Speaker 1: W m n H rip the novels you're listening to.
W m n H.
Speaker 2: Command God don't get Supreme Leada Matzell coming.
Speaker 3: Welcome back everybody as we enter our number three New
Marrow trace of Matt Connorton Unleashed and we are live
from the studios of w m n H ninety five
point three f M and Gloria Manchester, New Hampshire. And
of course you can stream the show online from anywhere
but to my website Matt Connorton dot com slash live
for all of your live streaming options, social media links,
contact and post show archives, et.
Speaker 1: Cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 3: Today is Saturday, April five, twenty twenty five. And by
the way, we are celebrating eight years of Matt Connorton
Unleashed as of this week here at WMNH ninety five
point three FM. Eight years gone in the blink of
an eye, I'll tell you it goes so quick. But
very happy to be here this week and joining us
live in studio. We have Justin Hunters here. Hello, Justin. Oh,
your mic is not on. I apologize. Let's try that again.
Speaker 1: Test tests. There we go. Sorry about that, all right,
Hot Matt.
Speaker 3: Yeah, today's been it's been an interesting day. Let's just say,
I'm glad that we have a live guest here in
studio who is on time. It's a great thing. Don't
take that for granted people, you know, it's funny now.
I'm just I'm being a little funny about it, but
we did. I was explaining off air how today has
been like the the most uh not smooth, shall we say,
day for guests, which is funny because we had a
we had a string of shows going for a long
time where every single week everybody was on time and
it was great and no issue is nothing, and then
all of a sudden, Uh, today has just been.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: I said something about a full moon and then you
said something else I'd never even heard of, and I
was like, oh, I don't know, but anyway, so it's
wonderful to have you here. And we met through a
mutual friend, uh Anthony tone Peyton, and you know, he
he occasionally, he's uh sent us a few people actually
over the year. Is always always very interesting, so you know,
uh he recommended you. So that's uh that was enough
for me to say, hey, let's let's catch you on
you know, because uh, I know you've got a story
to tell. I know you've been through some things. I
don't know too much because, as you know, I like
to not know too much going in because you know,
I like to be I like to approach the conversation
with curiosity. I think that's that's part of what helps
me as an interviewer to do that. But yeah, I mean,
tell us about yourself and we'll we'll start there.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm originally from West Virginia. Moved up to New
Hampshire back last April, okay, and went through some very
hard times towards the end of my stay in West Virginia.
Although I miss it, I'm glad that I made the
move up here and basically went through. What I'll get
into on the show is my about with homelessness and
how I when I moved up here, was able to
achieve stability through staying staying in the same job. It
put me back on my feet. I got a new
support system around me because the old support systems all
the way down there. And while I stayed in contact
with with everyone that was, you know, really helping me
out and and just people I was close to. It's
it's been an interesting transition, and my life has become
very different, and I've become very different because of because
of the entire process.
Speaker 3: So what was it they brought you so West Virginia,
that's where you're from originally, So what brought you from there?
Speaker 1: To hear it?
Speaker 3: I mean, do you like being cold in the winter
or what?
Speaker 4: Well, the weather, the weather is something I've had to
get used to. But it gets it gets pretty cold
down there too. Oh yeah, well for sure, definitely gets
more human in the summer, That's.
Speaker 1: What I've heard. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never been there in the summertime. I've been
in that area, but not in the summertime.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: But but but yeah, it for for I'm losing my
train of thought for for me, you know, back back
to what I was saying, basically, uh, when I when
I got up here, you know, I I basically immediately
started looking for a job, and not just any job,
but a good full time job, something that I knew
that I would that would take up most of my
time really and started doing.
Speaker 1: Basically a delivery work.
Speaker 4: And it it thrust me into this mode where you know,
I was I had to I had to come into
work every day, and that was not something I was
doing prior to this. I was very unreliable for many years,
spotty background as far as my career and stuff like
and work, and I just I just made as many
changes as I possibly could to become a I don't
want to say a true adult, but you know, to
mature as a person.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 4: And so after doing that, this job got me in
really good physical condition. I quit a lot of vices
that I had coming up here. Nothing too bad, but
just you know, just wasting my own time most of
the time instead of spending it productively, you know, getting
myself a stack published and yeah, you know. And so
so by doing that in any less than a year,
I was able to turn my life completely around. An apartment,
got a new car, and uh, you know, and and
I'm much happier.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's it's very it's very very different. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So so coming up here. So so you were able
to really turn things around.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: What's interesting to me about that is because a lot
of people will say, and I'm I'm sure some people will.
Speaker 1: Wonder, you know, how like, what was it about it?
Speaker 3: There was about being here that helped you to do that?
Because the Northeast is expensive, and I don't I don't
know what it's like in West Virginia exactly, but I
would assume the cost of living is less there than here, absolutely,
especially when you talk about housing, you know, and and
housing is a problem all over the country, but certainly
especially in the Northeast. So so that's interesting to me
that like, like why, like why were you able to
do that here and not there?
Speaker 1: And what was it that you really Because the other thing.
Speaker 3: That's interesting about this too is that sometimes people move.
I've known a lot of people who've packed up and
moved to a new place because they think that if
they do that, you know, that it's going to help
them solve all their problems. And I and then I
look at them and I say, well, you know, there
can be value in that for people. Sure, a new
environment in some instances, But sometimes two people do that
and then they realize, oh, my problems are portable. I
have all the same problems here that I had there.
I took them with me.
Speaker 1: Oops.
Speaker 3: You know, people, because sometimes people trick themselves into thinking,
you know, new environment, I'm going to be a completely
different person because I'm in a new place, and it
doesn't tend to work that way. But in your case,
I mean, you took that and you you made that work.
Speaker 1: Like why, Well, that's a good question.
Speaker 4: And I'll start by saying this that one of the
reasons that I came up here is that I have
family up here. Yeah, and I got to the point
of getting I just got burnt out trying to do
everything by myself. You know, I just I knew that
I could get to that place mentally, and and you
know in life once I once I got myself established,
but I really needed to lean on my family. And
so you know, I I contacted my dad who lives
in New Hampshire, and I told him what was going
on that you know, here's the second time around where
I'm facing homeless homelessness had a break down in the
situation that I was in. Here we go again, And
he said, well, why don't you just come up justin
And you know, a few years prior to that, I
had kind of planned on moving back to New Hampshire
or moving up to New Hampshire and to just basically
spend more time with him too, to spend more time
with my father. Yeah, and so I said, all right,
you know, what, I'm just going to do it. And
you know, I've I've I've moved before and you know,
and and so it always kind of just works out,
you know, but you got to take the staffs, YadA, YadA, YadA.
But of course, but anyway, so I so I did that,
and with he was a big part of the support
system that I had. And it wasn't that he did
anything I don't want to say extravagant. It was just
having having his presence and the pressure of having my
father as an adult, I'm going to be forwarding in
another week, and uh, you know, and I I just
I just didn't want to let him down. And having
that pressure really helped me to just honestly get up
for work every single day and and just do what
I needed to do. And then by the end of
the day, I was dog tired, and he was dog
tired because he's still working at that time.
Speaker 1: Sure, sure, you know.
Speaker 4: Retired, but finding things to do, and it just was
it was something that I hadn't experienced in many years.
I've been a strange from my face only for a while,
and being able to come back up here, uh uh
and spend that kind of spend that kind of time
with my dad and and do these these essential steps
to get myself you know going, you know is is
really what is really?
Speaker 1: What did it? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Sometimes I think, you know, having somebody believe in you
is uh, because I think a lot of people who
fall through the cracks, you know what happens because no one.
It's hard to believe in yourself if nobody else believes
in you, and your dad obviously did believe in you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then so when.
Speaker 3: Someone believes in you, yeah, you feel I think you
described it well when you talked about that pressure when
somebody believes in you, you don't want to because human
beings to varying degrees. But I think something that is
in most people is we don't like letting people other
We don't like letting other people down. We don't like
disappointing people, so we try not to. So if nobody
believes in you, then it really doesn't matter in the
sense that well you have no you know, you can
you can let yourself down. People are people almost are
more comfortable with letting themselves down than with letting other
people down. Right, So if you if you have no
one to let down, then what does it matter, right.
I think that's the mindset that a lot of people
get to. But if you have someone who believes in you,
even if it's only a little bit, that can make
a huge difference because then you don't want to let
them down. You don't want them to feel you don't
want them to feel foolish forever having believed in you.
You don't want uh yeah, you don't want them to
be upset with you. All of it, All that goes
with that. So it sounds like having your father believe
in you, that gave you a reason to make sure
that you didn't fail.
Speaker 1: Well, that's right.
Speaker 4: And you know another another part of it too is
accepting the help, and it's I think it's a lot harder.
I mean, in might say my twenties, it would it
would be easier for me to or even younger, it'd
be easier to accept help. But admitting that I couldn't,
I couldn't go on on my own anymore, yeap, really hard.
And and I'm glad that I I just admitted and
what would you say, uh, you know, confronted these things
about myself and said okay, I need help, and and
and took the help and then made the steps on
my own. But yeah, the pressure, it's it. I think
it's important to use pressure and fear to your advantage
and and know that it's your friend. It's you know,
it's it's it's a it's an extremely powerful force that
can motivate you in the right direction.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I think we tend to think of.
Speaker 1: Some people. I think tend to think of.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, fear is is bad and you should
have no fear and and you know, I think the
way the way you put it is good because it
can be your friend. I mean, obviously fear, you know,
you don't want to go through life afraid of everything.
And of course fear can be extremely harmful. Fear can
keep you from achieving things because fear can stop you
from trying things right, you know. But I think also, yeah,
it can be your friend, and that you know, fear
of you know, fear, for example, use fear to motivate
you in terms of achieving financial objectives because you have
a maybe you have a fear of being homeless again,
or or a fear of starving, or you know, or
a fear of letting other people down, and so so
any of these things can be can be positive.
Speaker 1: Fear pressure, stress.
Speaker 3: You know, people talk about stress and people say, oh,
you know, I just want to not have any stress. Well,
you actually do want to have a little bit of stress.
You don't want to have stress to the point where
it's unhealthy. But some stress is good. Some stress is
positive because you want to be challenged, you don't. You know,
people say, oh, I just want everything to be easy. Yeah,
people think they want everything to be easy.
Speaker 1: You don't want.
Speaker 3: Everything to be too hard, But you don't want everything
to be too easy either. Because of the way humans are,
the way we're wired, the way we're conditioned, we do
need some degree of challenge in our lives. Otherwise we
get bored, we get complacent. I think humans are like sharks.
When we stop moving, we die.
Speaker 1: You know. That's why people who.
Speaker 3: For example, it's a little bit of a side street,
but there's no shortage of data that shows that people
who retire and just retire completely, like they don't stay
active and passionate about something die earlier than people who
retire from whatever their full time career was. But they
still have things that excite them. Maybe they work a
part time job, maybe they find a new career. Maybe
they volunteer somewhere. You know, in New Hampshire, a lot
of people, you know, because it doesn't pay money to
be a state rep. And New I think they get
one hundred dollars stipend. But you know, to serve in
the New Hampshire state legislature, it doesn't. It's not a
paying job. It is in both states. So you know, uh,
some people who retire they run for office. But but
you have to have purpose and and so you have
to have some degree of stress and pressure and what
you describe as using those things in a positive way
to help you succeed. Ego is another great example. You know,
people say, well, ego is bad, you shouldn't have, you know,
too much ego. You can have unhealthy ego. You can
have outsized ego where you know you think you're better
and smarter than everybody. Or you can have an unhealthily,
unhealthfully small ego where you have low self esteem. You know,
those are both bad, but having some degree of ego
will help you to succeed in life because you know,
you've got to believe in yourself, right right, Yeah, So
I think what you've described for examples where you can
take those things that people think are negative, like stress
and ego and all of it. But but those can
be your friend and and you can use those in
healthy ways.
Speaker 4: Yes, well, well, and this brings this brings me to
another point. That one when I the first time that
year that I became homeless, I I was basically sleeping
out of my car at the at the skate park.
Basically I spent a lot of my time there, and
I can get into that later about skating a long
time and all that. And I wrote on the top
of the vinyl of the that there's there's no bell
coming to save you. Nobody is coming to help you.
And I was completely I was in this really interesting
moment that I'll never forget in my life that I
was just completely isolated by myself, no one to call,
no one. It was just me alone in this situation.
And luckily, luckily, I you know, took that as a
good moment. I didn't let it defeat me. I didn't
do anything poorly drastic. I think that I think that
for me personally when I when I was dealing with
being homeless. And this doesn't speak for everybody, but for me,
what I learned in these moments of frustration and just
being devastated by where I was at? Is it just
to keep pushing forward? You have to keep moving forward
and use that pressure to fuel you. You've got to
have some kind of dream that's bigger than just the basics.
It's almost like kind of like people have their one
year plan and they have their three to five year plan.
And for me to equate that to when I'm talking
about it, it's that you have the bare minimum stuff,
you know, get get stable, get out of your you know,
I was like living out of my car at the time,
So get out of living in your car. And then
where do you really want to go? Where would you
what would get you to a position whether you would
never be in this situation again, whether you have whether
you have a strong support system or or whatever around you,
and how do you achieve that? And then just start
kind of making the strides forward in both those directions. Yeah,
use your time wisely and keep yourself busy in that way.
That was how I blossifized about it again.
Speaker 3: Now, how did you how did you end up in
that situation?
Speaker 1: To begin with? What what led to that? Well?
Speaker 4: Years back, I had a lot of mental health issues
that kept me, kept me in and out of jobs. Yeah,
I was, Like I said, I was very unreliable.
Speaker 1: Now I was. I was good.
Speaker 4: I was an easy person to get along with it work,
but it was very challenging for me for for me
to get myself to go to work every day. So
that was a big thing. And you know, I would
have stints where, you know, for a week, I would
I wouldn't be able to go to work, I wouldn't
be able to leave my apartment.
Speaker 1: You know. And it was it was it depression, it
was more, it was more than that.
Speaker 4: It was more than that, and it was it was
it was debilitating in that way that I where I
had to at that time. That was my biggest struggle
is my mental health issues.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I've made, you know, great strides over the years
through through different resources, different help, but it's a lot
of it has been self help that I've done to
be able to just the bare minimum get out of
bed blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah and all that.
But that's that's what I was dealing with back then.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Oh, by the way, Jenny made a great comment in
the chat. She said, fear can be the birthplace of courage. Yeah, oh,
absolutely absolutely, I agree.
Speaker 1: Oh and beat Pinardi is in there too.
Speaker 3: By the way, Hello b she says, good morning everyone.
So it was more than so, it was more than depress.
The reason I asked about the depression is because I can.
I can relate to some of what you were describing
when it's difficult, like you know what you have to do,
but it's difficult to do it. I'm someone who's I'm
I'm technically undiagnosed, but I've struggled with what I believe
to be clinical depression my entire life, or at least
going back to when I was a teenager. So I
know that sometimes you know, they're things that you know
you should be doing that are good for you. It
becomes like, you know, where it becomes a catch twenty
two is with exercise, because there's no shortage of data
and research that shows that exercise is the single best
way to fight depression, even you know, better than any
pill you can take. And I'm not anti medication. I'm
not medicated myself, but but I think medication is valuable
for a lot of people. But exercise is the number
one thing. But where it becomes a catch Twenty two.
Is that thing that you know is going to help
you to feel better, you know, to get up and
go for a run or go for a walk or
whatever it is. It's hard to find the motivation to
do that one thing when you're so depressed that you
don't feel like doing anything, and it almost feels like
like you're like you're just stuck, you know, just completely stuck.
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, well, no, you're right about that, right about that.
Speaker 1: And I and I'm not anti medication either. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I I've been on and off medication at different points
in my life. And uh, and sometimes it's helpful, sometimes
a backfires. Sometimes you have to you have to figure
out what the right combination is for you, depending on
what kind of concerns you have or health issues you're
dealing with. And you know, and and and that's why
it's hard to stay on medications for a lot of
people because they don't want to deal with side effects
and I don't want to deal with the conjunctions of
the medications working against.
Speaker 1: Each other sometimes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and uh, you know, but but to your point, absolutely,
exercise in almost in any form, is a good thing. Yep,
you know, for people that have that are high tempered.
You know, combat sports are great for me. It's been skateboarding.
I've been skateboarding for over probably over twenty five years.
Speaker 1: I think about it. I've just I just will not.
Speaker 4: I can't quit it, even though my body kind of
wants me to stop at this point, I just don't.
Speaker 1: I love it so much.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've seen it change so many lives, including mine.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, so I'm curious about that. I'm curious about
the role that that's played.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you alluded to it earlier. Yes, Oh, I'd
love to talk about yeah. Yeah, please.
Speaker 4: Well, I started I started skating back probably what I
started probably fourteen or fifteen years old, but I had
dabbled with it a little bit here and there as
when I was younger. I've always been into like individual sports,
whether it was swimming, diving, gymnastics. I've always been into
some kind of extracurricular activity outside of scholastics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and things, but for skating.
Speaker 4: For as far as skating goes, I've always I've met
all my best friends through it. I've had some of
the best times of my life on trips and and
and and solo times with it too. Because it's a
it's an inexpensive activity you can get into. Yeah, almost
anyone can do it.
Speaker 1: I couldn't.
Speaker 3: Trust me. I'm a klutz. I have the manual dexterity
of a bab boon. I'd probably end up in a
full body cast if I'd ever tried it.
Speaker 1: Oh, well, that does well.
Speaker 4: It does happen where somebody that deals with the uncoordin
nature of themselves tries to drop in on a quarter
pipe or something and just breaks their arm right out
of the gate.
Speaker 1: Never happened to me. Never happened to me.
Speaker 3: I fully understand and embrace my limitations. No, but I
know what you're saying though, Like there's a low barrier
of entry for like, you know, anybody can buy I
don't know how much a skateboard even costs, but I'm
sure you know you can. You can get a cheap
one kind of entry level right to get started.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, And I mean and that that's kind of
the I mean it. It has gotten definitely more expensive,
especially in the last like five years. It's just the
nature of the market.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 4: But outside of that, really, if you if you want
to be safe and get pads, especially if you're a
kid or you're a good parent. You want to make
sure your kid's protected. Yeah, get him everything from risk
ards to a helmet, get him full pads. Yeah, and
don't let them. Nobody's really going to bully anybody at
the skate park anymore. It's not like the nineteen nineties
where it was, you know, lame to wear pads. Yeah,
now it's it's whatever. It's an opinionated issue. But but
for me, I don't mind it. I'd rather I believe
in skating safe. I believe skating later into your You know,
there's guys that are way older than me that are
still skating on a professional level. Really that that not
just the big names, but the underground guys and so,
you know. But anyway, back to put back to what
I was saying. You know, so I started when I
was younger, and it's just stayed with me over the years.
It stayed with me through many moves all over, not
all over the East Coast, but different parts of the
East Coast, and it's been interesting the different people I've
met and how skating is different in certain places. Some
places it's more accessible, there's more parks, like in Maryland
as supposed to hear, but up here people are really
fighting for new parks to.
Speaker 1: To be developed.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and uh, and it's and it's it's it's an
uphill battle in a lot of ways.
Speaker 3: And we we need indo our parks, I assume, right,
because because otherwise, for you know, two or three months
out of the year, you're kind of screwed.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yeah, you know, And I mean that could be
as simple as you know, uh, converting an old warehouse
that's not being used into a park.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to.
Speaker 4: I won't go too much into it because there's a
lot of logistics with it, in insurance and and sorts
of things. But but yeah, ideally indoor facilities would be
great in the Northeast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. So so how old were
you were you when you started that skateboarding?
Speaker 1: Fourteen or fifteen? I would say, And.
Speaker 3: What what got you into it? What was this something
where a lot of your peers were doing it?
Speaker 1: And there was it?
Speaker 4: Well, I had moved to a new town, yeah, and
I didn't have any friends, moved away and from where
I was living at and you know, I was doing
something different at the time, and the local kids were
were not kids, but the local peers there were were
all skateboarding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I checked it out and I really liked it.
Speaker 4: And that would have been around ninety eight or well,
that would have been around ninety nine. And at that time,
that's when Tony Hawk landed the nine hundred in the
X Games, and it was this huge deal and it
was on Sports Center, and I mean it was a
highly visible moment skateboarding history. And when I saw that,
it wasn't the trick that got me interested in skateboarding,
and just like the gravity of the moment, but it
was watching all of the other professional skateboarders at that
Best Trick contest around Tony Hawk shutting. Everything stopped, everyone
stopped skating, The contests had basically ended, and everybody was
just giving him as much support as possible so that
he could get this done.
Speaker 1: And he did.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it really was because of the crowds, enthusiasm,
the host, salmas Kela and everybody, and and all the
skateboarders around him, you know, being in his corner. And
that was something I wanted to be a part of.
That's what termed me onto skating interesting.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, so yeah, well that's that's very positive. Is
he the most He's got to be, right, the most
famous skateboarder.
Speaker 1: He's definitely the most well known.
Speaker 3: I know because I see him on Like I never
got into skateboarding, but you know, he's ubiquitous and that.
You know, he's on the cover of video games and
magazines and you know even today.
Speaker 1: I mean he's and I.
Speaker 3: Think he also does a he does a podcast with
another famous is it Jason Ellis Ellis Jason Ellis called
Hawk Versus Wolf? Okay, okay, we'll do an unscheduled plug
for that. Yeah, yeah, I've seen that on YouTube, so
I'm a little bit familiar with that. Who, Like, are
are there other names I might know who were really mainstream?
Speaker 1: I feel like Tony Hawk as well.
Speaker 4: One of there's a freestyle skateboarder that that transitioned into
streets street skating that's very famous named. His name's Rodney Mullin.
He's done a Ted Talk couple, I think a couple
of Ted.
Speaker 1: That name is familiar. Okay.
Speaker 4: He's a really interesting, uh person, very very smart real yeah,
oh definitely, yeah, there's there and and that with Rodney
is completely different from Tony and completely different from other
influential skateboarders. Yeah, they're all individuals. And that's another thing
that I really like about skating. Yeah, it really is.
You know, when at that age, being fifteen, I was
looking for my identity. At that time, I was not
you know, removed from that crisis teenager, and and really
it helped me develop so much character, just like it
did for these guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense. Did you ever do
it professionally.
Speaker 4: Or never professionally? And honestly, it's because I'm not on
that level, but I love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: So when you so you started that when when you
were pretty young, were there periods in your life where
you had gotten away from it completely? And because I'm
wondering if that and and did that play a role
in kind of those times where things got pretty tough
where you were homeless and and so forth, or or or.
Speaker 1: How does that how does that fit in?
Speaker 4: Well, Well, there's two answers to that. One is that
I have taken a few breaks skateboarding. One was when
I was in college and I was I was a
psych major and a biology major. Yeah, and it took
up a lot of my time. Yeah, very into that
and it was very goal oriented and time so I
I just didn't have the time for skating. So I
kind of just set it aside so that I could
focus on being the best student I could be. Yeah,
makes sense, mainly because I have all kinds of learning disabilities,
so I for sure and outside of that, and and
oh and then the other time I took a break
for a little while was when I got into martial arts,
and so that was something where I still skated from
time to time, but most of my free time was
just taken up with training. You know.
Speaker 1: What what what martial arts?
Speaker 4: What one ti okay and a little bit of judo.
It was kind of different things I was.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 4: I ended up just falling in with this crowd that
did all They were all different, had different martial arts backgrounds.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that's now.
Speaker 3: The diversity of that of that is interesting because because uh,
I used to do for only for about five or
six years. I did g kundo and as you know,
it's a mix of everything. You know that Bruce Lee
kind of put you know, you through everything into the pot.
Although we kind of focused on the two things that
we did the most of which were my two favorite
things were kickboxing and and uh just jiu jitsu you know,
which I which I loved. But but no, but it
sounds like so you had a like your exposure to
it was pretty diverse.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like, which is cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it definitely was. And it was you know, we
we just we all got along.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: There was definitely a competitive nature to it, which made
it fun, you know, and and and yeah, and I
was kind of their guinea pig. They really just see
how techniques would would work out if they performed at
full speed with me, and I just would hit the
ground hard, you know, yeah hard, you know.
Speaker 1: I could really I can relate to that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have a lot of respect for that that
you studied you can do. I'm a big Bruce Lee fan. Yeah, yeah, absolutely,
But yeah, those are those are the two periods of
time that I that I paused skateboarding, But when I
was homeless, I skateboarded more than that, more than I
normally would.
Speaker 3: Okay, had so when you were homeless, because you talked
earlier about you know the importance of not giving up
and and being able to uh formulate goals in terms
of where you would rather be, where you want to
be and getting ultimately getting to a point where you're
not going to be in that position again. Had you
not had skateboarding, do you think that, I mean, it's
you know, it's hypothetical, But had you not had the skateboarding,
do you think you would have you would have given up?
Do you think you would have fallen into that hole
where it's just it's there's no coming back.
Speaker 4: I think I think for me, I would have I
hate to say that I would have crumbled under the pressure.
Speaker 1: For me, I'm.
Speaker 4: By nature, I'm a very strong willed, independent person. Yeah,
and I it's not that I wasn't going to let
those that that situation of being homeless and destitute keep
me down.
Speaker 1: But it was heavy. I mean they were rough times. Yeah. Yeah,
could have been a lot worse for sure.
Speaker 4: But you know, it's like I if I didn't have
a car, you know that that would have been I
really feel for everyone out there that is experiencing true homelessness.
Oh yeah, and you know, but but for me, skating
kept me together. It it kept me continuing to be
sober from alcohol. I like I personally, thankfully, I've never
had a serious narcotic issue problem anything like that. Yeah.
But but alcohol is definitely advice yep for me. Yeah,
and uh, and it it just it kept me. It
kept me, uh, it kept my spirits up. It kept
me something to focus on when I would get up
in the morning and I would try to prepare things. Yeah,
just I basically was sleeping at the skate park. It
was a it was a what's called the DIY do
it yourself skate park where it's built by like I
was one of the people that helped build some things
there and and but it was already existing when I
got there. Yeah, And so it was a safe place
for me to be able to sleep and park my
car at night. Oh not a not the worst area,
but pretty rough. You got to kind of know where
to go.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course you're where you're staying for the night.
And uh yeah, no, but it definitely helped. I mean
it was it was my biggest It's been my biggest
ally throughout all the challenges I face.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So what was the would alcohol be the biggest challenge?
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 4: No, my own mind is the biggest chance health, well
not just mental health, but just getting in my own way,
you know, and and letting, letting my my fears and
oppositions I feel against me get get too much in
the way. Yeah, skateboarding fills me with a fire that
helps me push forward through pain, emotional pain especially, and
and all the physical lessons that you get taught through skating.
And you've you've actually hit on quite a few in
this in this broadcast, and you know is one of
the one of the main things is that you know
when you fall get back up. That's that's one of
the biggest.
Speaker 1: That's true that I get.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting you say that because people say that
as a cliche, right, it's a it's an expression. But
I guess skateboarding teaches you that quite literally, when you
fall you get back up.
Speaker 1: Or anything where you get you know, or I don't know,
bull riding or.
Speaker 3: Anything where you get where you fall, if you have
to literally get back up, and you learn to get
back up, no matter how painful it is, no matter
how hard the fall was, you you learn now you
get back up. And I wouldn't have thought of that
until you said that. But that's that's very interesting, is there.
So I also I would assume and again I've never skateboarded,
because uh, it would it would probably kill me. I mean,
I'm that clumsy. I actually it hurt myself the other
day just putting away my clothes in a in a
dress or drawer.
Speaker 1: I'm not No, it's okay to laugh. It is hilarious.
Speaker 3: But what's funny is it's like it's not even me
trying to be funny, though this literally happened. Like I'm
I'm putting clothes, clean clothes in a dress or drawer
and putting some shirts in the drawer, and I, you know,
I opened the drawer with my right hand. I'm putting
the clothes in with my left hand. And somehow in
that instance, this is how clumsy I truly am. It
didn't occur to me to pull my right hand back.
I'm sorry to pull my left hand back out before
shutting the drawer with my right hand. So I just
shut the drawer on my own hand. I just hurt
myself putting away close. That's how clumsy I am. Anyway,
I think it's hereditary. I get it from my mother.
She's a klutz.
Speaker 1: But uh so, yeah, so I don't do anything.
Speaker 3: Where I might get hurt, because I will get although
I never got hurt doing gcundo.
Speaker 1: I was going to ask you about that.
Speaker 3: You know why, though I think I know I've in
fact as clumsy as I am. I've never broken a bone,
I've never fractured anything or sprained anything or anything. But
I think it's because I'm constantly I'm so cognizant of
my own clumsiness that I think it keeps me from
seriously injuring myself, you know what I mean, Like, I'm
always very cognizant of it. So I even doing even
doing g kundo like I I mean, I probably lost
every match I ever had against anybody, you know, just sparring.
But but I also I was always very cognizant of
what not to do to hurt myself. So I think
I think that's kept me safe in a sense. But
it's like my own sort of mental bubble wrap that
I've wrapped myself in, you know, even cutting food. Like
if I'm using a knife to cut food, I do
it very slowly and deliberately, so I don't cut my
fingers off.
Speaker 1: It's it.
Speaker 3: But anyway, I would assume though that there's also a
kind of a meditative aspect to skateboarding, absolutely, because when
you're skateboarding and This is something I don't know if
you know this about me, But I'm also a hypnotherapist,
and I often talk to you know, because meditation and
hypnosis they're you know, they're they're really the same thing.
But all hypnosis is meditation, and all all meditation is
a form of hypnosis.
Speaker 1: But when you're.
Speaker 3: When you're in a meditative state, you know, you're taking
yourself out of your present reality and you're you're going
to wherever you're going in your mind. And an example
that I like to give to people is when you're
driving a car. If you drive the same route to
work every day, it's actually a state of hypnosis you
put yourself in because you're not as you're driving, you're
not consciously thinking, Okay, I need to stop here, I
need to turn here, I need to accelerate here, or
break here. You just do it because you're going a
thousand other places in your mind. Over the course of
that drive you're taking, you're putting yourself in another place mentally.
So I would assume that when you're skateboarding, you're probably
not consciously thinking. In the beginning, I'm sure you are,
but once you get good at it, you're probably not
consciously thinking, Okay, I need to do this, I need
to do that, I need to move this way. I
don't know the terminology because I'm not a skateboarder. But
while your mind is probably going, you might be solving
problems in your mind while you're skateboarding, right, You might
be setting goals, you might be doing whatever it is
you do mentally because you're not necessarily consciously thinking about
the skateboarding itself.
Speaker 4: Yes, well absolutely, And you know you're for me. You know,
like I've got a few tricks that I know very
very well, and my body automatically knows exactly what to do.
Speaker 1: I know where to put my feet, muscle memory.
Speaker 4: Totally, you know, like how much pressure my toes are
going to be on the board versus the other parts
of my foot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know.
Speaker 4: And so to that point, one question I have for
you is do you do you think that the flow
state and a meditative state are one the same thing
or are they separate?
Speaker 1: I think it depends.
Speaker 3: I think it it well, it depends on what you're
what you're doing with the meditation, because meditation is a
broader thing than people realize. Like, for example, most people
would not think of driving a car as a form
of meditation. That's an interesting question though, But I wouldn't.
I wouldn't say they're the same thing.
Speaker 4: What I you know, for me, like the flow state,
it's it's hard for me to get into that. Yeah,
and I skate because I'm an overthinker. Yeah right, yeah,
so I can relate to that. But I definitely it's
it does happen. Yeah, it happens when I'm not thinking
about it. Yeah, and then all of a sudden, I'm like, wow,
I'm really on today, you know. And I will recognize
it in other skateboarders. If I spend a lot of
time like the Old the old group that I spent
a lot of time with back in West Virginia, I
would see these specific guys where I.
Speaker 1: Would know they were on point and they were in
that state. Yeah you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I bet you if they if you ask
them what are you thinking about? They're like, I'm not
thinking about anything right now. They're just they're just freeze
a bird.
Speaker 1: Right, But they are.
Speaker 3: But they don't realize it because you're you're never not thinking.
But you've raised But yeah, you've raised an interesting question though, Yeah,
because people will tell you. See something I can't do
is you know the types of the types of meditation
of course, where you know you're supposed to clear your
mind right of all thought and let everything go.
Speaker 1: Yep, I don't know how. I don't know how to
do that, you know what I mean? Yeah, because but
I don't.
Speaker 3: But my theory is though that most people don't know
how to do that, because even if you're sitting there thinking,
I'm clearing my mind of all thoughts, well, you're having
a thought, you're thinking about clearing your mind, you know
what I mean. I don't know, so I don't know
if that's even real. Now, anyone who does say trans
transcendental meditation or anything, we'll tell you that I'm wrong.
But I just I don't know that that's real.
Speaker 4: Because I think I correct me if I'm wrong. But
I think you're supposed to not attach yourself to thoughts
coming in when you're trying to get into the meditation
stay correct.
Speaker 1: Well, certain types of meditation.
Speaker 3: Certainly, I what I tell people because for example, when
I'm when I'm bringing somebody into a state of hypnosis
and I'm giving them these you know I'm telling them.
You know, you're very relaxed, and I'm telling them that,
you know, you feel like you're floating or whatever it is.
You know, everybody's I'll do different things for different people,
but I do give them suggestions that you don't have
any intrusive thoughts, you don't have any any worries, any cares.
Nothing is distracting you, not sounds, not thoughts, nothing, and
you're able to just focus on the moment. But I
also tell them something I tell them before I even
start the session is if, during the course of the session,
if your mind starts to go other places, if you
lose track of what I'm saying to you and your
mind starts to go elsewhere, you start daydreaming or whatever,
just go with it. Just let it happen, because it's
it's so it's not about, at least the way I
do it. And even you know, hypnosis specifically, there's different
ways to do it. But I don't necessarily because I
don't want the client to think that, you know, if
they start to daydream, if they start to go elsewhere,
if something else starts to come in, I don't want
them to fight that too much because if you start
fighting it, well then you're not, then you're not relaxed, right,
So I tell them, you know, just kind of go
with it, because whatever happens, just go with it. And
just know that even if you lose track of what
I'm saying to you, your subconscious mind is still going
to record all of it. Okay, Yeah, if that makes sense,
I hope. I hope that made sense a way I
said that. You know, like You've got me thinking about
it in a way that I've never quite thought about before.
So that's interesting. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And you know, like, well, I'm going to I'm
gonna maybe sidetrack the conversation.
Speaker 1: A little bit. Yeah, that's fine, but we have time.
Speaker 4: What I what I wanted to say was that one
of the ways that I, uh, one of the ways
that that I was able to recover mentally a lot
from a lot of anguish that I brought with me
up here, and how I've gotten stable and all that, Yeah,
was doing this kind of delivery work that I was.
I'm going to go way back in the beginning of
this conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but.
Speaker 4: I spend so much time on the road alone in
between these deliveries because I wasn't I wasn't doing Amazon delivery,
doing pharmaceutical delivery, so like you know, four or five
stops you know that are sort of close to each other,
then doing payroll. So I but I would have these
big windows of time where I'm just alone in the car.
I could have music on obviously or whatever, but I
spend so much time processing old stuff that I hadn't
I hadn't really thought about in a long time, and
then current stuff that I brought with me that I
really needed to deal with.
Speaker 1: And I if.
Speaker 4: I didn't have that job that was so incredibly challenging
for me in the beginning, and it's still continued to
be challenging to me on a daily basis. It was
absolutely what it was probably the best professional experience I've
ever had because it allowed me to heal. Spending that
time alone the best thing that could have happened.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting, and that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Are you Are you comfortable?
Speaker 3: So it sounds like you're someone who's comfortable with that,
with being alone because some people, some people can't be alone,
you know.
Speaker 4: I honestly, prior to being here, I was never comfortable
being alone really and that led to a lot of
relationship problems that I had just being in and out
of relationships because I wasn't you know, I wasn't present,
or I would just have drifting eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean. I'm telling you.
Speaker 4: It's if there's a big piece of advice I could
give somebody, is to give if you're dealing with not
being able to be alone, force yourself to make give
yourself that time. Give yourself a lot of time be alone. Yeah,
and you know, take time for yourself, you know, And
and heal, heal the wounds within. Yes, And and that's it.
And I mean I'm not going to promise that you're
going to achieve happiness through that, but you'll definitely have
a clearer mind, and you'll be more open to the present,
and you'll be more open to what you actually want
out of life.
Speaker 3: Right right, Yeah, absolutely, I think that's uh. I think
that's really good advice. So now, how long how long
have you been up here?
Speaker 1: It's a year and it's been almost exactly a year
or now not that long?
Speaker 3: Do you keep in touch with uh people back in
West Virginia? Because I know sometimes people when they when
they move and they they really kind of turn things around.
They want to leave, leave the past, including relationships behind.
I mean, do you keep in touch with anybody or
have you kind of created some separation there?
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 4: I try to keep in touch as best I can
and I and I and there are a couple of
people that that I'm still talking to, probably more now
that I'm up here than I did speaking to them
when I was there. I've got a friend of mine
that lives in Maryland that that that I talked to often,
but as far as you know, like ex girlfriends and
things like that, not really. And I think it's I
think it's important, especially now that I'm in a relationship
and I'm in a committed relationship, to turn that page
and not not allow myself to to keep the past
present super present in my life. That's one way that
I've definitely grown through this experience. I definitely was not
a very committal person. I wanted to, but I really couldn't.
I just didn't have, I guess, the maturity level to
do it. But really it was about choices, I think,
and you know, moving move into the future, I've just
chosen to be the kind of man that I would
be proud of and that and and to honor the
person that I'm with. Yeah, regardless if it works out
or not in the future, right, you know, I believe
it will, but say it doesn't. I don't want to
have any regrets leaving the relationship that I did something
that I definitely could have been preventable. You know, you know,
as you know, how do I say that? You know
you're going to deal with You're going to deal with
attention from the opposite sex, whether you're a man or
a woman, and you have to choose where you draw
the line in the sand. You don't have to be
rude about and say, hey, I have a you know,
I'm in a relationship. You don't have to be like that,
But just be mature enough and have enough respect for
your partner to not not destroy what they're also trying
to build with you.
Speaker 1: That's a good way of putting it. Absolutely.
Speaker 3: So we're getting a little bit close to the top
of the hour, So just a couple of things I
want to make sure we we uh we touch on.
Speaker 1: I mean, are you.
Speaker 3: What what are you doing now? Is there anything specific
that you're doing now to make sure that you remain
on this very positive path that you're on.
Speaker 4: I am I am focusing on a couple of things
other than maintaining the employment that I do currently have.
Speaker 1: I'm doing volunteer work and that's what I was curious about.
I want to hear about that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I wasn't sure if I could, if I
could say who it is. Oh, absolutely So I do
volunteer work and I encourage anybody to come down and
support us and what we're doing at Manchester Police Athletics League.
I'm one of the coaches on Wednesday for skateboard class.
It's it's it's genuinely an excellent experience for for any
any ability level of kid that wants to come down
and uh, you just come in sign a waivery and
you can come in and where there's quite a few
of us in there as coaches that can help the
little ones or even somebody that's fifteen or sixteen that
just wants a safe place to skate indoors. That's super nice. Yeah, Uh,
just come on in and support and and and that's
one of the things I'm doing.
Speaker 3: Okay, excellent, Oh that's fantastic.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then outside of that, my my dream right now,
I don't you can cut me off if you want
to with this, but my dream is to is to
be in the communications industry here in New Hampshire.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: So that could either be at a television station or
at a radio station yep. And so over the next
few months, I'm going to try to find the right
place to either do internship shadow work, I you know,
and I'd like to just get my foot in the
door with that. That's what that's honestly what I would
like to do moving forward for my life.
Speaker 3: You've got a good h I'm sure others have told
you this too. You've got a good voice for you know,
you've got a good deep voice. You know, if you
were to do like something in radio or voice over
work or anything like that, or a podcast or anything.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: I envy your voice. I wish I had. I wish
I had a deeper voice. My dad has like a
I sound like my dad, but he has a deeper
voice than I do. But I think I got stuck
with my mother's nose and I think it makes me
more nasally, and then i'd like to be it's.
Speaker 1: Getting deeper as I get older.
Speaker 3: It's one of the few things better good about getting older,
I guess, is my voice is getting deeper.
Speaker 1: I listened to stuff from ten years ago, and I
sound more like this.
Speaker 3: But uh no, but I but I think I think
that's great. And you know, I think, you know, yeah,
if I can offer any advice, uh you know, or anything,
we you know, we can talk after. But uh no,
I think that's a great thing to pursue. And and
I think you've got a lot to say that I
think can help other people, you know, so so I
I really encourage that too, because I think that I
think a lot of what you've said here is relatable.
I think it's something that actually, you know, homelessness, as
as the cost of housing in this country just keeps
going up. And and you know, we've seen since you know,
post pandemic, rates of homelessness increase everywhere, in some areas
more than others. But but I think there's a lot
of people out there struggling, and I think you have
I think you have a great message. And I think also,
you know, not only a great message, but but there's
some real substance there in terms of ways to you know,
like like skateboarding or or or anything anything physical that
helps you in so many ways get out of that
mental state that you might be in or you know,
or help you to figure out how to solve problems
or or or quite literally the getting up when you
fall down you know, you know.
Speaker 4: Well and getting your aggression out too, and that too. Yeah,
when you're younger.
Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely and doing something positive with all that. So yeah,
so I would h I would definitely encourage that. And
do you have any just we are we are running
short on time, but any any just quick advice for
for people who are who are struggling, who are looking
for a.
Speaker 1: Way out, well for a way forward.
Speaker 4: The best thing to do is, I guess, I guess
my best advice is to believe in yourself no matter
what situation you're in, no matter how bad things look,
they are going to be better on the other side
of it. Yeah, get up every day and make just
a baby step in the right direction from wherever you're at.
Accept help if it's offered, don't just turn it down.
Don't be too proud no matter what what your situation is.
You know, not just the most destitute of us, but
people like me. That was I was still getting up
and going to work, but I was living out in
my car and no one knew, and some of my
friends found out and they're like, okay, you're you're we're
going to let you crash on the couch side.
Speaker 1: And you know it.
Speaker 4: I I don't have enough time to thank all the
people that helped me out back then, but it was
because I was accepting their help and I was I
was also staying away from from things and people that
I knew were going to make things worse. Yeah, and uh,
you know, there's so much more that that you and
I did not cover about this, and we we we
got a little off track on some things. But I
really enjoyed this experience. I've never done anything like this before,
never been on air. Oh okay, okay, thank you so
much for giving me the opportunity.
Speaker 1: Man. Happy anniversary to yourself.
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, Justin, and thank you for joining us,
and uh and you know, and thank you to Tone
for connecting us. But yeah, I appreciate you being here.
This has been very interesting and hopefully it helps somebody too,
you know.
Speaker 4: That's that's that's what I hope. Yeah, just stay positive
out there, folks, and you know, be good to each other,
help each other.
Speaker 1: You could.
Speaker 4: You never know how much of a blessing you can be, Yeah,
someone's life. Anybody can be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely well said, well said, Uh, justin Hunt, thank
you so much. And uh if you if you miss
any part of today's show, it will be up in
just a little bit at wmn hradio dot organ in
my website Mattconnorton dot com. And uh, thank you everybody
who joined us today. And again, thank you to everybody
who else make this possible. It's been been eight years
and uh here's.
Speaker 1: To eight more.
Speaker 3: And uh we'll leave you with a little bit of
this another one of these celebrations songs for for our
eight year anniversary. And justin thank you again. And uh,
I'm sure we'll do this again in the future. And
that's it for me for now. Talk to you all
a little bit later, by everybody.
Speaker 5: Hie as teachers like a little bank you freepost is
saying nice bucking le legencity two always loud we covid
the storm a revel sap a legend is born from
the Santa class crosses the two at least the fire.
Speaker 6: To bring the turning back flight to shere you'll turn
to go down the boat flot cut stop, don't go away.
Speaker 1: That's Horba.
Speaker 3: You are listening to W M and H ninety five point.
Speaker 2: Come in, God, don't get a brief leader, Maxell Goby
Dinner