

512
00:31:57.279 --> 00:32:00.960
<v Speaker 2>things are right, And so you have to respect your

513
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:05.920
<v Speaker 2>partner and understand that you are often attracted to somebody

514
00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:09.559
<v Speaker 2>who's completely opposite from you, because that's a piece you

515
00:32:09.759 --> 00:32:14.960
<v Speaker 2>want in yourself. Conscientiousness. So a conscientious person, this is

516
00:32:15.079 --> 00:32:21.559
<v Speaker 2>definitely Julio. He remembers birthdays, anniversaries, He has all these cards,

517
00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:25.440
<v Speaker 2>He goes card shopping, he writes important things, He follows

518
00:32:25.480 --> 00:32:31.880
<v Speaker 2>through on promises, He handles shared responsibilities. You know, I

519
00:32:32.119 --> 00:32:34.880
<v Speaker 2>used to help him do the dishes, but then he

520
00:32:35.039 --> 00:32:37.519
<v Speaker 2>told me I was doing it wrong. So there you go.

521
00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:39.960
<v Speaker 2>I sit there and finish my glass of wine and

522
00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:44.400
<v Speaker 2>watch him do the dishes. Extraversion. It's really interesting because

523
00:32:44.519 --> 00:32:49.359
<v Speaker 2>extroverts and introverts are often attracted to each other, largely

524
00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:53.079
<v Speaker 2>because introverts make a great audience and they're great listeners,

525
00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:55.000
<v Speaker 2>and they also wish they could be a little more

526
00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:58.200
<v Speaker 2>extroverted than the extroverted wishes they could bite their tongue more.

527
00:32:58.519 --> 00:33:03.079
<v Speaker 2>Trust me, we do. And then agreeableness. Somebody, as I mentioned,

528
00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:06.519
<v Speaker 2>who's highly in agreeable is a compromiser. They have lots

529
00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:12.519
<v Speaker 2>of empathy, they're good at resolving conflicts. Low end of agreeableness, argumentative, critical,

530
00:33:12.720 --> 00:33:20.240
<v Speaker 2>a little bit defensive, neuroticism, anxiety, worry about being abandoned, misreading,

531
00:33:20.519 --> 00:33:22.960
<v Speaker 2>texts that could be completely neutral. If you ever heard

532
00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:25.640
<v Speaker 2>somebody read a text and they said, oh, and they

533
00:33:25.720 --> 00:33:29.400
<v Speaker 2>said fine, we'll talk tomorrow, I said, how do you

534
00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:31.240
<v Speaker 2>know they use that tone of voice? Why is they're

535
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:35.079
<v Speaker 2>period and at an exclamation point? Right, they could have said, oh, fine,

536
00:33:35.559 --> 00:33:38.480
<v Speaker 2>we'll talk tomorrow then love, you know, like that fine?

537
00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:39.200
<v Speaker 3>Right?

538
00:33:39.720 --> 00:33:40.960
<v Speaker 2>By the way, if you want to take the Big

539
00:33:41.039 --> 00:33:43.759
<v Speaker 2>five test, it's online. It's very simple. It's Big five

540
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:47.839
<v Speaker 2>dash test dot com. That's pretty simple. Big five. Those

541
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:50.680
<v Speaker 2>are the words, not the number five, The word five,

542
00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:54.200
<v Speaker 2>Big five dash test dot Com. Now, I do want

543
00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:58.400
<v Speaker 2>to talk about those that are high in neuroticism. They

544
00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:02.440
<v Speaker 2>have a lot of anxiety, and they often sabotage their

545
00:34:02.759 --> 00:34:07.400
<v Speaker 2>romantic relationships. They might have mood swings, They might be

546
00:34:07.799 --> 00:34:13.920
<v Speaker 2>really sensitive and react very easily. So they blame often

547
00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:17.320
<v Speaker 2>their partners because their partners are making When I hear

548
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:20.119
<v Speaker 2>people say you made me feel that way, I'm going

549
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:23.880
<v Speaker 2>to remind everybody that no human can make another human

550
00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:28.400
<v Speaker 2>make They can't make them have a feeling. All the

551
00:34:28.519 --> 00:34:32.679
<v Speaker 2>feelings exist inside us, and feelings are very important. They

552
00:34:32.719 --> 00:34:36.280
<v Speaker 2>are messengers. They are messengers that things are going great,

553
00:34:36.679 --> 00:34:38.880
<v Speaker 2>and they are messengers that, hmm, we need to change

554
00:34:38.920 --> 00:34:41.599
<v Speaker 2>a few things. They're not going so great. But nobody

555
00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:46.360
<v Speaker 2>makes you have a feeling, right. But we do have

556
00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:49.639
<v Speaker 2>that one friend out there who's always worried that their

557
00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:52.920
<v Speaker 2>partner is with another partner cheating on them, that their

558
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:54.840
<v Speaker 2>partner doesn't love them as much as.

559
00:34:54.760 --> 00:34:55.360
<v Speaker 4>They love them.

560
00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:59.760
<v Speaker 2>And then what happens is life becomes this self fulfilling

561
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:04.239
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's so interesting. People say, I don't know

562
00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:06.960
<v Speaker 2>what it is, but every man I've been with cheated

563
00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:09.480
<v Speaker 2>on me. You know, you picked him and maybe you

564
00:35:09.599 --> 00:35:11.599
<v Speaker 2>drove him to cheat. I'm not blaming the victim here,

565
00:35:11.960 --> 00:35:16.079
<v Speaker 2>I'm just saying, you know, there's a reason. There's a reason.

566
00:35:17.320 --> 00:35:20.199
<v Speaker 2>So there actually is research on this. There's a new

567
00:35:20.239 --> 00:35:22.920
<v Speaker 2>study that was published in the Journal of Sexual and

568
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:27.039
<v Speaker 2>Relationship Therapy. I'm sure that Sam writes for this journal

569
00:35:27.079 --> 00:35:30.199
<v Speaker 2>all the time, and it maybe wrote this called Neuroticisms

570
00:35:30.639 --> 00:35:37.599
<v Speaker 2>Ties to Relationship satisfaction the role of conflict tactic behaviors. Okay,

571
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:41.000
<v Speaker 2>so that's awesome sounding already. I think you might have

572
00:35:41.039 --> 00:35:44.039
<v Speaker 2>written it. People high in neuroticism or anxiety are far

573
00:35:44.079 --> 00:35:49.400
<v Speaker 2>more likely to criticize their partner emotionally withdraw during conflict.

574
00:35:49.480 --> 00:35:51.679
<v Speaker 2>In John Gottman's work says that that's the worst thing.

575
00:35:51.960 --> 00:35:55.519
<v Speaker 2>Don't give them the silent treatment, use guilt as a

576
00:35:55.719 --> 00:36:01.199
<v Speaker 2>tool to manipulate somebody and escalate small arguments into big

577
00:36:01.679 --> 00:36:06.079
<v Speaker 2>blow ups. Is that you think about it, you criticize

578
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:09.360
<v Speaker 2>your partner. I'm a big believer, and you want to

579
00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:12.639
<v Speaker 2>water what you want to grow. Don't water the weeds,

580
00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:17.519
<v Speaker 2>water what you want to grow. That means, look, catch them,

581
00:36:17.559 --> 00:36:19.760
<v Speaker 2>be good, think about all the things that they do

582
00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:22.800
<v Speaker 2>that's wonderful, and compliment them and say it out loud.

583
00:36:22.840 --> 00:36:24.920
<v Speaker 2>Guess what they're going to do it more. But if

584
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:29.119
<v Speaker 2>you spend your time criticizing them. First of all, I'm

585
00:36:29.159 --> 00:36:31.880
<v Speaker 2>the type of personality that when people tell me I'm

586
00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:36.159
<v Speaker 2>doing something wrong, I literally do worse. I literally I

587
00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:38.280
<v Speaker 2>just want to show them, Oh yeah, you think this

588
00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:40.239
<v Speaker 2>is bad, let me show you how bad it can be. Right,

589
00:36:40.360 --> 00:36:44.840
<v Speaker 2>Like I just I don't change based on criticism. I

590
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:47.719
<v Speaker 2>wonder if there's a gender thing on this, because I

591
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:52.840
<v Speaker 2>noticed something. Female trainers at the gym are encouraging to

592
00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:55.639
<v Speaker 2>their clients. I hear them say, come on, you got it.

593
00:36:55.679 --> 00:36:57.280
<v Speaker 2>I think you have two more in you. Oh that's

594
00:36:57.320 --> 00:36:59.559
<v Speaker 2>so great, that's so much better than yesterday. You're doing

595
00:36:59.639 --> 00:37:02.840
<v Speaker 2>so well well, And then male trainers are like, come on,

596
00:37:03.199 --> 00:37:05.119
<v Speaker 2>I don't think you can even do ten more. Oh,

597
00:37:05.159 --> 00:37:07.920
<v Speaker 2>come on, you weak today. I hear this, and I'm like,

598
00:37:08.039 --> 00:37:10.599
<v Speaker 2>how does that motivate people? So I once had a

599
00:37:10.679 --> 00:37:13.239
<v Speaker 2>male trainer like that, and the more he criticized me

600
00:37:13.400 --> 00:37:15.719
<v Speaker 2>and told me that I couldn't do things, the less

601
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:17.320
<v Speaker 2>I did it. I said, okay, fine, I won't do

602
00:37:17.400 --> 00:37:20.679
<v Speaker 2>it right. That's how I am. Don't criticize your partner.

603
00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:24.239
<v Speaker 2>Water what you want to grow, and no matter how

604
00:37:24.360 --> 00:37:26.519
<v Speaker 2>hard it is. I know you may have learned this

605
00:37:26.599 --> 00:37:29.960
<v Speaker 2>in your family of origin. When you're upset, don't withdraw.

606
00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:34.199
<v Speaker 2>Stay in it. Stay in it, even if it's just

607
00:37:34.280 --> 00:37:38.119
<v Speaker 2>to listen to them, just say I'm you know. The

608
00:37:38.159 --> 00:37:40.519
<v Speaker 2>first time I had that feeling to run away, I

609
00:37:40.559 --> 00:37:42.599
<v Speaker 2>think Hulu and I have been dating only like six

610
00:37:42.679 --> 00:37:44.800
<v Speaker 2>weeks or something, and we had some little tiff I

611
00:37:44.840 --> 00:37:47.280
<v Speaker 2>don't know what it was, and I said to him,

612
00:37:48.039 --> 00:37:50.800
<v Speaker 2>I have a running feeling right now, and he did

613
00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:54.079
<v Speaker 2>something spectacular. He stood up from his chair, came over

614
00:37:54.159 --> 00:37:56.639
<v Speaker 2>to me, touched my shoulder and said, no, no, it's

615
00:37:56.719 --> 00:38:00.039
<v Speaker 2>not that big. Don't leave, and he it was I

616
00:38:00.199 --> 00:38:02.599
<v Speaker 2>bid for care. I want to run away. He met

617
00:38:02.679 --> 00:38:07.199
<v Speaker 2>that bid with care, So don't leave. Don't run. That's

618
00:38:07.239 --> 00:38:11.119
<v Speaker 2>all I'll say. Hey, I'm here every Sunday from seven

619
00:38:11.159 --> 00:38:13.880
<v Speaker 2>to nine pm, and if you want to follow me

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00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:16.119
<v Speaker 2>during the week, the handle on all my social media

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<v Speaker 2>is at Dr Wendy Walsh at doctor Wendy Walsh. You

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<v Speaker 2>can even go onto my website on my contact page

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<v Speaker 2>and sign up from a newsletter. I don't send them

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<v Speaker 2>very often, but when I do, you want to hear

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<v Speaker 2>from me first. I always say there's no gossip about

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<v Speaker 2>me because I've told people first. It's always my pleasure

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<v Speaker 2>to be here. I am so obsessed with the science

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00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:37.400
<v Speaker 2>of love and I want you to have the best

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<v Speaker 2>relationship possible. Thanks so much for being with me. You've

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<v Speaker 2>been listening to the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show on KFI

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<v Speaker 2>AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You've

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<v Speaker 2>been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always hear

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<v Speaker 2>us live on KFI AM six forty from seven to

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<v Speaker 2>nine pm on Sunday and anytime on demand on the

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<v Speaker 2>iHeart Radio app.