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Speaker 1: Aro dot net, aar r Oe dot net. Not just

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one podcast, it is twenty different podcasts that embrace everything

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that we are and beyond today. Woh, that sounded official,

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didn't it, You know, like something our parents would say.

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All of those things, it just seems so odd and strange.

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And you said that, dad, where did it come from? Well,

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we dig up the history something our parents would say.

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Only on ero dot net. R r Oe dot net.

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Enjoy the exploration. Hi Rachel, it's Aerocollins. How are you

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doing today? Absolutely fantastic and very excited to share a

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conversation with you because you cover a subject here that

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I think is what I what we in radio call

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underneath the breath. In other words, people are speaking the language,

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but it's underneath their breath and it's not really meant

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to be heard, but they want you.

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Speaker 2: To hear it exactly. We're talking all about.

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Speaker 1: It on oh Apps. I mean, five Ways to fall

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in Love with your mid life. That is such a

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crazy place because a lot of Generation xers and zers

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and alphas in betas are going, oh, I'm so old

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at fifteen. What you you haven't even hit midlife yet?

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What are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: Exactly?

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Speaker 3: They have no idea.

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Speaker 1: So what led you down this path? Was it? Was

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it a moment of questioning, sharp questioning, or was it like,

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oh my god, I'm seeing a lot of this around me.

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Maybe I need to take a step as a journalist

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and I need to see what's going on here. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think it's a combination of everything. Obviously, I have

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a background in journalism. I've been a journalist for you know,

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twenty five years, and I really missed having those conversations

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because I kind of, you know, went into broadcasts and

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doing TV shows and stuff like that, and I'm like,

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nobody's talking about midlife and how it's such a time

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of transition to being thick about it, Like our parents

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are aging, or kids are growing up, they're leaving the nests.

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You know, we're dealing with relationships that change all the time,

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whether that's marriages or friendships.

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Speaker 3: But it's such a great.

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Speaker 2: Kind of life as well, because.

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Speaker 3: I feel like there's just more connection, there's.

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Speaker 2: More knowledge for sure. And now we're talking about all

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of it.

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Speaker 1: Well, don't you think that's because we've kind of made

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fun of the midlife area only because like, oh, you're

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wearing mom pants now you see what I mean, it

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seems like they all of a sudden it becomes stereotypical

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of the things that we're doing, and we start to

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look like our parents. And it's like, I don't want

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to talk about this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know who's wearing the momb pants of

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a thirty year old?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So true.

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Speaker 2: So we're looking at it. We are redefining what midlife is.

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We're not our parents, which is what we are seeing

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more and more. Right, there's that stereotypical I mean, look

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at the Golden Girls. They were in their forties taking

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that show. And you look at you know, people in

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the e late forties and early fifties today. They look

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nothing like that obviously, Right, So we are changing, you

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know what it means to be mid life. We are

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reinventing ourselves. We're rejuvenating ourselves, and you know, we're celebrating ourselves,

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which is why it's not a time of life to

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make fun of anymore. It's actually it's kind of life

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to celebrate. Well.

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Speaker 1: I love the way that social media, and it might

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be just just the algorithms in the way of that.

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I love the way that we are embracing body language.

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In other words, even if your body is not perfect,

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you're still wearing the most gorgeous clothes I've ever seen

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in my life. I love that about how social media

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is retraining our mind.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for sure. What you know with midlife comes confidence, right,

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It's not something we maybe we didn't have in our

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twenties and our thirties, but you know, as we get

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into our forties and fifties, we are we know, we

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know how beautiful we are inside and out. We're feeling ourselves.

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We're not really that concerned with what people think. So

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that's why you see, you know, in your algorithm or

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your your Facebook feeds or your Instagram, you know, the

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beautiful women out there showing their bodies, you know, showing

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their lives because you know, we don't care what other

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people think.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is such a hot button with me,

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because I mean, because I'll go into a place of

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business and the essential job, and they'll sit there and

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they'll be going so and so is going to be here,

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blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, and I just

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sit there and say, I don't care. I don't care.

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I've already been through this. Man, there's no reason to

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get my anxiety going through the wall. And you can

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see it especially in women, because it's like, you wait, waiting,

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be nice to them because they're having a tough time

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with the kids in the hobby at home, and now

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they come here and you just added the weight to

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their day. No, let them be themselves.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly like I think, you know, in our twenties

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and thirties, we perfore right, we network, we people, please,

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we keep the peace.

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Speaker 3: In mid life we're hired.

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Speaker 2: We brained kids, we build our careers, we've telled our

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marriages together. All of some cases, we've you know, cared

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for our parents. We don't have the bandwidth for fake

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friendships or surface level small talk anymore.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that I'm seeing, and you definitely

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put a lot of focus in on this, is that

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friendship is the new love language. I'm seeing a lot

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of Gallantine's day. I'm seeing, you know, when it comes

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to thanksgivings, it's groups of people getting together and not

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necessarily families. It's almost like we are allowing midlife to

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be what guides us through the rest of the journey.

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Speaker 3: Oh for sure, I think like mid life women were

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not replacing romance, but we're expanding our definition of love.

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Speaker 2: So Gallaniins isn't just you know, it's not about being

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anti Valentines. It's about celebrating connection in the season of

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life where women finally have the time and the confidence

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and freedom to do it fully. And actually, research shows

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that mid life women who increasingly prioritize their female friendships

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and show those strong social connections, they don't just feel good.

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Good for our health. People with strong social ties are

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about fifty percent more likely to live longer. That's been

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where it's putting smoking or exercise in regularly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you're gonna think I'm a freak. I live

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through this with my wife of thirty three years, and

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now my daughter is has moved through this, and it's

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like I've gone through this twice staring into the eyes

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and my granddaughter going, oh my god, I guess you'll

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be the next one up. What do you want to know?

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I've had the two chapters with this what do you want?

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And I'm just going to give him your book, Rachel.

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I'm just going to give him and I'm saying, Rachel knows,

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she totally gets it, and yeah, she gets it, she

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really does.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just send them my way.

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Speaker 2: Last night. So we talk all about that stuff, and

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you know, we celebrate friendships and we talking about how

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important it is, and they're like on a personal level,

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like I will work out four times a week with

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one of my best friends at six am. WHOA, I

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would never do that with my husband. Let's be real. Yeah,

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there's something about those connections and that's why you see

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you know the emergence of hot girl walks, right, You've

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seen them all over social media because it's not just

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still getting the exercise, it's all about those conversations.

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Speaker 3: That happens in that walk, right, because we're talking about.

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Speaker 2: Our relationships, our home, our home, wounds, everything in the

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next really.

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Speaker 1: So isn't that what you mean when you say choose

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connection over convention?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's that's that's what we are craving in mid life.

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We we don't have time for anything that's superficial or

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that doesn't fill our crop, right, because when you think

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about it, we're mid life, Okay, we're looking at ahead

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of our time, like how many decades do we really

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have left? So we really want to make sure that

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everything we do and every person we bring into our life,

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you know, fulfills our cops. That's why our social circles

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might get smaller. They don't necessarily get lowlier. They get refond.

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Speaker 1: Hey, please do not move. There's more with Rachel coming

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up next five to fall in Love with your mid Life.

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We are back with Rachel. Well what about this? And

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I feel so guilty because I've spent so many decades

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promoting this. I always try to get people to pick

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up a writing instrument and to journal, to d frank,

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to put everything onto that page. Well, the problem with

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that is is that you develop such a strong relationship

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with the power of self that everybody else kind of

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gets in the way. Have you had to deal with

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that where it looks like you know what you guys,

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go do what you're gonna do. I'm gonna go journal,

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I'll be back in about fifteen twenty minutes. I'll be okay,

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but just let me journal first.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's why we keep our circles a

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bit smaller, right, because we still have people around us

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to support us who actually understand them. So if you

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need the twenty minute to journal whatever and say okay,

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I'll be sure for coffee after I've done this, or

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you know, when meet for lunch after I've already taken

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care of my emotional needs that way, and they say, yeah,

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no problem. Then you know those are your people. I

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just went on a midlife girls trip where you know,

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we had some autonomy so we didn't have to do

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everything together. It's like, Okay, I want to go sit

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by the pool. Okay, well I'm going to go for

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a massage. You know, like everybody knows, and we're confident

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enough to be like, it's okay to have that time

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apart because we know when we come together, you know,

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it's just going to be great.

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Speaker 1: So when we reach this midlife area, what is it

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about the girls in the way that like, for instance,

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my wife is being friends with Cindy for oh god,

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it's got to be fifty one to fifty two years.

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I couldn't tell you a guy that I've been friends

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with for over two years. That's hard. I want to

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learn her trick because it's like, what am I doing wrong?

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Speaker 2: It's not anything you're doing wrong.

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Speaker 3: Well, maybe I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think women are better at fostering the relationships and

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nurturing the relationships that matter. I have the best friends

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that I had met when I was twelve years old,

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I'm going on fifty and we are still best friends. Right,

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So it's about knowing the real connections. You know, you

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really want to surround yourself with people who have seen

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you grow and who have seen you evolve and have

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been with you through all those ups and downs, so

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they actually really understand the person you are today versus

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you know, acquainances.

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Speaker 3: That you meet and you know, buddies you might meet

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you know, twenty year or something like that.

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Speaker 2: Right, It's all about the depth of the connection.

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Speaker 1: Dealing with that moment when you realize that your fantasy

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in your twenties and thirties did not pay off and

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you're stuck with, oh my god, what am I going

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to do with these lessons in life? Julia Cameron would say,

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give me ten things that you love in life and

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go do them. What is your lesson in life? How

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do we get beyond the fantasy? Because yeah, won't leave

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us alone.

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Speaker 2: Oh god.

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Speaker 3: I mean when I think about what my.

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Speaker 2: Life was going to be in my twenties and thirties,

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I think I'm thankful it didn't work out.

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Speaker 3: The way I thought it was.

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Speaker 1: I mean, let's be real.

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Speaker 2: Our lifetosts on these crazy twists and turns where you think, Okay,

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that didn't work out, But now I understand ten years

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down the road, fifty fifteen years down the road, Oh,

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that's why.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't supposed to work out, because I was meant

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to do this.

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Speaker 2: You know. I don't know that we have to grapple

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with Oh, my future didn't turn out the way I

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thought it was going through when I was twenty two

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and thirty, you know, but I think we have more

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knowledge of that.

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Speaker 1: One of the greatest games that we can play with

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the younger generation is that you can spot them about

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ready to do something that you did maybe ten or

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fifteen years earlier, and they go, how did you know? Oh, please,

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let's don't go there. But but it just seems like

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we are reliving life through other people that are much

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younger than us. But it's like we always we want

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to catch them before they don't so they don't have

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to go through the bologny that we went through.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a mom. I have a nineteen year

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old son. I see him seeing bank mistakes, and I

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think it's as the parent, is better to just let

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them make them. Obviously, you can make. You guide them

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and give them advice. You know, chances list and they're

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not going to listen to you. Did you listen to

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your friends and you're nice and your girls? So I

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can't even say what he should do till I'm blue

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in the faith. Is he going to do it? Maybe?

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Maybe not, But that's his lesson to learn, right. I mean,

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I think wholehearted that you learn more from your failures

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than you ever did from your successes.

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Speaker 1: We have entered this age where we are becoming the parents,

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and I and my sister and I had so many

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conversations over this is that she felt like that she

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needed to be the caretaker of the family. But it

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really really did a lot of damage to her because

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we don't have the mom makings. What is it about

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being a middle aged mother and a little bit older

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that mom is able to find her calm, But when

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we're taking care of our elders such as mom and dad,

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my God in Heaven, it just can't be the same,

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or is it.

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Speaker 2: I mean our relationships with our parents, us our kids.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well, I definitely that with the parents, because

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all of a sudden, you know, you have to become

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the parent to your parents. But I guess the struggle

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is is that it's like it's taking care of an

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adult child, and it's like no one along the way

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preppt us for that. There was no school that we

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could go to to become a caretaker. It's like, oh,

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you just fell into my caretaking love, let's go, let's

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make it work. Yeah. And so that's why I look

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at a book like, here's what I'm going. There's got

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to be an answer here for the caretakers of the

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world that didn't ask for this but they got it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think I mean, listen, you could unlock

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a whole lot of trauma here. Again when we have

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friends who are in that sort of situation where their

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caretaking for their boomer parents.

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Speaker 3: Okay, and we know.

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Speaker 2: Boomer parents weren't necessarily the best parents. There's a lot

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of friction and cossook maybe growing up that we still remember.

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Speaker 3: So you know, back in the days, you would hear.

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Speaker 2: Oh my parents kicked me out and I was fifteen,

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sixteen whatever. Right today we don't do that, Okay, but

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you know our generation was very sad, way a lot

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of us. So now that we're in a situation where

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like Okay, well now I need your help. Right now,

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I'm the older parents and I need your health to

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help me. And then we think, okay, well when I

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was fifteen, you kicked me out of the house. So,

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you know, for those types of situations, I think it's

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especially difficult because you have to st to get past that.

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So thankfully I had a very loving mother, I don't

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have to deal with that. But you know, for those

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people who you know, grew up not in the best

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relationship with their parents and now they're facing the fact that,

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oh now I have to take care of them. Maybe

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they're still that bent up trauma or conflict. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: It's a hard one, but you really do have to

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step up.

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Speaker 2: And you know, hopefully you have a good network of

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friends and family that will help you.

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Speaker 1: With your journalism background. Are you taking this to a

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podcast or you taking it out on the road, because

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you've got a message here that needs to be experienced,

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not just heard, it needs to be experienced.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so the christ Mix this a podcast you can

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be You're all wherever you get your podcasts, We're you know, Spotify, Apple,

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Amazon and YouTube all the things. So yeah, yeah, it's amazing.

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We have some really great conversations. You know, we talk

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everything that's finance, relationships, career, foremones, everything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I mean it's like the I'm in the

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center of so many different people with all the things

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that I do, and there are some middle aged and

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older people that are just discovering podcasts, and my god,

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subjects like this are to me it's the new book club.

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Oh my god, you sit down and talk to an

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older person about podcasts and you're sitting in a book club.

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Speaker 2: Oh, because it's a new way to connect. Yeah. Right,

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podcast is real personal. It's like you're tuning in, you're

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having a conversation with your best friend, and you get

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to know the hosts and whatever. So you feel like

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you're really part of that community. So I get it.

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And actually that's why I think it's I think it's

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such a great you know media.

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Speaker 1: Where can people go to find out more about everything

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that you're doing? Because I love where your heart is.

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You are so in tune with the vibration of real people.

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Speaker 2: Oh thank you. Yeah. Let follow us on Instagram at

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Midlife Mix. We're also on YouTube. The podcast, you know

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beginning a new episode out mostly every Friday, and you

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can pick it up anywhere you listen to podcasts. Really,

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we're everywhere, so yeah, take us out.

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Speaker 1: There, excellent. Will you be brilliant today and please make

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your way back to this show because I we're not

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even getting started here. We just barely started on subjects here.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know. I would love to thank you

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for

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Speaker 1: Having me on you bet be brilliant today YouTube