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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all were on break and hope you're enjoying the

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holidays too. If you're looking for some chick content, we

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have got a treat for you.

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Speaker 2: We have curated some of the best of replays just

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for you. We hope you laugh along with us during

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this and then it brings up all the memories. Enjoy.

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Kelly Wiseman on Venmo said, for Dad Joke Wednesday, that's right,

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it's dad joke Wednesday. Oh my gosh it is. She said,

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what do you call James Bond in the bathtub? Bubbalo seven?

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Happy Christmas season, jerks. Alexandra on PayPal said I saw

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some sheep yesterday. The weather wasn't too bad either. Happy

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dad joke Wednesday. That was good, Thank you, Alexandra.

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Speaker 1: Aaron Powers I got hacked. If anyone gets a message

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from me about canned meat, don't open it. It's spam. Sorry,

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not sorry, take my money. Lorien's Lovely Ladies. Sorry I'm late.

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There was a dancing party of giraffes on the interstate.

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Speaker 2: It was a real giraffic jam from Laura Teams, who says,

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dad joke rip boiled water. You will be missed.

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Speaker 1: M I s t I get it. I totally get

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I see what you did there? Missed that?

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Speaker 2: Karrio twenty three says, what Christmas Carol? Do they sing

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in a psychiatric hospital? Do you hear what I hear?

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Speaker 1: Take my I love it, beach su Gi. Why don't

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you ever see Santa in a hospital because he has

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private ealth care. Also, we can hear you, I love that, yay,

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Brian Bromley. I was in a philosophy class where everybody

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got leryingitis, so the professor canceled. Guess he didn't want

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to put discard before the horse. Sorry to Caart. Did

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I say discard descarte before the horse? Sorry? Please take

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my money?

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Speaker 2: Genius. The first says, did you hear about the kidnapping

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at school? He eventually woke up.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, I got it. God, that took me

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like way too long, Like I was so into.

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Speaker 2: Like the Julia Roberts face with all the math behind her.

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That took me.

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Speaker 1: That was bad. I need more coffee, you guys. Currio

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twenty three, What do you think is the name of

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Moby Dick's dad, Papa Boner Morning from Texas? Dad jokes

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to get us through the shutdown what do you call

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a criminal landing and airplane? Condescending?

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Speaker 2: Concen get it?

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Speaker 1: What's a dog's favorite superhero? Labrathor? Why aren't dogs allowed

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in bars because they can't control their liquor?

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Speaker 2: Kathy Proctor, who said, why did the banana go to

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the doctor? He didn't peel too good? Oh that's from

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her grandson yesterday, she said, Oh, and then Kelly Wiseman said,

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Merry Christmas, jerk. Why do cows have hooves because they

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lacked toes? Oh my love?

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Speaker 1: Robert Clark, how do you make seven? Even? Take away

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the s? A?

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Speaker 2: Get it?

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Speaker 1: At it? Seven? Take away the s? It becomes even

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you guys?

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Speaker 2: Get it?

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Speaker 1: Aaron Powers. I swallowed a bunch of synonyms yesterday. Gave

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me the sorest throat I've ever had. I'm actually a

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little sorry to take my money.

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Speaker 2: I love that one.

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Speaker 1: That's my favorite. That's totally a mock joke. Carrio twenty three.

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I got a stare Master the other day and can't

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put my finger on it, but it keeps driving me

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up the wall.

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Speaker 2: I see what he's doing there, because he did there.

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Speaker 1: Carrier twenty three, Brian Bromley, why are pediatricians so agitated

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because they have so little patience. Get it, take my money.

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Speaker 2: Sue Richie says, why did the sailors have to stop

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playing cards? The captain was standing on the deck. Oh

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that's the joke she was trying to tell earlier.

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Speaker 1: The captain's standing on the deck.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, now we get it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Sue Laurie says, dad joke. Did you hear that Joe

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went on a Dolly parton diet? Did it work? Yep?

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It was a nine to five program and it made

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Joe lean Joe, Lene, Jo Lean, Jo Len.

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Speaker 1: That's good.

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Speaker 2: I like that.

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Speaker 1: The delivery, new face kiss the delivery, Happy dad joke,

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Sorry nerd Dad eighty three? Happy dad joke. Wednesday. My

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friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography. I don't

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believe him, but that's the story and he's sticking to it.

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Keep up the great work, chicks, and take my money.

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Speaker 2: That was a good one. Let's hope. I do I

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have to do this right? Let's see Carrio twenty three

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says knock knock, who's there?

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Speaker 1: Ah ah? Who?

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Speaker 2: The werewolves of London? I got it?

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Speaker 1: I did it wrong.

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Speaker 2: I mean you couldn't know. That's not a good one

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to read. Kelly Wiseman, who said, good luck with your

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move mock dad joke Wednesday. I was bored so I

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made a belt out of my watches. It was a

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waste of time. I see what you did there, Love

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you jerks, she says. Curtis sixty eight says, when does

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bread go bad when you yeast expect it?

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Speaker 1: Take my dough, ladies, Oh my goodness, I love that one.

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Speaker 2: Jose Rodriguez Morning from Texas. What did one boob say

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to the other boob? If we don't get support, people

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will think we're nuts. Oh and it's a tuber, He says,

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what kind of bees make milk? Now you can take

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my money, boobies, boobesbies. Laura Caldwell says, what's the German

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word for constipation? Far from poopin? What's the German word

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for bra keeps them from floppin'?

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Speaker 1: Okay tis the season, This is the time of year

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for steak. I've got lots of people coming to my

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house and the next week and I will make steak.

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And I swear by Amaha steaks. They are my go to.

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I always have Ama steaks in my freezer. I always

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have the bacon rat filet, sometimes just the regular filets.

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But you know me, I eat steak like probably five

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times a week.

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Speaker 2: I are very spoiled.

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Speaker 1: I am very spoiled. And Omaha steaks. It's easy to

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get spoiled with Amaha steaks. It's great because they ship

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it to you. You have it in the freezer. It's

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great when it's just a go to. I can just

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take one out, put it in my air fryer, which

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is what I do a lot. And you know, I'm

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kind of a diva in that way. But it's the best,

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you guys, the best stuff ever. And I know you

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like the wine. People don't even realize they have wine.

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Speaker 2: I know. And they have so many curated gift packages,

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not just of steaks. Or maybe you're a seafood person

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like I am. The seafood is amazing, But like the wine,

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gift baskets are so cool. They've got sides, they've got

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comfort food gift baskets, so many delicious, already pre selected

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packages ready to go that are super cost effective and

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make great gifts not just for yourself but for people

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that you love. All you have to do is go

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to Omaha Steaks dot Com right now they've got their

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fifty percent off site wide sale. So anything you get

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fifty percent off, and then when you use code Chicks

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you get an extra thirty dollars off, which is amazing.

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Speaker 1: Such a great deal. Such a slam dunk gift, you guys.

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My mom she loves this for Christmas every year. So

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do this for somebody you love. And if you don't

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want to do it for someone you love, do it

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for yourself because you love yourself.

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Speaker 2: So do it.

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Speaker 1: There you go, Omaha Steaks dot Com.

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Speaker 2: Dad joke Wednesday. It's my first week working at the

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bicycle factory and they already made me a spokesperson.

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Speaker 1: I see see what you did there? That is good.

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Speaker 2: Dad joke Wednesday. Did you know it's illegal to laugh

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in Hawaii? You have to keep it to a low ha.

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I like that.

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Speaker 1: That's cute.

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Speaker 2: That's a pretty good one, Kelly Wiseman said, Dad joke Wednesday.

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What did one blade of grass say to another about

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the lack of rain? I guess we'll just have to

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make do get it, get it, she said, love you

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so much. Jerks on the right, Yeah we are jerks.

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Brian Brimley says another one stolen from Tim Foolery aka

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Dances with Daisy? How do you wake up? Katy Perry?

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You poker face, take my money? Jerks on the right.

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That's Lady Gaga.

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Speaker 1: That's Lady Gaga.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was good though. Aaron Powers says, why couldn't

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the green pepper practice archery because he didn't have been narrow?

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Speaker 1: That was a great delivery. There much that was goodeto.

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Speaker 2: Lori Ween says, what does a nosy pepper do? It

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gets Halapino business.

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Speaker 1: I love that one.

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Speaker 2: What concert costs forty five cents? Fifty cent featuring Nickelback?

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Speaker 1: She really like that, she said, She's saying that one again.

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Speaker 2: Jace Denner, who said, what's the best thing about elevator jokes?

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They work on so many levels.

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Speaker 1: That is a dad joke.

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Speaker 2: That is a total dad joke. Mister Bigglesworth says, Democrat

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policy is always like my hairballs. You have to wait

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until I pass it to see what's in it, and

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it always stinks.

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Speaker 1: It's true.

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Speaker 2: Very Cat Stottler, thank you, Cat says how much did

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the pirates spend at the piercing Pagoda? A buccaneer Jose

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Rodriguez says, my buddy's Dodge pickup broke down. It threw

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a Ramrod hash eg gramarrod rock me here, take my money.

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T and T Alma said, why do Mexicans cross the

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border by twos and not threes? Because the sign says

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no tress.

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Speaker 1: Passing, no trace passing. Get it, get it trace is three.

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Speaker 2: T Terry eight hundred says, what is happening to the snowmen?

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They had a total meltdown. Elizabeth Wibbon, thank you, she says,

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love you chicks coming into the live late. But did

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you hear that they found bones on the moon. Guess

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that cow didn't jump high enough?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, because I get it. And then the

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cow landed on the I guess, and then there now

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there's bones.

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Speaker 2: Yes. Judy Flood said, what is a clock's favorite time?

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It's got to be six thirty hands down. I see

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what she did there. Kirio twenty three says, why do

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dwarfs laugh so much when they play soccer? Because when

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they run, the grass tickles their balls. Take my money.

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M Rincon says, what does a computer call her father? Dada? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I get it? Yeah, took me a second. A little

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slow on the uptake there.

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Speaker 2: I almost said data, and then I reckon. I realized

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what the joke was. Data.

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Speaker 1: I know you're so good at delivering me. Look at

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what I have on right now. I have on this

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stuff right now. Well, it makes me look like I'm

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less tired. That's what I like in the morning when

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I look really pale, because you know how pale I am.

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I'm like, I'm a person of pallor and this stuff

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is awesome. This is the super dark stuff. I know

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that we've had the red stuff and we've you know,

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told people about that and they love it. But I'm

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a fan of the dark. I like this super dark.

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Speaker 2: It's not the Maga dark.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you just have to dab it. It's the mega

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dark red. It's fantastic, you guys. I mean, right right now,

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you can get fifteen percent off and twenty five percent

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off when you buy two or more. This is a

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really great gift because it comes it's so beautiful and

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the packaging is gorgeous.

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Speaker 2: Are you serious? I mean, look at this and it

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looks good on everybody. Because red lifstick is hard to buy.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to buy Red lift I think, but this

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stuff is like a slam dunk every single time, So

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definitely check it out. It's a fantast gift and celebrate

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the victory of Donald Chap I mean, how why would

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you not want to do that? Visit go red forty

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seven dot com slash Chicks get your maggot dark red lipstick.

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Enjoy fifteen percent off your first item or twenty five

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percent off when you buy two or more. Would you know,

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Buy your best friend, h ie, buy your sister, your mom, whoever,

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get two, and then that discount is automatically applied in

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your car. So don't miss out on this. This is

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a limited time offer. You can shop now and use

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code Chicks fifteen off for that fifteen off, it's fantastic

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you guys.

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Speaker 2: Or chicks twenty five off if you're getting two or more.

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Speaker 1: There you go.

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Speaker 2: Autumn Vanada over on Venmo said one of my favorite

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Oh this is a it's dad joke Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's right.

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Speaker 2: You always forget, she said, One of my favorites from

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your radio days. I remember telling this one. It's Elton

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John bought his pet rabbit a treadmill, so you know

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what he's got. It's a little fit bunny. That's not

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a good one.

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Speaker 1: It's a little fit bunny.

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Speaker 2: It is, it's a little anyway over on locals, Gerber said,

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what do you call an alligator? An a vest? It's

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an investigator, it is Aaron Power says, I went to

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the doctor in a panic and told him I feel

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like I'm shrinking. He told me to calm down and

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that I just need to learn to be a little patient.

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Take my money.

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Speaker 1: I feel seen by that one.

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Speaker 2: Shannon Pope says, what do you get when you cross

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a Jehovah's witness with an atheist? Someone who knocks on

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your door for no apparent reason. Brian Bumley said, if

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you have a security issue online, just change all your

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passwords to Kenny. Then you will have all Kenny Loggins.

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Speaker 1: He loved that so much.

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Speaker 2: I do love that one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're taking the highway to the danger zone. That one.

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Speaker 2: Please take my money as I show myself out. Don't forget,

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don't forget to tip your servers. Tina Kramer says, dad

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joke Wednesday, why did Waldo go to therapy because he

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needed to find himself?

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Speaker 1: I like that. That's a good one.

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Speaker 2: Elizabeth Etter says, I joined a Carpenter's class the other day.

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We haven't made anything yet because we've only just been

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gune I get it. Jose Rodriguez says, there once was

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a donkey that couldn't he haw. Turns out he was

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a dumbass. You're welcome, Mack. This take my money. Thanks

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for watching. We'll be back January sixth, so make sure

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to tune in and bring a friend.

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Speaker 1: Follow us and subscribe on YouTube, I Chance, Spotify, or

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wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio