Speaker 1: Hey, y'all were on break and hope you're enjoying the
holidays too. If you're looking for some chick content, we
have got a treat for you.
Speaker 2: We have curated some of the best of replays just
for you. We hope you laugh along with us during
this and then it brings up all the memories. Enjoy.
Kelly Wiseman on Venmo said, for Dad Joke Wednesday, that's right,
it's dad joke Wednesday. Oh my gosh it is. She said,
what do you call James Bond in the bathtub? Bubbalo seven?
Happy Christmas season, jerks. Alexandra on PayPal said I saw
some sheep yesterday. The weather wasn't too bad either. Happy
dad joke Wednesday. That was good, Thank you, Alexandra.
Speaker 1: Aaron Powers I got hacked. If anyone gets a message
from me about canned meat, don't open it. It's spam. Sorry,
not sorry, take my money. Lorien's Lovely Ladies. Sorry I'm late.
There was a dancing party of giraffes on the interstate.
Speaker 2: It was a real giraffic jam from Laura Teams, who says,
dad joke rip boiled water. You will be missed.
Speaker 1: M I s t I get it. I totally get
I see what you did there? Missed that?
Speaker 2: Karrio twenty three says, what Christmas Carol? Do they sing
in a psychiatric hospital? Do you hear what I hear?
Speaker 1: Take my I love it, beach su Gi. Why don't
you ever see Santa in a hospital because he has
private ealth care. Also, we can hear you, I love that, yay,
Brian Bromley. I was in a philosophy class where everybody
got leryingitis, so the professor canceled. Guess he didn't want
to put discard before the horse. Sorry to Caart. Did
I say discard descarte before the horse? Sorry? Please take
my money?
Speaker 2: Genius. The first says, did you hear about the kidnapping
at school? He eventually woke up.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, I got it. God, that took me
like way too long, Like I was so into.
Speaker 2: Like the Julia Roberts face with all the math behind her.
That took me.
Speaker 1: That was bad. I need more coffee, you guys. Currio
twenty three, What do you think is the name of
Moby Dick's dad, Papa Boner Morning from Texas? Dad jokes
to get us through the shutdown what do you call
a criminal landing and airplane? Condescending?
Speaker 2: Concen get it?
Speaker 1: What's a dog's favorite superhero? Labrathor? Why aren't dogs allowed
in bars because they can't control their liquor?
Speaker 2: Kathy Proctor, who said, why did the banana go to
the doctor? He didn't peel too good? Oh that's from
her grandson yesterday, she said, Oh, and then Kelly Wiseman said,
Merry Christmas, jerk. Why do cows have hooves because they
lacked toes? Oh my love?
Speaker 1: Robert Clark, how do you make seven? Even? Take away
the s? A?
Speaker 2: Get it?
Speaker 1: At it? Seven? Take away the s? It becomes even
you guys?
Speaker 2: Get it?
Speaker 1: Aaron Powers. I swallowed a bunch of synonyms yesterday. Gave
me the sorest throat I've ever had. I'm actually a
little sorry to take my money.
Speaker 2: I love that one.
Speaker 1: That's my favorite. That's totally a mock joke. Carrio twenty three.
I got a stare Master the other day and can't
put my finger on it, but it keeps driving me
up the wall.
Speaker 2: I see what he's doing there, because he did there.
Speaker 1: Carrier twenty three, Brian Bromley, why are pediatricians so agitated
because they have so little patience. Get it, take my money.
Speaker 2: Sue Richie says, why did the sailors have to stop
playing cards? The captain was standing on the deck. Oh
that's the joke she was trying to tell earlier.
Speaker 1: The captain's standing on the deck.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, now we get it.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Sue Laurie says, dad joke. Did you hear that Joe
went on a Dolly parton diet? Did it work? Yep?
It was a nine to five program and it made
Joe lean Joe, Lene, Jo Lean, Jo Len.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 1: The delivery, new face kiss the delivery, Happy dad joke,
Sorry nerd Dad eighty three? Happy dad joke. Wednesday. My
friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography. I don't
believe him, but that's the story and he's sticking to it.
Keep up the great work, chicks, and take my money.
Speaker 2: That was a good one. Let's hope. I do I
have to do this right? Let's see Carrio twenty three
says knock knock, who's there?
Speaker 1: Ah ah? Who?
Speaker 2: The werewolves of London? I got it?
Speaker 1: I did it wrong.
Speaker 2: I mean you couldn't know. That's not a good one
to read. Kelly Wiseman, who said, good luck with your
move mock dad joke Wednesday. I was bored so I
made a belt out of my watches. It was a
waste of time. I see what you did there, Love
you jerks, she says. Curtis sixty eight says, when does
bread go bad when you yeast expect it?
Speaker 1: Take my dough, ladies, Oh my goodness, I love that one.
Speaker 2: Jose Rodriguez Morning from Texas. What did one boob say
to the other boob? If we don't get support, people
will think we're nuts. Oh and it's a tuber, He says,
what kind of bees make milk? Now you can take
my money, boobies, boobesbies. Laura Caldwell says, what's the German
word for constipation? Far from poopin? What's the German word
for bra keeps them from floppin'?
Speaker 1: Okay tis the season, This is the time of year
for steak. I've got lots of people coming to my
house and the next week and I will make steak.
And I swear by Amaha steaks. They are my go to.
I always have Ama steaks in my freezer. I always
have the bacon rat filet, sometimes just the regular filets.
But you know me, I eat steak like probably five
times a week.
Speaker 2: I are very spoiled.
Speaker 1: I am very spoiled. And Omaha steaks. It's easy to
get spoiled with Amaha steaks. It's great because they ship
it to you. You have it in the freezer. It's
great when it's just a go to. I can just
take one out, put it in my air fryer, which
is what I do a lot. And you know, I'm
kind of a diva in that way. But it's the best,
you guys, the best stuff ever. And I know you
like the wine. People don't even realize they have wine.
Speaker 2: I know. And they have so many curated gift packages,
not just of steaks. Or maybe you're a seafood person
like I am. The seafood is amazing, But like the wine,
gift baskets are so cool. They've got sides, they've got
comfort food gift baskets, so many delicious, already pre selected
packages ready to go that are super cost effective and
make great gifts not just for yourself but for people
that you love. All you have to do is go
to Omaha Steaks dot Com right now they've got their
fifty percent off site wide sale. So anything you get
fifty percent off, and then when you use code Chicks
you get an extra thirty dollars off, which is amazing.
Speaker 1: Such a great deal. Such a slam dunk gift, you guys.
My mom she loves this for Christmas every year. So
do this for somebody you love. And if you don't
want to do it for someone you love, do it
for yourself because you love yourself.
Speaker 2: So do it.
Speaker 1: There you go, Omaha Steaks dot Com.
Speaker 2: Dad joke Wednesday. It's my first week working at the
bicycle factory and they already made me a spokesperson.
Speaker 1: I see see what you did there? That is good.
Speaker 2: Dad joke Wednesday. Did you know it's illegal to laugh
in Hawaii? You have to keep it to a low ha.
I like that.
Speaker 1: That's cute.
Speaker 2: That's a pretty good one, Kelly Wiseman said, Dad joke Wednesday.
What did one blade of grass say to another about
the lack of rain? I guess we'll just have to
make do get it, get it, she said, love you
so much. Jerks on the right, Yeah we are jerks.
Brian Brimley says another one stolen from Tim Foolery aka
Dances with Daisy? How do you wake up? Katy Perry?
You poker face, take my money? Jerks on the right.
That's Lady Gaga.
Speaker 1: That's Lady Gaga.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was good though. Aaron Powers says, why couldn't
the green pepper practice archery because he didn't have been narrow?
Speaker 1: That was a great delivery. There much that was goodeto.
Speaker 2: Lori Ween says, what does a nosy pepper do? It
gets Halapino business.
Speaker 1: I love that one.
Speaker 2: What concert costs forty five cents? Fifty cent featuring Nickelback?
Speaker 1: She really like that, she said, She's saying that one again.
Speaker 2: Jace Denner, who said, what's the best thing about elevator jokes?
They work on so many levels.
Speaker 1: That is a dad joke.
Speaker 2: That is a total dad joke. Mister Bigglesworth says, Democrat
policy is always like my hairballs. You have to wait
until I pass it to see what's in it, and
it always stinks.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 2: Very Cat Stottler, thank you, Cat says how much did
the pirates spend at the piercing Pagoda? A buccaneer Jose
Rodriguez says, my buddy's Dodge pickup broke down. It threw
a Ramrod hash eg gramarrod rock me here, take my money.
T and T Alma said, why do Mexicans cross the
border by twos and not threes? Because the sign says
no tress.
Speaker 1: Passing, no trace passing. Get it, get it trace is three.
Speaker 2: T Terry eight hundred says, what is happening to the snowmen?
They had a total meltdown. Elizabeth Wibbon, thank you, she says,
love you chicks coming into the live late. But did
you hear that they found bones on the moon. Guess
that cow didn't jump high enough?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, because I get it. And then the
cow landed on the I guess, and then there now
there's bones.
Speaker 2: Yes. Judy Flood said, what is a clock's favorite time?
It's got to be six thirty hands down. I see
what she did there. Kirio twenty three says, why do
dwarfs laugh so much when they play soccer? Because when
they run, the grass tickles their balls. Take my money.
M Rincon says, what does a computer call her father? Dada? Oh?
Speaker 1: I get it? Yeah, took me a second. A little
slow on the uptake there.
Speaker 2: I almost said data, and then I reckon. I realized
what the joke was. Data.
Speaker 1: I know you're so good at delivering me. Look at
what I have on right now. I have on this
stuff right now. Well, it makes me look like I'm
less tired. That's what I like in the morning when
I look really pale, because you know how pale I am.
I'm like, I'm a person of pallor and this stuff
is awesome. This is the super dark stuff. I know
that we've had the red stuff and we've you know,
told people about that and they love it. But I'm
a fan of the dark. I like this super dark.
Speaker 2: It's not the Maga dark.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just have to dab it. It's the mega
dark red. It's fantastic, you guys. I mean, right right now,
you can get fifteen percent off and twenty five percent
off when you buy two or more. This is a
really great gift because it comes it's so beautiful and
the packaging is gorgeous.
Speaker 2: Are you serious? I mean, look at this and it
looks good on everybody. Because red lifstick is hard to buy.
Speaker 1: It's hard to buy Red lift I think, but this
stuff is like a slam dunk every single time, So
definitely check it out. It's a fantast gift and celebrate
the victory of Donald Chap I mean, how why would
you not want to do that? Visit go red forty
seven dot com slash Chicks get your maggot dark red lipstick.
Enjoy fifteen percent off your first item or twenty five
percent off when you buy two or more. Would you know,
Buy your best friend, h ie, buy your sister, your mom, whoever,
get two, and then that discount is automatically applied in
your car. So don't miss out on this. This is
a limited time offer. You can shop now and use
code Chicks fifteen off for that fifteen off, it's fantastic
you guys.
Speaker 2: Or chicks twenty five off if you're getting two or more.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 2: Autumn Vanada over on Venmo said one of my favorite
Oh this is a it's dad joke Wednesday.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's right.
Speaker 2: You always forget, she said, One of my favorites from
your radio days. I remember telling this one. It's Elton
John bought his pet rabbit a treadmill, so you know
what he's got. It's a little fit bunny. That's not
a good one.
Speaker 1: It's a little fit bunny.
Speaker 2: It is, it's a little anyway over on locals, Gerber said,
what do you call an alligator? An a vest? It's
an investigator, it is Aaron Power says, I went to
the doctor in a panic and told him I feel
like I'm shrinking. He told me to calm down and
that I just need to learn to be a little patient.
Take my money.
Speaker 1: I feel seen by that one.
Speaker 2: Shannon Pope says, what do you get when you cross
a Jehovah's witness with an atheist? Someone who knocks on
your door for no apparent reason. Brian Bumley said, if
you have a security issue online, just change all your
passwords to Kenny. Then you will have all Kenny Loggins.
Speaker 1: He loved that so much.
Speaker 2: I do love that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're taking the highway to the danger zone. That one.
Speaker 2: Please take my money as I show myself out. Don't forget,
don't forget to tip your servers. Tina Kramer says, dad
joke Wednesday, why did Waldo go to therapy because he
needed to find himself?
Speaker 1: I like that. That's a good one.
Speaker 2: Elizabeth Etter says, I joined a Carpenter's class the other day.
We haven't made anything yet because we've only just been
gune I get it. Jose Rodriguez says, there once was
a donkey that couldn't he haw. Turns out he was
a dumbass. You're welcome, Mack. This take my money. Thanks
for watching. We'll be back January sixth, so make sure
to tune in and bring a friend.
Speaker 1: Follow us and subscribe on YouTube, I Chance, Spotify, or
wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio