Speaker 1: This is Dan Caples and welcome to today's online podcast
Speaker 1: edition of The Dan Caplis Show. Please be sure to
Speaker 1: give us a five star rating if you'd be so kind,
Speaker 1: and to subscribe, download, and listen to the show every
Speaker 1: single day on your favorite podcast platform towards rocket filling
Speaker 1: in for.
Speaker 2: The big Man, Dan Capitlis fighting for justice down there
Speaker 2: in my normal workplace at the Douglas County Justice Center.
Speaker 3: I'm i gotta applause you right there, George, because you
Speaker 3: left us hanging on that one.
Speaker 2: You saw him? What was his demeanor? What was going
Speaker 2: on there? I didn't get to see him. I knew
Speaker 2: he was there. So Tom Mustin is our comms guy,
Speaker 2: that's right. He goes, Hey, I ran into Dan in
Speaker 2: the men's room, and I'm like, okay, that's awkward, because
Speaker 2: you know, you don't want to hear what Like, I'm like,
Speaker 2: what kind of conversation do you have, like manage shere,
Speaker 2: colden here, or what are you doing? And so he said, hey,
Speaker 2: Dan's in trial. I'm like, that's right, he's in trial.
Speaker 2: And so he's in Courtroom five, which is kind of
Speaker 2: directly down the hall from one of our doors. I
Speaker 2: just was in a bun bunch of meetings and other
Speaker 2: prep things today and I wasn't able to get over there.
Speaker 2: But tomorrow I'm gonna slip in there and see what's
Speaker 2: going on. I don't know who's trying the case with him.
Speaker 2: I'm kind of hopeful it's like Tom Burns or John
Speaker 2: Keunner or you know, Bob or Waheed. I don't know
Speaker 2: one of the great attorneys on his team.
Speaker 3: I've always kind of used this WWF analogy where you know,
Speaker 3: you and I are roughly the same age. You watch
Speaker 3: Wrestling Superstars on Saturday, and you didn't get the great
Speaker 3: matches there, you got like Moondogs spot against Hulkogan.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what it's like.
Speaker 3: I don't know who these insurance companies are that look
Speaker 3: at and they see Dan Kaplis Law and the ledger
Speaker 3: you want, we're gonna go to court with that? Guy's like, no, settle,
Speaker 3: just settle, you're better off. You'll save yourself some time,
Speaker 3: some agony, some money. But why do they go loggerheads
Speaker 3: against capitalis Law when he never loses.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think some of this though, you
Speaker 2: see in other professional sports, like you know what flea
Speaker 2: flicker is gonna work here or something like that, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, or where you see either there
Speaker 2: are a lot of teams that intentionally walk Aaron Judge
Speaker 2: and then every once in a while they're like, nah,
Speaker 2: we're pitching at him with guys on base, you know,
Speaker 2: in a close game, and then he makes you pay
Speaker 2: and you're like, why did we do that again? You
Speaker 2: know what was the thought process there? I feel like
Speaker 2: it's this that they must think that no, no, no,
Speaker 2: Dan lost a case once in this case, he's going
Speaker 2: to get out over his skis, and then they get
Speaker 2: into court and then at some point they have to
Speaker 2: be like calling the adjuster and saying, I told you
Speaker 2: this was going to happen. I told you this was
Speaker 2: going to happen. Sometimes the attorneys don't get to make
Speaker 2: the decision. It's the insurance company that does it so well.
Speaker 3: And you know, you know this better than anybody, George.
Speaker 3: I mean, you've been to that in the court room
Speaker 3: doing that sort of thing. But sometimes the best cases
Speaker 3: are the ones you don't go to trial with.
Speaker 2: Right, No, you rarely go to trial on the strongest
Speaker 2: cases in the sivil world. That that should be true.
Speaker 2: Almost one hundred percent of the time. In the criminal world,
Speaker 2: it's not true when there are cases like murder or
Speaker 2: certain sex assaults on children, unless they're going to come
Speaker 2: to the table and take some kind of a sentence
Speaker 2: that subjects them to potentially the rest of their life
Speaker 2: in prison. Otherwise, most of your strongest cases, you're just
Speaker 2: coming up with a deal that gets this person some
Speaker 2: justice and they move on. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Interestingly enough, I was kind of surprised that they ran
Speaker 4: into each other in the bathroom because, you know, and
Speaker 4: I have a ton of guy friends, because you know,
Speaker 4: I don't have a lot of xxes.
Speaker 5: I have x y's, you know, as my friendship.
Speaker 2: Brice, I thought, when you said x exes, it's like
Speaker 2: dudes you broke up with, but you guys got back together.
Speaker 5: No, I thought, yeah, no, I call them xxes.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm not a big fan of women, but that's
Speaker 4: another thing anyway. So we So what I'm saying is
Speaker 4: all of my male friends basically say, when you go
Speaker 4: into the bathroom, you don't look. You just stare ahead
Speaker 4: and you do your business. Unfortunately, in the women's bathroom
Speaker 4: it's like Sorority Day. People are on their phones peeing
Speaker 4: in the stall next to you, and I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, you know that? How do you know that?
Speaker 5: Because I have to pee next to that?
Speaker 3: I know?
Speaker 2: But are you looking at them? Like I presume the
Speaker 2: women's room has like real privacy with the DA room falls.
Speaker 4: We have stalls, but you can hear them talking on
Speaker 4: their phone.
Speaker 2: Okay, talk is weird.
Speaker 4: The stalls, right, But here's my here's my pet peeve.
Speaker 4: Do you honestly think they can't hear you pissing that's
Speaker 4: from the same time as you're talking on the freaking phone.
Speaker 2: I think they can, And I think it makes you
Speaker 2: then wonder who's this person that's so close to them
Speaker 2: in their lives that they can take care of business?
Speaker 2: And you know that's that's by the way, best case
Speaker 2: scenario is the running waters.
Speaker 4: I've heard family calls and then you have to deal
Speaker 4: with the whole flush, Like, how are you going to
Speaker 4: do that?
Speaker 2: You mute it. I've been there. You quickly mute it.
Speaker 2: Hold you drop the flush?
Speaker 3: Can it?
Speaker 2: Wait? It takes you out a few minutes to go
Speaker 2: to the bath. Wait. Wait, Sometimes you're in the middle
Speaker 2: of a harangue with one of the kids and you
Speaker 2: can't you know what I mean, you can't just let
Speaker 2: it in there because they'll never answer the phone again,
Speaker 2: and you just have to keep going. I think the
Speaker 2: other thing now that we're on the phone topic, and
Speaker 2: I discovered this at the airport the other day, and
Speaker 2: it reminds me of this all the time. The people
Speaker 2: that have not discovered the bluetooth right like any sort
Speaker 2: of air pods or earthing, and they walk around talking
Speaker 2: into the end of their phone, holding it like it's
Speaker 2: a piece of pizza, do you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Like they're getting ready to eat it, but they've got
Speaker 2: it on speaker and they've got to talk right into it.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, one, why, like why are you sharing
Speaker 2: this with us? And who is it you don't care
Speaker 2: about enough to give them some privacy in their comments.
Speaker 2: I wonder if they know you're walking around New York
Speaker 2: City with them blasting whatever they're saying about you.
Speaker 4: Okay, this is the worst because I work on the
Speaker 4: Martino Show, so I have to take four hours of
Speaker 4: phone calls with people calling on speakerphone doesn't work, people,
Speaker 4: worst doesn't work.
Speaker 3: Well, that's a good time for public service announcement here
Speaker 3: on this program, which Kelly she struggles with this all
Speaker 3: the time. Don't put her on bluetooth, don't put it
Speaker 3: on speaker, especially when you're driving down the road.
Speaker 2: There's so much road noise. I'm not gonna be able
Speaker 2: to hear you.
Speaker 3: If you can't, you know, talk directly into your phone,
Speaker 3: which is always preferable, then maybe.
Speaker 4: Wait, how many times do I literally say, don't know
Speaker 4: what you're saying because all I hear is there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's just to the people in your family.
Speaker 2: That's very true. There's some real problems here. The bathroom thing.
Speaker 2: I don't know about the icon tact stuff because I
Speaker 2: have a standing policy.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I used to have a private bathroom in the eighteenth
Speaker 2: jd D And now Amy's got it. And it was
Speaker 2: behind some hidden Wayne's coated wall. I swear to you.
Speaker 2: You push on this thing and it pops open into
Speaker 2: a bathroom with a shower and a sink and a
Speaker 2: toilet and all that was great stuff. On the other
Speaker 2: side of the door when it closed, I had a
Speaker 2: picture of Hillary Clinton that said ready, because if I've
Speaker 2: ever needed to have the something scared out of me,
Speaker 2: that would do it. And anyway, I don't have that
Speaker 2: in the new office. It's a problem. And so because
Speaker 2: we only have the one bathroom for the entire portion
Speaker 2: of the office and we're talking a lot of people here,
Speaker 2: I have instituted a policy where when I leave, no
Speaker 2: one can make eye contact with me until I get
Speaker 2: back to my office. It's too awkward. No listen here.
Speaker 3: You just kind of threaded the needle there, because apparently
Speaker 3: that was a rule with Hillary Clinton. I'm seeing more
Speaker 3: of this information come out, like she did not want
Speaker 3: to interact with any of the White House staff when
Speaker 3: she was first Lady with Bill Clinton, and that was
Speaker 3: one of the rules, like do not make eye contact
Speaker 3: with the first Lady, And all these guys are on notabay,
Speaker 3: they would clear the room, they wouldn't even want to
Speaker 3: be in her path walking down the West Wing or whatever.
Speaker 2: I have to understand that I'm not like that in
Speaker 2: the office. Otherwise, in fact, I'm much more likely to
Speaker 2: generate some kind of an HR complaint because I'm so
Speaker 2: engaging and huggy. But coming out of the men's room,
Speaker 2: no eye contact. I mean, there just can't be. You don't.
Speaker 2: That's it's too awkward for all involved. No eye contact. Oh,
Speaker 2: you can't. And in fact, one of the great things
Speaker 2: about having an office that is predominantly women because I
Speaker 2: got to tell you, I have some of the hardest
Speaker 2: core prosecutors out there, and they just have a ton
Speaker 2: of them just happen to be women. It means that
Speaker 2: there's less use for the men's room. This is the
Speaker 2: hidden secret, folks. If you're an employment guy, they're a
Speaker 2: business owner, an HR person. The hidden benefit is about
Speaker 2: ninety percent of the time I walk into the men's room,
Speaker 2: I'm the only dude in there, which you know, that's freeing, right, Like,
Speaker 2: if you're a guy, that's freeing because now you're capable
Speaker 2: of doing all sorts of things. But when another person could, well,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm mean. What are you telling about
Speaker 2: things like really just engaging in a comfortable sort of
Speaker 2: set of behaviors that may result in noises. I don't know,
Speaker 2: but I'm just saying, and I'm just saying, you feel
Speaker 2: more hindered when you see a strange pair of shoes
Speaker 2: walk up to the stall next to you and your gear, like,
Speaker 2: is that my neighbor? Is that my boss? For me?
Speaker 2: I don't ever answer that second one of the positive,
Speaker 2: but is it something that's going to be awkward, and
Speaker 2: you know they're feeling awkward because they're like, uh, oh,
Speaker 2: I see a pair of shoes in there. Those look
Speaker 2: like you know, the boss is Chuck Taylor's or something.
Speaker 2: And then you know, you just there's no talking, like,
Speaker 2: you don't talk through the stall. You can only talk
Speaker 2: at the urinals together. You don't ever do the Elaine
Speaker 2: benis you know, do you have a square to spare moment?
Speaker 2: There's no talking through the stalls because it's just too awkward,
Speaker 2: and you're looking and listening for changes in voice pitch
Speaker 2: that reveal to you some sort of internal struggle with
Speaker 2: their Hell, I don't know what.
Speaker 5: It is, but I don't know how you guys do this.
Speaker 5: But they have like troughs.
Speaker 3: Well, no, that's not like a ballpark sometimes, yeah, back
Speaker 3: in the day, and that's terrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the troughs are okay. You just have to really
Speaker 2: be conscious of your peripheral vision and where your head goes.
Speaker 2: You can't not engage in that. No, no you can't, No,
Speaker 2: you can't. You shouldn't. Now, like, you don't ever want
Speaker 2: to hear a guy turn to another and say, is
Speaker 2: that a bite mark or something like that? You know
Speaker 2: you don't. That's wow somehow, somehow, and I blame Kelly
Speaker 2: for this. We've completely derailed the Daan Capley. We were
Speaker 2: talking about our serious stuff, and this is probably the
Speaker 2: segment we don't put up in podcasts because this is
Speaker 2: this is what we used to do in the morning.
Speaker 2: This is a morning show con Now I don't know
Speaker 2: what happened. People are tuning in to find out what
Speaker 2: happened with Trump or what happened with Polis or whatever,
Speaker 2: and instead it has devolved into By the way, everyday
Speaker 2: experience is that. My guess is most of the dudes
Speaker 2: driving on the road are like Ben there, George, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it happens all the time. It happens all the time. Listen,
Speaker 2: I've lost track of the clock here. By the way,
Speaker 2: I should read there are some there are some texts here.
Speaker 2: Let me do that because we love textures. What we
Speaker 2: got a break? First? Did you say break? It's a
Speaker 2: floating break, break, break break. I'm getting to use that
Speaker 2: word flow listen because of the glare. The hand gesture
Speaker 2: I'm getting from Kelly could be one of several things,
Speaker 2: but only one of them is appropriate. So, Kelly, if
Speaker 2: you could do that where there's no glare, so I
Speaker 2: can understand what you're doing. Needs help.
Speaker 1: Help.
Speaker 2: When we come back, I may or may not be
Speaker 2: behind the microphone filling in for Dan Capbl's s her
Speaker 2: number three O three seven one three eighty two fifty
Speaker 2: five tax five seven seven three nine. It's me George
Speaker 2: Brockler and the crew filling in for the mighty Dan Caplis.
Speaker 2: And now back to the Dan Taplas Show podcast at
Speaker 2: all that's laden for a whole bunch of other folks
Speaker 2: filling in for Dan Caplis today as he's down in
Speaker 2: Douglas County seeking a little justice. First client. I'll be
Speaker 2: down there tomorrow. I'm gonna poke my head in and
Speaker 2: see how he's doing. The text line which you can
Speaker 2: hit us at five seven seven three nine. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: go Dan Capls on this one in fuego.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: But there's it runs the gamut. It runs the gamut.
Speaker 2: Alexa tells us a couple of great things. One, you
Speaker 2: were going to talk about Homiden al Ibrahim al Turkey's release. Yes,
Speaker 2: I was, and I am, but something happened on the
Speaker 2: way to that great topic. Now we've got nice This
Speaker 2: is a nice one. George needs his own show. Thank
Speaker 2: you George to solve the bathroom stall recognition post exit issue.
Speaker 2: A great way to describe it. Steve Martin always took
Speaker 2: an extra pair of shoes in with him for Ralph.
Speaker 2: That's great. Another one from Alexi. I loved being the
Speaker 2: only female in an office for nine months, I'll bet.
Speaker 2: And there's also that great episode in the office by
Speaker 2: the way, when the women I'll leave the office and
Speaker 2: the dude check out the women's room. I don't know
Speaker 2: if you've ever seen how much nicer it is so nice,
Speaker 2: And in large part that's because no matter what men do,
Speaker 2: growing up from boys into men with baseball, softballs, golf balls,
Speaker 2: fill in the blank balls, our aim is always suspect.
Speaker 2: There's something about you'd think there was wind sheer somehow
Speaker 2: in between the guy and the earl. Because first off,
Speaker 2: if you walk into the men's room at the airport,
Speaker 2: if you ever drop anything, it's gone from you drop
Speaker 2: a phone, a diamond ring, it's that's it. You. You
Speaker 2: have to let it go because it is immediately infected
Speaker 2: with the Andromeda strain. There's no fire this point. I
Speaker 2: guess you do keep going the labor away.
Speaker 5: Have you ever used a woman's bathroom?
Speaker 2: Of course, of course you have. Look, i'm gonna I'm
Speaker 2: gonna tell a story. It's a it's really a confession
Speaker 2: of sorts to a crime that the statue ran on
Speaker 2: decades ago. But at one point I was that guy
Speaker 2: at the high school. And I remember this is all
Speaker 2: pre internet, pre cell phone, all this stuff, But during
Speaker 2: when all the fun was going on, I was the
Speaker 2: guy that got gifted the keys to the high school
Speaker 2: as a junior becoming a senior from the last guy
Speaker 2: in the senior class that had them. So I had
Speaker 2: the key to the high school. So one day, of course,
Speaker 2: one night, a couple buddies and I decided, let's go
Speaker 2: to the high school which shall remain nameless Bear Creek.
Speaker 2: And we went there and let ourselves into the gym,
Speaker 2: not to do anything like some of the idiot kids
Speaker 2: would do today, Like we're not starting fires or vandalizing stuff,
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Like we're shooting hoops
Speaker 2: and we're going into the women's room to check it out.
Speaker 2: Like what is so awesome about the women's locker room?
Speaker 2: And honestly, it's smelled cleaner. I don't know how that
Speaker 2: was possible, smelled cleaner, fresher, it felt you felt like
Speaker 2: you were in a place you shouldn't be. So it
Speaker 2: was a little titillating, you know, no pun intended. And
Speaker 2: then at some point, man, this is God's honest truth.
Speaker 2: Spidey sense was like, hey, I think we've done enough here,
Speaker 2: let's head out. Well, it turns out that was genius
Speaker 2: because as we leave and we're walking across a very
Speaker 2: dark and unlit field to get to freedom, all of
Speaker 2: a sudden lake would police show up boo, And it
Speaker 2: turns out there's a silent alarm that I was not
Speaker 2: told about where you have to if you come in
Speaker 2: after certain hours, you've got to make a call to
Speaker 2: a number and let them know that you know you're
Speaker 2: good to go. I don't know if you have to
Speaker 2: say the same for it or whatever. But the police
Speaker 2: showed up, and I thought, my god, where would I
Speaker 2: beat today if I was still shooting hoops you know
Speaker 2: what I mean, with my buddies at one in the
Speaker 2: morning in the gym at Bear Creek. I don't know,
Speaker 2: but I've carried that with me because some of the
Speaker 2: cases we get with juveniles, not like this fifteen year
Speaker 2: old illegal immigrant Columbian killer there. But for the grace
Speaker 2: of God, go I you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 2: we weren't there to do damage. We were there to
Speaker 2: be goofy kids and all that stuff.
Speaker 4: Nonetheless, well you didn't actually go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2: No, No, I went into the bathroom. Did I do
Speaker 2: anything in the bathroom? No? Man, I know, is that
Speaker 2: what you're asking me about.
Speaker 4: It is a very double standard on this because women
Speaker 4: have been known because it's always a longer line and
Speaker 4: those types of things, and it's a lot easier for
Speaker 4: you to just basically announce yourself in the men's back
Speaker 4: room and say, okay, woman coming in, would you take
Speaker 4: on that hygiene?
Speaker 2: And because you know, it's like do I want to
Speaker 2: wait for a clean needle or just share the one
Speaker 2: the dude in the alley has, like, yeah, it's it's
Speaker 2: a shorter weight time, But the risk is crazy.
Speaker 3: I have been that guy, the chivalrous one that has
Speaker 3: stood guard and watch as a girl used the guy's
Speaker 3: restroom at a bar and like Kelly's saying, the line
Speaker 3: for the women's room very long, guy and woman comes up,
Speaker 3: she's pretty good looking.
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, well, there it is, you know, because
Speaker 2: if she were not pretty good looking, you just said, hey,
Speaker 2: get in line, go get in line.
Speaker 5: I've been to many bars with you. He's ever done
Speaker 5: that for me?
Speaker 2: Well, well, next topic, some more texts coming in here.
Speaker 2: Ryan's comparison of capitalists being Hulk Hogan going up against
Speaker 2: a jobber is brilliant. My favorite jobber from the eighties
Speaker 2: was Leaping Lannie. Yes, he would read the poems and
Speaker 2: throughout the Frisbeees. Andy Machio Man Savage is brother. That's right,
Speaker 2: Thank you, DK. That's great news. Here's another one. Can
Speaker 2: you explain to me, like I'm five years old, why I,
Speaker 2: as a free citizen of Colorado, am required to follow
Speaker 2: the laws on the books. Yet the elected servants that
Speaker 2: lead the state can straight up be responsible for the
Speaker 2: death of their constituents and the reason law enforcement can't
Speaker 2: protect them. Yet they not only walk free, but give
Speaker 2: themselves a raise without any repercussions. Well, the answer there,
Speaker 2: I'm going to cut to the chase here is elections.
Speaker 2: That's it. That's how we hold these people accountable. Now,
Speaker 2: there's potential for recalling. We've seen that historically in a
Speaker 2: couple places in Colorado, but by and large it's elections,
Speaker 2: and as long as people are getting elected by the voters,
Speaker 2: they can do a whole lot of damage. And we
Speaker 2: see that all the time. The repercussion should be getting
Speaker 2: turned out at the polls. But we don't skip here.
Speaker 2: Once again, we're up on another. Are you kidding? How
Speaker 2: much time do we have? That's the music playing you
Speaker 2: out like you're at the Academy Awards. How many seconds?
Speaker 2: Twenty seconds go? Twenty seconds? Listen when we come back,
Speaker 2: I promise I'm going to do the al Turkey thing,
Speaker 2: and of course I'm going to continue to read your
Speaker 2: awesome text. I don't know what happened to this hour,
Speaker 2: but I love it. Stick around, Big Daddy, George Brockler
Speaker 2: and the crew filling in for the big Man, Dan
Speaker 2: Caplis down in Douglas County. Stick around when we write
Speaker 2: back at George Brocklick Dan Caplis Show. You're listening to
Speaker 2: the Dan Kaplis Show podcast, and no offense, Tom if
Speaker 2: you're listening. But we'd have to part company at that point.
Speaker 2: I just it's as it is when you're the boss here.
Speaker 2: I don't know how do we keep doing this? What
Speaker 2: is going on you walk in, you can't ignore, like
Speaker 2: if you're in a work setting, you can't ignore a person.
Speaker 2: But what do you say to them? Like, hey, you know,
Speaker 2: oh how are we doing? Or you know, champs slugger, Yeah,
Speaker 2: what's going on? Prostate good? I mean what, I don't
Speaker 2: even where do you go with the conversation? And then
Speaker 2: it dies and then it becomes awkward as you two
Speaker 2: are both kind of standing there like trying not to
Speaker 2: breathe too loudly and whatever, And.
Speaker 3: This happen so larger restroom, men's room urinals and I
Speaker 3: do this all I am. I am so meticulous. I'll
Speaker 3: use a stall if I can. Yeah, if I can't,
Speaker 3: I have a hard time because I'm on, it's out
Speaker 3: in the open. You're the wild there. So I'll go
Speaker 3: all the way on the.
Speaker 2: End, left or right, doesn't matter which.
Speaker 3: And then another person will come in no other stall
Speaker 3: is being used, and they come up like right next
Speaker 3: to you.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you had that happen. Yet not only have
Speaker 2: I had that happen? Did you know there was an
Speaker 2: app that teaches you how to do that? There's an
Speaker 2: app with a series of urinals along the wall. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you can download this this is years ago now, and
Speaker 2: it gives you options like it presents you with a
Speaker 2: person standing at a urinal, and then you have to
Speaker 2: pick the correct urinal you can go to in order
Speaker 2: to and the answer is always the one that's furthest away.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? Like you, because you're
Speaker 2: just trying to avoid that sort of awkward thing.
Speaker 3: At least give one urinal in between if you can,
Speaker 3: if you're able to do.
Speaker 5: So well, and you, guys, bee really loud.
Speaker 2: That's the other. Well, that's if we have healthy prostates
Speaker 2: and shure.
Speaker 5: Oh it's so loud.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, here's something else. As long as we're
Speaker 2: here with the bathroom thing. I find it a bit ironic,
Speaker 2: and this, of course will be in my stand up
Speaker 2: routine once I finish it. I find it ironic that
Speaker 2: there are guys out there who simply refuse to believe
Speaker 2: in the efficacy of any mask for any purpose at
Speaker 2: any time. They're the same dudes that will take that thin,
Speaker 2: thin toilet paper and drape it across the toilet seat
Speaker 2: as if it's going to protect them from cooties. Do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Either or you just commit to the bed well, that's
Speaker 3: it there, This is real.
Speaker 2: This is what. So my son's in a wheelchair. My
Speaker 2: oldest boy, Tray, who's a superstar at CSU, he's in
Speaker 2: a wheelchair. And I got to tell you, before Trey
Speaker 2: was in a wheelchair, I'm certain I treated every handicaped
Speaker 2: stall like no one's ever going to use it. It's
Speaker 2: just an opportunity for me to stretch out, you know.
Speaker 2: But now I don't. And so there have been times
Speaker 2: like we're at the AMC and there are open stalls
Speaker 2: next to it, but someone has decided I'm going to
Speaker 2: take the luxuriously large handicap stall and they're in there. Well,
Speaker 2: that screws my son. There's nowhere to go. And so
Speaker 2: he pulls up and I know this dude can see
Speaker 2: the wheels, and Tracey's kind of he's such a nice kid.
Speaker 2: He's just like, well, what now? And so I grabbed
Speaker 2: the top of the door and vigorously shake the door,
Speaker 2: like let's go, buddy, you know, like, and I'm sure
Speaker 2: this guy is completely dilated, you know, as he's thinking
Speaker 2: to himself, what what has happened here? There's no way
Speaker 2: I'm coming out because I've become that guy. So I'm
Speaker 2: super sensitive to the handicap still thinks super sensitive to that.
Speaker 2: That's another one. Yeah, I think about that. And so
Speaker 2: here at iHeart.
Speaker 3: Men's room, you have the two yearnals, you have the
Speaker 3: regular kind of narrow stall, and then you have a
Speaker 3: larger stall, which technically is a handicap one. But I'm
Speaker 3: telling you, George, there's enough guys on this floor. If
Speaker 3: one guy's using.
Speaker 2: This, Yeah, I'm just saying, and iHeart. I don't know
Speaker 2: anyone in a wheelchair here that I've ever seen here. Yeah,
Speaker 2: single time.
Speaker 5: We have much nicer bathrooms.
Speaker 2: We know, we know the women do. Yes, I don't
Speaker 2: get I don't.
Speaker 4: Have bathrooms on this floor. The women's are much better.
Speaker 2: I think at the end of the day, it's it's
Speaker 2: just gonna be. And maybe this gets us to this
Speaker 2: other topic, the transgender thing. What do you do if
Speaker 2: you're in there doing your thing, You're at the stall, Ryan,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, you know, Bobby Sue comes
Speaker 2: up and it's a little more Bobby than Sue. I mean,
Speaker 2: what do you do to me? They come up next
Speaker 2: to that, they're standing next to you, say anything.
Speaker 3: I think in a men's room kind of anything goes
Speaker 3: and we're prepared for anything. Where the real vulnerability to
Speaker 3: me is is if a woman is in what is
Speaker 3: supposed to be a women's restroom an intact male comes in.
Speaker 3: I mean that is a threat. If Chas Bono comes
Speaker 3: into the men's room with you and me, we're gonna
Speaker 3: be like, well whatever, you know, But it's it's not
Speaker 3: the same thing. Is the other way around?
Speaker 2: It really is, Kelly, men don't.
Speaker 4: Care about women going into men's restrooms. Because I was
Speaker 4: telling Ryan on the break, I've gone in Red Rocks
Speaker 4: because the lines are so long.
Speaker 2: It's a recurring theme for you.
Speaker 5: I know, what can I do?
Speaker 4: But I have gone into the men's restroom and basically
Speaker 4: I just you know, cover my eyes and I'm like, listen,
Speaker 4: just need to pee, need to get to the stall.
Speaker 2: And nobody cares.
Speaker 5: None of the men care. They're just like, okay, whatever, fee.
Speaker 2: Well and they got those new restams.
Speaker 3: Have you been to Red Rocks recently, George, No, it's
Speaker 3: a row of it's all gender neutral, and you just
Speaker 3: walk in and they're all stalls and they're all like
Speaker 3: doors and they're really you know, you just.
Speaker 2: Walk in, guy, girl doesn't better privacy, and that's not
Speaker 2: so bad the all gender bathroom though, But Kelly, I disagree.
Speaker 2: I'm offended when women come into the men's room. You wise, well,
Speaker 2: it's another person trying to compete for a limited space.
Speaker 2: But two stage five, yeah, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Like I just I just the idea that I'm not
Speaker 2: going to be in amongst my own kind. Its real.
Speaker 2: For first, usually.
Speaker 4: You guys are standing at the urinals, so it's like
Speaker 4: a very very like a two second walk into a
Speaker 4: stall and then you lock it. You sit, Yeah, your pee,
Speaker 4: you're done.
Speaker 2: Honestly, if you're looking for attention as a dude, you
Speaker 2: back into the stall, and then people start wondering moonwalking,
Speaker 2: you're doing something, you know what I mean, Like you
Speaker 2: take a different angle, you're just your Oh my goodness,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, you're front facing the other way. Anyway,
Speaker 2: Listen some texts that if anything here George needs his
Speaker 2: own show, or okay, how comedy special? I like that.
Speaker 2: That is this hour, That is this hour so far BUCkies.
Speaker 2: Here's another one. BUCkies has the best bathrooms one hundred
Speaker 2: percent true. And if you folks listening have not gone
Speaker 2: up by twenty five go past that loves and all
Speaker 2: that you get to that BUCkies. If you haven't treated
Speaker 2: yourself to a trip through the BUCkies, you're robbing yourself
Speaker 2: of an experience. There really is nothing else like it,
Speaker 2: and that they spend real time making sure those bathrooms
Speaker 2: are clean. They also exclude semi trucks. This is not
Speaker 2: a truck stop that matters, that makes a big deal,
Speaker 2: and they really are something special. Here's another one that's
Speaker 2: not on our topic. I had a carget broken into
Speaker 2: a year ago. They caught the guy with a credit
Speaker 2: card and laptop of mine and lots of other things
Speaker 2: still missing. Guy had an ankle monitor on that tracked
Speaker 2: him to my house. Good lord, Parker PD decided not
Speaker 2: to charge him. That's interesting. Haven't heard anything from them
Speaker 2: or the victim advocate. And when I called, they blow
Speaker 2: me off. I'm out a car and sentimental things in money.
Speaker 2: Is there anything I can still do? Yes? Please re
Speaker 2: engage with the Parker PD. Find out who's got the case,
Speaker 2: what it's assigned to, and if there isn't any traction,
Speaker 2: then you call the DA's office and you speak this
Speaker 2: all sounds like felonious behavior, and you asked to speak
Speaker 2: with someone in district court on the DA's who's there
Speaker 2: in Parker? It turns out it's the guy that's talking
Speaker 2: about bathrooms, right. I thought, yeah, that's this guy, So
Speaker 2: that that doesn't sound like Parker to means on there
Speaker 2: must be something else going on. But I'd love to know.
Speaker 2: I'd love to try to help out. And sure enough,
Speaker 2: here we are screaming up on another break. When's our
Speaker 2: break right now? Good bless it? And I haven't gotten
Speaker 2: to the Homeiden al Turkey thing. Look, this is just
Speaker 2: gonna be a running gag every time I'm back, we'll say,
Speaker 2: and next segment we'll talk about Al Turkey. Yes, and
Speaker 2: no one's gonna remember unless they were part of this
Speaker 2: particular show, which we will dub Bathroom Hour here on
Speaker 2: the I hope Dan doesn't go back and listen to
Speaker 2: the podcast, because folks, this will be my last time
Speaker 2: filling in for Dan. If that happens, you can keep
Speaker 2: the text going at five seven, seven three nine, or
Speaker 2: you know what, if you want to do the bathroom
Speaker 2: talk on the air, and I think we're all about
Speaker 2: that this hour, give us a call. Three zero three
Speaker 2: seven one three eighty two fifty five Steve Reams filling
Speaker 2: in for Dan Caplas on The Dan Kapla Show and
Speaker 2: now back to the Dan Kaplas Show podcast. And my goodness, folks,
Speaker 2: if you haven't tried the text yet, today do it.
Speaker 2: Seven three nine is the way to communicate with us,
Speaker 2: unless you're gonna have the guts to call it three
Speaker 2: or three seven one three eighty two fifty five. It's
Speaker 2: hard to describe the topic. It was gonna be Al Turkey,
Speaker 2: and it could still be. We have a few minutes left,
Speaker 2: but I don't know if I could do it justice
Speaker 2: at this point here is get to al Turkey. You
Speaker 2: guys are slackers. I'm a I'm a plumber by trade,
Speaker 2: and I've hung out in more women's restrooms than my
Speaker 2: wife has HEO. Hello, another one, Al Turkey. Come on, man,
Speaker 2: oh there is They're creating demand for the topic. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's tough. Let's do this with the Al Turkey thing.
Speaker 2: I'll tell this quick story here. There's a guy named
Speaker 2: Hamiden al Turkey who was over here in the country. Legally,
Speaker 2: he was the son of the spiritual advisor to the
Speaker 2: King of Saudi Arabia, and this particular guy liked to
Speaker 2: keep his He is like a housekeeper lady. But she
Speaker 2: had been on a hodge. She thought she was on
Speaker 2: a hodge. She thought she was going to go with
Speaker 2: the al Turkey family to America and learn something. Some
Speaker 2: things test her faith. That kind of stuff ends. This
Speaker 2: guy takes her passport it might have even expired, keeps
Speaker 2: her hostage kind of down in the basement behind like
Speaker 2: the heating system, the HVAC system, and then sexually assault
Speaker 2: her at his will. One thing leads to another, and
Speaker 2: there's an interest in wanting to arrest this guy, and
Speaker 2: they got to get him outside of his house to
Speaker 2: do it. And there's an FBI agent who goes up
Speaker 2: to his house to lure him outside of his house
Speaker 2: so that they can go in rescue this girl, and
Speaker 2: you know, arrest this guy all this stuff with the
Speaker 2: least amount of trouble. And he shows up dressed up
Speaker 2: in a piece of delivery guy outfit, and they hook
Speaker 2: this guy. This guy goes to trial and he gets
Speaker 2: convicted of a whole bunch of things, including unlawful sexual contact,
Speaker 2: a class four felony because he used physical force and
Speaker 2: violence that was found by a jury, and then a
Speaker 2: bunch of other things, extortion, theft, a whole bunch of
Speaker 2: these other things that he gets sentenced to six years
Speaker 2: to life in the Department of Corrections. Now this thing
Speaker 2: shows up on my radar because sometime about when I'm
Speaker 2: getting elected and sworn in the first time of the
Speaker 2: eighteenth so it's around January of twenty thirteen. So some
Speaker 2: years ago, there had been a treaty that was signed
Speaker 2: by our President George H. Bush when he was in
Speaker 2: office that allowed for the repatriation of foreign nationals who
Speaker 2: are in our prison system under a couple conditions, one
Speaker 2: of which was the executive director of the doc had
Speaker 2: to sign off on the person being repatriated, and then
Speaker 2: someone at DOJ, maybe Bureau of Prison, I don't know,
Speaker 2: had to sign off and then the guy could be
Speaker 2: whisked away to his prison. And that was the effort
Speaker 2: that Hickenlooper was making our Now Senator Hickenlooper was desperate
Speaker 2: for political reasons to want to get this guy repatriated
Speaker 2: to Saudi Arabia. Well, we caught wind of it. The
Speaker 2: prosecutor on the case, Chief Deputy da and Thom's a
Speaker 2: fantastic prosecutor, comes to my office tells me about it.
Speaker 2: We end up reaching out to the Denver Post. We
Speaker 2: talked to a guy named Vincent Carroll. God we missed
Speaker 2: that guy, and he does a big old editorial on this,
Speaker 2: saying how horrible this is because this sex offender had
Speaker 2: not ever agreed to go through sex offender treatment, which
Speaker 2: you or I or Ryan or Kelly would be required
Speaker 2: to do to end up becoming parole eligible. It's just
Speaker 2: the way the system works when you're convicted of these
Speaker 2: serious sex offenses. This guy, of course that I'm not
Speaker 2: doing it, so he's sitting around in prison. And so
Speaker 2: when Vince Carrol writes this thing, lo and Behold, the
Speaker 2: executive director, a guy named Tom Clements, decides I'm not
Speaker 2: going to sign it after all. So now this dude's
Speaker 2: not going to be repatriated to go to Saudi Arabia
Speaker 2: to serve out his sense in a country where they
Speaker 2: won't let women drive. Instead, he's going to stay in
Speaker 2: our prison system. A week later, a dude, oh god,
Speaker 2: what was that guy's name, The guy who was Evan Ebel,
Speaker 2: whose dad was close friends with Hick and Looper, gets
Speaker 2: released from prison, probably on a mistake. He goes and
Speaker 2: kills Nathan Leone, a piece of delivery guy, takes his outfit,
Speaker 2: shows up in the doorway of Tom Clements's house and
Speaker 2: assassinate him in his doorway, and then flees to Texas
Speaker 2: where he's shot to death by Texas law enforcement authorities.
Speaker 2: Good outcome, honestly for him, Horrible for Tom Clements. And
Speaker 2: as a result, I have sheriff's deputy sitting on my
Speaker 2: house for two weeks. Hick and Looper, who was the
Speaker 2: governor at the time, had increased security, so did the
Speaker 2: US attorneys off US attorney guy named John Walsho's now
Speaker 2: the DA. Because nobody knew what this was about. They
Speaker 2: thought it was about the editorial. So no one has
Speaker 2: interest at this point as a Republican DA in revisiting
Speaker 2: this issue. Nobody this guy has appealed, the appeals all failed.
Speaker 2: There's nothing else going on for this guy. Well, guess
Speaker 2: what happens. New DA comes to town, gets elected a
Speaker 2: Democrat DA, the Democrat DA who has said things like
Speaker 2: I just don't want to incarce eight people any more
Speaker 2: for anything. And so lo and behold, the attorneys for
Speaker 2: this al turkey thug, this rapist show up and file
Speaker 2: something called a thirty five C motion. It's a motion
Speaker 2: you can file at any time claiming that oh, I
Speaker 2: had in affective assistance a counsel. It's a joke, but
Speaker 2: it happens all the time. And in this particular case,
Speaker 2: apparently twenty plus years later, or however long it was,
Speaker 2: like twenty years later, he gets in front of a
Speaker 2: judge who says, man, I'm not really sure his attorneys
Speaker 2: knew what they were doing when they agreed to certain
Speaker 2: jury instructions in certain charges. Are you kidding me? Twenty
Speaker 2: years later, after appeals in the whole thing, judge says,
Speaker 2: defendance Council may not have understood fundamental aspects of the
Speaker 2: submitted jury instructions, particular that misdemeanor unlawful sexual contact could
Speaker 2: be elevated to a felony if the jury found that
Speaker 2: there's the use of force, intimidation or threats. What so
Speaker 2: his own attorneys. This is how this crazy system works, folks.
Speaker 2: Your defense attorneys who fight like hell to get you
Speaker 2: acquitted and then lose, can show up later on and
Speaker 2: with absolute impunity, at no risk to their licenses or anything.
Speaker 2: They get a sited on the stand and say, man,
Speaker 2: we were confused. We didn't know, We really didn't know
Speaker 2: what we were doing. And then the defendant is in a
Speaker 2: position to either get a new trial or as they
Speaker 2: did here, go to the DA's office and say, give
Speaker 2: us a deal so we don't have to do this
Speaker 2: new trial. So the DA's office here caved in and
Speaker 2: did something no Republican would have done in the preceding
Speaker 2: twenty years and gave this guy a deal that allowed
Speaker 2: him to get concurrence sentence never has to do sex
Speaker 2: offender treatment like we would. And now this dude's living
Speaker 2: large in Saudi Arabia, probably sexually assaulting other Saudi Arabian
Speaker 2: women or other women from other Muslim countries who are there.
Speaker 2: But that's the kind of joke where politics now have
Speaker 2: bled into this system to the point where there is
Speaker 2: no justice even if a jury comes back and find
Speaker 2: someone guilty twenty years later, when the defense attorneys can
Speaker 2: show up and say we didn't know what we were doing.
Speaker 2: It seems to me that the law ought to say
Speaker 2: if you show up and say I didn't do a
Speaker 2: good job. I didn't do a good job and it
Speaker 2: caused this guy to be convicted, you ought to stop
Speaker 2: practicing law for some period of time, but we don't
Speaker 2: do that. The law's messed up, folks. Hey, I'm hopeful
Speaker 2: of coming back here and helping the Big Man cover
Speaker 2: in the days that come, but we'll see about that.
Speaker 2: My thanks to Ryan and Kelly. Fantastic job. Love the textures,
Speaker 2: love the callers, stick around, and it's going to be
Speaker 2: someone new and special tomorrow. Until then, filling in for
Speaker 2: the big Guy, it's George Brockler for Dan Kaplis on
Speaker 2: the Dan Caplas Show Peace