Speaker 1: Let's say good morning now to Richard Simon, the author
Speaker 1: of Unplug How to Break Up with your Phone and
Speaker 1: Reclaim your Life.
Speaker 2: Good morning Richard, Good morning Amy.
Speaker 1: Great to be here, Great to have you. Thanks for
Speaker 1: getting up early with this. So you wrote this book,
Speaker 1: and I saw the press release on it, and I go, oh,
Speaker 1: my gosh, I have to read this book. And I
Speaker 1: will tell you that since reading it, I've noticed even
Speaker 1: more how pervasive our phones are. Like I'll find myself
Speaker 1: sitting on the couch just playing Solitaire and other word
Speaker 1: games four hours at a time, and it's just this
Speaker 1: time suck and then like I'll put the phone down
Speaker 1: and then I'll get this feeling like I need to
Speaker 1: pick it up and play another game. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, why is that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the core piece of dopamine. Dopamine is the most powerful,
Speaker 2: one of the most powerful molecules in the brain. And
Speaker 2: each time you tap your phone, whether it's with Solitaire
Speaker 2: or whether it's Internet browser or WhatsApp, whatever it might be,
Speaker 2: it releases dopamine, which just becomes more and more pleasurable.
Speaker 2: And the smartphone is literally a shortcut machine. And that's
Speaker 2: what's going on behind the scenes in your mind.
Speaker 1: Okay, so the premise of the book seems pretty straightforward.
Speaker 1: You know that it may be time to break up
Speaker 1: with your phone. But I want to ask you kind
Speaker 1: of what is the goal of the book, Like, what
Speaker 1: gave you the idea to write it?
Speaker 2: Sure, and I'll started with me. I was sick of
Speaker 2: my smartphone taking up hours of my day. The average
Speaker 2: American adult spends more than five hours of dating on
Speaker 2: their smartphones. We don't get that time back, and as
Speaker 2: a father to young kids, in twenty nineteen, I realized this.
Speaker 2: I had enough. So in twenty twenty, I turned my
Speaker 2: smartphone off for an entire year, and it was one
Speaker 2: of the most transformative moments of my life. And what
Speaker 2: I realized is that look at all the various self
Speaker 2: help articles and books everyone is espousing hacks noble as
Speaker 2: they might be, but deleting social media, putting a rubber
Speaker 2: band around your phone, digital stabbus, all these things are great,
Speaker 2: but for something as addictive as a phone, as you
Speaker 2: are just talking about it doesn't go far enough. So
Speaker 2: I end up interviewing dozens of people over the course
Speaker 2: of the last couple of years and found that the
Speaker 2: first step to establishing a more effective relationship with your
Speaker 2: smartphone is to turn it off.
Speaker 1: Okay, so turn off completely. So no GPS, no texting,
Speaker 1: no social media, just done.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, there are four different styles that outline the
Speaker 2: book in terms of turning it off. The most popular
Speaker 2: one I think that will resonate for your listeners is
Speaker 2: to switch to a basic phone. And when I say
Speaker 2: basic phone, I mean basic like calling and texting. There
Speaker 2: are some like Kosher phones or wise phones that have
Speaker 2: more features. For the sake of recalibrating the reward pathways
Speaker 2: in your brain, I highly recommend switching over to a
Speaker 2: basic phone. You can have your same phone number, you
Speaker 2: can switch over the simcard at your local AT and
Speaker 2: T Verizon, your T Mobile story. And by doing that,
Speaker 2: by switching over to a basic phone, you're going to
Speaker 2: regain the most precious resource source in life, which is time.
Speaker 2: You're gonna get hours back because you're not gonna want
Speaker 2: to text on this terrible device because it takes forever
Speaker 2: the text and it'll completely reset you. So one of
Speaker 2: the four breakup styles are recommend is switching to a
Speaker 2: basic som.
Speaker 1: Okay, So then Richard also tell me like you said
Speaker 1: that one of the things you noticed when I was
Speaker 1: reading your book, you said you you and your wife
Speaker 1: would come sit down on your couch at night and
Speaker 1: you wouldn't talk to each other because you just stick
Speaker 1: your noses in your phones and you're doing your own thing.
Speaker 1: How did that immediately change when you turned your phone off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my wife, and she's a doctor, she's a physician.
Speaker 2: She's very very busy in terms of her hours. And
Speaker 2: what would end up happening is during the day. I'm
Speaker 2: sure many other married couples who are listening go through this.
Speaker 2: You text each other throughout the day, spouses, and there's
Speaker 2: dozens of texts that are happening. You know, this is happening,
Speaker 2: This is happening. What do you think of this? How
Speaker 2: about this for dinner? This? And before you know it,
Speaker 2: you get back home and you're already caught up when
Speaker 2: everything had happened during the day, there's nothing to catch
Speaker 2: up on, and all of a sudden, you know, we
Speaker 2: stopped this texting throughout the day and we actual like
Speaker 2: sit down and have dinner at the family and like,
Speaker 2: I'm genuinely curious about what happened during the day, And
Speaker 2: same for her in terms of what happened for my day.
Speaker 2: It completely reset our relationship and it grew tremendously since
Speaker 2: I went to this process and with the dozens of
Speaker 2: people I interviewed in the book and in my profile,
Speaker 2: it was the same. Relationships with family just improved so much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and well, we hear a lot about how like
Speaker 1: kids who have grown up, they've had smartphones since, you know,
Speaker 1: since they were very young, that they don't communicate as well,
Speaker 1: they don't have those same communication skills because, like you said,
Speaker 1: they text and do short little blurbs as opposed to
Speaker 1: having full on conversations like we used to when we
Speaker 1: were growing up. So I could I can see that correlation.
Speaker 1: If somebody wants to dip their toe in, is there
Speaker 1: a way to dip their toe in?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean for starters, go for a walk. Go
Speaker 2: for a walk around the neighborhood for forty five minutes
Speaker 2: an hour, and don't bring your phone. You're going to
Speaker 2: be going crazy inside the first time you do it.
Speaker 2: This is how addictive a smartphone is. But go for
Speaker 2: a walk for forty five minutes to an hour and
Speaker 2: do it by yourself for the first time. Don't bring
Speaker 2: someone else and just have to embrace your own thoughts.
Speaker 2: That's a smartphone has done is that we are no
Speaker 2: longer able to embrace solitude, We're no longer able to
Speaker 2: truly think. So that's the first step I would do,
Speaker 2: And after you do it a few times, you're going
Speaker 2: to realize this is really really nice. Start doing it
Speaker 2: when you go out to dinner with friends, leave your
Speaker 2: phone at home. The first time you're in the car.
Speaker 2: You might be completely freaking out. That's the withdrawal, it's
Speaker 2: completely natural. Then you're going to realize how special that is.
Speaker 2: So before you go through any sort of detox in
Speaker 2: terms of turning your phone off, I have a whole
Speaker 2: section in my book about preparation. I think those were
Speaker 2: some of the initial things you can do to start
Speaker 2: to realize that, okay, I can do this.
Speaker 1: Okay. And another example that you gave Richard that I
Speaker 1: absolutely loved was you said after you turned your phone
Speaker 1: off or you left it behind. I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: it was before you or after you actually turned the
Speaker 1: smartphone off. As you said, you went to the grocery
Speaker 1: store and you were standing in line and you just
Speaker 1: had to stand there because you didn't have a phone
Speaker 1: to check and how weird that feeling is because we're
Speaker 1: so used to be being connected all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true. Yeah, the first day of my detox, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was at the grocery store and yeah, even just
Speaker 2: for three four minutes, I could only scan the tabloids
Speaker 2: for so long around me, and I'm literally freaking out inside.
Speaker 2: And I'm literally standing in line at a grocery store.
Speaker 2: You'd figure, Okay, you can deal with it for three
Speaker 2: or four minutes, but I was not comfortable enough being
Speaker 2: in my own skin. Now, looking back when it's five
Speaker 2: years later, I mean, I don't go to the grocery
Speaker 2: store with a smartphone ever. So now I'm totally comfortable
Speaker 2: with it. So this whole process to talk about in
Speaker 2: the book, it really will recalibrate the low word pathways
Speaker 2: in your brain.
Speaker 1: Okay, Richard Simon, The book is Unplugged, How to break
Speaker 1: up with your Phone and Reclaim your Life. I wish
Speaker 1: we had more time to talk because this is so
Speaker 1: interesting and it really opened my eyes to how much
Speaker 1: we spend time on our phones and don't spend our
Speaker 1: time living our lives. Where can we get the.
Speaker 2: Book, Richard, I'm Plugged if be found at all major booksellers, Amazon, Targets,
Speaker 2: Barnes and Noble, Walmart, your local independent bookstore wherever books
Speaker 2: are sold.
Speaker 1: All right, thank you so much, Richard Simon. Again, the
Speaker 1: book is Unplugged, How to break up with your Phone
Speaker 1: and reclaim your life. It's a quick read, and it's
Speaker 1: really a good read. Richard, appreciate it. Have a great day.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much. Aming you too.