WEBVTT 1 00:00:04.599 --> 00:00:04.960 Weird. 2 00:00:05.360 --> 00:00:58.000 We welcome back midnight viewers to follow Malones weekly round up. 3 00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:00.600 I'm following Malone and with me as always is the 4 00:01:00.759 --> 00:01:05.159 rage filled former slave Ripley Gene. I know you're not 5 00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:07.840 rage filled, although every time someone comes to the door, 6 00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:10.480 you're not exactly calm. All right, let's get to it. 7 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:16.599 Everyone loves Gladiator, everyone but me. Look, I took Latin. 8 00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:19.959 I studied the Classics with a lean towards the Roman authors. 9 00:01:20.319 --> 00:01:22.359 For me, the Greeks were always a bit too lofty. 10 00:01:22.599 --> 00:01:26.400 So my problems with the original Gladiator are two. One 11 00:01:26.439 --> 00:01:28.799 is a quibble and stems from my teenage obsession with 12 00:01:28.959 --> 00:01:32.519 historical and historically accurate events in ancient room, and we'll 13 00:01:32.519 --> 00:01:34.239 get back to that because it comes up again in 14 00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:36.719 the sequel. But the other is one that I can't 15 00:01:36.799 --> 00:01:39.959 get past anymore. It's a problem I have with most 16 00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:44.640 gritty action films. They're all predicated on the crusading widower. 17 00:01:45.359 --> 00:01:49.319 They killed his wife, that was their first mistake. Good lord, 18 00:01:49.760 --> 00:01:52.599 this is the only thing that can drive you. I mean, 19 00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:55.359 it's supposed to be a quest based on love, but 20 00:01:56.239 --> 00:02:00.120 really it's just a convenient excuse for slaking bloodlust. Let 21 00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:03.239 me ask you a question, what in the Gladiator plot 22 00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:07.480 would change if Maximus's family just didn't exist, as if 23 00:02:07.519 --> 00:02:10.439 they hadn't written them at all. Maximus is a bachelor, 24 00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:13.840 what would change in that plot? Nothing? He'd still be 25 00:02:13.919 --> 00:02:16.800 wronged by the nation he defended. Is that not worthy 26 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:19.199 of vengeance? Is it not good enough? Because it's a 27 00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:21.960 personal a vendetta. They got to kill the wife as well. 28 00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:24.680 Two weeks ago we had Road to Perdition. There's another 29 00:02:24.719 --> 00:02:28.960 crusading widower death wish the Punisher, Mad Max Brave Heart, 30 00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:31.599 The Patriot Jesus Christ mil Gibson has a whole cottage 31 00:02:31.639 --> 00:02:34.280 industry of crusading widowers. And you know what hit that 32 00:02:34.360 --> 00:02:37.080 last film, The Patriot. I found that one to be 33 00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:41.439 particularly distasteful, boiling down the American Revolution as a tale 34 00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:45.560 of revenge against the English. Good God, kill Bill crusading 35 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:48.240 widow John Wick. I know it's a dog, but the 36 00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:50.319 wife gave him the dog and she's dead, so that 37 00:02:50.360 --> 00:02:54.240 dog was the wife crusading widower. Besides, he got another dog, 38 00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:56.840 the crow. We did a whole round up about all 39 00:02:56.879 --> 00:02:59.759 of its various crusading iterations. I know it's in no 40 00:02:59.800 --> 00:03:02.800 way a new genre. In fact, revenge films are their 41 00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:05.599 own subset, and they can be great. It's just that 42 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:08.120 it's the twenty first century now, and maybe we can 43 00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:10.680 realize it's a disservice to the character that that's their 44 00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:14.759 only motivation, or really it's a disservice to the spouse, 45 00:03:15.240 --> 00:03:18.319 reducing them to nothing but a goal. But that is 46 00:03:18.479 --> 00:03:22.000 not the overriding problem with Gladiator too. 47 00:03:23.479 --> 00:03:24.599 I remember that day. 48 00:03:26.840 --> 00:03:30.919 I never forgot it, but a slave could take revenge 49 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:31.879 against an emperor. 50 00:03:33.960 --> 00:03:34.719 Where were you born? 51 00:03:35.319 --> 00:03:38.520 I don't know. I never knew a mother, now a father. 52 00:03:39.719 --> 00:03:42.240 You will be my instrument? Who are you? 53 00:03:47.919 --> 00:03:48.879 Did you hear that crowd? 54 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:57.120 The greatest temple room ever built, the Colisseum, Because this 55 00:03:57.159 --> 00:03:59.719 is what they believe in power. 56 00:04:09.479 --> 00:04:12.680 General the cases, there are victories yet still to come. 57 00:04:13.919 --> 00:04:16.439 JOm has so many subjects she must feed them. 58 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:27.160 They can eat wool. The arena turned slaves into gladiators, 59 00:04:26.600 --> 00:04:28.759 and the gladiators into free men. 60 00:04:29.800 --> 00:04:33.199 You have something. I knew it from the start, didn't you. 61 00:04:33.319 --> 00:04:35.079 Low rage. 62 00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:38.360 And rages? 63 00:04:38.439 --> 00:04:52.160 Okay, it's about the com on hold together and when 64 00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:53.439 it charges, break for the wall. 65 00:05:00.920 --> 00:05:07.680 Whose head could I give you that would satisfy this fury? 66 00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:14.439 The entire Roman armies too much. The General will do amazing. 67 00:05:17.959 --> 00:05:19.199 I need only give it a push. 68 00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:21.199 We'll make it out of. 69 00:05:25.480 --> 00:05:34.720 Chance. On the mausoleum floor, bloodstains the stream belonged to Maximus. 70 00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:36.720 Now I give it to you. 71 00:05:38.279 --> 00:05:45.519 There from people are not free. 72 00:05:45.800 --> 00:05:47.040 I was only now. 73 00:05:47.240 --> 00:05:49.319 I will control and impotul. 74 00:05:51.040 --> 00:05:55.199 Waste a generation of young men for their vanity, Break 75 00:05:55.279 --> 00:06:12.720 them up. There is a mausoleum clung the god fuck. 76 00:06:23.079 --> 00:06:24.959 You know how some sequels take such a left turn 77 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:27.519 from the original that they stand alone as their own piece, 78 00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:32.279 like Aliens or Gremlins two. Just a total unwillingness on 79 00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:35.240 the part of the filmmakers to repeat themselves. Well that 80 00:06:35.279 --> 00:06:39.360 ain't Gladiator too. Oh no, this is Escape from La 81 00:06:39.399 --> 00:06:42.720 to Gladiators Escape from New York. Not that I'm comparing 82 00:06:42.839 --> 00:06:46.000 Escape from New York to Gladiator. There is no comparison there. 83 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:49.560 Whatever misgivings I have about Gladiator, it is great spectacle, 84 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:53.920 particularly seeing the Colosseum so well realized. It's breathtaking, and 85 00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:58.360 there are some great performances. RUSSELLA. Rock at his most fierce, 86 00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:02.240 you know, Russell Crow's movie star alter ego. Russ LaRock, 87 00:07:02.360 --> 00:07:04.439 Pop sensation don't you here he is. 88 00:07:04.920 --> 00:07:08.399 People sound crazy, but I just want to be more. 89 00:07:11.519 --> 00:07:14.480 Well, he's fucking great as Maximus, and it had Oliver 90 00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:18.800 red in his final performance. I'm a sucker for Oliver Reed. 91 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:21.319 I now know that all of those great old, hard 92 00:07:21.399 --> 00:07:25.600 drinking English Thespians were probably more insufferable alcoholics and less 93 00:07:25.639 --> 00:07:28.480 the bad boys breaking all the rules. But Oliver Reid 94 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:31.240 seemed the only one fully committed to it, and his 95 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:35.759 performances are just heart stopping. I love you, Oliver Reid. 96 00:07:36.040 --> 00:07:37.360 I wouldn't want to be in a room with you. 97 00:07:37.800 --> 00:07:40.079 I certainly don't want to see the Eagles talons. 98 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:41.160 You're too young. 99 00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:43.600 I can't tell you this is a family show. Fuck, 100 00:07:43.680 --> 00:07:47.560 yeah it is. There are some differences between Gladiator and Gladiator, too, 101 00:07:47.639 --> 00:07:50.399 like Maximus never had to fight a bunch of cartoon primates. 102 00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:52.319 I don't want to give a blanket statement like the 103 00:07:52.360 --> 00:07:55.439 CGI is shit, because there are individual shots that are 104 00:07:55.519 --> 00:07:59.800 just gorgeous, photorealistic even, but the rest of them are infuriating. 105 00:08:00.120 --> 00:08:04.279 This movie cost two hundred and fifty million dollars. In 106 00:08:04.399 --> 00:08:08.519 twenty twenty four, when all the giants the major studios 107 00:08:08.800 --> 00:08:13.439 are foundering, they're going all in with this. I'm not 108 00:08:13.519 --> 00:08:15.879 rooting against the movie, Don't get me wrong. Hollywood needs 109 00:08:15.879 --> 00:08:20.759 every helping hand, but this two hundred and fifty million dollars. 110 00:08:21.120 --> 00:08:23.399 Can we all admit that Ridley Scott made about five 111 00:08:23.480 --> 00:08:27.000 good movies. They're all visual works of art, no doubt. 112 00:08:27.160 --> 00:08:29.959 But we've got Alien Blade Runner. I'd go to the 113 00:08:29.959 --> 00:08:34.120 mat for Legend, Thelma and Luise. Maybe Blackhawk down. That's it, 114 00:08:34.360 --> 00:08:37.600 and he continues the trend here. Gladiator started off with 115 00:08:37.639 --> 00:08:39.879 a battle in the forest. Well this one starts with 116 00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:42.600 a naval battle, and instead of a Roman general as 117 00:08:42.679 --> 00:08:45.159 our hero, he's the villain. Our hero is one of 118 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:48.000 the defenders of Numidia on the African coast, So we're 119 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:51.159 going to have an African hero this time. Nope, White 120 00:08:51.279 --> 00:08:54.200 Savior trope is in effect. God, the tropes are piling 121 00:08:54.279 --> 00:08:57.080 up here, just like Dances with Wolves and Avatar and 122 00:08:57.279 --> 00:09:00.399 hell Billy Jack. When the big bad Empire comes calling, 123 00:09:00.440 --> 00:09:03.679 they have to find one of their own defiant. Also, 124 00:09:03.840 --> 00:09:07.799 they killed his wife, this time with arrows. Watch out Rome, 125 00:09:08.159 --> 00:09:11.759 watch out Reed. Richard's that's right, Mando man Pedro Pascal 126 00:09:11.879 --> 00:09:12.759 is the evil general. 127 00:09:12.799 --> 00:09:13.519 But wait a. 128 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:17.320 Minute, he's actually a pretty good guy. He's only following orders. 129 00:09:17.720 --> 00:09:20.799 That excuse lets him off the hook for decimating sovereign nations. 130 00:09:20.919 --> 00:09:24.360 Plus we love Pedro Pascal, he can't be bad. Once again, 131 00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:28.440 the villain is the Emperor or emperors. Oh, spend too 132 00:09:28.519 --> 00:09:31.799 much time in the Senate here, So big battle, dead 133 00:09:31.799 --> 00:09:35.120 wife slavery, forced to fight in an exhibition bought by 134 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:38.279 a gladiator trader and political wheeler dealer fights his way 135 00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:42.240 to fame revenge. Sound fucking familiar. A quarter century later 136 00:09:42.320 --> 00:09:44.799 and a quarter of a billion dollars and this is 137 00:09:44.799 --> 00:09:47.480 what we're given. This is what we've been waiting for. 138 00:09:47.759 --> 00:09:52.000 But it has naval battles in the coliseum. Yes, I know, 139 00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:54.440 they actually happened, and it was cool to see them 140 00:09:54.480 --> 00:09:57.840 re enacted here for a few minutes. Then the sharks 141 00:09:57.919 --> 00:10:01.120 showed up. The sharks someho now caught in the wild 142 00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:04.120 and held in captivity and transported and kept in an 143 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:06.960 enclosure that allowed them a free range of motion, so 144 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:11.120 they wouldn't just drown the sharks. The main problem here 145 00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:14.320 is the main problem with both films. We gotta bring 146 00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:18.799 down the Emperor. None of these fictional characters ever brought 147 00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:22.080 down the emperor over Rome. Why does it have to 148 00:10:22.159 --> 00:10:25.080 be that again. It can't be the hero just fighting 149 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:29.080 for himself or some potential positive goal for others. Gotta 150 00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:33.759 be revenge and then coincidentally his actions destroy a corrupt empire, 151 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:37.639 freeing all. That's how the first film ended. And now 152 00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:40.480 it's twenty five years later and Rome is worse than before, 153 00:10:40.799 --> 00:10:43.879 which is a problem for all legacy sequels. They obliterate 154 00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:46.799 the accomplishments of the first film. They could address that 155 00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:49.480 here in gladiat or two, but instead they ignore it 156 00:10:49.519 --> 00:10:52.399 so they can have the same goddamn plot contrivances. And 157 00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:55.120 here's the thing that taking down the whole system trope 158 00:10:55.399 --> 00:10:57.759 is the equivalent of the big blue light in the 159 00:10:57.799 --> 00:11:01.559 sky of all superhero movies. Yes, we have a tangible villain, 160 00:11:01.600 --> 00:11:04.200 but we gotta close that portal. We're gonna shut down 161 00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:07.039 that machine or we'll all be killed. This film does 162 00:11:07.080 --> 00:11:11.679 have one advantage over the first. Denzel He's fucking great here. 163 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:16.279 Anytime you put him in a period piece or historical drama, comedy, whatever, 164 00:11:16.399 --> 00:11:19.440 he's gonna elevate it. He is so fucking charming here 165 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:22.320 and just locked into what the movie wanted to be 166 00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:25.840 a political pot boiler. He's way more fearsome than any 167 00:11:25.960 --> 00:11:30.120 dude riding a cartoon rhinoceros. That happens in this movie. 168 00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:36.039 A man rides a rhinoceros and it's a cartoon anyway. 169 00:11:36.120 --> 00:11:39.120 This was shot digitally, so could somebody lift Denzel out 170 00:11:39.159 --> 00:11:41.919 of gladiat Or two and insert him into the original. 171 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:44.000 I think it can be done, and I think it 172 00:11:44.039 --> 00:11:46.320 will solve my problems with that movie, because you're not 173 00:11:46.360 --> 00:11:48.519 bringing down a roam with a sword. You're doing it 174 00:11:48.519 --> 00:11:52.919 through manipulating corruption, and Denzel's character could have facilitated that there, 175 00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:55.159 and I totally would have bought it. Nothing's gonna snaff 176 00:11:55.159 --> 00:11:56.919 anyone from seeing this movie, and I'm not trying to 177 00:11:56.919 --> 00:11:59.519 stop you either. I'm saying, go see all the movies, 178 00:11:59.679 --> 00:12:02.240 all the poly Shore putting out a new movie, go 179 00:12:02.279 --> 00:12:05.799 see it. We gotta save cinema. Zaslab killed its wife 180 00:12:06.120 --> 00:12:10.200 and now nothing will stop it from getting revenge. As 181 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:12.720 an aside, if you're of Italian descent and you have 182 00:12:12.799 --> 00:12:16.480 tattoos and one of them is an SPQR, what's wrong 183 00:12:16.519 --> 00:12:19.159 with you? If Ireland had been the center of civilization 184 00:12:19.240 --> 00:12:21.440 at some point, or had a marker or a slogan 185 00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:24.919 declaring everything theirs. Do you not think that symbol or 186 00:12:24.919 --> 00:12:26.600 phrase would be on my body right now? 187 00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:27.120 Anyway? 188 00:12:27.159 --> 00:12:29.559 If you've got a jones for Rome, a need for 189 00:12:29.720 --> 00:12:34.200 ancient Italian drama, you can see some pretty fucking historically 190 00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:38.159 accurate ancient Rome in the series Rome that was back 191 00:12:38.200 --> 00:12:40.440 on HBO and ran for two seasons, and it was 192 00:12:40.440 --> 00:12:44.159 co created by John fucking' milius, the writer of Apocalypse 193 00:12:44.200 --> 00:12:46.720 Now and director of Conan the Barbarian, and it is 194 00:12:46.759 --> 00:12:50.320 peopled with an amazing cast of mostly British actors. If 195 00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:52.919 I Claudius taught us anything, Rome makes more sense as 196 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:57.519 an empire with Shakespearean trained actors. That's a scientific fact. Okay, 197 00:12:57.559 --> 00:13:00.480 we're moving on. But what if you love sort swinging 198 00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:04.200 actioners but don't love columns. Maybe you're sick of tunics 199 00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:06.679 and you don't have time for the dead wife trope? 200 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:09.720 Hit at HP, you a doll? 201 00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:11.600 That ship k be go? 202 00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:21.000 It's thank you HP, David Letterman phrase here, Oh my goodness, ripley, 203 00:13:21.399 --> 00:13:24.720 this O what a hell of a pick. Maybe you 204 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:26.720 saw this mac in the day and forgot about it. 205 00:13:26.840 --> 00:13:29.080 More likely you've never seen it at all. I have 206 00:13:29.080 --> 00:13:30.960 a soft spot in my heart for this film from 207 00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:34.200 nineteen ninety nine. This is the thirteenth Warrior. 208 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:36.960 I am Ala. 209 00:13:37.960 --> 00:13:42.240 I met a beautiful woman who belonged to another man. 210 00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:46.639 I was banished from my home and from all that 211 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:50.080 I knew a country far to the north. 212 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:53.840 No moment he comes to ask bull far for helping. 213 00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:56.840 I'm leaking at all, but his father's kingdom is under attack. 214 00:13:57.240 --> 00:14:01.559 She says, thirteen men, yeah, yeah, had the first time. 215 00:14:06.120 --> 00:14:10.240 He says the thirteenth man's been known the third man's 216 00:14:10.320 --> 00:14:11.600 boy issue. 217 00:14:12.879 --> 00:14:17.720 I am not a warrior, you will be. 218 00:14:19.200 --> 00:14:23.039 They are demons, deep like a life head, like God. 219 00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:26.799 There it is said they keep the dead. 220 00:14:27.279 --> 00:14:28.600 I saw the global. 221 00:14:30.039 --> 00:14:33.159 My other's father always warned of it, said it. 222 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:34.879 Was a eight of all times. 223 00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:37.639 Prepare yourselves. 224 00:14:38.759 --> 00:14:40.879 Low. God was my father? 225 00:14:43.879 --> 00:14:46.919 O where who was to my mother, my sisters and 226 00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:47.840 my brothers. 227 00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:52.519 You're not also bhalla. 228 00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:56.279 When the rain they lived? 229 00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:04.960 Remember my pretentious classical education, Well that included a heaping 230 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:08.879 helping of Beowulf, the epic poem. I believe that it 231 00:15:08.919 --> 00:15:11.799 was Francis Baron Gumer's edition that I read. That was 232 00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:15.519 his translation. It wouldn't get a proper lyrical translation until 233 00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:18.399 nineteen ninety nine. That's when Seamus Hainey did a more 234 00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:21.120 poetical version of it. There was a modern day sequel 235 00:15:21.120 --> 00:15:24.320 written called Grendel. From the monster's perspective, there was that 236 00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:28.360 god awful Robert Semchis Uncanny Valley fest Beowulf, which actually 237 00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:30.840 had a really good script by Roger Avery and Neil Gaiman. 238 00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:34.639 Unfortunately the film was a waxwork nightmare. So anyway, I 239 00:15:34.759 --> 00:15:36.919 was devouring all the Beowolf I could find when I 240 00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:39.759 happened upon a novel called Eaters of the Dead by 241 00:15:39.799 --> 00:15:45.080 Michael Crichton. Jurassic Park Westworld er Michael Crichton. The book 242 00:15:45.120 --> 00:15:48.159 was from nineteen seventy six and was inspired, if that's 243 00:15:48.200 --> 00:15:50.559 the right word, by a fellow professor who had lumped 244 00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:55.240 Beowulf into what he called the bores of literature. Determined 245 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:57.120 to prove that guy wrong, Crichton decided to show that 246 00:15:57.159 --> 00:16:01.000 Beowulf was indeed exciting. So, then, being Michael Crichton, he 247 00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:04.440 conceived of a theme park with Nordic warriors. Now I'm kidding, 248 00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:06.639 but it would track. Actually, he took the story of 249 00:16:06.679 --> 00:16:10.360 Ahmad Ebin Fadlan, a real person who was an ambassador 250 00:16:10.360 --> 00:16:12.759 for the Khaliph of Baghdad and was sent north to 251 00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:16.600 live with Vikings in like ninety seventy five AD. He 252 00:16:16.679 --> 00:16:19.919 then combined that with the Beowulf legend and it's a 253 00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:24.080 weird mashup that works at least for me. Like Gangbusters. 254 00:16:24.600 --> 00:16:26.720 Twenty years later, we got a name change in John 255 00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:31.000 McTiernan behind the camera and it's the Thirteenth Warrior. Spanish 256 00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:35.000 actor Antonio Banderis plays Ahmad Ebin Fadlan, with some backup 257 00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:38.440 coming from Omar fucking Sharif in the book and the film. 258 00:16:38.519 --> 00:16:40.919 Fudlan is taken in by a band of Vikings as 259 00:16:40.919 --> 00:16:43.320 they are called to help King Rothgard defend his hall 260 00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:47.000 against supernatural creatures known as the Vendol. It ends up 261 00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:49.320 being a bit Scooby doo. Now let's see who the 262 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:52.720 real Vendol is. And there are some laughable moments from 263 00:16:52.759 --> 00:16:55.879 the screenplay, but overall, this is how you do a 264 00:16:55.919 --> 00:16:59.360 gritty action sword and blood and hacking and slashing. Man. 265 00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:04.519 It's on die hard predator McTiernan orchestrating muddy chaos amongst 266 00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:09.279 the Vikings with gorgeous Antonio Benderis fighting beside them. Everyone's 267 00:17:09.319 --> 00:17:12.000 loving the Vikings these days, right, Well, you can Binge, 268 00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:14.240 hours and hours and hours of them. We'll give this 269 00:17:14.279 --> 00:17:16.759 film ninety minutes. It's one hundred and two minutes, but 270 00:17:16.799 --> 00:17:18.920 if you haven't dug the first ninety you can tap out. 271 00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:21.640 Then I won't tap out. I love this film. Oh, 272 00:17:21.720 --> 00:17:25.039 come on, it's worth ribbing. When Antonio and Benderis announces 273 00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:26.960 how he learned their language, where did you. 274 00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:29.400 Learn how a language? 275 00:17:31.240 --> 00:17:35.279 I listen, all right, thirteenth Warrior. I'm not gonna say 276 00:17:35.279 --> 00:17:36.680 anything else about it. I want you to see it. 277 00:17:36.680 --> 00:17:40.000 If you haven't seen it, we are moving on and 278 00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:41.400 it's going to be a bit of a downer, but 279 00:17:41.559 --> 00:17:44.599 it's gonna end kind of joyously, so fair a warning. 280 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:49.400 My late wife Jessica was a fucking marvel in everything 281 00:17:49.480 --> 00:17:54.119 she did, just a whirlwind of creativity and productivity. For 282 00:17:54.200 --> 00:17:58.279 her fiftieth birthday, we planned a huge surprise event for her, 283 00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:02.200 and by we, I mean Jessica. She planned and organized 284 00:18:02.200 --> 00:18:04.920 and executed the whole thing. I helped, but it was 285 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:08.079 all her, which is exactly how she wanted it. Prior 286 00:18:08.119 --> 00:18:10.839 to the festivity, she sent up questionnaires asking all of 287 00:18:10.839 --> 00:18:13.680 the guests their likes and dislikes so she could personalize 288 00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:16.920 it to their taste. If your favorite dessert was peacan pie, 289 00:18:16.920 --> 00:18:19.039 you were getting peacan pie at the end of the evening. 290 00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:22.559 She also had questions about songs that might sum you up, 291 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:26.079 songs that might make appropriate entrance music. I didn't think 292 00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:27.920 much of it. I don't think anyone else did. But 293 00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:30.720 when everyone arrived that night, there was a step in 294 00:18:30.759 --> 00:18:33.720 repeat that they had to walk with a photographer snapping photos, 295 00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:38.160 and every single person had their own personal anthem playing. 296 00:18:38.880 --> 00:19:04.599 Here was mine, that's give me the prize, the Kurgan's theme, 297 00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:07.279 and it's Queen, and the movie is Highlander. 298 00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:11.519 And from another time comes a man of great power. 299 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:14.559 Talk funny Nash where you're from, lots of different places, 300 00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:17.319 A warrior of incredible strength. 301 00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:20.519 You have the devil in you. We've been kinsman twenty years. 302 00:19:20.759 --> 00:19:24.119 Connor MacLeod was my kinsman. I don't know who you are. 303 00:19:24.440 --> 00:19:27.680 Because you were born different. Man will feel you try 304 00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:53.079 to drive your way. 305 00:19:44.319 --> 00:19:47.000 A man uncertain of his future. What you got? 306 00:19:47.079 --> 00:19:49.359 Hear, Brenda, because a guy who's been creeping around since 307 00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:59.160 only seventeen hundred and haunted by his past. I want 308 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:02.720 some answers. 309 00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:06.480 You cannot die McLeod. 310 00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:10.039 I am Connor McLeod of the Clan McLeod. I was 311 00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:12.640 born in fifteen eighteen in the village of Glen Finnan 312 00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:13.960 on the shores of flock Shield. 313 00:20:16.200 --> 00:20:16.680 And I am. 314 00:20:16.599 --> 00:20:21.960 Immort, a hero who is about to face his greatest challenge. 315 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:25.880 You will always be weaker than I. 316 00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:28.400 What can you tell me about a seven but lunatic 317 00:20:28.440 --> 00:20:30.599 hacking away with a broadsword at one o'clock in the morning, 318 00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:32.119 New York City in nineteen eighty five. 319 00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:40.440 Not much, for he is not alone. 320 00:20:40.599 --> 00:21:07.559 In the end, it can be only one. 321 00:21:00.279 --> 00:21:03.039 Highlander. There can be only one. 322 00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:15.160 We are where the princess are? You never survival to 323 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:16.359 be the rule. 324 00:21:20.039 --> 00:21:22.000 We're gonna talk a lot about the Kuragan here, but 325 00:21:22.039 --> 00:21:24.559 first we gotta talk about Connor McLoud of Clan macloud 326 00:21:24.839 --> 00:21:28.680 from the fifteen hundreds in the Highlands of Scotland. Highlands 327 00:21:28.799 --> 00:21:31.799 of Scotland. Thus he's a Highlander. It's funny because the 328 00:21:31.799 --> 00:21:35.000 word just kind of means immortal now, like they're all Highlanders. 329 00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:37.880 I guess the every vampire can be called a Dracula. 330 00:21:37.960 --> 00:21:40.240 Rule is in effect here. Before we go further, this 331 00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:42.559 is time sensitive. Stop what you're doing and go to 332 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:46.559 the Wikipedia page for Highlander and read the synopsis. Someone 333 00:21:46.599 --> 00:21:50.160 has a vivid and hilarious imagination and the gatekeepers haven't 334 00:21:50.200 --> 00:21:51.960 caught it yet. But that's not gonna last, so get 335 00:21:51.960 --> 00:21:54.880 over there and read it immediately. And no, it wasn't me, 336 00:21:56.200 --> 00:21:58.960 or was it? Anyway you know the story. Connor is 337 00:21:58.960 --> 00:22:01.319 an immortal, one of many that dot the globe. They 338 00:22:01.319 --> 00:22:03.680 all feel a pull toward one another, and the more 339 00:22:03.759 --> 00:22:07.200 ruthless among them are lopping off their heads and absorbing 340 00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:10.960 their life forces, growing stronger. Connor, the Scottish Highlander, is 341 00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:13.920 played by Christoph Lambert, a French actor who was born 342 00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:16.359 in New York and raised in Switzerland. His character is 343 00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:19.839 aided by Juan Sanchez via Lobos Ramirez, who is actually 344 00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:23.079 Egyptian and played by Scottish actor Sean Connery. We just 345 00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:26.759 had Antonio banderis playing Iranian, so we're going to give 346 00:22:26.759 --> 00:22:29.680 the nineteen eighty six casting people a pass here. Plus 347 00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:34.000 it's Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery. They're both great. Lambert's 348 00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:37.839 weirdo amalgamation of accents somehow actually works for an immortal 349 00:22:37.880 --> 00:22:40.839 who's lived dozens of lives and dozens of locales around 350 00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:43.440 the globe. It's kind of like that language, Edward James 351 00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:46.400 almost comes up with for Gaff and Blade Runner one 352 00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:49.519 of only five good Ridley Scott movies. So they have 353 00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:52.319 to stop the Kurgan. He's the villain, and what a 354 00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:55.400 fucking villain. You heard the song and you know the actor, 355 00:22:55.480 --> 00:22:59.160 the fucking amazing Clancy Brown. Has he ever been bad? 356 00:22:59.720 --> 00:22:59.920 No? 357 00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:03.599 Has any film he's been in become instantly elevated? 358 00:23:03.880 --> 00:23:04.200 Fuck? 359 00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:07.440 Yes, you loved him in Starship Troopers, you love him 360 00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:09.599 in Shawshank and he's a dick in that. He's the 361 00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:13.759 best Lex luthor ever. Sorry, Michael Rosenbaum. He was Surder, 362 00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:17.400 the god who destroyed Asgard and Thor Ragnarok. The man 363 00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:21.440 is mister Crabs on SpongeBob SquarePants. He was a major 364 00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:24.640 member of the Hong Kong Cavaliers, that's Buckeru Banzai's group 365 00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:27.400 of crusading rock and rollers. He was Lyndon Johnson on 366 00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:32.079 The Crown, and most recently and fucking amazingly, he was 367 00:23:32.119 --> 00:23:37.279 Salvator Falcone on that Penguin television series. Here as the Kurgan, 368 00:23:37.480 --> 00:23:41.400 he absolutely terrifies while simultaneously giving us one of the 369 00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:45.559 most delicious villains ever. Speaking of Rome, if you ever 370 00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:48.200 read the novelization, you'll know that the Kurgan was a 371 00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:51.079 happy participant of the sacking of Rome while he was 372 00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:54.720 running around with the Visigoths and the Vandals. I won't 373 00:23:54.839 --> 00:23:58.880 to be a cowboy, different vandals, but in the same ballpark, 374 00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:01.960 because the modern Kurgh, the nineteen eighty six version chooses 375 00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:04.960 a total punk rock persona complete with safety pins through 376 00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:09.200 the scar in his neck, and it is amazing, though 377 00:24:09.319 --> 00:24:12.519 not the original intention of the character. As originally written, 378 00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:16.559 the Kurgan would be a total dandy bowler hat bespoke suit. 379 00:24:17.240 --> 00:24:21.079 That would have been interesting, particularly on Clancy Brown. Not 380 00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:23.799 that I don't fucking love what we got. Quick side note. 381 00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:25.960 Back in nineteen ninety four, I was at a convention 382 00:24:26.039 --> 00:24:28.400 at the Shrine in Los Angeles and I actually bumped 383 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:30.960 into Clancy Brown. It took me a second to recognize it. 384 00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:32.640 I mean, he was very polite because he was actually 385 00:24:32.720 --> 00:24:36.160 the one that bumped into me. But I was honestly crestfawn, 386 00:24:36.960 --> 00:24:38.599 not because it wasn't a thrill to meet him. 387 00:24:38.599 --> 00:24:39.000 It was. 388 00:24:39.240 --> 00:24:41.680 I actually cherished the memory. But it turns out he 389 00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:43.599 and I are the exact same height, and he was 390 00:24:43.640 --> 00:24:46.720 a giant in my mind. Further, I actually think I 391 00:24:46.759 --> 00:24:48.960 had a weight advantage at that time in my life, 392 00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:51.480 so I came away thinking I could take the Kurgan. 393 00:24:51.720 --> 00:24:57.200 The prize is rightfully mine. Gregory Whyden, former Firefighter, writes 394 00:24:57.279 --> 00:25:01.240 Highlander as his thesis screenplay in film. The original is 395 00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:04.119 way more arranging and got way more mythology, and it 396 00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:06.839 connor fathers many children over the years, and there's a 397 00:25:06.920 --> 00:25:10.839 whole bunch of unneeded detours. But it's a thesis script. 398 00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:13.240 It gets snapped up and handed over to Larry Ferguson 399 00:25:13.240 --> 00:25:15.839 and Peter Bellwood, who pare it down and admittedly give 400 00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:18.039 us the masterpiece we have now, although there are only 401 00:25:18.200 --> 00:25:21.000