WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Where.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm afraid to get into this one because

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<v Speaker 2>I'm afraid what people are.

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<v Speaker 3>Going to do.

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<v Speaker 4>But what you learned this week on the Gary Change,

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<v Speaker 4>Uh oh, so this is a lot of This may

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<v Speaker 4>be a little harsh on you.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't know. Maybe it's This show is a lot

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<v Speaker 5>of things to a lot of people.

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<v Speaker 2>Sure is, And we appreciate that everybody sticks around because

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<v Speaker 2>they know that maybe sometimes they might laugh at.

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<v Speaker 3>Us or with us.

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<v Speaker 4>The umbrella of a lot of things to a lot

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<v Speaker 4>of people really hides a lot of bad things.

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<v Speaker 3>That's a lot of sense.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's like adding extra layers of paint to the

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<v Speaker 2>wall when it's already damn.

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<v Speaker 5>A rope on a clergyman.

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<v Speaker 3>What Good morning, Gary and Shannon.

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<v Speaker 6>What I've learned this week is that Gary doesn't take

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<v Speaker 6>care of his dog and he's getting divorced.

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<v Speaker 1>What I learned is that Gary, like me, apparently checks

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<v Speaker 1>the baseball schedule every day, because when I looked at it,

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<v Speaker 1>I realized, hey, everybody's playing. I guess you could call

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<v Speaker 1>them a neighbor, not necessarily a rival, but about as

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<v Speaker 1>close to the neighbor as you can get. So we'll

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<v Speaker 1>see how this works.

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<v Speaker 3>From baseball.

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<v Speaker 1>Secondly, as much as the dirty Gary and Shannon podcast sounds,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm probably gonna when the show's that I'm stick with porn.

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<v Speaker 3>M we can't.

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<v Speaker 5>He's gonna stick with porn.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we can't.

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<v Speaker 5>I can't. You know, we cannot.

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<v Speaker 7>We Well, I learned that Gary doesn't like Cherry Garcia.

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<v Speaker 5>I think I liked it once upon a time, but

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<v Speaker 5>you know.

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<v Speaker 3>Hoggin Dalls, Hoggendalls, vanilla bean only way to go.

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<v Speaker 8>And on top of that, I learned that Shannon God

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<v Speaker 8>listens to Shannon's prayers because we got sunshine down here

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<v Speaker 8>in the Long Beach up to Torrents area.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, thank.

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<v Speaker 3>You, beg Yeah, thank you. Have a great week at

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<v Speaker 3>Gary and Shannon. Am I sure listening to you right now?

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<v Speaker 3>His name is long time listener in Orange County.

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<v Speaker 2>This week I learned that.

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<v Speaker 3>Shannon really wasn't talking about Gennibal's a lot this week?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Is a Gary Gary lay offer man?

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<v Speaker 3>Honestly, I defend you too much, Hi, guys.

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<v Speaker 7>This week I learned on the Gary and Shannon show

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<v Speaker 7>that while I live in Hemmett and you can't spell

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<v Speaker 7>himant without spelling math, I have tigers and you can't

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<v Speaker 7>bring your bags to a grocery store. Oh yeah, have

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<v Speaker 7>a great weekend.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 4>I've never heard that you can't spell him without math

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<v Speaker 4>and I love it.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, Gary, Hay, Shannon Michael from Narco, Mike, what did

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<v Speaker 1>I learn this week?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Well, this is what I learned this week. Gary

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<v Speaker 3>lit the dog out, Gary lit the dog out.

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<v Speaker 1>You're in trouble.

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<v Speaker 5>You're in trouble, little shot and Freud. Everyone's loving it.

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<v Speaker 3>Dog is fine, aug is fine.

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<v Speaker 6>What I learned this week on the Gary and Shannon Show,

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<v Speaker 6>Shannon h raisins, that's on American.

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<v Speaker 5>Sorry, I just do I don't.

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<v Speaker 8>This week on Gary and Shannon Show, I learned Vatican

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<v Speaker 8>City has their own secret tennis courts. I guess they're

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<v Speaker 8>secluded from the public.

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<v Speaker 1>Back in the.

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<v Speaker 8>Seventies, I guess the cardinals used to get together and

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<v Speaker 8>have their own little friendly tennis tournaments. Although I think

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<v Speaker 8>we're just assuming they were friendly. Who knows, they could

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<v Speaker 8>have been talking a lot of crap.

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<v Speaker 5>I think that's why they starting.

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<v Speaker 8>Y'all have a good weekend, See.

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<v Speaker 3>You two, right, all right, one more Hello.

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<v Speaker 6>This week I learned that Gary was engaged twice, once

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<v Speaker 6>to his current wife, and the other was too quote

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<v Speaker 6>a cheating whore.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't now. That was not nice. That was not nice.

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<v Speaker 3>That all right?

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<v Speaker 2>For those of you who really love producer Keana is,

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<v Speaker 2>she's going to be either elevated in your eyes or

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<v Speaker 2>brought down.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, if you were like.

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<v Speaker 4>That guy and missed genital talk this week, buckle.

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<v Speaker 3>Up, Buckle up, buttercup, it's about to get real.

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<v Speaker 5>You were gonna say something like genitally or something.

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<v Speaker 3>Here's our honorable mention, honorable mention, not supposed to mention.

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<v Speaker 3>You spend an honor serving with you a.

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<v Speaker 6>Great and honorable movies.

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<v Speaker 7>So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member

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<v Speaker 7>of honorable Mentions.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, this is a verse.

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<v Speaker 2>A couple couple of people found dead at one of

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<v Speaker 2>these homeless encampments in La.

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<v Speaker 5>Here's a twist.

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<v Speaker 4>One of the people was found partially eaten by dogs.

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<v Speaker 5>My god.

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<v Speaker 4>A woman's body found inside a sidewalk ten had been

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<v Speaker 4>reportedly locked from the inside. Family members were unable to

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<v Speaker 4>reach the victim. They tear it open and they find

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<v Speaker 4>her body and then a man's body as well. She's

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<v Speaker 4>just forty six years old. Oh god, that is awful, awful,

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<v Speaker 4>Why you wouldn't want to clean that up up? But

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<v Speaker 4>you know what, We're letting people live the way that

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<v Speaker 4>they want to live. We're respecting their feelings, right, shoot.

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<v Speaker 3>On by dogs.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think anybody wants that number nine, number nine?

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<v Speaker 3>I did nine place if the cops dirty nine times?

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<v Speaker 7>Out of tennis partners dirty two and.

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<v Speaker 3>I speak nine languages yet nine basically.

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<v Speaker 8>Everybody at table nning.

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<v Speaker 9>I'deel ready to go another nine?

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<v Speaker 1>And niner?

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<v Speaker 2>Did I catch a niner in there where you're calling

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<v Speaker 2>from Milwaukie talkie? The Cannapolist Cannonballers minor league baseball team

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<v Speaker 2>has a little event where they have dogs that show up.

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<v Speaker 2>Their beloved bat dog, Casey Betty, comes and grabs the

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<v Speaker 2>bat after the after an at bat.

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<v Speaker 4>Now are these dogs that are sanctioned to be at

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<v Speaker 4>the game? Are these dogs that got out of a

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<v Speaker 4>home nearby and.

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<v Speaker 2>Ouch officially members of the Kannapolis cannon Ballers team. They

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<v Speaker 2>said that Casey Betty had a bathroom emergency. Oh, which

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<v Speaker 2>is funny because there was no bathroom in sight. There's

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<v Speaker 2>just a few feet away from home plate. So moments

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<v Speaker 2>before preparing to fetch a bat. She let it loose.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, instead of using gloves or a you know, a

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<v Speaker 4>doggy poop bag, scooped it right up with his bare hand.

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<v Speaker 3>Get it.

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Isn't this something that you learned as a parent Sometimes

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<v Speaker 4>you got to scoop up poop or vomit or whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>Soap and water does amazing things. Yeah, and you can.

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<v Speaker 2>It will get you past a lot of nasty stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Just make the problem go away. Just handle it. Handle it.

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<v Speaker 3>Guy gets a raise.

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<v Speaker 5>It's almost like if you never find.

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<v Speaker 3>Truly go number eight.

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<v Speaker 1>A tive is bowled every eight second, listening to eight

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<v Speaker 1>different bosses drawn on about mission statements.

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<v Speaker 5>Jello shots never really did anything for me.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I don't know. This isn't that troubling. It's

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<v Speaker 4>not like the kid was handing out fireball shots. I

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<v Speaker 4>mean it was a kindergartener, So that's a problem.

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<v Speaker 5>I guess.

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<v Speaker 4>An investigation underway after a Pennsylvania school district said a

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<v Speaker 4>kindergartener was giving jello shots to classmates three other students.

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<v Speaker 4>They say immediate action was taken. The students were called

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<v Speaker 4>to the nurse's office, ems was called, parents were notified

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<v Speaker 4>met first responders at the hospital. Come on, like, these

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<v Speaker 4>parents haven't given their kids, Benadrill.

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<v Speaker 2>Unclear how the kid got the alcoholic jello.

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<v Speaker 4>Cups and mom and dad probably had them in the refrigerator.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and what is that mean?

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<v Speaker 5>Even unclear?

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<v Speaker 3>Come on, do we even know if the kid knew

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<v Speaker 3>that they were Jello's.

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<v Speaker 4>Beautiful, beautiful jewel toned the rain, the red?

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<v Speaker 5>What's your favorite jello flavor? I like strawberry.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know red, Yes, strawberry, I would say red.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, strawberry. I like it to taste like red. Okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Number seven Starting to sort out here, You've got other things.

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<v Speaker 9>On your mica, like calimony.

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<v Speaker 5>So here's a fun twist.

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<v Speaker 4>Remember how we're talking about that Gary and Shannon show

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<v Speaker 4>dating game.

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<v Speaker 5>We've got a contested y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>No, a man was caught attempting to smuggle parrots into California. Specifically,

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<v Speaker 2>when officers noticed unusual clothing bulges.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it was around his ankles. They discovered six birds

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<v Speaker 4>stuffed into his boots.

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<v Speaker 5>To which I say, us, why.

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<v Speaker 4>Are we having a problem with a man smuggling some

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<v Speaker 4>birds in his boots?

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<v Speaker 5>We usually have stories.

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<v Speaker 4>About customs finding somebody who smuggled bricks of meth in

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<v Speaker 4>their underwear or in their anal cavities. This is a

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<v Speaker 4>feel good smuggle story. I don't know why we're not

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<v Speaker 4>embracing this man.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not sure what you feel good about here.

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<v Speaker 4>Uh parrots and they're not in his pants, they're in

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<v Speaker 4>his boots.

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<v Speaker 2>Six undeclared birds in his boots. Sorry, six parrots in

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<v Speaker 2>the car, and the undeclared birds that were hidden in

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<v Speaker 2>his boots, including two that were dead. Back on the

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<v Speaker 2>fourth of May, a twenty six year old man applying

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<v Speaker 2>for admission to the US at sany Sidro was caught

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<v Speaker 2>smuggling sixteen live parakeets and three live chickens.

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<v Speaker 5>Three live chickens.

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<v Speaker 4>That sounds like a ritual, right, Like they're gonna kill

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<v Speaker 4>the the chickens and use their blood smeared on their

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<v Speaker 4>faces or something.

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<v Speaker 5>Who smuggles a live chicken.

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<v Speaker 3>Ritual? People?

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<v Speaker 4>Right?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Like in bull Durham they needed a lie exactly number six.

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<v Speaker 3>I got six, You got six six, number six.

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<v Speaker 2>There's six more weeks of water, a picture of me

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<v Speaker 2>or Rabbi, and six drunken longshomyn.

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<v Speaker 3>We just dig you in a nursing home. Closer to us,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't have to go take.

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<v Speaker 4>That drink another Guys, leave your penises alone.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when it comes.

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<v Speaker 3>To I'm not talking about that.

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<v Speaker 4>Adjusting the way that God created your penis. He created

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<v Speaker 4>it beautifully. Let it live its life. It doesn't need

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<v Speaker 4>filler injections. Men apparently are flocking to the doctors or

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<v Speaker 4>the medspas to get penis filler injections.

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<v Speaker 5>Just say no to this.

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<v Speaker 4>If she doesn't like your penis, go find someone who does.

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<v Speaker 3>I have no response to that.

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<v Speaker 4>I think it was pretty solid advice. Yes, no need

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<v Speaker 4>to put a needle in there. Ah, yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 3>Here's number five for five.

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<v Speaker 5>I have five rules.

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<v Speaker 3>We begin bombing five little monkeys.

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<v Speaker 9>This is the year five point five.

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<v Speaker 3>Five would be a favorite. Loose five pounds immediately.

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<v Speaker 2>My house I grew up in, we had an old

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<v Speaker 2>We had not a wooden shed, a metal shed out

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<v Speaker 2>in the backyard, which is where we would keep lawn equipment, lawnmower,

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<v Speaker 2>a couple of bikes, you know, stuff like that. And

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<v Speaker 2>I'm always amazed that the big warehouse stores, like the

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<v Speaker 2>home Depots and the lows, they have these on display.

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<v Speaker 2>But they're always locked, at least the ones I've seen there.

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<v Speaker 2>They're locked so that people can't get into them because

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<v Speaker 2>they don't want people living in there.

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<v Speaker 4>I always saw like a shed or like a playhouse,

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<v Speaker 4>like a friend had a little playhouse in the backyard,

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<v Speaker 4>you know, just one of those plastic ones that you

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<v Speaker 4>could barely turn around and let alone live in. But

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<v Speaker 4>I always thought it would be so cool. I couldn't

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<v Speaker 4>wait to like live in a shed because I'd be

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<v Speaker 4>by myself.

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<v Speaker 5>It's like your own little house.

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<v Speaker 2>Smell a little bit like gasoline. Yeah in is it

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<v Speaker 2>slide deel or slidel?

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<v Speaker 3>You'll be yeah told, yeah, somebody will tell me.

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<v Speaker 2>Police there in Louisiana responded to a call at a

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<v Speaker 2>parking lot at a lows of Sunday night because they

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<v Speaker 2>found a guy inside a display shed. Witness reported the

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<v Speaker 2>guy inside typically used to show customers the various storage

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<v Speaker 2>options of course out there, and different building materials and

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<v Speaker 2>things like that. When officers showed up, they started looking

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<v Speaker 2>down the line of sheds on display, and it wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>until the fourth or fifth that they found the suspect

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<v Speaker 2>lying on his back pants around his ankles, open container

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<v Speaker 2>of vasoline and electronic device.

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<v Speaker 4>Are you going to say the rest of the part?

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<v Speaker 4>Where do you get the vasaline? It seems odd.

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<v Speaker 3>There's number four, m number four minds.

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<v Speaker 6>Probably on his fourth tranquilizer by.

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<v Speaker 5>Now number four.

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<v Speaker 6>This isn't the same world you left four years Oh.

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<v Speaker 4>This is unfortunate. Do we know where Keana's husband is? Like,

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<v Speaker 4>do we have a like find my iPhone probably tracker

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<v Speaker 4>thing to make sure he's safe. Well, it's just a

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<v Speaker 4>lot of penis violence. There was the vasaline, and now

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<v Speaker 4>we've got a Brazilian woman accused of hacking off her

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<v Speaker 4>husband's penis and cooking it in a bean's stew.

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<v Speaker 2>It's important that it was a bean stit that sounds

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<v Speaker 2>awful into that. Uh, they added part of She added

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<v Speaker 2>part of her husband's anatomy to the meal and ate

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<v Speaker 2>it after his life in a revenge attack.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, she caught him watching porn. So that's why you

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<v Speaker 4>go into the shed, guys. That is that guy. And

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<v Speaker 4>the last story was onto something. You go in the

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<v Speaker 4>shed and she's not going to catch you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not clear yet if she was the only person

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<v Speaker 2>who tried the stew she cooked, or if others eat it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, here's number three. Wait wait, no, wait, nope, no more.

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<v Speaker 4>This comes just months after another woman in Brazil was

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<v Speaker 4>arrested after confessing and removing a man's confessing to removing

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<v Speaker 4>and eating a man's heart and genitals. Apparently this is

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<v Speaker 4>a thing in Brazil.

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<v Speaker 3>There's something in the water down there. Three shall be

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<v Speaker 3>the number that count and the number of the counting

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<v Speaker 3>shall be Three were dead within three hours, three security

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<v Speaker 3>clearance level three. All three of three. I got all

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<v Speaker 3>three of you guys for the rest of your naturally

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<v Speaker 3>born live. After about three days, they both start to stink.

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<v Speaker 1>Three.

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<v Speaker 5>Did you see how detailed that story got?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 5>Whoa, it's gonna be out of the Daily Mail.

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<v Speaker 3>There is a story out of the UK.

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<v Speaker 2>A mom has been criticized online for ordering a cake

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<v Speaker 2>for her son's birthday. She wanted to help him stop breastfeeding. Okay, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I could think of other ways to do it, but

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<v Speaker 2>apparently she bought a double boob cake for this kid.

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<v Speaker 3>That's funny in order to do that. Who cares?

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<v Speaker 2>What would a three year old look at that and say, oh, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I know what that means. I should probably stop breastfeeding

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<v Speaker 2>off me?

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<v Speaker 3>Mom?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I don't know, but you know, people are weird.

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<v Speaker 4>They're going to do stuff stuff. Why are we chastising?

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<v Speaker 4>Why are we writing full news stories about this mom's

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<v Speaker 4>sense of humor making a boob cap for a kid

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<v Speaker 4>that's trying to wean off the boob.

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<v Speaker 3>Here's number two. What's going on you two? There's two

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<v Speaker 3>sons and no women.

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<v Speaker 4>When you were a young boy and you were growing up,

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<v Speaker 4>what did you want to be when.

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<v Speaker 5>You grew up?

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<v Speaker 3>A veterinarian?

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, veterinarian.

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<v Speaker 3>When I could you?

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<v Speaker 2>When I used to be able to take care of animals.

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<v Speaker 4>I saw the opportunity and I sat here didn't take it.

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<v Speaker 5>But anyway, poop fairy, that was not on the list

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<v Speaker 5>for you.

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<v Speaker 4>Because Vancouver is hiring people known as poop fairies.

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<v Speaker 5>What is their job? Well, it sounds like it is.

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<v Speaker 4>They have a human waste problem so bad that they're

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<v Speaker 4>hiring poop fairies to clean up the city sidewalks. Human

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<v Speaker 4>and dog waste has become a real problem in Vancouver.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm assuming this is Vancouver, Washington.

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<v Speaker 3>No, no, Vancouver, Canada. That's a good question. I'm not sure.

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<v Speaker 4>We should know if this is an American problem or

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<v Speaker 4>a Canadian problem.

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<v Speaker 3>That would be Canadian.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, because they got the Canadians. They poop on the streets.

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<v Speaker 3>Up there do they hastings crossings?

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<v Speaker 4>And my goodness? Is it the Is it the milk

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<v Speaker 4>in a bag? Is that what causes the issues?

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<v Speaker 3>Here's number one? Weird number one, number one, We're number one.

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<v Speaker 9>Then I decided to look out for number one.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you the number one?

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<v Speaker 5>Row?

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00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:28.000
<v Speaker 1>Number one?

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<v Speaker 9>Number one? Number one?

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<v Speaker 5>All right, to look into your crystal ball? What do you.

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<v Speaker 2>See the penis of the future?

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, you just wanted to jump right the chase? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 5>I go for it.

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<v Speaker 3>Like they say that.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, all of our bodies are growing more than they

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<v Speaker 5>used to.

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00:17:50.279 --> 00:17:53.519
<v Speaker 2>But it says that that specific body part of our

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<v Speaker 2>body has grown at an alarming rate in just thirty years,

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<v Speaker 2>that the average size has jumped twenty five percent from

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<v Speaker 2>nineteen ninety two to two thousand late one. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 2>that by the year twenty one hundred, you could see

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00:18:08.799 --> 00:18:10.039
<v Speaker 2>it go past about eight.

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<v Speaker 3>And a half inches. It seems like a lot.

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<v Speaker 5>Good night, everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>What movie was this, by the way, I take the

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<v Speaker 2>curse off door. No, it is Bull Durham, the movie Boulder.

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<v Speaker 3>It wasn't Bull Durham. It was major League dork.

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<v Speaker 4>No, it was no, that was Bull Durham. But Joe

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<v Speaker 4>Boo that was that. The the the black magic that

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00:18:32.440 --> 00:18:36.799
<v Speaker 4>went along with major League that was also it was baseball.

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<v Speaker 4>There's a lot of voodoo that goes on in all

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<v Speaker 4>the superstition. Yeah, everyone's right, everyone's right. Everyone's right, it's right,

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<v Speaker 4>everyone's frying dork.

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<v Speaker 5>You should you should use that at home.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, we're both right. Everybody's right. No, that's not going

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<v Speaker 2>to fly. Great job, Keana, Yeah, very proud, very ashamed.

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<v Speaker 5>Can we should I say a prayer to God for you?

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<v Speaker 5>That's probably Sunshine never hurts