Speaker 1: In the year two thousand and seven fourteen, a new
squad of operatives was chosen by the College of Illusion.
These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at
every opportunity. Today, still working together because really, who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can hire
the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: FELSONI, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag and Jesse Wicks as Bill Cuilance, Nico Rodriguez
as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing Tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 3: When last we left our heroes, Oh my god. The
fools made it to cross In where they met a
new friend named Bradley the Turtle. He had a rope
that he tied all of his gear to and won
really long trail, and he was trying to get into
a speakeasy down in the underbelly of the town. So
they went and they talked to Granny Fickle at the
stable and asked her about the speakeasy. She gave them
directions so they collected Bradley again and went to the speakeasy,
where they met a couple of elves, one who was
a singer, one who was the bartendres, who took care
of them and summoned them up some foo or some drinks.
Speaker 2: Eddie taught me conjure booze.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Eddie learned conju booze and then turned Bill invisible.
Bill went down to the cellar part of the already
underground speakeasy to find that the the tunnel had been
collapsed on one side. There was a magic room there,
and even though he was invisible, he decided to break
a rung off the ladder, lighted on fire to have
some kind of torch light and then touch the magic
glowing touch the magic glowing roun, which then summoned a
dwarf lady who appeared to be staying down there somehow,
and she came, and then Bill put his torch light
out and then went back upstairs told everyone what happened.
He did not talk to the dwarf at all, and
then he played a ballad, and then they went to
the inn which is called Smokey's Alehouse and Inn Tavern,
where they crushed for the night, and that is what happened.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think we were gonna in the morning
go see Wrigley at the travel agency or whatever, him
and his brother Squiggly, Wriggly and Squiggly, because that was
gonna be our He was gonna have help us out
with transportation if we said leopard skin, Leopard Skinner sent
us yep.
Speaker 3: And Squiggily doesn't live here in town. He lives in Carcosa.
He was Bradley's friend from Carcosa and sent Bradley to
talk to Wriggly.
Speaker 2: And did we have an idea of where the scroll was?
Speaker 3: Nope?
Speaker 4: I mean, in fairness, the last time we were looking something,
we had the literal location and we didn't have an
idea where it was.
Speaker 3: So yeah, your current quest log in the order of importance,
at least from my point of views, find the infinite
scroll of Conjuration, find out what's happening with the conjured
armies that are lining the borders Anthronoxus and the enclave
with the warlocks. Elmer's Goblins are on strike. And fine
six socks, six pairs of socks, all of different, each
pair of a different fabric flavor, no fabric, different ffort.
I mean, yeah, I guess if wants to chew on them. Yeah,
there we go.
Speaker 4: The different kinds of fur count is different fabrics. Yes,
could solve this problem right now.
Speaker 3: They'd all be pink.
Speaker 4: It would all be pink, he says, fabrics, not collars.
Speaker 5: Maybe different.
Speaker 3: So you guys wake up in the morning at the
Smokey's alehousehouse.
Speaker 2: Hm, well, I.
Speaker 5: Beautiful swampy morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Then we go out, we go on down to
the common room and find a mob bucket or whatever
that's empty and just condre booze in it.
Speaker 3: To start the morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think got the bucket?
Speaker 3: What kind of booze?
Speaker 2: Ummmm, well, I mean traditionally it's been meat in a bucket.
That's the right glass for it.
Speaker 5: That's the right glass for it.
Speaker 3: There you go, it's the right bucket for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna sip on that.
Speaker 5: How many times can you do that? Eddie?
Speaker 2: You could do it more? I suppose I guess I
should roll for it. Huh yep, okay, yeah, that's a ten.
You want want to grab a bucket? Yeah, that's an element.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Say you could always light a cigarette to
brew your drinks. But it turns out you don't eat it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll conjure, I'll conjure. Were like a bucket a
boost too on the floor, criss cross apple sauce.
Speaker 5: Drink my bucket of need.
Speaker 2: All right, So we got to figure out what's going
on with the Conjuration armies while they're posting up at
the border raring for a fight, and we got to
find out where the infinite scroll is. I feel like,
you know, posing as evokers worked pretty well in evocation,
so maybe we pose as controvers Yeah.
Speaker 4: Sure, sure, I'll do my best. I'm not very good
at home.
Speaker 5: Actor yell barred at all.
Speaker 4: Well not, no, I'm not.
Speaker 2: But the first thing we are. The only contact we've
got here is that Rigley. Also, that speakeasy seemed like,
you know, there might be people that know some stuff
down there, and we might have to go back and
chat them up down there too. But meantime, I think
we should go see Wrigley first.
Speaker 5: All right, Eventually we should check out that dwarf situation.
Speaker 4: Did we bring the egg?
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, it's in the cart in Eddie's bathtub with
a bunch of hairy water.
Speaker 4: You are the Conjuration, Maage as well liked.
Speaker 2: There aren't very many of them. They mostly just conjure
stuff and let the stuff do the work. Right, Yep,
But I don't think they're disliked.
Speaker 3: They are specifically liked, they were told because they give
food free food and water for food and water everyone.
Speaker 4: Well, I could change into one of theirs and pretend
to be a conjuration mage to you know, maybe you've
got some easier answers, but then we would have to
give away food and water, and I don't like giving
away stuff.
Speaker 2: I didn't give away booze.
Speaker 4: That's true.
Speaker 2: I can make eggs.
Speaker 4: Now, you can make eggs. Months. I've been asking, Well,
maybe you talk me to it, he said.
Speaker 3: Maybe he hadn't decided yet.
Speaker 2: Well, let's go see Wrigley first. He was down by
the docks right over by.
Speaker 5: Yep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we'll head on that way and check out
his travel agency.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you head down to the travel agency and
it is a decently sized, like two story shack, right,
real rickety walls, real rickety door. The pathway is just overgrown,
but there are just probably twenty five boats out there,
connected to different docks and piers that launch out into
a deeper part of the water. And he's got an
open sign that's on the door, but it's just nailed
to the door, so it just always says open, and
it's in marker. Well, you know, it's an impaint. I
guess markers. But they have sticks of glue but no markers.
Speaker 5: That's that's just ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Head on end.
Speaker 3: All right, all right, you head on in and you
see there in front of you a half orc and
he stands up. You know, well, I'll be a hoot
and holler. Welcome to Wrigley's. How can I help you?
Speaker 2: Oh? Are you?
Speaker 3: I am?
Speaker 2: Oh? We have a mutual acquaintance a fella by the
name a Leopard skin.
Speaker 3: Nerd oh, Leopard Skinner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Senna said, you can help us get around this here, bog. See,
we're not from We're from out of town.
Speaker 3: Argue, where are you from?
Speaker 2: We're international travelers.
Speaker 3: Oh well, I'll be a caterpillar behind. Welcome to the
Conjuration nation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, thank you. It's uh, it's nice.
Speaker 3: Are you for the illusionation like Leopard Skinner.
Speaker 2: Was most recently?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well then I believe you and I'll share a secret.
Speaker 5: Am I right?
Speaker 3: He gives you a really big wink.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool, I don't know what
the secret is.
Speaker 3: Are you here on official duty?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're here on official duty. See. Uh any
direction you can point us in would help too, because
we're well, I'm trying to figure out why. Uh you know,
there's them armies. Oh right, I'm ready to fight.
Speaker 3: That's a good question, isn't it.
Speaker 2: And where the conjuration leadership might be located.
Speaker 3: Oh, well, the conjuration leaderships currently, most of them are
on the border over there. You got a map with you?
Speaker 2: Uh, probably probably.
Speaker 3: All right, we'll up on the northeastern side. You can
see the border goes a whole way down right up
towards the moving now where the Dairy Coast starts. That's
pretty much where the leadership is currently sitting at. On
the other side, the southwest side, near Carcosa, you got
another set of leadership. But it really depends on what
you're looking for and who you're looking for.
Speaker 2: Suppose it does, well, we're hoping for like, uh, whoever's
in charge of the infinite scroll of conjurations that we
can chat with them.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna assume then you're looking proudly for the
northeast side, seeing that that's where the only land armies
really pose a threat. Everything on the southwest side is
you know, getting near the edge of the world, right,
so pretty much just have ships to worry about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that seems that seems like it makes sense. So
I guess we'll have to go check out that way first.
But anyway, our mutual buddy Leopard, he said that you'd
help us get around the swamp. You got some kind
of transportation for us?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I do. I can help you. We got
a whole bunch of boats wrangled outside. You want gonna
take a look, see.
Speaker 2: Yeah it, we'll take a look. See, yeah, wonderful.
Speaker 3: How many is you?
Speaker 2: Well, there's the three of us currently, although we we
will have hopefully another operative joining us eventually, and then
two wagons.
Speaker 3: Three people and two.
Speaker 2: Wagons attendant livestock.
Speaker 3: So so at least four mules or horses.
Speaker 2: Meals on mine or just meals or horses. I can
never can tell difference. Donkeys, yeah, donkeys?
Speaker 3: Oh all right, Well that sounds like a stubborn way
to travel. But all right, well that seems like a
lot of cargo for three men.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, yeah, with a.
Speaker 3: Fourth companion joining soon. Maybe your fourth companion is a
big one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's the explanation for it. Actually, that is
exactly it.
Speaker 3: All right, then, well, uh go ahead and follow me
on here through the doorway. Watch your head. The doorway
gets short. It's not short at all. But he's the
giant half fork and it's probably about the same height
as the fur bag as oo rag. So he ducks
his head as he steps through, and I'm probably hitting
all kinds of shit from soon, and hits some wooden
wind chimes on his way out.
Speaker 2: Your antler's caught your seeing fan. Damn, what do they just.
Speaker 3: In the wind? So he walks out to the water
and motions towards a kind of raft looking thing. It's
got short walls on each side, but it's not really
a boat the way you all have seen boats from
your area. This kind of just like a large raft,
but it looks big enough to house the two wagons.
Should you take this one?
Speaker 6: He's like, oh, well, this one is what we call
the afterbirths. To find we well and good people here
are crossing.
Speaker 3: We named them all.
Speaker 2: Why why why?
Speaker 4: Goodness?
Speaker 2: You know what?
Speaker 4: Good's a word?
Speaker 2: Adequate? I think anything a little a little more comfortable.
Speaker 3: Well, yep, we've got the big girth over here.
Speaker 2: The big girth. Yeah, our choices are the after births
are the big girth.
Speaker 4: You do seem more like a big girth kind of guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, uh, let's let's go with the big girth.
I suppose.
Speaker 3: I mean, if you're feeling really fancy, you've got the
throbbing overlord.
Speaker 2: Oh actually, how did you know that? That does sound interesting?
Speaker 4: Oh that does sound nice.
Speaker 2: Tell me more.
Speaker 4: Would you like to.
Speaker 3: Take a look?
Speaker 2: See, Yeah, let's take a look.
Speaker 3: Let's go this way, and starts walking towards this actually
looks kind of like a boat. It's bigger. It comes
up off the water like this. One's gonna be a
little bit more difficult get to get through some of
those smaller canals if you're up there in the swamp.
But if you stick to the deeper waters, you ain't
gonna have no problem.
Speaker 2: The big girth there, that's gonna make it through the
smaller canals.
Speaker 3: Okay, the big girth can Yeah, they're all flat bottoms
over there.
Speaker 2: I guess the throbbing war Lord.
Speaker 3: Has got a kind of a deeper bow.
Speaker 2: Deep draft. Hell, well, I think we probably won't not
good at boats, the shallow boats. That's all right. We
come from a port town. I think I think we're
I think we'll I think we'll go with the big girth.
Speaker 3: All right, then, Well, I know you all friends, I
know you guys come from you know, the wink wink place.
But I'm still gonna have to take some money just
for a deposit on this. If you bring it back,
I'll be able to refund you most of it. You know,
might have any damages or wear tear they'll need to
take care of.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that makes sense. How much of a depositly talking, well.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to ask you to part with two
hundred and fifty gold.
Speaker 2: We're gonna talk that over it. It's just a second,
all right.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna come stand over here next to this salamander.
I'm gonna poke it for a little bit and let
me know when you're ready.
Speaker 2: All right, you poke that, sald Man. It will be
just a second. I'm just gonna turn away her assy
and just count that out real quick. At all.
Speaker 4: My dear is not even here to be mad.
Speaker 3: And you hear him shout out, well, I'll be a
bee Felow's tan hide it beat off me, he'll he'll not.
Speaker 4: I won't allow it.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. It didn't mean for y'all to hear that.
Keep on discussing. Come here, salamander. He tries putting it
in his beard.
Speaker 4: I don't think we should love him, have that salamander.
Speaker 5: I don't pay close attention to the salamander. And then
see if I can trains into a big one.
Speaker 3: All right, make your role.
Speaker 4: He's just a toothless gator.
Speaker 2: Slement is a teeth oh, all of them, every single
settlement is a teeth. Ten.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he definitely has it. I don't even have to wait,
big mangy pink, make your role for see. How see
how well the salamander transformation turns out twelve? Oh yeah,
so three moves plus your d four of moves. All right,
so yeah, he turned into a giant salamander. Turn around
and I'll be like, well, I'll be a cactus prickers.
Give me some of that live and say, aalmander, come here,
don't you be on me.
Speaker 5: You have a big I'll give them a big lick.
Speaker 3: He rubs his beard on you.
Speaker 4: That's your teeth.
Speaker 3: Yes, horrifying, not as bad as penguin teeth.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I hate them. It looks like a venus fly trap.
But teeth, yeah, I hate it.
Speaker 3: While you're at it, look up penguin teeth.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 3: Just think of how cute a penguin is.
Speaker 4: Okay, listen, the teeth wouldn't be that bad except for
why are they on the tongue. That's not where teeth go.
Speaker 2: A lot of birds have tongue teeth is they're not teeth.
Speaker 4: They're made of keratin. That's what that picture just told me,
As though I fucking care.
Speaker 5: So technically their hair spiky bits on their tongue.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, if they didn't want to be hunted to extinction,
they shouldn't have looked like that.
Speaker 3: I mean, penguins look cute except for their inside of
their mouths.
Speaker 4: That's all it takes.
Speaker 2: Cut that to themselves.
Speaker 4: Should have never opened them.
Speaker 3: Honestly, humans don't look good from just the inside of
the mouth either. That's true any dentist, I won't. Nine
out of ten dentists agree humans are hideous.
Speaker 4: I'm not asking dentists. No kind of psychopath you have
to be to be a dentist.
Speaker 2: All right? I want to count out two and fifty gold.
I suppose.
Speaker 4: So slowly one.
Speaker 2: Two take it over to and tell them, listen, you
drive a hard bargain, but we'll we'll take the big earth.
Speaker 3: Well, I'll be a penguin's mouth, I hope.
Speaker 2: If you don't, I'll stick that settlement around you so fast.
Speaker 4: I'll pay the two hundred and fifty gold to just
not bring it back, just so we don't have to
hear him being anything else.
Speaker 3: I don't tell you how you guys are with your money.
Speaker 2: I mean, have like fifty thousand.
Speaker 4: She's gonna get back, and we're gonna go somewhere like
twenty Still, there's gonna be twenty gold for the night.
We're gonna be like, how about seven day? Like, why
do we need to pay se what?
Speaker 2: Listen?
Speaker 4: We have seven gold twelve copper left.
Speaker 2: That's what wead.
Speaker 4: Times was hard. Is your wagon gold plated? Not plated?
Speaker 5: It's solid.
Speaker 2: But listen, we might be in town a few more
days before we head out with this here big girth.
So is it all right we leave it park here
a few days?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can leave it parked here, all right. And
so the big girth, So the big girth could fit
one of your wagons on there?
Speaker 2: Could that was the hope? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Not both though?
Speaker 2: Not one? Or not both? Not both? Wait? Could the
other one fit both?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 3: But then you're limited on travel.
Speaker 2: But yeah, all right, so we'll stick with the paper
Earth place of power. Sorry about your wagon, it's gotta wait.
Speaker 4: Could the other ship? What was the other one?
Speaker 3: The throbbing warlord?
Speaker 4: No, the small one?
Speaker 3: Oh, the after birth?
Speaker 4: The after birth? Could that fit? Could that fits the wagon?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 3: That could fit a wagon, but it's mostly just a raft,
so it could fit one wagon.
Speaker 5: And then if you're waggoning on it until it behind
it big garse.
Speaker 2: All right, let's do it.
Speaker 4: Let's get a second one?
Speaker 3: How much for the Oh, you go and buy two boats?
Speaker 2: We might? We might, we might.
Speaker 3: That's all one hundred goal for that one, one hundred after.
Speaker 2: After the two fifty there yeah, oh, we got to
discuss it again. It goes just a minute.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 3: Let me see if I can find another crater under
a rock.
Speaker 4: Let's see, I'm gone, slug.
Speaker 2: Should roll a log over. There's there's always It's a
few hundred and fifty gold for two boats. Yes, you're ridiculous,
it's kind another.
Speaker 4: Complete Why don't you start arbitraging boats.
Speaker 2: We need crews.
Speaker 4: Here, the goblins need work. What kind of benefits they're
asking for?
Speaker 2: U uh, all right, reck, we'll take that one too. Well.
Speaker 3: I'll be a chicken stenail. Let's go ahead and write
up that paperwork for you. Just kidding. I don't write
up paperwork. Just give you the money and you can
have the boats. Don't go telling nobody about the cheap
discount I gave y'all on those boats. So that's only
because I'm here for the cause, if you know what
I mean. Wink.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we'll keep our We'll keep our lips sealed.
Nudge wink, wink, nudge.
Speaker 5: Arms.
Speaker 2: This isn't.
Speaker 4: This is some how sub your future.
Speaker 2: Making a mock rib All right, So that's taken care of.
Oh one last thing, really, how do how do those
boats work? Oh?
Speaker 3: Well, mostly they're just rafts, but you put the bottom
end in the water. The smaller ones just a raft
and you can use paddles to move it along. But
the bigger one's got a magic propeller you can put
on the back.
Speaker 2: Oh magic propeller.
Speaker 3: Excellent yep. From the Enchantment nation.
Speaker 2: Good all enchanters. Mm, it's known some good ones.
Speaker 3: Whyn't me show you how to activate it?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I love that. Yeah?
Speaker 3: All right, Well, let me know when you're ready and
you're all suited up, because once you get it started,
it takes a little bit to turn it off.
Speaker 2: Oh oh okay, yeah, we'll be, we'll be. We might
be a couple of days, but we're gonna go take
care of some other stuff maybe.
Speaker 3: All right, Well it's here waiting for you.
Speaker 2: You how much you know about crossing here? Well?
Speaker 3: Been living here most of my life. I left kar
Kosa when I was just a wee buck of seven
years old.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, how old are you now?
Speaker 3: I'm eighteen?
Speaker 2: All right, that's quite a while. H Listen, we were
down in a speakeasy yesterday. We kind of stumbled across it,
checking out the sewers as one does you know, and well,
Bill found this letter went down lower into the sub sewers.
Speaker 3: Oh you are real down deep?
Speaker 2: Yeah? You know anything about what's down there?
Speaker 3: Well, I can tell you some legends about it.
Speaker 2: Let's hear them.
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, you might be thinking to yourself,
how was there an underground network of tunnels? In the
middle of the swamp. Shouldn't that be flooded? You think,
you think? Well, turns out back when magic was still
hey to have multi casting, multi schools in one person.
Legend says, some people summoned a whole pyramid upside down,
and the base of the pyramid is the city acrossing.
Would you believe that?
Speaker 2: Huh?
Speaker 3: So as you go down deeper, obviously the area gets
a little tighter as you scroll down or roll down,
but that's why it's all sealed off and the water
don't leak in. Now, some of those tunnels down deep, well,
they're said to have monsters and all creepy crawlers. Legend
has it back way back when there may have even
been a demon or to some summoned in from the
other side that came when the pyramid was summoned. However,
I ain't seen no demons since I've been here. I
saw what the conjuror is conjured, and it ain't allowed
to be summon in demons. And now now you get
in a lot of trouble for that.
Speaker 2: So see, Billy ran into a lady down there, a
dwarf lady. There was some kind of symbol on the
wall not glowing. She came and touched it and it
stopped glowing. He didn't talk to her, she didn't notice him.
Speaker 3: Well, that sounds like one of the warlocks from the Conclave.
I wouldn't be messing around with them too much. They
don't seem to have a problem navigating the pyramid, if
you know what I'm getting at now. There are rumors
down there. Not demons, but there are these shiny evil
creatures that are down there that sometimes like to feast
on travelers that go digging for treasure.
Speaker 2: Shiny huh yep.
Speaker 3: I've seen some carapists that somebody brought up. Said they
kind of found one that had died in natural causes
and brought part of its body back up. It looks scary,
looks right scary.
Speaker 2: Well, appreciate it. The morning, I think we're gonna go
take care some things in town. Appreciate your help, Brigley.
We'll be back for too long for the boats. Actually,
probably gonna center our wagons over. Get those on there
now right on.
Speaker 3: You need help load them up, man. Probably find a
few friends to help out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, see who you can round up, and I'll i'll
they got another ten goal pieces for him.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2: Thank you, and we appreciate your health. And you know
the cause, thanks you. Wink.
Speaker 3: Well, the cause is very welcome. Wink wink. All right,
our heroes will return after these messages. Hey there, it's
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back into the foolishness.
Speaker 1: So as I'm rummaging around the store, is there anything
getting stuck to me, like Missling's goods.
Speaker 3: From his store? Yeah, like like fishing equipment and some
bait and tackles.
Speaker 5: This lingus uh, dude heads and what's yep?
Speaker 3: Yet it's mostly like boating equipment, something like a life vest,
some hats, string of booies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, gets ropes all tangled up and stuff on my antlers.
Speaker 4: Inexplicably one parachute.
Speaker 3: I never seen the green salamander back color.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's uh or pink?
Speaker 3: Sound did I say green?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I'm at pink. We all know you're pink.
Speaker 5: Made you pinky is uh?
Speaker 2: Is awful pink for salamander.
Speaker 4: Also also kind of hairy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, in places he.
Speaker 2: Shouldn't be a little bit fuzzy.
Speaker 3: Well, now I can officially say I've been a never mind.
I don't remember what it's gonna say.
Speaker 2: It's fine. He's still working on that. You know, right
there is our illusionists.
Speaker 3: I wondered about that. That's mighty good illusion consider. I
wrapped my beard on him. I felt it real.
Speaker 5: Good as you are.
Speaker 2: Me. I'm a bard and Bill there he's a he's
a druid.
Speaker 3: Well, that's fancy talk.
Speaker 2: He can shape change that anything you think of, But
we don't do that in person because, like you know,
we don't want to blow a cover.
Speaker 3: I see, can you shape change into another pink salamander?
Speaker 4: Yes, actually I can fuss fuss.
Speaker 3: That doesn't make you the salamon.
Speaker 4: No, but I'm going to have a pink salamander costume.
Speaker 3: Make your role, and I hope it goes well.
Speaker 7: Oh no, it's a six, it's a two one six,
so you best best And it's like a super tight
T shirt, like way too tight arms, it's like three
sizes too small, like a child's T shirt on you
and on it there's just a stick figure with a
pink salamander trying to eat a fly.
Speaker 2: Are you stuck in that for days now or something
for the rest of the day.
Speaker 3: Twenty fails.
Speaker 5: He can't get.
Speaker 2: Ourselves this country.
Speaker 4: See, you're dumb. They're going to be looking for army dudes.
Speaker 2: Way to go, Bill, Thanks anyway, we're appreciate that. Help
does it. We'll see it, we'll see it.
Speaker 3: So you look uncomfortable, Well, you all have fun now
and the listen. Don't tell anybody else about the cause.
It ain't too friendly around here.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we only told you because you
brought up the cause. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, as far as I know, there's me and my
brother over in Carcosa and uh well that's quickly yeah, yep,
that's quiggly hot.
Speaker 1: Way.
Speaker 3: You are well informed, ain't you well?
Speaker 2: Leopard, he's a he's a verbose fella.
Speaker 3: Oh well, I did not know that. He seem pretty
tired to the best when he came round here. Took
him about two months before. I haven't got to see
his real face.
Speaker 2: Well, I couldn't get him to shut up.
Speaker 3: Well, it wants to be you illusionist kind can work
talk together a lot to understand each other.
Speaker 2: I'm barred.
Speaker 3: Oh that will happen, Black and White Bird.
Speaker 5: It's very charismatic.
Speaker 3: I've normally seen mostly colorful ones. This is a whole
new thing. Like a mime.
Speaker 4: No, yes, there's a lot like a mime. You're a
minut all the quiet.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pretend I'm pulling an invisible rope the rest
of the way out the door.
Speaker 4: We'll take care he's pulling it the wrong way way.
Speaker 5: Then you can get to the door and do that
invisible wall thing.
Speaker 2: I have to wear this around Bill. So that fella
said that he thinks that dwarf woman you saw was
a warlock. And there's that conclave of a warlocks going
on with a dragon, right, it's supposed to be happening
soon or something. Probably, I wonder if we should find
out more about that.
Speaker 4: I don't see why not are we going into the
upside down the pyramid?
Speaker 2: I mean it's he's already been yeah, but we could
go like further.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's probably cold jewelry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's where that.
Speaker 4: Last time we rated tombs, I got cold jewelry.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm I'm trying to I'm trying to come
up with an excuse to go. I mean, we do
need to find out about these warlocks, and that's our
best lead, really.
Speaker 4: And we told them we were going to be back
in a couple of days and we really don't have
anything to do, but we can't go back early. Yeah,
it will seem like we're not busy.
Speaker 2: And who I know. You want to see what those
shiny shiny things.
Speaker 4: Are, right, Yeah, there's flooded tunnels. And he's basically an alligator.
Speaker 2: Even better than an alligator.
Speaker 5: I'm a salamander.
Speaker 2: It's way better an alligators. Yeah, I guess we better
go down there.
Speaker 4: But the person sized salamander is just an alligator. Now,
how to fire? You do explain to me the difference
teeth scales, scales works. They both have teeth, apparently, all right,
should we get them a settle?
Speaker 2: Also, salamanders have a larval stage.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but he doesn't.
Speaker 2: But that's the difference between them an alligator.
Speaker 4: I hate it here.
Speaker 3: So you guys going back to the speakeasy.
Speaker 2: Are you doing?
Speaker 3: You getting equipment? Like, what's the idea? Do you need equipment?
Speaker 2: I don't think we really need much equipment. We need
to stock up on some provisions because we're down to
only a dozen and we need a house to raaid.
It's true, I mean, I don't really think we need
any other equipment. Though.
Speaker 5: Where does Wrigley live?
Speaker 3: Probably inside the shop on the second floor. I remember
it was a two story shock.
Speaker 2: And we could probably find a store.
Speaker 3: Okay, head to the general store. Yeah, you know, hot
pockets are a gold apiece, so you can get those
for you who need them. And then what else do
you need?
Speaker 5: Torches?
Speaker 4: Waterproof torches, hot pockets.
Speaker 2: That puts the speck up with thirty. Now we have
any torches, I can cast light or pressgitation to light
a fire if we need a fire. So, uh, let's
see the proprietor. He seems local. Yep, all right, hey man,
we're going on a on an expedition into the swamp.
Just uh you know some rn R.
Speaker 3: Well it's dangerous out there on a swamp. But uh,
you're not the first people to come through here looking
for a place here, looking for equipment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what a What do people usually bring out in
the swamp.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you got some bug that's right over there.
That's a real handy. You can get a bit by
too many bugs, you get sick, you know that, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, i'd heard that. Yeah yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Outside of that, you got your food rations.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you got plenty of loads.
Speaker 3: Out there. You're gonna need something to cook your food with.
Something to clean the water too. You got anything to
purify water? Where are you taking a conjuror with you?
You can make water?
Speaker 2: Uh no, I guess we'll need something to purify the water.
Speaker 3: Well, here's a water purifies say, right over here. You
can see that now if you're asking me, anyone can
make water?
Speaker 2: What I mean? Yeah, I mean go pete. Oh oh
yeah yeah, we need equipment for that.
Speaker 3: Well, you don't want to do it in the in
the water and contaminate the swamp, do you.
Speaker 2: Well, we gotta we gotta purify it anyway, right, Well, yeah,
that's why you have the pea bucket. Wait, the pea
bucket purifies the swamp.
Speaker 3: Sure, purifies your peat. You pee into the top of
the bucket and goes through a little process and kicks
out clean water.
Speaker 2: Can you just put swamp woter through it? Well, I
guess you can, instead of drinking your own pea.
Speaker 3: I guess it's not as fun. But then where you're
gonna pee, you got to pee in the swamp.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you're right.
Speaker 4: I guess if you pee in the swamp, then you're
just drinking drink. Yeah, you just we're just back to
the start, but with more steps.
Speaker 3: And you're now you're messing with people's homes. It's like salamanders.
Speaker 4: I do like that.
Speaker 5: I give him a lick.
Speaker 3: See he knows carefully, he talks giant pink talking salamanders
with ant some bitch with antlers.
Speaker 5: And shit stuck to his hair horns and back.
Speaker 4: I don't acknowledge him. You'll just encourage it.
Speaker 3: One years half missing.
Speaker 2: And uh, I suppose it's probably kind of tough to
find dry firewood out there at Hume or people burn
to make a fire.
Speaker 3: Well, it is kind of tough to find dry firewood,
but we've got firewood here. Kinling. You can start. You
can buy packages of kinling. You just used three or
four little pieces there to get it started, and it's
killing burns for a while. Then you can add the
wet stuff on top. It'll dry out and catch.
Speaker 2: All right. I guess we're gonna take a couple of those.
Speaker 3: All right, you got backpacks? Oh yeah, we got backpacks
all right, Ropes.
Speaker 2: And stuff too.
Speaker 3: That's good to know. You're gonna need some waterproof shoes
or boots.
Speaker 2: Oh we're taking boats.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but what happens when you guys get out of
the boat.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, salamander.
Speaker 3: The salamander doesn't need boots, but i'd say YouTube gens do.
Speaker 2: Well, well, we'll think those over that might be out
of our budget where this is a budget camping trip.
Speaker 3: Oh all right, well, good to know.
Speaker 1: To be.
Speaker 4: Clear, the boots you're selling, they're the ones here on
the wall.
Speaker 3: Yeah, those ones over there, they're black or brown are
the two color options. I don't know if you're playing
on wearing that shirt out your travels, but it's a
real uncomfortable shirt to be.
Speaker 4: That's yeah. You know, I figured when I got out there,
I was gonna want to make sure that I didn't have,
you know, too much for room to move.
Speaker 2: So yeah, listen, his real clothes are at the at
the cleaners. That's just a loaner they gave him.
Speaker 3: I see, it just happens to match the pink salamander
you're a friend with.
Speaker 2: Well, that's why I think they gave it. I think
that's why they picked that loaner.
Speaker 3: Ah see see, well that's how far tou it is
of you for you give you one out.
Speaker 4: Anyways, Yeah, those boos are hideous. I won't have any.
Speaker 3: Y'all have knives gonna eat knives. We got knives, fishing poles.
I see there's some bobbles stuck to the back of
your hind there, So you got bobbles fishing gear.
Speaker 2: Yeah, dynamite, we got these boot.
Speaker 3: I mean we do have a stick a boom powder
from the gobbles, the Gobbles, the family of Goblins.
Speaker 2: How much for that to tick? A boom powder from
the gobbles?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I'm right over here. It's twelve gold
to pop? What these things go?
Speaker 2: Big boom? It was quite the pop. Uh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you should probably give me like four or five
of those that worth that last time?
Speaker 3: All right, we can do that. It's in his face. Now,
y'all have a map or a guy to the swamp.
Look how you gonna get around?
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, we could probably use the map too.
Speaker 4: Wait, I know.
Speaker 2: Why don't we tell Richard I heard that one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we could use a we maybe could use a guy.
Do you know any guides?
Speaker 3: Well, the gobbles are out looking for work right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe we should go check into the gobbles. Where
do you find them?
Speaker 3: Well, there's a couple on the south side of town.
They've got the little hoots. You can tell which ones
are theirs on a counting them being smaller than the
ones that.
Speaker 5: Are the rest of us have. That makes sense.
Speaker 4: You're looking for the goblin. You can tell because of
how it is.
Speaker 5: I just wander Yep, that's a goblin host.
Speaker 2: All rights.
Speaker 4: You want to go find the gobbles?
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's uh, I think I think let's check out
the pyramids first. Okay, hey, listen, how much for all
this stuff here is? We got what the bug nets?
Speaker 3: Well, if I go ahead and give you guys a
group discount for all this purchasing, and if you if
you do come back through here, make sure to swing
back by the stop or to shop again. You know,
obviously repeat business is always good. But I'd say sixty
two gold that looks like.
Speaker 2: Fork that over and uh, hack that stuff up and
in those sticks of boom powdered to Bill. There you go.
You can carry those trying to get like struck by lightning.
Speaker 4: I'll just figure if we run across another big bad guy,
I'll just throw them all at his feet.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, especially if we're like in the top of
a big tower. That's gonna yeah. Yeah. Oh so you
got any socks.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we got socks. They're waterproof socks.
Speaker 2: Perfect. Take a look, si, yeah, I'll just take a pair.
All right.
Speaker 3: Here they are. They're made of Elvin nylon.
Speaker 2: Elvin nylon, yep, thigh high.
Speaker 5: It's a little strapped in dead.
Speaker 4: Scott. It looks like curling vines.
Speaker 3: Would you like the match in bri Zeer and chastity yundies?
Speaker 2: No things?
Speaker 4: Well hold on, why not?
Speaker 2: Idi you keep them free?
Speaker 3: Well, I'll toss these socks in as a freebie for
all the purchasing you did.
Speaker 2: No thanks, appreciate.
Speaker 5: I could give him to the lunch lady.
Speaker 2: These are for uh what's his face?
Speaker 4: We don't talk lunch lady.
Speaker 2: All right, and then let's I guess heads back over
to the to the speakeasy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, you guys head back to the sewer
tunnel that you found. You go down there and you
make your way back to the speakeasy.
Speaker 2: So it's on the way though. Yeah, So I feel
like if that was a warlock down there, and and
and Bill, you said the lady came and said there's
not even anyone here or something like that and just
turn it off and wanted it off, right.
Speaker 4: I don't think she said anything I could understand. I
think she was talking any different.
Speaker 3: She was talking to herself, but she definitely was like, yeah,
there's not even anyone, Okay, that was.
Speaker 2: It seems like that symbol is a signal to the warlocks,
kind of like a door knob, kind of like a doorbell,
which to me would imply that the speakeasy that's trying
to limit access to that tunnel by saying it was flooded, right,
it is friendly to this to said warlocks.
Speaker 4: Well, or the warlocks flooded it and they just start
using it.
Speaker 2: But it wasn't flooded when you did die, wasn't it?
Speaker 4: Because I put the torch out in the water, there's like.
Speaker 2: The channel in the middle of it.
Speaker 3: There's a channel, but not like flooded floods. Oh yeah,
it was trickling in from where the collapse happened.
Speaker 4: I had the picture.
Speaker 3: I don't understand that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe so the thing we got to determine that FIRSTY.
If it turns out they're friendly, then I can pose
as a warlock pretty easily.
Speaker 4: That's true, you are a bargain.
Speaker 2: So maybe just get good friendly like access and if not,
we can sneak. We'll see. So let's go try to
get some information about the speak easy. Whether they're friendly
with warlocks, I guess so. I'll love the plan.
Speaker 3: All right, And here's a good place to take a break.
Speaker 1: This concludes this episode of a Fool's Quest, and join
us next time for more fun and during adventure. Thank
you for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review,
and comment on your favorite platform to listen to A
fools Quest.