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Speaker 3: When your old career gives you lemons, throwing some ice
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Speaker 1: Oil, Hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on.
Thank you for telling a friend. That's how we spread
the word about the pirate ship and the body nugget Phelps.
Speaker 2: Whoa, it's been a while.
Speaker 4: It has been, buddy, Yeah, it has been.
Speaker 2: I uh, I don't.
Speaker 4: Know, buddy. You can take a second from feeding your
face my god.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I ate your devil dog. You brought me
deviled eggs and potato salad. And I said to him,
did you make the potato salad? And he said yes?
And I said, if you told me that this was Wegmans,
and I meant that as a compliment, and I said,
I hope it's.
Speaker 2: Not not a otherwise it's delicious.
Speaker 1: He did a fantastic job. And the eggs are great.
The deviled eggs were.
Speaker 2: Really really good.
Speaker 4: You're sucking them down. That's good. You got to eat well.
Speaker 2: I have not.
Speaker 4: It's tough. In times like this way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, here, here's the thing that I struggle with as
a as a person, as my sister. So I think
eloquently put it. Uh, there are certain moments in life
that are both ordinary and extraordinary. And really what they
are is birth and death because it happens for everybody.
Everybody has been born, and majority of people, unlike Doug I,
have experienced having maybe their own children right populating the earth.
And and I don't mean, but you've also lost somebody,
and so you're not in a unique thing. But it's
extraordinary to have it unfolded and see everything that's happening
around you.
Speaker 4: It's devastating. I yeah, I mean, you're not prepared for
the same as childbirth. You can go to all the
miles classes, everything you want.
Speaker 2: You're not no, you're right, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 4: You know, you don't know how you're you're gonna deal
with it until it actually happens.
Speaker 1: And I and I'm and I'm I'm a little bit
all over the place today. The obituary for my dad dropped.
Speaker 2: I always put out, I don't know what we say.
Speaker 1: Uh, but my you know, we had My brother wrote
one I punched it up, and then my sister took
over and really made it the best it could be.
And that that went out today to the paper at home,
and then uh, she posted it on Facebook and my
phone has not stopped.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: One of the things I'll tell anybody, just just being honest,
the independent world that we live in now. And when
I say independent, I mean you don't need anything to
do a podcast. I don't need a corporate sponsor. I
don't you know what I'm saying. But if you're gonna win,
it's got to be really good, right. The ones that
do really well, Yeah, are the ones that do really
are really good. And I feel like I have just
had my head somewhere else. And you know, I asked
Doug this morning because I was all discombobulated on time
and stuff, and I'm like, oh God, And I had
my morning segmented out and.
Speaker 2: The obituary went out.
Speaker 1: Actually had a doctor's appointment follow up for this cough
that I just can't seem to get rid of, which
probably is stress related in some fashion. And then I
had a meeting, a zoom meeting to play and the funeral.
So this was with the priest, my father wanted a
plan funeral. Well, I had already canceled the doctor's appointment,
so I didn't want to cancel again. And I get
the notice yesterday, Hey, nine am the priest who's on vacation,
which is why we couldn't have it last week. And
we are delayed a week now, and I got to
go back to mean and my sister's got to go
back to mean.
Speaker 2: It. You know, I was going to have it.
Speaker 1: Can do a zoom at nine, So I go listen, Man,
I might be a little late. And then as I'm there,
my doctor goes something about blood work. So I'm like, okay,
you can just go right downstairs and sad and down.
And it had just had to do with my physical
that I hadn't done the blood work for the physical
previously this year, and he's like, let's get that done.
Speaker 2: So he goes he should be short.
Speaker 1: Because I'm like, I got a meeting at nine. I
don't show up till nine fifteen. And then I find
out when I sit down, Hey, you're doing the eulogy.
Speaker 4: Who picked that? Uh? Well, yeah, I mean, who do
you want to do it? We'll get Bill to do it.
Speaker 2: I think that it may make the most sense. I
don't know you're the oldest.
Speaker 1: I'm the oldest, but are you I've also been talking
for thirty years, Yes, on a microphone and in public.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying that?
Speaker 1: Now, are you a junior? I guess I didn't know
you're not? Was will No, No, I am not. He
did not have a middle name. I do, minus Patrick.
Speaker 4: My middle name is William.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he's uh, he has a confirmation name from
when he was a child, but and it was Paul.
Speaker 2: So no, I am not so that.
Speaker 1: So then the eulogy comes, and then while I'm on
the phone, I'm going to just pull back the curtain
on some things with me personally. I don't know what
has happened since my father has passed, but it has
been somewhat. I can't say an eye opener, and I
can't say show you how things really are because that's
not fair or right. But it has changed my perspective
on a lot of things quickly, and it has changed
my perspective.
Speaker 4: To me, that is no surprise.
Speaker 2: Just yeah, well you've experienced this last year, right. Yes,
I'll never forget that. Yes, I will never forget.
Speaker 4: I was thinking about that today.
Speaker 2: That's one of the greatest things.
Speaker 4: So for those who you don't know, my mother passed
away October sixth, and my sister and brother in law
we're all with her. And then that was Sunday. Monday.
We're over my mother's house and we're just moving some
stuff around and Bill's calling me and I was just
kind of shaking my head and accidentally I answered it
with my thumb and Bill heard what I was saying
under my breath. I'm like, oh, I just don't want
to talk about any of this right now. And Bill
heard it. I didn't know I hit except and I go,
oh hello, and he goes, who was she? I heard you?
Who was she? Banger? She was fat? She was fat
and disgusting right like Bill, No, no, you can tell me, buddy.
She was big, you got drunk, You got drunk, you
went to a bar, you banged this awfully, Come on,
tell me tell me details. I won't tell you. I
can feel it. I go, Bill, No, no, no, I
know I know it.
Speaker 2: I go.
Speaker 4: Billy goes, what I go, my mother died yesterday?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then everybody's going to me, did you feel bad?
And I went no, I didn't feel bad because I
wasn't doing it.
Speaker 2: That was just the relationship I have with Doug would.
Speaker 4: Be that hilarious story.
Speaker 1: Hilarious story, and to me, it was a hilarious story.
And I know we've told this before. I had somebody
recently bring it up to me.
Speaker 4: I was thinking of calling you today and asking you
the same question. If you answered, hey, I'll be with you,
how's a feeling, I'm like no, So instead I made
I'm having a little get together and it tastes sale
double leggs. I almost thought about bringing you a big
dirty martini, but I'm like, yeah, I can't get him going.
I'm not gonna be.
Speaker 1: Discuss if it was ald on the podcast last night,
you know, and.
Speaker 4: You're with your brother and sister and you drank like
twenty beers. Yeah, that's a great night, and mean just
talking about your dad and everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, awesome family. Yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker 1: My brother and sister are and I are much closer.
I think that there were some truths revealed to me
about me, and I got to see things I think
from the new perspective. At times, I've been rather a
weak person, and it makes me a little embarrassed to
be honest with you, not confronting things, on dealing with
things in my own life. There were certain things that
I go, I'm just not putting up with anymore.
Speaker 2: I'm just not.
Speaker 1: It does make you also think, you know, what do
I have? If my dad lived to seventy nine and
the average is seventy eight, what do I have? And
if you put it in perspective, what's that? Twenty four
more summers? Twenty five more Summers's.
Speaker 4: Eighty so that gives me twenty five more?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Do you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: I know exactly, And we go, yeah, but just think
about how quickly the life asked five years? Sure, and
I go, I still feel like there's another another big
thing in me. I don't know what that is. It's
not my penis but no, not as an irishman, but
I think that there's something. And so you have all that,
But it did I There's relationships that I've altered and
changed and everything just because I.
Speaker 2: Go, I'm not, I'm not doing that anymore.
Speaker 1: And I think that I also, while I was on
the Zoom call, going through kind of the format more
or less of what was going to happen on or
what will happen this coming weekend? My mom was calling me.
I have not spoken to my mom since my dad passed.
My brother and sister called, you know, while we were
all in the room with my dad's Bonnie, And at
one point my mother goes, is Billy there and my
brother goes, yeah, and I just don't have I don't
know why I can't. I'm being very very real right now,
I'm struggling with having a conversation with her. I don't
know if I don't know why. I don't know why,
so she said, so I text her back, Hey, I'm
on a zoom call for this, and she's like, I
just want to talk.
Speaker 2: To you, and I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to, and I don't know if that
makes it it's more final with my dad. I can't
wrap my head around what it is that I'm so resistant,
because there's no reason. My mother's been very loving and
kind and awesome, but I just right now, I guess
the people that maybe know me best are closest to
me or whatever, and that's not even true because my
brother and sister, I just am like I.
Speaker 2: Need an arm's length right now.
Speaker 1: I needed the room and I will tell you today
has been more of a struggle than I realized, because people, yeah,
it's gonna hit you, and I'm going, yeah, well, you
know this is a natural.
Speaker 4: And I don't like that when people, oh, it's gonna
get you know, it's under your business, don't you not.
You're not at a ballpark waiting for somebody to hit
a home run. Oh he's due, here, it comes here.
I'm gonna wait, all bet get your cameras ready. Why
can't you just I don't know, just you.
Speaker 2: Know, I hear you.
Speaker 1: But I think most people mean that in a kind way,
because I think it's like, hey, don't avoid it. Feel
the feelings. And I would say that that's really all
we have in life is more or less feelings. I mean,
that's what songs are. They bring us back to a
feeling in a time. I love this song. It reminds
me so memories. But feelings are really the thing. And
I think that what I interpret people saying is feel
it all. It's okay, and it's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 4: I have never liked when people have told me well,
you shouldn't feel that way, or you know you should
feel that way about that. I me up the wall wall.
You cannot control what my body, my mind, my soul is.
And I've known people that lost their mother around twenty
two twenty three, and obviously I just lost my mother,
So I sometimes I wonder what it would have been
like earlier in life. Not a lot, but you go
through old pictures and you're like, oh, she's not around anymore.
My parents were watching old graduation videos and my sister
or maybe it was mine, I can't remember, and all
the people they have lost. And I've also met people
that have had parents nursing homes. I mean, you know,
we don't want them to die, but it's been nine years.
They're just chugging along. And it's so sad for people
would demension that don't even remember you almost and it's morbid.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: I want God to take them because they're not happy,
you know, And that's sad too. So there's a nobody
should tell you. You know, you'll figure it out. You know,
your mom you will.
Speaker 2: I know, and I'm gonna have to do it.
Speaker 1: If I left to my own devices, left to my
own devices, I would avoid that conversation.
Speaker 4: Well, you're gonna have to talk to her.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I would talk to her, you know, at the funeral,
and I would be able to shield myself with others.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, hey there's Uncle Soots. Hey, ikay, do you
understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: We're gonna run the twenty one mac here. I'm gonna
be here, Mom's gonna be over here. I'm gonna I'm
gonna hand it off to you. You're gonna throw it
back to me. Mom's gonna go for the buffet line.
We're just gonna come in here, right, We're gonna open
up this hole. Obviously Sandra from high school. Sander's gonna
block Mom and we we're gonna call this a twenty
one jump straight on three on three Ready break.
Speaker 1: But you know, while that's funny, that's exactly how I
would deal with this.
Speaker 2: And I was so close to.
Speaker 1: Colin her today and then an old boss of mine
from radio called me, and I haven't talked to this
person in a while, and it was to say I'm
really sorry, and we wound up.
Speaker 2: Talking for damn near an hour.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I didn't rush it because I kept thinking,
I got to do some prep before I go and
sit with Doug. And I thought, you know what, I
just have to roll with this today. But it also
I didn't have to call my mom right right, and
I owe her a call. And it has nothing to
do with anything. I can't explain exactly what it is.
I'm trying because there's oftentimes they think in life when
there's something that bothers you about a person. And I'm
not saying that my mom is bothering me, but there
isn't or why you're avoiding a conversation or something, it's
more about you, I will say. I do believe life
is a bit of a reflection of you.
Speaker 2: It's a mirror. So those things you don't like about.
Speaker 1: Yourself, being weak, being whatever, are the same things you
probably will despise on someone else. And because it's reflected
back and you got to get to the you got
to go in and get to the root of it.
So it just fucking goes away and you can have
a nicer life. You can live, you can actually live.
I think with my mom, I'm having a conversation with
her is more of a finality that my dad is
no longer here. And I, as much as I have
joked in the past that I have no nerve endings,
I do and they'll and I'm afraid. I'm afraid of
how of just losing it and I did. I lost
it when he died. We were standing there, you know,
but so on not to be I feel like I'm
beating a dead dad here.
Speaker 4: No, I'm sure there's a lot of a lot of
interested in how you're feeling, how you're doing. It's just
I don't even know. I mean, being on the radio
over thirty years and now this you are quote unquote
a little bit of people's life, people and joy listening
to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I appreciate that more than anything, I really
really do.
Speaker 4: I know they listen to you at work, and I
like the podcast. I can listen to whatever i'm you know,
just outside or whatever, and you know they listen because
you make it feel hopefully with some laughter, just some
news and a.
Speaker 1: Little bit of uh yeah, I like that anyway. That's
that's where i've been today, and that's what I've been
running around to. And then uh every once in a while,
I I I love and I don't despise, but I
love and kind of sometimes look like a dog that
hurd a whistle or the food bag open you go
with the New York post to me.
Speaker 2: But I love their fucking headlines.
Speaker 1: I mean no, just the headline for the CEO that
got busted on the jumbo tron. Yeah, they called it Dumbotron,
and I just go and it's so fucking funny. That
story is only they lived in summer. They had a
place in Kenny Bunk. My sister in law's good friend
just golfed with the guy's wife. His kids are camp
counselors at the camp in Kenny Bunk. So it's like,
let me answer this question, because I was thinking, no way,
this woman didn't know he was cheating.
Speaker 4: The little bit hurt. I've heard about it. So he
was having a fairy. He went to his girlfriend who
cold Play concert, and Coldplay does this kiss cam, which
I've never heard of. A rock and roll Moley Crue
Tommy would come out and do a titcam. Yeah, and
flasher bait. Now he's a CEO, he's very important, man,
he's got VIP.
Speaker 1: Whatever they're probably they were sweet. Yeah, they're a sweet
sitting out more of a belt.
Speaker 4: So on his way up, I'm just thinking, you know what,
that's a fucking guy that fucked me on the job. Hey,
when we do the kiss camp. Get it right on
those fuckers. I mean, what are the chances out of everybody?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: You don't think he was pointed to them? I mean deliberately,
just I mean, all the great all the conspiracy.
Speaker 1: That's a fantastic conspiracy, Doug. I love that thought because
I have not thought that, nor have I heard it anywhere.
Speaker 2: But I the only thing.
Speaker 1: That I would take away as a life lesson, maybe
not a good one for.
Speaker 4: People you disagree. Three three nanny motel, the hotel.
Speaker 1: Now not even My thing is you gotta always keep
your emotions in control.
Speaker 2: Do you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: So your knee jerk reactions is to throw your hands
off and duck, you're a moron. If it's called hiding
in plain sight. If that guy just stood there, no
one sees this, No one sees this. If she kind
of pulled away, that's fine, But to you know, to
do that, I mean gross meaning large gesture, right, this
gross motor movement, and to have the lead singer of
the band go either you're really shy or having an affair.
Speaker 4: He said that, Oh I didn't see what fucking said it?
Why would you say that a middle of your cant.
Speaker 5: Because you're showing the kisscam and it's this giant circle.
It's right in his fucking face and he goes and
it's funny. I mean, think about it, it's funny. You
or I may have said the same thing. You're really
shy or you know what.
Speaker 2: I mean, and it's not like so whatever.
Speaker 1: My only point is if always you got to try
to blend in, Like I remember crashing parties said, okill,
you gotta blend in.
Speaker 2: You just do it.
Speaker 1: Eventually you get discovered, but you get a lot of
food and a lot of shit. I got into when
they had the Heja Championship. I went up and took
a picture of me kissing the Wannamaker trophy. I should
have never gotten into that room. There's no fucking way.
I didn't have the credentials to.
Speaker 2: Do that, but there I was.
Speaker 1: Then I go private party and I sit there and
I'm with guys who are getting nervous, and I'm like,
shut the fuck up and just act like you belong.
Speaker 4: Oh, so you took a bunch of guys, we're going
in here, We're going there. Were you drinking Bill.
Speaker 2: Two or three?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were drinking at the bar this wedding. But
the point is my only point is that just just
just like kind of my cousin Vinny.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you blended.
Speaker 2: You know when I learned this. I want to know
when I learned this.
Speaker 1: I learned this as a young man that you should
not react. I skipped school, had it. I was driving,
I had a car, and I went to see my
buddy Nathan hang out with him. Nathan was one of
my best friends. He had some mental health problems actually
in the eighties, had had I'll just tell the story.
In nineteen eighty nine, he brought a gun to school.
His dad was a police officer or a sheriff for
the county. He took one of his guns and it
was in a duffel bag. And at the time they
let you do as seniors. Study hall could be in
the cafeteria and they had one of those shitty Jim jewels,
you know, those folding doors. Yeah, yeah, So we could
go in there and you could talk and you could
get some snacks from the cafeteria. And it was for
seniors juniors, but seniors were mostly so we're on the
side and my friend Chris Brenner saw the gun in
the bag, and Chris did not react. He simply got
up and he went to the office and said, Nathan's
got a gun in his bag. And so what they
did smartly was called down to the cafeteria. Hey, can
Nathan come to the main office. Nathan comes to the
main office, and somebody came through the little door in
the folding wall. Sorry, as my phone is blowing up,
and I thought I had it silence.
Speaker 2: And took the bag. And Nathan said he was going
to commit suicide. Wow. Yeah, and he was I just loft,
brilliant kid.
Speaker 1: Brilliant kid. And so he had broken his leg or something.
So I went to visit him and hang out, and
I think I brought him lunch. And then I drove
where I lived. It was like a forty five minutes
to an hour to the mall, and I bought myself
a Sonny Walkman, and then I timed it so as
the bus went by my driveway, I pulled right in.
Now this is where I learned just let sit shit.
Let's sit shit. Let shit sit for about a good
twenty Mississippi. Don't give it ten, give it a twenty Mississippi.
Just a little bit longer. My father says to me
when I pull in, Hey was mister Tye in school today?
Mister Tye was my first period teacher, physics teacher.
Speaker 2: Uh. And I said, well, Dad, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't go to school today. And I thought it
was one of those shitty parent things. But my father
never did that. He never played those shitty gotcha games
with us.
Speaker 2: He just didn't.
Speaker 1: And he said what, And I said, yeah, I didn't
go to school. What are you talking about?
Speaker 4: Where you go?
Speaker 1: I said, I went to see Nathan and then I
go and then I bought this walkman and he's like,
he goes, well, here's the thing.
Speaker 2: Your sister got sick. I had to go pick her up.
Speaker 1: And I'm in the pediatrician's office and I'm looking at
this guy and I think it was mister Tice, but
I couldn't remember, so I'm asking. I could have said
yes he was and skated on. I could have said no,
he wasn't and skated on. Instead, I thought I was
getting in trouble. So that's when I learned just wait,
because your knee jerk reaction that instantly, Oh fuck him,
I'm doomed.
Speaker 2: Is not always the case. You know, your guilt doesn't
mean that they don't know what's happening.
Speaker 4: But at that point, I would hope you also learned
that honestly is the best policy.
Speaker 2: Fuck that I.
Speaker 1: Hadn't my father fucked honesty, Jesus Christ, the little white
lie once in a while, go is a long way out. No,
he called my school and said my son skipped school.
I get called down and they go. Since your dad
called instead of three nice attention, we're gonna give you two.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, So honestly it's the best policy.
Fuck you all. I was a senior. It was one day.
Did it change the course of anything? No? You know
what I mean.
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, teachers get personal days. I think students should
get a personal day once in a while.
Speaker 4: Seriously, but obviously your dad made more of it than
probably should have been.
Speaker 1: Well, I think for him, it's like, well I gotta do.
I he was a teacher. I can't condone you skipping school,
you know, right? I mean even my mother. When I
was even younger, I was riding the bus. I think
it was fourteen or fifteen. The bus pulls up and
I'm waving on it's and our driver was like one
hundred and seventy five feet long. And I'm standing up
the garage. What's attached to the house, But it's just
set back enough, so I'm standing there. I have my
fishing pole stashed. I had lunch. It was a sunny day.
I was going up to this field. I was just
gonna fucking fish for sunnies and just have a day.
Speaker 2: It was just I was Tom Sawyer. It was gonna
be the greatest fucking thing in the world.
Speaker 4: I ain't. Yeah, I was down the river.
Speaker 1: Well, this is where we used to take the dried
up cowshit in the fields. We used to fucking whip
it at each other like frizzye.
Speaker 2: Oh God. If it hit somebody in.
Speaker 1: The back of the head and shattered, it was the
greatest thing world because then they're picking shit out of
her hair forever.
Speaker 2: Anyway, that was me.
Speaker 1: So I my mother who never who I mean again,
I love her, but a lot of times I think
her head was in.
Speaker 2: Her dairy air. And so it was great. It was
easy to pull the wall over my mom's eyes.
Speaker 1: She happens to walk by the fucking storm door with
the big glass wind, the big glass door, and she
opens up the door as the bus is sitting there
and the doors.
Speaker 2: Are open, and I'm going fucking go go, and she's yelling.
Speaker 4: Where are you.
Speaker 2: Scott gets me in the car and drives me to
the end of the road.
Speaker 1: So the bus comes back around the loop and all
the kids are laughing.
Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, man, I could never. I never got
to skip school. I'm sorry, I have no idea what
that is, but uh so there you go, I have.
Speaker 4: There's no moral of the story.
Speaker 2: There's no yes. The moral to the story is a
fucking honesty.
Speaker 4: Yea, a little bit little lies.
Speaker 2: They aren't gonna hurt anybody who's getting hurt.
Speaker 1: If I said mister Tice was in the waiting oh yeah,
you know what, that's interesting that he was in there today.
Speaker 4: I think I saw as you get older, you know,
white lies lies.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, because if you're the CEO company and
you're standing embraced with a woman who is not your wife,
don't fucking move right.
Speaker 4: Don't older, You're gonna matter her later.
Speaker 1: And then when if you wound up on a JumboTron
and somebody goes, hey, that's the guy, you go.
Speaker 2: She was choking.
Speaker 1: It's the honeylike maneuver or heimlike maneuver, whatever it is.
Speaker 2: Who's gonna get hurt?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 2: The guy lost a five hundred thousand dollars job and.
Speaker 1: Probably a bunch of other ship House and Kenny Bunk
summer House.
Speaker 4: Was she married to No?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know the answer to that.
Speaker 1: People are saying that he resigned and why isn't she
being fired?
Speaker 2: And there's all kind of why.
Speaker 4: Is it if you fuck something, you gotta be fired?
Speaker 2: Well, he resigned, Okay, he resigns.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes as a leaders it's kind of hard
because then what happens is nobody respects you are the
favoritism okay, right, favoritism or.
Speaker 2: Silently they high five you. Hey, man, just.
Speaker 4: Can't be part of the guy. That's not what Bill
Fight is about. You read our diagram, our Bill fighted
Bible before you came into the podcast. And now you're
fucking Lauren and you know Laura and somebody what Bill
I mean? Yeah, I mean you drove me to her house.
That's not part of the You got me drunk? I
know I did put rum in those double eggs.
Speaker 2: And he started playing naked twister.
Speaker 4: I lose a game after three spins.
Speaker 2: I'm just like you yellow, go ahead, what's next?
Speaker 4: I don't know Mallory.
Speaker 2: Who's Mallory?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yes, why don't we take a moment.
Speaker 4: Sure, let's take it. Take a little ba, scrape the
rest of the tasled out with your finger.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do with Okay, Look, Doug made it. Okay, Doug,
this is a small little container.
Speaker 2: You're a big guy. That's fine. I'm too big. That's
what I am.
Speaker 1: We will take a moment and come back talk a
little bit about the dating with Mallory for Doug and
Mallory sitting in the tree. Right after this, Leo's Bakery
and Deli on Desk Match Drive in East Rochester. I
went over there, and I know we're past the fourth
of July, but any holiday they have.
Speaker 2: Corresponding delicious desserts.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you the most patriotic desserts I found at Leo's.
I bought American Flag Moon cookies. Fantastic, great to bring
to a party. Look, people have all kinds to get
togethers throughout the summer. Go to Leo's. Don't show up
empty handed. Come with you know, I have about one
pound of Italian cookies right, can't beat that Canoli's. Can't
beat that delicious salads that are already made for you.
Max Old, It's all right there, Leos.
Speaker 2: What's the best thing.
Speaker 1: About Leo's Everything on deskbats drive in East Rochester and
open every day. It's the make this Summer event at
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Speaker 2: Put the cake on my coffin. Man, think of me
every so often. Have a loser's name praid.
Speaker 4: For all my friends losers day, prade for all our life.
Speaker 2: Gif to deliverous smile and know I loved you too,
and I always loved this song.
Speaker 1: Guy's name is Chris Trapper. Chris Trapper was in a
band called the Push Stars. He grew up in Buffalo.
Push Stars had some success. Chris is now sort of
a traveling tribute or he's written some songs and he's
become pretty good friends with my.
Speaker 2: Brother and uh comes and plays at the hotel once
in a while, and I always loved this song ca
on my coffin think of you so often. I think,
I said this last night. I remember somewhere.
Speaker 1: I was never at one like this, but I thought
I saw pictures of like wakes where the body was
propped up over by.
Speaker 4: The cake and Irish wedding I think, so I think
that Irish funeral.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, WHI Irish wedding funeral. The only difference is
there's you know, a few more tears those from the group,
one last person crying at the funeral.
Speaker 2: Yeah. In terms of oh yeah, in terms of death, we.
Speaker 1: Just learned that Ozzy Osbourne, at the age of seventy six,
who also had Parkinson's like my dad, has passed on.
And I think Ozzie just like a couple of weeks
ago when I was in Maine, I saw the whole
thing where he did like one final show. Yeah, and well,
didn't Kelly get engaged backstage.
Speaker 4: Or I don't know, I don't keep up with that.
Speaker 2: Did you please start paying attention a little bit?
Speaker 4: There's more important things, like what it's my fifteenth year
of doing fundraising for breast cancer, so I'm going out
and getting.
Speaker 2: More nobody cares. No.
Speaker 1: Actually, that is very nice. I think that is nice,
and I do think that that's more important than the
frivolity and stupidity of celebrity.
Speaker 2: But it is also a little golfing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, get some sunshine, a little exercise.
Speaker 2: There you go. Still very little.
Speaker 4: Still have to uber dj to guys kids graduation party Sunday.
I'm DJing wedding this Saturday. Gotta be prepared. I'm on here.
I'm making devil Leggs and Potasto form a party tomorrow.
So freaking I'm just standing around playing candy crush, watching
porn all day. It doesn't take all day, that's only Saturday.
That's a good five minutes.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, yeah, it's It's amazing and I I One
of my favorite favorite favorite radio interviews ever was watching
Charlie Fitzsimmons, the owner of Black and Blue Restaurant now
here in Rochester, Buffalo, Boston as well, so where black
and Blue is. And he's the owner of uh what
used to be show, I forget what his call now
there's one in Webster one here so the Village Bakery.
He was the producer of a morning radio show, The
Brother We Show back in the early nineties, Ozzy comes
to town and we get an interview in the back.
So we get to go into the backstage of the
Blue Cross Arena and Charlie is doing an interview And
I always loved playing it because Ozzy is just shoving
popcorn in his mouth.
Speaker 2: Just I mean, Doug, he's not.
Speaker 1: Even fighting, He's just shoving pop just shut right, exactly like.
And he's answering the questions and they're like, he's not
even really making eye.
Speaker 4: He's not interesting. He's giving you time. But the answer
we opened the there.
Speaker 1: Was a guy who people may in the Greater Rochester
area in.
Speaker 4: The Gars commercial.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can go back to the wall in there
and you can see Ozzy's signature. So Ozzie's sitting there.
And there was a guy that we that was named Snoozer.
And I don't know why, uh still around, still has
a mullet, still likes to photograph bands. He used to
be a roading for bands and stuff and manager.
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know. Uh.
Speaker 1: Unique individual loved Black Sabbath, loved Ozzy, love loved.
Speaker 2: Music of all kinds.
Speaker 1: Really, so he wants to ask Ozzie a question, so
we allow him to come along on the interview. He
asked some questions, some big lung like I don't even
remember what it was, but it was sort of like
this circular thing and and and I want people to
pay attention now when you watch interviews, you can tell
how prepared someone is or isn't, or nervous or whatever,
because they sometimes answer the.
Speaker 2: Question within the within the question.
Speaker 1: Yes, so we asked some question and Ozzy, with a
mouthful of popcorn, goes, what.
Speaker 2: The fuck do you mean? Just answer the question? You
just answer the question within the question, What the fuck
do you want me to say?
Speaker 1: I remember sitting there going, this is the fucking greatest effort,
the greatest Like that was a me and everyone when
we would whip it out and play on the radio.
Speaker 2: And I hope whoever has it that gets played.
Speaker 1: Again and recognized. But that was that was a very
very funny moment. And I thought, God, that Ozzie, he
is listening, He is paying attention to you.
Speaker 2: He was really bright.
Speaker 1: I mean when you think about it, like he left,
and I know a lot of it was Sharon that
did stuff because I had heard of people.
Speaker 2: Who's end to me.
Speaker 1: Holy fuck, dude, that guy could drink and snort and
do everything, and he lived to seventy six.
Speaker 4: But monogamous. Somebody told me that in La.
Speaker 2: Yeah he yes, Deep devotion with Sharon.
Speaker 1: Sharon's dad was a record producer, owner of a record
company I think, or part of a record company, and
that's how she met Ozzy and she started managing Black
Sabbath and then really thought he had talent to go
out on his own.
Speaker 2: And then.
Speaker 1: I was just thinking of songs that I could bump with,
like Mo mo Im coming Home or something.
Speaker 2: But uh, he he did have.
Speaker 1: An affair, yeah, just with a hairdresser that got But
but I think Ozzy.
Speaker 4: Was in a cold Play cancer.
Speaker 1: Sorry, he was in his sixties or something, I think
because it was after the Osbourne on MTV.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was three kids, one of the kids in
the TV show. Yeah, I mean I think I was
in Scouts when he was at Buffalo and bit the
head off the ban or whatever it was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I always I'm.
Speaker 2: Not sure whatever the whatever it was, Yes, but he did.
Speaker 4: But it's been in a lot of jokes in movies stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the guy was a I mean, he's a cultural
culture same last year, I think solo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he's in for Black Sabbath.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so Billy Idol saying h one of his songs.
But yeah, what a career, what a you know, what
a life. Shire he got invited to the Youth of
the White House. I think it was Bush. I remember
on the Osbourne's he was They're all making him up
and he's just standing there like a doll getting the
black makeup on and all dressed up. Yeah, and uh,
George Bush is a lot of people here, Ozzy Osbourne
and as he stands up when his when the show
was doing really good. So yeah, yeah, but I was
never a Black Sabbath fan. I mean, I like I
was Ozzie's stuff, but yeah.
Speaker 2: I wasn't either. I didn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but here's the thing.
Speaker 4: I played mister Crowley for a lot of strippers. I
can tell you that, Oh really, mister Crowley, do that?
Speaker 2: Can you do the intro?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 1: Jill me or she is, Yeah, let's do that. I
was thinking of like that would be a good one.
Just since you're here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say that Ozzie transcended music.
Speaker 4: Well, he just did a a couple of years ago,
a duet with Elton John. Yeah, you know, and I
always wondered with his voice if they tweet they must
have tweeted a little because he didn't have the.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 4: I'm sure tanging.
Speaker 2: I'm sure.
Speaker 1: But he transcended music and it became like the MTV.
I mean, I think there were people that never heard
him that were aware of him, you know, And that
to me, I go, that's pretty damn good, you know,
transcend to music, even if it's just the biting the
head off the.
Speaker 2: Bat rumor or whatever it was, that's all the moon.
Speaker 4: Yeah, obviously, crazy tree, mister Crowley. I'm trying to think
what else. I mean, I know we had more, but
those are just a three off my head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's I just got a message and I feel
like I need to address it in some weird way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well we'll address it later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me about so Mallory she did go out
with Mark.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this was a while ago, while ago.
Speaker 1: Everything got like discombobulated, and I apologize this weekend.
Speaker 4: So in a couple of weeks, we'll see what happens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know, I think, uh, I don't know,
we'll see what happens.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got a couple of weddings coming up. I've got,
like I said, I've got my fundraiser coming up. The
tent's blown away. Bill. I went to Samon Creek yesterday
is where I had my breast cancer fundraiser. And I
get there and they have a nice big outdoor tent
that put all the chairs, the tables, everything for all
the raffle prizes. And it's gone. That's what I said.
Like it did blow away. It got swift under what.
Speaker 2: Kind of what kind of tent? It like a full
on parttent.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, like a big strong, yes, with ropes and everything
hooked up to lighting. And it was a low low
It wasn't a low breeze. It was it was a
specific term where it comes right over the hill and
comes up like a wind cheer yes, and blew the hole, yeah,
right off of it. And it was rolling right and
when and I was thinking maybe it was getting cleaned.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know, uh sent the whole thing rolling.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No one got hurt.
Speaker 4: Nobody got hurt, well nobody if it was that windy,
I don't anybody who's playing golf, gotcha.
Speaker 1: So, uh, tables and chairs in this tent or I
don't know yeah, well, the wind.
Speaker 4: I don't know if they were set up. I mean
they were stacked when I was there, and I think
it was last week. So leaving, I'm asking the guy
I asked the guy before, and so, what's what's gonna happen?
Because I'm having my event there in a month, and
our you know, insurance came and started looking around and everything.
So I asked another guy that I go, honest, honest,
what do you think the odds are the tent's gonna
be up by August twenty fifth, because then I've got
to figure out what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 4: If it's outside, it's sunning, no problem. So it's a
little windy, I gotta make sure I have enough weights
to hold everything down. He goes, well, if you got
a dollar and you hope to win a million, I
bet that dollar. I'm like, what is your what? This
isn't what I need? What do you think?
Speaker 2: I don't want to do math, right, I want to
ask you.
Speaker 4: I think it's gonna be you or not. Otherwise I
gotta start thinking, well, it could be well, I know
it could be anything. So I guess I'm just going
to keep tabs and hope for the.
Speaker 2: Best the Well, how many people hanging out on the ten?
Speaker 4: Well, it's all the prizes.
Speaker 1: Oh, I understand, so and I've got you know, is
there any place inside that you could do that?
Speaker 4: No, not for that one. Well, although they do have
a baseball you know what, they do have a pitching
baseball facility next door. Maybe we could do that.
Speaker 2: You'd have to figure it all that out, but there's.
Speaker 4: Always an option, Like you say, count to twenty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a solution.
Speaker 4: Let's not.
Speaker 1: Let's and the problem and then that's it. But what
I don't think that's not a wind sheer, but it
would be similar. I think a wind char is when
two forces like of wind hit each other and the
air goes straight down. And you will see it happens
quite a bit, like in the southern tier and stuff.
You'll see parts of the forest that are just blown out,
so it's like it's somebody parted their hair.
Speaker 2: Down the middle, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And my brother hit one of those, into small aircraft,
and it was one of the reasons he never continued
in flight school.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he was in Indiana State for flight school.
Speaker 1: He basically my brother had a job lined up with
FedEx if he got his pilot's license. We lived in
a outside of like ninety miles outside of Manhattan, very
rural area, right. You know Mary Tyler Moore and I
used to do landscaping in her house. And then the
head of FedEx would come into a restaurant my brother
worked at. And my brother will talk to everybody and anybody,
and he started the conversation and saying, am I've been
flying plane since I was fourteen and doing this And
the guy's like, listen, when you get your pilot's license,
you let me know.
Speaker 2: We're always looking for pilots and I will, I will
make sure.
Speaker 4: But he had that much of a drop or turbulence around.
I don't know what. I've been in a puddle jumper
that's dropped like five feet here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you shit your pants?
Speaker 4: You shit your pants?
Speaker 1: Well, I have no idea. I don't know what happened
when you hit a wind sheer.
Speaker 2: I have no idea. But he my brother. This is
one of my favorite stories with my dad.
Speaker 1: My dad liked to do things like to work with
his hands. And I think the reason he liked to
work with his hands was that the satisfaction of stepping
back and saying I did.
Speaker 4: That's accomplishment.
Speaker 2: It really is.
Speaker 1: There is something to be said about that. And he
was uber talented and absolute genius in creativity, built me
the coolest room when I was eight years old. But
always he was a teacher, and I think even with
a teacher, and I used to say this about radio.
In radio, you didn't know how you did until three
months later when the ratings came out, so you weren't sure.
So at the end of the day you had nothing
to walk away from. I could say it was a
great show. It felt great today, and it could have
been the biggest steaming pile of shit that anybody ever
listened to, and you had two listeners on the other end,
and who knows. But when I would hang a door
in my house, or I would replace a window, or
I built the boys a treehouse or whatever that was,
there was a sense of accomplishment.
Speaker 2: I felt that too.
Speaker 1: My dad actually grew up in Brooklyn in a basically
a walk up tenement, never held a power tool that
I know of, and built the house we grew up in.
Super talented, but in the summers would.
Speaker 4: Just start bagging a couple of pieces of wooden together,
you're gonna come up with something. Put the door there,
window there, you got it?
Speaker 2: He uh.
Speaker 1: So he decided to redo the roof, and he wouldn't
hire anybody. He would do it himself.
Speaker 2: And I even remember saying to him, I was like, God,
I think I was like eighteen nineteen years old. Why
was I carrying? He goes, well, I ask you to
do something. But he was doing the roof.
Speaker 1: So half the roof was done in shingles, and half
of us still have the old stuff. And my brother
says to him, Dad, I flew over the house today,
it looks like shit.
Speaker 4: My father was so really yeah.
Speaker 2: He's like Jesus, like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think of the things. I loved him,
feared him healthily. He had the biggest vocabulary of any
human being I know. And I think I said this before,
I will name a dictionary I would bet money you
have never heard of.
Speaker 2: And I don't mean that insultingly.
Speaker 1: He had the Oxford Unabridged Dictionary of Regional Slang.
Speaker 2: Did you even know that existed? No?
Speaker 1: No, And we knew all these words. He would quizzle
us practically, So there was you know, it was this
guy who was just brilliant and interested in so many
different things.
Speaker 2: But yet at the same time.
Speaker 1: It could be very stern and all that, and yet
I don't know what it is. I put far powder
in the man's coffee, you know what I'm saying. He
fell into a fire and burned his hands, and my brother,
you know, was telling me his hands are oversize oven mintion.
And the two of us go, hang up, Let's call
him and see how long it takes to answer the phone,
And like, what.
Speaker 2: These are the fucking things we did?
Speaker 4: And I go in eulogy, I know that that should Yeah,
the elements, well, you know, we're kind of tough on
our data. A couple of times, fun things, things that I
remember that you can incorporate, your brother, your sisters.
Speaker 1: I gotta sit down, and I think I'm going to
uh talk the eulogy and then write the eulogy type
transcribe it and then punch it up and then just
keep punching it up. And that's what I'm gonna That's
the only way I know how to do it, because
I I don't want to leave anything out, and I
do want to, you know, leave things in, and I
want to end with you know, as he said, your
father's never dead, Yes, and sort of make it that way.
I think it's a nice way to sum it up,
but you need more in there.
Speaker 4: If you got the end, it's going to be easy
to write backwards.
Speaker 2: I think so.
Speaker 1: And I was even thinking like, because my brother's right,
let's warm people up, and I would say I wanted
to talk about how a life is so interesting that
we're all living because you're not the same person necessarily
you were five years ago. We all evolve and change
and evolve and change. And there are people here that
knew him at various stages of his life. And the
father we knew is not the man our her children,
Our children though, right, and the kid the grandfather that
my kids know are not necessarily the grandfather my eight
year old nephew, Dylan knows.
Speaker 4: So it's surely I mean my grandfather's or my father's
grandson never sees him walking around the house with his
one Z and elvis glasses and go oh man, I
mean a shot of rubble before singing the moose lass.
He's never He's never gonna experience that. Hey, Kathy, where
am i We're sieurns down my hair? Come on, we
got an hour ago.
Speaker 1: I mean that that's very right, But do you understand
saying like I think I know exactly what you're saying,
and I think that that's really interesting. And to say
things like, hey, we love that stuff. It's my friend
Tony McCafferty and his wife Sarah. Yeah, I think he
went to high school to him, yeah, so I uh.
To to me, it's you've got all that and to
say that it's wonderful.
Speaker 2: But the through line was all the words he taught us.
Speaker 1: And just like songs bring back feelings when we hear them,
hopefully when you hear words unique words. I mean, how
many people own the Oxford Underbridge Dictionary of Regional Slang.
Speaker 2: I don't know who even fucking wrote it.
Speaker 1: It's interesting, I get it, but why you know, I.
Speaker 2: Don't think that it's like really come on, so I
I certainly see a big reader.
Speaker 4: But he was a philosopher.
Speaker 2: Okay, he had a masters.
Speaker 4: I like to hear stories about people, ye like he
wanted to know what made people take Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was Uh, he had a master's.
Speaker 1: I always said doctorate, but I I thought he was
abd which is all but disert and my brother and
sister corrected me. But he had a master's in medieval philosophy.
Uh and and was a really really brilliant man and
could really think and medieval philosophy.
Speaker 4: Yeah sharp, I'm just that feeling like a night. I
think I'm more of a squire identify the night, really
good night.
Speaker 2: With a couple. You're a joker, but he.
Speaker 1: But I was thinking of what do they used to
call the ones that had to taste the food for
the king and in case somebody, so they had like
how about the fucking kings were able to have people
taste their food in case it was poisoned?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and so they had food tasters. There's that.
Speaker 1: And then just since I'm on the on the tangent, yeah,
you know, my father uh is one of the only,
if not the only, person that I have ever heard
of writing a resignation letter to the Catholic Church like
left Catholicism, and wrote a letter explaining why.
Speaker 2: I never saw it, but I'm like, I've never even heard.
Speaker 1: They probably wiped their ass with that man who read it.
There go, oh we really ought to change now we're
losing Moran.
Speaker 4: But I'm going about to ring some bells.
Speaker 1: But let me tell you this is where I have
such trouble at times with religion. And I think it's
a nice thing. It can be a guiding thing. I
think if we all follow the Ten Commandments and didn't
even go to church, we'd have a better society. But
religion is so fucked up that like Southern Ireland, where
my family is from Roman Catholic, Roman Catholic, it was
influenced by that Northern Ireland not why, because King Henry
the eighth wanted to bang I don't know, Lady Anne
or whomever.
Speaker 2: And he was married and they wouldn't let him divorce,
so he.
Speaker 1: Switched the entire country's religion to fit his sexual desires.
Speaker 2: Do you understand what I'm saying. That's really boiling it down.
You don't hear that in school. That's what he did.
So now Northern Ireland goes.
Speaker 1: Now we've got problems, right, We've got wars over the years.
Speaker 4: All about religion. We know what's happening in the Middle
East now exactly these countries have hated themselves of the
Donna time since Anna time we.
Speaker 1: Switch I'm seven, we leave the Catholic Church, we wind up.
I went to church every Sunday.
Speaker 2: It was a rule. Even when I.
Speaker 1: Worked midnight to six as a teenager on the radio
and I come home, my father said, if it's Sunday.
Speaker 2: You're getting your ass up and going to church. I
don't care.
Speaker 1: So that was the rule, and we always went to church.
We started going to what was basically a Protestant church,
more Bible based church, and my mom's dad would not
talk to her for an entire year because you left
the Catholic church nuts right, nuts. And my grandmother used
to pull me aside and go.
Speaker 4: Billy, do they have communion?
Speaker 2: And I remember once I was like eight or nine,
and I go, no, got that off a goat, stop it,
you stop it. That's not true. And I go, no,
it's not true.
Speaker 4: Cut it off a goat.
Speaker 1: I don't know, because she was making this thing like
she kept asking me these questions.
Speaker 4: And the body of Christ, the Blood of Christ.
Speaker 1: At first, I didn't understand what was happening. And you know,
I didn't understand her questions and things. And then as
she's kept asking me, I go, oh my god, she
thinks this is a cult. So once she said to me,
do they take communion? And I said, no, you know
what they do. They cut a head off a goat.
They take the blood of the gol billy.
Speaker 2: You stop it? And I said no, of course, wine.
Speaker 1: I said, it's grape juice and bread and they do
this once a month, it's not every every The Catholic
Church is basically re enacting the Last Supper.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do that with double.
Speaker 2: All right, I apologize for just the ram.
Speaker 4: I apologize.
Speaker 2: We'll take a moment.
Speaker 1: We'll come back, do a little tribute to to Ozzy
with mister Crowley.
Speaker 2: I'd like to hear how that gets introduced.
Speaker 4: As every other song. I might have a surprise for
you too. Oh, I want to make a text right now.
Speaker 2: You're gonna make a text.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna send a text, okay, all right, all right,
we'll do that right after this. It's grilling season, baby,
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Speaker 2: Meat, seafood, skills, sauce, sizzle. It's all here at Palmer's
Direct to You. Now go forth and grill like a legend.
Speaker 1: Well, hello, my chicken wing lovers and food fanatics, I
want to tell you about a gem right in the
heart of Webster, Cobblestone on Maine at one o nine
West Main Street. We've been talking about them since the
inception of the podcast. This isn't just another restaurant.
Speaker 2: It's not.
Speaker 1: It's a flavored destination that has everybody talking. We're talking
about mouth watering dishes like they're grilled salt and pepper
pork chopped with blue cheese and crispy Brussels sprouts topped
with a tantalizing tomato, bacon chutney and balsamic glaze. Doesn't
that sound amazing? There's more. If you've got a chicken
wing expert in your family, and we mean true connoisseur,
they're gonna be in heaven. My fourteen year old son
swears these are some of the best wings in town
and the best part these dishes are perfect for sharing.
So gather your friends, bring your appetite, and experience the
deliciousness that is Cobblestone Unmine, located at one online West
Main Street in the village of Webster. We're incredible flavors, meat,
unforgettable dining.
Speaker 4: All you lucky dogs, get up there front row, get
you love dollars ready. Here she comes for a little OLDMZ.
Why you know her, you love her, you can't get
enough her all the way from Detroit, Michigan. The reason
they put back seats and cars all lives front center
for a little love candy right now with chesty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh doggie time right?
Speaker 4: Should we do it again?
Speaker 2: No? No, I lost the moment. Huh.
Speaker 1: I thought you were right there because I was waiting
here missed crowd.
Speaker 4: In seventeen years since I said, ye.
Speaker 1: When do you play this song? It's a dirt about
a isn't it Alistair Crowley. He's writing about the nutty
guy from England.
Speaker 4: I have no idea.
Speaker 2: You don't know Alistair Crowley, mister Crown.
Speaker 4: I just remember one of the dancers. It was like
a five and a half minute tune. How long is it,
I'll go to say five forty one.
Speaker 6: Oh, well, I'm I'm when, I'm when I have is
five minutes, five out four, five out four.
Speaker 4: Okay, you're right there, though I knew it was the
longer side. Yes, yeah, that's a good one to get
a dance in the laft dance area because you get
more bang for your buck. Instead of three minute poison song,
get a five minute I had a couple of buddies
come in like I'm gonna get a lap dance. I'm like, oh,
we play like uh November Rain by Guns and Roses
or God, I'm Metallic Master Puppets eight minutes songs. Yeah, yeah,
And girls would come out. Girls would in My friends
like gosh, damn, this is a really long song. And
he goes, oh you think so? So you're almost getting
three lap dances for one song?
Speaker 2: And what what?
Speaker 1: This again goes back to my stupid head. I'm you
say that, and I'm thinking, how do you approach somebody
and fake Well, I guess women are just good to that. No, honestly,
fake sexuality being attracted to you.
Speaker 2: Hey baby, you know rubbing your.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It's like I'm going
to see Superman in the movie. I know he can't fly,
but I kind of want to believe he's flying, you know,
but feel he's gonna fly. Hey, she likes me. I
know she doesn't like me, but I want to believe
she's got to like, really work that because then there's
probably some guys like you wouldn't go within five feet
of you know what I mean, that are there and
you've got to grind on them. I have yet, I
have seen a couple of dancers in the past ten
years that have in a restraining orders, change their address,
change their phone numbers from old customers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, because.
Speaker 4: They think, oh, we're you know, we're gonna be there wherever,
you know. And there's girls outside the club that would
on their days off, they would go to lunch with
these guys. Look at escort and I have sex, but
they're getting paid for their time and the free lunch.
Speaker 2: There was God, I wish I could remember the way
the joke went.
Speaker 1: But my friend Bet Donahue, who was pretty successful in
comedy in the nineties, she had a joke about guy
showing up in the strip club all the time, you know,
and the stripper has been there for twenty.
Speaker 2: Years and say Bob a Joe, see you tomorrow. Whatever
it was.
Speaker 1: But it was very funny the way she did it,
And I go, there is that element where you become attached.
I knew a guy locally who used to offer himself
as sort of a bodyguard and would carry their bags.
And you know, he's always hanging around with these strippers,
and I'd be like, what the fuck is going on here?
Speaker 4: Oh, he's a good guy. You know, I'm gonna give
him a shit. He had kids and not my hot
boyfriend with a cocaine proud.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: That guy could turn on he in a second. Who
knows right exactly? He's good looking whatever those girls were
attracted to.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know. No, I'm looking at myself on camera.
I gotta tick something, yeah, shave, Yeah, I probably should.
I probably should. I was thinking of that.
Speaker 4: I saw you last night. I mean I just sat
down and put a bill of fight on my Eh.
Bill's Bill's him that rough right now? No?
Speaker 2: I just.
Speaker 4: I just not growing his beard. AT's middle of summer.
Speaker 2: That's a good point. That's a good point.
Speaker 4: You have a lot going on. I can just tell that.
Sure does not do you justice. The lions go across,
they make you look bigger, do they?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I mean I was told that ten years ago, and
I was already fat. So we're not talking about lines
of the football field. Lions on the table, got lines
on a shirt.
Speaker 2: I think I remember years ago.
Speaker 1: I think my dad said to this fat priest once
in Uh.
Speaker 2: No, I'm serious.
Speaker 4: I think you said, I know you are, he said
to a fat priest.
Speaker 2: Pins. He goes, well, pinstripes. That's such a slimming effect.
Speaker 1: Because it's going to you know, horizontal. Uh it's a
vertical instead of horizontal, and the horizontal stripes.
Speaker 2: You're right. I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Why I just threw this on today. I was like
running around. I had to get to a doctor. I
had to do this.
Speaker 4: I had to do that, just a regular doctor practologist.
Speaker 1: H yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, none of
that kind of college.
Speaker 2: I don't talk about my my.
Speaker 4: That's the only two I know. Urologists.
Speaker 2: No. I just went to the yeah, GP, GP practitioner.
Speaker 4: Do you have a you have a guy?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Okay, well if you had him, I don't know. I
don't have a doctor. What I said, I don't have
a doctor. I don't have a GP. I wake up,
I make it in the kitchen.
Speaker 2: I'm good.
Speaker 4: What not everybody has a doctor. Well, I got a bartender.
Speaker 2: Who doesn't have a fucking doctor.
Speaker 4: You're looking at him, baby.
Speaker 2: I have a doctor. Good, I have a doctor.
Speaker 4: I haven't taking patience.
Speaker 1: Uh, yes he I don't know if he is or not.
I've had this doctor since I jesus, I've had this
doctor since I was like in my early twenties.
Speaker 4: So he's just a little older than you.
Speaker 2: He's older maybe somewhere in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've yeah, I've had the same guy ever
ever since, always here in Fairport. And oh yeah, since
I was in my I didn't even think about that. Yeah,
he's had fingers and places that no one else is
at first.
Speaker 2: No, he has.
Speaker 1: Seriously, I'm gonna tell you, like one time I used
to get I used to get prostate infections when I
was young, and I there may be a reason as
to why not an STD, but I just was like
hyper fucking weird sexual And it wasn't necessarily even with
people like I had a girlfriend or whatever, but I
would I would jerk off so much knee cartilage came
out till cartilage at one point. It was amazing, and
I think that it was like overuse. So he said
to me, it's not uncommon for young men a lot
of things.
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I was calling sex lines doing
everything and it's nutty. I shouldn't even admit this stuff.
And uh.
Speaker 1: He once did a prostate exam and I had on khakis,
like and I went in there and he like, looped up.
I mean it was looped up. There was goo. When
he says to me afterwards.
Speaker 2: You may want to wipe yourself, you know. Bah, I'm like, okay.
Speaker 4: And Bill said, you know, your rings really hurt. He goes,
I don't wear what rings? That's my watch.
Speaker 2: So he says uh. He's like yeah, uh, you know
what up? So I leave?
Speaker 4: So you mastered me too much? It hurts your pres state.
I thought it was good for prest eight.
Speaker 1: There's a limit, like with anything in life, just driye
the limit ride it.
Speaker 2: Well. I don't know about our age, but I'm saying
back then, but I was, I was like, don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say too much because there's there's
people there's people that okay that maybe I don't fucking know,
but I was on the radio. I was young, and yeah, okay, okay,
So there was a lot of opportunities for things, and
I may have taken opportunity here and there and then
went home and thought about that again.
Speaker 2: It was like, God, damn lair, it comes round three.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, you're young, right, I
mean I had an eternal erection.
Speaker 2: You heard of the eternal flame?
Speaker 4: There you go when you're young.
Speaker 1: Of course, yes, it died with my dad. So he
I go to work and somebody goes, hey, man, you
got like a half dollar size steam right over your asshole.
Speaker 2: I go and I go in the bathroom looking like,
oh my god, I gotta go home.
Speaker 1: It like leaked out all the goo from getting a
prostate exam, like leaked out. I had to go home.
I had to go home. There are women listening right now,
going I know what the fuck you're saying, Yes, son
of the bitch stuck into my ass. I'm in the
meeting and the next thing I.
Speaker 2: Know, it's terrible.
Speaker 1: And this is why my mother doesn't listen good, and
maybe the reason I don't want to speak. Maybe, and
my dad's rolling over and whatever he's in, whatever drawer.
Speaker 4: He's in, is he being laid out? Is he creamated yet?
Speaker 2: No? So here's the thing. This is what we don't
this is the problem.
Speaker 4: This is the half of them. No.
Speaker 1: No, I'll give you the skinny on it. He wanted
to have when we were all up there at the
beginning of July, end of June, beginning of July, he's
calling people and saying I'm dying.
Speaker 2: I'm dying tomorrow. Calls his brother, calls you. So my
uncle's called me. Is he really? I don't think there's parkins,
I said, I understand.
Speaker 1: So there was a priest up there, or a father
reverend at a church.
Speaker 2: He went to.
Speaker 1: I think it's a well, I don't even know how
I'm going to say, pisc companion. But he liked the guy.
My dad had lived there from November to April one year,
worst time to be in Maine. Hated it the entire time,
couldn't wait to get back to Jersey. But he was
sort of like appeasing my brother, who said, hey, you
need to be close. So he comes back and he's
telling me, hey, I went to church and the father
remembered me from the last time. So my dad was
very happy about that. When he thought he was dying,
he said, can someone please get him over here? So
we laughed and they had a long conversation about his wishes.
His wishes were to have a church ceremony and then
a big party after the grieving was done a couple
months later, in sort of a celebration of life. So
our thought was, he passes, we would have we would
quickly because my brother's kids were away for two weeks
at sleep away camp, and my sister down in DC
and her kids were going alternating weeks to sleep away camp,
and so and my guys, I was going to you know,
Jamison was with his mom, So I was going to
We were going to have a small ceremony, not even
in bomb him, have it in the church to what
he honor his wishes, have it with the three of
us and anybody else that wanted to come, certainly, uh,
and then have the big party. Well, he passes on
a Friday, the reverend is going on vacation this week. Okay,
so he's not around. So we had to embalm him.
And then my brother met with the funeral parlor and
my brother's like look he goes, you can rent a coffin.
He's like, we bought a coffin, and I said, what
are we doing with the coffin?
Speaker 2: He goes, he didn't burn with them. I go, what happens?
Speaker 1: He said, you rent a coffin, it's eight it's like
eighteen hundred bucks, and then you have to put them
in something else to incinerate. So he goes a pine
box that just a cheap pine box, was like an
additional four or five hundred he goes, Or it's something else,
he goes. By the time you're done, he goes, ueah, yeah,
and a new he goes, a new coffin, a new
pretty nice coffin, six thousand dollars twenty yeah, and he goes,
so you know, let's let's he.
Speaker 4: Goes, So that's what we did, running a coffin and
then putting him in a pine bag.
Speaker 1: No buying the cough because it was going to be
actually more economically feasible. And my father had a certain account.
Of course, he didn't get us to the bank to
get anybody on the account, so there's a little bit, right,
But he had a certain allot of money for his funeral,
and so much that we're like, we're going to throw
the party.
Speaker 2: We're gonna do this.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have a little reception afterwards. Obviously things change.
More people will be there, the kids will all be
there because they're back from camp and all that, and
then we'll have something at a restaurant after and then
we'll have the party, and then there's enough money that
we're going to take a big family trip, like the
entire family, we're all going to go to go to
Ireland or something like that. Oh, that would be nice
and so that. But he had his fun for I
don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: So there you go. All right. I don't know what
else to say to you. Anything else happening in your world? Yeah?
Speaker 4: What? Well, I was going to have this person to call.
Speaker 2: Well, it's we're getting You told me you had a.
Speaker 4: Possible heart out right heart out.
Speaker 2: Yes, No, we're good. Oh I thought you said quarter four.
Speaker 4: Well we're still going, don't worry about it. Well we're close, okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was gonna just kind of wrap it up
and wrap it up. I was just asking you, what
do you.
Speaker 4: Think if if you want to talk, I'm here.
Speaker 2: I don't know what else. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm I'm so discombobulated at this point.
Speaker 4: Let's wrap it up and give you only break me
a break.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying like, I'm not prepared. That's why I'm
asking you sincerely. What else is happening in Doug's world?
Speaker 4: The eggs, a little get together tomorrow, working out some
more cavity for a friend.
Speaker 1: Okay, nice, that's a nice thing. The writing for somebody, Yes,
it's actually gotten. The juice is going a little bit. Yeah,
I think it's great.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: How is she doing in the contest?
Speaker 4: You made it to the second round? Okay, yeah, there
you goes the girl. I don't want to give away
anybody's names or anything like that. So she's on or
maybe makes it to the finals. Our anniversaries come up.
I don't know if anybody saw it three years knowing
Bill Moran Facebook Friends, which very lucky. Yes, you and
I both you're the MC. I think a lot of
people know this MC and the funniest person in Rochester.
Bill fell in love with me after the first night.
Speaker 2: Well, I liked his joke, my joke, a joke about
the jack jag joke.
Speaker 4: And here I am three years later there, it is there,
it is came together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really appreciate you coming out. I'm sorry that
I was running a little behind today. I did not
expect when the when the obituary dropped, that I'm hearing
from people like while we were sitting here, my best
friend from high school was trying to call me, uh
and other people. So you know, it's like you gotta acknowledge.
Speaker 4: Those Yeah, and so that maybe not right away, but.
Speaker 2: I feel like some of these people, I got it
right now, right.
Speaker 1: I mean, if the phone rang and I had a moment,
I was going to as for certain people, absolutely for anybody,
you know, I will say this just as a parting now.
The one gift that we overlook that everybody gives us
is their time. You've said that before, and I really
believe that, and I believe that even more now. So
because you don't know how long you got, you know,
you just don't. I was lucky enough to be able
to kind of prepare myself and say goodbye to my dad.
Other people don't have that luxury. They don't at all.
Malcolm Jamal Warner's family did not think that he was
dying on a trip to Costa Rica, right, right, they
just didn't.
Speaker 4: You can get their phone call.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: My friend in California, his mother passed away right around
Christmas and the police came to his house and are
you Gregory? So so when they said Gregory, he knew
something was sure and that was tragic. Yeah, and carry accident.
Speaker 1: It's terrible, right, it's terrible, and and you hope that
never happens, and no one. But my point is when
someone's willing to give you their time.
Speaker 2: Be respectful.
Speaker 4: And sometimes you don't think about that until until somebody passes,
until it's no late.
Speaker 2: I always try to.
Speaker 1: I've been saying that for years and I really have
on the radio and other places, and I say it's
my son's often because how many times, like a girl
likes you, maybe you don't really like her if she
wants to If someone's willing to give you your time,
either don't waste theirs and be honest. He'll be weak
and just say you know what, this doesn't really work
for me, whatever, or be kind and enjoy the moment
with the person who's giving you the gift of their time.
And I hope that in some way I've done that
with people in my own life. You know, perspectives change,
things change sometimes. I have used this analogy before and
it's got me into trouble. But up that people's upset
somebody in my life. But I said that sometimes relationships
they are sort of like a car and you take
it for so many miles, and then you get a
new car.
Speaker 2: You get out and you get.
Speaker 4: It last for seven years.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: Better, This one was from nineteen fifty four, but it
feels so good when I sit in it. I like
those older cars. It doesn't have all the bells and whistles.
It doesn't ding age your fifteen fucking dime, ding ding
ding ding. You know, most of the parts aren't original anymore.
Speaker 2: But all right, see now you're making her points.
Speaker 4: Very agree, take your teeth out and give a denture adventure.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: But my point was that like it's you know, it
just it's a simple analogy. But you can understand that
sometimes in life, you get a new car, you move
on to something else, but you don't forget, and you
should hopefully we're respectful, and you change the oil and
one time one's long your rotated retires. I don't know
what I'm saying, stick.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna buy it. I just want to see
what's the track. I'll be gone for an hour.
Speaker 2: It's a test on what's your zero to sixty.
Speaker 4: You know that's why they had leases on cars now,
because the guys you don't have to buy a car
if you if you're getting the milk for free, you
don't buy the cow. You just go in your lease.
Maybe you want a big car, small car, and here's
one from one made in China, one made in the Philippine. Anything, Yeah,
maybe like a German make Yeah, vitas n you're digging
off the hook.
Speaker 2: No, all right, I can't help but dogging my phone.
I swear to God for Dougie Fresh. I love your brother.
Speaker 4: I love you too, buddy, and Bill Moran will see you,
damn