Speaker 1: The world is big and scary, even when you're extraordinary.
Speaker 2: When life won't.
Speaker 1: Go as planned, we all can use a hand. But
Cocoa doesn't talk to me. Coco doesn't seem to see
that he.
Speaker 3: Needs a friend.
Speaker 2: Hello, everyone, Welcome once again to Coco the Barberia needs
a friend. I'm your erstwhile producer Matt Gurley, and with
me as always, our noble warrior leader and podcast host,
Coco is the Barbarian.
Speaker 3: Thank you, mad girly man. Very happy to be here,
very excited to meet our guest today. She's a very
tough one. I feel like worry on material. Very excited.
Speaker 2: Yes, and up before we get to a guest, of course,
are our co host. I'm hesitant to say sidekick because
she usually kicks me under the table when I say that,
so I'll just say co host red Sona. How are you?
Speaker 4: I'm I'm just great. Matt, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: It unnerves me when you're nice.
Speaker 4: Well you addressed me properly.
Speaker 2: Oh all right.
Speaker 4: Well, and I've been trying this new thing called positive reinforcement.
Speaker 3: Yes, we've both been trying it.
Speaker 2: Have you you've been trying to.
Speaker 3: I haven't been succeeding. But Sana is doing the great
job with it. Oh thank you, I saw the gave op.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think in general, I conside you to
be a fairly positive guy. But when you're giving order, orders,
suggestions a lot of times at that sword point, and
I don't that's maybe not the kind of positive reinforcement.
Speaker 3: Whether you're trying the same. Do I need to thank
my sword out? Do we need?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: I mean, has we discussed many times on this show.
You're not allowed to have the sword in the studio.
You need to check it at security.
Speaker 4: I think, Matt, you could consider letting Coco.
Speaker 3: Have his sword very positive as a form.
Speaker 4: Of positive reinforcement his sword.
Speaker 3: Yes, what if? What if?
Speaker 2: And I'm just spitballing here right on spith of us,
No what if? Because due to external factors, Coco is
not allowed to have his sword in the studio.
Speaker 4: The external factors are, of course.
Speaker 2: You, It's not we're just renting here, right. We have
to follow the landlord's rules.
Speaker 3: But I am the lord down here. I don't think
it will be the landlord. I've conquered the many lands
in my time, and I would say that when there's
a lord who comes up and says, I am the
lord of this land. I say that, first of all, well,
I don't think positively this is what's on. I has
said that. I you know, I tend to think negatively
about this situation and say to myself what should I
do with this lord of the land, and then I
cut the head off. Well, if you would like.
Speaker 2: Again, I can't advocate for this on the air, but
if you somehow ended up as the landlord of this
building and you wanted to maybe eliminate or at least
cut me a deal on the rent, it would really
be a big help, because the advertising dollars are just
barely barely cutting it on our rent here.
Speaker 4: Well, of course they're not cutting it.
Speaker 2: He doesn't have his Yeah. Well again, so again trying
in terms of positive reinforcement. And I know you like
having the sword. What if you just held this remote
control like it was your sword.
Speaker 3: Its god, it's sort of a nice grip to it.
But I don't know when I don't have to slash
things with it. They they're not really doing much slashing
and kidding.
Speaker 2: But you can just you know, maybe just for comfort,
just hold it aloft.
Speaker 3: Well, I suppose that if I I suppose that it
could be a weapon.
Speaker 4: Are we going to continue doing this?
Speaker 2: Oh? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I know that
you have a very tight timetable here. So why don't
we introduce today's guest. We're we're beyond honored to have
you here with us. Let me introduce to everyone multi
billionaire tech genius Atheno O'Brien.
Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: It's you a very special Guestina. If you want the
whole my remouth said, you can hold it.
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 2: I gotta tell you that's pretty big for him, that's
really big for me.
Speaker 3: I excited because you I heard about how many companies
and places that you conquered. And we are looking for concers. Yeah,
I am a conker and we're going to be going
on the big quest that will be coming to a
stream near you. You And.
Speaker 2: He's been practicing his his frog kicks in in the pool.
He really thinks it's a stream. But that's besides the point.
I gotta say, long before we even dreamed of having
a podcast together, Uh, Cocoa and I were bartending together
and we were at it was at the Tiki Shack,
you remember, and they they were broadcasting your your wedding,
and I remember when you almost through every one of
your guests and you're intended into the volcano. I have
never seen this guy so excited.
Speaker 3: I was so excited. I was jumping up and down.
And I said to myself, I said to Sauna, I said, Sana,
we need to be like that. That we need to
And that's when we walked out of the tiki shack.
And well, I did slay a few of the people
now to walk to the volcano, but it was.
Speaker 2: Far yeah, well, yeah, it was on the other side
of the world.
Speaker 3: I didn't stop me from trying.
Speaker 2: No, I mean you you try and and just to
be clear, you had to stop you. You actually burned
the tiki hut to the ground on your way out.
Speaker 3: That's why I went to burn it again. Someday.
Speaker 4: You burned that in my honor.
Speaker 3: Or Well, yeah, I mean it was so impressive when
everyone falling into the volcano and screaming. I thought to myself,
that is how how a conker it works. And uh,
they and I didn't see if you had a sword,
but it seemed to me that no one was preventing
you from having a salt then your volcano leer. Okay, good,
that's what I said. I said that probably they let
her have a salt. Members she just doesn't want to
have a salt, doesn't want to get it wet in
the volcan you no, I understand that.
Speaker 2: Well, if you can find us a volcano with a
podcast studio, I'm not going to stop you.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: I don't suppose you have one in your portfolio, Miss O'Brien.
Maybe some corporate synergy, I deny, Yeah, I get that
a lot. Uh, well, mag Man, I call you Athena. Uh, Athena,
what's new in the tech world? What can we expect
from Athena Corp? You know maybe this holiday season that
I can't afford any of your products.
Speaker 4: No, most people can't. But actually, on that note, uh, Matt,
may I call you man?
Speaker 2: Oh please, I'm glad somebody does.
Speaker 4: We will be releasing the new Athena com five point three.
Speaker 2: Oh five point three.
Speaker 4: Five point three, Yes.
Speaker 3: Sounds better than like five point one or something.
Speaker 4: You could say. It is two points better in fact, yes, Uh,
this is going to be a new model that is
going to be accessible at all price points. We will
be utilizing a sliding scale, to make sure that we
get our technology into the hands of as many people as.
Speaker 2: Possible, even someone on a podcast or.
Speaker 4: Salary, even someone on a podcast.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness about the concos people's results that like
to go around and wear good grease and anco.
Speaker 4: Yes, I believe that's uh in my interest to ensure
that anybody with ambitions of conquering anything has my technology
on them at all times.
Speaker 3: This is great, son, though, we have to make sure
we have a room knapsacks and yeah, car.
Speaker 4: We could add a little foster to your to your
to your sword sheeth.
Speaker 3: Oh, I would like very much.
Speaker 2: I wish you wouldn't use the word sheath. But that's
that's me. That's me, that's me. Okay, thanks Sona positive reinforcement, Sona,
positive reinforcement.
Speaker 4: I feel positive.
Speaker 2: I know you do. Uh so, as you probably are
aware Athena, that part of the rais on the etra
of this podcast is that uh Cocoa and Sona are
assembling a team. They're putting a team of some highly
skilled people together. We've got Larry Hastings. I don't know
if you're familiar with his his work.
Speaker 3: I find he's gonna be a fool.
Speaker 2: He's gonna be our gesture.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, that does seem appropriate.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 2: We had a pretty solid maybe from Christopher walking pretty solid.
Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, little that one.
Speaker 2: He is a little front, but I think I think
that could come in handy work.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not I'm not scared, but other people
will be scared of him.
Speaker 2: So, you know, I know you're you know, you've moved
into the tech space, but you know, we also got
to know you more or less reality television, through your
through your wedding, and of course your criminal exploits. Uh
so I'm sure I know. I mean, I'm sure you don't,
but uh uh, we're just thinking, you know, if we're
gonna relaunch this, I p you know, get a movie
or a streaming a series together. I mean, who better
to have on a regular or recurring basis. Even I
know you're a busy woman. We we'd love to see
Athen O'Brien in there, maybe as a I don't know,
a dark witch. I mean, I'm just spitballing here.
Speaker 3: I mean, Coco, that's a great one, a fantastic one.
Who has a volcano lune to those people in the door,
we love it. Yes, please be all witch hm hm no, uh,
she's saying no the.
Speaker 2: Witch by Maybe try another.
Speaker 3: So you're always.
Speaker 2: You're always looking for a sword carrier.
Speaker 3: Yes, you want to be a sword car Absolutely not. Okay,
if I.
Speaker 4: May, you were on the better woul I won't say
the right track, but a better track with Sorceress and
then your.
Speaker 2: Colleague producer, I.
Speaker 4: Would recommend against letting him.
Speaker 3: This is why I want to do on the team.
You can say that we need to ignore mad Girliman. Oh.
Speaker 4: I think you already know that, but I digress. I
was under the impression that we were here to discuss
h Shall I say intentions that are not appropriate for streaming?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Well, we are open to a private website streaming us,
but we would really like the exposure of a Netflix
or a Disney.
Speaker 3: Plus, I'm not really trying to do anything inappropriate and streams.
I just wanted to go there for my Ventoin purposes.
Speaker 2: And you know that the commitment could be low an
episode or two. You were there just for the draw
of athene O'Brien acting debut es.
Speaker 4: Right, So let me just get this straight. The conquering
that you intend to do, yes, is the relaunch of
your failed.
Speaker 2: I P well, I like to say resting. It's a resting.
Speaker 3: Ips, everybody. We haven't gone the way, We're coming back strong.
We're going to concer.
Speaker 4: Sure, sure, sure, sure, let's pretend if you want, that
is a resting IP. You're planning to revive your IP
and that is the conquering. Just want to make sure
I absolutely understand that when you reached out to Thomas
and yours, Yes, we have plans to conquer the world
and need Athena O'Brien involved.
Speaker 3: Yes, this is what you meant exactly. It's our raisins
of that one. As he said, I, oh, she wait,
she's going.
Speaker 2: But miss O'Brien is leaving.
Speaker 3: I cannot believe this.
Speaker 2: We've never had anyone walk out of the studio. And
I didn't even thriven with my so not even with
the remote, and I was shaped.
Speaker 3: It around a little bit. That was my excitement.
Speaker 2: I was just excited, Sona. I'm particularly shocked because I were.
Speaker 3: You meditating through that whole thing, So that was very
good at meditate one. So on the meditated for three
and a half days on top of the mountain side
where there were goats that were standing on hell because
she was still like the mountain that she was a
place where goats thought that they could go. She ate them,
I did.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'd love to hear more about that story.
I'm just I'm just another shock that you too, You know,
bloodthirsty warriors just let a guest walk off your podcast?
Speaker 3: Well, who do you think we are? Mad? We don't
just slough the people who walk out on our podcast.
We wouldn't have anyone come into our podcast.
Speaker 4: What do you think of us? I mean, gosh, besides,
isn't it your job to be taking care of the guests?
Speaker 3: Right? Yes? It is?
Speaker 2: And I guess actually, while we're dumping on that, I
guess it's time to address what happened after our last
guest was here.
Speaker 4: You're really not doing a very good job.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we were all valued disappoint going to.
Speaker 4: Bring it up because it wouldn't have been positive reinforcement. No,
but now it seems to be something of a pattern.
Speaker 2: Of no, no, no, no, no, they shouldn't be walking Okay, Well,
first of all, she that was the exit, so she's
allowed to go out the exit. She just went a
little early. But I guess what you're referring to is.
Uh So the last time we recorded, we had a
very special guest on. We had the great actor Larry Hastings.
He's going to be arful, so he had to stick
around to sign the typical waivers get fitted for his
gest or outfit. So everyone was sort of hanging around,
and uh, you know when we do these shows, I
have a coffee or two or five, and so I
really had to go. So, you know, just outside the
studio here, we've got a little restroom. Uh you know,
as usual post show cocoes downstairs fighting with the security guard.
Did you touch my sword? What are these smudges? Blah
blah blah blah blah. And I went right into the bathroom,
which was I have to stress again not locked.
Speaker 3: To keep saying that, and keep saying that.
Speaker 4: It sounds like something somebody would say if it Wow.
Speaker 2: Could I have gotten in if it was locked?
Speaker 3: You're almost as bad as that secure they got. Oh,
how could I have dodged your soul? It's in the
locked box?
Speaker 2: Would So anyway, I went through this open bathroom door
and there was Larry doing what the devil made him do.
Speaker 3: I guess Lally was very upset about this.
Speaker 2: Larry was, you know at first? Yeah, anger, obviously, anger,
a little embarrassment.
Speaker 4: Maybe I would be angry if somebody walked through a
door where I had.
Speaker 2: Locked to the door was open, I would not I
could not have gone in unless the door was open.
But anyway, you know, I froze, I froze. There's Larry
on his throne, as you will. And I I just said,
you know, I I saw you in Speed the Plow
a couple of years ago, and that that really that content? Wait?
Speaker 4: Wait, why why have you given him a throne?
Speaker 2: He's our It was just it was not a real throne. Yes, yes, tail.
Speaker 4: We knew two things.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know anything.
Speaker 4: Three things that you've done wrong? Yeah, I would even
so far as to say I would say badly?
Speaker 2: What? So, first of all, let's just clear it up.
When I say thrown, I mean the toilet. It's just
a nice way of saying toilet.
Speaker 3: You want my throne to be?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: Are you implying that he belongs in a toy?
Speaker 2: No? No, Larry Hastings the only throne Larry is worthy of.
Speaker 3: What do you think my clown is going to be
a plano, that my septle is going to be but
that I would say maybe like the it's not going
to be a toilet? How dare you?
Speaker 4: How dare you?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry and I would like to apologize again to
Mentor Hastings and his family because this story has really
gone viral. Although you know, actually we had to hear
about it from from the house he.
Speaker 3: Did well, yes, because a security god who was like someone.
Speaker 4: Is again because he got distracted and then he told
us again.
Speaker 2: The security guy did have to come up because he
was a witness. I had to give a statement to HR.
These are things, you know. Thank god the police did.
Larry would have had every right to call the cops.
I just walked, Yeah, I know you did. You're just
a drama queen.
Speaker 4: Sorry, King, this is not very positive.
Speaker 2: No, no, And you know what else, while we're going
down the negative road, you really got Matt Gurley riled
up today. Yeah. Really, okay, here we are. I have
gone through all the trouble of making you this podcast,
putting it together, engineering it, getting the guest editing it
can't keep the editing it for content and violence. And
our only goal is to get your ip back in
the mainstream, get a movie going, get a streaming series.
Deal going and what do I see? It's opening in
the theaters right now, but another Red Sonia movie.
Speaker 3: I cannot I told you not to bring this up.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Coco, but I'm just so angry. I'm angry
for you.
Speaker 3: I'm futil us. I cannot believe that she would do
this again.
Speaker 2: So you used to be very close, you, you know,
you in you know, back when when your ip was hot,
there was a trilogy of movies. You got two, she
got one. You just seem to be an inseparable pair.
And now here she is off on her own, rebooting
where we haven't seen, hiding her hair of Coco.
Speaker 3: I call her up and I say, can I be
in the movie? I can do a lot of good stuff.
Speaker 2: Well, you.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't talk to Well, what I mean is calling my guy.
I saw about the movie, and so I called out
into the sky. Why while I was you? Because she
didn't put me in her movie. That's right, because as
you know, and of course I also said that you
should put Sana in the movie because is great and
the meditates on the mountain with goats. It's what I
said when I chouded to the Matt backed me up here.
Speaker 2: You were shouted, I see the sky and it was
it wasn't a cry of ecstasy. It was it was
a cry of anger, pain, pain. Coco has feelings too, Yes,
of course, when I.
Speaker 4: See you're saying that he has feelings.
Speaker 3: For her, I'm to swing in the behaved Hell yeah.
Speaker 2: And we were outside, so we had his sword and
he was swinging it recklessly. It was I.
Speaker 3: Came came real close to It's almost.
Speaker 2: He did take a good chunk out of my hair
and I have to part it in kind of a
weird way. Now, yeah, almost, poor Harleton. But you know,
I again, I feel like we're really getting into it
this episode. And I'm really enjoying this because this you know,
your reaction, sona mm hmm. It feels like it's given
me the freedom to ask this question, what what exactly
he is? Your relationship with Coco.
Speaker 3: It's complicated. It's complicated, very complicated.
Speaker 4: Far too complicated for you to understand the bathroom ball
and goats.
Speaker 3: It's very complicated to all. That's why I put physicists
on our list of people.
Speaker 2: Listen, I Neil de grass Tyson will not recare my
phone calls. You know, actually as I think about it,
I actually walked in on him in the bathroom. Wants
to Yeah, I was that was what I was like
I was doing. It was a catering thing at the
Leonard Auditorium.
Speaker 4: You are asking very invasive questions to deflect from the
fact that you're doing a bad job.
Speaker 3: That's why, Yes, unlike.
Speaker 2: I mean, hold on, hold on past the job, hold
on job. So let's let's let's let's look at my
track record. Larry Hastings, he's in. He's in. He's your
new Harlton, he's your fool, your jester. You're so excited
that Larry on board number two. Christopher walking a solid
maybe a solid maybe for being both on this show
and in your in your.
Speaker 3: Group, anybody they could have gotten because of a walk.
Speaker 4: I don't know that he's walking everywhere.
Speaker 2: You go and and so you walk.
Speaker 4: Down the street, there's walking.
Speaker 2: Yes, I do feel that way sometimes, but so you know,
a solid yes maybe, And now Athena, that's our first No,
I mean I'm essentially two for three.
Speaker 3: I'm more like a one than a half for three.
And maybe, but though you're not counting all of the
other failures that you had in the paw asked, like,
when you didn't burn down the take your hot and
we had to do it for you every single time.
Speaker 4: We talked to the security guard.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's true. And when I had for my sword
and insteade, you gave me this thing with buttons on
it that I'm spoused to swing around like that. This
is why thin the left.
Speaker 4: Although she didn't say no, that's true. Maybe she just
had to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2: Maybe I should go find out. No, okay, all right,
you know she didn't say no with her mouth, but
she said it with her eyes.
Speaker 3: They should have some positive thinking matter. So on the
titlem about how to think positively about this?
Speaker 4: You have to clear your mind, be very still.
Speaker 3: We don't have any goats, so.
Speaker 4: You know, just oh, maybe you can stand on him.
Speaker 2: Okay, oh no, please please don't.
Speaker 4: And then and you just you pick sure the blood
of your enemies flowing down your face, flowing.
Speaker 3: And sinking, and you can hear the lamentations of their families.
Speaker 4: You think of this is commons, and you think of
the smell of flesh.
Speaker 3: Burning and horses going all over.
Speaker 4: The horses, horses trampling.
Speaker 3: Break heads on pie.
Speaker 2: All right, what about that? How about this? How about this?
How about this? It's a nice cool day. You're sitting
on a a pristine hill of crisp grass, and.
Speaker 3: The armies come over the hill, and then you can.
Speaker 4: Wars just as they march over the horizon.
Speaker 2: Getting in the hang of this, mad I think, you
know what, I think I am betting the hang of it.
I think I am betting the hang excellent. And I
think maybe you know, we'll just leave it. We'll leave
it there this week good, because there's no way I'm
going to be able to sleep tonight with any of
those images in my head. And honestly, frankly, ever since
I walked in on Larry Hastings in the bathroom, I
have not slept a wink.
Speaker 3: Well you should, then you should feel bad about it.
Speaker 4: You should feel good that man has so much hair
on his body. We don't need.
Speaker 2: To know that. Also, who goes completely nude.
Speaker 3: That's just it in the bathroom, that's good.
Speaker 2: He said he didn't want to wrinkle.
Speaker 4: His clothes for his it's a new costume. It only
makes sense. I can't believe you didn't think of that.
Speaker 2: I mean, he wasn't In his gesture costume. We we
only had just got his measurements.
Speaker 4: Well maybe he was preparing I don't know, he was.
Speaker 2: Preparing something, let me tell you. In fact, you got
him as a jester, but a dark wizard might actually
be more appropriate. But anyway, what we've done since then
is we we've put an automatic sensor on the door.
So if anybody's in there, there's a big red neon
sign that says no Mat, just so I know, don't
open the door.
Speaker 3: If somebody's name is no Matt, then they're going to
think that they should go in the door.
Speaker 2: You got me there, You got me there.
Speaker 3: See, these are the things you should think of.
Speaker 4: Why he's not doing job?
Speaker 2: Well, I have to ask before we wrap things up.
We started talking about we got a little sidetracked by
a great many things. Are you gonna go see? I
mean I think I know the answer. Are you gonna
go see the Red Sonia movie? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean no, no, I'm not going to see it.
I don't want to see that nonsense. Why would you?
Oh yeah, indeed, why would In fact, I'm going to
go to the movie. Did I with my sword?
Speaker 2: That's what I was afraid of?
Speaker 3: Ft down and I will cut down the screen with
my sword so that no one else can see.
Speaker 2: Let me ask you, have you ever successfully sat through
a movie, because you also mentioned in the last episode
that sometimes you like to climb the screens like your
King Kong or something.
Speaker 3: Talking about Matt, I always sit through movies. I got
a hole in the screen and then I go through it.
Speaker 5: That's how that's how you get walk through. Yeah, sliced
cono through the movie.
Speaker 2: I guess, no wonder we're going bankrupt. So many damage bills,
so many damage bills, and no one will insure you this.
This series is never going to get off the ground
if we can't get you inshored.
Speaker 3: So we're not the flying machine that with just the
podcast and then we're know that we're going on thee
oh you know again.
Speaker 2: I feel like Matt Gurley is really he's really feeling
his oats this week because you know, I don't you know,
I wasn't going to bring this up, but you just
keep digging into me. And so yes, I walked in
on Larry Hastings in the bathroom, but just a few
months ago, who was popping into every single bathroom at
the Philly Cheese Steak pro am it was you, Coco.
Speaker 3: Well, of course I had to let everybody know that
we were coming.
Speaker 4: Back to that event. I did to make sure people
knew about the podcast, to make connections and and to
spread the word. And that is exactly what Coco did.
Speaker 2: Exactly what you're complaining.
Speaker 3: Do You're complaining even though I showed the initiative in
choosing a place where everybody goes. The bathroom, everybody goes,
so that's where I go.
Speaker 4: To, wasn't locked.
Speaker 2: I just don't understand why it's okay when Coco does something,
and it's not okay when I just because I.
Speaker 3: Am a conquer and the king and I do it right, then.
Speaker 4: I has no boundaries. That's right, and that's the way
it's supposed to be.
Speaker 3: From you is the king.
Speaker 2: Well, I have to do something serious reflection. I'm gonna
you know what, I'm gonna make this promise to both
of you. Matt Gurley is going to work on Matt Gurley.
Speaker 3: Ew Coco.
Speaker 2: The Barbarian Needs a Friend was created, produced and edited
by J. Michael D'Angelis, Music and sound effects by Pete Barry.
Executive producers Pete Barry, J Michael D'Angelis, John Dalgan, and
Page Clanecki. This is a completely real celebrity interview podcast.
But if it wasn't, then Coca the Barbarian was played
by Bob Killian and Red Sona and Atheno O'Brien was
played by Ashley Banks. I'm Matt Gurley and definitely no
one else. This has been a port Room production. Copyright
twenty twenty five. Extraordinary Missions Limited.
Speaker 3: Another quality podcast from the port Room.