Speaker 1: Aro dot net, aar r Oe dot net. Not just
one podcast, it is twenty different podcasts that embrace everything
that we are and beyond today. Woh, that sounded official,
didn't it, You know, like something our parents would say.
All of those things, it just seems so odd and strange.
And you said that, dad, where did it come from? Well,
we dig up the history something our parents would say.
Only on ero dot net. R r Oe dot net.
Enjoy the exploration. Hi Rachel, it's Aerocollins. How are you
doing today? Absolutely fantastic and very excited to share a
conversation with you because you cover a subject here that
I think is what I what we in radio call
underneath the breath. In other words, people are speaking the language,
but it's underneath their breath and it's not really meant
to be heard, but they want you.
Speaker 2: To hear it exactly. We're talking all about.
Speaker 1: It on oh Apps. I mean, five Ways to fall
in Love with your mid life. That is such a
crazy place because a lot of Generation xers and zers
and alphas in betas are going, oh, I'm so old
at fifteen. What you you haven't even hit midlife yet?
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2: Exactly?
Speaker 3: They have no idea.
Speaker 1: So what led you down this path? Was it? Was
it a moment of questioning, sharp questioning, or was it like,
oh my god, I'm seeing a lot of this around me.
Maybe I need to take a step as a journalist
and I need to see what's going on here. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think it's a combination of everything. Obviously, I have
a background in journalism. I've been a journalist for you know,
twenty five years, and I really missed having those conversations
because I kind of, you know, went into broadcasts and
doing TV shows and stuff like that, and I'm like,
nobody's talking about midlife and how it's such a time
of transition to being thick about it, Like our parents
are aging, or kids are growing up, they're leaving the nests.
You know, we're dealing with relationships that change all the time,
whether that's marriages or friendships.
Speaker 3: But it's such a great.
Speaker 2: Kind of life as well, because.
Speaker 3: I feel like there's just more connection, there's.
Speaker 2: More knowledge for sure. And now we're talking about all
of it.
Speaker 1: Well, don't you think that's because we've kind of made
fun of the midlife area only because like, oh, you're
wearing mom pants now you see what I mean, it
seems like they all of a sudden it becomes stereotypical
of the things that we're doing, and we start to
look like our parents. And it's like, I don't want
to talk about this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know who's wearing the momb pants of
a thirty year old?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So true.
Speaker 2: So we're looking at it. We are redefining what midlife is.
We're not our parents, which is what we are seeing
more and more. Right, there's that stereotypical I mean, look
at the Golden Girls. They were in their forties taking
that show. And you look at you know, people in
the e late forties and early fifties today. They look
nothing like that obviously, Right, So we are changing, you
know what it means to be mid life. We are
reinventing ourselves. We're rejuvenating ourselves, and you know, we're celebrating ourselves,
which is why it's not a time of life to
make fun of anymore. It's actually it's kind of life
to celebrate. Well.
Speaker 1: I love the way that social media, and it might
be just just the algorithms in the way of that.
I love the way that we are embracing body language.
In other words, even if your body is not perfect,
you're still wearing the most gorgeous clothes I've ever seen
in my life. I love that about how social media
is retraining our mind.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for sure. What you know with midlife comes confidence, right,
It's not something we maybe we didn't have in our
twenties and our thirties, but you know, as we get
into our forties and fifties, we are we know, we
know how beautiful we are inside and out. We're feeling ourselves.
We're not really that concerned with what people think. So
that's why you see, you know, in your algorithm or
your your Facebook feeds or your Instagram, you know, the
beautiful women out there showing their bodies, you know, showing
their lives because you know, we don't care what other
people think.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is such a hot button with me,
because I mean, because I'll go into a place of
business and the essential job, and they'll sit there and
they'll be going so and so is going to be here,
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, and I just
sit there and say, I don't care. I don't care.
I've already been through this. Man, there's no reason to
get my anxiety going through the wall. And you can
see it especially in women, because it's like, you wait, waiting,
be nice to them because they're having a tough time
with the kids in the hobby at home, and now
they come here and you just added the weight to
their day. No, let them be themselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly like I think, you know, in our twenties
and thirties, we perfore right, we network, we people, please,
we keep the peace.
Speaker 3: In mid life we're hired.
Speaker 2: We brained kids, we build our careers, we've telled our
marriages together. All of some cases, we've you know, cared
for our parents. We don't have the bandwidth for fake
friendships or surface level small talk anymore.
Speaker 1: One of the things that I'm seeing, and you definitely
put a lot of focus in on this, is that
friendship is the new love language. I'm seeing a lot
of Gallantine's day. I'm seeing, you know, when it comes
to thanksgivings, it's groups of people getting together and not
necessarily families. It's almost like we are allowing midlife to
be what guides us through the rest of the journey.
Speaker 3: Oh for sure, I think like mid life women were
not replacing romance, but we're expanding our definition of love.
Speaker 2: So Gallaniins isn't just you know, it's not about being
anti Valentines. It's about celebrating connection in the season of
life where women finally have the time and the confidence
and freedom to do it fully. And actually, research shows
that mid life women who increasingly prioritize their female friendships
and show those strong social connections, they don't just feel good.
Good for our health. People with strong social ties are
about fifty percent more likely to live longer. That's been
where it's putting smoking or exercise in regularly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you're gonna think I'm a freak. I live
through this with my wife of thirty three years, and
now my daughter is has moved through this, and it's
like I've gone through this twice staring into the eyes
and my granddaughter going, oh my god, I guess you'll
be the next one up. What do you want to know?
I've had the two chapters with this what do you want?
And I'm just going to give him your book, Rachel.
I'm just going to give him and I'm saying, Rachel knows,
she totally gets it, and yeah, she gets it, she
really does.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just send them my way.
Speaker 2: Last night. So we talk all about that stuff, and
you know, we celebrate friendships and we talking about how
important it is, and they're like on a personal level,
like I will work out four times a week with
one of my best friends at six am. WHOA, I
would never do that with my husband. Let's be real. Yeah,
there's something about those connections and that's why you see
you know the emergence of hot girl walks, right, You've
seen them all over social media because it's not just
still getting the exercise, it's all about those conversations.
Speaker 3: That happens in that walk, right, because we're talking about.
Speaker 2: Our relationships, our home, our home, wounds, everything in the
next really.
Speaker 1: So isn't that what you mean when you say choose
connection over convention?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's that's that's what we are craving in mid life.
We we don't have time for anything that's superficial or
that doesn't fill our crop, right, because when you think
about it, we're mid life, Okay, we're looking at ahead
of our time, like how many decades do we really
have left? So we really want to make sure that
everything we do and every person we bring into our life,
you know, fulfills our cops. That's why our social circles
might get smaller. They don't necessarily get lowlier. They get refond.
Speaker 1: Hey, please do not move. There's more with Rachel coming
up next five to fall in Love with your mid Life.
We are back with Rachel. Well what about this? And
I feel so guilty because I've spent so many decades
promoting this. I always try to get people to pick
up a writing instrument and to journal, to d frank,
to put everything onto that page. Well, the problem with
that is is that you develop such a strong relationship
with the power of self that everybody else kind of
gets in the way. Have you had to deal with
that where it looks like you know what you guys,
go do what you're gonna do. I'm gonna go journal,
I'll be back in about fifteen twenty minutes. I'll be okay,
but just let me journal first.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's why we keep our circles a
bit smaller, right, because we still have people around us
to support us who actually understand them. So if you
need the twenty minute to journal whatever and say okay,
I'll be sure for coffee after I've done this, or
you know, when meet for lunch after I've already taken
care of my emotional needs that way, and they say, yeah,
no problem. Then you know those are your people. I
just went on a midlife girls trip where you know,
we had some autonomy so we didn't have to do
everything together. It's like, Okay, I want to go sit
by the pool. Okay, well I'm going to go for
a massage. You know, like everybody knows, and we're confident
enough to be like, it's okay to have that time
apart because we know when we come together, you know,
it's just going to be great.
Speaker 1: So when we reach this midlife area, what is it
about the girls in the way that like, for instance,
my wife is being friends with Cindy for oh god,
it's got to be fifty one to fifty two years.
I couldn't tell you a guy that I've been friends
with for over two years. That's hard. I want to
learn her trick because it's like, what am I doing wrong?
Speaker 2: It's not anything you're doing wrong.
Speaker 3: Well, maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think women are better at fostering the relationships and
nurturing the relationships that matter. I have the best friends
that I had met when I was twelve years old,
I'm going on fifty and we are still best friends. Right,
So it's about knowing the real connections. You know, you
really want to surround yourself with people who have seen
you grow and who have seen you evolve and have
been with you through all those ups and downs, so
they actually really understand the person you are today versus
you know, acquainances.
Speaker 3: That you meet and you know, buddies you might meet
you know, twenty year or something like that.
Speaker 2: Right, It's all about the depth of the connection.
Speaker 1: Dealing with that moment when you realize that your fantasy
in your twenties and thirties did not pay off and
you're stuck with, oh my god, what am I going
to do with these lessons in life? Julia Cameron would say,
give me ten things that you love in life and
go do them. What is your lesson in life? How
do we get beyond the fantasy? Because yeah, won't leave
us alone.
Speaker 2: Oh god.
Speaker 3: I mean when I think about what my.
Speaker 2: Life was going to be in my twenties and thirties,
I think I'm thankful it didn't work out.
Speaker 3: The way I thought it was.
Speaker 1: I mean, let's be real.
Speaker 2: Our lifetosts on these crazy twists and turns where you think, Okay,
that didn't work out, But now I understand ten years
down the road, fifty fifteen years down the road, Oh,
that's why.
Speaker 3: It wasn't supposed to work out, because I was meant
to do this.
Speaker 2: You know. I don't know that we have to grapple
with Oh, my future didn't turn out the way I
thought it was going through when I was twenty two
and thirty, you know, but I think we have more
knowledge of that.
Speaker 1: One of the greatest games that we can play with
the younger generation is that you can spot them about
ready to do something that you did maybe ten or
fifteen years earlier, and they go, how did you know? Oh, please,
let's don't go there. But but it just seems like
we are reliving life through other people that are much
younger than us. But it's like we always we want
to catch them before they don't so they don't have
to go through the bologny that we went through.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a mom. I have a nineteen year
old son. I see him seeing bank mistakes, and I
think it's as the parent, is better to just let
them make them. Obviously, you can make. You guide them
and give them advice. You know, chances list and they're
not going to listen to you. Did you listen to
your friends and you're nice and your girls? So I
can't even say what he should do till I'm blue
in the faith. Is he going to do it? Maybe?
Maybe not, But that's his lesson to learn, right. I mean,
I think wholehearted that you learn more from your failures
than you ever did from your successes.
Speaker 1: We have entered this age where we are becoming the parents,
and I and my sister and I had so many
conversations over this is that she felt like that she
needed to be the caretaker of the family. But it
really really did a lot of damage to her because
we don't have the mom makings. What is it about
being a middle aged mother and a little bit older
that mom is able to find her calm, But when
we're taking care of our elders such as mom and dad,
my God in Heaven, it just can't be the same,
or is it.
Speaker 2: I mean our relationships with our parents, us our kids.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well, I definitely that with the parents, because
all of a sudden, you know, you have to become
the parent to your parents. But I guess the struggle
is is that it's like it's taking care of an
adult child, and it's like no one along the way
preppt us for that. There was no school that we
could go to to become a caretaker. It's like, oh,
you just fell into my caretaking love, let's go, let's
make it work. Yeah. And so that's why I look
at a book like, here's what I'm going. There's got
to be an answer here for the caretakers of the
world that didn't ask for this but they got it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think I mean, listen, you could unlock
a whole lot of trauma here. Again when we have
friends who are in that sort of situation where their
caretaking for their boomer parents.
Speaker 3: Okay, and we know.
Speaker 2: Boomer parents weren't necessarily the best parents. There's a lot
of friction and cossook maybe growing up that we still remember.
Speaker 3: So you know, back in the days, you would hear.
Speaker 2: Oh my parents kicked me out and I was fifteen,
sixteen whatever. Right today we don't do that, Okay, but
you know our generation was very sad, way a lot
of us. So now that we're in a situation where
like Okay, well now I need your help. Right now,
I'm the older parents and I need your health to
help me. And then we think, okay, well when I
was fifteen, you kicked me out of the house. So,
you know, for those types of situations, I think it's
especially difficult because you have to st to get past that.
So thankfully I had a very loving mother, I don't
have to deal with that. But you know, for those
people who you know, grew up not in the best
relationship with their parents and now they're facing the fact that,
oh now I have to take care of them. Maybe
they're still that bent up trauma or conflict. I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's a hard one, but you really do have to
step up.
Speaker 2: And you know, hopefully you have a good network of
friends and family that will help you.
Speaker 1: With your journalism background. Are you taking this to a
podcast or you taking it out on the road, because
you've got a message here that needs to be experienced,
not just heard, it needs to be experienced.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the christ Mix this a podcast you can
be You're all wherever you get your podcasts, We're you know, Spotify, Apple,
Amazon and YouTube all the things. So yeah, yeah, it's amazing.
We have some really great conversations. You know, we talk
everything that's finance, relationships, career, foremones, everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I mean it's like the I'm in the
center of so many different people with all the things
that I do, and there are some middle aged and
older people that are just discovering podcasts, and my god,
subjects like this are to me it's the new book club.
Oh my god, you sit down and talk to an
older person about podcasts and you're sitting in a book club.
Speaker 2: Oh, because it's a new way to connect. Yeah. Right,
podcast is real personal. It's like you're tuning in, you're
having a conversation with your best friend, and you get
to know the hosts and whatever. So you feel like
you're really part of that community. So I get it.
And actually that's why I think it's I think it's
such a great you know media.
Speaker 1: Where can people go to find out more about everything
that you're doing? Because I love where your heart is.
You are so in tune with the vibration of real people.
Speaker 2: Oh thank you. Yeah. Let follow us on Instagram at
Midlife Mix. We're also on YouTube. The podcast, you know
beginning a new episode out mostly every Friday, and you
can pick it up anywhere you listen to podcasts. Really,
we're everywhere, so yeah, take us out.
Speaker 1: There, excellent. Will you be brilliant today and please make
your way back to this show because I we're not
even getting started here. We just barely started on subjects here.
Speaker 2: I know, I know. I would love to thank you
for
Speaker 1: Having me on you bet be brilliant today YouTube