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Speaker 3: Today.
Speaker 2: We have two great tasks before us, to build a
peaceful world and press forward on the home front of
high production and prosperity. Let's not allow racial or religious
prejudice to hamper our post war efforts. Rowan Williamson invites
you to other good listening during the week. Listen to
People Are Funny with art linkletter next Friday night, and
join us again with Gret.
Speaker 4: Scalvin next Tuesday.
Speaker 2: Rad Scalvin has heard in his programs with the courtesy
of Metro Golden Mail.
Speaker 3: Red Skelton has brought.
Speaker 5: To you by the makers with Rowley Cigarettes.
Speaker 3: This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.
Speaker 2: From Hollywood, The Raleigh Cigarette Program starring Red Skelton with
David Forrester and his orchestra singing star Anita Allis, G. G. Pearson,
Vernon Falton, Pat McGee and Wonderful Smith and yours truly,
Rod O'Connors. It's Moisture Eyes, the new all new Rolling
nine oh three cigarette.
Speaker 3: Listen.
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It's a pleasure to bring a metricolar mares popular committee
in the star our Raleigh Cigarette Program, Red Scout, Thank
you and good.
Speaker 6: Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 7: Well here we.
Speaker 3: Are again, Yeah, right here we are.
Speaker 8: We ought to be ashamed of ourselves, you know, really
and truly when you're taking consideration from what we say
and what they pay it, this is really remarkable.
Speaker 6: Well back to the funny stuff. Let's change the subject.
Speaker 3: Must change the subject.
Speaker 6: Better still, let's change writers. We may say.
Speaker 4: Something will hurt the dignity of NBC.
Speaker 9: Did you hear what they did to Fred Allen Sunday?
Speaker 10: Well, sir, we have joined the freight of stars.
Speaker 6: I see.
Speaker 3: Say you got a nice sunburn on your face red.
Speaker 11: Oh I'm blushing because they just got me off. I
spend the day down at the California convey.
Speaker 3: In your club? Does the club have a nice beat?
Speaker 6: Oh, but they got a nice sunlamb down there?
Speaker 3: Mean to tell me that, in this nice warm weather
you get.
Speaker 2: Your tan inside here comes from?
Speaker 11: No, don't get a tan inside. Couldn't swallow the sudden lamb?
Speaker 12: Well?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 3: Who else goes down to that Combina club? Rad, Well,
there's a.
Speaker 6: Lot of us.
Speaker 11: There's Fred Allen, if you'll pardon express, Johnny weiss Miller,
for one, And he taught me to swim without using
my legs or arms.
Speaker 3: Just my head. Well that's impossible. How on earth can
you swim with jeff.
Speaker 11: Your head, just keep it above water and yell help.
Speaker 2: You know, Weissman is supposed to be one of the
fastest swimmers.
Speaker 7: In the world.
Speaker 11: I raised him the length of the pool, you know,
and yeah, nearly beat him.
Speaker 3: Oh go on, how much of a head start did
he give you?
Speaker 10: I gave him a head start.
Speaker 6: Let him take five stroke before I ever started. I
had a one tub. I had a trip over that
chair and fell in the pool.
Speaker 3: Oh that swimmer he must be.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you should have seen the jackknife.
Speaker 10: I didn't to the kiddies pool.
Speaker 3: It's impossible. A kiddiess pool is only a foot deep.
Speaker 6: It was a jackknife, though, it must have been.
Speaker 8: Took them a half hour to unfool me when I.
Speaker 2: Say you, if you notice the new bathing suits, barely.
Speaker 11: See you know the suits get smaller and smaller every year.
Today when a girl goes to the beach, she packs
her suit neatly into a dixie cup.
Speaker 6: Look, kitty.
Speaker 11: One girl came out on the beach and she went
back into the locker five times to make sure she
had the suit on.
Speaker 6: But you know, this sunshine out.
Speaker 3: Here's really good. You know, boy, I.
Speaker 2: Wish I could bottle this glorious sunshine and ship at
East my here.
Speaker 3: It's pretty cold back there.
Speaker 8: You got a couple of sensors I like to send back.
I tried bottling California's chine one.
Speaker 3: You did what happened?
Speaker 6: This smart kept coming to the top.
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Speaker 6: Anita Ellis sings, It's love and time.
Speaker 13: It's's loving times. I've turned the line slow. There's heavenly music.
Speaker 6: Called ra.
Speaker 7: Bill, my darling brother. It's safely in bed.
Speaker 13: My mother and dad are at the more.
Speaker 14: They were young ros.
Speaker 15: It's also under fall, yet I'm solove.
Speaker 7: It loving time.
Speaker 13: They let they before.
Speaker 15: It's also wonderful, yet so lonely, and it's loving time.
Speaker 4: Th the Skelton scrap Book of Saptire, you.
Speaker 14: Can imagine what the housing problem must be for that guy.
Speaker 16: Huh.
Speaker 10: Page one is entitled the Friendly Farmers.
Speaker 7: Well here I am.
Speaker 17: I just thinking to him denied. I feel kind of lonely.
You know, I wish I hadn't already done my crossword puzzle.
I worked them things just like.
Speaker 10: A whizz cracker. I do boy mass like that. Only
takes me a second to fill in them little blocks
with my crams. You know, Oot, Sarah DU's home.
Speaker 17: I want somebody to talk to, talk to myself, but
I hate those stupid answers I do. Well, look at
the little puppy though, he looks half starving, half airedale.
Speaker 6: What are you looking so sad about? You look like
you lost your brother. You don't have to look.
Speaker 10: At me like I found them.
Speaker 17: Ain't that cute? Look the way he's chewing on my shoe? There,
I'm the think of it. I ain't wearing any get
away were you there? Oh there's Sarah Due's house. Look
at that car parked in the driveway. Boy, ain't that something?
I wonder what kind it is? Town and Country say,
ain't that pretty? Why don't they take it out of
the crate? Well, I think I'll tiptoe over and see
who the visitor is. I think that blacksmith to give
me a bum deal on them shoes?
Speaker 7: Clam?
Speaker 6: Will howdy? Duty to you? Sarah?
Speaker 10: Do here all bruing you a pleasant dream?
Speaker 6: Girl?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 10: Clam?
Speaker 7: I surprised.
Speaker 6: No, I know what it is.
Speaker 10: It's perfume. It's perfuming.
Speaker 6: Clam. Yeah.
Speaker 17: I ran off a batch while I was overseege with
a chemical warfare units.
Speaker 5: Crimon smoke coming out of that bottle?
Speaker 6: Yeah, and look at the flies dropping?
Speaker 4: Are you sure you know how to make perfume?
Speaker 6: Clam?
Speaker 17: Well, certainly that used to be my old trick and trade,
you know, you take a little pear and add some
fume to its.
Speaker 4: What kind of a dog is that claim?
Speaker 10: I think he's a thoroughbred mongrel. He looks like a
cocker spaniel.
Speaker 6: Well so do I. But I ain't.
Speaker 10: Clam.
Speaker 6: You're a laurn and that ain't bad for.
Speaker 17: A guy who was born an idiot coming up in
the world.
Speaker 10: You just keep your eye on me, boy, Clama.
Speaker 5: Can't stand here forever.
Speaker 6: Now leave the dog outside and come on in because
we got.
Speaker 10: Com company email company.
Speaker 6: I hope, no, Clam.
Speaker 1: It's a man who had some trouble with his car,
and Paul said we should put him up for the night.
Speaker 18: If you'll sleep here too, of course, then we wouldn't
have to be afraid of him stealing anything.
Speaker 10: What short of fella is he?
Speaker 4: Really? He said I was the most beautiful girl in
the world.
Speaker 6: Nuts, huh?
Speaker 10: Come on in, Oh cram for goodness sake straight in
your time.
Speaker 6: Well, if I do, I'll wrinkle my sweatshirt.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 10: Come on inside and meet the stranger. Do you know
how jealous I am when there's other men around? How
the duties?
Speaker 3: Hello?
Speaker 6: You trying to start a flight or something?
Speaker 10: Claim this. This is mister McGee. What do you do
for a living.
Speaker 1: I'm a traveling sales that's a good idea, start traveling.
Speaker 2: None of that.
Speaker 1: You're not very pleasant. What do you do, doc, doc? Well,
I drove a taxi cab.
Speaker 7: One.
Speaker 5: Do you have to have any trouble with any of
your passengers?
Speaker 6: Quite a bit? Quite a bit.
Speaker 17: Some of them don't want to go where I want
to take them.
Speaker 5: You're supposed to go with a passengers tell you to.
Speaker 17: That's one place I'm staying away from.
Speaker 5: How long how long have you been driving a cab?
Speaker 6: Well, let's see, this is my third, No, my fourth cab.
Speaker 10: I've been driving two weeks.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 5: You know you're awful, reclass.
Speaker 6: I am not.
Speaker 10: I couldn't help those accidents.
Speaker 17: Well, I thought I was following the line down the
middle of the road, and it turned out to be
a crack in the windshield.
Speaker 6: Well where are you from?
Speaker 3: Hollywood?
Speaker 6: Hollywood?
Speaker 3: Where's that near Los Angeles?
Speaker 6: Los Angels?
Speaker 10: Well what Barn Country? Dad?
Speaker 5: Few miles from Vandale.
Speaker 6: Well why didn't you say so in the first time.
Speaker 3: Well, it's late.
Speaker 5: I guess I'll retire.
Speaker 10: I'd like to retire too, only I ain't rich enough.
Speaker 3: It's too fast for me.
Speaker 4: He didn't get it. Now, Well, I hope you'll be comfortable.
Speaker 6: There's a nice new mattress on.
Speaker 4: The bed mat you.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what you put on top of the springs.
Speaker 6: Will lame seats. How long has this been going on?
Speaker 5: Only an nediot would sleep without a mattress.
Speaker 6: Well, I haven't been doing anything long.
Speaker 5: Brother, Say where do you sleep?
Speaker 7: Flynn?
Speaker 6: Well, where's the crowd? Did you have to sleep together?
Speaker 4: I'll see you in the morning.
Speaker 7: Boys, Good night, clam.
Speaker 17: Share Do I find it hard to tearing my shelf
awaiting you? O? Why clam you're standing on the foot?
Speaker 6: Good night?
Speaker 7: Good?
Speaker 5: That's nice?
Speaker 6: Yes, well we better get ready for bade. I'm so tired.
Speaker 17: I don't think i'll even bother to put my ears
up in curlers tonight.
Speaker 10: You take the clothes, Goes, I'll hang my clothes on
the hook here.
Speaker 5: Do you always hang your clothes up that way?
Speaker 10: Well? Sure, don't you?
Speaker 5: Yes, but I get out of them before I hang
them up.
Speaker 6: These fours go in for details, don't you. Huh?
Speaker 1: You know it's a bit chilli. I think you'll have
a nightcap. Careful A little swallow, and we'll pick you up,
pick me up.
Speaker 17: Well, here's mutting your eye?
Speaker 6: Well, how long do la here before it picks me up?
Speaker 10: Kicks like a mule loaded?
Speaker 18: Huh yeah, no thanks lober girl.
Speaker 1: I'm not hungry. I'm getting sleepy. Good night, pleasant dreams and.
Speaker 10: Jane russells to you too, say Cummins. But it couldn't
get a clearance.
Speaker 5: Good night. Yeah, I hope I can get some rest.
Are you asleep already? Hey, you're snort, you're snoring.
Speaker 6: I didn't hear nothing.
Speaker 1: Oh goodness, we're gonna have to put up with that
online clam. Is there any way of stopping that cat
out there on the fence.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'll stop him.
Speaker 17: Here's a shoe, I'll throw it at him.
Speaker 4: What happened, clam?
Speaker 10: Oh, I forget to take my shoe off? Color cool?
Speaker 6: Listen.
Speaker 2: That jet of fresh pure moisture stands for the new freshness,
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Speaker 11: And now neighbors seek Forrester and his eye away seras
are going to play a Roy Rogers favor right, entitle
the chicken reel.
Speaker 6: I hope Bob burns.
Speaker 7: Mm hmm.
Speaker 11: Wa to enhance the circle south the little moon shine
in your mouth, loosening your whole grand failed back lady
in the me your wanton stepped on the hands.
Speaker 10: You know he missed his feed corn bread wave though
he was thatt your toad.
Speaker 6: You have your pardon, wold fo I hope think that.
Speaker 4: Miss listen.
Speaker 14: Mmm call Henry Morgan show.
Speaker 10: Has three hung from the circus. I didn't have one today.
Speaker 6: Boy.
Speaker 9: I know, mister Fowler, it was nice of you to
take us to the circus and bring us.
Speaker 10: Home in a nice cab like you.
Speaker 16: And that was mighty.
Speaker 6: Neighbor to you. That what?
Speaker 12: And thanks for all your peanuts and that pink laminade? Hey,
how do you make pink lemonade with bloodshot lemons?
Speaker 5: Your supping?
Speaker 6: Hun?
Speaker 3: What was a pleasure? I only hope you had fun?
Speaker 6: Oh we dig boy? We did that? Say what did
gen joy? Most of the seconds?
Speaker 3: Little boy?
Speaker 10: Well, I like fest of all?
Speaker 6: Got big rubber cow with the two tails you your
Oh them was elephants. One was his trunk.
Speaker 10: Trump, Well he should open it up and put on
a clean cut.
Speaker 16: He was the dirtiest thing.
Speaker 6: I ever could.
Speaker 16: It was really a mask that didn't work.
Speaker 7: Well, here we up.
Speaker 6: You don't I don't miss the bank.
Speaker 16: And the seventy five sanskras you when you pay him?
Speaker 3: Well here you are, and the tip my good man,
Well thank you sir saying that nickle shaw, don't take
the sunlight.
Speaker 6: Look at that buffalo blench his eyes.
Speaker 12: Well, don't stand there say thanks you just forty you
know junor.
Speaker 16: Wonderful day dhing.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry our seats weren't so good.
Speaker 16: Yeah, I got old bald headed man in front of me.
He kept saying.
Speaker 10: Pipe down, because that time I applaud.
Speaker 6: He said pipe down.
Speaker 3: Well you well, what did you do?
Speaker 16: I said, oh, shut.
Speaker 12: Up boy, and he said he got mad and he said,
looks stay comb.
Speaker 16: He was referring to me. We ara course, he says,
looks stay comb.
Speaker 5: I you know one thing.
Speaker 12: I may be bald headed, but I tell you this
that the grass don't grow in a busy street. And
I says to him, well, and they don't come up
through cement either.
Speaker 10: How can you be so insulting?
Speaker 6: I took lessons from James Mason.
Speaker 7: Let's do in the house.
Speaker 6: Do you get? I gotta tell you about it? Tell
you matter, Frank.
Speaker 16: We went out to the sting.
Speaker 10: Oh we see everything.
Speaker 16: We show the iron it's a horse, and we show
the hip.
Speaker 6: On top of the omni bus.
Speaker 12: And you had a great big dog out there, had
the booshy head and the.
Speaker 6: Hair was shaved all off your bellie, and you had
the paint bush on the indy heat tail.
Speaker 7: Liant.
Speaker 6: No I seen him.
Speaker 12: He was a fake way big boosy had a dog
and you had the hair taker and.
Speaker 10: The paint bush on in the heatail, Lion.
Speaker 16: I not a iron.
Speaker 10: We went there in a tange and oh you had
big treeth and.
Speaker 12: The bush you had, the hairt got the paint brush.
Speaker 6: I know, Lion, you asked for.
Speaker 4: Junior.
Speaker 6: What did you do right? Brilliant Junior, I'm mad at you.
You're mad.
Speaker 18: I should be mad.
Speaker 12: Look you got two of me teeth sticking in your hand.
Speaker 16: He called me a. No, you're going to get.
Speaker 7: You broke me.
Speaker 10: You broke me with you broke your little walk or No.
Speaker 7: Then your me for telling you.
Speaker 16: Now I'm gonna fit you. I'm gonna I'm.
Speaker 12: Gonna tell everybody that you so sold peanut at the
Harper's Ferry.
Speaker 16: Now, Junior, you know that's not true.
Speaker 12: Oh no, hey, Judy, give me a bag of those
Confederate goobers.
Speaker 6: Nothing doing.
Speaker 10: You're wearing a Union suitent.
Speaker 1: But I guess it was really my fault, really for
not explaining when I said lying.
Speaker 5: See, I only meant that that.
Speaker 4: Was the name of the animal.
Speaker 6: How you you know I was at the circus, I
didn't see you. What tage was you in? Junior?
Speaker 16: Why don't you live a model life?
Speaker 12: Because there's too many people living a modern life now
just posing nothing else.
Speaker 6: You're posting, Well.
Speaker 16: I can promise you one thing. You'll never go to
the circus again.
Speaker 12: Oh yeah, die, well boy, some day I will run away.
I'm gonna work with this circus. Some day I'm gonna
be an animal trainer. I will walk in the cage
and I'll take a great big feet rocush.
Speaker 16: Line and if he roach this line, and.
Speaker 6: I will stick my head right in his mouth.
Speaker 16: Oh dear, no, he might fight your skull and break
all his teeth.
Speaker 12: Yes, no, he won't, cause he will be fraid of
me because I will be the master and I will
walk up to him, and then he.
Speaker 16: Will leap on me and he will chew me the bitch,
and he will grab me by the back and there
and take me up.
Speaker 12: I was a widow rag doll, and he but a
cage of shovey.
Speaker 16: Why I was just on the verger staring me.
Speaker 4: You.
Speaker 16: You want to come in the house and stay outdoors
and play. No, I'm gonna stay out here and play.
Speaker 5: Oh she going?
Speaker 16: I all alone? I wish I was a lion tamer.
I know what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 12: I'm gonna sneak over to mister Thorpe Bourne and I'm
gonna steal those you know, box of kittens he got
over there and play lion table with the kittens.
Speaker 18: That's what I I gonna know that your kitdn't Oh
there they Oh there's that big cat.
Speaker 6: Now, big cat, you go your way.
Speaker 16: Now, I'm not gonna hurt you with a baby.
Speaker 12: Now you get out of the box.
Speaker 10: Come on, man out here.
Speaker 16: Now I'm gonna help you.
Speaker 6: Now, look at me arms.
Speaker 10: How you look like I was vaccinated with a rink.
I grabbed him for the by his arms and then he's.
Speaker 12: Like, yeah, boy, there do that again.
Speaker 16: Boy, I wish that widow, Dickie oranger. Some of them
droven out. Jewey kits was here.
Speaker 6: They tell me how if.
Speaker 16: I know his cat?
Speaker 6: Boy, I know what's wrong. I don't have your care
and the whip.
Speaker 16: Now there's a nice whettel chair with a party out
of the way.
Speaker 6: That's good.
Speaker 12: I can see what's going on, you know, now, full whip.
I had to whip to be a linking. I'd use
his hair bush. I've been hiding from the glamor.
Speaker 16: Now cat you has.
Speaker 6: Met you equal you has come.
Speaker 12: On shut up, shut up.
Speaker 6: Wish I could crack this hair bush, you know, shut up? Cat?
Come on not but all right, I'll set up away.
Speaker 10: But give me back my care.
Speaker 12: Oh flush warnings, ask your jo Would you like a
glass of milk and some cookies?
Speaker 6: Milk?
Speaker 12: I can leave that old mamma cat away with your milk. Yeah,
I would like someone's milk.
Speaker 16: What was that noise I heard?
Speaker 4: Or that cat?
Speaker 5: Nex Jory?
Speaker 6: He got his tail cutting the door.
Speaker 4: Well don't you hurt him?
Speaker 12: Well, goodness, shake, it's not my fault if he could
see sail cotting the door.
Speaker 6: You know, why don't he real that aerial in when
he's not using it? Now?
Speaker 12: Oh boy, I going back over now and type that
mama cad away from them kittens.
Speaker 6: Boys, I go into here, yeah here, mama cat.
Speaker 16: Look look milk, French cow juice.
Speaker 6: Look look look here, come on now here now, drink
calling up. It's working. It's bless you, it's working. Its working.
Speaker 12: Oh the cat's me there now, the mama cat's drinking
the milk. Now, I gonna get this box of kittens
and uh ain't thank you. You're gonna be me lines
and tigers. Oh, come on, I'm gonna get the box
with your meal,